#just wish i could live in a fantasy world where you dont even need to worry abt general health decline other than age

[cyphyra]

me: man, the status of my teeth is actually starting to actively scare me, with random little twinges of pain, i wonder if id be able to start just cranking out comms to get my wisdom teeth removed-- that seems like it'd be a cheap procedure considering you're SUPPOSED to get them out at some point in your life in like 80% of cases--

google: if you're uninsured, fuck you you're probably gonna need to pay like 700$ minimum PER TOOTH

me: ...GUESS I'LL LET EM ROT THEN

[fipindustries]

first course completed!

that was arc 1 of introduction to magic.

and this is the first drawing i made of the main characters all the way back in 2019

what is this

now that the first arc is done i would like to take a chance to actually stop and properly self promote a little here. it was about time.

i am currently writing a novel called Introduction to magic, an examination of a magic system i came up with by way of following the lessons of magical apprentice Katerina Dolcevita under the aprenticeship of Maria Bellanova. the best way i have to summarize the feel and tone of it all is Fantasy AU-R63! Rick and Morty. imagine if rick and morty were both women and they were exploring magic rather than sci fi.

the first arc is intended to be a prologue of sorts, to get you up to speed with the nature of this world and the nature of the two main characters.

where this came from

i came up with the story and the concept around this world proper in 2021, while reading pale. i was looking at all the extra material that wildbow had written for its magical world and i found myself really wishing that we didnt have to just see excerpts from the magical books like famulus or 100 years lost. and it came to me that if i really want a book about magic to exist then i can just write one myself.

the magic system in this story follows a bunch of my own deeply held beliefs about life and magic. mainly that is kind of silly how we insists magic doesnt exist when we have things like computers and planes and psychodelics. it occured that if we were to live in a world where magic was real we wouldnt call it magic either, we would just think of it as the normal state of affairs. there is a post i read here, which i cant find right now, which said something about how weird conciousness is, how strange the fact that conciousness arises from the specific configuration of a brain. about how conciousness is the last, mysterious, seemingly ineffable property of reality. they concluded that we live in a fantasy world where our magic system has only one spell "summon daemon". obviously a lot of it was merely poetic and rethorical devices to see with fresh eyes of wonder something we take for granted.

and a lot of this book stems from a similar wish to want to see the mundane with eyes of wonder once again, which is why i insist that low level magic in this world is things as basic as writing and lighting a fire. is also the reason why a lot of the titles that i use for the magic specializations are normal every day professions.

the second, stronger impulse was to try to come up with a system of magic that could be broad enough to grasp all possible forms of magic humans have come up with and yet simple enough that could be understood in a few pages. the classification system i use on this book is based on all the broadest, most basic forms of magic practisce that i have seen in history and fiction. manipulating signs as drawings and writing, manipulating sound as voice and song, using tools and props, moving the body, combining and refining substances and materials, handling living creatures.

what's next

as we move forward on this story the format will switch to a more traditional narrative where we will properly follow the adventures of these two ladies. ocassionally i will dip back into textbook-like sections where i infodump about another interesting concept i thought of, but even in the narrative sections most of the chapters will be an excuse to explore some concept or idea. i gather by sheer quantity 80% of the content of this story is going to be maria explaining things to Katerina.

so yeah, if that sounds at all interesting please do read this, and please do leave a comment, i really want to see what people think of this work. i dont need money or donations or to be engaged in any algorithm, all i need to stay motivated and energized and thus continuing the story is to know that people are invested in it.

thank you so much for reading.

[casieyfran]

I just remember i have my own fanfiction that needs an update or badly need a revision or rewrite. But i'll just drop it here

Whatever it Takes

Pairing: Darth Vader/Padme Amidala

Fandom: Star Wars

Summary:

"Padme, you will be mine again. If the energy of this world are not enough. There are countless others" *** On which vader had succeed on ressurecting padme. At last. This time he will make sure she will always be by his side

A/N: This take place from the event in Vader Immortal: A Star Wars VR Series. Warning: english is not my first language and this is the first time i am  writing, especially a fanfic. So excuse my grammatical errors. Be a little patient with me. Peace ✌ ***

Its been 5 years after the birth of the empire. The same time anakin skywalker had died, and darth vader has been born in his place. 5 years living with nothing but pain, hatred, gried and suffering. 5 years since his wife had died. Taking all his light with her and then nothing else mattered. It doesn't matter how many times sidious inflected him pain, it wouldn't be match with his guilt and hatred from his failure. After everything he had done to save her, he still lose her in the end. He failed. Failed her. Broke his promise.

But that wont happen twice

He wont fail again.

He have 5 years to control his hatred. Learn the way of the darkside, everything he needs to know. Bid his time and let sidious continue his fantasy. he will kneel, bow his head, follow every order throw in his way and he will accept it like a good dog following his master. And it doesn't matter that he no longer have his dignity. He will do everything the sith lord wishes from him, let him enjoy thinking that he have a tight leash on vader. As long as sidious continue to have his uses, he can live in his fantasy as long as vader allows him to.

  Vader learn to be more patient and more powerful than every sith or jedi could ever dream of. He had built a castle on mustafar where every nightmare he had, taken place. Let him always be reminded of his failure, of how foolish anakin was. He wont be the same weak person. This time he will succeed of what anakin could had not.

After 5 years, at last vader finally have it. The bright star. It is an artifact said to be the source of living energy of the planet, Mustafar. On how it could grant vader an immortality. But he doesn't give a single care whether he will die or not. Less to be alive longer than everyone could possibly imagine. Immortality dont mean anything to him, death seems to doesn't want anything to do with him. He escaped death many times, even when he wishes for it. He is the bringer of death. Death did not scared him. No, he do not wish immortality, but he wishes one thing, and this artifact can grant him that. And no one can stop him.

When everything is complete and ready, he didn't waste any second. he held its cresent shape crystal in his hand and carefully place the bright star inside the middle of the Aeon Engine, that automatically powered it. He waited for a moment and then, he felt a vibration in the force before a bright energy burst into the top of its egg shaped, reaching the sky, and spreading across the world.

The energy around the planet, are being sucked dry and nurture inside the artifact. the planet are becoming more dead than before. He felt the toxic in the air and the temperature become hotter, the lava is unrest. It is all thanks to his accursed suit and hold to the force that he is still standing.

When everything is dying around him, a life will be born

And he will wait, will offer it anything. If its not enough he could simply look for more, there are thousands in the galaxy. It doesn't matter if a thousands of life pay for what he will do. They dont matter. Nothing else matter. But her.

Padme

He will do everything to accomplish anakin and corvax failed to do. He will bring her back. He will succeed. He will make sure of it. He will do everything. Everything!

Whatever it takes

He will

Continue reading it on AO3 or FANFICTION.NET

[ozzni]

that "from the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh" speech really resonates with me. well, a bit less on that part about "hahahaha I'm so much better than you, grovel at my mechanical feet so I may make you better", The strength and purity of steel is a gift to all, regardless of when they discover it. The Omnissiah shall grant it's perfection to all who seek it. cast off your flesh body. if it takes until your body fails you in old age for you to realize it's weakness, that's alright. You may still be saved. My body failed me earlier than it would fail most people, by giving me a male shaped form. I intend to remedy it. there are further flaws, of course. my eyes dont properly work, so I wear glasses. my arches are absurdly high, so I wear special soles. I have a disgusting lump of flesh on my groin, and it will be removed. I am covered in itchy, scratchy, disgusting filth (or body hair), and it will be burned away. I have a stutter and a set baseline voice tone and low maximum speech pitch, and it will be trained, and potentially cut, away. And at some point, standard medicine and psychology will not go far enough. my glasses are fragile. my soles exist only in my shoes, and don't last very long before failing to give proper support. the skin will continue to hurt and gather new discomforts. the groin will continue to spew out wasted resource (admittedly, this one I kind of don't actually mind that much and I think I'll be fine with having a vagina actually). I may well forget my training, and it will be far too long before I can speak effortlessly and in comfort. This is where the machine comes in. tough, smooth, soft, and easily cleaned plastics can replace my skin. A cybernetic eye can give me perfect vision, allow me to focus on multiple targets, maybe even see MORE COLORS!!! My feet can be replaced by... well we already have prosthetic legs so I don't even really need to imagine what I can do here, just get feet but they don't sweat or hurt (of course, the discomfort there will most likely move up to the connection point for the leg, and I can probably just fix the arches thing surgically, so ehhhh). Voice... actually idk what exactly replaces it. I guess a digital voicebox? But that gives me total vocal control! of course, everything I'm writing about after the first list is purely fantasy for me, because the tech for most of that doesn't exist and the stuff that does exist is just really damn expensive, and it's kinda not worth it to me to cut off my legs just to stop having foot sweat and pain. But like... a girl can dream, you know? hell, if we're being fantastical, I could just stop relying on a body altogether and upload my mind to a computer and if I ever need to look at/feel my cute body I can just simulate out whatever I want. Other than the whole "there's a bunch of people who can kill me easily and at any time if I don't behave exactly as they think i should" thing, Dragon had it good. wish I could be like her. Maybe we wouldn't be friends exactly, but I would hope we could be close. because of the shared state of being. if there was only you and one other human in a world of other people alien to you that the two of you lived amongst, you would probably learn to become friends. But I guess Dragon has the opposite problem to me, she wants to be more human and less mechanical, while I want to be more mechanical and less human. But we both use she/her pronouns so what's not to love?

[necromycologist]

rating 'fantasies' songs by their tlt vibes

recently i got really into this album and ive been listening to it nonstop and i got the urge to make this post so behold.

Help I'm Alive

we open with a BANGER. the whole heart motif beauty of existence thing is very tlt in general but "if we're still alive my regrets are few/if my life is mine what shouldnt i do" feels like it could be ntn cam+pal perhaps. 6/10 for general vibes not really going anywhere specific tho.

Sick Muse

i could see this as a convo between gideon and harrow. "pull your little arrows out an let me live my life" she WOULD say that about love... ily harrowhark necro'mancer nonagesimus lyctorway keep sticking your middle finger up at preps. but the main event is "all the blondes are fantasies/we looked at them eleven ways/you said look at me then looked away" like i dont even need to explain this one. YOU SAID LOOK AT ME THEN LOOKED AWAY the orpheus and eurydice the betrayal the hurt why wont you eat me please please consume me why are you saving me sorry one sec. ill shut up about greek myths now. 7.5/10 that one lyric saved it for me

Satellite Mind

this song is so strange and offputting it has to be about our favourite little bone nun <3 its givin htn harrow "i can feel you most when im alone" um the body the body the body "flashback of a feeling/sixth sense of a calling" its the love! that they couldnt take away!! 6/10 because i think that the dreamy freaky what the fuck is happening are suuuuper htn however the actual lyrics arent super close

Gold Guns Girls

i want this song to be about ianthe tridentarius soooooo bad... i want it to be about our favourite perpetually thirdweeling failgirl so much... like ive never wanted anything else ever oh my GOD... "i remember when you were gambling to win/everybody else said better luck next time" underestimated at canaan house anyone? anyone at all? no takers?? no??? 3/10 because despite my deepest wishes this is just a good song thats not about gay catholic homestuck 😔

Gimme Sympathy

slightly ironic gtn griddlehawk at its finest. "get hot/get too close to the flames" oops! now ur her cavalier "wild open space" gideon-gettin-shocked-by-days-on-earth-emotional.png "talk like an open book" not with that vow of silence. idiot. "sign me up!" shes not signed up haha "ill remember someday all the chances we took" not after the lobotomy u wont lol "we're so close to something better left unknown" cough cough LYCTORHOOD. 9/10 manifesting kiriona giving harrow sympathy after all of this is gone in alecto

Collect Call

hiii ntn fans i prommy i didn’t forget abt u! this one goes out to the psychosexual mess of role playing and bad meals enjoyers <3 "i know it's a lie i want it to be true/the rest of the rot is riding on you" oh boy like i said psychosexual mess... pyrra dve my beloved "wishing you could KEEP! ME! CLOSER! IM A LAZY! DANCER! WHEN YOU MOVE! I! MOVE WITH YOUOOOOOOOOO" oh lord nona placing her hand on cam's shoulder like palamedes would. oh lord being so close in one body and yet a second apart. 8/10 should be higher but i started Having Feelings about nona's death again and couldnt finish listening to the song

Front Row

this is a john song if I’ve ever heard one. “burnt out stars they shine so bright… all of us” is def. giving lyctor vibes. (just children playing with reflections thinking they were stars grauauauagh etc etc) plus plus “he’s not perfect/he’s a victim/of his occupation/social insulation/secret intervention” like fuck dude he really is!!! pilot that president around ordinary dude fuck the world up with your good intentions!!! 10/10 this song is the brainrot undying the kindly prince of my lyctor brainrot

Blindness

besties ngl i am INCREDIBLY torn on this one,,, on one hand “what it is and where it stops nobody knows/you gave me a life i never chose/i wanna leave but the world wont let me go” goes crazy hard. like harrowhark ‘cursed to keep living’ nonagesimus? hello is that u? on the other hand the whole opening sequence of this is very blood of eden coded… 5/10 this song has a very Character Energy about it but i think i must accept that that character is probably not a tlt one

Stadium Love

ohohohoo! here she comes!! this song IS about canaan house like the whole thing n nothing will convince me otherwise. "wanna make a deal/angel versus eel" hm im getting gideighth betrayal vibes from this "rabbit versus dove" WHAT DID I SAY colum get back here your government assigned fursona is in the song "owl versus dove" uuuuuh this can be about the sixth being cool basically whenever because sixth -> wisdom -> athena -> owl. idc that they live on mercury fuck off. the blorbos may be smart but i dont have to be. btw camilla hect if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out plz respond and then hang out with me on thursday night when im free. u can bring your necromancer too if yw. "every living thing pushed into the ring" duel time every (necro)man(cer) for himself "guess you thought you could just watch" go on enforce that cohort order judith! it wont backfire at all haha! "NO. ONES. GETTING. OUT" well. uh. none of them are. plus cant you just see the Character Portrait Flashes AMV Moments to the wooowooos?? cant you??? "without STADIUM LOVE" the last time they say this w the beat drop it should be gidedeath cytherea duel epic timez and then the echoing "love love" at the end is harrow waking up and mouthing The Three Syllables TM. 11/10 somebody lend me their animation skills please i would be sooo epic and responsible with them i have a Vison...

in conclusion thx for listening to my deranged ramblings (if anyone actually does.) please go listen to fantasies its so so good... message me and we can brainrot thru it together xoxo

[uopenthedoor]

any other former christians just wanna slap someone every time they hear c.s. lewis get mentioned..... like...... it's just never good......

its only 1 of 3 things

1 - him and tolkien were friends wow isnt that so crazy can u believe they invented the fantasy genre together NO. they didnt. least offensive option bc at least u might not be evangelical but u clearly dont understand the vast gulf between narnia and lotr in terms of their contributions to the genre and point blank their quality as fiction (even if narnia was for kids its still poorly paced, baldly racist, relies on outdated cliches, frankly bizarre, and lots of other authors did the same thing with MUCH more imagination and less artless sermonizing) and i dont respect u. side note no of course i dont endorse tolkiens catholicism over lewis' anglicanism i dont care either way but tolkien is a better fiction writer argue with the wall

2 - he wrote the screwtape letters, the great divide, mere christianity bla bla bla insert stupid book you had to read for youth group here. if you say this you are an evangelical and probably think he was literally a theologian. he was not. just because someone wrote a book and talked a lot about jesus to a huge audience of people doesnt mean they are offering some kind of profound insight or shaping christianity. he was a christian apologist, aka someone who has decided that you can argue people into christianity, aka the reason why the rest of the world suffers. christianity is not a "logical" religion, religion is not logical, it is a FAITH-BASED PRACTICE, if you try to argue someone into christianity who is not already christian you will fail because you are using completely different frameworks of argument. the principles you need to argue from are something that non-christians already do not accept as reasonable. this is why most evangelism functions mainly as a way of enforcing in-group mentality rather than "converting" anyone- unless they were already very open to christianity, in which case you probably could have just taken them to church with you instead of blabbing their ear off in the grocery store like a freak. tbh apologetics is just a huge topic that is hard to address just in terms of lewis here. i just have a lot of personal history with the argument "life is so dark and miserable without the gospel as consolation!!!" being told to me CONSTANTLY and it's just like....... is the consolation in the room with us right now. because we are all fucking terrified of having sex, talking to secular people, masturbating, turning to the things of this world, having new experiences in general etc etc etc like where is the consolation we are living in a mental prison of our own design. also who talks about theologians for fun anyway are you insane

3 - the chronicles of narnia are the best popular christian fiction wowww if only we had more like them FALSE. even if you ONLY read the lion the witch and the wardrobe and prince caspian, you are either dumb or have not reread them bc they are FUCKING WEIRD and have AGED POORLY. there are OTHER FAIRY TALES OUT THERE. fucking harry potter for christians ass take (yes a lot of christians dont read harry potter for witchcraft reasons so this is their substitute). and if you have read any of the other books? HELLO????? are we just going to ignore the horse and his boy and the last battle like those are respectively just orientalism distilled and women are whores who can't go to heaven. and YES if you read any other work of fiction by him you will quickly realize he did not like women!!

there is a secret 4th option which is that you like his writing on medieval romance from a popular academic perspective and if thats the case u get a free pass bc yeah he's good at presenting complex topics in an accessible way and i wish he hadn't used that gift for evil.

[only-lonely-lovers]

08.02.2022

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：This thing keeps happening (and has been happening for weeks) where my brain kind of scrundles things and procures me a chronically ill Amane at age like 9-11 being assisted by Tsukasa and i have to catch myself like - ? …. [walk it back] like I don't mean to make an AU, it feels like if i'm not paying attention something goes fuzzy and i'm in some to the left universe. but unlike making an AU it's like i'm just having out of place memories of a different world. but i have to be like wait i think there's some sort of hiccup… something somewhere btwn homura and amane gets made as a result

I'm not like trying to develop a canon or play in a space, it's more like. thoughtlessly recollecting on something. but then being like wait. ……..?

As if I'm reflecting on some childhood memories. tsukasa my guide dog

つ：cute… interesting. It's nice to think about Amane becoming more…. used to, amicable to caretaking, if he were to become stable/healthy ENOUGH to not be in constant almost-dying hell, but still not 100% cured.

as it is he can't appreciate much, due to his sheer burdens, at 4, how much it's hurting. if only homura could lend the nurse fantasy to the old timey boy who can't have a surgery

I think tsukasa would get good at it over time u.u he's so only 4 when we see and he's very impressive at it all, as it is!

あ：It does feel like ah if only we could give amane this binkie… the ah concept of not being like LYING IN BED DYING but rather getting winded at the park and needing tsukasa nearby to help you with cool down times

つ：I always like the idea of a caretaker with that kind of temperament, more competent than you think and yet generally airheaded and absent-minded/distractible. its like how i'm good enough at taking care of bird but i walk into any room and idk waht i was doing. left the room to do something for bird but come back having done 3 other things and then be like AH--!!!! HIS SNACK!!!

あ：i do have faith in tsukasa's capabilities!!!!!!!

it's like i wish to grant tsukasa this experience too wwww like needed so very much like this still… continue fetch questing things always

if amane just had to submit to getting juice brought to him. cuz it's not worth proving a point every time

つ：get good at coming out ahead of a desire become a little princesssy about it all. well but i AM tired. i DONT want to walk more. fine

あ：claps hands In a way, I worry a lot of tsukasa's potential misery in canon will be a sense of… inability to offset burden, not being quantifiably helpful. if amane is healthy now, this new issue presented of, now you're just fail sibling who falls on face and who is causing tension at home. with no future

つ：indeed.. what does tsukasa, do….? for amane? by being here?

あ：it might feel too much like you're just constantly being indulged and basking in glorious amane-times by clinging to him everywhere but not 'giving anything back'

つ：is it even possible to feel so confident in value in circumstances where you are being doubted as even real….. mm it is indulgent for both to think about an ill/reliant amane and a dutiful tsukasa…. the indulgence timeline

あ：It would be indulgence timeline. stablizing out into something… reaping the benefits of being caretaker but amane still being able to live life

[ghostly-rantings]

yea personally as a physically disabled person i actually would 100% get rid of my chronic pain if i was magically able to but i think the idea is fun to play with as well, maybe having a potion that wears off after a certain period of time or making certain healing spells only able to be done by specific powerful mages of incredible skill would be a fun and interesting way to navigate wanting to have disabled rep without making inspiration porn. i also think itd be fun to have one or two characters who Do choose theyd rather just be disabled than 'fix' it with magic like if someone was quadriplegic but theyre an excellent telepath so they use that instead of magically healing themselves.

as a mentally disabled person i think magic would be an especially interesting exploration and something i wish we could see more of other than "theyre actually mediums/prophets/other delusion-inducing trope". like if we could have a psychotic or schizophrenic character who uses illusion magic to make their hallucinations perceptable to others or an autistic person who has a special interest in a specific area of magic like alchemy or something. give me a wizard with an intellectual disability

fantasy is a great way to explore real world topics and issues so incorporating how disabilities can affect your characters in a magical world is actually really cool. magic doesnt mean there cant be difficulties to work through, adding in systemic reasons why disabilities still exist in a world where magic can do anything is also an idea someone could use. maybe you Could magic away your fibromyalgia but doing so is illegal or socially stigmatized so nobody will or even knows how, maybe the resources for that spell is gatekept for those who "really need them" which could be a good mirror to how many disabled people are treated in real life by medical professionals

maybe the magic cant make your disability go away, but it can make it better, easier to live with at least. maybe you still cant walk, but magic brooms work just as well and you dont have to worry about those pesky stairs. maybe you were born without arms, but you dont need those to use incantation magic, so youve mastered that field. maybe you have OCD and use little portals or something to check and make sure that lock IS locked without having to get up to go check, using xray vision to make sure this apple is Not filled with maggots. maybe someone with DID uses transfiguration to change their appearance depending on whos fronting

i find disability in fantasy fascinating and dont think disability rep has to be eugenics or inspiration porn, i think theres a lot we can do with it

Remember y'all, *magic* doesn't negate the existence of disabled people. Eugenics does that. And Lainoff's book, All for One, is incredible and worth a read. It's on my bookshelf!

[lilkittay]

GET BACK

there was a time in my life where i had a very close deep platonic friendship with a person. at times, i felt simply that i wished they were closer by and not far away. i struggled to explain or understand what my feelings for them were, or if they were even reciprocated. they could never replace my partner, my feelings were of a "i would like to be close and share resources but in a platonic way and with separate living spaces but in the same city" to hang out more but not drive anyone crazy.

our friendship for years was stable, they were a rock i could rely on. or so i thought.

i went through a major change in my life, and at the same time my partner also began a major change in their life. different, and our paths were each our own and very different terrain and yet we could support each other side by side.

my friend decided they needed to have their ownl crisis, they decided not only to mimic the change in my life, but to mimic the change in my partners life as well. and to execute these changes simultaneously.

it felt like a lot of things. one up us? special snowflake olympics? not wanting to be left out? reenactments of childhood traumas where our personal struggles represented siblings ordeals. ohh not this time i wont be pushed to the back burner. im gonna be the pan of grease on fire that ruins dinner! psh.

the one thing it never felt was genuine. no matter how much they tried to convince the kitchen sink their struggle was real, it was fabricated and they built a whole fantasy world in their memories to convince themself of its truth. too rushed. too much haste and later searching for reasons, grasping at any threads, and making up stories by tangling that mess together.

sunk cost fallacy. wont give up the one last thing in it all either.

get back to where you once belonged

it felt crazy. it was crazy. they became crazy. crazier and crazier... it had always been and only became more like watching some kind of sad mockery of a mountain of misguided misunderstandings.

their mimicry/mockery of our struggles, always generating a bigger crisis than what we were struggling with, made me feel as though the tears sweat blood and pain of my own journey were meaningless. unseen. every word i shared met only with some personal anecdote, some self-centered blather. i didnt matter at all and they didnt understand what i or my partner were going through, despite bumbling along in our wake...

the damage is done and sorry will never put humpty dumpty back together again

the creature that replaced my friend i hardly recognize. i swear i was once best friends with a real person, not some overthought persona. not some piecemeal shattered psyche.

i don't care about cartoon card games

i stepped back a bit, put in a little distance for a while just to get a clearer view.

apparently in my absence they reached for the nearest human object in orbit and now theyre "dating" theres so much pathetic desperation there and now its my fault some other person is stuck with it.

i haven't had enough time to process this into words to begin to describe the underlying deeper implications of such behavior, or its underpinnings, or how i feel about it. it isnt mentally healthy.

im not happy for them

as usual, this crap always comes when my path in my career life is taking its own turns. When my growth there hinges on me breaking through the few walls made my neurodivergence that i have to dismantle brick by brick to understand the things i just dont get.

never me always thee

because i was given a different instruction book than everyone else but im playing their game

even if i had my old friend back, im not sure they could help me through this. my partner is here for me serving their role and being always my better half so that is as it should be. no complaints there

but i must face this alone. so much of it is going to be laying bare my own flaws and shortcomings to myself, and having them laid out before me by my leaders. flaying raw my ego and emotions. my friend is incapable of true, dedicated support. no insight. no hint any thoughts or fucks are given.

its all mememememe in there. i swear it wasnt always that way... sigh

never time for me. never time for a halfass attempt at it being about me only me. without payment without exchange without forcing on me their needy needs when i am vulnerable and theyre not welcome.

and fuck. will this ever get better. i dont know.

my old friend helped me through a lot of the past few years of my life in invaluable ways.

then their bff irl died and i guess i filled the void. at first i was bittersweetly honored to fill that role. but i never knew what that friends role was.

i dont know what anything is, im just a tourist

sometimes i feel like i think it would do me some good to go camping alone and just get away from everyone. take my bike, and my tent. hug my partner and say feed the cats and ill text you odten so you dont worry. and just go be alone with myself.

and remember what it was like.

and find out if i still like being alone with me

get back to where i once belonged

it used to feel like talking to my friend was like i could let them inside my head and show them the carnival in there and they could share that space and see me but now i wonder did they ever see anything at all?

no.

this time im owning my crisis. nobody is going to steal it. nobody is going to copy it. nobody is going to yell louder through it and invalidate my existence.

help me dont trump me

get back.

[ackerpreach]

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship 

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could.  She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared. 

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN) 

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her???  He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.    

Like seriously??? What is this??? 

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for. 

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa. 

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that?  Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way.  Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO!  All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this. 

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women 

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way. 

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy. 

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR. 

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that??? 

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below.  I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and  it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place...  It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga. 

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he  got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby 

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all  got thrown out of the window... 

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’) 

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to.  I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana​ and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative. 

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

[azucanela]

SKIN DEEP DECEPTION 

PAIRING: TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER [SOULMATE AU]

SUMMARY: In a world where the number of lies your soulmate tells each day is written in your wrist, Y/N has found that her soulmate has two moods. No lies, or dozens at a time. 

WARNINGS:​ CURSE WORDS (WH*RE). ANGST. MILD VIOLENCE. 

WORD COUNT: 4K.

A/N: happy anniversary? marriage? engagement? @bbykutos​​ <3 this is my first time writing an au so pls lmk how i did and uhhh idk i feel like this is bad

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

IN A WORLD FILLED WITH LIES only one person knew when you were really telling the truth. That person being your soulmate. Though it’s not always a lover, that tended to be the most common occurrence when it came to soulmates. The whole point of soulmates had been to have someone perfect for you, though this wasn’t always the case of course. 

Growing up, Y/N had always viewed soulmates as a false ideal, a distant fantasy, though the number on her wrist was confirmation enough that soulmates existed— that didn’t mean they were truly meant to be. 

She’d learnt that the hard way. 

At times, kids would find their soulmates in their first year of school; which normally went either really well or really poorly. Others in high school, college, some mundane moment at a coffee shop or a more dramatic one at one of the biggest moments of their lives. Sometimes it was romantic, other times it was chaotic, or just plain dull. Most of the times finding your soulmate meant catching them in the midst of a lie... several times. Sometimes people found love, an enemy, or... they just found their soulmate.

Y/N wasn’t the only person who’d become rather apathetic towards the whole idea, though there was no denying the small part of her— in the back of her mind, the part she’d tried so hard to bury— that hoped, that wished, that dreamed of a soulmate who cared for her. 

And yet, even her own parents were an example of this false ideal. 

Not that it mattered, seeing as she was yet to meet her soulmate. There was no reason to dwell on it, that had become abundantly clear to Y/N, and yet here she was, allowing her mind to wander as she stared— maybe even glared— at her wrist in class. 

“I need to use the restroom.” 

The word’s pull her out of her daze, eyes rising back up to the board where her teacher stands— smile on her face as she replies, “of course! Go on ahead.” Y/N’s eyes trail over to the student in question, the blonde boy seated beside her, Tsukishima Kei. She was familiar with him seeing as they’d gone to the same middle school. He also happened to be the class’ star pupil due to his stellar intellect.

With a frown, Y/N exhales deeply and looks back down only to come face to face with the number on her wrist having increased by one.

1 lie so far today, huh. 

Most days Y/N had found that the lies didn’t start piling up until the afternoon, other times there were slim to none, and assuming they were in high school as well— what were they lying about. It truly left her baffled at what in the world they could be saying. Aside from this curiosity, the thought of her soulmate returned to the back of her mind as a hand tapped her shoulder, drawing her out of her thoughts once more.  

A green haired boy stands beside her— she recognizes him, Yamaguchi Tadashi. They’d been friends in middle school and remained so when they’d entered high school, though they weren’t as close as they used to be, Yamaguchi had tried and failed to keep it that way. 

The bitter memories resurface, though Y/N simply pushes them to the back of her mind alongside all the over thoughts she doesn’t want to address as she turns to Yamaguchi with a smile, “hey Yamaguchi, what’s up?��

He offers her a nervous smile, eyes flickering across the room before returning to her before he replies, “I was wondering if you wanted to be in my group?”

Tilting her head at him, a small laugh escapes Y/N as she asks, “group?”

For a moment Yamaguchi’s brows furrow, though his eyes drift towards her single rolled up sleeve, the number one displayed on it, “oh! We have a group project for the next few weeks.” Comes his response.

“Project...” Y/N mumbles out, eyes scanning the room as she watches people enter clusters of three, talking and writing things down in their journal— even exchanging numbers. “Right.”

She had a feeling that Tsukishima’s sunny disposition hadn’t done them any favors when it came to getting other members to join their group projects. Coupled with Yamaguchi’s need to end all conflict between his friends.

That must be how they ended up here. 

Opening her mouth to speak, Y/N quickly shut it as she searched for the right words, bringing an arm to the back of her neck as she scratched it awkwardly. “I just don’t know if that would be the best idea—”

“If what would be the best idea?” Behind Yamaguchi comes Tsukishima, hands shoved into his pockets as he looks between them.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Y/N looks away, brows furrowing as memories begin to surface. Seeing as the last time they’d interacted, Tsukishima had elected to use some... crude words. Well, Y/N had expected awkwardness when they inevitably spoke to each other once more, and the fact that he seemed to unfazed left her wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.

Preferably in a violent way.

Yamaguchi seems to answer for her as he replies, “well I was thinking since we need groups of three, Y/N would just join us.” Yamaguchi looks between the pair before saying, “like old times.”

Y/N wants to gag.

Moving to stand, she offers Yamaguchi a tight lipped smile, “I’ll probably join a different group but—”

“There are no other groups.” Tsukishima interrupts, though there’s no emotion in his words, as though he’s simply stating a fact. Because clearly, he doesn’t care. 

Inhaling deeply, Y/N nods slowly, looking between the both of them before saying, “well you both have my number.” The bell rings, and Y/N can’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she continues, “text me about the project whenever.” Before immediately grabbing her bag from beside her desk and swinging it over her shoulder.

Tsukishima is watching as she leaves, a sigh escaping him as he adjusts his glasses before turning to Yamaguchi, “you’ll need to make a group chat.” 

“Why?” He asks, brows furrowing as he pulls at his phone to do so regardless, fingers typing away at the screen.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Tsukishima shrugs, “she has me blocked.”

Yamaguchi pauses his typing, sighing. Though he doesn’t look up at Tsukishima as he replies, “Of course she does— well I would too.” Yamaguchi exhales deeply, “you should apologize to her.” 

It had always been a touchy subject in their friendship, the way that Tsukishima had elected to end— more accurately, ruin — his friendship with Y/N. Though Yamaguchi wasn’t there to hear what he’d said himself, he’d heard it had been pretty bad from others. After all, Tsukishima had received his first, second and third punch to the face that day.

It was deserved. 

“Yeah.” Comes his reply, shoving his hands back into his pockets. 

In an attempt to combat the uncomfortable silence between them, Yamaguchi asks, “so where’d you go?” 

A smirk breaks out on Tsukishima’s face, “not the bathroom that’s for sure.”

THE NEXT TIME TSUKISHIMA KEI TEXTS Y/N, the message actually goes through. For some reason he can’t bring himself to delete the ones that came before, the apologies from a year prior followed by his messages of realization that she had blocked him. 

Maybe it was the fact that his pride had taken a blow or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t want to know if he was forgivable, Tsukishima had never made any attempts to apologize fact to face. 

Actually, that’s a lie, he had. But he had chickened out last minute, the panic flooding his veins as he was faced with a situation almost identical to the one that had gotten him into the mess. Seeing her alongside the very person who had punched him in the face that day— well, the first person who had that is— a broad smile on her face.

And who was he to ruin that. Did he even want to know what she’d say? Would she call him ridiculous, a fool for even thinking an apology could mend anything between him?

Would hearing her voice one more time, even if it was just riddled with insults, be enough for closure? He’d done this to himself Tsukishima was well aware but that didn’t make him any less upset at the fact that he’d lost his best friend. 

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those memories as he stares at the message, a simple:

hey, it’s tsukishima. 

He was fairly sure that not only had he been blocked he had also had his number deleted, so starting with an introduction seemed right.

we’re meeting at my house tmrw after school. yamaguchi and i have volleyball practice, you can wait for us at the gym or just head over to my house i dont care. 

There are so many implications to the message and they all leave Y/N’s head spinning, or maybe she was reading into it. She wasn’t sure at this point, but it was clear that Tsukishima was well aware that she still had the key to his front door. 

Y/N elected to show up to volleyball practice rather than face his mother alone.

Stepping into the gym, the sound of shows scrapping against the floor, and volleyballs hitting the ground at an almost rapid pace as people moved around the courts just as quickly.

Y/N scrunches up her nose as she’s hit with the smell of sweat, something to be expected in a gym of course, lips pressing together into a straight line as she steps further into the gym and looks to her left. There stands another girl, albeit slightly intimidating but she looked far more approachable than the other people around the gym 

“Excuse me?” 

She turns, brows furrowing slightly at the sight of Y/N before offering her a smile and asking, “hey. How can I help you?”

Smiling back— albeit awkwardly— Y/N replies, “I’m waiting for someone,” Y/N quickly realizes that isn’t much information as she adds, “someone in this club. Actually, two people— that’s beside the point. Is there anywhere I can just sit, until the end?”

Once more her brows furrow, “our practices tend to go on pretty long, especially since some of the boys like extra work and we have a few practice games coming up.” Shaking her head slightly, the girl gestures to the bench beside her, “you can sit here with me, I’m Kiyoko by the way.”

“So who are you waiting for?”

“Oh, uh... Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

Y/N finds herself coming by the gym more often after that day, although it isn’t because she has to walk back to Tsukishima’s house after with him and Yamaguchi, it’s because she finds herself enjoying Kiyoko’s presence. She’s a quiet girl, but she’s rather witty behind the scenes, and certainly and entertaining and fun person. And so were the other boys in the club.

They’d quickly become intrigued by the presence of another girl and—

“Another female manager? Nice!”

“Another manager? Why?”

“Kiyoko are you leaving us!?”

Okay so maybe Y/N had inadvertently joined the Boy’s Volleyball Club, but she really had nothing better to do with her time, much less with all the time she had between school and when the practice ended, allowing Tsukishima to go home with Yamaguchi and Y/N. But it’s not like it wouldn’t be over soon, right? The groups would only last two weeks and then Y/N would be free of her old— or more accurately, ex-friend.

Wrong, the groups became permanent. For the rest of year the students have to use them, for every single group project. Leaving Y/N to dread the class each time she entered due to the burning anticipation of a possible group project. Though Yamaguchi had made several attempts to approach Y/N since their last project ended just a few weeks prior, going as far as ditching Tsukishima entirely to sit with her at lunch some days.

Y/N entertained him, it’s not like she wanted to be rude or anything— not to Yamaguchi that is, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t been the one to randomly explode and call her a variety of... colorful words upon finding her with a friend last year. 

Neither Y/N nor Yamaguchi bring it up of course, how Tsukishima had driven her away with his crude words that she never expected would ever be directed towards her. 

But...

“We’ll be having another group project for the next two weeks!”

The conversation was inevitable. 

Y/N nearly rams her head into her desk as she sighs, eyes drifting upwards towards the ceiling as though that would solve any of her current problems, before looking back to Tsukishima with a rather sarcastic smile that he returns with one of his own. Yamaguchi on the other hand, is waving rather enthusiastically from his seat in the classroom, beaming. 

It’s not like it was a bad group. They got things done, and when grades were returned, they were good. It’s just that Tsukishima was... Tsukishima. And as annoying and rude as he was, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more annoyed with herself because she still couldn’t find it in herself to hate him. 

Backpack slung over her shoulder, Y/N exhales deeply as she looks back at Yamaguchi who remains at his porch, “make sure she gets home safe, Tsukki!”

“That’s really not necessary, Yams.” She assures, giving him a pointed look when Tsukishima turns around with a disinterested shrug. But of course. the boy waves her off, simply shoving her forwards with Tsukki, offering her a thumbs up and a smile. 

Y/N simply turns around and follows Tsukishima with a scowl, quickly moving ahead of him as she tugs her backpack strap tighter onto her shoulder. 

Tsukishima is rolling his eyes as she moves ahead of him, “how am I supposed to stop you from getting kidnapped when you’re a mile ahead of me?” He calls out to her, maintaining his pace. Y/N doesn’t reply, continuing on ahead, “Y/N.” He repeats, “Y/N.” Once more, she ignores him, until she hears his steps pick up behind her, a hand wrapping around her wrist and stopping her movements. 

“Yes Kei?” She exclaims in annoyance, turning back to him. Only for her mouth to gape open as she grimaces, “Tsukishima. I mean.”

He exhales deeply, looking away momentarily before saying, “I’m sorry.”

So, Y/N laughs. “Wow. Tsukishima Kei swallowing his pride to apologize? Impressive.” Tsukishima opens his mouth to reply, only for Y/N to speak first and say, “I hate you.” Before tearing her arm out of his grasp and stepping ahead once more.

Y/N isn’t looking at him as he replies, “no you don’t.”

And Tsukishima would’ve believed had he not looked to his wrist, the number rising with each insult Y/N spewed. Though there was no denying that he deserved it, but that didn’t stop the grimace that came on his face before he asked, “you done?”

WHEN TSUKISHIMA FOUND OUT Y/N WAS HIS SOULMATE, it did not end well. He wasn’t really sure if he had a plan that day, but if he did it went out the window once he saw her with one of her friends from another school. Though Tsukishima had never met the boy in question, it didn’t take long for him to realize that Y/N liked him, whether that was platonic or not it didn’t matter. Because watching her laugh along with him in the convenience store only served as a reminder that there were people better than him.

Tsukishima had never considered himself insecure per se, much less an over thinker or anything of the sort. But the simple fact of the matter was, Y/N didn’t want him, she was stuck with him as his soulmate. 

And though she was blissfully unaware of this fact, why did that need to change? 

Perhaps she could be happier with that boy, with anyone other than him. Tsukishima had known Y/N for years and though he would never admit it, he respected her, he cared for her, long before he’d discovered they were soulmates. And prior to his discovery he’d always found the system idiotic, so why did his mindset have to change?

It was a bitter ideology, and a jealous and foolish reaction that put him in the place he’s in today. Though Tsukishima was fairly sure it only proved his point, that she deserved better, that didn’t make him any more remorseful of their friendship.

He’d nearly told her several times, like the blunt and straightforward person he is, Tsukishima had almost stopped her in the halls of school and simply said— “surprise! We’re soulmates. Sorry about calling you a whore and all, I was just jealous and bitter because I realized there are people out there better for you and somehow you got stuck with me!”

Yeah, that would’ve blown over real well. Tsukishima was fairly sure he would’ve received an addition hit to the face from her and Yamaguchi, again. 

Yamaguchi was not happy when he found out about the convenience store incident. At all. 

Tsukishima couldn’t recount many times when he was scared of Yamaguchi Tadashi, until his fist was flying towards his face. Of course, he laughed it off, wiping the blood from his nose, but that didn’t make it a fun experience by any means. 

Now, Tsukishima was just trying to amend things, slightly. It’s not like Y/N owed him any of her time, and it’s not like she needed to know that they were soulmates.

It would be better off that way for the both of them, or at least, that’s what Tsukishima told himself— much to Yamaguchi’s dismay. The boy had been urging Tsukishima to just tell her the truth, for a while now, to no avail. And when Tsukishima returned to class one day having discovered he would be in a group with her and Yamaguchi, well he couldn’t help but thing Yamaguchi was scheming. 

But looking up to Yamaguchi and Y/N, who are seated at the table of some café Y/N had insisted on coming to, Tsukishima can’t help but think it was worth it.

No, she didn’t need to know. 

And so, against her better judgement, Y/N had allowed things to return to normal. The same weekly hangouts they once had becoming daily because of volleyball practice each day, forcing Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Y/N together for even longer periods of time. Walks homes becoming progressively longer as they all speak amongst themselves— or more accurately, Y/N and Yamaguchi speak. Then again, Tsukishima had always been more of the quiet kind unless he had something witty to add on.

This revival of friendship meant the return of the late night calls as well, of course. Albeit, most of them filled with a comfortable silence that Y/N finds herself relishing in a she lays in bed, eyes glued to the time shining in the corner of her phone screen.

11:52PM.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N rolls over on her bed, tugging at her sleeve to pull it down and reveal the counter on her wrist. There have been a few lies today, though there hadn’t been any in the past few hours. In recent months the number had been fluctuating more which Y/N found... odd. 

Tsukishima seems to notice her shift in mood, though he doesn’t look up from his work as he asks, “what is it?” When Y/N doesn’t respond, he simply repeats himself, asking, “what’s wrong?

Y/N’s brows furrow as she huffs, bringing her arm back down and pushing herself up on her bed using her elbows before replying, “what do you mean?”

“The dramatic sigh.” Comes his reply, eyes still glued to the page in front of him as the sound of his pen moving against the paper fills his room.

Y/N looks to him on the screen incredulously as she scoffs, “it was not a dramatic sigh.”

A pause on his part as he looks down before replying, “I don’t even think you believe that Y/N.” He responds, rolling his eyes before adjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose. 

Sometimes Y/N wondered how he’d always been able to do that, read her like a book. Was she truly that predictable? Grimacing, Y/N brushes away the thought, “nothing is wrong?” Her response sounds more like a question, leaving her cringing at her inability to lie.

Tsukishima raises a brow as he dryly responds, “that was convincing.”

Y/N just sighs again, eyes drifting to her wrist once more— the counter now reset to zero as the day starts anew— as she pauses, wondering if the conversation would be worth it. 

“Do you ever think of you soulmate, Tsukishima?”

His pen stops, and if Y/N was looking at the screen rather than her wrist, she would’ve seen the way he straightened in his seat as he replied, “no. I don’t.” He clears his throat, “no point in dwelling on someone I haven’t even met yet.”

Maybe Y/N would’ve replied had the counter not ticked up to 2 as he spoke. 

But it was a coincidence. It had to be a coincidence. 

“So... you haven’t met your soulmate yet?

Another moment of silence before he replies, “no.” With a sigh.

3.

Y/N brings a hand to clasp over her mouth, “you’re kidding me.” A bitter laugh escapes her, “you’re fucking kidding me.” Y/N finds herself inhaling deeply as she attempts to calm herself. “How long have you known?”

Y/N WAS AVOIDING HIM, not that he didn’t deserve it, again. But that didn’t make it any better. Tsukishima found himself frowning as he stared at his eyes pierced into the back of her head, and for the first time he found himself hoping for a group project.

What a change in events. 

Tsukishima was honestly more worried about what Yamaguchi would say once he found out that he and Y/N were fighting again but... that was something to worry about for another time.

“We’ll be having a group project once more today! If you haven’t realized already, this class is oriented around the idea of building you collaborative and social skills.”

Okay, maybe not another time.

Tsukishima can practically hear Y/N’s head fall against her desk, his eyes drifting back to her as the teacher drones on about the requirements of this assignment and how they’ll pick up the rubric once class ends and they can further review it tomorrow. 

Probably because the bell rings almost immediately after. 

Y/N has already shot up from her seat, tugging her back over her shoulder as she beelines for the exit of the class. And for once, Tsukishima finds himself making an effort to keep up with her as he calls out her name, “Y/N, stop.”

This seems to garner Yamaguchi’s attention, who jogs to keep up with the pair as they all exit the classroom, “guys? What’s going on?”

“Everything is fine, Yamaguchi!” Comes Y/N’s response from ahead of them, waving him off. 

Yamaguchi’s brows furrow as he grabs Tsukishima’s wrist only to see that the counter has risen, causing him to look up at Tsukishima when he finally yanks his wrist away. “What did you do?”

Tsukishima looks to him incredulously, “what makes you think I did something?”

Yamaguchi looks to him blankly as he replies, “well Y/N isn’t chasing you through the halls, is she?” He rolls his eyes, jogging to get ahead of the both of them and block their path as he looked to them with furrowed brows, “what is going on guys?”

“Not now, Tadashi, please—”

“Tadashi?”

The group pauses in the empty hallway, most of the other students having left now that the day had ended, and the sound of Tsukishima’s voice is unlike anything Y/N has heard before as she sighs. 

“I wish you had told me, Tsukishima.” Is all she mumbles out, before dragging a hand through her hair and pushing past the both of them, turning the corner of the hall and leaving them alone there.

A/N: gasp :0 yamaguchi? 

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[juviaafullbuster]

Can you do 12 for the story list? We never see Juvia ever express how she feels when she's sad. Maybe Gray talks to her about it. Also I really like your blog!

Heyy Anon! Thank you, I'm really glad you do! Also thank you so much for the request. I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind, but I hope you like it 💙

Angst - Prompt 12:

"Holding everything in doesn't help, you know."

When Gray first voiced his concern, his friends gave him a questioning look. To them Juvia wasn't any different than usual. She still had her sweet smile on, she still greeted everyone warmly, still clinged to Gray every time she saw him. Same old Juvia.

But Gray knew better. They did live together for six months after all. And he had learned quite some things about her during that time. One being that Juvia tends to keep a lot to herself. It might surprise people because she seems so open with her emotions, especially the ones regarding him, but she tends to keep a lot to herself. Crazy woman, always worrying about being a burden.

Gray stole a glance at her. She was seated with Cana and Lisanna, listening closely to whatever the two were saying. She wasn't engaging in the conversation, just listening and nodding along sometimes. She was smiling. To anyone else it would seem that she was content. But not to Gray.

No, he could see the way her shoulders were tense. How she kept stealing glances towards the clock. How her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. There was a distant look hidden behind her facade. Something was definitely off. And whatever it was, Gray was determined to find out. Because it is Juvia, his Juvia. The one who always looks out for him and makes sure he's alright. And he'll be damned if he doesn't do the same.

***

Later that evening Gray made his way over to Fairy Hills. He knew boys weren't allowed and Erza would surely kill him if she spotted him there but he would have to deal with that when it came to it. For now, his focus was on the water mage that had left the guild hall without telling him goodbye earlier. Yeah, something was definetly wrong. And he was about to find out what it was.

Gray glanced up to the window Juvia had pointed to once. She had told him that it was hers in case he wanted to sneak in. Back then he had just told her she was being crazy. And now look at him, he was doing exactly that. Who is the crazy one now?

Shaking the thought away, Gray focused back on his task. He used his ice magic to form a ladder and climbed up in hope that Juvia left the window open. When he arrived upstairs he had to learn that she didnt. He knocked on the window a few times, hoping to gain her attention. After his fourth knock, Juvia finally came out of the other room, a questioning look on her face. When she spotted him however she froze before breaking out in a huge smile. At least he had accomplished one thing. She came over and opened the window gesturing for him to come in.

"Graysama, what are you doing here? Not that Juvia minds but it is very unlike you to climb into a womans room during the late evening.." He could tell her fantasy was already running wild and he let her imagination run for a little before shaking her out of her trance.

"Alright, spill it."

"Spill what?"

"What's wrong?"

"Juvia is afraid she doesn't know what you mean."

"I mean, what's wrong with you?"

Juvia looked taken aback for a moment before tears started forming in her eyes. "Nothing is wrong with Juvia.. Why would you ask that? Do you think there is something wrong?"

Shit. That was not what he meant. How could he be so bad with words?

"No, Juvia. I didn't.. I didn't mean it like that. Don't take it the wrong way, nothing's wrong with you. I just had a feeling something's off, you've been acting different.. you didn't spend much time around me today."

"Does Graysama feel neglected?"

"WHAT!? What are you talking about. That's not it at all."

"Oh.. Then what is it?"

"Juvia, I like to think that I know you very well by now. And something's definitely going on with you. First I thought I was just being crazy, everyone else said you were being your usual self. But I've been watching you closely and I can tell that you're not like usual. Something must be bothering you."

"Graysama was watching Juvia?" She was looking at him with big eyes, a slight flush on her cheeks.

"No! I mean yes, but- it's not like you think.."

"Juvia understands. You watched her because you were worried about her."

"Exactly."

"Graysama is so sweet, worrying about Juvia." She pretty much had hearts in her eyes at this point and Gray found himself blushing. He turned around, awkwardly scratching his neck. This conversation wasn't going anywhere..  and then he realized.

This conversation wasn't going anywhere for a reason. She was trying to avoid the issue by getting him flustered and drifting off topic. And he almost fell for it.

"Alright, sit down."

"So bossy.."

"I'm serious Juvia. We need to talk. Stop trying to distract me and be honest. What is it, what's going on?"

He stared at her waiting for a response. Juvia tried to hold his stare but he was determined. It took only a few seconds for her to give up and look away, staring anywhere but at him.

Her shoulders dropped in defeat and the mask she had on fell. When she looked at him again, she was frowning, a sad and distant look in her eyes. Seeing her like that, it broke her heart.

"Juvia.. what's wrong?" Gray sat down next to her. It was an unusual sight, seeing Juvia like that.

"It's nothing.. Really, it's sweet of you to worry but Juvia is fine."

"Seriously? Juvia you're obviously not fine so don't pretend to be. I'm not leaving until I know what's wrong. So you either talk now or I'll be spending the night."

"Graysama wants to spend the night with Juvia?" She smirked, looking at him with a gleam in her eyes. Gray felt his cheeks warning up and he looked away.

"Nice try. But don't try to drift off topic."

"Really, Graysama, Juvia is fine. She's just a little tired that's all."

"Listen, I understand. I know what it's like to not want to burden others with your issues. Trying to keep everything to yourself, acting like you're fine when you're not. When my parents died, when I lost Ur. When I found out the truth about what happened to Ultear, when I lost my dad again. I've been there. I shut myself off, tried to carry it all myself. And do you know where it got me? I turned cold, distant. It damaged my friendships. I was a mess Juvia.."

She was listening closely. Gray watched a tear roll down her check. He wiped it away before giving her a small smile.

"I dont have to tell you all that, do I? Because you were there when I finally broke down. While we were living together. When I couldn't hold back anymore, when the nightmares became too much. You were the one who held me and told me that it will be okay eventually. The one who listened to me. Do you remember what you told me that day?"

Juvia looked down, confirming that she indeed still remembered. But he was going to remind her of her words anyway. He put his hands on her cheeks, tilting her head up and making her look at him.

"Holding everything in doesn't help, you know."

It was what it took for Juvia to finally let go. She broke down, crying her heart out while clinging to him desperately. Gray held her close, stroking her back in an attempt to comfort her. Slowly her sobs became quieter until they died down completely. She still clung to him and didn't make any indication of letting go anytime soon. Gray just continued holding her, wishing to shield her from all the pain in the world.

"Juvia is sorry.."

Gray stopped her before she could continue. "Don't be. It's okay to not be okay. Stupid trying to hold everything in. I'm here for you Juvia, whenever you need me. Don't carry everything by yourself. Okay?"

She looked up to him before nodding her head in agreement. He smiled at her softly and she laid her head back on his shoulder. He saw that there were still some tears rolling down her cheeks but at least she seemed calmer, a little more relaxed. Gray held her closer, an attempt to tell her that he's here for her. He always was better with actions than words.

"Thank you Graysama."

"Don't thank me. I didn't do anything.."

"You did a lot."

They sat in silence, enjoying each others presence and comfort. Gray wouldn't admit it loudly, but he needed this just as much as Juvia.

"Hey, Juvi."

"Hm?"

"Want to tell me what happened?"

There was a moment of silence before Juvia moved away from him, freeing herself from his hold, in order to look at him. Gray had to admit that he missed her warmth immediately.

"Juvia will tell you, but.."

"But?"

"But only if you stay with her after too.. everytime I think about what happened nightmares follow so Juvia can't sleep."

"That explains why you appeared so tired. How long has this been going on?"

"Two weeks. Since the last mission I took."

"Juvia, what happened on that mission?"

"You're staying with me?"

"Of course. I'm not planning to leave your side anytime soon."

"So Graysama is spending the night with Juvia?"

"You want Erza to behead me?"

"Juvia would never let anyone hurt you. When it comes to protecting you not even Erza can stand in my way."

"Well, in that case.. I guess there's no reason for me not to stay."

Gray laid down on her bed and pulled her down with him. She rested her head on his chest, while he wrapped his arms around her protectively, pulling her closer to him. He heard her sigh, prompting him to tighten his arms around her. They both stayed silent for a moment, enjoying each others presence and the peace before Juvia took a deep breath and started telling Gray about the mission that she had finished two weeks ago. He listened closely while rubbing her back comfortingly. It wasn't long until the tears were rolling down her cheeks again. Turns out her mission wasn't as successful as Master had first told them. Yes, Juvia did finish the job, but there were some complications she hadn't told anyone about until now.

Juvias job wasn't a hard one, she was just supposed to hold a water show at a little girls birthday party. The girls father however was late. He should have been there an hour ago and they were still waiting. They decided to start without him, despite the girls protest. Turns out her father was her only family. Just a little later however random people came to the house, talking about an accident. By the time the news registered, Juvia was already holding on to the little girl, a desperate attempt to shield her from the world, the pain.

"Gray, she was shaking so bad and then she broke down because she realized what happened. And all that on her birthday. And I was there. I was there Gray. I could have went to look for him after he was late. I could have found him. And maybe it wouldn't have been too late the. If I had-" Juvia didn't manage to finish her sentence. Instead she clinged to him desperately, sobbing into his chest.

"She has noone now. Just another kid, left to the system. Juvia was there. Juvia knows what it's like. If only I would have-"

"Juvia, don't."

"But-"

"No, Juvia. Don't you dare blame yourself for this. None of this is your fault. You couldn't have known. It was an accident. Besides, if anything they're lucky you were there. At least the girl had someone to hold her, she wasn't alone."

"But she-"

"It won't be easy, but she'll be okay eventually. You can't blame yourself for this Juvia."

Juvia seemed to think over his words, before sighing. She still seemed conflicted but he could tell that some weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Gray pulled her closer to him and kissed her head.

"If you want we can go check up on her together? And make sure shes treated well at the orphanage until she finds a good family."

"You'd really do that?"

"Of course, if you allow me to come with you."

"Juvia would love that."

"Alright, then it's settled. Now try to rest."

"You promise to still be here when Juvia wakes up?"

"Not even Erza herself can make me leave your side tonight."

She giggled and Gray couldn't help the small smile. It would take some time for her to deal with this and recover. But she would be fine because this is his Juvia, the strongest girl out there. And he'd stay with her until she does.

"Graysama?"

"Yes?"

"Did you remove the ladder you climbed up with?"

There was a moment of silence before realization hit him. Gray sprinted to the window, ready to break the ice, only to find that he was too late because standing next to it was no other than Erza herself.

"GRAY FULLBUSTER, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

[killthe-illusionarydreams]

Ashes To Ashes

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Request: ‘Please could you write a Fred Weasley imagine where you’re inside the burrow when Bellatrix sets it on fire and Fred runs in to get you out?? Thank you, I’m really loving you writing!’ For anonymous

Ps- i havent read the books or seen the movies in a while so I kinda went w the time it was fleur & bills wedding & intergrated it w that, sorry if its not what u wanted but I did write Bellatrix’s attack in x

————

Today was the big day. For today was the the day where Fleur & Bill were finally to be wed. For their celebration to erase war from anyones thoughts, today they were just two kids in love, not undercover Order Workers. Today they were simply girl & boy.

“Oi Y/N hurry up, Fleur’s asking for you” Ginny shouts practically breathless as she runs past your room, trying to find Hermione for the bride.

You pick up the gorgeous bouqet that earlier today you picked up from the florist for the woman and made your way downstairs into the living room. As you take a closer look, you notice something is off. Fleur was standing rigidly still, looking in the mirror unblinking.

“Fleur, darling, are you alright?”

The woman remained silent, Y/N had no idea what to do, she’d never seen her friend so paniced, so immobile. Ever since Y/N’s sixth year (after the Triwizard Tournament) the two kept in contact, maintaining a solid friendship with the other, who wouldve known that years later Fleur would join the family that you had already been apart of.

“Its okay to be nervous.” You sit beside the Frenchwoman “Just talk through it” grabbing her hand you pull her down to sit beside you.

“It’z all so scary Y/N. I love Bill, I really do, but what if he realises he doesnt feel the same about me and leaves me there?” She faces you, eyes glossed over

That caused you to frowm slightly “Bill loves you more than he loves life itself Fleaur, everybody knows that he’d do anything for you just to see you happy- not many can say that they have a person like that.” You smile lightly, thinking about your person. “You constantly say how much you love him, so if you stil feel that for him, theres no need to be scared of getting married-These are the normal pre wedding doubts, none of them are true. Besides, I’m sure if Bill tried to run away from such a gorgeous and talented person as you, Molly would raise havoc and go to the ends of the earth to get him back.”

Fleur looks up at you, smiling, but with stray tears going down her face “Thank you Y/N” she throws herself forward and hugs you “It’s just a big step & I’ve been so emotional lately because of-“ she hesitates

A look of realisation dawns on you and you beam, hugging her once more but tighter “You’re joking? Congratulations!” You give her a peck on the cheek “Does Bill know?” You queried as she shook her head

“Non, I only confirmed it a week ago. Please dont tell anyone Y/N.” She looks at you with pleading eyes and you vigorously nod

“Of course. I wont say a thing, this is your secret. But how about we start getting ready for your wedding hmm.”

As Y/N started to do Fleurs makeup, Hermione rushed in with the wedding dress that her and Molly had been making final adjustments to, Ginny was running around frantically trying to get all the guests in the right places and seats. Once commisioning your help to shout at a group of loiterers to leave the premises because they wouldnt listen to the red head girl. All in all, after many hours, Fleaur was ready.

“You look gorgeous.” Gabrielle beamed at her sister

“Stunning.”

“Ethereal.”

“I might just steal you from Bill” you wink and cause her to laugh and blow you a kiss “I’ll go get everyone ready, you still have plenty of time to relax.” Handing Gabrielle the bouqet, you rush out of the room, which proved to be quite difficult in heels. But bearing through the pain, you get outside and see rows and rows of the fragile golden chairs set on either side of the long purple carpet. The supporting poles to the gazeebo top were entwined with gorgeous white and gold flowers. As you look to where there was supposed to be an enormous bunch of balloons, you frown to see it bare.

“George!” You shout getting his attention “Wheres Fred? You were supposed to the balloons up ages-“ you feel strong arms pick you up and spin you around, making you let out a shriek of surprise, thankfully not loud enough to get the attention of the others

“I’m here my love, disposable at your command.” He purrs into your ear, sending chills down your spine

“Put me down asshole” you laugh and turn to face him, before you could manage to say anything you were taken aback at how he looked. “You got a haircut.” You stated plainly and ran a hand through his hair as he put his arms around your waist.

“Correction, George cut my hair when I wasnt paying attention so ‘people would be able to tell the difference between us’” he wrinkled his nose

You stare at him, dumbstruck “As if the hole on the side of his head wasnt enough.” Fred laughs and says thats what he said “I like it, it suits you.”

Fred grins and kisses you, “Lets face it Y/N you like anything when its to do with me.”

You roll your eyes and hum in agreement “Thats because I love you Fred. But I will seriously consider breaking up with you if you dont get the balloons up as you promised.”

Fred gives you a small peck & jumps back from you “I’m on it!” and runs over towards his brother to finally do what he had to. You smile at him, reminiscing at how you managed to fall in love with such an idiotic man, yet you could never wish for more. Fred Weasley was truly perfect.

Shaking your head you turn back to the guests that were not where they were supposed to be before shouting “Get to your seats and away from the food please! Thats for after the ceremony!” You swat their hands before adding “If you dont know where youre supposed to be, go to Hermione and Molly, they will tell you.” You motion to the pair before walking around to make last minute adjustments.

The wedding ceremony went beautifully, Fleur was walked down with her bridesmaids: Gabrielle & Ginny. When in sight, she rendered everyone breathless, she was ethereal, the most gorgeous a person could possibly look. Molly teared up from the get go at the sight of her eldest marrying, many more joined in when they said their vows. You could not believe that the day of your friends wedding had finally arrived. Throughout the entire sitting down portion of the ceremony, Fred was holding your hand and rubbing circles on it, an assurance that through everything you went through- you were still together- still alive.

*

The loud music was ringing through the field, dancing bodies surrounded you, but you paid them no mind, your main focus on Fred.

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look Y/N?”

You laugh lightly as you sway to the beat “No, I must’ve missed it the other ten times you said it”

“Well you do, absolutely bewitching, are you sure you didnt use a love poition on me? I never knew feeling this was possible.” He jokes as he spins you

“Must be my natural charm and charisma that got you so captured Fred.”

“Must be.” He mutters softly looking into your eyes. Fred was completely besotted by you, more than anyone had ever seen him be, he just knew that Y/N was perfect. The way that she’d light up any room she walked in, the way that she’d never back down from a challenge, and just simply how she made him feel. Dear Merlin he loved the girl. “After this do you fancy going away for a bit?”

You look at him sceptically “Planning out your murderous fantasies are we?”

He laughs and shakes his head “You’re impossible. No, since the shops closed I thought we could go away somewhere before everything with the war kicks off, I want as much time with you as I can get.”

“Oh” you forgot that the wizarding world was on the brink of war “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But if you sneak George along i swear to Merlin I will live through my murderous fantasy & kill the pair of you.”

Fred chuckles again, before nodding “Promise, no George. I think he got an eyefull when he barged into our room without knocking.”

“Serves him right.” You mumble “I told him on multiple occasions to knock.”

The rest of the song died down and you stayed in Freds arms for a moment, before he was being wisked away to dance with Aunt Muriel, he held an awfully sour look as you giggled when she hounded on him to straighten his back, then saying that he was too tall.

“I’m a bit cold, I’ll go get a jacket then I’ll be right back” Y/N kissed his cheek & left to get back inside the burrow. Thinking nothing of it, she poured herself another drink, smiling to herself at how Fred would have to have another dance with Muriel. What an awful woman.

Unbeknown to the girl, a silver patronus intruded on the celebration to announce grave news. “The Ministary has fallen. The Minister of magic is dead. They are coming. They are coming.” Everyone scrabled to find their loved ones, to make sure that they were safe, but before Fred even had the chance to look for Y/N, everything burst into havoc. The gazeebo was now engulfed in flames, Death Eaters showing up everywhere to curse them.

“Y/N!” Fred shouted, frantically looking around for the girl “Y/N!”

He turned around and was greeted by a paniced Mr Weasley “Theres not much time Fred, I dont know where she is, you need to get to safety and leave. Now!”

Fred ignored his fathers protests and ran, dodging various spells being shot from either side. He had to find you, he had to know you were safe.

An abrupt crash jolts you back into reality, you get up to run and go outside but with a sudden ‘whoosh’ and black smoke- two Death Eaters appear infront of you.

“Shit.” You mumble & grab your wand, quickly dodging their spells you manage to knock one out & try to deal with the other. “You’re quite persistant-“ blue sparks shoot from your wand, the figure ran upstairs & you follow.

“And you’re associated with mud-blood scum!” A flash of green emerged from their wand that narrowly missed you, you grin

“You missed.” You kick a chair at the figure, momentarily distracting them to cast a spell “Stupefy! Petrificus totalus!” As the figure was knocked out & bound together, you walk over and spit out “Get a life, prick” snapping their wand in two.

In the middle of your fight, you had not noticed that the commotion outside had turned to an arsonists playground. looking through the window you call for Fred, hearing no response your heart stops, you leave the room & try to get down the stairs but now they were already engulfed by flames.

“Oh shit” you panic and shoot spells at it to stop the fire from spreading, but to no avail, it only got worse. Smoke was now clouding your vision, realising that if you were not to jump down you’d perish in this fire. Letting out a short breath, you hype yourself up for the leap of your life “You can do it Y/N. Come on” violetly coughing, you jump. Unfortunately landing a fair few stairs too high. Unbearable pain shoots up through your leg & you cry out in pain.

Sinking to the floor you couldnt even move, the pain in your arm and leg restricting you. This was it, this would be how you die. All alone, with no one to help you, no one to save you. In a burning house. Yet the only thought racing through your mind was ‘Is Fred safe’. Thankfully most of the fire was behind you, the staircase had completely gone up in flames however, the roof was begining to crumble down. A plank toppled down, narrowly missing you, but making the room next to you catch on fire.

As you were losing conciousness you hear a strained yell “Y/N!” You try to respond, but all that came out was a series of violent coughs “Y/N im coming, hang on!” You couldn’t see what was happening, i dont know if it was the thick cloud of smoke or the fact that you were breathing most of it in, but your vision blurred.

A faint figure emerged, breathless, trying to get through the flames & to you fast enough “Hey Y/N ive got you, im here.” You felt yourself being picked up & your body fell like a ragdoll. “Oh merlin dont die on me Y/N.” Was the last thing you heard before passing out.

*

The abrupt light and noise woke you up, yet you were unable to open your eyes, they were far too heavy for the little energy you had. Were you dead? Is this what death felt like?

“Stop pacing Fred, she’ll be fine.” You heard a voice say, however, unable to distinguish who it belonged to “shes a strong girl, the nurses said so.”

“Yeah they also said she’d wake up yesterday, so my apologies if I dont believe what they have to say.” He snapped

Fred. Oh yes, Fred. He came into the building to save you didnt he? So that answered your question of being dead. You were very much alive, but dear Merlin you were in unbearable pain.

“She’ll be up and about soon though? Her body was exhausted thats why shes sleeping so long right?” He continued, sounding unsure. Well if this is how they reacted to you passing out you wouldn’t want to know how theyd react if you died.

“And id appreciate it if I could sleep some more.” You croak out as you let your eyes open. Coming to face the whole clan of distressed red heads, Harry, Hermione & Fleur.

Fred snaps to face you and a look of relief washes over his features “Y/N” he whispers and rushes to your side hugging you “You’re okay. You’re alive. Thank Merlin.”

You try to chuckle, which abruptly turns into a wheze “I’m okay yeah, in a lot of pain but I’m fine.” Fred retreats from you, an apologetic look on his face.

“Come on kids lets give them some space.” Molly ushers everyone out of the room “I’m glad you’re okay Y/N” she sends you a smile and leaves the room for you and Fred to be alone.

Moments pass with Fred just looking at you with glassy eyes before he abruptly let out “You bloody scared me half to death!”

You motion for him to help you sit up “Oh I do apologise that me nearly burning in a fire scared you. I wasnt very happy about it either.”

Fred looks at you speachless, confused at how you can joke about it so soon. He remains quiet before letting out a big sigh and hanging his head into his lap “I thought I lost you.” He mumbles, barely loud enough for you to hear

“Hey, look at me.” You say and put his face into your left hand with the little energy you have “I’m okay, I’m alive. And so are you” he smiles faintly before you continue “Obviously as gorgeous as ever, so nothing irreversible happened.”

He laughs “Obviously.”

While in the room Fred filled you in on what happened, that after the Death Eaters showed up & they fought them off- Bellatrix Lestrange set fire to the burrow & he ran in to get you out. He told you that you passed out & that you had to be taken to St Mungos to treat your broken leg and the burn on your arm.

“The nurses said you were lucky to get out alive Y/N” he said lowly, not being able to bear the thought of your death.

“Im alive because of you Fred. Thank you.” You offer a weak smile “There were two Death Eaters in the house when it burned up-“

“Thats not on your concious to bear, Its on Bellatrix Lestrange.”

You nod, in all honesty you didnt feel bad that they perished in the fire- their downfall was their own undoing. But what was on your mind was the fire burn “When I’m better do you recon I’ll l have a cool badass scar?”

Fred shakes his head as he holds your hand, of course thats what Y/N is thinking about “‘course you will, It’ll become part of badass backstory.”

“Good” you mumble and close your eyes. After a long silence you relax back into your pillow, the sleeping draft & skelly-grow hitting you like a brick. You begin to mumble incoherent sentences

“Hey Freddie?”

He looks at your peaceful face, all calm against the pillow and responds “Yes my love?”

After a little pause of small mumbles, you ask “When I’m better, can we leave for our trip?”

“Whatever you want Y/N.” He smiles lightly & watches you drift off to sleep, hoping that ‘better’ would come along faster.

—————

Ahh okay hi! Omg this took so long to write, again sorry its not the actual bellatrix fire story, i jus forgot how it happened & when I remembered I wrote too much of it. <33

[ushiwakatrash]

On your knees, King! (Part 2)

Bakugou x reader, Todoroki x reader

Fantasy AU

!Warnings!: Swearing, betrayal, lil dash of angst, shitty writing

Synopsis:

Bakugou is the esteemed King of the Kingdom of Barbarians and because he succeeded in ruling the lands that were once governed by the Yuuei Kingdom, an offering must be made for the peace of the people. As the so-called ‘black sheep’ of the royal family, the King of Yuuei a.k.a. your father, offered you--naming you the most precious thing he could give; but you know the truth behind his words.

PART II 

← Part 1           Part 3 →

The whole night Prince Shouto held you in his arms, gently running his hand through your hair as he cooed you to stop crying.

“Oh Sho, if only our engagement was not cancelled then I could have been happy to live the rest of my days with my best friend. But alas, this is only wishful thinking”

These words struck his heart as he yearned for the princess even more. His heart had been hers to begin with, ever since they were kids, ever since they met one beautiful morning in the garden where their parents often had tea.

Knowing she was to be given away when she was supposed to be his pained him. She saw the marriage as her marrying her best friend but for him, there is no one else who he is willing to grow old with rather than (Y/n).

A bitter taste was left in his mouth and before he even knew it, a tear started to roll down his face. The world had always been unfair for him and he almost had the only thing he could ever want, the Barbarians had to take that away from him too.

“Princess, I am still hoping your father changes his mind. I will try to convince him as best as I can” Todoroki softly said. He knew the chances were too slim but he still had to try.

His last string of hope got cut when he saw the broken smile of the princess. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do at this point. My father has already signed the papers. My life is over, Sho.”

“Don’t say that, milady. It may not be so bad. For sure they do things differently but I know they won’t treat you poorly. You are a grand token from the Kingdom of Yuuei and the um... future... queen of the.. Barbarians” The prince’s hands fell to his side and he balled his fists.

“You dont deserve this, (Y/n). I truly wish I could do something. I can’t give you up to that unsightly king! I... just can’t take it..” slowly Shouto got up and turned his back on you.

“Sho, what’s wrong?” he started walking towards the door and flashed a small sad smile “I don’t want to lose you, but it looks like the future is set on doing so. Rest, (Y/n). Goodnight.”

Silence surrounded the room and the princess was left alone to her thoughts once more. “Should I make that Bakugou hate me so he would want to get rid of me? Oh wait, if I become a nuisance, he might just go for my head!” she said to herself.

“If I do what he wishes, he might treat me well...” all that thinking and crying finally took over on the girl’s body and soon enough she fell asleep.

--

As the Prince excited her room, he felt his legs stagger and when he was already further down the hallway, his knees finally gave up. Immense pain clouded his heart as the news finally hit him.

He grew up with her, he shared his pain with her and he was ready to see her seated beside him when it was their time to rule over their empires. All because of that stupid king, all of his dreams were crushed.

Memories of them came flashing in his mind and he smiled a little when he remembered the time he fell in love. 

--

“I can’t stand how you look like your father!” those were the words he heard before the scorching heat of boiling water kissed his delicate face. What hurt the most was that his own mother was behind the ugly burn mark that’s starting to eat away his pale skin.

“AAAAAAAAAAH! NO PLEASE MOTHER, STOP IT!!!” the child prince’s cries filled up the whole room. The queen couldn’t believe what she had done and dropped everything she was holding. One of the guards herd the commotion and stood frozen as he saw the scene unfolding in front of him.

“M-ma’am, what happened here?” his shaky voice asked. “I- I d-didn’t mean i-it! It’s his father’s fault! Everything is his father’s fault!” Soon more guards entered the room and some escorted the prince to find medical assistance.

“Get the king, quick! We don’t know if we can arrest her majesty or not”

King Enji, mostly known as King Endeavor, quickly rushed to the room where his knights led him and saw the mess his wife had made. Knowing how big of a scandal this would cause, he announced that the queen had gone ill but in fact, she was hidden away in a room deep in the palace where only selected maids were to tend to her.

If ever palace staff were to spread the truth about Rei Todoroki, their heads would be chopped off in an instant. Out of the fear of the king and of course their lives, no one said a word.

--

When Princess (Y/n) heard the news she quickly dragged her personal maid out of the castle and demanded for a carriage pronto. Her palace staff scrambled to their feet to comply to the princess in a hurry. 

“Quick, to the Todoroki Castle, something bad had happened. Please sir make the carriage fly if you have to!” she pleaded. They knew their sweet little princess never demanded anything from them so this must have been a real emergency. 

When they reached their destination, (Y/n) jumped out of their vehicle and run towards her friend’s room. Her visit startled the maids because she had come without prior notice.

In a loud authoritative (but cute) voice she ordered the maids to immediately take her to Shoto. Without even knocking, the princess busted the door open and took the boy in his arms.

Instantly, Shoto felt the comfort the princess was trying to give. He cried as she cooed sweet words in his ear. When the prince calmed a little, the little girl cupped his tear stained face and gave a little kiss on his nose.

“You know Sho, you’ll always be the most handsome prince to me. Your face may change but you’ll always be my Sho!” she then kissed his scar and engulfed him in another hug “You’ll always be my prince Sho. It’s okay to get hurt and cry but you have to pick yourself up too. How will my prince protect me if he keeps looking down?” the sweet girl then beamed at him.

Her contagious smile made way to his and he knew everything would be alright. The girl had said everything he needed to hear.

So when Shoto fell for her, he sure fell damn hard.

--

Back to the present, a red strong dragon had just landed in the balcony of the royal castle of the Barbarians. He roared to let his master know he was home.

“What did you see, Kirishima?” the King went to pet his mystical dragon. In human form, the dragon would be able to talk so after receiving his well earned pats on the head, Kirishima transformed to a young buff man with sharp hair as red as his beautiful scales.

The red head knelt on one knee and proceeded to tell King Bakugou the events that happened. “Oh so she and that Todoroki bastard are friends, huh? But really, a grown ass woman sleeping over at his fucking castle? Tch. I’d rather not have that dual color haired bastard taint what’s going to be mine!” the Barbarian King was not happy with the scenes relayed to him by his loyal steed.

“(Y/n)... you better toughen it up if you wanna stay a fucking queen in my palace.”

--

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