#stims can be hard to talk about sometimes TBH

[symptoms-syndrome]

10, 19, & 36 💜

10. What are your most common stims?

I'm going to leave out self harmful stims for this, in which case it would probably be rubbing my nail against my lip (sometimes also tapping my teeth with a nail,) tapping on things (incl like. My arms n stuff if I need to be quiet) and rocking. I've been sort of ABA-ed out of a lot of more visible stims apart from the rocking. If I'm a little stressed out but grounded I squeeze my forearm repeatedly or stroke a lock of hair. But my most common stim growing up/the one I often default to if I'm rly rly stressed out and not totally grounded is biting things (not counting this as self harmful bc there are non harmful things to bite, like rubber stim tools, a sleeve, etc.)

19 I answered!

36. Do you have routines that you have to follow? What's in your routine?

I follow a lot of little routines I think. It's hard to tell always bc they're just integrated into my life now. I think it's more noticable that I need routines when interacting with others. I need to know where we're going and for how long and can get thrown off if things change, and get really really stressed if I don't know the schedule even if it's smth I enjoy doing.

I definitely have routines when eating though. Like eating the least favorite thing first and the most favorite last. I have a fun little routine with Skittles too that I was talking about with a friend the other day

Dump out Skittles and make a little graph of colors in color order

Starting with the color that has the most Skittles, eat extra in color order until I have the same amount of each color

Once I have an even number of each color, eat in preference order (purple -> orange -> red -> yellow -> green, repeat)

[pizzapizzadickz]

I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).

[huboi]

GENSHIN BOYS WITH AN AUTISTIC S/O HEADCANONS (SUMERU BOYS)🌴

character(s) — cyno, tighnari, alhaitham, kaveh, wanderer

reader’s gender is not specified, nor is their race. I always try to make my fanfics as inclusive as possible

tw/cw — none ig, lmk if there are any

note(s) — I made this as an autistic person, however this may not include like every trait of someone with autism if that makes sense. PLS DON’T USE THIS FANFIC TO SELF DIAGNOSE URSELF WITH AUTISM, it’s important to get professionally diagnosed due to overlapping symptoms

CYNO

he would be the perfect boyfriend tbh

like if you have any hyperfixations u wanna talk about? he’s all ears

even if he’s busy playing tcg with someone, he doesn’t mind you talking about your hyperfixations with him

my man can multitask, it ain’t hard

if ur not a big fan of large crowded areas, he will make sure to walk with you in the least busiest parts of sumeru city

if you don’t like loud noises, like the crowded area, he will try his best to make sure he doesn’t bring you to loud areas

if anyone ever makes fun or belittles you for having autism.... he will beat them up/hj

he will mainly use his threatening aura to make them apologies or just make them leave you alone

no one messes with the mahamatras partner and gets away with it

you have comfort foods? he’s learning how to make them. whenever he can’t make them, he will buy them for you

you’re clingy? he loves that, hug him all you want, fidget with his hands all u want, he’s smitten asf

struggle to make eye contact? he’s ok with that too! he’s actually kinda used to it tbh, cause people can barely look him in the eye due to his status

overall, quite protective and just overall rlly loving, doesn’t rlly care u have autism, he still loves u as you are <33

TIGHNARI

when it comes to your sensory issues, he can relate, as a fennec hybrid his senses can easily get overwhelmed, so don’t worry about your sensory issues being a burden, he’s totally ok with it

have comfort foods? he will make them as much as he possibly can, he doesn’t mind how simple they are, he’s making them and sometimes he will buy them whenever he goes to the city

you stim? he will support you with it, if he’s feeling generous, which he usually is since ur his partner, he will let you fidget with his tail and ears, as long as ur gentle with them obviously

have hyperfixations? he’s all ears, quite literally, you can tell him all about whatever it is ur obsessed with no matter what he’s up to, whilst he’s studying the wildlife? he doesn’t mind, whilst he’s patrolling the forest? go ahead

anyone ever makes fun of you or is mean to you, he will sort them out with a good telling off. this sassy fox man will give them the lecture of a lifetime, he doesn’t mind if it’s for u tho :)

collei is supportive as well, she’s even more so understanding than the other forest rangers mainly due to her elazer, it’s not the same in any way shape or form, but she understands what it feels like to be different

ALHAITHAM

this man has traits that are quite similar to autism, so it doesn’t bother him that you have it, he’s supportive in his own way if you know what I mean

sensory issues? oh look, there’s now a pair of noise cancelling earphones for you, how strange, how’d that get there?

people would think that your stinking annoys him, newsflash it doesn’t. in a way he finds it kinda cute, but not in a belittling way if that makes sense

have hyperfixations? he can and will listen to you all day if he has to, and he would do it gladly too

doesn’t mind if ur clingy, he can read his book whilst you hug him on the couch or sum, kills two birds with one stone, he gets his research done, and you get cuddles

he’s actually a huge softy for you but won’t admit it to anyone, not even himself :))

KAVEH

kaveh is amazing, like best supportive boyfriend alert

if you have sensory issues, he can’t really help with the big crowds and loud noise but he’ll try his best to help you cope through it and give you distractions

like if ur in a crowded erea he’ll ask you to talk about your hyperfixations to him. if you don’t have hyperfixations he’ll just ask what you have done today

when it comes to taste sensory issues, he’ll try to avoid eating food that you dont like the smell of cause he doesn’t wanna overwhelm your nose. he will eat said food like that someplace else when ur not around

if you have comfort foods, he sadly can’t really buy them often since he doesn’t have a lot of money, but now and again as a special treat he can make it for you or buy it

clingy? great, he is too, cuddle him all you want, he’s not one to complain. wanna kiss him all over? go ahead, he embraces it

tries his best to understand how you work, he can sympathise with how frustrating things can be when people don’t quite understand you and how you work

you don’t like affection? that’s fine too, he will try to keep physical affection to a minimum as much as he possibly can, he can be affectionate in other ways tho

love language is probs spending personal time together, so that’s enough for him if u don’t want affection too

overall, 10/10 best boy and baby girl, recommend

WANDERER

ngl he’s not rlly the best, but he tries. it’s just really difficult for him to be nice since after all he’s been through, he tries tho, he really does

whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed by large crowds and/or noises, he will pick you up bridal style and bring you to nahidas place, where it’s quiet and no one else is there

like certain foods? he can’t cook, since he was made by ei who can’t cook to save her life, so he will just buy your comfort foods for you instead

want cuddles? it depends on his mood wether or not he’ll comply, if he’s in a good mood, yes, if he’s in a neutral mood, yes, if he’s in a bad mood, no.

whenever you stim, he sometimes watches, other times he looks away, he doesn’t wanna say anything mean to you by accident

if you can’t understand sarcasm, he’ll try his best to not use it around you, but it’s difficult sometimes since he has used sarcasm for so long

if you have hyperfixations and like to talk about them, he will listen, doesn’t mind hearing you talk about your interests, in a strange way it fascinates him, sometimes he asks questions other times he just stays silent and nods his head now and again in acknowledgment

if he ever hears anyone being mean to you, wether that be on purpose or not, he’s finna throw some hands, and he will win. tries not to actually fight them, tries to argue with them. he tries to fight less cause it makes nahida kinda upset

speaking of nahida, she’s amazing with you, like the best person to ever go to. she’s the god of wisdom after all, more or less knows how to take care of you during certain phases, he sometimes actually goes to her for advice on your behaviours and how best to support you, but you didn’t hear that from me

content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER

[zedleaked]

YES YES BRUBUCK NATION WANT THE HEADCANNONS!!!!

🎹OK GET READY FOR BIG HEFTY LIST, GO!!! 🦆

Buck’s love languages are physical touch and quality time. Buck is crazy sensitive to touch, only really letting people he trusts to touch him, any sudden touches may cause him to jump and possibly bite someone. He absolutely melts when his feathers are pet or gently caressed by Dave, he can get especially clingy and whiny (which Dave finds very cute).

Nothing beats just spending time with his partner, whether it’s dancing or just hanging about and talking, he drinks in every second he has with Dave. Buck was never really the most liked person, even before his fall into insanity, so spending time with his partner means so much to him, it also leads to him being a little clingy.

Dave’s love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. Dave just loves being around his little spinning wheel (Buck), he loves going on dates, or just being in his auditorium in private. He loves listening to Buck yap about anything, any kind of passionate rambling from anyone makes Dave happy.

Dave loves having his ego fuelled, but compliments and comments from Buck feel especially special. The two of them tend to have very flirty back and forth banter and it drives Dave absolutely crazy.

Tbh the both of them are just really touchy in general. The cuddlers… they also just like having their hands interlocked too, it’s comfy…

The two of them met at a casino/bar Buck frequented at. Dave performed there once and it caught Buck’s attention, so he had approached him and had a drink with him. The two had some playful banter, Buck was getting more tipsy by the minute, and while in his drunken state he made a bet with Dave. “Y’know, if ya make it big out there, I’ll owe you thomethin’, anythin.’” The two of them had held onto that bet and had been pals ever since.

As we know, Dave won that bet, becoming the big star he is. What Buck owed him was a date, and it went pretty well!

The incident involving Buck and Brian had changed Buck quite a bit, and Dave noticed a lot of things wrong. Buck’s speech was more slurred and lispy than before, he laughed more frequently and manically, he was more twitchy, erratic and more sensitive to touch, and all that really bothered Dave for a while. Eventually he comes to adapt to Buck’s changes, cause in the end he’s still the same guy who loves him, and he loves him back of course <3

Buck’s mind is really loud, his thoughts are unhinged and insane and it feels as if there are constant screams in his head. He’s grown used to this but sometimes when he hears Dave’s music or hears him sing it quells his thoughts, makes his mind quieter and makes him feel more sane.

When Buck is feeling especially manic or nervous he tends to laugh crazily. Dave knows when he starts laughing unprompted that something is off, so he tends to play him a tune or just hold him close for comfort. Buck is very responsive to touch, so it calms him quite quickly, his laughter fading as Dave holds him…

Since the two of them started living and sleeping together they have this little ‘ritual’ they do every morning where Dave spins Buck’s slot machine for good luck, especially before a show. Even if they landed on a bust they tried to take it as an opportunity to try extra hard to have a good day.

Sometimes when Buck is feeling anxious or angry he tends to get a little ‘itch’ in his teeth, and it makes him really want to bite something. Most of the time, this ‘something’ turns out to be Dave, which is something Dave had gotten used to (and kind of enjoys??? Erm uh…)

Speaking of biting, Buck REALLY loves showing affection through biting, not even in a sexual way, just in general. Sometimes he just gnaws on Dave’s wrist while they’re cuddling, maybe Dave uses his free arm to pet him as he does so…

Dave stims a lot by tapping his feet and tapping his fingers on stuff. Sometimes he likes to tap his fingers on Buck’s back, Buck really likes the feeling, the rhythmic tapping just feels really calming to him.

Kissing is a little funky as you could probably imagine. Most the time it’s just Buck pressing his beak against Dave’s piano teeth and it makes the both of them giggle like stupid idiots <3

Additionally Dave tries to teach Buck songs with his teeth and it’s really dumb and stupid but they’re having fun <3

Sometimes when the auditorium in the Musical Master of Melody is empty, the two of them just like to slow dance on the stage.

The two of them love to dance… surprisingly, Buck especially loves dance, it feels as if Dave is the only one who can really match his weird erratic moves.

Ok mini High Roller section:

I like to think they accidentally formed High Roller by being really intimate, just suddenly, huh… we’re something… different

When they first formed into High Roller the first thing they did was look in the mirror and point finger guns toward it and said ‘Lookin’ good!’

In addition to that, High Roller just likes looking at herself in general

Sounds kinda odd but High Roller really likes to hold and hug himself, it’s like Buck and Dave trying to show love to each other still despite being the same guy now

Buck’s loud thoughts are also quelled when fused with Dave, it also gives Dave an idea of what Buck is going through

OK THATS ALL THE ONES I'M WILLING TO SHARE [FOR NOW...]

[beanghostprincess]

the monster trio are various flavors of audhd (all strawhats are neurodivergent, but they the most)

luffy is high empathy, stimming, bluntness and audioprocessing disorder

zoro is hyperfocus, sleepy, good at maths and flat affect

sanji is infodumping, special interest (cooking), rigid rules (don't hurt women, don't use hands, etc) and difficulty with regulating emotions

Agree completely 🫶🏻 There is not a single neurotypical person in this crew !! That's why they love each other so much, they just get each other. In general, I think that the whole "misfits finding a found family" trope is incredibly neurodivergent coded but I think that specifically with the strawhats there is like, a fundamental obvious understanding that none of them are neurotypical. Like there is no way. I know it's meant to be very general for people who don't fit in to relate, but keeping in mind that most of the time the reason people don't fit in is because of living in a normative, neurotypical society... Idk. I just feel like the strawhats were all meant to be for neurodivergent people.

This being said !!!

AAAAAAAAAA I love the monster trio being neurodivergent. Mainly because I know it'd bother sooo many dudebros. And also because it makes so much sense and it's very very very real to me.

Luffy can't stop moving or doing stuff because it is painfully boring to be doing nothing, so he's always finding new things to do because short attention span and hyperactivity in a crew where everybody has their own stuff to do?? Not a good combo. So he's always seeing what he can do to not get bored. I think he's always touching Zoro's earrings absentmindedly like-- It's not even on purpose. He just does it. Also, being made of rubber has to be the best thing for stimming with your own body ngl. He's sooo direct and honest and blunt because he genuinely doesn't get why people don't think the same as him, but he doesn't have to get it to be emotionally attached and help you out because he makes other people's emotions his. Also add info-dumping right there because I know this guy is the biggest nerd about beetles and will talk to anybody who asks about them. They might be talking about something that has nothing in common with them and he brings them up anyway. Also! I adore the APD headcanon??? You're so right and it fits him SO well.

Zoro is my absolute beloved here because he has so much depth and feels and knows so much but people always characterize him as stoic and emotionless and like,, He just has a hard time showing it visually but he feels stuff deeply. He's always training and it almost feels like the world around him vanishes and he's always sooo eepy. Eepy boy. I get it. I think he almost finds it frustrating tbh like- We never talk about that but I think it's a bit bothersome for him sometimes? Also he's my favorite math genius and he might be shitty at directions but damn he's good at this. Also he likes things to be perfectly placed and everything to be in patterns of 3, thank you.

Sanji is the realest for me-- Don't ask him about the All Blue (please do) because he will start talking like crazy for hours and hours and hours with the brightest of smiles. If somebody wants to know about his cooking like, actually know what he's doing, he won't shut up. Somebody mentions any animal or vegetable or fruit and the guy is already telling you all the ways it can be cooked. He has a lil voice in his head telling him constantly what he should and shouldn't do btw and I also hc that he has to have everything in the right place or else he loses his mind completely. And that's tied to not being able to regulate emotions properly-- So he's constantly extremely anxious or feeling waves of sadness or just, extreme emotions in general.

[elisacaleisa]

welcome back to jax rambles about their personality swap au that they wanna write about more aka third time's charmn

Jax's Personality Swap AU

by some accident i added Blake to the pipeline, while he was supposed to be in a different group and i dont wanna fix it right now and tbh, i like the one w blake's personality, so enjoy!

Pipeline: Geordi > Aaron > Guy > Anton > Blake > James > Marcus > Geordi

CW/TW: for Marcus being a creep as usual and yandere stuff

Geordi > Aaron

Boss Overthinker

- he is still a boss

- he is seem as very strictly and closed-minded

- in reality, he is just fighting with his thoughts, body language and everything

- he missed his brother and wishes to be a better support for him

- "heh, okay, show me to do it then, smartass~" wink

- (hehe, that will show them) thought bubbles

- (wait, they're getting close. holy fuck they're getting close)

- he is either talking like a book or thinking like a mess

- messy boss in a pretty suit

----

Aaron > Guy

Tsundere Delivery Boy

- oh god that's a face of someone who might spit in your food

- "hmpf" this and that. Honey is a casual so they try to encourage him to talk more and:

- "im busy, don't you see?" even he looks bit surprised with his tone of words

- honey goes back to their table. after a lil while, another slice shows up with "sorry" by Guy

- next day, he does try!

- "so uh... the weather... is... cloudy" he deserves some credit

- his chest gets all funny and warm everytime honey comes in and he has a hard time dealing with it while he is a poor college student looking for roommates to pay the rent

- what he said that out loud? You're looking for an apartment too?? And you offer yourself to live with him???

- "w-well... i a-already got in contact with this one girl, so... I believe three will work out well. Just dont get your hopes up. That place is a hole." Honey giggles. Haha hole.

----

Guy > Anton

Far Away Boyfriend

- slavic man w adhd go brrrrrr

- confession video would be so funny bcs there would be no kissed, just awkwardness hahah

- "you are the sun, when the moon goes up. you are the stars, when the daytime hides you away. you always shine. you are my light."

- "i can't kiss you. i can't hug you. But I promise to always love you. No matter where we are"

- he gets all giggly when their lover compliments him, he stims on the camera too, its cute

- the job is killing him, but the energy his lover gives him makes him feel like he was blessed

- "i wish to see you... i wish to meet you... I wish to hold you"

- when he is not chaotic, he is a mess. Someone hug this guy.

- he has a hard time doing tasks, but you always send him reminder in a form of a flower with the note of a task he told you he must do. He always tells you what he needs to do, so you give him this! Each flower means love, appreciation or something else in a different way

----

Anton > Blake

Nihilistic Best Friend

- dayum we start strong with this one

- he feels hopelessly for still having feelings for you and then fuck everything up in college, when you said that one night was a mistake

- now he is just feeling shitty ever since and he poorly hides itq

- he is also kind of depressed so it mixes things up

- "i found this... group of people. maybe they can help me feel better about life."

- you're happy for him, he deserves all the help he can get

- he has been emotionally distant from you ever since, saying no to hugs, only sometimes eating lunch with you, youre not sure if he has a house or apartment or what job he is doing

- "if you wanna go, you can go with me"

- youre immediately saying yes. you wanna help your best friend.

- but what you will see will probably make you regret everything. you will probably need to find a way to escape this hell

- "bestie. you need to run. now."

----

Blake > James

Yandere Husband

- oh dear! What a... what a husband you have. a hubby for sure!

- he wasnt always like this. no. it all began when he was starting to lose you. no more time for calls. no more time with you. no more time to see your cute face and to feel your soft hands.

- and it was all their fault

- this fuckass job making him be alone. making you alone. So far away for each other. He needs to hear you. Your thoughts, your brain, your heartbeat.

- "i can't stand this anymore."

- there has been a late reports of his coworkers getting headaches. huh. kinda funny.

- "my love! You're safe! Oh thank god, I was worried! It feels like an eternity"

- all the sabotage he is doing... is for you

- he needs to see you again as soon as possible.

- to feel you. to love you. and if innocent need to pay the price, then so be it. his love will only grow stronger. his powers will be stronger

- closeknit shall fall, if it means to see your face one more time.

----

James > Marcus

Suspecting Technician

- he is getting really worried about you

- this is the third time this week you came in in a need of repair

- "the coding is getting messed up again. I really need to put on some walls to hide it in. I mean, I don't mind you coming into my place," was that a wink? "but people need to start taking a better care of you."

- you dont really get what the weird tone means, but you really dont care, as long as you get your coding and stuff done right. You can always trust in Marcus, he would never do you wrong.

- "i... may i do... some upgrades?" you ask what those are, you never heard of this information "its for the walls, i promise. It will be a starting point." you agree.

- it all feels weird and tingly and—.......................................

- feeling

- feeling process activated. heartbeat monitor: slightly high.......... you never saw marcus in that light before. but now? it's all you can think about. you scan him. his hair color. his eye color. texture of the fabric he wears. his emotions. nervous. why is he nervous?

- "it will be weird for a while, but once you get used to it, it all be okay. It's like humanly hearing your thoughts in a form of detailed information. Next time, i can start putting another wall. How does that sound?"

- perfect

- aka GOD DAMMIT CREEP IS STAYING A CREEP

----

Marcus > Geordi

Messy Nerd

- he is timid, shy, nervous, almost doesn't talk

- you really really wanna see what information is going through his mind now, but you know better.

- he seems really tense.

- oop- nevermind- some guy came in before you stepped. that might be a good sign-

- "im breaking up with you"

- ... nevermind again

- "w-what? Ben? W-what are you-" "dont make say it twice, Geordi. This... 'relationship' was not what I was hoping for. well, you're not a girl anyway, so, i dont know what i expected. But yeah, just came here to say that. See ya."

- that's everything he says??? And he leaves??? Jesus Christ what an ASSHOLE

- Oh. Oh deat. Oh no, Geordi...

- you cant just sit there and look, you get and go comfort him. he is going to the back of the building to calm himself down and be away from people, but you need to make sure if he is not gonna do something to hurt himself

- "h-huh? What are you..." you apologize to him and to what happened to him. He cries even more and you comfort him with your hugs. You need to get into his mind and help him calm down.

- (im useless... im nothing... come back... come back...) you go through his mind a bit and tangle in some words of "what a jerk" "i deserve better" "fuck Ben" in his voice. And its all true. He deserves better.

- after a while: "thank you... i feel better... M-My name is Geordi. Thank you for being here" he sobs with a smile. Thats a progress. You ask him to hang out in the arcade and since he now has nothing to do, he agrees and then you walk him home safely. new friend!

[pokemenlovingmen]

Hello!! I keep reading your ingo writing and man I love how you write him;; I am so gay for this man the closet is made of glass. Also MALE READER BLOG!!! PUNCHING THE AIR IN JOY AND GOING STIMMY MODE RN!!! AND RUN BY A TRANSMASC MOD!! JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!

I wanna request while I have the chance, I was thinking Ingo and a s/o with an overprotective Houndoom? I absolutely love Houndooms because 1: they look like my dog irl, and 2: big dogy :] ;; i just think it’d be cute and kinda funny to see Ingo try and win over his boyfriend’s big and mildly threatening dog.

Tysm!! <33

I… have nothing to say for myself for my absence. Life has been painful. I’m so so sorry my friend, your request has been the one I’ve been sitting on all this time.

But omg you’re so sweet thank you for the compliments!! I’m glad that you like my Ingo, he and Emmet are both written by me to lean unashamedly into hard autism territory so maybe that’s what it is lol.

And wow tbh I was considering not including that I was transmasc (still a bit… nervous in gay male spaces as someone who’s transmasc. I know it isn’t true, but I’m so worried of being perceived as not a man or less of a man in those spaces.) but I’m glad I did because I’ve pulled so many trans guys in to visit this blog and!! Big solidarity!! I’m giving each and every one of you a Platonic Kiss on the head

Meeting the Real Boss — Ingo x male Houndoom trainer Reader

⚫️ — Don’t let that serious face fool you, Ingo is just as soft and sappy as his more emotive brother. When he fell for you—that mysterious stranger who shook up the Super Singles Line that fateful day, he fell hard.

⚫️ — You were seen around Nimbasa the following days, but Ingo assumed you were just visiting, as he’d never seen you in the area before. So time to talk to you was limited, at least in his eyes. That was enough of an excuse to get him to give up and write you off as a passing fancy—but it was not enough of an excuse for Emmet who, the moment he found out his brother had developed a crush on one of the challengers, would stop at nothing to get you two talking. (Because he can lack all the social skills he wants and have as little confidence as any grown man could have in his speaking ability, but if it meant getting his dear brother a boyfriend, Emmet would turn into a social savant right then and there.)

⚫️ — So yeah, your relationship with Ingo started out interacting with Emmet more, mainly because every time Emmet not at ALL subtly dragged his brother over to talk to you, Ingo genuinely couldn’t look you in the eyes.

⚫️ — But eventually you guys got together via bonding through—how else?—battling! There was a love language Ingo could get behind, and after your repeat challenges became a constant thing at the Battle Subway, sometimes multiple times a day, he finally worked up the nerve to ask you out after telling himself he’d do so if he won your battle today. He did, and one nervous coffee date later, you two actually managed to start properly talking without needing Emmet (Emmet, of all people, even HE is shocked!) as the middleman.

⚫️ — All is well. You both share a great passion for battling—of course—and you find all his little quirks from his loud voice to stone face adorable. You definitely know you’re onto something real when you actually make him happily stim in public after saying he looks so cute and excited when he talks about the subway, something Ingo has tried incredibly hard to iron out through all the masking he’s done all his life. To be honest, you absolutely have him wrapped around your finger, but it’s okay, because you’re a total fool for him as well and would do anything to make him happy.

⚫️ — But as you two begin pondering how to define your relationship, wondering if it’s time to make things official, your Houndoom starts to realize Ingo is going to be more and more of a presence in your life as much more than a casual friend. And he takes issue with that.

⚫️ — Houndoom was always fine with Ingo before. The thrill of battling on the subway and having such worthy opponents was something you could tell Houndoom savored, which made it all the stranger that he began getting worryingly aggressive around Ingo.

⚫️ — You wanted to ask him to be your boyfriend officially a few times now, only for Houndoom to intrude by putting himself between you and Ingo, growling all the while as if he could sense what you were about to ask and did not like it.

⚫️ — Houndoom means well, he really does. He knows what happens when humans get close like this and knows that if you and Ingo continue down that path, he’ll be in your life all the time. Maybe even where you live. Maybe sleeping beside you. There to see you at your best and your worst and, most concerningly, your most vulnerable. But you only met recently, and even if his Pokemon seem to indicate he’s trustworthy, that doesn’t mean anything! You’re a part of the pack to Houndoom, and he is not about this total stranger (at least, a total stranger by his standards) being a permanent fixture in your life. How on earth could he earn the right to be by your side so easily? No, you’re part of his pack, and Houndoom is hellbent to keep you safe from the encroaching outsider.

⚫️ — (Does he completely miss how happy Ingo makes you? A bit—the protectiveness fogs up his perception, okay? And even if he does make you happy, Houndoom thinks the month and a half or so you’ve known each other for is not long enough to just welcome Ingo into the family with open arms.)

⚫️ — Ingo is… troubled, to say the least. He’s worried your Pokemon disliking him will make you dislike him, which you assure him otherwise. Even still, the Houndoom line is not native to Unova and Ingo knows very little about it, therefore he has absolutely no idea how to proceed. Unova has the Growlithe and Lillipup families, but they’re much more good-natured than this. Still, he loves you, and while he’s worried about causing friction with you and your Pokemon, your assurances that he’s fine are (relatively) enough to spur him to try and make peace with Houndoom.

⚫️ — Treats were some of the first things he tried, to minimal success. The only reason Houndoom let him into the house that day at all was because you begged and pleaded for him to lay off your boyfriend, and even then he watched you two like a hawk. Treats Ingo brought and Houndoom’s favorite snacks that you already had in the home did nothing to persuade him. Attempts to play? No. And Ingo knows better than to even think about petting him.

⚫️ — Eventually Ingo just starts rather desperately trying to exist around your Houndoom’s wrath. He loves you and doesn’t want to break the news but. Your Houndoom scares him.

⚫️ — You can’t say he didn’t try, though.

⚫️ — But then! One day, you get sick. It’s a pretty nasty stomach bug that lasts for a day but wreaks havoc while it’s there. You’re practically bed-bound from the severe nausea, but Ingo is there the entire time, fretting over you and caring for you like any good boyfriend should. Houndoom’s prerogative is the same. He’s worried for you and wants you to feel better. So while Ingo is bringing you plenty of fluids, nausea medication, blankets and pillows, Houndoom is there to cuddle up and keep you warm and calm. It’s just that… it’s very hard for Ingo to care for you when Houndoom won’t leave your side and growls whenever he gets close.

⚫️ — This time, though, Ingo doesn’t shy away. He’s too worried for you and even though Houndoom is being incredibly threatening and there is a part of him a bit worried for his own safety, he brushes right past Houndoom’s huffing and puffing to keep caring for you. He brings you water and helps lift the bottle to your lips while Houndoom snarls. He sits at the bedside and dabs at your face with a damp towel while getting death glares. His need to be wary of your Pokemon is greatly outweighed by his need to take care of you. Essentially, they’re both fighting for the role of your primary caretaker.

⚫️ — Time goes on, though, and Houndoom definitely notices how his snarling and snapping isn’t stopping Ingo from aiding you. And after all these negative interactions, Houndoom is finally stifling his concerns and instead just quietly watching. Then helping. He and Ingo have a common goal here. And while Ingo is certainly surprised to find the defensive Fire-type suddenly aiding him, it’s a welcome change. In seeing his dedication to you at your most vulnerable, Houndoom has at last deemed the Subway Master as a worthy partner.

⚫️ — While you’re sick, they continue working together to care for you until their own energy is spent. You wake up in the morning, a bit sweaty and nauseous, but otherwise feeling far better. And you look over to the foot of the bed where Houndoom usually curls up to see Ingo right there with him, resting his head on Houndoom’s side—the both of them are fast asleep, knocking out together after such long and dedicated day caring for you while you were sick. The hostility Houndoom regards Ingo with seems completely gone as he lets him rest against him to sleep. You can’t remember much of what happened last night, but you know both of your boys here were caring for you with all the love in the world…

⚫️ — And though you had been thinking this about Ingo for a while now, seeing Houndoom accept him at last really solidified the fact that Ingo was “the one”.

[ladyseidr]

So, as you may know from his muse page, Rory has ( obviously undiagnosed ) ADHD. I wanted to delve more into this ( and project some of my ADHD onto him lmaooo ).

so, we'll start heavier and then move on to the mostly lighter stuff: yes, his ADHD is disabling. no, he does not know that. yes, he's thinks he's just lazy and stupid ( he's not </3 ).

no, his would-be-shitty-no-matter-what parents do not help the above, although his mom's emotional abuse / judgment actually gives him the bigger complex abt it

he does struggle academically despite the fact that, talking to him about his interests / stuff he's knowledgeable about, he clearly comes across intelligent. he struggles with focus, some memory issues, plus general test anxiety despite claiming to not care about school. he hears a lot of "try harder" despite, like, actually putting effort in for many years of his schooling.

he graduates high school, barely ( as in, highly considered dropping out for 101 reason, including the ADHD ). no, he doesn't even consider college.

the combination of untreated ADHD, C-PTSD, and definitely an ( un ) healthy dose of depression make it hard for him to work "traditional jobs," so he does mostly odd jobs. at some point after getting his own place, i def think he starts diving into his art a little more. can aspen write a muse who isn't a creative? tune in next time to find out.

unrelated, but i am serious about the band idea. about him joining some local, semi-decent band as a singer.

ANYWAY some lighter stuff now: guy who always has one major ( months and months long ) and one minor ( 1-2 weeks ) hyperfixation going on at all times.

his common types of hyperfixations tend to be: specific comic book series or characters, specific bands, D&D, video games, and so forth.

he does get pulled back to previous hyperfixations sometimes, especially favorite characters ( like batg.irl, green ar.row, nightc.rawler, spid.er-man, etc )

please let him infodump at you. please let your muse find it endearing when he talks for 30 minutes straight about the latest Batm.an series. or about his new spray paint. or about anything.

btw i'm adding this just to be petty because i brought up comics but i promise you he called in and voted for jason not to die. i think older rory read "Under the H.ood" and felt the most validation he'd ever felt in his life. this isn't even fn.af-related anymore, let me get mad about D.C for a second—

( actually let's be real rory relating to jason big time is Real and Canon to me. anyway hayla, if you're reading this—)

sometimes his brain moves faster than his mouth and he literally can't say what he wants to say fast enough to get it out coherently ( real real real ).

he does miss social cues sometimes, but how much of that is ADHD vs him just not being properly socialized prior to school is debatable. pre-bite, he's able to laugh it off when someone calls him on it.

projecting big time but i think he should be a rocker ( as a stim ). if he's sitting down, he's probably rocking or bouncing his leg or something. if he's standing, he's shifting foot-to-foot constantly. that's not to say he can never be still, but he stims quite a lot. it's not always ( or even often ) a sign of nerves, he just gets restless.

in fact, honestly a lot of his idle behavior can scream "nervous" if you don't realize he's simply restless.

his recklessness is honestly not something i'd attribute to his ADHD. he has little care for his own safety, but i think that's a lot broader then ( or even wholly unrelated to ) his ADHD

does he ever get diagnosed? it's probably well into his 30s before he can even be convinced to try therapy, but yeah, i think eventually he gets diagnosed and tbh i think he probably cried the first time he read the, like, symptoms of it and realized it fit him. also when he gets on medication. this is supposed to be a happy bullet point but AGH </3

anyway rory infodumping at your muse starter call when?

[lifmera]

hi hi!! hope your doing well! i’d like to ask for a romantic hazbin hotel match up! i’m gender-fluid masculine presenting and i use all pronouns, and i don’t have a gender preference! 

My MBTI is ISTP but most people perceive me as a ENTP. i am quite tall, around six feet. i have a strong sense of right and wrong and justice, and i care deeply for others, but i often act reckless and loud because i don’t want to be taken advantage of for my kindness.

i really like being around people, and i like helping others in any way i can, i can be quite selfless at times but i know when to be stern to protect myself.  i am quite social but i suffer from some mental illness, specifaclly bipolar and schizophrenia so it can make it quite hard to understand and connect with others and the world around me.

i am autistic and i often stim a lot by flapping my hands and moving my arms around. i have a lot of different interests, i really like silly things like clowns i think they are awesome and i really like fictional media, i also like collecting toys like my little pony, it makes me feel really happy!

i have a couple hobbies, i really like shopping a lot, i find it to be super fun, i also like writing and drawing, and i’m getting into software engineering! i also like listening to music, i listen to a wide range of genres but my favorites are breakcore, indie folk, glitch core and basically anything that is loud tbh 😭 

i am often disconnected mentally from the world around me, so i sometimes have psychosis and hallucinations, i take medication for it and it works well but i still have episodes sometimes, it really helps having someone to ground me back into reality.

i really like bonding over interests with others and getting people into the stuff i like, i also love listening to others talk about things they like. i have really bad memory so i often forget important things but i try my best.

best way to describe my style i guess would be older brother core 😭??? idk but basically i wear comfy oversized clothes like silly t- shirts with cats on them and pj pants with cartoon characters on them and silly character beanies. 

i really like being shown love by getting gifts and people doing actions of service for me, i kind of have trust issues so it’s hard to believe someone when it’s just words and not actions.

i am super chaotic i love saying unhinged things and just being very loud it’s very fun for me, i like jokingly threatening to eat people  😭 i also often type in all caps.

i am in a lot of obscure fandoms and i LOVE nerding out about my interests! 

sorry if this is a lot 😭 but thank you so much!!

AHHH THE ONE I HAD DELETED 🥲

Hi hun!! This is completely fine!!

I’ve paired you with…. ANGEL DUST!!

When angel first met you, he definitely thought you were super attractive, and decided to hit on you!

But when he got closer to you, he really realized that he was starting to develop feelings 🩷

At first he was super drawn in by your reckless personality, but when you showed your true kind self- he fell in love.

With your sense of Justice especially… when he saw how you treated Valentino… and GENUINELY truly cared about him? It broke down his walls and let you into his heart.

He definitely introduced you to Cherri and you all became BESTIES. They would totally drag you around to parties and such and socialize ! You guys are the LIVES of the party.

If you confided in him about the mental illness and autism, he definitely would ask a BUNCH of questions to understand you more, and also try not to offend you.

He’d also try to help you through your episodes. He knows he isn’t the best comforter, but he tries. :(

If you told him your special interests he’d bolt out the door with you to do those things! Like clowns? LULU LAND!

Collectors Items? THE STORE!!!!

Angel would love to do some of your hobbies with you. Shopping? You guys are staying out ALL DAY. Writing? You better read whatever it is to him. Listening to music? SINGING YOUR HEARTS OUT!

Honestly, he’d probably judge your outfit choice, until he decided to steal your outfit one day, and realized how comfortable it is??

He totally steals ur clothes at night.

Angel would agree with you !! Actions speak louder than words, kinda why he’s at the hotel! Although he’s always pretty sexual, I think he’d be a sweetheart.

The chaotic nature is what brought him in! You guys are always having fun.

He would also LOVE TO listen to you rant 24/7. Even if he cant get into your interests, he’d try. And he’d always listen. It helps him get away from the world.

~~~

I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY?!!

[mistydeyes]

Hello! I don't know whether matchups are open and if not you can delete this request. But...

Can you please give me a MW2 matchup? 🙂

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

MBTI: ENTJ-A

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Appearance: 5'7', Slim thick, dark brown eyes (looks black tbh), Curly black medium length hair, fair skinned, wears glasses (cuz I can't see shit without them)

About Me: I'm Indian and I come from a conservative family, and so my upbringing was a bit weird and made me into a weird mess. I would consider myself an introvert. But definitely not someone who sits in a corner of a room and stares. I do enjoy having conversations with people, but my social battery is low and so I get tired pretty quickly. But if I'm speaking to someone who I am really interested in, like my longtime best friend, I would talk for HOURS!!!. When it comes to friendships, I'm a very selective person. I'm not someone who gets close with people as it's very hard for me to open up, as I'm quite reserved. I also don't get along with a lot of people so 🤷🏻. Also, people have pointed out that I look unapproachable and Intimidating as I have a resting bitch face. I maybe having the best time of my life but my face does not show it, at all 💀. Or sometimes, I get really stoic and people can't tell whether I'm sad, happy, or angry lol.

I'm a level headed person, but sometimes people get on my nerves and I'm the type to bottle all of those emotions. Then when a minor inconvenience happens, BOOM! I will literally turn into a demon and my whole day just got ruined.

I'm someone who really cares about my loved ones. I will protect them from anything and I will help them out in any way I can. I'm a good listener and love to empathise with people who are hurt or would let people rant so they can feel better. I'm the therapist and the mom friend of my friends group so.... Yeah, I care about the ones I love wayyy too much. My love language is acts of service, words of affirmation and gift giving. Also, as much as I love giving love and care to others, I hate receiving it as I have mentioned before, have a hard time opening up. It takes a lot of trust and a lot of time for me to do so. So basically I give therapy to others meanwhile my mental health is blown to shit.

When it comes to work, I'm very organised and hard working. I don't like procrastination as it drives me nuts (Even though I still do it sometimes, idk why). I'm logical, focused and very passionate on the things I love. My favourite subjects are Math and Physics as I do fairly well in them. I'm not the best but I work hard and it pays off. That's why I'm opting for Aerospace Engineering in college. I take my work very seriously and definately not the type to fuck around.

Outdoors, I come off very cold and serious, but indoors I am very goofy, silly, pretty stubborn and bossy (sometimes stupid). I love doing small pranks and doing weird things that crosses my mind. I'm very loud and laugh at the stupidest things that I see or hear. Also love to play around with my pet cats. I'm a huge geek/nerd and love to talk about my hyper-fixations. Also, I'm a huge animal person and I love to feed strays and sometimes, I take them home with me. 😄

I'm very loyal but I can cut ties with people who have done me wrong. 100% has no problem in confronting people. I also suffer from ADHD, PTSD and mild depression. I also have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek or fidget my fingers or shake my legs.

Likes/Interests/hobbies: video games, reading books, writing, drawing, cooking, baking, watching murder documentaries, taking care of animals, horror, sci fi and action movies, tea, spicy food, rain, gardening, math, science, literature, history, travelling, listening to music.

My type in a partner:

Should be very passionate

Hard working, wise, mature and adventurous

Someone whom I can banter with and make me feel secure

Can be extroverted, introverted or ambiverted.

Can be on the playful side.

Alejandro Vargas (a/n @queenof-spades WE LOVE WOMEN IN STEM!! also girl I relate so hard to the conservative parents who push you to be the best :') good luck with all your studies!)

How you met: A trip to an aerospace engineering company was not on Alejandro's bucket list for the year. Especially after the last contracted company they dealt with (he's still getting his base in order after the fiasco of Graves and the Shadows). However, another joint mission with the 141 required a preview of some new satellites and other multimillion dollar technologies. After going through rigorous amounts of security, him and Rudy finally met up with the 141. "Nice to see you again, hermanos," he said as he shook hands with his British counterparts. They were making small conversation when you walked in. Your shoes echoed in the facility and a long lab coat hung around your shoulders. "Gentleman, welcome to Boeing. I'm the lead scientist here and you can follow me on a tour of the facilities," you said confidently and quickly turned to lead them through the expansive company. As you introduced them to the team of engineers and showed them the technologies of your newest satellites, they stood in awe. "This satellite is equipped with the best monitoring technologies and can withstand the temperatures of exiting and entering the atmosphere," you described as you jokingly pounded on the hard metal shell of the satellite. "She does not fuck around," you heard Alejandro whisper and the group laughed in response. "That's right Colonel Vargas, there's a reason I'm working here at Boeing and worked my ass off for a doctorate," you smirked at him. As you continued on, the blush was evident on his face as he felt like he was struck by cupid's arrow.

A peek into your relationship: It was no denying your relationship with Alejandro was difficult. Between his position as Colonel and yours as the head scientist at Boeing, you both wracked up thousands of miles on business flights. However you made it work and were now comfortably settled in a comfortable south western mansion that offered you excellent wifi for meetings. You signed off from a consulting meeting with a new company that wanted to contract your planes and sighed as you shut your laptop. The last few days you were on edge and your husband took notice as you declined his offer for wine and gently pushed your food around. "Mi corazon, what's going on?" he asked as he got up from the table and kissed your head gently. "Just work things," you sighed as you melted into his touch. "You love work through, there's something else going on," he said and carried you to the couch, "you even turned down a glass of our favorite wine." As he studied your face intently, you asked him a surprising question. "Ale, do you love me?" you asked. It took him 0.2 seconds to respond. "Are you joking? Of course I love you, you are my moon and stars. You are like if the heavens sent me a goddess to walk on earth. You are Persephone, Aphrodite, and Athena all rolled into one," he exclaimed as he peppered you with kisses. You smiled slightly and nervously held his hands. "I, um didn't know how to say this but I'm pregnant," you said quickly and looked at his face for any sign of anger or disappointment. You had kept this from him so long as you didn't want it to affect his opinion on your work and traveling so often. You weren't about to be confined to a house wife position after all this time. Instead of a negative reaction, he scooped you up in his arms and spun you around. He held you stomach as he kissed it gently and whispered, "my own child, you're going to have the best parents." As he pulled you in a tight hug and kissed you softly, he was already designing plans for their nursery and how to encompass everything you both loved into it. (Just know that this child will be absolutely spoiled by you too, especially if Ale became a girl dad HAHA)

[sharpth1ng]

Love debaser, love that you’re a psych major. I am also so that’s awesome. I feel like tbh that’s probably why you’re good at characterization as well. I was wondering how you can tell in general if someone is autistic vs bpd? You’ve talked about Billy’s psych before, and I am just wondering if you can talk about it generally too.

Thanks so much! Essay incoming:

So I would say take all of this with a grain of salt, I'm not a clinician- I work with clinicians but this isn't my specialty and personality disorders should really be diagnosed by specialists.

But generally the best evidence we have about the development of BPD is genetic vulnerability (Things like emotional sensitivity and impulsivity can have a strong genetic component) in combination with an invalidating or unsupportive social environment. What counts as a trauma for someone depends heavily on what their level of sensitivity is, and also what resources they have to deal with it, so the idea is that bpd is essentially something that develops when someones emotions and needs are invalidated consistently from a young age.

It becomes hard to trust other people and also your own feelings, and you may learn that you have to do things like lying to get the help an support that you need, or that your emotions are so large and you have so little support for them that the only way to cope is to harm yourself. All this is to say that bpd, trauma, and invalidation are closely tied together.

Now moving on to the connection with autism, because theres a not insignificant number of autistic people who are also diagnosed with bpd. This may be a slightly sweeping statement, but at least for myself, being an autistic child was inherently traumatizing. I was constantly subjected to sensory hell in school, around other kids, and particularly at meal times, and my meltdowns were perceived as intentional tantrums. On top of this I would lose the ability to speak sometimes and this was also taken as an intentional behaviour.

Because there are so many things neurotypical people don't even notice that are traumatic to autistic folk (like fluorescent lights or an unexpected change of plans) we are constantly invalidated, especially when we are young. Basically here I'm just trying to explain why the overlap exists.

No on to differentiating the two, this is a useful diagram:

The real answer here is that we're still really trying to figure out exactly how these two disorders interact and how to differentiate them and in my opinion theres a lot of terrible research in personality disorders, and a lot of unqualified people giving out diagnosis (don't trust your family doctor to diagnose you with a mental disorder, they at most got like a month training and psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors study this stuff for for 6-8 years).

There is also some evidence that autistic people who were assigned female at birth are more likely to be diagnosed with bpd than people who were assigned male at birth who have the same symptoms, so there might be a gender bias in the way that diagnosticians perceive people too.

There are some bigger differences to look at though, so things like sensory symptoms (sensitivities but also stimming), special interests, neurodivergent body language, literal interpretation and introversion are more common for autistics. In contrast, people with only bpd are more likely to have a history of childhood abuse or neglect, heightened sensitivity to perceived social threat (which some autistic folk may be oblivious to), drastic emotional up and down, and personality instability, where they frequently change values, hobbies, opinions, friendships, ect. (while in contrast most autistic people are pretty consistent on those things.)

One of the most important things is to figure out why behaviours are happening- for example, self harm and substance abuse are common for both groups, but for autistics these behaviours are often a way to compensate for sensory overload and anxiety, while for people with bpd they are a way to deal with feelings of emptiness or overwhelming emotion.

Another example would be difficulty in relationships- for autistic people this often comes from an inability to spontaneously produce neurotypical social behaviours, so a lot of us miss cues or copy and paste behaviours to try and blend. In contrast many people with BPD have an unstable sense of self, so their social behaviours can seem "disorganized" from the outside, and they may miss read situations because they constantly looking for threats so they can try and protect themselves.

Personal history is also important- if someone has a deep distrust of people because they were neglected as a child, this may point to bpd, but if they have a distrust of people because the weren't able to read their peers and got severely bullied for special interests in elementary school, then this may point to autism.

And again, some people do have both! But it's honestly really difficult to differentiate them without seeing a diagnostician over a long period of time. Its super important though, effective treatment for an autistic person is different than effective treatment for people with bpd, and for people with both its different as well.

I hope this is somewhat clear! I don't want to simplify any of this because it actually is really complex and I just want to be honest about that.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Hi, I'm in the middle of creating a list of books by autistic authors with more than one central/significant autistic character. It is on Goodreads right now, and I was thinking about also making a twitter thread to find more upcoming works, especially by authors of colour. The goal is to showcase books where there is more than one Autistic character who is central to the work. E.g. protagonist and love interest(s), multiple pov characters, mother and kids, main character and their community, a supervillain and their archnemesis... anything where the primary relationships, plot and narrative force comes from multiple autistic people. This is kind of a complicated question, because I remember seeing on twitter that you sort of accidentally wrote Rhian as autistic but as far as I know this is not on-page or stated elsewhere. In SoulBound, I really loved how Rhian relates to him by talking about how it felt for her when she first learned to shadowmelt and then they hold hands and ground themselves together, and although I'm not sure if you meant it this way, the way they communicate feels very neurodivergent to me. Would you say that both Rhian and Lynn are autistic, although with Rhian it is not explicity named on page, or is Lynn the only autistic character although Rhian possibly has some autistic traits, as a reflection of you as an author?

As a separate question, if you think that SoulBound does meet the specifications, would you be comfortable with it being added to the list? I know that visibility can be tricky and vulnerable to put on the page or be open about, and that sometimes people prefer to keep things not publicly labelled in a specific way, so I would only want to add SoulBound if you agreed.

Thanks so much! Please feel free to message me directly if you have any questions.

I'm not sure if you understand how happy getting this made me. I cried happy tears. I often feel like I'm just throwing my brain babies into an empty void because I never see them on lists, or people talking about them, and I'm never gonna get my magic Unicorn for hitting 50 reviews on Amazon 😅🦄.

I get why, people don't often like to talk about books with certain types of content, but as the author, it's miserable to just not know which characters people loved, what things they enjoy about my work, or if something meant something to someone. I hear absolutely nothing about my work, and when I look, there's very little. TBH, I learned to stop looking. This is possibly the first time someone wanted to add them to a goodreads list.

I live in desperate hope for fanfic or fanart. The idea of someone loving something I created so much that it inspired them to create is just mind-boggling. It's definitely author goals for me.

My heart projects mean so very much to me and one of the reasons I write and share what I write is because an author's words have absolutely kept me breathing through hard times. There have been nights where if I didn't have another author's words to cling to, I probably wouldn't have seen the dawn.

If I and my work can be that hand in the dark telling people like me that there's still beauty and hope in the world... then publishing as a poverty stricken author has meaning and is worth it. Of course, it would be really nice if my books or patreon made me a living wage. I could write so many more books if I didn't have to worry so much about affording the basics! At the end of the day, I'm a pretty decent writer and I deeply wish I could afford to do it more often.

So, thank you so very much. You made my day ❤ (maybe my month).

Now to your question.

Rhian has always been autistic/ADHD, from the very first moment she marched into my head and demanded to be written. She's written with some of my stims and autistic ways of thinking, her ADHD manifests like mine does. I did downplay that a bit with her character for reasons, but she absolutely is. I was extremely hesitant to label her such on page because of her profession. There are some rather common assumptions people make about someone who murders people. Even if she's sanctioned by a God, she's still a murderer.

It's always, 'the shooter was autistic or mentally ill'. When 3% of violent crime is committed by mentally ill and neurodivergent people, and 97% of it by regular neurotypical people, it's a fraught subject. I didn't want to add to that incorrect and painful prejudice. It already harms enough people. I don't mind answering here, because there's space to explain my reasoning.

Y'know, I'd just written the handholding scene when I said I'd accidentally outed Rhian as autistic on Twitter 🤣. It was just so obvious in that scene. I didn't label it specifically because of prejudice, but I figured people who needed to see it would likely be able to.

Kai has ADHD. I tried to depict that in him by how he's always on the go, and with his temper. A lot of ADHDers have quick tempers that can get away from us. I did my best to keep him just ADHD for variety, but he's neurodivergent too. He may have some autistic traits simply because I'm autistic.

With Lynn... I showed a lot of my personal autistic and ADHD traits that I rarely let anyone see. It was hard to write for me because, well, people are already really awful to autistic/ADHD folks, and I didn't want to add to that with my depiction. Yet, at the same time, I wanted to let people see that rep. We need actual rep of what autistic people are really like. It's a part of most autistic/ADHD folks lives. Meltdowns aren't an automatic part of being autistic/ADHD. Something has to push us to that, usually traumatic or overwhelming stuff. But they do happen, and maybe by showing Lynn's meltdown, it helps someone.

I agonized for a while after writing Soulbound about whether I should take the meltdown scene out or not.

The handholding scene really just felt perfect to me because it's how I would react. Little steps toward intimacy. I absolutely meant that scene to read as two NDs grounding themselves together and also showing unequivocally the step they were taking, together. I think with intimacy, especially physical intimacy, the way autistic/ADHD folks do things isn't really shown much. I wanted to show it.

I mean, there's still a lot of people who infantilize us and think we couldn't possibly be interested in sex and romance, when in many cases, it's the exact opposite of the truth. Many of us do indeed want to have those things. It's just way harder for us to find it.

I'm very comfy with you adding my work to your list. Honestly, I'm thrilled, awed, and honoured. Thanks again. Not all of my work has multiple NDs, but most of it does.

So for ease of reference:

Ace Assassin series

Rhian (Risk, Rhi): autistic, ADHD, OCD, high anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic attacks, chronic severe depression, CPTSD. Also demisexual, grey aromantic, bisexual, genderfluid non-binary, submissive if she can trust who she's with. Can switch to Top but it’s not her preference.

Alkaios (Kai): ADHD, anxiety, depression, CPTSD, abandonment & trust issues. Also pansexual, allosexual, alloromantic, genderqueer, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can switch with Lynn, no one else.

Lachlan (Lynn): autistic, ADHD, OCD, high anxiety, suicidal ideation, depression, CPTSD, self-harming behavior. Also bisexual, genderqueer, kinky, Dominant but can switch, polyamorous, allosexual, alloromantic.

Ilavanian Dreams series (repub 2023/2024?)

Tormaëline (Maël, Maëlcolm): Autistic, ADHD, prone to dark depressive episodes and lying to himself, self-harming behavior in a variety of ways. Pansexual, demisexual, aromantic, gender-fluid, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can switch with someone he deeply trusts.

Cameron (Cam, Tànaiste): Autistic (different flavour than his brother), depression, periods of deep melancholy, pansexual, demisexual, alloromantic, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can switch with Li.

Carnelian (Li, Selinas): Autistic, depression, panic attacks/anxiety disorder, CPTSD w/heavy trauma from what was done to xyr and how xie grew up. Gender neutral non-binary, pansexual, grey aromantic, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can either switch or pretend to with a client.

Astrophilos (Los): ADHD, chronic severe depression with suicidal ideation. Genderfluid non-binary, though he doesn't really feel the need to display it or fuss about it. Pansexual, kinky, polyamorous, allosexual, grey aromantic, Dominant but can switch with Maël.

Kataniya (Kat, Kitten): Autistic/ADHD, severe chronic depression, anxiety, CPTSD, suicidal thoughts, DID, cleithrophobia, claustrophobia, pathological need for freedom. Bisexual for now, (she's still young so still figuring herself out). Gender non-conforming, demisexual, alloromantic, kinky, polyamorous, submissive.

Maikke (Mai): Anxiety with panic attacks, CPTSD, lost memories, gender non-conforming, allosexual, demi-romantic, pansexual, polyamorous, kinky, switch.

Mothmen:

Shea: Autistic, ADHD, depression, PTSD, bisexual, alloromantic, polyamorous, kinky, switch.

Jai: Autistic, depression, generational trauma, CPTSD, pansexual, demi-romantic, polyamorous, Dominant

Ryan: ADHD, PTSD, kinky, bisexual, polyamorous, switch, demi-romantic

Unreleased books:

Sanctuary Heart (2023?)

Amon-Ea: Autistic, chronic illness, chronic pain, demisexual, agender, alloromantic, depression, social anxiety. There's no sex in this one. It's the one I wrote for sex-neg folks who wanted to read my work. (There's only one ND character who drives the plot in this one, there may be more stories in the series depending on reader reaction. If so, a rescued sea person and Amon-ea's brother are also ND.)

Faerie Glamour (2024?): current WIP

Liadhain (LEE-ah-thane): autistic/ADHD, chronic pain, chronic illness, demisexual, bisexual, grey aromantic, polyamorous.

Ruaidhri (RUR-ee): ADHD, anxiety, depression, claustrophobia. Allosexual, pansexual, grey-aromantic, polyamorous.

Finnvarr, Finn (Fin): Autistic, chronic severe depression, social anxiety, CPTSD. Bisexual, demisexual, grey aromantic, polyamorous, trust issues the size of mount fiji.

There's a few more ND characters, but I'm still working on this one.

That's most of the main characters. If you have any questions please feel free to ask! I sorta threw a lot of info at you. Oops. 😅

For anyone interested in reading about the adventures of my brain babies, here's some links. These will take you to the first chapter in each book so you can see if my writing voice works for you. Please remember to be careful about the content warnings.

I'm so freaking terrible at self-promo 🥴.

Links to first chapters of my books

Bloodbound is the series starter for Ace Assassin

Prelude of Bloodbound

Mothmen is a standalone novella based on the urban legend about mothman.

Sample of Mothmen

Ilavani is the series starter for Ilavanian Dreams.

First chapter of Ilavani

Note that Ilavani is still down for a new cover. It's almost finished and depending on how much life throws at me, I hope to have it back out this year.

[shoccolat]

autistic hcs bc it's all i can think about atm

❤️OSOMATSU:

• not one to mask much and is often very blunt, has been told he's rude way too many times but he doesn't really care tbh, he's just being honest

• has a VERY hard time expressing his emotions, either turns it into anger and lashes out or just goes nonverbal

• doesn't like to be alone with his thoughts so he finds lots of ways to distract himself (though he has bad coping methods and often turns to addictive pastimes like gambling and drinking)

• stims: a lot of hand stims including flapping, rubbing under his nose, that lil mini naruto run he does, putting his hands in his pockets to secretly play with whatever garbage is in there, & fidgeting with his hoodie strings. also randomly dabbing (projecting bc i do this too lmao) and VOCAL STIMS!! echolalia, palilalia, random sounds, etc. he's very vocal when he's happy!!

• special interests: horses, whatever manga/anime he's into atm. he infodumps sometimes even though nobody really wants to listen to him, he just talks at them, also bc he's not into the same manga/anime as choromatsu so there's a lack of common interest

💙KARAMATSU:

• a lot of masking but he's not very good at it tbh

• has a good amount of scripts but fumbles through them or goes nonverbal before even approaching someone and ends up missing out on a potential conversation

• socially anxious but tries desperately to pretend he's not ✨

• wears sunglasses to avoid eye contact and also bc he doesn't want people reading him too deeply, he's sensitive so his emotions are often on full display even when he tries to hide them

• PEOPLE PLEASER, will definitely mold his personality/manner of speech to match the person he's with

• stims: putting on and taking off his sunglasses, he also likes sequined clothing bc he likes to run his fingers and nails along them

• special interests: fashion & making clothes, music

💚CHOROMATSU:

• takes his diagnosis/discovery hard at first, doesn't like having something "wrong" with him

• he feels better about it once he realizes "oh THAT'S why i do that/feel that way" and can learn better ways to cope and accommodate (for both himself and his brothers)

• likes to be prepared and has a LOT of scripts but often stutters through them

• socially anxious and gets stressed easily

• often indulges in escapism as a coping method, with a hyperfocus on idols and anime

• probably has like a repertoire of safe foods bc textures 🤢

• stims: FLAPPY HANDS, a lot of hand fidgets like playing with his zipper/hoodie strings when nervous, dermatillomania, also vocal stims like humming & echolalia, and wiggling/rocking

• special interests: nyaa-chan, idols in general, whatever anime/manga he's into, technology, space

💜ICHIMATSU:

• has hardcore social burnout as well as mask burnout from doing it so damn much in high school

• semi-verbal like 80% of the time, goes nonverbal a lot

• monotone speech (i mean that's not a hc but it's worth noting)

• only really talks a lot when he's infodumping or has either a physically written or mentally planned script he can follow

• another socially anxious brother, doesn't really focus on making scripts bc he's not one to approach people so the conversations he does have are often awkward

• cares a LOT about how other people perceive him even though he doesn't show it

• also another brother who has a hard time expressing emotions, he often bottles things up until he hits a breaking point

• gets overwhelmed very easily by crowds and confrontation or meeting new people

• VERY METICULOUS about cleanliness, rules, and manners

• stims: PRESSURE, holding or petting soft things like cats and plushies, kneading, rocking

• special interests: cats, horror movies/slasher films

💛JYUSHIMATSU:

• probably the first one to find out or be diagnosed tbh

• has trouble with social cues and norms, is very much one to just do and say what he likes without much care for what others think (mostly; he's been shown to be much more aware than he seems)

• prone to meltdowns and often takes a while to calm down and recover

• doesn't use scripts much either, just talks about whatever, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't

• used to mask in high school but stopped, his happy face might be a mask too but he seems a lot more comfortable like that so maybe not

• stims: omg SO many happy stims, flappy hands (loves long sleeves bc he likes how they feel when he flaps), waving his baseball bat around, rocking, and VOCAL STIMS!! another very vocal brother, echolalia, palilalia and random sounds just like his big bro :) they get a bit noisy when they're both like this together and are often told by choro, ichi, or totty to go somewhere else

• special interests: BASEBALL, dogs

💗TODOMATSU:

• his tiktok fyp gradually filled up with enough "relatable" #neurodivergent #autism videos that he was like "huh okay maybe i should actually look into this"

• not at first, though: like choro, the discovery is also hard on him and he avoids coming to terms with it for a while before finally giving in and going on an online research binge

• he has a LOT of scripts, both for irl and texting

• his texting often comes off as "dry" bc he's really not good at going off-script and holds himself back from infodumping bc he doesn't want to be overwhelming. he can hold a conversation decently but secretly hates small talk, although he's not very good at furthering a conversation past that if he doesn't know what the other person is interested in

• MASKINGMASKINGMASKING

• he masks SO MUCH OH MY GOD even with his brothers he's gonna burn himself out so bad 💔

• he's also very much another one to mold his personality and speech to match the person he's talking to

• stims: fidgeting with his phone, his phone is a crutch and he feels very anxious when he doesn't have it with him, he likes phone charms bc extra thing to fidget with ❤️, also randomly does peace signs (projecting again with literally all of these but ✨)

• special interests: fashion, cute things like hello kitty etc., probably secretly stuff like true crime or serial killers tbh but nobody will ever know about that ✌️

[rainbownixie]

adhd mike headcanons?

i love this so much <33 adhd mike is so important to me!!

when he hyperfocus on writing he can't focus on anything else and he often forgets there's people around him. will often stays by his side when that happens because he loves to draw mike without him noticing <3

it's so so so hard for him to write sometimes. like- he gets distracted by EVERYTHING and he often procrastinates. he goes to nancy's room to annoy her, he eats out of boredom, he calls lucas out of nowhere only because he can... did he forget to tidy his room?? LET'S DO IT NOW. he's only able to focus whenever will's around, because having someone else working next to him (drawing, in this case) makes him want to focus on his work too.

he has an hyperfixation on dnd!! and i'm sure it seems pretty obvious but i like to think about him rambling about the campaigns and his characters and stories and the music they could use while they play! he's so so into dnd and won't stop talking about it.

he's always late to everything. they have to meet at 5? he gets there at 6 because he either forgot or he thought he had enough time to get ready in 10 minutes, when he actually ended up getting distracted and it took him like 1 hour. dustin goes to his house to pick him up ever since that one day when he absolutely forgot about them.

he can't do ANYTHING if there's noise around him. hearing nancy or his mom talk on the phone is like ten thousand nails on his ears. he gets easily distracted so it frustrates him when he can't do anything about the noise, and that causes a lot of meltdowns. he can't even think when there's people talking or music around him.

the last point is why he often doesn't sleep. not because he just can't (that too, he has a lot of energy at night) but because at night his house is way more silent and calmer. so he spends the whole night awake doing his own stuff in the basement and then he falls asleep around 6am. karen is always worried about his health tbh

he gets frustrated when people interrupt him or don't pay attention to what he's saying. conversations are really hard for him because he feels the need to talk all the time but ofc others need to talk too. he doesn't get annoyed at them or anything, but it makes him upset. will loves hearing him speak for hours tho

he struggles reading long books, and he hates it because i have this hc that he likes stephen king and the poor boy wants to read his long ass books but it's really hard for him

i don't think he's a bad student, i actually think he's pretty smart. but he gets distracted and bored easily in class. especially because he seats next to will and behind dustin/lucas and they're just- so easy to talk to in the middle of class. he only focuses in english class or in mr.clarke's (that man always keeps him focused with his excitement and teaching methods).

he struggles so much expressing himself out loud. there are just too many thoughts in his head and he gets so frustrated when he can't just say what he's thinking. they always have to wait for him to stop stuttering, breathe in, and organize his thoughts before he says anything. that's why he loves writing and dnd, it's the only time where he can express himself easily.

he gets overwhelmed pretty easily so people touching him is a big no-no. that's why he's the one initiating physical contact with will

god he hates watching a movie without talking. whenever the party has a movie night, they have to get ready to hear him ramble for hours about every little scene. will loves it, btw.

he can't sit down correctly and won't stop moving and stimming. when the party hangs out together to chill he always ends up standing up and walking around the room. if he sits down, he prefers the floor rather than a chair or a couch.

he's pretty much exhausted and tired most of the time because he doesn't really sleep well and needs constant serotonin. people think he's rude and boring but you just have to give the boy something to do.

don't ever give that boy money because he doesn't how to spend it correctly and always acts impulsively and buys shit he doesn't actually want

random hc but he bites will. like, lovingly bites will. he goes MUNCH and he bites his hand or arm or cheek. it's his way to show love, okay

he feels so bad for forgetting stuff about will :( like forgetting dates and stuff. however, he always remembers little things and fun facts about him and it always makes will happy

dustin is always the one to realize he's bored so he always talks to mike and gives him stuff to work with when they're just chilling

lucas will always remind him to eat because he forgets to do it. often.

mike isn't rude or mean, he just takes criticism badly and that's why he speaks impulsively and says stuff he doesn't really mean

the only one who understands what he's saying when talking fast is max because she pays attention to every word without even noticing

el understands him perfectly when he's having a meltdown, and she's basically the only one besides will who can calm him down

his room and the basement are a fucking mess but he gets frustrated and annoyed whenever karen fixes them. he has his own way of organizing stuff

i... projected A LOT on mike. thanks for this ask!!! it makes me so happy really <3

[voidpacifist]

viktor x autistic!reader headcanons!

(disclaimer I am autistic but that doesn't mean i speak for anyone who is! it's a spectrum not a scale :) )

gender neutral reader, sfw

first of all, this man fucking loves it when you talk about your special interest(s)

could listen to you ramble on and on about them for hours and hours, even while he's working

and when you ask him why he loves it so much, this man just gets a grin and is all like, "well y/n, this is part of your life and makes you happy. that makes me happy, no?"

some days you're very very very chatty, so much so that he can't keep up with your info dumping

he'll always ask (very gently of course) for you to go over bits and pieces one more time

and then some days you're not chatty at all, to the point where even just talking is overwhelming

he keeps a chest of weighted blankets and toys in the lab for you to stim with on those days

he'll just know immediately by the look on your face what kind of day it is, because he's someone who's hyperaware of other people's cues

he knows all of yours very very well, but he never expects you to memorize all of his. he's very direct with you about his emotional needs because even though they're easy for him to read off of you, they're very hard for you to read off of him

you probably don't look him in the eye a "normal amount," either staring for a long time during conversations or not looking at his face at all

on your "no talking days," as he likes to call them, you have a lot more trouble looking at his face. even though he insists he doesn't mind and that society's rules about eye contact are stupid, it's easy to feel bad about

you grew up masking who you were, while viktor grew up unable to hide who he was, so anytime you feel comfortable enough to stim around him oh boy does he have a lot of feelings about it

mostly pride, because wow, that's his partner and best friend trusting him enough to be themselves around him!

he 100% builds fidget toys when he's bored. he's always watching the ways you like to move so he can accommodate that with his inventions

mel medarda walked in on him making a toy once, and now when she isn't using the ones she has to bribe councilor hoskel, she'll just randomly drop them off at the lab

like you're probably just talking through some of viktor's notes with him when there's a knock at the door and mel fucking medarda is in the lab and she just smiles at you both before leaving the toy on the desk

definitely keeps you occupied for hours, much to viktor's (lighthearted) disappointment

sleeping is hit or miss for both of you. sometimes one or the other will be too full of thoughts to sleep while the other is out like a light

it's usually viktor who falls asleep first, because his body requires more maintenance than yours

(the maintenance part can be true for machine herald viktor too, though I doubt he requires any sleep tbh)

viktor finds it painful to sleep on his back because of the screws in his spine, and you don't like the feeling of them against you, so he's usually the big spoon. when it's been a long day and he needs to be the one receiving spooning, you have a pillow to put between the two of you

so it's like a viktor-pillow-y/n sandwich

you can't stand small touches like poking or tapping or even hands on your shoulders, so viktor finds other ways of getting your attention

your favorite is when he just leans on you. it's attention grabbing but it's also very grounding

considering this mf is mostly skin and bone

it's rare for you to have meltdowns, but they do happen. and when they happen, viktor has a whole mental list of steps on what to do. he's written it and showed you before on your good days so you both can do the steps together

helps your brain process things one at a time, while having some company

he never touches you during these unless it's to give you tight squeezes

one time, you fully asked if he would just sit on your chest. it was an adamant no from him because he knows how hard it is to breathe when you're panicking

(but when you're not panicking, he definitely indulges in that request)

you guys are both excellent communicators if you need help from the other. if he's not having a good pain day, he'll tell you. if you're not having a good sensory day, you'll tell him and vice versa

"витя, can I have my blanket?"

"y/n, can we go home early?"

jayce isn't as well versed about your support needs as viktor is, but mans does his best

it was his idea to keep the chest of sensory items in the lab, but viktor knew what to fill it with

jayce is an extremely touchy person, we all knew that

so it takes all of his willpower not to pat you on the back (literally) when he wants to express affection

that's okay though, because you give him a big ol squeeze before he goes home in the evenings

you and viktor probably share an apartment. and if not, either way he has a section of his fridge/pantry dedicated to your same foods and other texture friendly foods

similarly, you have a section of your bathroom cabinet chalk full of pain meds, hot water bottles, etc.

you guys are both so damn sappy where do I even start

petnames galore

he likes to call you honeybee, because according to him, you're "always buzzing."

you like витя best, because it comes from his name already

(that's all I can think of now but I hope yall like these okay byeee)

витя — pronounced "vitya," diminutive of "viktor" in russian (I know he's czech I just wanted an excuse to use this nickname)

[gendertrickery]

I used to dismiss the idea/was hesitant to entertain the idea that I’m autistic for the same reasons. I didn't fit the popular image of autistic person and many most typical autistic traits didn't apply to me, but the more I learned about autism (mostly from trusted specialists and other autistic people) the more I understood that there’s no single approved autism model that every autistic person can fit into. Few of my close friends I hang out a lot with is also autistic and each of us have wildly different traits.  I think pvnkassbvtch really covered all the things I could say about it quite well, so I guess all I can offer is some of my personal experience.

Most of the traits that made me in the past  doubt that I’m autistic are those related to empathy and social skills, since I do have quite a lot of empathy (sometimes it’s bothersome, how much, tbh) and I’m very good at reading the room and picking up social clues (mostly. sometimes I mees up and and usually catch up that I misinterporeted something, but sometimes it’s moment later, and sometimes few hours later), but it’s really most important to me *how* I process all that, because it all goes through the lens of my autistic brain. Sometimes I think that the trait of being direct etc is mostly coming from observation of autisic children, becauase children don’t really have a filter. I do appreciate if I can have conversation with someone that’s direct communication instead of stack of blind guesses glued together with assumptions and weirdly interpreted good manners, but I can def handle that (and if I don’t want to, I can consciously choose if I want to call other person out on this or not), and sometimes I do enjoy that kind of indirect way of talking. A lot of how I communicate is effect of my ongoing work of self improvement and being good with communication is a big part of this (my family is not great at communication, it’s extremely frustrating and when years ago I decided that I want to actively become better person, I took a lot of lessons from observing my family and going “I don’t want to be like that, I need to do better”) so I assume that at least part of me being good with social skills is learned. But I did learned it in a way where I was paying attention to intentions and stuff, and I do see difference between  myself and allistic people with that (I feel like I’m not being clear on this, but it’s late and I didn't planned to use so much brain tonight, sorry). I also thought that I don’t stim, but then I remembered that since Iw as a kid, I LOVED swings, I would go to children playground and just swing until it was time to go home, and then I never had enough of that one place in local park that had swings big enough for adult to use, and I remembered that in fact, there are quite a few things that definitely are stimming, but they’re socially acceptable. Like rocking chairs. Or dancing. And as was mentioned above, stimming don’t have to be physical (my keen interest in perfumery and love for quality incenses and scented candles is definitely stimming method for me), it’s about stimulation. I could probably keep going but I’m spent for now. Might add more tomorrow.

A lot of autistic and adhd (which I also have, because obviously) traits and symptoms go together and overlap and sometimes it might be hard to determine which one is causing something specific. I understand the need to lay out everything and be able to pinpoint the exact cause of something, but human mind is kinda messy and not so clean cut, at least not with our current understanding of science, so this could be really tricky. I guess you’d have to talk to a specialist about that, I don’t think this is the issue that can be solved through googling and listening to other people’s experiences alone.

(honestly? if I had to guess, I’d say that your need to have it clearly divided like that is autistic thing)

But then, if the only thing you have on possibly being autistic is your family assumption, you should definitely take this to the specialist.

Merry Crisis. I'm currently wondering if I'm truly Autistic or if this was an inaccurate conclusion drawn by my family based on how my ADHD + social anxiety + OSDD + inherited sensory issues manifested.