#im feeling better than i was.
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feeling better today
took a whole week for me to feel better and plus my dad is back so im not home alone wiht health issues
im just back to my same old health problems i had before. im not gonna push it or anything lmao so im still taking things easy.
#but yay not as yknow. spinning and light headed or headache#no caffiene for a Long time for me#and if i do i will try a low caffienated iced tea or if i want the taste of coffee itll be decaf (i knowi t has some slight caffiene left)#but im waiting a long time before id even attempt that too#i love iced tea more than coffee tho tbh. sucks not being able to have that either when htat was the easiest thing on me. i kno theres deca#anyway sorry for rambling all the time abt my health im just like hey update tho#im feeling better than i was.
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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#i just ruined my own night with this#i was actually feeling slightly better and now im crying again JKHKJEHRGEHRGRG#solavellan#solas#veilguard spoilers#da:v spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#mine.txt#YOU ARE RIGHT HE DOES SEEM SO WISE AND KIND AND SAD AND HE DOES LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOU MATTER MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AROUND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im literally that amy adams screaming into a pillowcase gif right now
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So I've been doing this thing for months where I just start grabbing one of my plushies to have as tummy support to prevent me from leaning too far forward towards my screen (the plush pushes me back as it's against the desk).
Maybe not good advice but for now it's better than me leaning all the way forward like a dog
#btw get a rlly hard/stuffed plush. ones that r too soft dont work and can practically feel the desk. its uncomfy#i got my sharkitty plush today. its smaller than i thought but its better than my octo plush that i have#the marshmallow looking ones. the splat 3 variant#im considering buying a large bear plush bc i love those + might be better#(i have one but i want another one)#etc
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HADES + Thanzag (1/?) "Thought you could just get away from me, did you?"
#hades#hades game#thanatos#zagreus#thanzag#supergiant games#hadesedit#gamingedit#indieedit#my gifs#*thanzag#i feel like im a better gifmaker now than 5 years ago so i want to do it again
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look at this idiot not aware that his body is warm and his touch comforting everyone point and laugh
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#admin draws#fanart#i got sick of looking for a ref so i doodled this real quick yesterday#ive been in a 'need hug' mood especially after the exam and sleeplessness preceding it#and thinking stuff#so what better way to process all of this than you guessed it. shoving it onto dirk#short tags this time cos im doing something else but i have lots of things i want to make.... its a shame im not feeling it again#if someone wants to give me excuses to talk about them the ask box is open for more than just rqs
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Happy birthday to the most special girl in the universe!! Wanted to try something ambitious and ended up with the biggest comic I've done to date
#signalis#ariane yeong#elster#overestimating elsters ability to paint so ignore how it looks probably way better than she could have done ok?#myart#i have nothing cool to say here i am so tired. i baked a cake from scratch lol and that took so much out of me...#im old..#im like cycling(hah) thru three diff elster designs bear with me here#elster seems like the type of person to be really good at gifts..kinda feel like u gotta be when ur on the same ship for um like. 15 years
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i now understand how certain people felt when harpy eda was revealed 😳
prints here
#toh#the owl house#toh fanart#lilith clawthorne#hooty#toh finale#watching and dreaming#captioned#WOW. WOOO OW. GOODNESS. MA'AM. QPR PLEASE??? PLEASE??? WOW#i both literally am her and i want to kiss her. Wow!#she is the ideal woman. her particularly early 20th century fashion sense. she's a big nerd. she appreciates history. she's aroace. she's a#bird lady who can fly. she has curly hair. Oh Jeez It Does Not Get Better Than That#sorry anyway i cant believe i won twice in a row with ladies (queen and lilith) who are specifically tailored to me and no one else /j#digital art#illustration#a small victory against my art block even though this took like 4 or 5 days to chip through. but i did it#there are some parts i feel a little clueless about so#critiques welcome#lilith please pick me up and fly my gay ass off into the sunset please im beg
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These damn queer the cyclone
#art#fanart#my art#ride the cyclone#rtc#ride the cyclone fanart#rtc fanart#mischa bachinski#noel gruber#jane doe#jane doe rtc#ricky potts#constance blackwood#ocean o'connell rosenberg#nischa#passionfruit#frenchaccent rtc#spacedolls#i feel like that one rtc post of mine tricked ppl into thinking that im better at art than i actually am#just rewatched it on tiktok cus someone reuploaded it lmao life is great#i miss them..#kissy kissy
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emotional support killer
#im art blocking but i need to draw killer to feel better#the trick is just to frame and compose it to not have to draw things you cant draw properly#(wink wink finger guns)#op killer#massacre soldier killer#one piece#forgive the more than usual messiness ive been drinking vitamin C
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Rellana, Twin Moon Knight & Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon
prints ✦ full process on patreon
#elden ring#rennala#rellana#my art#shadow of the erdtree#ngl i don't share fandom's obsession with Rellana and find her character quite lacking#I wish we knew something more about her other than “hehe messmer simp”#bc yes rennalas marriage is a big part of her story but we also know a lot about her in other contexts and before the liurnian wars#which makes her much more interesting to me#bc idk im just not a fan of when in media the whole plot arch of a woman's story resolves around her relationship with a man#and i feel like with other women characters fromsoft did a better job at showing that they are human beings with different agendas etc#so when it comes to Rellana i love the POTENTIAL of what she could be
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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I haven't thought much about Jonathan Sims for long enough that I kinda feel like I've started thinking about him a little more divorced of the emotional attachment I might have had once. Because I just saw a post lamenting his slow descent into inhumanity and losing his identity, becoming the archivist rather than Jonathan Sims, losing his friends, his house, everything he loves.
But is that true? That put upon head archivist persona he had in the beginning, was that really him? The way I see it, real life has already leached him of any identity he might have had, he didn't really have friends, Tim and Sasha clearly weren't, as we saw in their season 5 recording. He chose to make them his subordinates over beib friends, pushed away Georgie, he became so desperate for approval that he agreed to take a job he clearly has no idea how to do, let his stress over it isolate him from everyone around him, had a desperate need to assert himself in the beginning of every recording as 'head archivist of the Magnus institute london'. Forget about even having a home, he often slept in his office for heaven's sake.
The way I see it, this story is about him finding himself, finding the perfect place for himself in this already doomed world that was already strangling him and everyone around him. He became the Archivist, no longer needing to connect himself to some godforsaken capitalistic institute to identify himself. found his role, he enjoyed its power, even admitted to it. He found love. He found purpose in trying to save the world. In the end he was surrounded with the friends he made along the way (as friendly as they could be under the circumstances). He was finally allowed to make real choices, have true responsibility over himself and not be some tired corporate worker, part of a tired pointless system. Sure his choices weren't that great, and getting there was through outside manipulation and his own ignorance and he had to suffer immensely and pay an awful price of what we like to call his "humanity" but he Became and found what we all look for - his calling.
"It's still me" he says in the last episode. Because he is. He lost nothing and gained everything. Even dying in his lover's arms.
Forget about being human. In the end Jon achieves apotheosis and truly becomes Jonathan Sims
#i should relisten i feel like im talking out of my ass here lol#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#honestly im happy for jon good for him. i wish i could find apotheosis in my career#i feel in recent months ive become way more sympathetic to selfishness and so called inhumanity than i used to.#this world is leeching the concept of 'good' from me#its such an entitled concept of course you can be 'good' when the world makes it easy for you.#no dilemas or choises. root for the underdog and for so called 'justice'. okay bitch. imma focus on what and who i love now#this world be damned. which it already is whether i try to do better or not.#sorry rant over
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WIPs
#so i finished all the pieces. all 21. and then i thought 'oh wouldnt it be nice if the artbook was like the storybook in the movie'#so now im. making a few storybook pages. yknow. on a whim. dw its only 5 its only 5 more pages#if ppl say im normal they are LYING. im CRAYZEE. ouggghghgh this is so FUN its so funky to work w the story palette it pops so hard#gotta do text tweaking prob in ID rather than PS so i have access to kerning adj but this works for placeholding rn#but yea. heaert haert heyart emojee. i gotta talk to my friend so i can brush up on how to open a shop but this is happening#i hope other chars have creators who are this obnoxiously crazy for them bc i truly feel like silver is my fuel. he keeps me going#my inspirtation the light of my life the object of all my creativity he is eternal#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#the sleeping beauty vibes will never get better than this <3 love that movie#the rest of diasomnia is on pg 4 im excited. All of them. the guys
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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I hate the sewers . jpg
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#larian studios#astarion#astarion ancunin#halsin#bg3 halsin#comics#fanart#me browsing my saved clips like 'wait why did i record this one—'#cuts the scene im laughin for solid 5 mins#i feel so bad for astarion it almost looks like he isn't my fav w this treatment kcvvnxovx#'the bank money can wait - we need to pamper astarion now'#hey past me why did u try to switch places w halsin instead of- yknow- tHE GUY YOU PAIRED HIM WITH#prob was bc halsin had more hp to let him step on fire - and also forgetting the water pipe does that#ngl i still don't really understand how to do this part the proper way#like- yeah i know what to do but it's never perfect and always someone will get burned or pushed#plot twist im making better numbers here than twt w bg3 so i'm posting here first while i do a twt detox#my mental health this month is hanging there by two strings and these strings are baldurs gate 3 and hades 2#currently doing my honor run with my rebooted tav'chyon the dracomonk pls wish me luck
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