#stupid bs keeps happening and I'm over it

[corrose]

Man. I need to get out of this company ASAP.

[hiding-under-the-willow]

You ever write some shit where you're like 'oh yeah I'm totally just describing what this guy is doing in his free time nothing else im just setting the scene it's unnecessarily detailed for no particular reason' and then realize you are in fact just info dumping about some shit you are interested in actually

[qqueenofhades]

can you assuage my creeping fear about the debate between harris and trump? my brain is like. the media will be salivating over any chance to get the story HARRIS FLUBS THE DEBATE MORE AT 6 unless she's 100% perfect for it. i keep telling myself that she's an incredibly seasoned prosecutor who knows exactly what to do to unravel these sorts of people, she has plenty of time to prepare, he's completely gone over the edge into incoherence most of the time, but i also keep thinking of how, after weeks of her absolutely pile-driving the republican party, the media will be circling for any mistake, mis-step, or imperfection to blow out of proportion to make it seem like she's failing. i guess what i'm afraid of is the other shoe dropping? or the bubble bursting? i'm afraid of this hope?

i was barely aware of obama in 2008, too young to vote and not paying attention, so i don't know how this kind of momentum turned into the juggernaut that got him elected. i know you believe that the same can happen here, how did he take on the predatory press?

Well, first, we need to recognize that the media treatment of the debate WILL be wildly unfair, full stop. If Trump shows up and puts on pants, he will be applauded by the media, because they have the lowest imaginable bar where he is concerned and everything that would have been multiply-disqualifying for any other candidate makes them just shrug and find a way to make excuses for him. So yes, he will literally be congratulated if he shows up on September 10, because that is how the media works. See: three relentless weeks of bullying Biden out of the race after the bad debate, barely mentioning Trump's equally insane diatribes at the same debate, and now, when he's gone full-on demented and is raving about AI-generated crowds at Kamala's events? Nary a peep. Lol.

However, the main narrative that's emerging from the Harris takeover is that voters and the media are miles apart on where they actually see this race going, and without the media's favorite chew toy of Biden's shortcomings, it has become increasingly difficult to avoid focusing on Trump's flaws, even tangentially. See the mainstream media reporters whining constantly that Harris hasn't given them a press conference and congratulating Trump for lying to them nonstop for an hour; they simply have no frame of reference that's remotely useful, because they are so beholden to making Trump look like a normal candidate and focusing on Harris's "flaws" as if they are remotely comparable to his. But at the same time, there has been a far heightened level of pushback on this BS manipulation, and everybody can see through it, precisely because the media and/or the right-wing smear machine has tried this so many times before and their tactics are now completely transparent. Ordinary voters don't give a shit whether Harris WiLl tAkE qUesTioNs fRoM tHe mEdiA; they're too busy flooding her campaign with donations, attending her rallies, signing up for volunteer shifts, and so forth. In fact, the reason the media is trying SO HARD to kill her momentum is because they, like Trump, rely on doing so. The more they try and don't succeed, the more panicked they'll get. We have to prepare for that, and we have to have her back.

That said, we should recall that Harris easily crushed Pence in their debate in 2020, and Pence was actually halfway presentable at it compared to Trump (which is a low bar, but still). The way Trump "wins" is that he just repeats a lot of lies forcefully and over and over, which Biden was ill-prepared to counter because he has a far more deliberate and decisive speaking style (related to stutter/speech difficulties, temperament as a politician, etc). Everything that I have seen from the Harris campaign in terms of communication so far, however, has been the exact kind of clapback that makes Trump look stupid and which shows that they are very attuned to the kind of strategies that work against that nonsensical bullying Gish gallop. Therefore, I have to trust that they have INTENSIVELY studied what went wrong with Biden/Trump in June, and also empowered Kamala to do what she does in her fashion and which has been extremely successful thus far at knocking down Trump's BS. Also, she's just a better and more fluent communicator than Biden, she looks and sounds more energetic, and those stupid aesthetic Vibes are half of the battle when it comes to convincing the public.

Also, we should recognize that Trump looked deeply creepy on stage at the debates with HRC in 2016, and that was when he was downright sane compared to now. He stalked her, he stood behind her, he rolled his eyes, he bullied her, and people noticed that (he subsequently won the election, yes, but if nothing else, 2024 feels nothing like 2016). If he has to stand on stage with a black woman kicking his ass, after his appearance at the NABJ event in Chicago quickly became a touchstone for how badly he fucked it up, he is going to just look BAD, and when that's the case, people will immediately fit it into the existing narrative (that he's scared of Harris and deeply racist and unglued). You can also play your part in making sure it does. At least half of the Bidengate furor came from Democrats melting down and yelling about it afterward, and that led into the knives-out media coverage that spiraled for 3.5 weeks until Biden withdrew. We can, yknow, NOT DO THAT this time!

So: yeah. We have to be aware that yes, the media coverage of the debate will find absolutely every excuse to praise Trump and bash Harris, because that's just baked in. However, we can also understand that there's a wide-and-getting-wider CHASM between how ordinary voters see things right now and how the media is desperate to play it, and the more transparent they get, the more easily we are able to call it out. (See Lawrence O'Donnell's rant the other night.) We are going to have to keep doing that and not let up, but it's not going to go well for Trump either way and it's still an open question as to whether he even shows up after trying SO hard to dodge. It's not out of the question that he'll announce on September 4 that by Harris not showing up to the Fox debate she never agreed to and which exists only in his deluded mind, he doesn't have to do the same on September 10. He is a scared fucking orange chickenshit who KNOWS he's badly outmatched against Harris and whose entire campaign strategy at this point relies on lying low and trying not to make voters remember again how much they hate him, which is already backfiring. And with your help, we can make him MORE scared all the way to prison. Let's do it.

[dulc3vida]

puppy!reader

girl next door, mom owns a bakery with heyward level success (doing alright, but not as successful as the wreck). her house was always the spot for the pogues growing up bc her mom always fed them and looked out for them. her mom is a curandera (folk healer) and always has someone in the house picking up some remedy she concocted or getting their stomach massaged to help digestion. during the summer, pup is on the beach with her lil cart selling cups of fruit and she also offers palm readings on the side.

john b is puppys best pairing bc they're both such lovers. like pup just oozes affection, its in her name. all of pups friends expect a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a "i haven't seen you in sooooo long" when really its been a few hours. she greets john b with a million kisses all over his face and he eats that shit up every time. john b loves a lazy sunday with her where he can share the hammock with her head on his chest, listening to her read his palm.

"tell me again, whats that one mean?"

"that's your lifeline." she traces her finger over the line on his hand. "it's deep and long which means you're gonna live a long life." she unknowingly soothes john bs anxiety over an untimely death. (lets be real, that boy doesn't see himself making it to 30).

they also make a good match bc they balance each others energies. john b grew up around masculine energy so being around you was his only time to be soft and you didn't know your dad so you benefited from the stability of john bs friendship your whole life.

our resident woo woo girl is always going on and on about the power of the tongue. pope could be giving some real ass advice about the stupid shit they're gonna do and she disregards most of it because it's pessimistic.

"all i'm saying is that your positive affirmations aren't gonna keep the cops from recognizing our faces on cameras and arresting our asses. i mean we let jj plan this, he's gonna get himself shot." pope is looking at this mission from every angle, trying to cover everyones asses.

pup rolls her eyes. "and all I'M saying is that you're being really negative right now. if you keep speaking 'we're not gonna make it and jj is gonna get shot' into the universe, then we're not gonna make it and jj will get shot-"

"you speaking that shit into the universe pope? i thought we were friends what the fuck?" jjs offended voice came from the side of pope.

"we need to look at our solutions and not our problems." pup scurries into the chateau and comes back with a box of beanies she knitted for john b. "see, solutions. no one will see our faces."

"to find a solution you have to look at the- nevermind." pope shakes his head when he sees john b petting pups hair and kissing her forehead telling her how smart she is.

OH! and pup loves to knit and crochet. she makes a lot of her own clothes and stuff, even had a bikini unravel on her in the ocean which prompted a rescue mission and a stern (maybe a smidge condescending) talking to from john b.

"what did i tell you, huh?" john b is staring down at her wrapped up in his shirt, sitting in the sand not looking at him. he has his arms crossed and is staring down at her in that disappointed john b way.

"the top was gonna fall apart." pup pouted.

"and what happened?"

"it fell apart."

"you gonna listen to me the next time i say somethin's not ready?"

"mhm..." she looks up at him, unintentionally giving him puppy eyes because its just a natural response.

john b decides she had enough embarrassment for the day and takes a seat next to her, patting his thigh. "com'ere. not mad at ya. come to daddy." and pup crawls into his lap to watch the sunset.

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Moxxie

A big thing with Moxxie was just me wanting him to not look like a butler. I don’t know what it is with Viv and men in suits, but I'm not a fan. To keep his vest from blending into his pants, I untucked a bit of his undershirt. I want each member of IMP to stand out visually from one another (because all imps literally look related to some degree lol) so I gave Moxxie green in his color palette to contrast the orangish red tone I gave his skin. I also think green eyes will help him stand out very nicely from the group. Instead of striped I put gold rings on his tail and gave him a couple rings on his fingers because greed and gold. Since Viv loves bowties, I let Mox keep his but made it droopy because I think it’s cuter. Originally, I was going to keep his coattails, but I feel like with the shape of his legs it just muddies his silhouette. 

With Moxxie there isn’t much about his character I have to gripe about or want to change. He’s a skilled gunman with knowledge of the subject and history of guns. Cool, now for that, I’m working in his greed traits and decided that he outright hoards guns (since viv wants to claim imps hoard things). Moxxie has a vast collection and is always keeping them nice and spiffy. 

Now one thing I don’t like about Moxxie is his insecurity. Moreso the fact that it’s constantly being played up, like in Unhappy Campers where he’s like a crotchety old woman going through menopause because his wife is more popular than him. At that point it’s just stupid for the sake of drama. Since I made Millie the insecure one, I’m going to play up Moxxie’s straight man status. 

Moxxie is going to be the level headed cool sniper type I suppose. He’s not going to be as expression as Millie, the blue oni to her red in a sense. I think the comedy of that could be when something does make him lose his composure (I think I'll draw up a redone scene as an example) like Millie’s parents outright disliking him or Striker singing about how he sucks and should go fuck himself. I like the idea that because of his childhood as the son of an abusive mob boss father he’s learned to shove bad feelings down rather than express them outright. This doesn’t mean I want him to be a stone faced rock. No, I mostly just want him to express surface level exasperation and frustration with Blitzø’s antics (like his big “WHAT?” when Blitz mentions he hired Strikker) 

So an example of this could be Striker’s song. After he tells Moxxie to go fuck himself, a close shot of Moxxie’s face shows it twitching. He adjusts his glasses, stands up, and excuses himself. (Millie recognizes that this is bad because she knows him and follows) But she loses him in Striker’s fangirl crowd. Moxxie will be visibly upset as he climbs the stairs before hearing Millie calling for him and regaining his composure – until he notices the glow coming from Striker’s room that catches his attention. 

So I don’t want this Moxxie to be a straight-faced ass, just a more composed character. 

Back to his insecurity real quick! Mozzie is a trained assassin but his is not physically strong enough to fight hand to hand. This is a weak spot for him because his father constantly shat all over him growing up and would literally smack him around and Moxxie was (in his own mind) too physically weak to stop it from happening. 

As to how he met Blitzo... well in this I don’t want the bs jail in hell bit because there has been no justifiable ass pulls by Viv or the team. Idk I'm having trouble. Maybe they met through Millie? Like Moxxie meets Millie doing something and is like ‘holy shit I love this chick fuck you dad I'm out.’ 

Idk that’s what I'm going with I'll fix it later this took way too long to do and i'll still gotta do Blitzo and Stolas and maybe the other characters and then maybe rework season one idk i'll focus on just doing Blitzo and reworking my Loona again

[yourfandomfriend]

Gravitation || IwtV Meta

While doing my bookkeeping, I was pleasantly surprised to find I'd left some shippy meta lying around for these yaoi-ass mother fuckers and didn't post it. Yeah, you know I've got it bad for a series when the analysis spills over into other folders.

** SPOILERS** for Interview with the Vampire, Season 2 & The Vampire Chronicles **SPOILERS**

And Then What?

One of my favorite aspects of this series is the way it takes meta to the next level.

Anne Rice used the "interview" aspect of the novel to sew the tiniest seeds of doubt in her readers' minds, the idea being that the story could be true and Louis was out there somewhere. But then she retconned a lot from the book to justify making its villain, Lestat, the hero of the series. So any adaption of the book with a greater story in mind would basically be saying, "Yes, this story is all true! …Only it's not, this man is a liar. And his rebound is a psycho bitch!"

Meanwhile, with the benefit of decades of hindsight, the series doesn't just say, "The vampire story happened, it was an interview by some Boy." It treats the story with respect by interrogating it as if it can stand the sunlight.

"So if the first one was a pack of lies, as later books insist, then why didn't The Boy notice? And why did Louis lie? Why go to the trouble of telling his story to a reporter if he was just gonna lie about his boyfriend all night? And how come he didn't notice that Armand guy was an unhinged puppet master, hoaxing his ass for years?"

Well! Not only is the interview itself split apart -- between the year of its release and the time of the series -- but Daniel Molloy himself is split and now becomes the way in which the series reconciles the first book with the rest.

Daniel becomes a brave and skeptical interviewer, buying the premise of vampires, yet daring to ask -- if the story was true -- then why This and why That? Many fans of the books react to this as an insult. "Are you calling the first book stupid? The people who loved it stupid?" As if that was the only explanation for treating the material as though it could hold up to scrutiny.

Agency

I really love the idea of the series closing out Louis' story with his revelations. He has the truth now and is finally able to take control of his life. To accept himself completely in a way he never could before and stand on his own.

No longer forced to forget Paul, Claudia, and Lestat. No longer pretending he isn't a monster or a very human creature. No longer trapped in limbo, no longer an object at the mercy of the universe.

And can we all agree that Lestat got the best arc? One that wasn't possible in the books? Learning to respect Louis' autonomy and let him go with love instead of lying, cutting off his escapes, blackmailing, or breaking him? I'm way more impressed with the writing of the show here, for making Lestat learn his lesson instead of pretending, "Oh, no, he was perfect all along!"

Also, his behavior is juxtaposed with Armand's. We'd love to think he's the villain for the part he played in the Trial, but so many characters had done the wrong thing that led to that point --

Claudia for rushing (against all logic and advice) to join a cult created by the guy she "killed," thinking she could BS her way through it forever. Louis for ignoring Claudia when she reported her red flags, telling her to sit in the choice she'd made, choosing a guy he'd just met over her, refusing to join or even be kind to the coven, leaving bodies in the open to piss them off, and playing carelessly with the heart of an ancient demigod vampire he barely knew, who he just happened to have shared a suss ex-boyfriend with --

Lestat for keeping his fledglings weak and ignorant, abusing them and refusing to let them go, destroying the Paris coven and remaking it in his image then abandoning it, crossing the ocean for revenge he didn't deserve, and using his power to save Louis, but only Louis.

No, Armand's pertinent villainous act was The Lie. He didn't just allow Louis to believe the conclusion he'd jumped to, he created an alternate universe where he was Louis' savior and nanny and made him live in it for seventy-five years. And it's not even that he was dishonest, per se -- they all lied to each other -- but that his dishonesty was fueled by a desire to limit Louis' movement.

Like the rocks in that coffin. As if he'd never taken Louis out of it.

He would give his lover all the power in the world, submit to him in any and every way imaginable, and put his life in Louis' hands… but never give him the freedom to leave. That was the power and control Armand exerted behind a mask of innocence and deference.

It's the mask Lestat wore on more than one occasion, not realizing his guilt until the Trial's ludicrous, victim-blaming narrative inadvertently threw his cruelty, tyranny, and vanity in his face.

Which means that, as different as they were, Armand was used in the series as a Shadow Self of Lestat. Not the easy, shapeless alternative he was in Book One, nor the convenient scapegoat he was in Book Two, but a desperate, lonely, unaccountable Brat Prince playing with precious things that don't belong to him and breaking them.

Armand is more underhanded and tightly wound, but his greed and capacity for disaster are at least identical to Lestat's -- because they're godlike. No one can stop them, except themselves.

Gravity

But now, the love triangle has been thrown into daylight and all parties are finally free of one another. Louis can visit Lestat to reconcile and greave and embrace without either being sucked into each other's orbit... For now.

And what of the unmasked Armand? He didn't ask to be set free from either of their orbits or did he? and without the chase of Devil's Minion, he has no one to satellite now. Poor babby, all his friends are dead and everyone else thinks he's a hardcore bitch. Can he ever be happy alone, especially when there's no outside force to shake the shit out of him?

To the ancient texts!

In the books, Armand's relative wickedness was transparently both AR's alibi for Lestat and a way to keep him from undermining her OTP -- once he was no longer a threat to either, he was free to be as happy and lovable as a thing like him could be. So if Show follows Books, Armand is free now, too! Free of the toxic polycule! (And taking most of the toxins with him, but hey.)

The Bachelor Armand

A whole lot of fans who go from Armand in Book Two to Armand in Book Three have their minds blown by how… well? Cute and lovable and domestic he eventually becomes. You know… the further he gets from Louis.

Of course, Armand is never the healthiest, most stable character, but at least he's allowed to move on eventually. To finally grow and change. But must Show!Armand be lonely until that change happens? And if he's alone and won't introspect, what's the catalyst? Doesn't romance/love/the chase change him in the books? Why would anyone love him now that he's outed as horrible?

Well... all the other characters think he's a hardcore bitch... but one of them might think that's more a feature than a bug.

In the books, Daniel, the one remaining threat to loustat, is nerfed by AR throwing him to Armand like a wind-up cat toy. And as it turns out, he's a lot more into the evil nut-jobbery part of dating a vampire than the cute shit. Actually, he seems to find the cute shit annoying.

Before you know it, the spares are paired, Daniel is turned, and Armand is transformed from a severe, obsessive, sadomasochistic ascetic, to a soft, obsessive, sadomasochistic hedonist. He's still a hardcore bitch, but now he's the hardcore bitch Daniel's always dreamed of.

Suspicious? Yes. AR showing her hand? Undoubtably. But they seemed so happy, I don't have the heart to question it. And if that Chuck Tingle book cover come to life is Armand and Daniel's fate in the show, I'll cheer them on so loudly.

[eri-pl]

How are orcs made?

(...also, a bit about Maeglin) Elaborate HC, long post.

TW: discusses breeding of orcs (no descriptive language etc, but implied sexual violence. Also, mentions / implications of torture, child abuse, and domestic violence. Probably something I forgot... generally: it's about orcs. Canon-Typical Level Of Disturbing

I was watching more lectures about Tolkien's later writings, and another discussion of orcs got me thinking: what if it's not one answer, but many? This would solve some problems, paradoxically.

So, I propose

1st gen orcs are indeed corrupted elves (or also men, both can work). The physical corruption (including the hroa being not fit for the fea, which in mundane terms, includes many neurological imbalances leading to mental issues) is partially hereditary.

It is there but it weakened with each generation.

They do have souls, of course, and their kids (orc+orc kids, orc+ elf kids, orc+human kids) have souls, because that's how having kids works. Souls aren't initially corrupted, because Melkor can't make it so, but the physical problems + traumatic upbringing (violence both from family and by a Dark Lord) make it hard for those souls to be good.

This makes them insubordinate and rebelious, but smart. (here we can have rebellious orcs)

However, if such kids are not "worked on" (ie additionally corrupted in the same way as orc-making process, they just need less amount of it), with a few generations they revert basically to Elves, physically and behaviorally. I'm sure it had happened many times in history, whenever the forces of evil lost control over some area and orc tribes were left unsupervised.

However, working on may be (and likely was) imposed on their culture, so that even without external supervision they would keep orkish for more generations than they would without it. Unless something disrupts the mechanism.

What life spans do they have? OK, that's a hard question. I would say that there is a threshold of corruption, and more corrupted elf-orcs have long but finite lives

What's with their souls? Mandos, some are locked indefinitely due to Namo not being able to fix them, as per Tolkien's notes. Some get better.

Also, as with normal elves, any human ancestry => the base type is human.

Maeglin (and also Eol). We know Eol was Thingol's family. I propose: one of his parents was someone close to Thingol, the other was a descentent of orcs, but at this point elvish enough for them to legit fall in love (yes, let's make it not-that-traumatic). still, there was probably violence in the family, and Eol had some genetic traits that made it harder for him to make good life choices. (Also, generational trauma of hiding from being recaptured => his isolationist tendencies)

But why do I focus on Maeglin?

Maeglin gets captured. He isn't tortured. He is simply informed what he is. What his ancestors were. What he can again become.

He is given a choice: share the location of Gondolin willingly, and get some instruction on how to better side and soothen your physiological issues, then go home. Or not share it and become as your ancestors were. And then you will share it anyway.

Still I don't consider him a good guy but in this scenario he's less guilty of all his BS (and so is Eol) and the location-of-Gondolin business is outright understandable (lack of estel, sure, but who doesn't lack it? even the Valar have issues here.). Also, after the betrayal he had a lot of time and he could and should at least run away from the city leaving a letter about what he did. They would evacuate.

Anyway back to orcs.

Another type of further-generation orcs: the soulless. I'm not sure whether some kind of magical cloning, or something more nasty, but the result is beast-like orcs. No soul, no free will. Stupid. Ape-like but there are some fixes to this:

Necromancy. When you have a functional, but soulless body, some unhoused spirits may want to make a deal with you. They work for you, they get to experience having a body again.

And some spirits are to weak to protest.

Still may be rebelious, but smart and probably more powerful. Possibly cannot reproduce?

Magic AI So when Tolkien wrote the Silm, an idea of "automaton" was something primitive and not talking, so he at times had a problem with "orcs are constructs but can talk". But. Today we know how much talking can be done without a soul.

So basically, there's a magic AI imbed in each orc, probably all from one template (or a couple templates), because dark lords aren't very creative.

Still not very smart orcs, also probably need more power expenditure to create than other types. May breed among themselves (and with souled creatures) resulting in more of them, but each young still needs the AI put in. Maybe the AI-inserting process can be automated with an artifact (loaded with an amount of power to last for some time) and the orcs may be taught to deal with their newborns themselves.

To sum up: This HC allows us to have all of

orcs have free will and can rebel

some orcs don't

being an orc is hereditary (mostly) and even without a Dark Lord, orkish tribes would remain active (for some time, but we can make it enough time for the plot to work, probably, it takes generations especially if they are taught to deal with their newborns to maintain their orkishness)

We keep to the idea that Melkor cannot make anyone hereditarily evil (Tolkien thought it important)

angsty part-orc Maeglin

evil, scary ghosts of FA elves put in orc bodies (not everyone would gogently into Mandos) (Maedhros. I mean mostly Maedhros) (but also Eol would be so ironic)

some orcs are more powerful than they look and are scary

enough of orcs seem mindless so that the good guys may (tragically) assume that they all are and are free to kill. (I need a fic in which they learn)

it is natural that after Sauron's defeat orcs would disappear, but slowly, not in one generation

It doesn't allow us to make the "killing orcs for sport" non-evil, but it allows us to make it a "they didn't know and had reasons to assume" kind of evil, ie doesn't make the protagonists of LotR evil. (just tragic but I can live with it)

[ms-demeanor]

(remaking the post because you can't edit polls and i gave the wrong options)

Alright I'm registering for classes and someone needs to talk me out of doing stupid shit but I'm unsure of what shit is stupidest.

Winter term:

I just finished an 8-week photo class that ended up being a huge investment in time just to go and shoot. However that was introductory photography and there is a 6-week intermediate photography class over winter term. I am signed up for photography. (Elective option for AA in Visual Arts)

There is also a 6-week introductory python course over winter term that I am signed up for and will be taking. I'm solid on that one, as long as I pass my C# class this term I'm going to be taking Python for 6 weeks at the beginning of the year.

Spring term:

College Chemistry Saturday class. 7am to 12pm for sixteen weeks. Lab and lecture; this school doesn't offer any chem classes that are after standard 9-5 hours during the regular week or that can be taken even partially online. Pretty sure I'm going to be stuck with this one and am configuring the rest of my schedule around being *less* miserable because of this class.

Survey of Western Art - Online, seems like a gimme. Does have a textbook but not one that I'm going to pay for. (Required for AA in Visual Arts)

2-Dimensional Design - Online, seems fun and like a gimme, Free/No textbook. (Required for AA in Visual Arts)

Object-Oriented Programming - Online, seems difficult, expensive textbook. Will probably be very necessary if I end up going down a more CS/tech path. Probably going to force myself to take this class.

Java Programming - Online, seems not unapproachable, expensive textbook. I don't particularly wanna but my school offers really limited options for computer science and I want to get what I can out of it before I go somewhere else.

Rationale for these weird combinations:

I'm applying as a nursing student at three schools and a biochem student at one of those schools (nutrition programs are apparently only for first-time students; 2nd Bachelor's applications are a lot more limited. I could apply to major in Francophone Studies at one of the schools though). Supposing I get accepted, these classes certainly won't hurt my status at any school that accepts me and the chemistry class is going to be really really necessary. This is the "i give a fuck about nutrition science and also directly helping people" path and if I go this way I'm interested in NP programs down the line. LOTS more school of the serious "I can't work and do this kind of school at the same time" variety.

If I *don't* get accepted to the programs I'm applying to, I'm going to go to a different community college and start working on a couple of AS degrees in computer junk (network admin and security management, computer and networking technology) and get some computer junk certs. I don't think I want/need a BS in compute science, this is the "practical" route of "I could finish this stuff pretty easily and continue working in a field where I have a lot of connections and familiarity with the industry but I am indifferent about a lot of it (pretty passionate about security and accessibility tho). Also allows me to keep working while I just churn school in the background, and all of the computer classes are transferable between the two schools.

Art classes: I think having multiple degrees is funney. I am currently 5 classes away from an AA in visual arts, at the end of this term I will be 4 classes away; if I take all the classes here and can take an elective over the summer I'll have a degree in visual arts. (There is a reasonable possibility that I'll continue taking bullshit classes behind the scenes to get silly degrees regardless of what happens otherwise)

Pretty sure the sensible thing is to drop *at least* photography and survey of western art and also possibly Java and 2D design. I'm somewhat concerned that if my spring term is just Saturday chem and object oriented programming I will start biting things.

So:

[yakumtsaki]

-Welcome to my ancestral Greek House, darling! -Oh baby it's so beautiful, huhu!🌞

I don't wanna know where the fuck you lived before, Meadow, but yes, we have arrived, part 1 here. And now it's time to christen our new household:

Perfect! Cheerleader Kea why are you here?

-Are those Sophito's kids?

They sure are.

-Wow, really dodged a bullet there.

You sure did.

-NOT ONLY DID I LOSE THE INAUGURAL FIGHT I'M ABOUT TO GO INTO ASPIRATION FAILURE

Wtf do you want me to do about it?

-YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT

NO WAY

-YES

NO

-YES

I can't say no to my sims, it's an actual problem. HELLO GUNNAR, I HATE YOU

-Don't talk to him that way!!! -Nah it's fine, no worries, bro. Wanna get down?

GROSS. Barth seriously, please, WE CAN DO BETTER

-Can you? They seem perfectly matched to me!

Felina will you please fuck off?

-Can't, Meadow got me super into bird watching.

At night in the rain??

-Ok busted, I just wanna watch Barfolomew flop yet again!

HE'S NOT GONNA FLOP. THERE'S NO WAY HE FLOPS WITH FUCKING GUNNAR

-Wanna bet?

STOP IT

S T O P . I T .

NO WAY

BARTHOLOMEW YOU ARE THE WORST ROMANCE SIM OF ALL TIME HOLY HELL

-What you doing, bro?! -You said you wanted to get down! -I meant drugs! -What! That's not what that means, you stupid turtle-faced moron! -WHAT DID YOU CALL ME

Bartholomew if you end up getting beaten up by fucking Gunnar Roque I will legit die.

-That's so hot, bro, call me more names!

GUNNAR WTF

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME, GUNNAR YOU WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM GO BACK TO THAT

-Oh Gunnar, in my family we value the exquisite Komei jaw, there's something so rebellious in your lack of chin! -Ya, call me a turtle again!

GOD

OK THEN, we are officially turtle lovers. Bartholomew let me tell you, I caved this time because of your pathetic aspiration but this is NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN. I've worked hard to make you people attractive and I'm not about to throw it all away on Gunnar Roque's spawn!!!

-Maybe we'll be childfree!

I'll do you one better, how about Gunnarfree! Now Gunnar fuck off back to the gutter you crawled from. -Sure thing, bro, later. -You can't keep us apart!

I CAN AND I WILL

Jojo's wolf mania has clearly inflicted some generational trauma on his family as Barth rolls this fear of Gunnar becoming a werewolf, which would clearly be an improvement on his looks.

-STOP TALKING ABOUT GUNNAR LIKE THAT. Now back to my song.. I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.. I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My Gunnar, my Gunnar, my Gunnar, talkin about my Gunnar..🎵

Literally kill me.

-You know what my favorite thing is about our relationship, darling? -What, huhu?🌞 -The way we both have appropriately sized chins!

Fel seriously why are you like this, what did I ever do to you??

-OH, LIKE YOU DON'T REMEMBER!

Remember WHAT

-THE WAY YOU JUST STOOD BY AND LET BARF RUIN MY PARTY

Are you serious, you're still not over that bs??

-I'LL NEVER GET OVER IT. AND WHEN THOSE CHINLESS BABIES ARE BORN YOU'LL HAVE GOTTEN WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!

Well screw you, I won't let that happen! I'll find someone else for Barth!! Someone who has a chin!!!

-IT'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT WITH ANYONE ELSE YOU DUMBASS, THIS IS BARF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

YOU'RE WRONG AND I'LL PROVE IT

-Zat's ein wunderbar eyepatch, Barthölömew, ja? -I HATE YOUR GLASSES. SLEEP WITH ME

-So the funniest thing happened at class today- -YOUR PORES ARE HUGE, YOU NEED MAKE UP. SLEEP WITH ME

-Oh, I knew your parents back in the day! -TERRIBLE HAIRCUT. SLEEP WITH ME

-WAHHH I'LL NEVER HAVE A FAMILY -NO YOU WON'T. I WANT TO BEAT UP MY SISTER. SLEEP WITH ME

Oh my God you are USELESS

-My negging tactics will work, you'll see!

-Soon I'll be the one making out in our front yard!

Ya idk Barth, this is the most pathetic picture of all time. I'm seriously considering cheating and changing your aspiration, like it's unreal how bad you are at it.

-I'm not bad at it, moron, I'm being strategic! Now it's time to invite them over and see my work bear fruit!

God you are so gross, maybe you do belong with Gunnar.

FUCK ME IT WORKED. SARAH WTF

I can't believe this is happening and neither can anyone else by the looks of it-

-YET HERE WE ARE. 2/20 I guess??

-I told you! Stick with me and we'll neg every dormie on this campus!

That's not a goal I want to achieve, Barth!

-See you later, Barth, I'm very satisfied, I'll leave you a 5 star review!

Now that I'm thinking about it, between Gunther, Cyn, Sophito and Barth we've really been operating a Greek House/Brothel for 4 gens, go us!

I'm still having a hard time believing Barth is actually good at being a romance sim, especially because Sarah has been completely desperate ever since Cyn stole evil wizard Matthew Hart from her, so I immediately invite over Sam Thomas-

-AND IT WORKS AGAIN THO GLITCHED. WTF. Ok Barth so I guess you actually ARE competent?? Who knew.

-I knew! I always believed in Barth!

GET OUT OF HERE SUNSET

And now, time for a tragedy in 3 parts:

So next day I'm feeling confident enough that we invite over Klara, my top pick for Barth spouse and she is INTO him, let's do this, Barth!!!

SUNSET

-Heeeeeeeeey Barth, what's up?🥰 -Ich habe urgent hömewörk das dö.

KLARA DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING THEM ALONE

-Congrats on your great first semester grades, Sunset! -Wanna congratulate me on my first kiss, too? -What?

OK THEN FML I GUESS. I mean I knew this would happen the day he brought her home from school and they were dancing for like 4h but still it's very upsetting.

Let's figure out the degree of relation here so we know how grossed out we should be, so they are connected through Daniel-Jojo. So her grandfather and his great-grandfather were brothers, which makes them 2nd cousins once removed. It honestly doesn't sound THAT bad, but I think the word 'removed' is really doing the heavy lifting here.

Anyway, we took a small break to kiss our cousin, now let's go back to our date with our future wife!

-Are you enjoying this magical slow dancing in the kitchen, babe? It's a move my dad taught me. -Ja, ich was here to see your höe vater.

Oh right didn't Klara turn down Sophito LOL. But his even more degenerate son she couldn't resist, Klara wtf!

-Just give me 1 second babe, I'll be right with you-

OH MY GOD COME ON. POOR KLARA

-Sorry, Klar, this is lasting longer than expected, why don't you put a movie on and hang out? -Ja, ök.

KLARA

-All done babe, come here! -Ohöhö! -Blood is thicker than water, Klara!

SUNSET FFS

B R O

Klara I can't believe this title goes to you of all people but you are without a doubt the biggest cuck we've ever encountered, I am legit shocked by this sequence of events.

-5/20 IN 2 DAYS. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS A FLOP ROMANCE SIM. EVERYONE DID. EVEN MY GRANDMAS MADE FUN OF ME. WELL I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!!!

Great! Barth is at 5/20 woohoos and I'm at 2/2 for supervillain origin stories this gen, it's all working out!

[green-alien-turdz]

any life tips for someone still in school(school tips or not)

really mfin struggling n your real smart so i figured id ask you first

Ion know if I'm the best person to be askin life advice from, but I'll do my best. Also I suck with mildly vague prompts, so I'll do my best.

-Give yourself some mfing grace. You are not perfect n you won't ever be. That's not a bad thing! You're only human. Of course, set goals for yourself n always aim for somethin greater, but holy fuck, it's okay to not meet that. At the end of the day, you fuckin tried n that's all that matters. Even if the only effort you can put into tryin one day is just showin up or even just plannin shit out, it's a step towards bein better. You don't have to meet all of these unrealistic expectations you have for yourself. You are not a robot.

-Take breaks. Legit, if you keep pushin yourself too hard, you WILL burn out n the longer you've been pushin yourself, the longer you will take to get outta that. People will spend years thinkin that they have to constantly be this machine. Eventually you'll start to stumble, get mad, push even harder n then fade out. It can happen in the blink of an eye, which is why it's SO important to take time for yourself. Make sure you're not stressin 24/7 about whatever it is you be stressin over. The world will not end bczus you needed to catch your breath.

-Appreciate what n who you are, no matter what stage in your life you're at. If you're flunking classes, you've still got greatness in ya. If you aren't that great at socializin with friends n shit rn, that doesn't mean you're a terrible person. We can't always be what we want to be, n there's nothin wrong with that. Every second you are alive, you are growin in one way or another. There's ups n downs, but that doesn't mean shit. You are gonna be way harder on yourself n think 10x worse of everything you do that just about anyone else would. n even if there is some dickhead out there who wants to talk shit non-stop about you, fuck what they think, man. If some sad mf has nothin better to do than to put others down, then their word don't mean shit. There are times in life where you won't like what you see lookin back at you n if you're ready to change, go for it, but if you need a minute, that's okay too.

-Make an effort to see the good. Whether you're really strugglin rn or if you're in a good position mentally, always take a second to just appreciate anythin that is good. It can be the smallest things! They can be stupid things, it doesn't matter. Find some sort of positive anchor to keep you as grounded as you can be. Life treatin you like shit n you feel like shit? At least I know that this show or movie I really like exists. Did you lose someone? Well at least you had them for the time that you did. So on n so forth. Sometimes you just gotta step outside n breathe, allow yourself to just realize that you're alive. It might not be great, or good, or even okay, but you're here n there are good things out there for you.

-

Okay, now some like actual life tips lol

-You are not your grades bro. Whether it be your parents expectations or your own, the way schools gradin works just doesn't always align with how a mf might work n operate. Sometimes we just mess up a bit too or don't understand a topic all too well n there's nothin wrong with that. It just seems like a big deal bcuz of how they like to measure n quantify how smart they think you are with a letter or number. You're not gonna get everythin in life, so it's complete bs that something that you maybe just needed more time on can have a shitty score slapped on it n have you made to feel dumb n shit like that.

-If you can get a job n want one, then fuckin do it. Apply everywhere. Even if it's somethin you don't think you'd be good at, trust me, you'll pick it up. The rejection can suck, but you get right back on the mf horse n apply more places. Call or go in to check in on your application (this just reminds them sometimes to fuckin look). Interviews can be nervewrackin, but for a minimum wage job, they'll legit be around 10-15 minutes (n that's stretchin it for some). When you get the job, you will probably feel like a dumbass or a child bcuz you don't know how to do shit yet- but give it a few weeks n you could do everythin with your fuckin eyes closed. They are not gonna treat you what your worth n it's gonna suck. Hours are long when you need more time for school n non existent when you need cash. If it doesn't work, that's fine too. Hopefully you can stay at jobs for at least a year, that shows commitment on resumes.

-Don't allow yourself to be walked all over. I know this kinda goes against some of what I was sayin in the work tip, but that's slightly different (but there comes a point there too where you need to put your foot down to bein treated like garbage). This world will try n chew you up n spit you out a hundred times over, but don't let stupid mfs be the ones to do it. That friend who kinda treats you like shit? Well, talk to them about it, see if they change. n if they don't, end the friendship. Yeah it sucks, especially bcuz you probably still care about them, but if you allow even one mf to treat you n your feelings like some useless or disposable thing, then others will take the same opportunity with you. It's not always that simple, trust me, I still have people in my life that have done horrific things to me which I still allow to treat me like shit- but if you can, please bring yourself to do it. You are worth so much more than how some people might treat you. Even if this isn't an issue in your life rn, there will be people along the way who will be douches n try to take advantage of you or your generosity or whatever the fuck else. Shut that shit down as fast as you can.

[fairykukla]

My partner bought the DVD omnibus of the TV series Grimm. This was a while ago, but he will trot it out periodically.

I used to love that series, but I find it hard to binge on. The early seasons are excellent, but it really works better with a Monster Of The Week format. The mythology writing was never as good.

Cut for spoilers. If you click through you can see my new fic outline.

But I loved the idea; the stories in fairy tales help explain how there are people with a secondary characteristic; they have a part of them that gives them a certain amount of power, and it can manifest in subtle ways. They're called "Vessen" and there are people called Grimms who can "see" the other form.

Which gets us a really interesting furry show. My favorite character is probably Monroe; he's a Big Bad Wolf who is finding his path to inner peace through exercise, vegetarian diet, and playing the cello. He fixes clocks for a living. He's cute as hell. I was delighted with the complex character named Rosalie who winds up in a relationship with Monroe, and would watch five seasons of a sitcom of their life together.

But I have a really hard time forgiving them for what they did to Juliette, the love interest for Nick, the main character. Juliette is played by Elizabeth Tulloch.

And right away, they spin the story that "Nick has a terrible burden and can't tell his lady love." Which is stupid; Juliette is an intelligent, insightful, Veterinarian with an excellent BS detector. She is neither an innocent housewife "Honey, why do you have to keep working late?" Nor is she a domineering shrew "Why can't you take out the garbage!"

Once she finds out what the real deal is, she becomes a fantastic partner for Nick. She's brave, and strong, and supportive. A friend of hers comes to stay (trying to get out of a shitty relationship) and when the evil husband turns up, she is *not deterred* when he shows his inner nature to her. She just stares him down, and sharks, "Yeah. I'm not impressed." Then attacks him.

Yeah. That's my girl!

Then there's... This weird storyline. An evil witch keeps casting spells on Juliet, (including impersonating her to have revenge sex with Nick) and since this happens over and over again, a side effect is that Juliette gets turned into an evil witch herself.

Witches are called Hexan beasts, and they're all apparently power hungry and ill tempered. Once Juliette is changed, they go galloping for the "She's too powerful, she's been corrupted, we must kill her off" storyline. Then Nick married the evil witch who sexually assaulted him. Yeah. Gross.

I'm going to start writing a fix it fic.

I want to call it Grimm; the Brujah Chapters. I find it hard to believe that there are *only* evil, power hungry witches. Juliette is canonically Hispanic, and has cool stories from her grandmother. Maybe that side effect merely jump-started her magical heritage genes. Maybe, she leaves Nick, and goes out on her own to find her way in the world.

She discovers her grandmother's books.

She she has an affinity with animals. Starts helping strays.

She goes to stay with her friend, who is really delighted that they have this Vessen thing in common. Cue cute roommate stories.

She realizes that while Nick's "cop" approach to being a Grimm deserves some criticism, there are other Grimms out there who are far worse.

She sets up a new practice, and does a lot of stray rescue work, but discovers that she now has an army of strays who adore her and do her bidding.

[antiendovents]

hey! so tumblr eated the last one so i hope this one works (hopefully i got everything, memory is hard) also for some context: the only people fronting at this time was a persecutor (me) and a social protector, both of us don't have empathy and don't stand for the system being pushed around

anyways i posted about how weird it is whenever endos say traumatized people hold privilege over them and an endo came into my replies saying that i'm the reason their friend tried to kill themselves and people like ME is the reason people have issues.

mind you i am nothing but respectful in online discussions (and keep interacting with endos to a fucking MINIMUM!!) unless someone shows me disrespect first, then i am done with them (but never am toxic yk?) so i haven't done jack shit to make their friend wanna kts

but they came into my reply section all talking about how people who are anti endo are so evil and toxic and cause people to end themselves (mind you i mentioned how endos send me gore rape threats and etc and they did not reply to that)

then when i didn't bite and kept pointing out how A. no one was talking about that B. They are trauma dumping and C. they can't guilt trip me they started calling me a kid and an edgelord and calling me names and implying i was just to stupid to see that "[im] the problem". and that they weren't trauma dumping they were explaining nuance (which they lacked so badly. doubt they know the definition of the word.)

they then compared me to ben shapiro and told us they weren't there to have a normal conversation and atp i was done with them.

went to their page to block them and they had posts about hating how people block tags/other people cuz it makes 'people not receptive to other viewpoints' and shit and then they vague posted us. like its not lacking nuance or not liking other viewpoints, its the fact that you're a dick. you don't understand how to properly have a conversation with other people, respect THEIR viewpoints or understand nuance that doesn't fit your beliefs and think everyone should just bend to your will. not wanting people to block people isn't being smart its being chronically online and assuming superiority over everyone who disagrees with you. i have never seen someone so dense ironically talking about other people who disagree being dense. like maybe people just don't fucking agree with you and don't wanna hear your bs.

sorry if none of this made sense!

oh, jeez that's.. I hate how endos try guilt trip us, like no I'm not going to be pro endos just because your friend was bullied or harassed ((obviously I don't think they deserved that, but I'm not going to give up my beliefs and start feeding into misinformation just because that happened)). It's good that you blocked them, because they sound like a fucking dickhead tbh. You are not the problem, they are, and it's so frustrating that they can't see that. Like fuck off with your BS, no one cares about you or your endos shit (not directed at you anon)

Also don't worry, this makes sense ^^

[thecapricunt1616]

luca was serving more for me this season than carmy was and frankly, as much as it hurts my sydcarmy heart to say this, i would fine if luca and sydney ended up together

obviously i'm still holding out for sydcarmy but i genuinely don't know what storer has in store (haha pun intended) anymore considering the way he framed their relationship

but idk, what are your thoughts?

Ohhhhhhh anon - DO I HAVE THOUGHTS FOR YOU!!! Luca became the LOML this season, He is so calm and - what was that BS that Carmy said about Claire? Ohhh yes!! LUCA is Peace :))) As well as Marcus, I would love to be friends with Marcus. He is WAY too well adjusted for that kitchen thats for sure.

I am holding out for SydCarmy until the show is literally over because this season feels like it could be one of a few things more btc

A: (most likely what happened) This show was never meant to be a romance. But, after S1- and all the fans being like 'wow, idk if its just the actors butttt...Syd&Carmy are cute! And would be a great couple!!' and in the writers room , Chris said- that is it. This is endgame for the show, we will work it in to the 3 seasons we already have outlined. So come season 2 , sydcarmy is ITTTT it is it. Like - we all know this, sydcarmy is IT, everyone goes NUTS and loves it and Storer wasnt ready to see just how much we pay attention to the symbolism that isnt blatant (since with basically any other show out there people dont look as deep into it for symbology as the bear fans do because storer films it a certain way it attracts a certain crowd) - he got mad. he literally got mad that we figured him out. so like a baby he went "NO. WWWAAAHHH I WANTED IT TO BE A SUPRISE LIKE IT WAS MY IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE!" and shit all over it. Hm. Someone who has something great going for them, and then as soon as it starts actually going great - they SHIT ON IT AND RUIN IT FOR THEMSELF who does this sound like? Someone I think they go by...bear?

B: Second most likely, WILLFUL MISDIRECTION!!!! This was supposed to happen. I kinda knew things would get worse before they got better, but I didn't know THAT much worse. The more I think about it, Carmy wasnt OOC this season - EVERYONE ELSE WAS except for maybe Marcus? Which is CRAZY because the only one that SHOULD be OOC right now IS MARCUS BECAUSE HIS MOTHER DIED!!!! Carmy is turning into his old boss. Point blank period. So his behavior if anything is a tad bit tame. The smoking thing was out of left field I'm still trying to understand that one, but yea. This was purposeful misdirection, because syd needs to be broken down so she can realize why she really isnt leaving (hint- she feels something for carmy past platonic) carmy is still trying to romantisize claire in his head which is why were always seeing them make out. his family keeps bugging him about it and telling him that he needs to be with her so hes trying to make himself see it (he cant he tried in the freezer and can't see her that way.)

C: (least likely) they have 0 idea what theyre doing. sydcarmy isnt romantic, every writer in that room is on drugs or simply stupid, and claire and carmy are somehow meant to be????? when he literally doesnt like her and its so clear.

anywho im going down with this ship. i prefer my blue lotus fic storyline where carmy goes to therapy before this point and doesn't spiral and ruin everything :))) and admits his feelings to syd!!!

[starlightshadowsworld]

No because Casey who's grown up with an abusive father figure hearing how Splinter talks to Leo.

About how it's his destiny, how he has to succeed and it doesnt matter who or what he has to sacrifice.

He would lose the rat fear so quickly and march up to him like what the hell man?!

I need Casey having beef with Splinter like who says that to that child?!

Strides up to him enraged.

Everyone is like... What is happening...

"What kind of father are you?! No wonder Leo's so upright when he's got you breathing down his neck. He's hurt, aren't you gonna ask how he is, or is your stupid mission more important than that."

"This matter does not concern you, Casey Jones." Says Splinter.

If anything this makes Casey angrier.

"If it involves my friend than it damn well does. I may not be a ninja, but I won't stand by and let you hurt him."

"I would never hurt my son."

Casey scoffs.

"Just cos your not beating him doesn't mean you ain't hurting him..." He catches Splinter looking at a scared Leo and growls.

"Hey! Don't look at him, look at me. Because I'll be the last thing you ever see if you keep that up."

"Are you threathing me, Casey Jones?"

"Nah a threat means it's all empty words. What im doing is promising you."

"Casey...what's going on?" Asks Leo, standing there with the rest so confused...and on edge.

Casey visibly softens, shoving his hands in his pockets and adopting a calmer more relaxed stance.

He doesn't wanna scare em.

"... Listen man, April says your good people, and I believe her. Red's good people, those kinda people are drawn to each other."

Casey looks at Splinter, unable to keep the snarl out of his voice "but so are us bad people. I go out and bust heads and you talk to your son like he's heading off to fight a war you'll know he'll lose."

"You know nothing of this."

"Your right, I don't. But that look you give him... Hell the look you give Raph when he's mad and you know he can't control it... Reminds me of my old man..."

Casey takes a deep breathe, admiring that to himself internally was hard enough. Saying it outloud was something else.

"And anyone who reminds me of him, is worse than the Shredder himself."

"Dont you dare.. Compare me to him!"

"Why, your both ninja, your using your own kids to fight a war you started between you. You could go stop this whole thing but you won't, instead you put decades of trauma onto your s-ugh!"

He could barely get his words out as he was picked up and slammed into the wall behind him.

"Sensei!"

"Sensei! Father, put him down! Please!"

Splinter looked at Casey with a look Casey couldn't place before dropping him and leaving to his chambers.

Instantly the others jump out of hiding and rush to his side.

"Casey are you okay?! Why would you... Why would you do that?" Said Leo.

"Had to bs said, and I meant that man. Every word." Says Casey with a small smile.

"Thanks.. But you didn't say you were okay?" Says Leo, going into big brother mode.

"Oh this? Nah I'm good, luckily he didn't get my old man's strength." He doesn't see the way they all frown at that.

How Mikey is curled into his side and holding him as much as clinging to him.

How Raph was standing at his side, looking at him like if he looked away he'd vanish.

"... I see well I'm still looking over you anyway. Can't have any more hits to that head of yours." Says Donnie, trying to lighten the mood but still so concerned.

"Heh, sure thing Doc" Casey allows it, for once. If only to calm Donnie's nerves.

"... Casey..."

"Yeah Leo?"

It's unnerving to see Leo look so small... Look his age.

God they were all just kids weren't they?

"I... Your good people too."

Casey didn't know what to say to that. He'd never thought of himself as good, crazy, werid, likely to become the next Arnold Jones...

He almost retorted... But something bout the way Leo looked at him made Casey want to believe him.

"If you say so."

"I do"

Damnit April was right... These weridos were growing on him.

[yeowangies]

Blood Stains

CHAPTER X: If I bleed you'll be the last to know

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/F!Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Canon Divergence AU, Slow burn, Smut, Enemies to Lovers. WARNINGS: Explicit sexual content. WORDCOUNT: 4791

Summary:

You freeze in place. It has been a month since you had that argument with Raditz. What is he doing here? Even when weeks went by, you’re not sure you’ve cooled off enough to handle this yet. Or at all, since you were positive you would never see his face again.

Notes:

I feel like it's been a year since I've updated this, but it's only been a little over a month. I wrote this chapter like two months ago, and as I was reading this to check if everything is as I want it to be, I realized that I've written something that I wish I had in my life. I'm not gonna go too deep into this but it was weirdly comforting.

Again, I won't know when I'll post the next chapter, I'm currently busy with a lot of irl stuff, but hopefully it's gonna be in less than a month this time!

The lyrics in the title is from Taylor Swift's Cruel Summer. Enjoy!

You can check the tag #*bs if you wanna see the previous chapters.

A confrontation like that was not how you wanted to end things with Raditz. Because it was definitely over after that. You’re certain you won’t see him again. 

You feel it in your bones, he likes staying with you and being with you. He has slept so much better the second time around, and he hasn’t been so tense. What he said hurt and you are still angry, so angry, but it was your fault he stormed out like that, you shouldn’t have said anything. You shouldn’t have talked to him as if he was going to break.

Then again, remaining silent didn’t feel right either. Even if you had agreed to only sleep together. 

It was stupid to think you wouldn’t get attached. You never expected this affair to last for as long as it did, which wasn’t even that long to begin with. You even got to know him during his short stay, and even before that when he was staying at Capsule Corp; you know him too much for someone who you were just going to share a bed with every once in a while. 

Lust was how all of it started, but it has transformed into something more, even if you don’t even want to acknowledge it yourself.

Would all that actually change anything?

You purposely had avoided the topic of his stay here on Earth, or about the Saiyans, before that day. But he said some things and you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Nothing feels right, and you feel like punching a wall. Which would probably hurt less than when you slapped him, it’s like his face was made of steel. 

You know for sure Raditz won’t ever come back, and you get more used to the idea as days pass by. It doesn’t hurt any less, though, and your heart feels tight whenever you dwell on it. 

“I’m staying at Kame House for a few days, do you wanna come along?” Bulma asks over the phone one afternoon, in a cheery tone.

You haven’t told Bulma anything about Raditz at all; keeping it a secret was for the best, or so you thought. You were regretting it a bit now, all your emotions were bottling up inside and that couldn’t be good. But you’re not ready to share everything yet.

“No, it’s okay, I… have work to do.”

“Don’t forget the Saiyans are getting here one of these days, it’d be better if you’re here when that happens.”

“I know.”

“Do you know anything about Raditz?”

You inhale sharply before clearing your throat.

“I don’t.”

“That’s so weird, he just disappeared. I would assume he left the planet, but he doesn’t have any ship, does he?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Mmh, I’m sure we’ll know what he’s been up to once his two buddies come here. I know Goku can take them.”

“Yeah… Yeah, Goku is unbeatable, right?”

“…Are you okay? You don’t sound too good…”

“I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve been thinking about this too much.” At least that part isn’t a lie. “Don’t worry, okay? Call me if anything happens.”

You hang up after that.

It has been almost a year since Goku died. It doesn’t feel like so much time has passed. Since you’ve been trying to avoid the topic altogether when Raditz was around, you actually lost track of time until Bulma called to tell you about it. 

You’re reconsidering actually making a bag and getting to Kame House too when a loud knock on the balcony startles you. 

You freeze in place. It has been a month since you had that argument with Raditz. What is he doing here? Even when weeks went by, you’re not sure you’ve cooled off enough to handle this yet. Or at all, since you were positive you would never see his face again. 

“Open up.” Raditz’s loud voice demands from the other side of the balcony door. “Unless you want me to blast through the wall.”

Fuck. You know he isn’t bluffing. 

Breathing in deeply, you open the door ajar to look him up. He’s still as handsome as ever even when he doesn't have his usual smirk, you want to gouge out your eyes because of how furious it makes you. You lock eyes with him for a brief second before moving to the side to let him in. 

Raditz stands in front of you with his eyes fixed on your face, but your gaze is elsewhere. Now that he is here, you don’t want to apologize first. You’re hurt, but you’re still very angry too. You’re a lot of emotions together at once with him. 

“Are you not even going to look at me?” He asks, annoyed. 

You sigh, slowly, turning your eyes towards him. You can’t decipher the expression on his face, but Raditz is staring at you with such intensity you’re worried he might be seeing right through you. You avert your gaze from him after a second, unsure if you want to slap him again or jump right into his arms. 

You’re startled when Raditz abruptly takes a few steps towards you and grabs your arms, pulling you closer and leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss. A surprised noise escapes you, melting a little inside when you feel him so close after all that time. It takes a second for you to remember that you’re still upset and that you don’t actually want to give in this easily.

“No…” You murmur quietly into the kiss, pushing urgently at his shoulders to get him off. “No, Raditz, I don’t wanna do this!”

“Your body is saying otherwise.” He says with a smirk, hands sliding underneath your shirt and making you shiver.

“I don’t wanna do this when I’m mad at you!” You clarify, pulling away from him the best you can in his embrace. 

“Isn’t this the best way to make amends?” 

That smug grin of his grows wider and your face heats up, but you still roll your eyes. 

“I’m not doing this until you apologize. What you said to me hurt…” 

Raditz pulls away, frowning deeply, his hands closing into fists then opening and closing again a couple of times. You realize that he probably won’t apologize first; you wonder if he actually can apologize at all, not because he’s incapable, but maybe it’s something he has never done before. 

“Though I guess, I really hurt you too.” You say after seconds of silence, taking the first step. “I didn’t mean to talk to you that way… I’m sorry. What I said was true though, I do care about you…”

He nods, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What am I supposed to say?” Raditz asks, with his eyes still on your face.

“I don’t know… tell me how you feel?” His frown gets deeper and you want to laugh because he looks like a petulant child who simply can’t have things his way. You offer him a small smile instead. “Do they not teach Saiyans how to apologize?”

“We do not apologize.” 

You sigh, your smile turning sour because you expected that answer. 

“It wasn’t my intention to upset you.” Raditz says, to your surprise, as he gets closer again with a smirk. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”

You huff, smiling despite yourself, when his hands reach for you again, pulling you closer by your shirt until you’re flush against him.

“You’re only saying that cause you wanna get laid!”

“I’m saying that because I want you.” He leans down to bury his face in your neck, pressing his nose to your skin and breathing in deeply. “If you do not want this, tell me to stop.”

Goosebumps form on your skin when you feel his breath near your ear, and you jolt when his hands trail under your shirt once more. 

You don’t know if that apology of his is enough, but he did say he was sorry in a way.

When Raditz realizes you won’t stop him, he removes all your clothes urgently, and you help him get rid of his as he kisses you fervently. You feel his desperation by the way his hands gripped your body, pressing you as close as possible while his lips devoured you. You had to pull away for air, but he just kept planting kisses down your jaw and neck.

You soon forget why you’ve been mad all this time, and your mind goes completely blank when he lays you on the bed and kneels down on the floor, grinning cheekily as he throws your legs over his shoulders. 

“I may not be good with words, but I know I’m damn good at other things.” Raditz purrs, tracing his lips on the inside of your thighs.

You laugh breathily because he’s obviously right, and you’re too weak to argue about whatever you were talking about before.

Whatever Raditz gets out of going down on you, you don’t know, but you don’t ponder on the thought when he coaxes you into coming twice with just his mouth in what must be record time. You’re still in haze when he crawls on top of you, kissing you gently as he pushes his cock inside you. 

“Fuck, I needed this…” He grunts in your ear, once he’s fully sheathed. “I need you. I want you.”

Raditz sets a steady yet hard pace, slamming his hips against yours. You whimper, your body still sensitive, and after a few rough thrusts you get closer to the edge again. You don’t even try to fight it or to make it last longer; after having come twice already, you’re too weak to do much. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you hold him close as your release washes over you, shuddering and letting out a stuttered moan. Raditz groans against your skin before biting down your neck, moving into you faster until his body tenses, coming inside with a guttural growl.

He practically collapses on top of you once he’s spent but you don’t mind it; it’s nice to feel him so close after so many days when you were getting used to the idea that you wouldn’t meet him again. Running your hands up and down his back and threading your fingers through his hair, you sigh contently until he rolls over to the side. 

When he pulls you closer with an arm around your shoulder and his tail on your waist, you look at him with wide eyes. He rarely initiates cuddling. 

“I thought I was never going to have you again.” Raditz confesses quietly, only for you to hear. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come back either…” You respond softly. “I didn’t want that to be the last time we saw each other. Everything I said… You shouldn’t take my word for it anyway.”

“Didn’t you say you meant it?”

“When I said I care about you, yeah, I did, but everything else… I mean, you know me enough. I come home to an empty apartment every day. Who am I to talk about how you live your life…”

Your eyes are looking at the window, fixed on the sky, tinted with dark orange as the sun sets, but you can feel his eyes trained on your face. 

“I still have a lot to apologize for, is that what you’re saying?” Raditz asks, pressing you closer.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He hums in response, and you shut up for once, not wanting to drag this along anymore. When he presses his nose to the top of your head, breathing in your scent, you close your eyes, relaxing for a minute, pleased that he has magically decided to come and stay for at least a little while.

“You didn’t ask me to clean myself this time.” Raditz casually says, and you snort. You’re aware that you didn’t, but you also didn’t catch any weird smell when he was close, so you don’t really care.

“I was just ignoring how dirty you are.”

“Is that so?” He shifts, moving even closer and pressing his lips to your neck again. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

You’re only human, and Raditz is looking at you with eyes that make you want to sink and drown in them. He effortlessly carries you to the shower, and as water falls down both of your bodies, he kisses you heatedly when he slides inside you again, moving at a steady pace, and it doesn’t take long until you both come simultaneously. 

Later that night, when he’s sleeping by your side with an arm draped over your waist, tears well up in your eyes. You don’t dare to think about it, let alone say it out loud, but you know how you feel. You know well what the word is for how you feel towards him. Anxiety about the upcoming days keeps you from reveling in your feelings because you know this won’t end well. This was supposed to be just casual but you had been naive to think it could remain that way as time went by. 

Swallowing down your feelings, and telling yourself to keep quiet about them and how much it’s going to hurt once he leaves, you blink your tears away before they can spill as you press closer to Raditz, and try to sleep.

*

Raditz was honest when he said he thought he was never going to lay with you again. He was sure you wouldn’t want to work things out when he got to your place to talk to you, you were the one who told him to leave after all. Thankfully, he had been wrong; he figured he would have to say sorry even if he didn’t know how. But when he kissed you and your body responded to him, he knew not all was lost. He’s very aware he did the bare minimum, but apologizing is something he has never done, not like this, not when he’s actually sorry and has to show himself vulnerable to someone else. It’s comforting to know you did the same for him. 

He feels you moving more than usual when the two of you go to sleep that night, as well as how tense your body is against his. He’s close to actually asking if there’s something wrong, but you end up falling asleep at some point. 

After sharing a bed with you for so many nights, Raditz already knows you’re not a light sleeper, not like he is. He moves to press closer when he wakes up the next morning, and you don’t even notice, too deep in your slumber to respond to his gesture. He can’t see your face from his position; your back is against his chest, the faint sunlight filtering through the window highlights the line of your body, and he can smell your hair. Small benefits from lying down like  that. 

The desire to stay like this, with his nose buried in your hair and an arm wrapped around your waist while the sun rises, is unfamiliar and confusing, yet not entirely unwelcome. Since he never actually had sex and slept with someone before, especially not as many times, he’s not sure how normal it is to feel this way, but it brings him a sense of peace that he has never experienced before. The closest feeling to this one was the one he got after purging a planet, like satisfaction from having finished a job, and knowing he could relax for a bit. Yet at the same time, it’s unfair to compare the two, they were similar, but nothing alike. 

Saiyans rarely mated for life, but it wasn’t completely uncommon. Raditz is well aware, his parents were one of the few mated couples on the planet. But it had been a long time ago, and the image of everyone else he may have known is fuzzy. Is this how his parents felt when they were with each other? 

He knows he’s become quite fond of you; after you told him to leave last time and the prospect of never touching you again sank in, how important you are to him became much more obvious. But what's more surprising is that it doesn’t bother him at all. 

Except for the fact that Vegeta and Nappa are coming to this planet God knows when. Raditz has lost track of time a long time ago, all he knows is that they are getting here someday. 

He remembers well that he was looking for the Dragon Balls too. For immortality, or something. He’s been rethinking that wish for a few days now, but there isn’t any alternative that satisfies him. 

His focus shifts when you stir, humming softly as you wake up. You look comically startled to see him staring at you when you turn to him with sleepy eyes. 

“Hey,” You mumble, clearing your throat, “You should have woken me up if you were awake.”

“Why?” His tail that has been draped over your hip tightens, holding you closer to his body. 

“I don’t know, aren’t you hungry, or bored?”

“I’m not.” Raditz chuckles; maybe he’s a little hungry, but he rather stays like this. “You snore when you sleep and that’s pretty entertaining.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do. Pretty loudly.”

“Well, you snore too, and even louder!”

You’re looking at him with drowsy eyes, rosy cheeks, and messy hair; he can’t resist.

Laughing quietly, Raditz brings the hand on your waist up to your cheek to stroke it, pulling you closer towards him and gently pressing his lips to yours. You make a surprised soft noise and squirm in his arms, making him smile into the kiss, completely pleased with your reaction. He plants another brief kiss before pulling awake, and you stare at him with wide eyes.  

“Why did you do that?” You ask shyly, blushing deeper. He’s not sure why you’re blushing, you had kissed each other before, plenty of times. 

But he’s never kissed you just because, with no intentions of sex. 

Raditz remains quiet, only staring at your face for a little while before you move to sit up.

“I should get up… I’ll make breakfast.”

Your cheeks still have a faint pink hue as he watches you walk out the room towards the bathroom. 

You stare at him more often than usual during the morning, while he eats, and he usually wouldn’t mind it, but you’re not even saying anything that would explain why you keep your eyes trained on him with such intensity. 

“You keep staring at me, girl, what are you thinking?”

“I didn’t realize I was… Sorry.”

Raditz grunts in response, noticing that you look embarrassed for being caught. He doesn’t get it, though. 

“I don’t like it when you call me ‘girl’.”

“What? Why? You are a girl.” He frowns, confused.

“I am but I’m not a child, I’m a woman.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“How old are you, anyway? You look around Goku’s age.”

“I don’t know.” Raditz replies after some time. 

“You don’t know how old you are?”

“No. I was seven when Planet Vegeta was destroyed. I stopped counting after that.”

You look sad for whatever reason; he doesn’t get that either. 

“Goku was sent here as a baby…” You start after some time, thinking out loud and locking eyes with him. “Do you remember how old you were when he was born?”

“I was six.”

“So, a year later, your planet was destroyed?”

“More or less, yes.”

“Mmh… Goku was 24 when he died-”

“Can we stop talking about Kakarot?”

“-and he would have been 25 by now. And you’re 6 years older than him. So you’re 31.”

Raditz blinks, unsure of how to react. 

“You’re not that much older than me then, I was a bit worried.” You smile cheerily. 

“You were worried?” 

“A bit, yeah. You could have been 100 years old for all I know. But I’m glad we are close in age.”

“Is age that important? How old are you?” He eyes you up and down; he doesn’t have any concept about how humans age, but you look young. 

Do humans stay young for a long time, like Saiyans? Doubtful. Saiyans were built like that to fight for decades, but humans do not do that. 

“I’m 28.” You smile wider, resting your arms on the table and leaning closer. “You also seem like a Scorpio.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s a human thing, according to when you were born, you have certain personality traits.”

“You humans sure have a lot of free time on your hands.” 

Raditz yanks your chair closer to his with his foot, making you jolt, obviously surprised, but you keep talking. 

“Yeah, well, we were never involved in intergalactic wars. But I’m not sure if you’re more like a Scorpio or a Gemini…”

“I don’t know what any of that means.” 

He effortlessly picks you, making you sit on his lap and holding you close as his lips find your neck, pressing kisses up your jaw. 

“You can be a Scorpio because you’re a little stubborn, among other things…” You giggle when he presses his nose to the skin under your ear, taking in your scent. “Or a Gemini because you’re mischievous, and a little tense…”

Raditz isn’t really paying too much attention to what you’re saying, he’s too preoccupied with how your body feels, how soft your skin is, and how sweet your smell is to respond to your words.

“You’re not listening to me…” You say, quietly and breathily, as he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt.

“I’m busy.” He nibbles your jaw, and you shiver slightly in his embrace. “I don’t understand a word you’re saying anyway.”

Capturing your lips next, you’re finally silenced as he kisses you ardently, digging his fingers into your flesh to press you as close as possible. You hum contently, kissing him just as eagerly, and Raditz feels his chest tightening with adoration. 

It’s a strange sensation, being aware of his affection for you, and the affection itself, having never experienced anything close to it. He could spend hours just sitting there, kissing you, touching you, and even more. 

When he pulls away to take off your shirt, Raditz notices that the sky has turned pitch black, leaving your apartment in the dark. It’s morning, the sun was out just a minute ago. You gasp when you notice it too, and you stiffen in his arms. Looking at your face, even in the shadows, he immediately can tell that you know what’s going on. 

“What is this?” He asks, staring at you. 

He hears you swallow as your hold on his shoulders tightens, but you don’t answer. 

Raditz stands up, helping you stay on your feet before he walks to the window to look outside. There’s nothing going on besides the sky being completely obscured. He focuses on detecting energies, but there’s no one who catches his attention. 

The darkness only lasts a few minutes before the sun is out again, just in the same spot it was before. He has been on Earth enough to know that hasn’t been a common occurrence on that planet. And there isn’t any moon for it to be an eclipse.

When Raditz turns to look at you, you seem upset, with your brows furrowed and mouth slightly open. 

“You know what’s going on. Tell me.” He wants to sound demanding, but he has grown too soft to even raise his voice at you.

You open and close your mouth a few times, and he waits patiently for an explanation, but before he can get one, your phone rings. He’s about to tell you to ignore it, but you quickly turn to pick it up. His eyes follow you, and he listens in to your conversation (as he usually does when you talk on the phone with someone).

“Oh, hi, Bulma… Yeah, I saw. I figured it was you. So Goku is back? Tomorrow? But that’s a month early! Yeah, I know. I’ll be there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Raditz watches as you hang up, and slowly, very slowly, turn to him. You still look distressed as you lock eyes with him. 

“The Saiyans are getting here tomorrow.”

He couldn’t hide the surprised look on his face. Tomorrow? Has it been a year? No, that’s why you said ‘that’s a month early’. It hasn’t been a year, but he has lost track of time to even notice how long it’s been. He’s been too distracted.

“And… They brought Goku back to life. Now you can’t use the Dragon Balls…” 

Raditz frowns. He wanted the Dragon Balls to make a wish (immortality, was it?) but he doesn’t really care about that anymore. 

You’re looking at him with big eyes, and he understands why you seem so upset now. 

When Raditz takes a few steps forward he isn’t really thinking, he just knows that he wants to touch you and feel you close more than ever before. You’re startled by how fast he lunges towards you, and you even gasp when he kisses you. He presses you against the telephone stand, almost tumbling it over, but he really doesn’t care, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He kisses you as if he hasn’t been kissing you the past few days, the past few months, with intensity, tasting your lips and every corner of your mouth.

“Raditz-” You call for him against his lips, clinging to his shoulders. “Wait-”

“I don’t want to wait.” He practically growls, gripping your waist so tight he regrets it, thinking he might have hurt you, but you only hum in response. “I don’t want to talk. Just…”

At a loss of words, he trails off, but luckily you don’t try again. 

You only moan his name, and the occasional curse, when Raditz presses you against the mattress moments later, moving in and out of you at a slow pace, kissing you heatedly the entire time, swallowing down all your noises and all the words that escape your lips. He groans your name against your skin every time he comes, holding you close, knowing this time that he will have to let you go once tomorrow arrives. 

When he decided that this situation with you was just a distraction in what could only be considered a ‘pause’ in the usual pace of his life, he hadn’t been thinking clearly. He feels like he’s bleeding inside again, for different reasons now. 

Raditz stays in bed with you for most of the day (he still knows you’re human, and you can’t possibly keep up with him if he were to actually fuck you all day long, and you both need to eat anyway). For once you don’t talk too much, and he realizes he actually likes it when you do, when you ask him questions or when you quip a witty remark at him. 

He doesn’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow. 

“You’re not going to go there, are you?” Raditz asks you the next morning, eying you up and down as you sit on the bed, tying up your shoes. 

“No, I’m going to be at Kame House.”

“That pink house where we met?”

“Yeah…”

He nods. He doesn’t know why he even asked, if something were to happen to the planet, it wouldn’t matter where you are. 

“I’ll take you there.”

“Oh, I can get there myself.” You show him a small smile. “Thank you, though.”

Raditz would argue but it’s better that way. He can say goodbye to you alone here. 

As soon as you stand up, he kisses you. You get surprised every time, but you return it just the same. He glides his lips over yours, slow and sweet, as he holds your face. This might be the last time he gets to kiss you, so he makes it last until he feels you’re struggling for air. He’s going to miss that hazy look in your eyes when he breaks a kiss, the look you currently have as he leans his forehead against yours. 

Unsure of what to say, Raditz just keeps his eyes locked with yours for a while. You said before you want him to say goodbye whenever he leaves. He doesn’t want to say it, but he does anyway.

“Goodbye.”

His body protests when he takes a step back, his hands on your face leaving you last. You still look distressed, and he waits for a minute, in case you want to say something.

When you don’t, Raditz finally turns to the balcony, opening the door and flying away. 

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

I've spent a while agonizing over how I'm supposed to respond to what's going down on the site rn, honestly I'm not sure I should but I'm doing it anyways

While I am transitioning and it's going pretty well, I wasn't always in the time I've been here and even now I'm not really out irl. This is my carved out corner of internet spot where I felt like I could just be myself, and it's the only social media I really use. It's the only one that's ever felt like a community to me. There are people on here I care about, real people I've never met in person but consider them my friends.

I was hoping I could just slide under the radar on here, but some of my fandom posts really blew up recently so I'm realizing that outside of not posting that's not really in my control. And we've all seen what can happen if I get too big. I've been lucky not to get the kind of bs in my inbox that some folks I know get but who knows. I don't post anything I think will get me struck but again, who knows.

...I think the whole situation is a load of crap. Our glorious CEO and/or the rest of Tumblr staff have been making a mistake and it's been going on for god knows how long, I don't. I'm not sure how safe I feel to keep being here on this site.

I don't really have backup social media, so this is it. If I say or do something stupid, I'm gone (part of why I considered not saying anything), and I'm not too stupid to know when I'm not welcome (which, to be fair, is most places--god don't you love people).

Mutuals, folks who want to stay in contact with me, I can give you my Discord or we can work something out, please message me. At the very least I don't want to lose my friendships from this site.

I'm mad and I feel threatened somewhat, but I'm getting used to it by now. Who was I to think Tumblr was any different from the real world?