#stop being dumb and dangerous
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I rant a lot about holsters, mostly for open carry because if you are running a CCW no one but you should know.
I'm in a burger joint yesterday and this lady walks in with a fanny pack on her hip, with what looked like a Bursa Firestorm 380 in one of those cheap nylon holsters with the Velcro retention strop, attached to the outside of the fanny pack flopping around like a key fob next to her pepper spray.
I looked at that mess, I looked at her, I looked back at the whole mess from two steps further back and though...Humm... Is she going to be surprised when all of that mess is stolen and used against her? I think yes.
I fully support OC, if you are going to do it USE A RETENTION HOLSTER that is attached solidly or just don't. Please.
#don't make shit worse for yourself#stop being dumb and dangerous#you are your own first responder#act accordingly
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Transandrophobia truthers are so damn racist and white oh my fucking god y'all actually piss me the fuck off every time you tokenize Black and brown men for your stupid as fuck "mra but make it trans-inclusive" ideology created by a creepy guy with a corrective rape fetish(something I'll never let up on for as long as I live, btw). If I ever see another one of y'all say "Black and brown men face discrimination because they're seen as overly masculine and that's why masculinity in men is oppressed in this society" I will literally kill myself. Stop using Black and brown men as brownie points for your bullshit arguments about misandry being real when you don't have the slightest idea how racialized oppression works. White boys are so annoying and dumb istfg.
@punkeropercyjackson @punknicodiangelo @pinkpinkstarlet
#like none of the dumbasses i've seen say this shit have been poc and HEY IT'S ALMOST LIKE THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT#because actual black and brown men know that their oppression is not based around masculinity but around RACISM#because if it was about masculinity then feminine men of color wouldn't face the same oppression and would be privileged over them which#is not true#it's also worth mentioning that black and brown WOMEN also face these same issues of being seen as more aggressive/strong/violent and thus#more dangerous even more so than our male counterparts so it's not an 'anti-masculinity' issue it's a fucking racism issue#plus once again feminine women of color also face these stereotypes#when we are masculinized even while presenting as feminine that isn't anti-masculinity you dumb fucks that's just racialized misogyny#and misogynoir#it is incredibly telling that white transmascs who use this argument never even mention women of color and that's because if they did then#their entire headass argument would fall apart because it's not about MASCULINITY being oppressed it's about RACISM(which newsflash women#experience too) and masculinity being assumed of black and brown people(women included) is just another facet of the white supremacist#gender binary not any form of masculinity being 'oppressed' in this society lol#don't even get me started on how these men misuse butch lesbians in their arguments as well and act like they are man-lite ugh#sorry but as a black woman i am officially pissed off rbn#like y'all love to spout 'intersectionality' and shit maybe *throws book at them* ACTUALLY READ UP AND LEARN WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS#stop misusing words created by black women to prove that men are an oppressed group on god you mfers are annoying#anyway the lesson learned here is that white trans men are just as insipid and racist as their cis counterparts#pos the lot of you#racism#transandrophobia is not real#op
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what if i wrote a twisters au……….
#storm chaser eddie diaz loses his wife trying to capture tornado data realises it’s too dangerous now that he’s a single parent#packs up his life and son and moves from north texas tornado country to LA takes a desk job#one of his old buddies calls him up tells him they’ve got new tech and can really study tornadoes now#but. they need someone who Knows storm chasing to do it#it could change everything it could keep people safe he just has to get them the data. one week.#enter: hotshot cowboy scientist tornado wrangler evan buckley#with his stupid hat and stupid sunshine smile and stupid heart of gold under all that nonsense#is he taking risks for the hell of it. putting himself in danger for internet clout and attention#or if eddie looks a little closer is that all going to fall away. someone smart and silly and only wanting to help#because buck and his friends are there Before During and most importantly After every disaster. making sure everyone’s taken care of#and maybe with him in eddie’s corner eddie can figure it out this time#can make it so he doesn’t always have to worry about his family being in danger of natural disaster#and maybe he can keep buck with his dumb jokes and giant heart and boneheaded bravery#ok sorry i’ve seen twisters three times in the last week i cant stop thinking about it#will maybe scribble some of this down when i have a minute#n
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doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely
#i also have thought about how i was cared for today#i go to a free place that has rotating doctors so i didnt see the same one that told me to get a ultrasound of my ovaries + blood test#previous one was a cis woman and she insisted me having multiple cysts on my ovary (that was double in size to the other one) wasnt enough#(for a pcos diagnosis) so she insisted i redo my blood test on the 2nd day of my period#which i didnt realise at the time is dumb as hell cause my periods are so chaotic im not even sure when they start and when they stop#the doc i saw today was a trans doctor (using iel in french! love to see it) and after i explained my situation was like#well theres no point to check your hormones here since we dont have a point of reference#and your ultrasound shows you have multiple cysts in your ovary so thats pcos#then explained to me what that does to your body & all that its not dangerous per say but its good to monitor and take hormones to help#and i said i was already considering the implant to stop my periods and they said that can be arranged today#told me the other alternatives and the risks associated with the implant but tbh my choice was already made#i mean of course idk how much cisness and transness has anything to do with this#but i had seen another cis doctor about my periods being whack when they started being whack#and he did an ultrasound saw nothing and was like “well nothing wrong with you” and that was the end of it#i definitely felt more comfortable and better cared for in the hands of a peer#(also i had to try three pharmacy to get the implant cause the other ones were out of it#walked way more today than planned but good day regardless!)
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stuck in the what-if spiral 😭
#my brain convincing me that my what ifs are real bc of my vivid imagination... like imagining it makes it feel real#and adhd causes memory issues so I'm just. comparing it to other imaginary scenarios and/or real memories#to try and prove that my dumb spiraling isn't real or anything but to my brain I'm so scared that it almost makes it real l#literally mentally traumatizing myself because my brain won't let go of this anxiety that I've rolled my eyes at for years#like!! help!!! I'm fixating!! I've never fixated like this before but I've also never thought of A Scenario before#which is why I'm convincing myself it's real even though the logical part of me is like ????? no???????#the problem is that my anxiety brain convinces me that the logical part is just denial#which is why what-if anxieties are so dangerous for me#especially in the summer#bc then I can't think about ANYTHING else and I rationalize way too much#my mom is like ''are your worries (which I've described to her in vague terms) true? and if they're not stop worrying''#and I'm like BUT THE WHAT IF IS WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S TRUE!!!!!#there is no way to move beyond this that I can see it's all consuming#how can I be so totally fine for part of the day and then become non-functional with anxiety like this so quickly#and then pivot back to being totally fine later??? what's wrong with me?? why does everything feel Worse and more important this time???
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Me: I’ll watch one episode of my hero after dinner that’ll be fun :)
Me three episodes later, having gone from crying earlier to just pure distress by the end: Well that was the worst choice ever
#my bf and I are watching ‘together’ by setting weekly episode goals and this week’s goal is three so I’m maxed out#I figured I’d watch one a day after school then it would be close to when he can watch them…#whoops#MHA s6 spoilers in the rest of my tags here:#WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO TWICE????? bro I forgot I liked him and then I was just sobbing when he died oh my word#and then almost hawks too I was like noooo I can’t take this#I’m glad tokoyami got a hero moment but also the kids being in danger causes me distress#uhhh laser guy that mic left with shigaraki was#was dumb as hell#like what was that dude#mirko SAID that he’d wake up with ELECTRICITY and you LEFT HIM IN A PUDDLE NEXT TO SPARKING WIRES?????#dumb bitch deserved to die but the rest of the people around the hospital that didn’t outrun the new power up didn’t!!#I thought they were going to kill mic then he got grabbed but then I thought they were gonna kill Aizawa and I was like NO#NOT HIM TOO YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME#but he’s okie for now#shigaraki’s power up is absurd#my live reaction to the spreading crumbling at first was like Gasp then Oh no characters I care about them Oh wow this is crazy#It’s gotten the whole building! then Okay- okay- woah there- alright now stop that. stop that this is ridiculous. knock that off#like there’s powerscaling the villain to be a bigger threat and there’s absurdity this was absurd#alright thanks for reading my review since I can’t talk to my bf about it till he catches up and I needed to say this somewhere
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parents who immediately pull out their phone to film their kids when their kid is witnessing something 'paranormal' instead of comforting them should b banned from social media until they learn how to act right I just saw a video of a mother whose daughter was like. there's someone behind that door. and she goes. yea creepy things have been happening in the house leading us to believe someone is squatting in our home. meanwhile the tiny little girl is terrified of what could possibly be a fully grown REAL person standing at the other side of the door freaking out her kid and this dumb cunt of a mother is filming her like oooOoooOoooh we have a ghost r u scared is this what's scaring u and she OPENS the door while the little girl is standing right in front of it like ???? the fjck u gonna do if there really IS an intruder in your house you're not protecting ur daughter and that's literally ur only job as a parent in this moment
#when ppl assume some shit is paranormal instead of actually thinking oh this might be an absolute freak of a human being#and u could acc be in danger#im just#use ur brain or it will rot#and if it was staged stop fuckin using ur children as props in ur dumb shit videos for clout ur terrible parents#and i mean that
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the irony in * talking shit now because a certain someone decided to save their unemployed ass .
#talking about lack of respect??? maybe stop being slow on the racing line and putting others in danger for a start.#i really need to stop reading interviews because the dumb shit they say in there. can't trust anyone#will probably delete lol#elie.txt
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STOP SAYING YOU OR SOMEONE IS AN UNDERDEVELOPED IDIOT CHILD FROM THE AGE 18 TO 24 YOU ARE AN ADULT, YOU ARE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL IN YOUR EMOTIONS OR MATURITY OR WAY OF DOING STUFF YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE THAT AGE FFS
#forget girl dinner or boy math there's 23 yo dinner and 19 yo sadness#and as much as I KNOW that being a young adult is for some people harder than being a teen u are not a child#ur not dumb you're not more in danger than others your brain is not underdeveloped you are not only allowed to talk to people born ur#year of birth only you can date each others you can date a 77 yo. if ur a cretin at 19 you will probably still be at 30 there are no rules#if u have a path it doesnt mean everyone is sharing it.#you are grown ups. young but grown ups and stop saying ur age every 2 seconds for the love of god we got it
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😈 Who is naughtier? Either in the bedroom or by breaking the law, etc.
🍋 Who is more likely to be in a sour mood on a bad day? (Bonus: how does the other one handle that?)
For Amon and Hya bc I am so normal about them fufhfhhfhfh
fjdjdjrjr pls i need someone else to share my insane obsession with them 😭
😈 Who is naughtier? Either in the bedroom or by breaking the law, etc.
AMON.
amon amon amon amon AMON. in both senses. MY GOD. firstly he’s already in a gang, and while the laws in galère are questionable AT best amon disregards them whenever it suits them. he knows the law so he can play the law yknow lol. he’s also killed several dozen people if not more than that by the time he meets hya (idk how many id have to really delve into his backstory to figure that out but it’s probably at least 20) so like. law who? don’t know her.
when it comes to the bedroom amon is pff. the only one with experience between the two of them first off and secondly he’s already into some pretty wild shit. he can pretty much be convinced to do a lot of things in the heat of the moment and he’s probably been in more dangerous sexual situations than he should be in. i’ll rant about some of his unusual kinks or things he’s dabbled in in the tags lol but like the tl;dr amon letting hya tie him up is Mad Tame for him dbdjdjd
🍋 Who’s more likely to be in a sour mood on a bad day? (Bonus: how does the other one handle that?)
while the two of them are prone to irritability tbh unsurprisingly it’s hya mainly bc his foul moods linger lmao. once amon lets off some steam he’ll be over whatever pissed him off but hya can let the smallest things irritate him for days on end if left to his own devices about it fjdjdj. he’ll also get pissed off by other things if he’s already in a bad mood so like let’s say he’s irritated in the morning by one small thing— he’ll stay irritated and it’ll just keep piling up.
amon usually handles hya (better than most) in such a weird way. he’ll keep pushing hya’s buttons until he takes it out on him or tells him what’s wrong hdhedhe. hya isn’t someone who opens himself up to being coddled (it’s a LONG TIME before he lets amon cuddle him voluntarily 😭) so a lot of times he has to be “forced” to get over it or let out his frustrations. best way to do that is to keep pissing him off and become the target of his irritation. most people don’t want to be the object of hya’s wrath but amon finds it both funny and sexy tbh so he has no problem with it. & it usually leads to raunchy sex so like. who’s really winning?
(amon is)
#they’re so dumb i love them#s: paramour#suggestive#<- bc sex talk#also stop reading nOW if you don’t wanna hear about amons weird ass things he’s done#so amon has a danger and adrenaline kink like i said#but he specifically gets really aroused when he fights#when he’s not doing gang shit or at work he does underground fighting a lot a la rdj sherlock holmes lmao#just to blow off steam#he’s been fucked by a good number of his opponents tm#also he is a switch#but more so a bottom / power bottom a lot of the time bc he finds more pleasure and power in being the thing that controls his partner’s#release#tm#he’s also been pissed on and he didn’t hate it#has a huge blood kink#has fucked while injured and or asked his partners to injure him#knife play#the whole shebang#djdjdjdj#i could talk about it more but i should chill
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Sudden thought: did Anders ever undergo his Harrowing or was he escaping enough (7 times but idk how long each one lasted) that he never got Harrowed and just went straight into the Wardens???
#da: 2#dragon age#like....on a technicality if he was Harrowed he could just somehow convince Orisino to give him permission to be out of the Circle#and he won't have to live in fear of the Templars kicking down his door#in a good Kirkwall Elthania would see that even Harrowed mages are being locked inside and made Tranquil and put a stop to Meredith#alas Twas not a decent Kirkwall and she is crooked as well#but then could also claim his permission was given by Irving and forge some papers or whatever they need for proof#would Meredith want to step of Gregoir's toes?? yes because he was looked down upon for being lenient#then the whole Uldred and Blood Mages thing at Kinloch made others see that leniency is not the way to go#instead of...oh idk the horror that was Ostagar and the fact that an Enchanter was a blood mage and was influencing the young to do the#dangerous and the dumb (but powerful) thing#rambles by ki
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we need more queer adults/elderly people being the main characters in tv and movies (especially slice of life) I don’t want to feel like my life is on a time limit before i’m even 20
#constantly panicking about the general fact of time passing and whilst ik it’s dumb I can’t rlly stop doing it lmao#this is supposed to be the ‘best years of my life’ and it’s all downhill from here#well I can safely say i’m having A Bad Time and if it gets worse than this I think i’m screwed#I want to see love stories of queer 50-somethings meeting in like tesco extra and falling in love#I wanna see single middle aged mums going on dangerous and exciting adventures and the lesson being you can have adventures no matter what#instead of the deadline for fantasy adventures being like 17 y/o#I wanna see people in retirement figuring themselves out and being supported by the people around them when they come out#give me an kind old lady who lives in the cottage in the woods being a super powerful witch with her gardener wife who gets her the herbs#I want to be *excited* to grow up again#hoax rambles#no clue what to tag this as
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Pavlovian response (Day 1/8 of 10k followers event)
Werewolf x fem!reader || dub-com, exhibitionism, public sex, knotting
It starts like a joke, but when it starts working… You keep doing it. You’ve been training him for what feels like forever but had only been a couple weeks. Every time you are excited and a bit horny, you ring the bell. With just a tiny ring, he’s ready and leaking, ready to fuck you senseless.
And it’s fun. For both of you.
Until you ring the bell one day by accident, and he gets to you with a raging hard on and mouth salivating already, almost feral. You laugh about it, and he looks at you confused and ready to fuck, but you just chuckle and tell him to calm down. He doesn’t like that, but you keep going through your day. After a while you start to give it a good though, and the more you think about it, the more you want to test it.
So you start doing every once in a while, alternating it with times you actually have sex with him. And it works every single time. You accidentally trained your werewolf husband into one of Pavlov’s dogs, they irony is not lost on you as you chuckle at the thought. Maybe that’s a bit offensive to werewolves, but so funny you can’t stop from giggling every time you ring the bell.
But then it goes south.
You are going to tease him like any other day, but you don’t look at the moon calendar before doing it. Teasing your werewolf husband any day is dangerous, but close to the full moon is almost suicidal. But you are dumb enough to not realize, to do it before thinking twice about it. You ring the bell and go outside, on your way to the pack meeting.
You don’t hear him approach, you don’t feel his heat, you don’t realize he’s behind you until his chest is covering your back and you are being pushed to the ground and he starts grinding his monstrous hard on against the seam of your clothed pussy.
You moan without having time to stop it, and he growls. That shouldn’t make you as wet as it does, but as soon as you hear him you are soaking your panties and wanting to rock back into his dick. You try to break free of him, but you feel his clawed hands against your back, pushing you to the ground as he pushes your ass up. You are in complete submission as he manhandles you until you are panting on the ground and your pants and panties are wet with his precum. He’s leaking so much you can hear it against your clothes.
“We- The pack… The pack-meeting,” you get out as he keeps grinding against your center, making your brain fuzzy and your body thrum with anticipation.
“You think it’s funny?” He growls, his voice so low and dangerous that you had to swallow a whimper. “You think you’d get away with training me into your good pet?” You want to laugh, to cry, you are not sure. But his dick is pressing your clothes against your clit and creating the most amazing friction, driving you so insane.
“I- I’m sorry,” you apologize, your voice breathy and needy, completely messed up after the constant grinding of his dick against your center.
He laughs cruelly, his body cracking behind you. “No, you are not. You love being treated roughly, you love when I fuck you senseless… And now, you are going to get every little bit of that.” You feel him change before you feel his claws prickling at your sides. His body turning so much bigger, so much stronger. You are swallowed by the size of him, so big and feral.
“He- Here?” You ask, trying to focus on the fact that you were outside, close to the pack-meeting point. Closer to all your friends. And you were about to get fucked.
“Yes.” He growls against your ear, his fangs too big to fit his mouth, saliva dripping down your neck as he holds you down and tears your clothes away. Just like that you are naked against the floor and his dick is rubbing against your soaked entrance.
“Somebody could see!” You exclaim, a bit alarmed. He growls against your ear. You groan, his feral nature turning you on more than anything ever could. “They- they are going to see!” You repeat, but he’s too far gone for that. Too far gone to care about anybody seeing you.
“Let them,” he growls. His dick pushes inside of you as you cry out.
He fucks you like a piston, fucking in and out of your pussy like he’s the owner of it, of you. And you can’t stop the ah ah ah you are letting out every time the tip of his dick hits your happy place.
When everyone starts arriving, you want to melt into the ground, but also melt into him. The pleasure is so intense and it’s only heightened by the eyes on you. You are exposed, your pussy being fucked in front of everyone as you groan and moan uncontrollably. He fucks you ferally, no control, no finesse, no caress at all about your well-being, just using you as his full moon toy.
And everyone is watching.
You want to be embarrassed, you want to be mad at him, but in reality you are just hot all over seeing everyone looking at you as you get fucked. Most of them say nothing, some of them are rubbing themselves through their clothes. And you can’t stop the broken groan escaping your mouth at the sight.
You come. Just like that, with everyone watching how much of a slut you are for him. Everyone watching as you get fucked without an inch out of your life. When he starts expanding inside of you, you scream. He growls and bites the back of your neck, making you submit completely to him as his knot fills you. You cry out again, whimpering as he grinds his hips against your pussy. Someone laughs at your pathetic attempt of moving, and your face is hot with embarrassment.
He fills you to the brim, and by the time his dick deflates, there’s an orgy going around you, some jerking off, some fucking, everyone is in some kind of nakedness. He pulls out and howls, enticing a bunch of responses from the rest of the pack. He looks at your abused pussy, leaking and stretched and licks you clean with his long and raspy tongue, so inhuman in his transformed form. You groan and come again, crying out as everyone around you cheers.
He picks you up and walks away. “Never thought she was such a slut…” Someone says as your werewolf husband carries you away, his tail wiggling behind him as he takes you to his den, to your house, to keep fucking you until he’s satisfied.
#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#monster x human#teratophillia#monster x reader#terato#monster boyfriend#werewolf#werewolf x human#werewolf x reader#werewolf x you#werewolf smut#monster love#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monster x you#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft
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Beyond the physical though just experiencing and touching anything knew he's always a bit nervous.
Grass kinda freaked him out at first when he followed Kaze down from the rocky area where he'd found him.
Looked weird, smelled weird felt even weirder. Only after seeing Kaze walk through it (deeming it not dangerous) did he dare try but kinda did so with sort of odd hop not sure what to think of it. kind of soft but also prickly. Constantly moving and shifting beneath his feet, not like the flat smooth surface he was used to.
Still after sometime he did relax and come to quite enjoy the feel of grass.
Was def not a fan the first time trying heated food- why is it hot? why does the food hurt his mouth? food also has strange texture do not like.
Tim also 100% stuck is hand into flames / at least just over them, because so pretty and warm. Was probably warned not to do it but did it anyway (look sometimes you gotta learn the hard way)
only reason he wasn't burned or at least no scars were left was because he does at least have enough brains to 'stop doing thing when thing starts to hurt' so likely would only be a bad first maybe minor second degree that if he was a normal person might leave a slight mark but would also fade / not last but for him was quickly and easily healed up with no sign of injury.
Lad has a lot of 'firsts' ahead of him that while I'm not saying something needs to be written about each one at the same time it is something I'd love to explore more in areas
Getting him new clothes, experiencing a proper bath (and brush of his hair tbh chances are he's got a few mats in there)
Just anything really tbh
#I've kinda jumped around time a little bit just to help give more to offer with interactions but like if you ever want to do something that#takes place at an earlier point in time just list it as 'early days' or 'new arrival' Tim for any starter/ask whatever directed at that#(and even at his current point there is still a lot tim hasn't experienced as well )#ffu verse#lab!life tim#also yes nervous anxious bean that he even he isn't immune to being a dumb ass via curiosity#one can try and stop him but sometimes it's probably easier to let curiosity kill the cat so it can come back#like as long as it's not something extremely dangerous (even for him) its okay to let him learn the hard way and just experience whatever#-for himself#lad's gotta live n learn
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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.
“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”
God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.
Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.
“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”
“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”
“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”
Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.
“What happened?!”
“My word, master Danny!”
“What is it?!”
“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”
Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.
“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”
“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.
“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.
“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”
The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.
“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”
“Danny.”
“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.
“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.
Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.
“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”
Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…
“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”
“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.
“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”
The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.
“Done.”
“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”
“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”
“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”
“Very well.”
“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.
——
“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”
“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.
“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”
“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”
Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.
“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”
“Tt.”
“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”
#danny phantom#danny phantom is a little shit#dc x dp#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#bamf danny phantom#nightwing#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#Alfred is ninja#Damian is attached#damian wayne#bruce to the GIW: I don’t kill#behind him: a contingent of his pissed off kids#bruce: but they do#danny dropping trauma and lore in one go: lol#Damian’s way of bonding with people is stabbing#Danny’s used to ghostly violence as a way of being a friendly hello#he sees no issues with being stabbed#everyone else not so much
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More Ideas for KNY (demon slayer) different characters ♡ (SOME NSFW CONTENT FOR SANEMI AND MUZAN AND MENTIONS OF GORE IN SANEMI AND LIGHT NSFW IN GYOMEI)
<- Part 1
Imagine being dangerously in love.
Imagine being a demon, obsessed with the brash, and blood thirst Wind Hashira. the first time ever being in battle with him is what leads you down a path of want and lust for the cruel hashira.
Imagine going out of your way to always be where he is, always catching his attention and being attacked by him. He believes you're mocking him, following him just to show off that he hasn't been able to kill you. But that isn't true at all. When you fight, you never actively try and gut him, only blocking your neck and leaving the rest of your limbs exposed to be lashed in this masochism tango.
Imagine struggling to hide your enjoyment and ecstacy each time his sword ripped, teard, and scar your body. He had to have known how me made you feel. He must. The darkness of your cheeks must've been a giveaway. Right? His eyes bewitching you in how intense he glares into your soul. It sets a fire under your cold skin, a burning desire.
Imagine one time when you and Sanemi are fighting. Other slayers show up. But they don't instantly jump into the fight. 1. from looking at the fight, you hadn't landed a single strike and seemed to be a greater deal slower than the hashira, and 2. Tanjiro made an odd comment. "Huh, it's like she's avoiding striking him on purpose."
Imagine how Shinobu decided the fight was long enough and tried to sneak in and end the fight. Only for a switch to set off and catch her off guard and spin at the speed of light, leaving a large gash across her body from her left founder to her hip. And Sanemi instantly tried to help her. Only to be stopped by your own weapon pressed so close to his neck that even swallowing made his Adamsapple scrape against a sharp blade. "Don't you dare. Your attention is meant for me. Are you seriously letting her attempt to get between us work?" And that made Sanemi pause... "us? Wha-" -- "don't play dumb darling. We're soulmates, Sanemi~" you whisper to him. "What the fuck."
Imagine how now you make him feel so conflicted, how he hates you for what you are but loves you for how you make him feel... in his home in his spare time as the sun rises, his windows covered and locked tight as he has you on your knees, leaning forward and his chest pressed to your back. Your head locked between his bicep as his other hand held his sword under you. It nicks you each time he thrusts. If he pushed you forward anymore, his blade would surely cut your chest and stomach open. "I HATE YOU, YOU FILTHY DEMON. I DONT WANT YOU. CURSE YOU FOR DEMONIC TEMPTATION." You softy cry at the harsh words from your love, "I don't care if you don't want me... I'm yours right now..."
Sanemi Shinazugawa × Demon reader Trope: Yandere Lovesick/I hate you so much I love you.
Imagine being with Muzan his entire life... your family were servants to his family. And from a young age, you were assigned to be Muzans personal maid or companion as you were too young to really do any work than cleaning up his room. But since you can remember, you've always been with Muzan.
Imagine being the one he confides with most. His fears, his wishes, and despite his coldness. His shouldering eyes seemed to be less scorching when it came to you. His one and only friend. Even if you didn't have much of a choice in the companionship. It was you who sat in on his doctor's visits about his deteriorating health. When he got the news of how it would be a miracle for him to even make it to his mid 20s...
Imagine how one night after a particularly scary coughing fit, he simply places his head to your mid section as you blush his hair and pull it back into a braid. He softy thanks you as he tilts his head to look up at you, "Of course, I'm always happy to take care of you." But that isn't want he wants. He wanted to take care of you. Not you to him. And without thinking, he pulls you down to him.
Imagine His heat is pounding in his chest. You lay across him as his long and slim fingers tease you between your legs. You try and stay quiet, your face twisted with pleasure and guilt. You felt like you were taking advantage of the sick man who would never find love or feel the love of another in such a romantic and intimate way. You thought maybe that this was him just grasping for a moment where he didn't feel so useless being bedridden. But it was so much more. If this was the last thing he did, pleasing the only one who he cared for most. The one he wished he could've married... he would be happy to die. This surely isn't good for his heart, but he couldn't care less. You hovering yourself above him. As he tried weakly to pull you in to rest your whole weight. This was how he wanted to spend his last days, weeks, and months. However long he had left. He wanted it to be with you.
Imagine as days go by, and he feels more and more guilty. He starts to feel as though you let him do these things because you feel obligated as his personal maid to do so. Nights in the dark ask he fingers you, giving and receiving oral pleasure. But you still won't give him everything. You refuse to fully lay with him. Sometimes, he feels like it's because you don't really love him. Not like he does you. Or maybe you find him... pathetic... he can't actually make love to you. You'd be doing all the work. He doesn't want that, and it seems you don't either... eventually, his thoughts become too much, and he decides to let you go...
Imagine you were relieved of all your maid duties, not just to Muzan but to the family as a whole. You were heartbroken. And the heartbreak only worsened at the news of Muzan and his families and your families deaths. You'd cried more times than you'd ever had before in your life. And you were so very confused when you'd found a Man who looked exactly like Muzan sitting in your bed a few nights later. "Hello dear. I'm home." He invented to truly give you what you wanted, and he was eager to give it too you.
Muzan Kibutsuji × reader Trope: Unrequited/reunited love/soulmates
Imagine being Master Kagaya's faithful slayer, you'd always admired him. You and your Master had created a strong bond. Stronger than others. Moments like this reminded you that you were special. You sat on your knees as you just like you had the first time. Your head pressed to his chest and he dragged his fingers over your head.
Imagine trying not to tear up as you remember the first time you'd kneeled for him. You'd been reckless and impatient leading to a fellow slayer getting extremely hurt. You kneeled before him as you sat in the room alone waiting for him to speak. Doing your best to not make any noise as you silently cry. You'd failed him. Your beloved Master. But he didn't yell. He didn't make you feel like you were a problem. He merely hummed before knealing with you, one hand on atop your head and the other cupping your cheek feeling the wet stream of tears and wiped it away. "It's alright. You didn't mean for this to happen. I know you didn't. I know you're a good girl." And your breath hitched. He noticed. And from then on he gave you positive affrimations which encouraged you to do better. For him.
Imagine how as you sat there listening to his words letting yourself flow away and melt into your master. He thought it was innocent. He was simply your master helping you, if it wasn't him maybe you'd find these soft words from Gyomei or maybe even Kyojuro... but he was wrong. So wrong. It was him. Only him. You'd put yourself on the line so much more than you should've. All to hear those soft praises. His wife must not like you... you do take up more and more of his time as days go on...
Imagine how he softly calls to you. Late that night, he'd heard your footsteps. He sat with you talking. About anything that day. Soft and short conversations. Quiet but not uncomfortable. "You're my favorite you know." He sighed, before he let out a small chuckle "don't tell the others." You know he was teasing. But your heart told you other wise.
Imagine being hurt. In battle you were hurt. But even in your pain you still made your way to your master... your beautiful Kagaya... the married man, the family man, that you had fallen in love with. "My dear, you still come and see me while you're in such pain?" He seemed shocked. But you aren't sure why, you'd walk on hot coles and crawled on your hands and belly to kneel for him. You'd do anything for your master. And you could only hope as his favorite... you wouldn't let him down. Finally you lifted your head from his chest, pulling his hands from your hands, leaving a kiss to his knuckles. One day. One day you'll have him.
Kagaya Ubuyashiki × Slayer reader Trope: unrequited love/lovesick/slow burn
Special Part two of Forbidden love with Gyomei × demon
Imagine how the rest of the slayers flock around Gyomei, asking him so many questions. And he couldn't even answer them all. Too consumed by his disbelief that the person he'd fallen in love with so deeply, had turned out to be a demon.
Imagine how he layed in bed lonely and... missing you. He began to long of your cold touch, your voice, your laugh that was so contagious to him. He missed you. He'd fallen for you. Demon or not. He laid in his bed trying and failing to get even a wink of sleep. But just as he had almost fallen asleep he was awoken by a sound. 'Tap tap' was the sound, 'tap tap' on his window. "Gyomei... my love..."
Imagine how he practically leaped from his bed. Demon or not you had carved yourself a spot in his heart. Slamming open the window and pulling you inside, his hands instantly feeling over your cheeks, your nose, your neck. Kissing the knuckles of your cold hands.
Imagine being the one that made Gyomei for a moment stay from his faiths. Gyomei devoted his life to his beliefs, that includes waiting. Waited all his life for the one. Saving himself and waiting. But you both were in a unique circumstances... so from that point on Gyomei promised himself to you. You would stay with him in his home and he would always come back to you. That night he would kiss you, love you, lay you under him while he whispered for you to be his.
#kny sanemi#kny muzan#kny kagaya#kny gyomei#kny shinobu#sanemi shinazugawa#muzan kibutsuji#kagaya ubuyashiki#sanemi shinazugawa x reader#sanemi x reader#muzan kibutsuji x reader#muzan x reader#kagaya x reader#kagaya ubuyashiki x reader#gyomei himejima x reader#gyomei x reader#demon reader#slayer reader#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#yandere demon slayer#yandere demon slayer x reader#demon slayer sanemi#demon slayer muzan#demon slayer kagaya#demon slayer gyomei#bride’s demons 👺
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