#which is crazy. cuz I try to keep my problems to myself. I internalize a lot of the anguish I feel on a daily basis so no one else has

[kittlyns]

It is so insane to feel everyone getting sick of you. Like goddamn I'm sorry I'm going through what may be my worst year yet but you putting up with me is somehow equivalent to christ on the fucking cross all of a sudden.

[aesudan-kholin]

For the ask meme. Aesudan.

cracks knuckles

Sexuality Headcanon: luke you specifically know about the way i interpret this. for the rest of you, straight*

Gender Headcanon: aesudan does not really lend herself to gender nonconformity and for that reason i think she is cis, but i haven't like tried to see all the angles on it like i haven't had late nights or spent more than 10 minutes thinking about her gender in my waking hours. i think if she wasn't cis she wouldn't really know or care enough about it to change how she presents. the dream i had where she was trans notwithstanding because she was one of many including the big man himself

A ship I said with said character: who the fuck ships aesudan like honest to god question. i know there was one person in the aesudan tag like 4 years ago who shipped her with elhokar. one day i will get around to inventing men for her to have affairs with in my little headcanon world or boyfriends pre marriage but those aren't Ships they're just worldbuilding

A BROTP I have with said character: elhokar pre gavilar death... i mean their relationship (IN MY HEAD like i could talk about speculation using knowledge we have about their relationship pre gavilar death but this is just my inner headcanon world where everything is how i want it) is not necessarily Healthy but they do rely on and lean on each other a lot and they do do friend things. so probably that. i've toyed around with lalai (Lalai. not ialai.) and her being besties but i haven't developed any of it

A NOTP I have with said character: elhokar/aesudan. listen i know this might sound like then reading about her in any effect would be unpleasant since they're married but actually its really not cause like. they're so??????????? whatever they are. they're not close like that. elhokar doesn't know her circa oathbringer like At All cuz he's so flabbergasted by all these things that she's been doing for Years. the only scene they have together is them arguing (and in the row prologue navani is briefly like oh look aesudan is talking to elhokar For Once instead of other men). even more than what was maybe supposed to be implied cheating circa row prologue. they just. I DONT KNOW!! THEYRE JUST FUNNY!!! other than elhokar like i dont give a shit if you shipped her with anyone else in the world. i swear i saw someone at one point talk about aesudan/jasnah and i laughed my head off but like if it floats your boat man!!! WAIT I DO HAVE ONE MORE THING callout post to my tomodachi life save for trying to get dalinar and aesudan together like 3 times

A random headcanon: she internally promised herself not to let elhokar name their child after he named his horse Vengeance. also she draws Stylized Art like she's the kid in middle school art class who gets told to stop drawing anime by the teacher and she goes "No 🖤" and keeps turning in "referenced" pictures of anime guys for every assignment. but she's on roshar and anime doesn't exist so basically she draws but she just didn't start with the fundamentals so her drawings look Cool but also Off like in the anatomy or whatever. but elhokar who likes art but doesn't have a Refined Eye for it goes crazy for it since everything else he sees is realism

General Opinion over said character: thats a big question. she is Bad and i will be the first to point out her flaws because i know all her sins that have been talked about. i love her though cheer every time she's on screen or mentioned like YES!!! CAUSE PROBLEMS!!!! i dont think i need to elaborate i trust that you guys understand and/or comprehend liking a character without condoning their actions. i like that i basically have her to myself because while some people in the world also give a shit about elhokar, no one gives the shit about aesudan. im the only mf out here as far as im aware, and i have scowered internet spaces for people talking about aesudan. i have this message i wrote from march 2021 which haunts me which reads "i wonder if anyone out in the world genuinely cares about aesudan". its you. you do.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

The Hitman Bodyguard: Chapter 6

They had six months of normal; at least, normal for Tony Stark.  International trips, long nights at the office, normal stuff.  No more explosions or assassination attempts. Then SHIELD called Steve and Steve called Tony.  When Tony had brought it up, it was casual, offhand; another routine mission, probably another dead end.  Bucky noticed that he was careful not to even hint about Bucky participating, for which Bucky was gratefult.  When everyone, including Thor, gathered at the Tower for the mission pre-briefing Bucky made himself scarce, barely leaving his room until he heard the rumble of the Quinjet leaving.

The problem was that the Tony that came back wasn’t the same one that left.  This Tony was tense and jittery, his laugh too loud and brittle and his grin too bright. He was avoiding Bucky, spending all night in the lab with Bruce and retreating to his bedroom as soon as he came upstairs. To Bucky’s frustration and concern, all attempts to pin him down and find out what happened were deflected.

And now, Tony was going to a party.  

“Come on,” Tony said as he buttoned up his vest, smoothing down his tie to make sure it hung straight.  He was wearing a three piece suit, all black on black; devastatingly handsome, but by now Bucky knew him well enough to realize that for Tony, this was just armor of a different kind.  Something had rattled him on that mission and he was trying to pretend it didn’t happen. “It’ll be fun, you should come.”

“Nah. You’ll be in a room full of superheroes, so I think you’ll be fine. I’m going to stay here and take a night off.”  Bucky emphasized the point by propping his feet up on the coffee table.  “I get to watch whatever I want.”

Tony snorted with amusement. “You know, most people would jump at the chance to meet the Avengers,” he pointed out as he shrugged into his suit jacket.

“Meh. I’m good. Have fun.”

The twist to Tony’s mouth as he turned away was strange, not humorous at all, but all he said was “You, too,” then the door was closing behind him.

Two hours later, Bucky’s curiosity got the best of him. “Hey, JARVIS, can I see the feed from the party?”

JARVIS obligingly popped up a window at the corner of the TV screen, showing a bunch of people mingling, drinking, chatting.  Tony was in the corner of the screen, laughing with Rhodey, and for a short, sharp moment Bucky was so jealous of Rhodey, that he got to have happy Tony when he’d been all sharp edges around Bucky.  “Thanks, JARVIS, you can turn it off now.”

But seeing that made Bucky restless, and even though he knew he couldn’t go down there because Steve was there, wearing blue and smiling at the man from DC, he really wanted to.  He had the crazy idea of wearing a mask to the party, like Cinderella to a ball, but he knew that was crazy as soon as he thought it. So he tried to keep himself occupied, reading, watching a movie, counting down the hours until Tony might theoretically come back from the party.

It was about two in the morning when Bucky let himself ask again.  “JARVIS, can I see Tony? The party, I mean?”  When JARVIS didn’t answer, Bucky’s brows drew together. “JARVIS?”  Bucky’s stomach sank.  "Tony? Can you hear me?"

Something was very wrong.

(More after the break!)

Bucky grabbed every weapon that was close to hand and sprinted for the common area that was two floors up.  The sound of combat was audible as soon as he left the stairwell, and when he reached the main room it was total chaos. Bucky got there just in time to see Tony leap from a fucking railing to attack one of his remote-operated Legionnaires with what looked like a fondue fork, simultaneously giving Bucky turning him on and giving him a goddamn heart attack.

“Tony!” he shouted, getting the attention of one of the robots. He blocked its repulsor blast with his arm then punched a hole right through its power core.

“One second!” Tony shouted back, and then the robot he was riding dropped like a stone. Bucky was already sprinting across the room, cursing when he saw Tony hit the stairs hard.

“Are you ok?” Bucky’s hands moved over Tony quickly, looking for broken bones or open wounds.

Tony nodded and wheezed a little, breath clearly knocked out of him, but waved Bucky’s hands away. Bucky heard the air sing with the sound of Steve’s shield and then another one of Tony’s robots hit the floor, cut in half.

Everything was quiet for a moment, then a severely damaged Legionnaire started speaking, moving jerkily amid the wreckage. To Bucky, its words were barely making sense but Tony was staring at it like he was looking at a ghost, stricken and pale.

“There’s only one path to peace,” the robot said, its voice like tires on gravel. “The Avenger’s extinction.”

At that, Thor’s hammer sent it slamming into the wall behind it, crushing its chest and shattering it into pieces. Then there was silence again, heavy and full of dread, as the Avengers stared at each other.

“So that was a thing that happened,” a voice said from the upper floor.  As Bucky helped Tony to his feet he glanced up and recognized Hawkeye, Clint something.  He was looking right at Bucky, and here it was, that disaster Bucky had seen coming for months now.  “But first, who’s this guy?”

Bucky involuntarily glanced around and saw everyone staring at him now. When he met Steve’s eyes and saw the recognition there, Bucky’s limbs went heaving with dread, keeping his feet anchored to the floor when everything in him wanted to run.

“Right.” Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand and Bucky automatically pulled him to his feet.  “Uh, everyone, this is my bodyguard –“

“Bucky?” Steve said, astonished.

“Hey, Bucky,” Rhodey said, right as someone on the other side of the room said, “Who the hell is Bucky?”

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky said, looking at the shield at Steve’s feet, unable to meet anyone’s eyes.

“Oh, you guys know each other?” Tony asked. As he saw the looks on Steve and Bucky’s faces, his eyes narrowed.  “Ok, what am I missing? Is this some kind of hookup gone wrong, or-”

“So it’s really you?” Steve took an involuntary step forward but stopped. “You’re…you’re alive.”

“Yeah.”

“How-”

“Ok, anyone care to explain to the class?” Tony said loudly, like he was trying to control the urge to shout. “Cuz I gotta say, I feel like there’s a lot of stuff happening right now that I don’t understand.”

Bucky felt sick as he tried to find the words to explain, the right words, any words that might keep his whole life from shattering to pieces at his feet.  Bucky took a deep breath and, still not looking at Tony, said, “My name is James Buchanan…Barnes.”

Rhodey was the first one to get it. “As in, the James Barnes?”

Tony turned to face him. “What do you mean the James Barnes?”

“From World War Two, Tony.  As in, ‘best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.’” Bucky and Steve both winced as they recognized the quote, and Rhodey was giving Bucky a flat, suspicious look as he continued, “‘Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life on the battlefield.’  Guess that didn’t stick, huh?”

“I still don’t understand,” Tony said.  “You’re saying that…”  Tony trailed off when he turned back around and saw the guilty look on Bucky’s face.  “Are you serious?”

“Why did…How are you alive? Where have you been?”  Steve said, sitting down heavily on the coffee table behind him, still staring at him in disbelief.

“You don’t want to know the answer to that, Steve.”

“Yeah, I do.” Steve’s voice had a steely edge to it that Bucky remembered.

Bucky blew out a long breath and crossed his arms over his chest, feeling exposed and under attack with everyone staring at him. “Hydra,” he finally said.  “When I fell from the train, they found me, gave me this,” he gestured with his metal arm, “and a little of what that doctor gave you, I guess. A couple of decades in cryosleep, and ta-da.” He waved his hands.  “Here I am.”

“Hydra?” Steve repeated with dismay. “All this time?”

“Until about the nineties,” Bucky said.  “I told you that you didn’t want to know.  It’s not pretty and I’m not going to talk about it.”  A tense silence fell. Bucky realized he was gritting his teeth and forced himself to relax before he made the headache pounding at his temples any worse.  Steve’s eyes were shuttered and his jaw was working like he was having whole conversations with himself.  Tony had shaken his head and turned away as if he couldn’t look at Bucky anymore.

“How much do you remember?” Steve asked after a while.

“Do we really need to do this now?”  Bucky gestured around at the devastation, at all of the strangers watching their little drama.

“I think I deserve some closure before you disappear again,” Steve snapped.

“Fine.” Bucky exhaled. “I remember a little,” he said, rubbing his temple with his flesh hand.  “But I’ve also read a lot about myself, and, of course, that meant reading about you, so…it’s hard to tell what is really my memory and what I’ve read.”

  “Why didn’t you come find me?” It would have been better if Steve had shouted, instead of saying it calmly, the hurt and anger churning underneath his words.

“Because when I first escaped, you were still dead.  And then when you – when you weren’t, I had already made a new life.  A new name, a job, friends, everything.  If I had come to you and said, ‘Hey, Stevie, long time no see,’ I would have been setting a match to everything I had built for myself.  I’m actually happy now – well, I was – and it seemed like you had found new friends, with the Avengers.” At the time, he’d read all the articles about the Avengers with relief, glad that Steve had a new team now; it made him feel a little less guilty.  Besides, in every way that mattered, Steve’s Bucky really was dead, lost and forgotten after sixty-odd years with Hydra and twenty years of being on his own.

“Guys,” a woman said from over their heads, leaning on the railing with a pistol held loosely in her hand.  Her red dress had a long dark smudge on it and there was tiny shards of broken glass in her dark hair.  “This is all very dramatic, but I think we might have a bigger problem at the moment.  Shall we take this to a place a little less…destroyed?”

“She’s right,” Tony said suddenly.  He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to face Bucky, eyes unreadable. “Look, clearly there is a lot that…this is a lot, but we have homicidal robot on the loose, and I just can’t deal with this right now.” Tony dragged his eyes away from Bucky to look at Steve, who was staring at the floor. “We can’t, I guess. So, just…stick around, and we will talk later, ok?”

Bucky swallowed thickly and nodded. He watched as everyone followed Tony out of the destroyed living room to go to his lab, broken glass crunching under their feet.  He stared at his feet, not wanting to see the anger and betrayal in Tony’s eyes or the sympathy in anyone else’s.  Then dully, robotically, he packed his bags and walked out of the tower heading west.

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/11/18 7:47

okay, lets talk. 

Ive had an emotional 24 hours. I’ve been anxious, i’ve been insecure, i’ve been angry and sad and hurt and manic and crazy and i need to get it out so i can fucking cleanse and move into my weekend.

It started with spencer, what like, 2 nights ago now? i dont remember when it was, but i was getting insecure and noticing how i was affecting him. it was yesterday, cuz it was wednesday. i was insecure and didnt want him to leave my room and i think i really stressed him out because i just wanted him to stay and say the things i wanted to hear, but that isnt reality. he cant read my mind, he cant know what i need to hear, thats why i need to communicate and not just suck into myself and away from him, but i didnt want to do that because i didnt want to be crazy, but then i got crazy and i made him kinda late because he dropped by at 3:30 and only expected to stay till 4 but he left at 6:27 as i needed to go to my 6:30 lab.. so i feel bad but i just agh i couldnt let him leave when i didnt feel good..

i didnt feel good because we talked about politics. he got me going on the wage gap, so i got heated talking about the misconceptions and he was (respectfully) arguing with me because he is suuupperrrr super liberal, very very left, very socialist, and he’s a politics major, so he’s well versed and i get that going in, but i also wanted to share my side because im fairly moderate; i dont believe in a lot of feminist rhetoric, or the wage gap stuff. i read the study, and it bothers me that people misuse the statistics to say that women get paid less for the same job, because that is NOT what the study found. The point was that women take different kinds of jobs than men and tend to work less hours and have less education and qualifications. THAT is the ‘feminist’ issue, not paying women less for the same job because thats illegal and cant happen. 

Heres the thing. I know there are sexist issues in our society. i know that it is harder for women than it is for men. but frankly, i feel better ignoring it as much as i can. i feel like if we keep telling women than they shouldnt be scientists because its a man job, or that society tells women that they need a leg up, because then we start believing it and internalizing and thinking we are less than men. i feel like if we just stopped talking about it, i wouldnt know that there was a gender discrepancy and id feel totally normal getting into stem. i dont want to feel like im some anomaly. and frankly yes, i notice sometimes. i notice the gender divide in stem. of fucking course i see it. i know that there are men in my neuroscience lab who think i dont know shit. im not blind, i know the STEM field is misogynistic. i know it is. but i dont like to subscribe to the feminist thing that im so held down and its because im a woman. but thats just me

anyway, my babe is very liberal and he was listening of course but also making sure i knew that the problems im ignoring are still there, which i appreciate but i also get kinda irritated with hyper liberal men because it sounds kinda guilty? like listening to a straight white man say that straight white men are the problem, annoys me. like yes thats true, but also ugh its annoying. i hate the men shame that feminism encourages.

so we kinda went back and forth for a while, which like, good that we can have real conversations, and politics is something that will inevitably come up, but as the conversation went on, i started getting insecure and anxious because confrontation scares me. not that he was really even confronting me? like spencer is such a sweet man, he’s gentle and kind and supportive and so sweet to me, and i know politics is literally his thing, and im glad that he’s super liberal as opposed to the other end. cuz like ya i am a queer woman and im glad that he seems like a strong advocate for minority groups like that, so like im glad, but i also started to feel like he was frustrated with me for like being ill informed.

 heres the thang tho, im not really ill informed. ive done my research, i watch the news, and im a big fan of shoe0nhead which admittedly is very moderate bias media, but its content i agree with. and i was telling him that im fairly moderate, and he was like ya i can tell, and i was like and politics isnt really my thing, and he was like ya i can tell. but i didnt mean that like i didnt understand politics, i meant it as like i try not to really get into the conversation (partially because of sarah lawrence)

no wait i did tell him that. i told him how involved i was in social justice stuff in new york, that i literally led the anti Trump protest in NYC after he was elected. and when i told him that, he got all dreamy eyed like it was so attractive that his girlfriend was an activist, which is cute n whatever, cuz everything he does is cute..

the point is, that after this conversation i was insecure because i felt like he would be mad at me (he wasn’t) or that he would hate me (he doesn’t). and i know that logically of course, but still... ugh idk, the conversation just got me riled up and then he had to leave town for the whole weekend and i was feeling like we wouldnt have enough time to resolve it

but he kept saying everything was fine, that he wasn’t mad, that he might disagree, but still loves me duh. and i know he meant it, but u know when you get in your head and youre like shit i said too much, and now he will never look at me the same because we slightly disagree about politics, like my moms dating a republican and they reallllyyy disagree on politics, like i will be fine! whats yer issue self?

but ya so i just felt insecure, and i know he was trying to comfort me even tho i didnt let on thaaat much that i was hurting. i feel like when people i love get confrontational with me (which again, he wasn’t) i get upset and my heart feels heavy and it hurts and i want them to leave and i would have just ended our hangout because we both had places to be and whatever we’ll deal with it later, but i knew he was leaving tonight and was gunna be busy and we couldnt deal with it so i was scared and when my attachment feels insecure, i get SO insecure. hahahaaaa i was thinking this relationship would be any different? gurl.

but heres the thing, he is.. he’s fine. he doesnt think anything is wrong and he’s still my sweet pea boyfriend. and i know that now, because i did get to say goodbye in a good re-establishing way tonight.

i knew he was leaving after his class at 6:30 tonight and i was nervous because i knew he was gunna be busy with packing up and everything.

i ran into him walking to class and we were fine and kissy and cute and i love him but as we were parting i was like can i say goodbye before you leave, but i dont think he heard me cuz he didnt really respond because we were diverging and he was giving me his sweet boy eyes with an outstretched arm as we parted and i was like shit im still insecurrrreeee

so i texted him during the first class like “hey i meant cant i say goodbye before you hit the road but sounds like yer gunna be busy so have a great weekend baby i love you!” and i meant it, i wanted to end on a good note but then he didnt respond all day, and my anxiety was mounting and i spent the rest of today in my room doing nothing but stressing about him. stressing about a boy, nothing new for me.

but eventually i got really tired and took a real nap, i had accepted that i wouldnt see him again.. sad.. i woke up at like 7:15 and i was like hmm let me see if his car is still here, ya know, cuz im crazy. i went downstairs to fill up my water bottle and his car was still in the parking lot. so ya know, i text him, cuz im crazy. and i was like drive safe babe <3 and then as i got back to my room there he was outside my door with bags in his arm to pack up his car and i was so effing relieved to see him. we hugged and kissed and he seemed genuinely happy to see me and i was so happy to get to have a moment with him before he left.

i walked him down to his car, and filled up his water bottle for him and once everything was in his car, he just kissed me.. and i know im a hopeless romantic, but i was so happy to just kiss him and feel his lips smiling and feel his arms around me and hear him giggle and be adorable.. 

my heart still hurts, but it’s different now. my heart hurts because I miss him. i already miss him even though he only just left. he’ll be gone until monday night and i might not even see him then because he’ll be exhausted, which is fair. but now im sad because ill just miss him. i know he’ll be camping and among friends and nerding out on his larping camp vacation is fresno. of course ill miss him.. because i love him..

as we were kissing by his car i was like be safe (cuz his larping thing is basically nerd war with foam weapons) and he was like “yeah i will, cant wait to see you when i get back”, and i was like yeah babe ill be here to patch you back together when you get back, and he kinda laughed at me and was like “i dont think that’ll be your intention when i get back” implying that ill probably just want to rough him up immediately when i see him like i usually do. which made me really really happy to hear cuz it was like acknowleding that everythings still good and we’re still crazy about each other and we’ll just want to fuck as soon as he’s home which is sweet to me, like to me thats such a sweet sentiment. and i just got so happy that he in his own way reminded me that like we’re still on a good track, and we’re still happy, and he still loves me, ya know?

and also as we were hugging and kissing i started scratching his back how he likes and he sorta moaned and was like “ugh im really gunna miss this.. like im gunna miss you of course, but im gunna miss your back scratches” and that made me happy.. 

he just makes me happy.. i really love him and i’m really grateful that i got to have this brief reconnection with him before he left town till monday.. 4 days without him is gunna suck, but i know he’s gunna be busy and probably not have service and be off the grid so we won’t talk unless he reaches out. but i will manage. he managed for 4 days while i was camping, so i can manage while he is nerd camping

omigod that reminds me how much i love him, again. he’s nerd camping. ugh i adore him

he was like babe you gotta come next time so we can get drunk and fight together and he was all smiley like he really wants to show me off at his nerd event which is so sweet.. and as he walked me back to the dorm entrance cuz i forgot my key, he called me his girlfriend, and even though its small, its something.. i’ll take it. 

i needed that brief little reconnection. the next 4 days i will have to detox. i have events planned like every day, so i’ll be fine. im gunna see my friends tomorrow and saturday night and i have chapter on sunday and should probably spend some time alone writing and detoxing and getting back to myself and feeling independent. 

i want time to shower and braid my hair and brush my teeth and feed my body good food and watch youtube and write. i need to stay writing. i need to keep journaling because i know how much it helps me. i need to get my emotions out and analyze why the things that upset me get to me. whats the root of the problem and how to get through it. i need that.

i was and still am so frustrated with myself that i got so insecure over one political conversation with spencer. like... thats a problem, ya know? 

and at least now that he’s out of town for the whole weekend, i dont really have an excuse for being anxious about seeing him? cuz he just drops by and i never know when cuz he doesnt text me first. like literally tonight as we were kissing outside my room he was like i came by earlier but you werent home, and i was like oh shit i was taking a nap and i slept through him coming to visit me :(( which is like oh my god that would have been so sad if i didnt get to see him on his way out because i was literally asleep! 

his dropping by, while its the cutest ever because it just like him wanting to see me, its also kind of stressful because i never know when its gunna happen, so whenever im home, im kind of anxious because he could drop in at any second, and of course i get happy when he does because then i get to see my baby, but alsoooooo it means i cant really indulge in my personal space because it could be interupted at any moment, and as i found out tonight, i cant take naps because then i could miss him :(

thats probably something we should discuss at some point, because it creates anxiety for me that is related to spencer, and i want to eliminate any bad vibes from my relationship

relationship.. he’s my boyfriend.. ohmigod wuuuuuuut im still shocked that he wanted to boo me up this much.. he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy ugh

i love him.. i need to get over this dumb insecurity that comes from mild confrontation? that wasnt even confrontation??

so lets remember the things to look forward to about this relationship

he loves me. he claims me proudly as his girlfriend. he wants to bring me to belegarth events, even this day one in san diego where he’d bring me home and introduce me to his home friends which is pretty huge.. he’s sweet, he likes spending time with me and he drops by frequently and stays for hours.. we’re good, and i know i sound crazy needing to convince myself, but thats because i dont want to bug him to validate me, especially not when he has this big event that he’s so excited for. and i want him to be excited for his event and feel secure with me, because of course i love him and want to be with him.

10:53pm i keep taking breaks from the journaling, i get distracted really easy, watching youtube and texting people.. trying to be social, its hard for me. also trying to bury my spencer texts, just cuz i know im crazy and i want to try to not think about him..

do i go walk down to the cooler to get food? or should i just subside on whatevers in my fridge.. also i really should fill up my tank.. and calculate the gas so my friends can reimburse me.. sigh

anyway, i think im feeling mostly better after yesterday. like obviously im still gunna think about it, and ill always worry if spencers as invested as me, but i gotta take it with the context that he was the one who pursued me and crushed on me from day one and wanted to date me and wanted to be exclusive with me and wanted to call me his girlfriend.. he says he loves me and he comes to visit me all the time and spends his free time with me.. he’s a sweet pea and i shouldnt be insecure about it

and not to be cryptic, but what am i even worried about? part of me was reluctant to even get into a relationship, and was supposed to be single and focusing on myself and if anything, dating women. i accidentally caught feels for an amazingly sweet nerd man, and believe me im happy about it. i love spending time with spencer and loving on him. but to be cryptic for just a second.. worst case scenario? he’s just not interested anymore and we break up. sooo? ya that would suck, and i would be heartbroken, but i would also be okay because i have good friends and the whole point of breaking up with ryan was to be single.. so..

anyway, i should probably wrap up this journal entry cuz its long and all over the place

omigod he just texted me

aww he’s letting me know that he got to his thing safely and he loves me

seeee he’s a sweet bean, yall are fine, can you chill now? he’s so into you and you dont need to be insecure about this right now

and wow i sound crazy writing this much, i’ve literally been writing for hours. i know i need to journal more, and this is literally just stream of consciousness for hours and hours.. alright, ima end here and do hw maybe..

stay grateful. stay happy. life is good, you are blessed. friends are good. boyfriend is good. school is good for now kinda haha but i need to stay positive! yes i have bad days, yes i have low points, yes i get insecure and sad and upset and lonely. but i am so very lucky to be alive and to be surrounded by support and love and to feel and give love freely. i am lucky to have found friends i can trust. i am lucky to still have my close friends from beyond this year of oxy. i am beyond lucky to have an incredible man in my life. and also its halloween season which means lots of fun family stuff and so many fun parties on and off campus and looking forward to showing off my jessica rabbit costume and seeing spencers cowboy beebop costume and just drooling over each other ^-^ 

it is going to be a great rest of this month, and after this is november, which means thanksgiving and family stuff, and better fall weather hopefully and that means getting spencer to wear more sweaters.. mmmph and then after that is december which means holiday season, and more family stuff, and of course, finding a time to see spencer and be cozy and watch christmas movies and again, get him into more sweaters.. mmmmmmmph yes babe

there is so much to look forward to!! events and planning christmas presents for people omigod im gunna start that note on my phone, theres so much to do!! cuz i also have so many new great friends for this holiday season which means more presents for people which im always excited about :) and getting to watch my puppy grow up and see my family and take in the quality time together <3 

i am loved. i am blessed. i am grateful. i want to spread love and positive vibes and happiness and love! so much love :)

okay. that’s all for tonight. shower, brush teeth, go to sleep. take care of yourself. LOVE

[xoxoemynn]

This is "can't write for shit" anon. I’m not sure but I think my main problem is / would be the embellishment of the plot so that it doesn’t sound like “They viewed flat A which was not their taste so they viewed flat B.” Do you get what I mean? I don’t want it to sound like I would recap an episode from a tv series for a friend who missed this episode. But I also don't want to overdo it with details. How did you started? Do you have any tips? (1/2)

I’m not saying that writing dialog is easy but for that you can check canon to have the “language” from the character for example Brian is speaking different from Linds in regard to their choice of words. So if you know canon you have a certain benchmark for writing dialogue. (2/2)

Hey!!! I’m SO sorry it took me forever to respond to this, I just wanted to think about it for a minute and everything has been crazy busy so my brain cells have been in limited supply. :-/

Aaaaaand behind a cut bc this got long.

So I never really had a “benchmark,” so to speak, but I did develop a “feeling” that I think just came with time and experience. But here are some general tips that worked for me (and seriously I went back to some of my old stories to provide examples and in the process found examples where I BROKE MY OWN RULES ALL THE TIME cuz sometimes that’s just what you have to do):

First thing I’d always have to do is establish whose POV I wanted to tell the story from. Yes, you can definitely tell the story from multiple POVs (although please not in the same scene! Super confusing!), but I usually found it simpler and more satisfying to focus on a single character’s POV. (Easier to keep track of what’s going on, don’t have to have the “wait I’ve been doing five Brian scenes in a row, shit I gotta toss a Justin in there somewhere” battles, allowed me to connect more deeply to the story because I would just allow myself to sink completely into a single character’s head…of course there are obvious exceptions – sometimes everybody just has something to say!.)

How I chose which character’s POV to tell the story on really depended on whose emotions I wanted to highlight so I could tell the story I wanted to tell. I remember having a debate whose POV to use in this story. I started off making it Justin’s, to show him looking in on Brian and Joan’s relationship and how it affected how he felt for Brian, which definitely could have been a story on its own, but ultimately, I felt it was more pressing to show how Joan continued to affect Brian and how much Justin’s presence helped him in that moment.

Okay sorry to harp on POV for so long but I honestly think that’s a really crucial step…because let’s say you’re writing this story from Brian’s POV but then you realize to tell the story you want you really need a conversation between Daphne and Justin to happen and how are you going to make that work if this entire story is Brian sulking by himself in Pittsburgh???? So seriously, just a good proactive step is thinking about whose thoughts and conversations you’re going to need to have the most access to.

So I think generally what helped me avoid the “recapping an episode” vibe was to remember that a big part of writing is showcasing the emotions behind the actions. Brian and Justin are going house hunting? Great! What does that mean for them as a couple? Are they excited/nervous/scared? And why? So between all the details about how House #1 has terrible wallpaper and House #2 has wall-to-wall shag carpets I may have some details about how Justin is still nervous Brian is going to bolt and that’s why he’s tearing all the houses apart, or include some dialogue between the two of them that gets to that point.

Because that’s another thing – I’ve found that “dialogue” doesn’t necessarily have to be between multiple characters. Sometimes when you get that feeling you need dialogue to avoid the recap issue what you ACTUALLY need is just some sort of insight to how a character is thinking or feeling in that moment.

Case in point: this story doesn’t have any dialogue until the very end, but because we’re focusing on Brian’s thoughts and emotions, (I don’t think) you really miss the fact that nobody is speaking.

Okay but sometimes you DO just need some dialogue, so I think then it’s important to think about what you’re trying to accomplish. In this fic I could have started from within Brian’s head to set the stage for the story, but I did want some dialogue and thought it would be a nice opportunity to give Brian and Michael some friendship time and also show how much Michael’s come around to Justin. 

And actually I think that’s just a really great principle to apply overall? Yes, sometimes there’s a distinct effect to just being inside a character’s head and letting them be super reflective, but sometimes you need to bring other characters in. Sure, you could have Justin come to some realization about why Brian’s being such a dick on his own, but maybe Daphne could have spotted something and brought it to Justin’s attention, and through their conversation you’re able to uncover some other deeper truth. 

And actually, I think that’s my biggest advice overall: just think -- what is my goal here? What do I want to accomplish? What information do I want to share, what information do I want to keep hidden, what sort of tone do I want to get across? HOW do I do this...and is there a DIFFERENT way that may accomplish a more desirable effect?

All that is to say, and going back to your initial question... no, I don’t see a benchmark, but I do think there needs to be a balance between revealing basic expository details and revealing the emotional significance behind those details. Whether you do that through dialogue or internal reflection may vary depending on the story you’re trying to share, but with some time and experience, you should develop a better feel for when dialogue makes sense and it should become easier to make those kinds of decisions.

I hope this makes sense/helps!! And apologies again for the super lengthy delay!!

[smmickeyd]

Imposter!

Yupp. Still feel like I suck at my job.

“Some people are a 1, some are a 1-, some are a 1+. And you’re a 1+ and it’s just something you need to realize” -Lead

Welp. Fantastic. I don’t feel that way. And maybe it’s just cuz I don’t receive any affection or praise for being a 1+ consistently. Or maybe I do, and it’s in the form of being left alone. Who knows.

But EVERY FUCKING MORNING we have our team tag up and SB ain’t got SHIT to say about what she did. “Uhhhh,,,,, I had a lot of meetings. And I did some work in WINDOWS” like would you friggen communicate please?!?! Good lord. And nothing really happens at all. Like when my list of daily accomplishments (which we all know how I feel about that) gets even a little less long, she starts lookin to me like “so you’ve got some room on your plate, what can you help with?”

Bruh

And I say looking as if she’s actually doing that. I’m the only one coming into the office! And even not coming in specifically doesn’t bother me. We all have our barometers based on those in our lives we support that help guide how careful we need to be right now. I get that. But I’m also the ONLY one consistently using his webcam. Make an effort! I haven’t been the last two weeks.

Setting an example is all well and good, but when n o b o d y seems to follow it or care, then it becomes really difficult to keep up.

And Lead talks about how she’s overworked and cranky. Gurl, were ALL overworked, you’re just not doing a good job keeping your emotions out of the workplace. And I even registered with myself the possibility that I’m projecting an internal prejudice against women for getting a bad rap when showing the same level of emotion as men. I evaluated that, and I don’t think that’s what’s happening. It’s for real. I do NOT get the super high strung, anxious, sky is falling energy from other the way she has it.

Bruh and B. That man has 0 proactivity in him. Good lord. We spent an entire half an hour of Lead going through the laundry list of to-do items. Nobody else spoke before the meeting was over. That was fine actually because laying all that stuff out was helpful, but then he has the NERVE, and it’s not even nerve, it’s ignorance, lack of paying attention, inability to put the pieces together, has the nerve to say “well I’ll have some free time today so if anybody needs any help, just reach out”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!??

We just spend a half an hour!! Going through!!! Everything!!!! That needs work!!!! Go do shit!!! Anything! Pick something! Go do it!

I try not to bash on people. I try to be patient. Not seeing them in person certainly doesn’t help. The human factor is faded. I’m jaded. But this is ridiculous. I can’t stand it. The work SB is doing is just awful. It’s basically copy-paste. Everyone comments on how bad it is. And the problem I have is it makes ME look bad. And I hate that. Because I’m on that team. Problem is I’m off doing my work that I LITERALLY PULL NOBODY INTO EVER.

When shit hits the fan, I fix that fan, clean up the shit, and plug the fan back in on my own. Fuck.

I answer to CE weekly, on half of the entire program! And nobody looks around and goes, “gee, it’s weird that the CE isn’t up our ass like his in other teams. I wonder why?” MEEE MOTHER FUCKER. I AM. It’s me. Hello. Yupp. Hand raised. I report on the shit we’re doing (which the actual work I have very little claim to credit) very well and it allows my OTHER THREE TEAMMATES to be completely free of wading into that pile of work.

Staring at my work laptop on my table across the room right now. In this moment I hate it. I hate being here. I hate my job. It’s awful. It’s 0% challenging. It’s 100% frustrating. Nobody communicates well. NOBODY. And everybody wants to work this project like it’s a fucking 9-5 and that’s how we’re gonna put people on the moon. Like yeah, it wasn’t tough back in the ‘60s either, I’m sure everyone just worked their 40 and went home. NOOOO!!! Are you bloody crazy?!?! If I didn’t have $128k of student loans, I’d be a lot closer to quitting.

Don’t meet your heroes. And don’t achieve your dreams either, you’ll only dream bigger.

[xenonpie]

I have climbed a single peak of Tsundere Mountains

kay, so, for you few that have known me for a while, or even more than 2 seconds, you may have noticed that I have been on a four year long classpect hunt, a sorta soul searching exercise. It has been filled with arduous amounts of dying inside, self doubt, self loathing, questioning how much I know about a lot of things, how much I know about how people work, and in general an experience that has made me many friends and one or two foes, cuz people don't like talking to a self focused, crazy passionate loser for longer than necessary.

but through the long self searching journey, I may have narrowed my choices significantly. to 5 classes and 4 aspects

-Lord/Muse, I always keep these options open, mostly Muse, because of my passive approach to things, they sorta stand as my failsafe in case NO other options lasts, as in the other classes can't check out more than any other one on this list. I know a few Lords and no Muses, since I don't measure up to the Lords in terms of being a Lord, a Muse may be likely.

-Knight, I mainly keep this option because of it's heavy ties to not feeling good enough, never feeling good enough and always improving due to this anxiety, always having to measure up, always having to try and be better because you feel like you may let everyone down if you don't get better. I sorta internally feel this conflict (#edgyteen2k17), I have intense tunnel vision for the things that I get a passion for it

Heir- I sorta feel with the Heirs tbh, like, I get how they think(right next to Dave, John and Mituna are my favorite canons to play tbh), I feel like the natural stubborn and determined nature of Heirs, as well as their jokingly not serious attitudes to serious situations, as well as the fact that I feel very disconnected from others, sorta like an extreme John on that account. I very much like how I really act like them at times(maybe in a more frustrating sense for some), and my inquisitive attitude ties to it's inverse, the Mage

Mage- this class ties to me in the fact that I tend to be a bit rude, sometimes without trying, similar to Sollux, I'm naturally inquisitive, but not to the booksmart level of a Seer, I'm not passive enough in the Information class category to be one, trust me, I've done a metric fuckton of research on mages. at the same time, I empathize with Meulin and a little bit Sollux(it's the same with Eridan in a "he was a fucking dick but he didn't deserve what Canon gave him"), I think Mages tend to be a massive help whenever I need SOME help(props to my new friend who's a Mage of Void btw, they're gr8)

Prince- This one is a little more on the superficial side of things, I'm very argumentative, and tend to act just a tad arrogant, or at least, that's what I've been told, but all Princes tend to hate a part of themselves, which is where Knights and Princes have a bit of a middle shared ground in my personality. I like, really have had some problems with self loathing, to the point where some of my longer time friends think I may be clinical(now I doubt I'm clinical, but I do admit that it goes beyond being humble, sometimes I think it's a limiter to keep myself in check, like, I put doom on myself to always remind myself that there's ALWAYS someone better than me at every little thing), Princes also have a tad of a destructive nature to them, and I implore you to look at my graveyard of dead/dying computers and TELL me that I'm not just the tiniest bit destructive haha. I've broken 8-10 computers in 2 years O_0.

Rogues are mostly there because of how I don't really often come up with my own ideas, because I tend to take ideas, mix and match them, then make something new out of that. I move shit around a lot metaphorically is what I'm saying lol

Bards come in due to mostly my sporadic nature, also because of how passive I act on a daily basis, they are sorta just there like the Lord and Muse are. as a Side thing because of the Prince option

All of these class choices are made under the assumption that I am not inverting.

Aspect options

Space- This aspect is mostly here because of the fact that I have literally been drawing since I was 5 years old, my only other skill is writing, both creative activities, I have been in the creative mindset since I drew a shitty drawing of Spongebob as a 5 year old little dwarf/gremlin. I have only honed my skills over time, perhaps due to legitimate interest, but also because other than writing, I have no other skills, that's all I have, I've only become more and more advanced, taking skills from other people, using their techniques, and just generally growing as an artist.

Time- Time is here because A) may be inverting into space, and B) Dave is one of my favorite characters to RP with, I feel with his casual demeanor(also, I sorta like skeletons(Sans and Papyrus anyone?)). I tend to move at a slow pace through life, much like a timeplayer might. The only counter evidence is I have a barely existent sense of time, like, I can tell a day has passed, but not what day it is, or what hour it is. I just sorta have a connection to the Time players, as I do the space players(maybe it's just cuz Aradia is just MAID of comedic TIMING lol)

Life- I have mostly only kept this as an option for the destruction classes, if I'm a life player, I'm a Destructive class of it.

Doom- I tend to have a pessimistic world view due to my hard time growing up(#pureedge2k17), I sorta make jokes about how we're fucked all the time, for obvious reasons, everyone knows 2k16's problems haha. I try at optimism but fail HORRIBLY, like, I legitimately give it the good ol college try, but still fail every now and then. I again really like ghosts and skeletons, one's head even being the symbol of Doom, I also have an interest in well executed fight scenes in anime, like, I REALLY like them, I love seeing a well done fight scene, maybe that's my possible space speaking cuz Aesthetics are great, but Combat is really interesting, I'd never partake in it(probably dodging most of the time if I HAD to fight, but never really throwing a punch, I'm a pacifist for pete's sake!)

Light/Void- These aspects sorta share symbolism as I sorta tend to like being in a dark space, with only a bit of light, but I don't quite have a good sense of my surroundings when in the dark, blind as shit tbh. I love learning new things, heck I love new perspectives on new things, but I may not always accept them into my personal thoughts and interpretations, I almost ALWAYS  hear them out. Void is mostly here because of my general ignorance to my surroundings and overall ignorance in the grand scheme of things, I don't even pay attention to my body all that much(but I heard that may be an Heir's trait), I'm also a little more photosensitive than others

Mind/Heart/Rage get honorable mentions due to my passionate, but also apathetic approach to things and my anger problem that has slowly gotten put under control.

shoutouts to @goodgodtier for helping me at the moment keep my brain on track to help me find out my god tier, go check out their blog, also just in general @kaiju3 they've got some good thoughts as well, they haven't directly helped me with anything, but they just have some good concepts that I've got to mention soo yea

-Gabe signing out-

[weareallfallengods]

Repost bcz the 1st one is too far down my blog

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn't going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so... ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don't need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my 'attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn't have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn't actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn't dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn't even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don't seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn't too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn't sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don't know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don't mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can't quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don't see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I'm so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it. 

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don't even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don't worry! Neither do I! ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn't really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could. 

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway. 

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don't look behind us!" 

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I'd be used to it by now. 

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don't get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually. 

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm. 

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound. 

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of. 

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did. 

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure. 

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about...that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night. 

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise. 

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck. 

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?"

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn't fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it's postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it's whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too. 

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It's thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore. 

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage. 

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn. 

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again. 

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important. 

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?” 

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me. 

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

Life Insurance- something suspicious....?

Life Insurance- something suspicious....?

Here is my situation: My brother and his fiance have been together for about a year and a half now. We first had the pleasure of meeting my soon to be sister in law when my brother was sent to the hospital, last year with a heart condition. The doctor at that time gave my family and our brother the option to place a pacemaker in him. We opted not to do so, since there is the miracle of medicines. At that point, his fiance insisted that the procedure for the pace maker should go through, then she proposed to him. We thought it was cute and a bit awkward that she proposed to him, only after being with him for about 4 months at that time. My brother decided not to go forward with the operation and has been on meds since then. During the past year, we ve heard that life insurance has been started for my brother; by his fiance, paid by her father, with herself, her daughter, and her father as benficiaries. Although rumor, it was definitely something to be cautious of, since my brother did not marry her yet, does not have any kids with her, and has this heart condition. Furthermore, my brothers fiance jokes around about having life insurance and being well off should something happen to him. Yesterday ,I might suggest one to try this site where you can get rates from different companies:

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :CARINSURANCEQUOTESHQ.XYZ

SOURCES:

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[inhalareexhalare]

Patterns and People and Common Fucking Sense

Everything was dandy up to this one moment.

Here's the stuff I got to tell Isla:

I'm on my first day so it hurtsssss

Also I'm attending a little album launch for [Theodore's] old band. Lots of awesome bands out here x_x

It's been all fun, and I hate to admit this but I'm still kinda sulky

Because the guys went ahead inside without me huhu. It's just really me though. Maybe they thought I was too scared of the crowd to enter or something.

I'm outside now since I can't focus on the music anyway. My head understands, but my emotions still are sulky. Guess I still haven't accepted the fact that they went ahead

Just takin a break from the scene~

...

Better now but I still don't want to see [Karu's] face. I feel sorta hurt :< but I know it's really just me. Cuz I'm also partly envious of how they're having fun right now without a care in the world, and I could just vanish and they wouldn't mind you know? I feel like a kid who craves for attention. Maybe I didn't really get over that from when I was an actual kid haha

Isla suggested that I could tell these people that I'm not so comfortable with being left out, and ask them if they could tell me next time when they have to go.

To Isla:

Yeah. Actually that sounds like a lot more reasonable thing to do HAHAHA

Thanks.

I feel a lot better now. :) I might even be able to face him now!

To Isla it's important that the person involved is informed so that you know that you've done your part, and it's up to them if they can adjust to it or not. If not, better have another conversation.

I feel it's important too.

Ugh why am I so stubborn? I slapped Karu's hand away by the way. I found out they went ahead without me and gathered my courage to go to the crowd and found them, and I tried to show him my hurt by pouting but it seemed too vague so he acted naturally and clasped my hand with his, as we had been doing one hour before I went alone, and I brushed it off with my other hand quite violently. Wordlessly.

Then vanished from the scene. That's when I saw I could "just vanish​ and it wouldn't matter" and I was too sad to think straight.

I actually am still sad. Even though I talk calmly and gently now, and am not aggressive/antagonistic towards Karu or anyone. I wasn't lying when I told Isla I feel a lot better. It's just that I have a completely independent internal conflict. A belief system, in my sleep, in my unconscious, rearing its horns again.

I am completely convinced that I'm a worthless piece of shit and that I don't matter and I'm ironically too self-important while knowing all these things.

I want to go away. I want to disappear.

I've been considering jumping off after I vanished. Twice maybe. But it feels too stupid. I got many things I still want to learn.

Not that I'm worth it.

Aaaah. I wanna cry alone once everyone's asleep. It's one way to take care of myself.

This un-worth belief is so persistent. And deeply rooted. I literally have to get to the bottom of it if I want to calm it down and understand it. Which is scary.

I didn't even check my phone to see if anyone left a message. I wanted an excuse. Something to confirm my inner worthlessness. Psychology calls this confirmation bias. Yes. That's how bad this is.

2019-02-24 02:00 Philippines Sunday

I ended up crying my eyeballs off anyway (figurative).

After reading my last entry, Karu went and talked about his perspective to bring additional clarity to the situation.

I took it as a reprimand. Again, the victim reflex. His voice sounded hurt and tired. I ran off to cry in secret for several minutes after my voice broke saying, "I weren't wrong, I never said that!" (meaning, I knew all along that I wasn't making sense, and that these people were just doing what they thought was right.

With the bare minimum courage necessary to move, I managed to get out of the bathroom and reenter our room. I apologized. My voice kept breaking and I didn't like it. But I had to keep apologizing. Because I seriously thought he'd want to break up tonight. I think he must be getting tired of me. I just seem to be getting worse. Or I'm just really the same and just running out of excuses to hide from.

He expressed that he was truly affected by the hand slap, since his problem is anger and rage, and he reacts especially differently when it comes to physical attacks.

But assured me that he doesn't want to break up for "a stupid reason" like getting tired of me.

Getting tired isn't a valid reason to quit training altogether, he said. 

"If I'm tired, what I need is rest (not quit)."

How stupid. It's really that simple.

He encourages me to keep going, despite it being unknown how any of us can be fixed.

Well, each individual really just has their own struggles. We define some people broken and others fixed, but maybe we're all just the same; undecided. We're all people with struggles, most of them hard to accept, even as we try hard to. And we get tired along the way.

But when you're tired, you must rest.

It's okay. So you made a mistake. Learn what you can from it. Move on to the next mission: rest. And then your next move shall depend on what you want to do about what you learned.

Okay, this time, I'm faced with a feeling of being left out again. My instinctive move is to assume these people meant to harm me, and my self worth is heavily compromised for a transient sense of comfort in a familiar hell (which is self depreciation).

(1) Find an appropriate means of communication to help them understand what you feel and what your fears are telling you. Hopefully, they make that dialogue with you and share their perspective to you, so you can understand things from a farther standpoint. (Bigger picture.)

It's important not to delay. But the point is also, however, to keep calm. So next...

(2) Focus. Breathe in deeply, and out. Look into their eyes. Don't treat them as persons in relation to you. Treat them as they are—independent complex individuals.

Okay. More things to try out.

2019-02-24 03:22 Philippines Sunday

Okay, I'm awake. I'm not done assessing myself yet.

Why is it that there are things I want to do which I think requires Karu's common presence?

Example 1, even if I had my own funds last night, I wouldn't go if Karu wouldn't. Even if I really was curious to go.

Example 2, even of I could, I wouldn't go to Cavite alone, if Karu wouldn't be coming with me. Even if I really wanted to visit.

But it's not applicable to everything.

Examples 3, If it were about visiting Isla's home or hanging out with Nynaeve, or having lunch with the Dean Team or going out with them somewhere, I would love to go on my own.

The pattern is that my decision is made partly according to the developed identity around a certain group.

Examples 1 and 2 involve groups which involve me only as a person that is related to Karu. Meaning, in those scenarios, I consider myself as an identity that won't survive, or even exist, if Karu wasn't there to be a connecting point to relate me to the group.

Examples 3 involve the groups to which I am related to as my own person. I am directly related to the mentioned people.

Okay, I get it now.

I need to step up. I need to make authentic, direct relationships with the groups that I really want to support

Yes, I do like the people from Examples 1, and 2. It's just that I developed a twisted way of relating to them, from being too overwhelmed the first time we interacted, that I didn't get to relate to them directly.

I knew it was weird that no matter what the people from those two groups found it hard to relate to me even though they seem to be used to my presence.

Mission: Focus In Crisis—Communicate with Independent Complex Individuals

Mission: Make Authentic, Direct Relationships

I'm more organized with thoughts now, but I still have some leftover demotivation. I feel like I can't do these things.

2019-02-24 10:39 Philippines Sunday

We're here, celebrating birthdays! I'm surprisingly doing well talking with people old and young. I am blending well with the kids, and I was able to extend conversations with the adults who I am not really close to yet. It really is easier to talk with them when I disconnect the fact that Karu and I are related in relation to these adults.

There are about three sibling families here~

The kids have crazy energy but I seemed to be working well with them hahaha because I'm more of a buddy to them than a babysitter I guess. Konten and Yani avoids Jerry because the little boy has an uncontrollable tongue and very poorly developed empathy and tact. He seems smart enough to be able to talk to though, so we're all cool.

2019-02-24 10:39 Philippines Sunday

[sparklyeaglepoetry-blog]

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""If i get a speeding ticket, will i receive a notice from insurance?

So i got a speeding ticket in CA. I got the ticket in the mail and payed it and am now going to traffic school so that my insurance wont go up. Will the insurance company send me a notice regarding the ticket even if my rates don't go up?

Do I need to get a SR-22 in Texas?

I got arrested for a DWI and I have 40 days until my license gets suspended at which time I am supposed to get a work license. I understand I have to get a SR-22 but when do I need to do this? Does the court tell me to get a SR-22 or am I just supposed to know I need one and go out and get one?

I need insurance. Im 18 What do I do?

I turned 18 about 4 months ago and ive been trying to get my licence but my mom won't let me because she thinks I need to be insured as soon as i get my licence. I live in OR. they can't afford my insurrance and i dont have time for a job im an honors student in High school. next year im going away and would like to be driving by then. so my questions are. 1. do i need insurance as soon as i get my license? 2. can i drive my moms car (for example to the store and back) without insurance? How about someone elses car? 3. What is the best insurance for me to get? The quotes ive gotten are about 250 PER MONTH. I want to have a car next year but i wont have time to work with the courses im taking in college. how do i pay for my insurance next year.

Why do NEW drivers complain about how much it costs to insure there cars.?

Numbers DO NOT tell lies! my Sister works at a car insurance brokers and she told me The number of new drivers who are involved in accidents is UNREAL You CANT actually drive a car correctly when you have just passed your test (I know you think you can but you cant) So therefore you are a liability to other road users and therefore have to pay more to insure your car.

How long can a Insurance company in the state of Tennessee look back on your driving record?

I had a wreck two years ago this October, I was wondering how long an insurance company can look back on my record? Its been two years since I have had any wrecks or tickets but my rates are still high, I was thinking if I switch companies and didnt tell them about the wreck I would have a clean record?""

Can you sue an Insurance company...?

If the policy holder's maximum coverage, has been reached..... For example, if someone died as a result of an accident. The other driver was at fault but has not assets, can the family of the victim sue the Insurance Company of the other driver, for more than their max coverage. Like a wrongful death lawsuit for 1million dollars, is the insurance company still liable?""

Can She Still Get Health Insurance?

My girlfriend and I are moving out to South Dakota in a few months and I was wondering if she would still be covered under her mom's insurance. She is a full-time student and lives with her mother in Wyoming goes to school in Nebraska. She will however be living with me in South Dakota but still a full-time student. Is she still covered under her mothers insurance even though she will not be living under her mother's roof? Thanks!

Auto State Farm insurance almost up?

I just looked at my auto insurance card that it expires next month.....i still want to keep it so do i have to call them to renew it or something, or do they call you ?""

Car Insurance Costs.?

Coverage Type: Your Basic needs Collision: $250 Deductible Comprehensive: $250 Deductible Medical: None Bodily Injury Liability: $100,000/300,000 Limit Property Damage: $50,000 Limit Towing: Yes Rental Reimbursement: None ^^ Does anyone have an clue towards how much that would be monthly?""

What is the point of car insurance?

Im 15, and of course im thinking about getting a drivers license. I feel bad for my parents though, cause they have to pay for the insurance, and its going to be more money than my sisters insurance cause im a guy, and it costs more for some unkown reason. So I thought I would just be a safer driver and just not get insurance. I asked my parents about it and they told me it was illigal NOT to get car insurance. so I said, well, at least if I do get in a car reck, it will be covered and they replied; you have to pay for it anyways. three questions: Why is car insurance illigal to not get? What is the point of car insurance if it doesnt help cover accident costs? And why does gieco and other companies advertise if its illigal not to get it? Thnx so much!""

How much will my insurance be if im 16?

Well im 16 and I just got my license 2 days ago and I want to get insurance on a 2005 wrx sti sedan and we just got this car no one is insured on this car yet and I want to know how much the insurace will be per month or year, I havent had any tickets yet and never crashed. Can someone please help more or atleast give me an estimate or educated guess if you dont know. Thanks to anyone who helps.""

What car companies have the highest insurance rates?

Highest to lowest would be a good way to list them for me.

Why is mandatory auto insurance to make sure other drivers can be reimbursed for my actions ok?

But mandatory insurance to make sure doctors and hospitals can be reimbursed for my healthcare is considered socialism?

How much people can be on someone's auto insurance?

is there a limit to how many people/vehicles can be insured under one person's name? lets say, can a person insure his car and himself, as well as his 2 sons cars and his 2 ...show more""

What is the minamum insurance required for a motorcycle in Arizona?

I just bought a bike and am looking at insurance, but don't know what all is required by the state.""

What is the best car insurance company for a graduate student?

What is the best car insurance company for a graduate student?

Car insurance rates for massachusetts?

I'm a new driver in Massachusetts and I was wondering what the average cost for car insurance is. I read from a place that it would cost about $3,500 and that seemed unreasonably high.""

car insurance quote adelaide

car insurance quote adelaide

How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?

How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?

Cheapest Car Insurance Company In NY?

Hey i am really need to help with car insurance. Is my first time buying a car and i am really looking for a good deal for a car insurance company here in NY. Either the cheapest or the one that you personally recommend for my age (21 years old) I really appreciate your time. I have been searching for a lot of them before i make a call.

""What is the punishment for a second offence of driving without insurance ,within a one year period?""

What is the punishment for a second offence of driving without insurance ,within a one year period?""

What's the cheapest car for insurance?

What's the cheapest car for insurance?

Do i need insurance to be under my name when taking my drivers test?

so im taking my drivers test soon and i need to know if i have to get insurance under my name on the car..my mom does have insurance on the car i will be using but only under her name..so will i have to add my name to the insurance just to take the drivers test? i live in california

""Insurance rates for a 21 year old male, CA?""

I got my license when I was 19. I've been driving for two and a half years and barely found out I am not on my parents insurance. I was planning on buying a brand new car but I am now worried about insruance rates. I know they'll be high, but how high. I know insurance rates are based on age and experience. Is it likely I will be charged more because I have never been insured? Last time I checked for insurance I got calls for about 5 weeks straight. This time I don't want to give out any personal information. My question basically is will never previously having insurance before affect my rates?""

Mandated Health Insurance is different from Mandated Auto Insurance how?

The Supreme Court will be deciding if the government can force us to buy health insurance from a private corporation. The government forces us to buy auto liability insurance from a private corporation. I am at a loss to see the difference.

I need cheap motorcycle insurance. Cant afford the ridiculous $1500 insurance for a $3000 bike.?

And I need full coverage. Any idea? I'm getting the new 2008 ninja. I'm an experienced rider, but I have no record of motorcycling at all. I used to ride in my country. But here, nope. no record. All i can do to reduce my insurance cost is take the MSF course. Dont even have an american driver's/motorcycler's license yet.""

Does anybody know about cars and car insurance?

im a black female 20 years old im never had a car and im looking for one off craigslist and I found one that I might like http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/cto/4263348989.html I know I have to register the car in my name and get a license plate and I have nooo idea how much that cost. im also trying to find the best insurance at a good price and what not someone please help mee!!! I want to know prices and all. and I only have a permit but in march I will get my license. tell me about signing and everything.... by the way im in homestead fl but not for long I will be going back home in west palm beach in mid march.

What is the average of a full coverage insurance for a new 2014 sedan in NJ ?

What is the average of a full coverage insurance for a new 2014 sedan in NJ ?

My car insurance in RI?

I have car insurance in Rhode Island and my son lives with me. When I went to lower my coverage I found that my son had been included in the policy as a driver. I do not let him drive my car at all and they said that since he is licensed and living with me he is automatically included in the policy. This sounded to me as so much hogwash and I hope that someone can fill me in on this weird rule.

""How do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling?""

how do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling when I'm writing a business plan? We finally have found a great location for a bar and grill we have wanted to open and a business plan requires a lot of estimating costs and I want to find the most accurate figures so that I can set myself up for success.""

How could car insurance cost more a month than the value of the car?

Yes I'm under 21, No I don't have a single ticket , or driving violation . How could insurance on a 500 dollar cherokee cost 290$ a month? In two months thats the value of the car! Its BS there has to be a way to get insurance for cheaper than that. Anybody know of any place? And please don't say Classic insurance as all of them you have to be 25 or older.""

My Car Insurance Company Is Telling Us To Add My Two Sons Into My Policy.?

My sons had their license for a while now. Few months if I'm correct. They are 18 and one is 16 turning 17 in a month. Ever since they got their license, they haven't drove because they didn't have insurance. I refused when they asked because the cost was about $250 a month for each. We live in California and have State Farm. Recently, I've been getting mails and calls that I NEED to add them to my policy. I was wondering is it was really necessary because they never drive and they don't have access to my car. I only have two keys to my car and I keep it with me all the time and I'm a house mom. So the point is, they never drove the car and never will until they get insurance. So my question is, do I really have to add both of them to my policy? and if I do, do I have to pay? and if so, how much? Would it be the same as what I was told when I first asked about the cost of insurance? Which is $500 dollars a month for both.""

Sport bike insurance?

I am an 18 year old male living in Fargo North Dakota. I plan on purchasing a 2014 Kawasaki ninja 300 sport bike for daily commuting and just general transportation. I would be in college and most likely using it daily, weather permitting. I do not have any previous riding experience, but I will take a safety class and of course have a valid motorcycle license. What can I realistically expect my insurance rate to approximately be?""

First time driver...really need insurance help?

ok, so i am 17 and i just bought a car. i live in CA and i really need to find auto insurance for cheap. i know its really expensive for a first time driver to get insurance for themselves, so if anyone knows of an insurance company that does not charge that much i would greatly appreciate a response. thanx""

DO I QUALIFY FOR DISABILITY INSURANCE ?

I HAVE PAID INTO MY DISABILITY INSUURANE FOR MANY YEARS. I RECENTLY LOST MY JOB BUT GOT ANOTHER ONE WORKING ON A AS NEEDED BASIS, NO INSURANCE, NO RETIREMENT. THEY CALL ME IN MAYBE ONCE A WEEK TO COVER. THIS JOB IS HARD MANUAL LABOR AND BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR A WHILE MY BACK HAS BEEN DAMAGED. I HAVE CONSTANT PAIN THAT WILL NOT GO AWAY. MY QUESTION IS COULD I GO OUT ON DISABILITY FROM THIS JOB EVEN THOUGH I AM AN ONCALL EMPLOYEE? THANKS""

What would be cheaper to insure for a 16 year old 2003 lancer evo or a 2008 subaru wrx?

what would be cheaper to insure for a 16 year old 2003 lancer evo or a 2008 subaru wrx i get good grades i live with my parents and i could raise the deductible if needed what one would be cheaper to insure.

How long until I lose my health insurance?

I left my job on August 17, 2012. I had Cigna Health Insurance. How long until I get the letter that says I don't have it anymore?""

Should I drop my comprehensive insurance to liability only on my car?

My van is from 1999 and it is paid off. The only thing is I am not confident in my driving skills. I have enough money to buy another car though. I have 130,000 miles on the van. I was going to drive it until it falls apart or starts costing me too much money in repairs.""

I need to sue someone who hit my car with no insurance or license?

however I live in Arizona and I need to know the statute of limitations... I couldn't find anything online unfortunatly. Can anyone help ? My accident was Feb 2009

What model Acura Integra is the best for customization and performance?

What model Acura Integra is the best for customization and performance And based on your answer what would insurance be (16 yrs old) and how much is the car itself.

I'm pregnant. How do I get health insurance?

I haven't had any health insurance in a year. My husband can add me to his health insurance in Dec. Baby is due on March. Will they cover me? I live in SC and I am worried they will have a long waiting period. What should I do. We make too much for Government help.

How can I get a license if I don't have a car to insure with SR 22 insurance?

I am not capable of driving. My husbands license was revoked between 2005 and 2006 in Illinois.To have it reinstated, he says he was told he had to have SR 22 insurance in that state. We now live in Reno, Nevada. Does that demand still apply, or is it even true? I certainly hope not because that leaves us in a very sticky situations, as we do not -own- a car to insure. As I understand it, he would need a license, so he could buy a car, so he could insure it. Essentially if he were to need SR 22 insurance to get a driverse license, he would need to follow quite a circular demand, being that to get a car, he needs a lisense, but to get a license, he needs SS 22 insurance, but to get insurance, he needs a car. So you see his predicament if that is what we need to do. If this is the case, it's impossible for him to get either a license or a car. Is there non-owner insurance? We are rather young and do not have any relatives in this state to help answer these tough questions or help us out financially.""

Cheapest Car to Insure on 18 Year Old Male ?

Hi everyone, I'm Victor, 18 Year Old Male which has Just passed his driving test. Now, here comes the hard part. The F*cking Insurance! What car is cheap to insure, I don't mind going as a 2nd driver even third becuase I'm unemplyed at the momment but once back in a job I will be the 1st Driver to gain my NCB. So I will most likely be a 2nd driver (I know its ilegal) BUT here's the thing I'm only using the car to get to college and back, it's not a full time driving expirience so in a sense, yes I won't be breaking the law!. My dad will most likely be using the car to get around with shopping etc during nights, weekends. I just genuinly need the car to get from A to B (Work and College). I have 900 to spend on any car, I've been quoted on my fathers Vectra (O8) 1000, which is really good but what riddles with me is that I know that car has a high fuel compsumption. HELP ME!! I've read a ford mondeo is cheap to insure, but there's the clue, I Heard . No body knows is true. So I leave it to you my dear clever people. Help.""

car insurance quote adelaide

car insurance quote adelaide

Unemployment Insurance for Teenagers?

The business I have worked at for 3 years has just announced they are shutting their doors at the end of the month. I am only 17 but have been told that I am still able to apply for unemployment benefits...which I know next to nothing about. Basically, I've only worked 10-20 hours a week for a wage slightly above minimum. It's just been a part time job for me since I'm a student and involved in several sports and challenging classes. However, I'm still trying to save money for college, so...what do I actually get when I file for unemployment and am hunting for a job? Anything? Sorry if this question sounds ditzy...I don't know much about the workforce.""

Can an insurance company pull up police records?

Can an insurance company pull up police records on me without my consent?

Is a jeep grand cherokee overland reliable w.cheap insurance for 16 yr old?

15 now looking to get one possibly is it good for me

My insurance premium has doubled.how can they do this!(ireland)?

I put in a small claim of 600 year last year.I am full comp for four years.I have a full licence.I am a lady driver.I havent moved house.My claim is settled.some insurance companies has refused to quote me.they say it is not in there policy to do so.They wont give me this in writing as this is not there policy either.At the time of the claim i was told verbaly that my insurance would not go up more than 150 euros.

Can anyone recommend any car insurance companies to me that are pretty cheap?

Just bought a new car yesterday and need to get it insured before i go pick it up. I'm a 19 year old female and passed my test on august 27th last year so havent even been driving a year yet...dunno if that helps at all lol the cheapest quote i got so far is 920 annual...does anyone think this is the cheapest i'll get.

Approximately how much would Comprehensive car insurance be for these luxury cars?

Im currently doing an assignment where I have to compare running costs of three different cars. I can't get an online quote for comprehensive insurance for these three luxury cars: Let's say the driver is a 30 year old with a perfect history/driving record. BMW 740i (Price: $183,000) Audio RS4 (Price: $187,500) Mercedes CLK-63 AMG (Price: $199,100) How much do you think APPROXIMATELY, the comprehensive car insurance would be for each of these cars? (Annual) AS A GUIDE.""

What are the regular insurance cost of these cars. (without deduction or add cost)?

Porsche Nissan 350 Honda S2000 and also give me a recommendation on a nice not that expensive, good sporty looking car, lol.""

I want a car! what car(s)do you recommend to buy for a new driver?

cars that are new (not broken down second hand cars) and come with cheap car insurance for new drivers please help me!

Where is the cheapest place to get insurance for a 17 years old?

Where is the cheapest place to get insurance for a 17 years old?

Car insurance - why isnt it cheaper?

My partner and I have just sold our car. It was a Vauxhall Astra TDi 1.9 Diesel 56plate. We are looking for a little run around car thats cheaper to run. I found a Daewoo Matiz SE 796cc X reg petrol. Apparently its group 2 insurance but its just as expensive as our old car. Would this be right if none of our details have changed???

How much has your health insurance gone up since the affordable health care act was passed?

I just got notice mine went up by 33.5% last week. Why is my insurance getting less affordable instead of more affordable?

Does color of car affect insurance rates?

In the market for brand new car. Does color matter with insurance? I've heard red is most expensive.

Can you cancel a car insurance policy and take a new one with a different company the next day?

My girlfriend is currently paying 197 a month for her car insurance, but we did a quote with another company will all legit details and they have quoted her 880 for the year. Can i ring up and cancel her current policy and take out a new with with this other company? or are there issues With doing this""

Wtf going on with my car insurance?

i,am 30 years old i have been driving for 13 years i have never claimed off my own insurance been involved in one accident i was hit from the rear when i was stationary so the other persons insurance company paid all the costs not mine and yet this time last year i paid 350 fully comp this year they want 1200 are they taking the p**s why has it gone up so high ?""

Could I make my own car insurance?

What makes a car insurance legal. If I were to have my own company and say I ensure myself could I be legal

Home content insurance?

I am new to the UK. In Japan, few people buy home content insurance because home contents are normally not valuable. It seems to me most people here buy home content insurance. It sounds not attractive a)the premium b)the high excess. What is your view?""

How much did your car insurance rate increase when your 16 year old began driving?

he amount my insurance went up may have nothing to do with your insurance increase. There are way, way too many variables""

How much would it cost to be put on my dad's insurance?

I have a provisional license and i'd like to know how much it would cost my dad to put me on his insurance???? and please don't give me any links to confused.com i tried it doesn't help me and don't tell me to ring the insurance company because i'm going to today.... I was hoping you could just give me an estimate like... how much a month? or whatever.... thanks in advance

I give my dad my whole paycheck but he hasn't been paying my car insurance?

I am 22 yrs old and live at home with crazy, controlling parents. I work part time and go to school full time. I have no credit, etc etc so they make me live at home and go to school nearby. My job (which is with my mother) recently cut my hours down to part time, but I was lucky because they laid off many people. I get paid around $450 every 2 weeks. My parents are constantly crying about money and I closed out my bank account so as to give them my full check with the understanding that they would help pay my student loans and car insurance. I got into a car crash where I was rear ended and I was the driver, so I received no fault. One month later, I was rear ended AGAIN and again, no fault because I was not at fault for either accident. It came out that I HAVE NO CAR INSURANCE and that my dad was not paying for any insurance because I am not even listed as a driver! I also have no health or dental insurance! (He is a psychiatrist, a doctor, and makes decent money. My mother is a social worker) So now since I have been in 2 accidents and no insurance, my dad won't let me drive and either he or my mother drives me to both work and school. However, they pay for my brother to go away to college and his health insurance, phone bill, and car insurance without question. When I ask why they won't put the car in my name and give me insurance, they say it would be $4,000 a month, which I know is very far from the truth. They also say they are working on getting me car insurance, but the accident occurred over a month ago. How long does it take to get car insurance so I can drive myself places?? What is my best course of action in this psychotic situation?""

Which car would be cheapest on insurance?

Nissan 350z Honda s2000 ford mustang v6 Infiniti g35 coupe

Car insurance for 17 year old?

my son will be driving my car for a couple times, so do i have to put him as a name under my insurance? and if i get him a car in a few months what is a reliable insurance company that is affordable?""

Insurance on 03 infiniti g35 for 17 year old?

How much is the insurance if they have 2 cars on the policy?

In Northern California on average how much does the minimal amount of gas and insurance cost per month ?

I'm 18 and looking into buying my first car this year. From my understanding the cheapest of Vehicles could be anywhere from $500-$1000 dollars. Since I'm doing this alone I'm asking you from your own personal experiences with car finances.

How do Life Insurance companies make money?

If you get a 500,000 dollar policy pay 250 a month that would take 2000 years for them to make the money back. How do they make more money then they put out?""

""What is Cheaper, Insurance Group 6E or 4P?""

What is Cheaper, Insurance Group 6E or 4P""

car insurance quote adelaide

car insurance quote adelaide

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-teenage-male-russell-elliott/"

[raining-down-on-the-system]

Not gunna lie (a sorta update turned long rambley and dissociative

Crap's been bad. Stressful and hard are the best ways to describe the last 3(?) ish months... It seems like just as everything gets back to "normal" something else comes up... The vast majority has been external stress and happenings. Now though, certain things are transferring to internal bs too and there's literally nothing anyone of us can do about it. Our probably lowest functioning alter in our section was apparently just starting to make sounds, from what I understand there wasn't really anything close to words but sounds alone are a big deal for her. Well somehow word of this got to a persecutor - I really am not comfortable naming anyone here...idk it's all really personal and still really fresh so, yeah, you guys understand... - anyway our persecutor got a hold of her and brought her back to the section over, which none of us /but/ this particular alter has access to (unless she brings you there herself.. obviously) which is REAL damn concerning bc she won't tell anyone - including my bf who she's got a good relationship/trust with (or at least it seems.. idk I'm really sketched out by this tbh) - why/ for what purpose she brought her over there, or anyyyy details surrounding it besides just "it's Otherside stuff, don't worry about it" or hella vague statements like that... (Otherside is the name of the section over from... us? Lol idk how to word it, I don't wanna say "main section" but like???? We literally just call the section we're all in "Inside", the whole of the inner space is called "inner world" like.. 'normal' to differentiate, even though it's super close.. basically we've never been able to agree on a name for our section) Anywayyyy the worry is abuse happening innerworld/ Otherside more specifically based on what we know of her and Otherside.. I'd have to check the dates cuz I'm not 100% positive, but I'm fairly sure this all lines up with some intense and sudden family stress that I don't plan on going into due to contents of it.. idk why I feel the need to explain myself... pretty sure anyone following me who bothers to read all this will probably understand how sensitive content can be difficult/ triggering for both the writer and reader.. this is a damn DID system blog for fucks sake. But point being I'm super concerned for what this could mean, especially as far as unraveling trauma, because tbh I've basically been avoiding that like the plague in therapy... like I'm a crazy curious person by nature, and I want to learn all there is to learn, but am also like a pro at deflecting emotion and (trying to remember how my therapist says it and failing apparently lol) - I legit give up on the end of this sentence I've been trying to figure out the words or even remember for the last like 5mins but I'm tired and starting to dissociate and ughhhhhhhhh....... this is annoying but I just really want to be able to finish my vent... So attempting to continue on... I'm like no good at accepting/ dealing with trauma or anything when presented with it - except occasionally when it's presented purely as fact and void of emotional backing, intent or charge.. lol - which is part of why my bf and I work so well together, were both lower empathy so we often step back and speak theoretically and non emotionally which works really well for us especially when problem solving and stuff. Ok but I've lost track of what I was trying to say again. But I'm keeping all this cuz it's helping me process I think so I can hopefully stop thinking myself in circles RIGHT ok trauma work.. yeah I'm scared shitless of it even though some sick part of me desperately wants to know... And pieces of things are starting to fall together a lot quicker than I would like all of a sudden and too many things are fitting logically together to come up with a most and more than likely scenario of early life events that was only really theorized by me until now and idk that I'm ready to accept this it's too damn much too quick like I had my ideas but I also kinda thought it was all bullshit and nothing would come of it and I'd just be a stupid and crazy young adult with differing issues than originally suspected but I think that's exactly the "cover up" if that makes any sense. It's my safety screen because I'm too much of a p*ssy to face up to any of it... Whelp... congratulations Tumblr... you've officially seen my thought process in writing as I slowly dwindle into dissociation and an existential crisis simultaneously... that's just great.... I'm not deleting any of this tho because I want the record of it tomorrow so I can get it down on paper or something... My therapist is gunna love this lol (like in the sense that she'll approve of me looking emotionally at events and such and communicating them.. at least I hope so?? Hi Stace!!!! lol it's me from the past!!! F*ckin trippy! K but seriously do you approve cuz now I'm paranoid and probs might cry but actually also probably not... just sayin) Guys Idk how to deal with this... imma be honest I'm freaking tf out by everything happening all around me. Like now I can't escape it regardless of where I go - not that that matters because amnesia is still being a regular bitch which I blame on the constant stress???? Does anyone else have that problem??? Amnesia getting worse while more stressed I mean, not just like switching more or something, specifically forgetting any switch. Cuz for a while communication was getting better and now it's gotten worse again.... Normal? Anyone?! ALSOooooooo I'm going through a phase of remembering my dreams right now and with all the stress (and how vivid they always are anyway) they've gotten extra weird and uncomfortable and are pulling ideas from like every corner of our waking life and meshing them together into confusing and jagged (that's not the word but the closest approximation I can make right now) dreammares... like they're not quite nightmares but they leave us with this sense of unease for sureeee... I could still hear the small child from my dream screaming for like 5mins after I woke up... (in the head, not like a hallucination) which leads me to believe it was possibly actually coming from somewhere inside but I don't really have a good way to confirm that and again with the whole curious bit a pussy thing I kinda don't wanna knowww.............. but I do but I really don't but I also do so like... fucking send help???/!!!?!?!?!? K I'm don't writing I'm a fucking mess and I can't tell my ceiling from a sea cave right now... -Jinxy

[canaryatlaw]

So today was fine I'm just a little compromised in my feelings about it at the moment because my back is KILLING me like it hurts so badly right now and I have no idea why and this is so incredibly frustrating. If I end up going to physical therapy or whatever and find out this is being driven by my exercising kick and I can't be doing that anymore or something I'm going to want to punch a wall (which especially won't be good because I'm not supposed to be doing that anymore) because I'm just so damn frustrated. Like I feel like I can't try to do anything to like get in shape without my body (or mind) majorly backfiring on me and like GOD I'm just so fucking sick of it, I just want to kick some ass, is that really too much to ask??? And I want to be skinny and pretty and......I don't want to go down that discussion path tonight though. This is just background info. I should focus back on my day. So. It was fine. Alarm went off at 7 and I made myself get up like I've been doing, and got ready and made it to my office by 8:50 because I'm super prompt and responsible and shit, so I spoke with the lawyer then printed out my questions (btw I don't think I mentioned this but this particular lawyer guy is SOO cute but he's married and has like 4 adorable daughters [everyone keeps up their congratulations you had a baby signs on their doors for years] and I'm like 95% sure I saw him and his family at a loan forgiveness thing for alums my school had back in the fall, but just if you were wondering haha. So we go to court and I sit in the back because other people are out and about on cases, nothing too interesting, just your typical stuff. After not too long we find out the girl who we were doing the permanency hearing for isn't gonna be here today and it was just her caseworker, but since she's 17 they wanted her to be there so they ended up rescheduling for like, one of the two weeks I'm gonna be in NY haha but oh well it's no big deal. After we came back up from court lawyer guy was like "oh I have something you can do" and introduces me to one of the more straight up bizarre cases I've encountered there, and that's saying something. So, 7 years ago. Mom and dad are polish citizens living in the US. Mom gives birth to twins, who have dual citizenship due to being born in the US to polish citizen parents. At 1 month old twin girl ends up in the ER with a skull fracture, and skull fractures on infants that young is a mandatory call to DCFS (because it's really hard to fracture your skull on your own when you can't move that much, though of course it's acknowledged that accidents do happen and not every single one is documented abuse) and basically the story dad was saying (he was feeding her and she suddenly arched her back and her head hit the arm of the rocking chair) didn't match up with the injury, so the DCP took protective custody but from the start it looked like they weren't gonna keep the kids long because it was obviously a weak case, just throw some services in there to make sure they'll be okay and we'll be on our way. Now, wouldn't that have been nice? But of course no, that's not what happens. Parents are doing good so the courts grant them unsupervised day visits like a month after the case came in (which is super quickly) and on their first unsupervised visit they promptly took the twins and boarded a plan to Poland never to return to the US. Oh. Now, if you don't exactly see what the issue is here, it's that the parents don't have custody of those children- it's akin to kidnapping, like when a non-custodial parent kidnaps one of their kids. So this just became an international parental kidnapping case, which is apparently a thing the department of state has a whole bureau devoted to....the more you know...but of course all of this was 7 years ago. Today, it's relevant because the judge wants to close the case on the grounds that the kids are in Poland and we haven't seen them in 7 years and we can't exactly extradite their parents to stand trial for kidnapping because//reasons. I was reading a lot on the law and The Hague convention for all this and like, legally there's no reason they shouldn't have been able to get the kids back, but they just didn't. They did at some point get a polish social worker to go and check on the kids and she said all seems fine there, and that's kind of been it up to this point. So lawyer guy wanted me to come up with a timeline on the case and find out what was the deal with "flagging passports" because someone in the file said they had done that. So I take the file and my hand dandy Google search bar and go to work. Turns out there's a program where you can register your kid to alert the govt if someone applies for a passport for them, like basically if you're worried a noncustodial parent is gonna kidnap your kid. The file referred to them applying to that problem but never said if they were successful in doing so. At this point if they wanted to come back to the US on US passports they would have to reapply for the kids because if you're under 16 your passport is only good for 5 years (the more you know...), and theoretically that would notify the govt and we could get the kids back. Now, here's the thing though. The kids have polish passports. They left the country on polish passports their parents were able to obtain for them. So now I'm trying to figure out how we would be able to track that down and I basically come across a FAQ that straight up says there is no way to actually track an active passport and we have zero authority to flag a passport from another country, and that was pretty much it for that question, lol, seemed pretty finalized. The case is weird because our office's position is the case should only be closed if it's in the best interest of the child but at the same time like what are they gonna do?? I know they're trying to get in touch with social services and are going back and forth with the embassy on stuff, but I mean they've been at this for 7 years with minimal progress so I don't know how much else they can actually do. I read the social workers report from when she visited them, and she said the mother was "visibly distressed that what she considered to be a painful misunderstanding was not fully behind them" and the moral of the story here kids is if your kid gets hurt and you take them to the ER, don't lie about how they got the injury, or you'll probably get yourself in more trouble than you would've if the truth just made you look slightly incompetent (now if your kid got hurt because you were legit being negligent or God forbid you hurt the child that's a different story but you're screwed regardless and you should be for treating a child like that) because who knows what actually happened there?? But yeah, crazy weird case. I spent the rest of the day making the timeline that I was almost done with by the time the day ended. So I went over to class and we had our pre-trial conferences for our final trials next week where we worked out Pretrial motions. Like I said, my partner did all the work writing the motions because I was drowning in appellate brief this weekend (that I'm now done with thank god) and he wasn't, and he's a smart kid so I trust him. We had to wait for the other group to go first, and it was a little awkward because I didn't know the facts of the case all that well (cuz I've read it like, twice) but I managed to wedge some good points in there and I think it worked out. He let the reputation evidence in because it can be crossed on (typical defense attorney, lol) but he let in the prior conviction for the defendant which we can also use to impeach when they try to argue the defendant had a peaceful character (which is something you can do in self-defense cases). So overall I was pretty satisfied with how it worked. Somewhere in all that mess, I forgot to mention I had emailed my appellate brief to myself so I could give it some final edits and send it to get printed, so I had a bit to do that and sent it to kinkos which is apparently now just fedex lol but to the one right by my school because apparently they get those assignments all the time so they know what to do with them (it's somewhat complicated with a certain binding and color cover and all that). So I got that finished, then at some point before we started our Pretrial conference I realized I forgot to update the word count after my edits. Fuck. Now it's not as big of a deal as it would've been if I'd like gone over the word limit and lied about it but I know they'd figure it out and it would not look good for me. So after class ended relatively early I ran down to that store and begged the woman to help me and she was a total lifesaver and just reprinted the page for me with the correct word count (the final total was 8,362 words and 34 pages) and I was so relieved. I was also rather tired at this point and didn't really feel like taking the train home, so I just got a Lyft for pretty cheap and had a good convo with the driver, before I even mentioned anything about law school he was talking about violence on the south side and kids ending up at the "Audy Home" which is the old nickname for the juvenile court building that also houses the juvenile temporary detention center and I was just like "oh, I actually work there" (and if you're wondering, yes it does unnerve me every day to work in a building where there are children locked up in it) so we started talking about all that and he was just like "okay you've obviously heard enough about this, lets let you talk about something happy" haha which I thought was nice, so we talked and laughed about my unintentional ability to bring every conversation around to a discussion on societal ills, lol. So it was a pleasant ride home at least. I got home right around 8:30 and when I turned on my tv and saw the recording programs I remembered prison break was on right now, which had somehow slipped my mind up till this point, so I started it from the beginning. It was very much a set up episode I felt like, but I feel like they did an excellent job setting up the rest of the season because DAMN I am so excited for it. Seeing Michael actually be "Michael" was awesome and goddammit I already hate Hank so much (and do not give any shits that that's not his real name) I just want him to get killed off so he's conveniently out of the way. But yeah, I was very enthralled with it overall and I might go into some more details but it is 1:20 am and although I can sleep in in the morning I should still be getting to bed eventually. But after that I watched the new episode of Brooklyn 99 which god I missed that show SO MUCH and injured Gina is injured me in every way, broken foot or broken wrist haha so I loved seeing those lovable dorks again. Then I had two episodes of trial and error to watch for some reason so I did that and enjoyed them immensely, even if I can't quite detach myself enough to not point out each time they majorly misconstrue a legal plot point (I know it's a giant parody, but still, you know me). And yeah, that was about it and I'm tired since I've been up since 7 so I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight loves. Have a good sleep.