#stop being dumb and dangerous

[freetheshit-outofyou]

I rant a lot about holsters, mostly for open carry because if you are running a CCW no one but you should know.

I'm in a burger joint yesterday and this lady walks in with a fanny pack on her hip, with what looked like a Bursa Firestorm 380 in one of those cheap nylon holsters with the Velcro retention strop, attached to the outside of the fanny pack flopping around like a key fob next to her pepper spray.

I looked at that mess, I looked at her, I looked back at the whole mess from two steps further back and though...Humm... Is she going to be surprised when all of that mess is stolen and used against her? I think yes.

I fully support OC, if you are going to do it USE A RETENTION HOLSTER that is attached solidly or just don't. Please.

[princessefemmelesbian]

Transandrophobia truthers are so damn racist and white oh my fucking god y'all actually piss me the fuck off every time you tokenize Black and brown men for your stupid as fuck "mra but make it trans-inclusive" ideology created by a creepy guy with a corrective rape fetish(something I'll never let up on for as long as I live, btw). If I ever see another one of y'all say "Black and brown men face discrimination because they're seen as overly masculine and that's why masculinity in men is oppressed in this society" I will literally kill myself. Stop using Black and brown men as brownie points for your bullshit arguments about misandry being real when you don't have the slightest idea how racialized oppression works. White boys are so annoying and dumb istfg.

@punkeropercyjackson @punknicodiangelo @pinkpinkstarlet

[shitouttabuck]

what if i wrote a twisters au……….

[jaffre]

doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

stuck in the what-if spiral 😭

[nexo-nex]

something something

[eggs-love-loki]

Me: I’ll watch one episode of my hero after dinner that’ll be fun :)

Me three episodes later, having gone from crying earlier to just pure distress by the end: Well that was the worst choice ever

[bellamygate]

parents who immediately pull out their phone to film their kids when their kid is witnessing something 'paranormal' instead of comforting them should b banned from social media until they learn how to act right I just saw a video of a mother whose daughter was like. there's someone behind that door. and she goes. yea creepy things have been happening in the house leading us to believe someone is squatting in our home. meanwhile the tiny little girl is terrified of what could possibly be a fully grown REAL person standing at the other side of the door freaking out her kid and this dumb cunt of a mother is filming her like oooOoooOoooh we have a ghost r u scared is this what's scaring u and she OPENS the door while the little girl is standing right in front of it like ???? the fjck u gonna do if there really IS an intruder in your house you're not protecting ur daughter and that's literally ur only job as a parent in this moment

[anauwhere]

STOP SAYING YOU OR SOMEONE IS AN UNDERDEVELOPED IDIOT CHILD FROM THE AGE 18 TO 24 YOU ARE AN ADULT, YOU ARE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL IN YOUR EMOTIONS OR MATURITY OR WAY OF DOING STUFF YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE THAT AGE FFS

[just-thoughts-no-vibes]

I knew we would eventually reach a point where masses of people would misinterpret Arcane, but I never imagined it would be this bad.

Yes, I absolutely agree that season 2 was rushed, especially Act 3, and it is undeniable that the series would have benefited from at least one more episode if not an entire act. However, the current discourse about the show is so superficial that it's impossible to have a conversation about anything deeper but a mere synopsis of the characters and story.

So many of you expected this series to hold your hand and dumb everything down so you can understand it. But when it wasn't the case, you all started rioting and calling the characters vague, the plot bad, and the ships underdeveloped.

The amount of people who value spoken text more than the actions of the characters is worrying. And more worrying than that is the amount of those who interpret the said actions so superficially. I can't believe it needs to be explained that it wasn't Vi's death that led to the "good" timeline, but the lack of hextech. The result would have been the same if either of them had died. It wasn't about Vi, but about the child that died because of dangerous technology and that therefore that technology must not be used. The mischaracterization of Vi in general is insane. Call me biased and unfair, but the moment I hear you don't like her I will assume you didn't understand the show.

Also, the whole discourse around Caitvi scene in episode 8 is giving brainsmooth. No, Vi didn't choose Cait over Jinx, quite the opposite. No, Cait didn't plan all of it to fuck Vi. No, Vi didn't do it because she felt forced or because she is a horny animal who doesn't care about her sister. No, them fucking in a cell is not about the class difference, but about the fact that Vi felt an insane rush of emotions after realizing that Cait would let go of her revenge and help Jinx escape, all for her. Yes, I do agree that it would be nice if we got a longer conversation between Vi and Caitlyn and it would feel great to hear Cait apologize, but I'll always value actions over words. Her talking to Jinx, recognizing that she is just as bad as her, and choosing to trust Vi that her sister can change, thus letting Jinx escape will always mean more than any verbal apology and I'll die on that hill.

Also, it was Jinx's decision to let go and walk away. It was not about Vi trying to get to Vander, but about Jinx being tired of everything. Even if that fight didn't happen, the result would be the same: Jinx would leave because she knows that Vi couldn't do that. She knew that the two of them couldn't have a normal life together and that Vi would never give up on her. Jinx didn't "die" because Vi pushed her or failed her, but because she loved her too much. Whether you believe that she is dead or that she escaped, it's her decision either way.

Again, I agree that too much happened too quickly, but stop confusing your stupidity and inability to read between the lines with the quality of the series.

Arcane is flawed but still brilliant.

[monstersflashlight]

Pavlovian response (Day 1/8 of 10k followers event)

Werewolf x fem!reader || dub-com, exhibitionism, public sex, knotting

It starts like a joke, but when it starts working… You keep doing it. You’ve been training him for what feels like forever but had only been a couple weeks. Every time you are excited and a bit horny, you ring the bell. With just a tiny ring, he’s ready and leaking, ready to fuck you senseless.

And it’s fun. For both of you.

Until you ring the bell one day by accident, and he gets to you with a raging hard on and mouth salivating already, almost feral. You laugh about it, and he looks at you confused and ready to fuck, but you just chuckle and tell him to calm down. He doesn’t like that, but you keep going through your day. After a while you start to give it a good though, and the more you think about it, the more you want to test it.

So you start doing every once in a while, alternating it with times you actually have sex with him. And it works every single time. You accidentally trained your werewolf husband into one of Pavlov’s dogs, they irony is not lost on you as you chuckle at the thought. Maybe that’s a bit offensive to werewolves, but so funny you can’t stop from giggling every time you ring the bell.

But then it goes south.

You are going to tease him like any other day, but you don’t look at the moon calendar before doing it. Teasing your werewolf husband any day is dangerous, but close to the full moon is almost suicidal. But you are dumb enough to not realize, to do it before thinking twice about it. You ring the bell and go outside, on your way to the pack meeting.

You don’t hear him approach, you don’t feel his heat, you don’t realize he’s behind you until his chest is covering your back and you are being pushed to the ground and he starts grinding his monstrous hard on against the seam of your clothed pussy.

You moan without having time to stop it, and he growls. That shouldn’t make you as wet as it does, but as soon as you hear him you are soaking your panties and wanting to rock back into his dick. You try to break free of him, but you feel his clawed hands against your back, pushing you to the ground as he pushes your ass up. You are in complete submission as he manhandles you until you are panting on the ground and your pants and panties are wet with his precum. He’s leaking so much you can hear it against your clothes.

“We- The pack… The pack-meeting,” you get out as he keeps grinding against your center, making your brain fuzzy and your body thrum with anticipation.

“You think it’s funny?” He growls, his voice so low and dangerous that you had to swallow a whimper. “You think you’d get away with training me into your good pet?” You want to laugh, to cry, you are not sure. But his dick is pressing your clothes against your clit and creating the most amazing friction, driving you so insane.

“I- I’m sorry,” you apologize, your voice breathy and needy, completely messed up after the constant grinding of his dick against your center.

He laughs cruelly, his body cracking behind you. “No, you are not. You love being treated roughly, you love when I fuck you senseless… And now, you are going to get every little bit of that.” You feel him change before you feel his claws prickling at your sides. His body turning so much bigger, so much stronger. You are swallowed by the size of him, so big and feral.

“He- Here?” You ask, trying to focus on the fact that you were outside, close to the pack-meeting point. Closer to all your friends. And you were about to get fucked.

“Yes.” He growls against your ear, his fangs too big to fit his mouth, saliva dripping down your neck as he holds you down and tears your clothes away. Just like that you are naked against the floor and his dick is rubbing against your soaked entrance.

“Somebody could see!” You exclaim, a bit alarmed. He growls against your ear. You groan, his feral nature turning you on more than anything ever could. “They- they are going to see!” You repeat, but he’s too far gone for that. Too far gone to care about anybody seeing you.

“Let them,” he growls. His dick pushes inside of you as you cry out.

He fucks you like a piston, fucking in and out of your pussy like he’s the owner of it, of you. And you can’t stop the ah ah ah you are letting out every time the tip of his dick hits your happy place.

When everyone starts arriving, you want to melt into the ground, but also melt into him. The pleasure is so intense and it’s only heightened by the eyes on you. You are exposed, your pussy being fucked in front of everyone as you groan and moan uncontrollably. He fucks you ferally, no control, no finesse, no caress at all about your well-being, just using you as his full moon toy.

And everyone is watching.

You want to be embarrassed, you want to be mad at him, but in reality you are just hot all over seeing everyone looking at you as you get fucked. Most of them say nothing, some of them are rubbing themselves through their clothes. And you can’t stop the broken groan escaping your mouth at the sight.

You come. Just like that, with everyone watching how much of a slut you are for him. Everyone watching as you get fucked without an inch out of your life. When he starts expanding inside of you, you scream. He growls and bites the back of your neck, making you submit completely to him as his knot fills you. You cry out again, whimpering as he grinds his hips against your pussy. Someone laughs at your pathetic attempt of moving, and your face is hot with embarrassment.

He fills you to the brim, and by the time his dick deflates, there’s an orgy going around you, some jerking off, some fucking, everyone is in some kind of nakedness. He pulls out and howls, enticing a bunch of responses from the rest of the pack. He looks at your abused pussy, leaking and stretched and licks you clean with his long and raspy tongue, so inhuman in his transformed form. You groan and come again, crying out as everyone around you cheers.

He picks you up and walks away. “Never thought she was such a slut…” Someone says as your werewolf husband carries you away, his tail wiggling behind him as he takes you to his den, to your house, to keep fucking you until he’s satisfied.

[dragonofthestone]

Beyond the physical though just experiencing and touching anything knew he's always a bit nervous.

Grass kinda freaked him out at first when he followed Kaze down from the rocky area where he'd found him.

Looked weird, smelled weird felt even weirder. Only after seeing Kaze walk through it (deeming it not dangerous) did he dare try but kinda did so with sort of odd hop not sure what to think of it. kind of soft but also prickly. Constantly moving and shifting beneath his feet, not like the flat smooth surface he was used to.

Still after sometime he did relax and come to quite enjoy the feel of grass.

Was def not a fan the first time trying heated food- why is it hot? why does the food hurt his mouth? food also has strange texture do not like.

Tim also 100% stuck is hand into flames / at least just over them, because so pretty and warm. Was probably warned not to do it but did it anyway (look sometimes you gotta learn the hard way)

only reason he wasn't burned or at least no scars were left was because he does at least have enough brains to 'stop doing thing when thing starts to hurt' so likely would only be a bad first maybe minor second degree that if he was a normal person might leave a slight mark but would also fade / not last but for him was quickly and easily healed up with no sign of injury.

Lad has a lot of 'firsts' ahead of him that while I'm not saying something needs to be written about each one at the same time it is something I'd love to explore more in areas

Getting him new clothes, experiencing a proper bath (and brush of his hair tbh chances are he's got a few mats in there)

Just anything really tbh

[classyrbf]

THREE'S A CROWD...OR IS IT! — GOJO + GETO

SYNOPSIS...gojo and geto don’t mind having a third, it adds to the fun of their relationship if you know what I mean

INFO...gojo x geto x fem!reader, poly(?), riding, anal, recording, fingers, squirting, reader is a complete horndog, praise, degradation, oral (m!receiving), double penetration, creampies, overstim, quite literally filthy just pure filth, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

“Look at how she’s riding you, Suguru. She’s so fucking desperate to cum,” Gojo lets out a breathy laugh, gripping the flesh of your ass while you slam your hips down on Geto’s throbbing cock. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve came already, jumping back and forth between both of them. “Come on, pretty, arch your back more and work for it.” He lands a harsh slap against your ass, humming to himself as he watches the way your pussy creams around his boyfriend’s cock.

“Such a greedy little thing aren’t you,” Geto rasps, looking up at you with a lustful gaze. “Putting on such a show—nnngh fuck.” He grits his teeth, your pussy milking his cock, fluttering around him. He’s so deep inside you, it feels like your entire body is melting, completely on fire. No matter how tired you were, you just couldn’t stop cumming.

“Mmmph, fuck I’m close! Yes, yes!” You whimper, biting down on your lower lip when you feel your orgasm building. The pressure becoming all too much to contain. “Fuckkkk!” Your body shakes above him as clear liquid leaks from your sopping cunt, soaking your thighs.

Geto lifts you from his cock, holding onto your waist as he allows Satoru to rub his slender fingers along your leaky slit. With your legs still quivering, you find it hard to hold back your whimpers as both men laugh in your ears, so satisfied with the way you were permanently slutted out for them. Gojo coos, rubbing your swollen clit in circles as a means to tease you. “More, more, please.” You grip onto Geto’s broad shoulders helpless, digging your nails into his skin. And when you feel his fingers slide into your aching hole, you let out the most lewd cry known to existence, both men’s cocks twitching greedily.

Geto’s large hands spread your ass, holding it open for Satoru as he fingers you tight pussy, creaming all over his fingers as he pushes up against your g-spot over and over at a rapid pace that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “Awe, Satoru, I think you made her go stupid.” He huffs with a smile, grabs hold of your jaw and holding your face up like some trophy. “What a pretty dumb thing you are,” he whispers in your ear, his degrading yet praising words went straight to your pussy. “You like being ours?” He pressed a wet kiss to your jaw as you nodded, eyes fluttering shut.

“You’re gonna make me cum again!” You squealed, breathing heavily as your gripped onto Geto’s muscular arms. “Oh my g-god!” Your entire body shivered with pleasure as you came around Satorus fingers, earning a warm giggle from him as he toyed with your soaked cunt. Before you knew you it, you went limp from the sheer amount of exhaustion, but god were still so turned on, still so hellbent on cumming more and more.

“Taste yourself on my fingers, baby. Come here.” He guided your head slightly upwards, grinning at the way you obediently stuck out your tongue and took his fingers in your mouth, swirling your tongue around them. You stared up at him hazy eyes, moaning around his finger until you let them go with a pop. “You’re fucking dangerous,” he uttered under his breath. He reached his hand down, stroking his dick slowly from the base to the tip. “Spit on it for me.” You gathered all the spit you could, spit right onto his dick no matter how messy or sloppy it was. Gojo couldn’t handle himself anymore, snatching you from Suguru and pushing you down onto the floor. “Join us.” He looked at his raven haired boyfriend who had a smug look on his face.

Geto stood to his feet, grabbing his phone from off the nightstand to record the moment that was about to happen. He couldn’t believe a pretty girl like you was so excited to suck two dicks at once. You were gleaming, a cheerful smile on your face as he hit record. “That’s its, baby. Look up at the camera for me while you suck it.” You slapped Geto leaky tip on your tongue while still jerking off Gojo before switching sides and doing the same.

“She’s such a fucking tease,” Gojo groaned as he grew impatient, leading him to grab a fistful of your air and shove his dick down your throat. Your eyes immediately went wide, gagging around his thick length while he fucked your face. “Your throat feels so fucking good. Fuck.” He tosses his back, sweet moans filling the room. Your eyes grew teary before he pulled you off of his cock, strings of saliva coating your lips while you gasped for air. “Messy fucking girl.” Satoru slapped his dick on your face.

With his hand still full of your hair, he guided your mouth to Geto’s pulsing cock, watching the way you eagerly stuck your tongue out as you took him down your throat. A soft groan left the man’s lips, clenching his jaw when you wrapped your hand around his base and bobbed your head up and down. “Good girl. Keep it up.” He hissed when he hit the back of your throat. You released him from your mouth, dragging your tongue down his veiny shaft, licking and sucking on his heavy balls while Gojo bucked his hips into your hands.

Your eyes veered over towards Gojo, smiling up at him before doing the exact same thing to him. You could tell he was more sensitive on his balls than Geto was, moaning louder when he felt your tongue on his balls, his eyes rolling into the back of his when you took one then in you mouth, gently sucking on it. “God, you’re so slutty.” Even though his words may have been harsh towards others, he said it with the utmost lust and appreciation. His hands cupped your face as he bent down and kissed your lips, sloppily dragging his tongue over your bottom lip and sucking on your tongue.

He lifted you with ease, pushing you back onto the plush bed, your head falling into the messy comforter. All while Gojo was making out with your and trailing his hands over your body, Geto was setting up his phone on the nightstand, grabbing lube from the bedside drawer. You were completely unaware of what they wanted to do with you, but at this point there was no going back. “We wanna try something with you.” Gojo kissed along your jaw, licking at the skin on your neck, ghosting his fingers over your cunt.

Gojo flipped you over to you were on top of him, kneading the plush flesh of your ass your rubbed your wet pussy up and down his shaft. A little yelped escaped from your lips when you felt a cold substance on your ass, looking back to see Geto, smirking down at you with a lube bottle in his hand. “I’ve never done anal,” you said worriedly, but god the idea of it sounded so hot. You’ve always seen it in porn and always wondered how good it felt but you knew it’d take some time before the stinging stretch would dissipate.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart.” His fingers massaged the lube around your rim, making sure to get it nice and wet. “We’ll take good care of you.” He rubbed the lube over his dick as well, biting down on his bottom lip as the mere thought of him and gojo fucking you at the same time. He couldn’t wait to see turn into a complete mess before them.

“Yeah,” Gojo smirked, “we got you.” His hands cupped your ass, spreading it open wider for Geto as he rubbed his swollen tip against your hole. “You can take it, right, baby?” Gojo landed a swift spank on your ass causing you to jolt.

“Y-yeah, I can take it.” You nodded at both of the men, squeezing your eyes shut when you felt his fat head press against your ass. “Oh my god!” You gasped, gripping onto the sheets below you. “Fuck!” The stretch made you wince and you pulled away from Geto to get a small break.

“Take it nice and easy.” He rubbed his hand up and down your back as Gojo placed sweet kisses on your cheek. You could feel him push in again, feeling his head make it through. “Ahh, shit,” he breathed, sucking in a breath.

“Mmmph!” You bit down on your knuckles, feeling Geto add more lube to help slide in easier. Slowly you could feel every inch of his enter inside of you. The stretch hurt, but damn did it feel good. “Nngh!” You cried, feeling Gojo grip onto you tighter until Geto was fully inside of you, resting for a minute. “You’re inside. I can feel it so fucking deep!”

What you didn’t expect was Gojo to lift your hips just high enough to where he could slide his cock inside of your pussy. With wide eyes you stared down at him, mouth agape as you inhaled deeply. They were both inside of you and without even moving, without even making you cum, your head was already spinning. You felt so full of them, succumbing to the feeling of how deep inside you they were.

And once they started moving, you let out the most wanton moans, falling forward on Gojo’s broad chest as Satoru thrusted his hips upward and Geto slammed his against your ass. You couldn’t even form words to express the amount of bliss and ecstasy you were feeling coursing through your entire body. “Pussy is so fucking wet. God, you feel so good. Yeah, take it like the slut you are,” Gojo grunted, harshly grabbing your ass before spanking it a few times.

Geto was mesmerized at the way you were taking both of their cocks, watching the way they slipped in and out of both of your holes while sat there and took it, body limp and staring in a fucked out haze like you were drunk on their cocks. And you were. You drunk, high, whatever it is, you were. “You like it, baby? Hm? Speak to us, pretty girl. Let and me and Satoru hear those moans,” he huffed, gritting his teeth when he pressed deeper into you.

“I love it! I love it so fucking much!” You cried. “Feels so fucking good, so deep inside of me! Fuck, I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum! I’m—” Your body began quivering as a deep guttural groan escaped your lips, the orgasm being so intense that your entire body felt like it froze up.

Gojo couldn’t withstand the way your pussy was clenching around him, milking him effortlessly with each thrust. His thrusts grew sloppier and faster as he chased his orgasm, before thick ropes of cum painted your velvety walls. “Goddamn! Fuck me, baby.” He moaned, holding onto you tightly as he pushed his seed deeper inside of you, fucking you nonstop.

“Keep going! Keep going! I wanna cum again! Please!” You begged, the sloppy sounds of your squelching pussy and skin on skin bounced off the walls of the bedroom.

Geto’s hips trembled as reached the brink of his orgasm, powering through it as he came inside you, still slamming his hips deep inside until his cum was leaking out. “Fuckkkk!” Geto let out an animalistic growl.

With all three of your sweaty bodies pressed together, and the mess of all of your cum mixed together, the filthy scene and thought only made you more turned on, more desperate. “Don’t fucking stop. Oooh, I’m gonna cum again. I’m gonna cummm—ahh!” You let out a scream of pleasure as your body quivered with such intensity, your orgasm taking over completely.

“You take it so fucking well, baby.” Gojo murmured against your ear, panting heavily as he pounded his cock into you. “You want us to cum inside you again, huh? Fill up your holes?”

“Yes! Yes!” You cried, gasping for air. “Oh my god!” Your eyes crossed and rolled back before Geto pushed your head down into the mattress. You bit onto the comforter, trying to suppress your moans but it was to no avail. Geto leaned down towards his boyfriend, pressing his lips to his as they sloppily made out while simultaneously pounding you. As if on cue, both of them could feel their orgasms approaching, swallowing each others moans. Before you knew it and they knew it, they were both cumming inside of you at the same time, breathy curses and moans shared between them.

For a minute they both stayed inside of you, all three of you trying to catch your breath before Geto pulled out first, looking down as he admired the way your hole was pulsating and his thick cum spilled out. Satoru did the same, pulling you off of his cock while his cum dropped down your folds and onto his balls. Your body felt weak, but you found the strength and roll off of Gojo and onto the bed where you were still trying to catch your breath.

Both of them cuddled beside you, pressing kisses to your jaw as they meekly smiled against your skin. “You doing alright, sweetheart?” Geto asked, tracing his fingers down your abdomen.

“I just need to rest because…holy shit.” You breathlessly chuckled.

They laughed with you, sharing your exact same thought. “You did amazing,” Gojo chimed in. “I can’t r thank you enough.” He locks eyes with Geto. “We can’t thank you enough.” He pulls you for a kiss but this time is sweet and soft, not heated and sloppy like before.

Geto pulls your gaze his way, also kissing you, pressing his lips against yours longer. “I almost forgot.” He sits up and grabs his phone off the nightstand, ending the recording. “Good memory to keep.” He teases.

“Shut up!” You shyly turn away from him as he was just pounding your ass just minutes ago.

“You know I can’t resist teasing you.” His lips curl into a smile.

“Is there anything we can do make it up to you for this?” Gojo asked, running his thumb over your bottom lip. “You were such a good girl we have to repay you.”

You thought about it for a second, staring at the ceiling. “Um,” you paused, “a nice hot, bubble bath with candles and some good food. Like that after sex food that hits the spot.” You smile, sharing looks between both of them.

“As you wish.”

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

[absolutepokemontrash]

I’m just imagining MC trying to curb the brothers’ more dangerous sinful urges, both for their own good and the good of the people around them, but it doesn’t always work out, and MC needs to settle for small victories.

Mammon: Gah! Human! It’s in my DNA! I’m hardwired to want things! I’m the demon of greed dammit! I want to steal!

MC: No! No theft!

Mammon: Not even one bit of grand larceny? ONE jewellery store???

MC: NO!

Mammon: MC-

MC: OH FOR THE LOVE OF- go rob that fucking vending machine to get the urges out! Shoo! Shoo!

Mammon: *grumbles on the way to shake the shit out of a vending machine*

——————

MC: So this is called Chess Boxing, you can stimulate your brain in between giving it blunt force trauma, and inflicting it on your opponent!

Satan: I don’t know, MC… I’m not sure if I’ll like i-

*elapsed time: 3 minutes*

Satan, covered in blood, both his own, and otherwise: WOOOOO! CHECKMATE, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!

Random wrath demon, on the floor: *shaky thumbs up*

—————

MC: This is called competetive eating, Beel.

Beelzebub: So I need to eat all of these humans eating those tacos before the timer runs out. I don’t know, MC, that sounds easy.

MC: Beel- no- you’re eating the tacos. It’s a competition to see who can eat more food, not people.

Beelzebub: Ohhhhh, that sounds much better! :3

————

MC: So instead of being such a dick-

Lucifer: You love it.

MC: Shut up. Anyway, instead of being such a dick, you can channel your pride into other things, like putting your brothers’ report cards up on the fridge!

Lucifer: MC, I would do that if they got anything worth being proud of.

MC: Maybe you can be proud of yourself for investing in a fucking tutor then, Ms Trunchbull.

————

MC: Belphie- Belphie wake up, we need to find something more sustainable to channel your sloth into.

Belphie: *snore*

MC: …you are a drain on my mental energy.

*MC is immediately swatted by Belphie’s tail*

————

MC: Hey Asmo, you know those incredibly detailed dirty roleplay stories you text me on a regular basis?

Asmo: How could I forget~?

MC: Yeah yeah yeah, so do you want to stop traumatizing me with those and go write a dark romance novel that’ll make some booktok girlie scream over?

Asmo: Oooooo… tempting~!

————

MC: Hey Levi, why don’t we envy something attainable so you have something to work towards? Like showering more!

Leviathan: What..? What’s this all about??

MC: I’m just trying to help you grow beyond constantly feeling envy to everyone around you, because you’re pretty great, Levi!

MC: And you can start showing the world you’re great by showering more!

Leviathan: MC, I don’t know…

MC: Watch, you can envy how much I don’t stink! Levi, please, you smell like moldy Monster Energy…

[the-faceless-bride]

More Ideas for KNY (demon slayer) different characters ♡ (SOME NSFW CONTENT FOR SANEMI AND MUZAN AND MENTIONS OF GORE IN SANEMI AND LIGHT NSFW IN GYOMEI)

<- Part 1

Imagine being dangerously in love.

Imagine being a demon, obsessed with the brash, and blood thirst Wind Hashira. the first time ever being in battle with him is what leads you down a path of want and lust for the cruel hashira.

Imagine going out of your way to always be where he is, always catching his attention and being attacked by him. He believes you're mocking him, following him just to show off that he hasn't been able to kill you. But that isn't true at all. When you fight, you never actively try and gut him, only blocking your neck and leaving the rest of your limbs exposed to be lashed in this masochism tango.

Imagine struggling to hide your enjoyment and ecstacy each time his sword ripped, teard, and scar your body. He had to have known how me made you feel. He must. The darkness of your cheeks must've been a giveaway. Right? His eyes bewitching you in how intense he glares into your soul. It sets a fire under your cold skin, a burning desire.

Imagine one time when you and Sanemi are fighting. Other slayers show up. But they don't instantly jump into the fight. 1. from looking at the fight, you hadn't landed a single strike and seemed to be a greater deal slower than the hashira, and 2. Tanjiro made an odd comment. "Huh, it's like she's avoiding striking him on purpose."

Imagine how Shinobu decided the fight was long enough and tried to sneak in and end the fight. Only for a switch to set off and catch her off guard and spin at the speed of light, leaving a large gash across her body from her left founder to her hip. And Sanemi instantly tried to help her. Only to be stopped by your own weapon pressed so close to his neck that even swallowing made his Adamsapple scrape against a sharp blade. "Don't you dare. Your attention is meant for me. Are you seriously letting her attempt to get between us work?" And that made Sanemi pause... "us? Wha-" -- "don't play dumb darling. We're soulmates, Sanemi~" you whisper to him. "What the fuck."

Imagine how now you make him feel so conflicted, how he hates you for what you are but loves you for how you make him feel... in his home in his spare time as the sun rises, his windows covered and locked tight as he has you on your knees, leaning forward and his chest pressed to your back. Your head locked between his bicep as his other hand held his sword under you. It nicks you each time he thrusts. If he pushed you forward anymore, his blade would surely cut your chest and stomach open. "I HATE YOU, YOU FILTHY DEMON. I DONT WANT YOU. CURSE YOU FOR DEMONIC TEMPTATION." You softy cry at the harsh words from your love, "I don't care if you don't want me... I'm yours right now..."

Sanemi Shinazugawa × Demon reader Trope: Yandere Lovesick/I hate you so much I love you.

Imagine being with Muzan his entire life... your family were servants to his family. And from a young age, you were assigned to be Muzans personal maid or companion as you were too young to really do any work than cleaning up his room. But since you can remember, you've always been with Muzan.

Imagine being the one he confides with most. His fears, his wishes, and despite his coldness. His shouldering eyes seemed to be less scorching when it came to you. His one and only friend. Even if you didn't have much of a choice in the companionship. It was you who sat in on his doctor's visits about his deteriorating health. When he got the news of how it would be a miracle for him to even make it to his mid 20s...

Imagine how one night after a particularly scary coughing fit, he simply places his head to your mid section as you blush his hair and pull it back into a braid. He softy thanks you as he tilts his head to look up at you, "Of course, I'm always happy to take care of you." But that isn't want he wants. He wanted to take care of you. Not you to him. And without thinking, he pulls you down to him.

Imagine His heat is pounding in his chest. You lay across him as his long and slim fingers tease you between your legs. You try and stay quiet, your face twisted with pleasure and guilt. You felt like you were taking advantage of the sick man who would never find love or feel the love of another in such a romantic and intimate way. You thought maybe that this was him just grasping for a moment where he didn't feel so useless being bedridden. But it was so much more. If this was the last thing he did, pleasing the only one who he cared for most. The one he wished he could've married... he would be happy to die. This surely isn't good for his heart, but he couldn't care less. You hovering yourself above him. As he tried weakly to pull you in to rest your whole weight. This was how he wanted to spend his last days, weeks, and months. However long he had left. He wanted it to be with you.

Imagine as days go by, and he feels more and more guilty. He starts to feel as though you let him do these things because you feel obligated as his personal maid to do so. Nights in the dark ask he fingers you, giving and receiving oral pleasure. But you still won't give him everything. You refuse to fully lay with him. Sometimes, he feels like it's because you don't really love him. Not like he does you. Or maybe you find him... pathetic... he can't actually make love to you. You'd be doing all the work. He doesn't want that, and it seems you don't either... eventually, his thoughts become too much, and he decides to let you go...

Imagine you were relieved of all your maid duties, not just to Muzan but to the family as a whole. You were heartbroken. And the heartbreak only worsened at the news of Muzan and his families and your families deaths. You'd cried more times than you'd ever had before in your life. And you were so very confused when you'd found a Man who looked exactly like Muzan sitting in your bed a few nights later. "Hello dear. I'm home." He invented to truly give you what you wanted, and he was eager to give it too you.

Muzan Kibutsuji × reader Trope: Unrequited/reunited love/soulmates

Imagine being Master Kagaya's faithful slayer, you'd always admired him. You and your Master had created a strong bond. Stronger than others. Moments like this reminded you that you were special. You sat on your knees as you just like you had the first time. Your head pressed to his chest and he dragged his fingers over your head.

Imagine trying not to tear up as you remember the first time you'd kneeled for him. You'd been reckless and impatient leading to a fellow slayer getting extremely hurt. You kneeled before him as you sat in the room alone waiting for him to speak. Doing your best to not make any noise as you silently cry. You'd failed him. Your beloved Master. But he didn't yell. He didn't make you feel like you were a problem. He merely hummed before knealing with you, one hand on atop your head and the other cupping your cheek feeling the wet stream of tears and wiped it away. "It's alright. You didn't mean for this to happen. I know you didn't. I know you're a good girl." And your breath hitched. He noticed. And from then on he gave you positive affrimations which encouraged you to do better. For him.

Imagine how as you sat there listening to his words letting yourself flow away and melt into your master. He thought it was innocent. He was simply your master helping you, if it wasn't him maybe you'd find these soft words from Gyomei or maybe even Kyojuro... but he was wrong. So wrong. It was him. Only him. You'd put yourself on the line so much more than you should've. All to hear those soft praises. His wife must not like you... you do take up more and more of his time as days go on...

Imagine how he softly calls to you. Late that night, he'd heard your footsteps. He sat with you talking. About anything that day. Soft and short conversations. Quiet but not uncomfortable. "You're my favorite you know." He sighed, before he let out a small chuckle "don't tell the others." You know he was teasing. But your heart told you other wise.

Imagine being hurt. In battle you were hurt. But even in your pain you still made your way to your master... your beautiful Kagaya... the married man, the family man, that you had fallen in love with. "My dear, you still come and see me while you're in such pain?" He seemed shocked. But you aren't sure why, you'd walk on hot coles and crawled on your hands and belly to kneel for him. You'd do anything for your master. And you could only hope as his favorite... you wouldn't let him down. Finally you lifted your head from his chest, pulling his hands from your hands, leaving a kiss to his knuckles. One day. One day you'll have him.

Kagaya Ubuyashiki × Slayer reader Trope: unrequited love/lovesick/slow burn

Special Part two of Forbidden love with Gyomei × demon

Imagine how the rest of the slayers flock around Gyomei, asking him so many questions. And he couldn't even answer them all. Too consumed by his disbelief that the person he'd fallen in love with so deeply, had turned out to be a demon.

Imagine how he layed in bed lonely and... missing you. He began to long of your cold touch, your voice, your laugh that was so contagious to him. He missed you. He'd fallen for you. Demon or not. He laid in his bed trying and failing to get even a wink of sleep. But just as he had almost fallen asleep he was awoken by a sound. 'Tap tap' was the sound, 'tap tap' on his window. "Gyomei... my love..."

Imagine how he practically leaped from his bed. Demon or not you had carved yourself a spot in his heart. Slamming open the window and pulling you inside, his hands instantly feeling over your cheeks, your nose, your neck. Kissing the knuckles of your cold hands.

Imagine being the one that made Gyomei for a moment stay from his faiths. Gyomei devoted his life to his beliefs, that includes waiting. Waited all his life for the one. Saving himself and waiting. But you both were in a unique circumstances... so from that point on Gyomei promised himself to you. You would stay with him in his home and he would always come back to you. That night he would kiss you, love you, lay you under him while he whispered for you to be his.