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waterfallofspace · 3 months ago

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omg tma!! I started re listening it a few weeks ago and obsessed again. I would love to see some more Elias from you🫣 Your previous fic with him is still one of my favourites

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!~

So I uh... meant for this to be a drabble, but it... got a little out of hand... and it's not very snz heavy, more plot/general sickness heavy, so I apologize if that's not what you had in mind, just kinda went the way it went~

A Betting Man

The one in which Peter bets Elias he won't last the day with the terrible head cold he's 'hiding'. (Definite HUGE spoilers for the M/agnus Archives, so please be aware of that!)

Characters: Elias, Peter, Tim, Rosie ( ft. lonelyeyes + mentions of Jon + Sasha) Word Count: 4.3k

It’s been a long week, even for Elias. Dealing with a new archivist is always a bit of a headache, but especially now with all that’s at stake. Near constant surveillance has left a strain on… what perhaps one could refer to as his ‘eyes’. Jon has required a fair amount of supervision to make sure he stays on the right path- or, shall we say, at the right pace.

Leaning forward in his chair, Elias allows his face to rest against his hands. Jon’s in the middle of another statement, still adamant to deny his way through the horrors. He’ll be occupied for at least another fifteen minutes. More than enough time for a brief rest. Not a nap, just… a couple minutes to rest his eyes…

“Mr. Bouchard?” Rosie’s voice over the intercom jolts him awake from the waves of fatigue that had been pulling him in.

Elias hits the button to respond. He barely manages to get the “yes-” out before his voice breaks. He releases the button, ducking into his fist with a harsh cough, before trying again.

“Yes, Rosie, what is it?” His voice still sounds rough, and he silently curses the nasal quality it possesses.

“Uh, sorry to disturb you, Tim just has a few questions about some follow up to a statement, but I can tell him you’re busy… or…” Rosie trails off, the hesitation evident in her voice.

“Well,” a voice sounds out, ringing out like a gunshot in the silent office. “Better not keep him waiting.”

Familiar as it may be, the sudden nature of the intrusion comes as quite the shock. Elias maintains a white-knuckled grip on his neutral expression as he turns to face the captain, heart pounding in his throat. “Peter, I believe I’ve asked you to announce yourself.”

“Ah, you did, seems I’ve forgotten again, ever so sorry Elias,” Peter smirks, unfolding himself from the corner he’d been watching from. “Wouldn’t want to step on your toes, what with the watching and all. More your thing than mine, isn’t that right?”

Elias simply rolls his eyes in response, glancing back to the intercom. Peter follows his gaze, chuckling lightly.

“Peter,” Elias cautions, scanning back over to Jon in his mind. Still caught up in the statement, going on about some form of… meat. Not something Elias needs playing in the back of his mind while dealing with Peter.

“Rosie’s waiting,” Peter interrupts, pulling Elias’s full focus back onto him. “Shame to leave her hanging, sweet girl and all, just trying to do her job.”

“If you’d really like me to answer her, you’d leave me alone so I cahh… can do just that.”

Elias trails off for only a second, feeling the itch that he’d believed quelled earlier this morning start to bubble back to the surface. The cold medicine should have had another few hours left. Seems burning the candle at all ends has its downfalls.

He still manages to finish strong, fighting off the sensation with a single brush of his finger. It did not, however, go unnoticed. Elias fights back a sigh as the sparkle he’s come to know all too well begins to appear in the sea captain’s eyes. The eager glisten of someone with a bet to propose.

“We both know you’re perfectly capable of answering her with me in the room. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to be… subtle,” Peter offers, still watching Elias carefully.

With a deep resignation, Elias hits the button again, informing Rosie to tell Tim he’ll stop by later. She answers with thanks, interrupted by Tim shouting something about ‘right-o double boss!’ in the background. A slightly mortified Rosie repeats her thanks, the intercom cutting off her apologies for the intrusion.

Elias simply ignores it, turning his attention instead to Peter, still lingering in the office. Not undivided this time though, as Elias feels his nose twitch again. Eager to get this over with, he simply awaits Peter’s proposition. He could attempt to Know it, but with the current state of his head, and the dangerous buzzing in his sinuses, the risk seems to outweigh simply waiting.

“So,” Peter begins, eyes flicking up and down Elias, as if running final calculations. “I’ve got a wager to offer.”

“I figured as much,” Elias replies, leaning back slightly in the chair and adjusting his suit jacket with feigned disinterest. “But I don’t believe you have anything to offer me that would entice me to accept it.”

“I have a feeling you’ll take it anyways, Elias.”

“And whhih.. why iihh- hehh!-” With a desperate sniff, Elias manages to pull back control, fighting back the burning creeping up his nose.

“Because,” Peter cuts in, looking damn near gleeful at Elias’s struggle. “You’ve always been a betting man.”

“hiEh’mMPFfshh-uih!” Elias winces as the sneeze breaks through his control. He barely manages to catch it in the soft folds of his rapidly deployed handkerchief. Peter looks beyond thrilled at this, as if the sneeze itself was some form of acceptance. And–

“hH’MPFSHh’uh! hiH’MFSHH–oo!”

They both know it never stops at one. Managing to stall the onslaught with a rough massage of the handkerchief, Elias cautiously lowers it and meets Peter’s eye again. Peter, for his part, offers a blessing. Elias shrugs it off with a grimace.

“Fine,” Elias says, internally cursing again as his voice scrapes painfully against his ever-worsening throat. “Will taking this bet get you to leave me alone?”

“I suppose so, if that’s what you’d like,” Peter replies casually. They both know it’s not a hard sell, getting him to be alone.

“Then get on with it, what’s the wager.”

“A simple one,” Peter smiles, leaning forward and resting his arms on the desk. “If you manage to hide this terrible head cold you’ve picked up from the rest of your staff, then you win!”

Of course Peter could tell. The medication had picked a lovely time to wear off, but… having this be the focus of such a wager was still… unpleasant. And besides, he had no time for such dramas. Jon was finishing up his statement by now. Elias found himself Knowing that Jon was in fact asking Sasha and Tim for the final reports on the follow up they managed to do. And for that, Tim was still waiting on him.

With another sigh, this one hitting something on the edge of his lungs and leaving him coughing into his fist, Elias manages to gain enough composure to reply with a mild, “I’m quite the busy man, Peter.”

“Oh I know you are,” Peter pushes the glass of the water on the desk closer, and Elias gives him a muted thanks. “However, all I’m asking you to do is- well, what we both know you were planning to do anyways. I’m just interested in making a little money on the whole ordeal.”

“Fine, name your price and then leave me to my work,” Elias replies, managing to stall the coughing with a few sips of the water.

“Fifty dollars says you get caught before you go home today.”

“Noted. Now, if you’ll excuse me?” Elias stands from his desk, gesturing Peter towards the door. “I have an appointment with Tim.”

Peter doesn’t fight this, simply offering a deeply unsettling smile as he folds back out through the door. Only a faint mist clouding the hallway and echoing in Elias’s mind lingers as any proof he was there at all. It soon fades from the doorway, though the fog covering Elias’s thoughts remains. Maybe that one is more from the fever than the visit.

“mMFhsh’oo!” Elias groans softly into the handkerchief, already feeling the hitching start up again as his eyes begin to water. Never just the one. “mPFShh–eh’MFSHhh’oo!”

He pulls his hands away, before ducking frantically into his shoulder for a final, “ah’tshhiew!” that manages to slip through before he can catch it in the cloth.

Mercifully Peter left before that particular outburst, the pitchy whine of the last burst sending a rush of heat to Elias’s ears. Peter’s never been one to shy away from a good bit of taunting when he gets the opportunity, and this would definitely have served as host to some mocking.

Making his way down the hall, Elias gives Rosie a polite nod, wincing slightly when she calls out to him.

“Mr. Bouchard! Sorry sir, just have a couple things to run past you, if you have a moment?”

“Of course Rosie,” Elias replies, turning slowly to face her with a calculated smile. She means well, and he can’t find it in himself to be upset with her. It’s hardly her fault that he’s unwell, or that he had the misfortune to draw Peter’s attention.

“I’ll try to make this fast, there’s just a few forms that need a signature, some follow up for you to review- oh! And I almost forgot, Jon was asking about a few different statements.”

Absent-mindedly beginning to sign the papers, Elias turns his focus to finding Jon. It turns out he’s in artifact storage, looking at something related to a statement, perhaps. It’s not an inconvenient spot for him to be, should make the meeting with Tim go a lot smoother.

“Sir?” Rosie says, hesitantly. Elias manages to pull himself back, finding it harder than it should be. This fever seems to be worsening by the minute.

“My apologies, I’m a touch… preoccupied,” Elias pauses briefly, feeling the all too familiar sensation start buzzing in his nose once more. He manages to stall it with a quick rub. Rosie doesn’t seem to notice, too busy looking down at her stack of paperwork.

“Oh, I’m sorry sir! There’s just the follow ups, and Jon’s questions-”

“Please leave those follow ups on my desk, I’ll get to them after I go and see Tim. As for Jon, I’ll pop by his office and talk to him myself,” Elias cuts her off, keeping the smile on his face as gentle as he can manage.

Rosie smiles back, nodding and jotting down a few notes on her pad. Elias nods his thanks, then making a few polite excuses, takes his leave. He barely makes it down the hall before the buzzing becomes all consuming. Handkerchief long forgotten at his desk, he settles for pressing his wrist to his nose, and attempting to stifle the onslaught.

“ek’ngt-chh! eh’dngt! –nngdt’chh! hihh… hh’ngKT’chh–oo!”

The last breaks through with a whiny exhale, spreading the fevered flush deeper into his cheeks. He’d always taken a sense of pride in his control, both of himself and those around him. Part of being alive, and in power, as long as he has, it comes with the territory. But this cold was determined to rob him of any decorum he had left, it seemed.

Mercifully it seems no one witnessed this outburst either, but his charade of health is rapidly deteriorating. Elias lets another internal curse slip, this time it nearly passes his lips. Discreetly wiping a thin sheen of sweat from his forehead, he continues down the hall towards Tim.

Elias’s specific brand of Knowing has its advantages, not the least of which being the ability to find any employee whenever necessary. In this case it’s walking up behind Tim pouring himself a coffee in the kitchen.

“I heard you wanted to speak to me, Tim?” Elias says, voice cutting through the silence. He admittedly revels a little in the shudder that runs through the (much) younger man’s spine.

“Double boss,” Tim collects himself fast, giving one of his patented charming smiles. It’s no wonder the– well, everyone, falls for it so fast. “Uncanny how you can sneak up on someone like that! Have you thought about going into the surprise birthday planning business?”

“I… don’t believe that’s a thing,” Elias replies patiently, offering a contained smile. It’s never a good idea to put off one’s subordinates so soon. Keep them in line? Of course. But this early on, respect and fear are both key weapons to wield.

Tim chuckles, pouring a frankly outrageous amount of cream and sugar into the coffee before giving it a light stir. “Well if it isn’t, it should be!”

“I think I’ll leave the party planning to you, though I’ll always find some time to stop by for a piece of cake.”

“And you’ll always be welcome, you’re the big boss after all!” Tim smiles again, though Elias can see every ounce of sarcasm plastered throughout the grin. While he may not match Tim when it comes to charm, he far surpasses him in skills when lying is at play. He’s had much more practice, after all.

Biting down the urge to cough again as his throat objects to the prolonged usage, Elias steadies himself with a firm, “I was told you wanted to see me? If you wouldn’t mind getting to the point, I do have other matters of which to attend…”

“Oh, right!” Tim starts, setting down his coffee and reaching over to the table for a couple files. Elias takes this moment to duck into his wrist, managing a pair of completely silent stifles. Another trick his years have let him hone, though each new body seems to take a varying amount of time to reach perfection.

“hk’ndGT-uh!”

This one, unfortunately, is deeply uncooperative, letting the final sneeze escape into a strangled noise. Tim doesn’t seem to have noticed, busy rustling through the files. He’s obviously looking for something. It would be much easier to simply Know, and just give Tim the answer before even hearing the question… but that draws too much attention. He’ll just have to wait it out.

Since he’s standing here anyways, Elias takes the chance for a quick peek at Jon. He seems to have settled himself back into his office, clicking away at his computer as he translates a few statements over to the device. Hardly interesting work, they’re certainly not anything worthwhile, but they should give him something to do for the rest of the afternoon.

“Boss?” Tim’s voice pulls him back, and Elias attempts to focus on the file being held out to him. Attempts, and fails.

Instead, all he manages to do is offer a half strangled noise, and sway slightly on his feet. Tim, to his credit, is quick to react; pulling out a chair and leading Elias gently into it.

“That’s quite alright,” Elias protests, attempting to stand before quickly thinking better of it. He plays off the attempt as merely changing position, crossing one leg over the other. “It was just a touch of dizziness, haven’t been sleeping enough lately, what with Jon in his new position and all. A lot of late nights, as I imagine the rest of you are pulling as well.”

Tim’s face is nearly unreadable. Elias almost considers Knowing his feelings, but given how poorly checking in on Jon just went, he’s not eager for a repeat performance.

Instead, he settles on raising carefully to his feet, and steadying Tim with a polite but firm look. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. Now, the files? I believe I mentioned it before, but I have quite a lot to do.”

With a small nod, face still tightly guarded, Tim lets his gaze drop down to the files, collecting the papers he’d been holding out before. He hands them over to Elias, who recognizes quite quickly that they all feature connections to some rather big donors. This must be why Tim wanted his input before continuing. He had given Jon quite the talking to for digging in too far the other day.

“The trails of these follow ups have led to some interesting places,” Tim begins, going on some rant about Jon’s persistence, Sasha’s lack of interest in hard work, and more meaningless drama. He’s just started on something about ‘needing a contact in the law office down the block’ when Elias feels the all too familiar tickle beginning to reemerge.

He isn’t going to be able to get away without making his departure all too obvious. No room for polite excuses or subtly in this moment, so with a slight grimace, he makes his move.

“So sorry, please excuse me for a sehh- second.”

Tim pauses, just beginning to ask if everything’s okay when Elias turns into his wrist, bending at the waist ever so slightly as he ducks away with a tightly contained “ih’gnDt!”

“Oh- bless yo-” Tim starts, getting cut off by a wave from Elias, still hitching rapidly into his wrist.

“N- nohhht… d- done… hk’nNgtchh! ih’mMFSShhh’uh! mMPFSHh! ih’MMPFShhh–oo!”

“Christ, bless you boss! Quite the show there,” Tim laughs, clearly not too worried about mocking his superior. Normally Elias might chastise him a touch for that, but now doesn’t seem the time for such things. Instead, he merely offers thanks, grabbing a tissue from the counter and attempting a polite blow.

There is a slight wince from Tim at this, Elias mimicking the action as his sinuses throb at the action. The dull ache spreads further throughout his head, and the world seems to spin as Elias pulls himself back to his full height. Tim’s still looking on, a touch concerned, and Elias offers a vague wave.

“Apologies, the dust down here still tends to get to me sometimes, even after these years.”

There’s a brief pause, Tim seeming to consider this explanation, before the tension melts from his posture and it’s right back to the rambling. It’s much different from Martin’s brand. That seems to be more about nerves, his mouth moving faster than he can keep up with. Tim’s is more calculated, seemingly just enjoying the sound of his own voice. “Seems to happen to loads of people. They’re used to a much cleaner standard I think, the libraries seem to be cleaner at least, and it’s often a bit of a shock I think for people to see what disarray we’re in! I mean hell, I’ve succumbed to a few attacks of my own, and Jon– christ, you should have heard him when he first started emptying out those boxes. Nearly dragged him out by his collar a few times, just to make sure he didn’t stop breathing.”

“And I thank you for that,” Elias interrupts with a polite smile. “Not eager to have to fill the role again quite so soon.”

Tim chuckles a bit, but generally seems to be a bit lost in his own thoughts. Recalling memories of those first few weeks, Elias supposes. Or, shall we say, Knows. The knowledge leaves him a bit dizzy, but nothing nearly so bad to knock him off his feet this time. Tim snaps out of it quickly, returning to his line of questioning about donations, funding, and… things that sounded to be walking a fine line of legality.

Elias gives the proper responses; a smile here, nod there, yes or nos when appropriate, some casual conversation when there’s nothing to comment on past a vague nicety. Eventually Tim finishes with his questions, Elias offering what knowledge he had– or rather, what knowledge he reasonably could have.

“So if that’s all,” Elias says, relief beginning to spread through him as the end of this meeting draws tantalizingly close. “I’ll be getting back to my desk, and you should get back to work as well. There are still plenty of hours left in the day.”

“Not much for me to do until Sasha gets back,” Tim starts, but Elias quickly cuts him off with a click of the tongue.

“I’m sure Jon could always use a hand, perhaps you can go get a few more boxes to pack up the statements he’s already been through.”

“Or,” Tim strings out the word, giving a tilted grin. “I could go help Sasha with some very important research.”

This thinly veiled attempt at getting off work would, once again, normally deserve some form of response. The least Tim could do is pretend to be working, put a little effort into the charade. But between the chills beginning to work their way up his spine, and the consistent itch that won’t leave him be, Elias finds himself with bigger things to focus on.

“Do what you will, just make sure you gehh– get your work done before you leave for the day.”

The single hitch breaks through his focus, Elias fighting it off with the last of his resolve. Tim doesn’t let this one slide past though, reaching over and moving the tissues closer with a touch of a smirk on his face. Apparently eager for another display from the boss. Even as much as he despises the vulnerability, Elias can’t say the… voyeuristic side doesn’t hold its own appeal.

It’s hardly up to him though, he’s been denying the whims of this cold for far too long it seems, and luck has run out. With the last bit of control he has left, he manages to grab a handful of the tissues Tim had so kindly pushed within reach, ducking into them as the fit finally breaks through.

“hH’RRSHHhoo!”

“Woah, bless you boss, that wa-”

Elias cuts him off with a shake of his head, still hitching desperately into the tissues.

“N- never… nehh… never just… hK’TZSHHhoo! eh’RZSHhhoo! Christ, I cahh… can’t– eh’RSHHh’oo! hh’ETZSHhhiiew!”

The last one comes out more whiny than the rest, Tim at least having the decency to look concerned at the change of pitch. Elias manages to watch him through watery eyes, finding it almost amusing how arguably the most charismatic of his employees seems absolutely lost as to what he should be doing. In his defense, at this stage, there isn’t much to do but ride it out.

“ih’EZSSH–EZSHH’oo!” The pair stumbles over each other, but leaves Elias with a long enough gap to grab another handful of tissues. He manages to get off a quick blow, wincing synchronously with Tim at the noises it produces. Not like he has much ability to save any dignity now.

Thankfully, it seems to have stopped the attack, and Elias sinks himself back into the chair Tim had pulled out for him earlier, exhausted. Really quite astounding, with how far the modern world has come, still a cure for the common cold remains out of reach.

“Christ, boss, bless you,” Tim offers, Elias startling a bit as he comes to the sudden remembrance he’s not alone.

“Thagk you,” Elias replies, once again leaving them both wincing at his rapidly deteriorating state. If he didn’t know better, Elias would think Peter somehow caused this illness to behave in this fashion. Alas, he does know better. And, for that matter, Know better. This state of rapid decline is par for the course in this body. It seems to have a quite poor immune system. Unfortunately not something he can blame Peter for.

“I think you’re running a fever,” Tim pauses, seeming to, for the first time, truly take in Elias’s appearance. “A pretty bad one too, I’d guess.”

Elias pauses, face calm as he weighs his options. It’s almost certain the bet’s lost now. The other symptoms he could probably have waved off as more dust related problems, but a fever… that’s hard to pin on a mere sensitivity, or even an allergy.

Still, the bet’s not his main concern. Maintaining his careful balance of fear and respect requires a lot of maintenance. Being seen this unwell, this vulnerable, that certainly could tip the scales into unwanted territory.

“I’b–” Clearing his throat, Elias attempts some semblance of normal sounding speech, though the edges of his words still hold that heavy congested tone. “I might be a touch under the weather, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I appreciate your concern, but all I need is a good night's sleep, and I should be good as new.”

It seems a mutual agreement that that statement was a lie, and that neither of them is going to be the one to point that out. Tim offers a vague shrug, mutters something sarcastic under his breath about ‘not being Martin’, followed by something about ‘spreading the plague to the whole office’, but generally leaves without much of a fuss.

The fussing, no doubt, will come in the form of a salt-tinged sea captain waiting in his office. Elias doesn’t even have to Know, to know that one.

As he makes his way upstairs, shrugging off Rosie’s concerns with a tight, yet friendly, dismissal, Elias finds himself hurrying to duck into his office before the–

“hh’atshhew! at’shhoo! Christ.”

“Bless you, Elias.”

Elias turns to face the voice, accepting the handkerchief it offers out to him. “You knew I’d lose, dihh… ah’tzshh’oo! atschhew! heh’RRSHh’oo! Bloody hell.”

“And again,” Peter smirks.

“Didn’t you?” Elias finishes, keeping an eye on the figure standing next to his chair.

“Of course I did,” Peter replies, nonchalant as ever. “Rosie had you clocked since this morning. You had lost before you even accepted. Surprised someone of your standing didn’t… Know that already. Still, it was quite entertaining, watching you attempt to hide it for so long.”

Elias simply rolls his eyes, blowing his nose for what is almost the first real time today. It leaves him breathless, and he follows it with a second, then third. He takes more than a hint of enjoyment from the looks of concern that flash across Peter’s face.

Placing a fifty on the table, Elias sinks into his chair, finally beginning to let down his guard under Peter’s watchful gaze. He puts up little resistance when strong arms guide him up, and over to the small couch in the corner of his office. The lack of resistance continues as those same arms pull him down, laying him carefully across the couch, head resting lightly on Peter’s lap.

No words are spoken between them, but then again, they never really needed such things.

#waterfallwrites #waterfallasks #thank you for the ask!!! i got a couple of these so i will work my way through them~#am going slowly since im trying to write when i CAN and WANT to write but uhhhhh~#as you can see- sometimes you end up with a lot of words that just feel right~#hopefully this is still enjoyable even if its not exactly like the other thing i wrote #or super snz focused~#feel free to request another if you have something more specific in mind!! i quite enjoying knocking this man down a peg or two~#but all that said and done- im pretty happy with this! so hopefully its enjoyable #but if not at least I enjoyed it and im starting to let that be enough <3 #thank you so much for the ask though!! i really appreciate it~#the m/agnus a/rchives #snz #snzkink #snzfic #snzblr

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poppy-thatcher · 2 years ago

Text

Kintsugi (Bakugo Katsuki)

A/N: I don't even care if anyone reads or likes this one. It's 100% self-indulgent. Though, I guess they all are. But this one let me get stuff off my chest that I've been bottling up.

All this to say... I've recently broken up with my boyfriend of 6 years.

The argument at the beginning is, more or less, how our last conversation went. I held back on some of the more cruel things he said to me. And the part after... that's me mending my broken heart the only way I know how to. With protective, cocky, Pro-Hero Bakugo.

You thought he was your forever... but who knew forever had an expiration date. But no worries... your shattered heart won't stay broken for long. And him, he plans to mend your shattered pieces with gold.

Warnings: Cursing from you-know-who. Suggestive talk.

Everything with him tonight felt forced. His smile wasn’t as bright, his attention a little spacey. When I gingerly walked him to his car, clutching my hurt side tightly in my hand, he spun to face me. The sheen in his eyes glossed them more than normal. My heart hammered in my chest. This look was very familiar to me. One I didn’t want to see ever again, one I was promised I’d never bear witness to again. A look I witnessed when we took our 3-month break after 3 years of being together.

With a wavering semblance of braveness, I stepped in front of him, my eyes immediately catching his as I spoke words I didn’t want to.

“Just… just talk to me, please,” I muttered, trying to get him to open up to me, to relay an ounce of what he was feeling. “I can see the pain in your eyes when you look at me, please stop hiding whatever it is you’re afraid to tell me!”

“I’m… I’m moving back home in a few months!” He shouted, a single tear streaking down his handsome face.

He knew this new adventure was something I couldn’t follow him on. He knew I had things here that tied me down to my location, my home.

“I love you more than I’ve loved anyone or anything,” he gently smiled at me, “But I can’t stay here with you any longer. This place makes me feel like my life is stagnant, like I’m wasting my time. I need to get out of here.”

“Oh.” I quietly said.

“We don’t have to split up right away. I’ll be here a few more months before I head back. We can spend our last months together, making memories.”

I nodded, a hollow feeling in my chest, and stepped back. For the first time in our 6-year relationship, I didn’t feel like seeing him or being in close proximity to him.

“Are you okay?”

I didn’t know how to answer that loaded question. My recent surgery left me weak, mentally and physically. Then the person my life circled around, the person I sacrificed pieces of myself for to make sure stayed happy, felt as though his life was stagnant. I had felt like the world’s biggest failure. What good was I if I couldn’t even make my closest friend feel like life with me was something worth sticking around for? Adding an impending expiration date on what we shared didn’t seem like the healthy option but my nerves made me keep those thoughts to myself. Maybe, just maybe, the little time afforded was better than nothing.

Silent tears streaked down my face. I gently wiped them away and looked into his alluring eyes.

“I understand that you have to go. But remember that I’ll miss you more than you can imagine.”

And he tightly pulled me into his chest, holding me close.

I quietly whispered, “I wish you would stay with me, but I understand why you have to go.”

He scoffed and pushed away from me a bit, “That’s a really selfish thing to say!”

I blinked rapidly, my eyes making contact with his, trying to figure out if his loud tone was genuine or if he was joking.

“Sorry?” I said, or more like questioned, unsure how to handle the new situation. Apologies always fell so easily from my lips in an attempt to stop the ever-ticking time bomb from combusting.

“Are you really though?” He asked, his brows furrowing as he kept me at arm’s length.

“For telling you how I really feel? No. I guess I’m sorry that I shared my feelings with you though.” I snapped back.

He gently pushed me away from his hold, pushing himself a few steps away to create space between us again.

“My life is stagnant because you made it that way! You,” and he exhaled, running his hands through his shoulder-length hair, “you made my life stagnant. You’re this burden I didn’t ask for, this dead weight that I can’t bother to carry. I deserve to live my life without dealing with your problems. I have my own to take care of.”

I loudly swallowed, attempting to keep my tears at bay. I pushed as far away as I could, not wanting him to hear the moment my heart shattered beyond repair.

“I didn’t ask for your help…” and he quickly cut off my rant.

“You’ve done absolutely nothing with your life and I don’t want that to be me! If I stay with you, here, I’ll end up sad and pathetic like you. So I’m moving.”

I nodded, putting my head down to not display the silent tears streaking down my face.

He stepped close, heavily sighing, and raised my face to look into his stupid mesmerizing eyes.

“Making you cry was the last thing I wanted to do.”

I pulled my face out of his hands, keeping my eyes to the ground.

Knowing someone I cared deeply about felt this way about me broke me to my core. He knew I felt this way about myself. He knew hearing these things would undoubtedly hurt me beyond repair. He knew this was something I struggled with immensely. Feeling like I was a burden, like I wasn’t enough, like I was just wandering through life trying to find my purpose and coming up empty-handed every time.

“We can stay together until I move, if you want. I don’t want us to end this way, on this horrible note.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, wondering why he thought that was something I’d even want to do. No matter how much I stupidly still loved and cared for him, being with someone when there was an expiration date didn’t feel all that healthy. Even more so when I knew I was nothing but a burden to him.

“I’d really rather not. No sense in staying some place I'm not wanted.” I exhaled, trying to stay strong and stop the tears from flowing.

“I thought you loved me?” he snarled, scoffing back at me.

“Funny, I could say the same to you. But you don’t feel that way about someone you love. Someone you love is never a burden, never dead weight. They’re someone you encourage… not put down.”

“Oh, now you’re just being a selfish asshole about it!”

I scoffed again, realizing this idiot never loved me. Not in the way that I loved him. He couldn't possibly love me with the way he was dismissing my feelings so casually. The way he always did, now that I thought about it. It was clear that he only ever loved himself.

I spun to go back inside my apartment but was quickly turned to face my new ex.

“There’s no coming back from this. Walk away now and I’ll not look back, I’ll not love you ever again.”

I roughly yanked my arm from his grasp, “Like you ever did.”

And I slammed the door in his face.

I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, mindlessly trying to juggle everything in my hands while I made my way through the people to get to the cash register that sat on the other side of the store.

I could see my destination in sight. But before I could even make it that far someone bumped into me, sending all my held items tumbling to the floor.

I pouted and kneeled, beginning to pick them up slowly, mentally trying to figure out how I would balance them again by myself.

His voice cut through the air as he called my name. My heart clenched and I quickly looked up into his familiar mesmerizing eyes.

“Wow, it’s good to see you! You look…. well... you look great!” he smiled down at me, not helping me pick my things off the ground, just watching as I struggled.

I smiled and quietly thanked him, not wanting to be rude and have him cause a scene. I went back to my task, paying him no mind. After a few struggles, I stood, hands full once again, and saw that he was still standing in front of me. He looked down to my full arms and gave me this smug look.

“Retail therapy? Still brokenhearted after all these months?” he smirked that deadly smirk that always made my heart race.

It did absolutely nothing to me this time.

I lightly laughed.

“You think I’m still hung up on you?”

And he leaned in close to me, making me try to take a step back, newly realizing I was already far too close to a clothing display to afford that luxury.

“You’re not?” And he brushed his fingers across my new bangs, carding his hand through my hair as I tried to find a way to make space between us.

“I’d sure as hell hope not. Not when she’s got someone like me to turn to!” I heard the gruff voice behind him.

I exhaled, finally feeling more at ease.

Katsuki pushed my ex out of my personal space and grabbed all the clothes I had in my hands, tsking and glaring at my ex for not even offering me any help. He winked my way and went to the cash register, everyone parting ways for the big Pro-Hero.

My ex opened his mouth like he was going to say something. But Katsuki’s booming voice cut him off.

“Oi, short shit… get that perfect ass over here!” he said, knowing his words made my face heat up and my cheeks and ears to tinge pink.

“Sorry,” I said to my ex, passing him.

Old habits die hard.

My ex, unknowingly to me, followed slowly behind. No doubt, to see what I was doing with a Pro-Hero.

“Do you have to be so loud?” I quietly murmured, blushing Katsuki’s way.

He smirked, making my face that much more red, and pulled me tightly into himself, coiling his hands around my waist and resting them at the apex of my butt.

“I don’t havta be, sweet cheeks,” he said, nudging my nose with his perfect one, “but I want that idiot of an ex to stay the fuck away from what’s mine.”

“Yours, huh?” I smirked back, biting my lower lip.

Katsuki’s eyes immediately drifted to my lips and then his vibrant vermilion eyes met mine quickly.

“Why did you have to get so much stuff?!?” he whined, turning to the cashier who was still ringing my items up, but not daring to remove his hands from my waist.

“You said go wild!” I laughed, “You could have gotten here sooner, ya know? So you could reign me in!”

“No, no. I wanted ya to get the things ya wanted. I just… I need ya like right fuckin’ now. And this is gonna take us all day!”

“It will not, you’re such a baby!” I laughed as he grabbed me tightly in his arms, nuzzling his head into my chest as I ran my fingers through his soft hair, making him purr.

“So… you using the hero for his money?” my ex said, finally making himself known.

Katsuki didn’t move from his position, just turned his head to make eye contact with my ex. He didn’t say anything but the glare he gave him made my ex take a step back.

“It’s just… she wasn’t particularly well off when we split. And it’s only been a handful of months since then. I didn’t think she’d replace me that quickly. Not to mention, she’s probably not found anything she’s particularly good at, right? She still kinda stagnant in life?”

I loudly swallowed, trying to not let my ex’s words get to me. Before I could say anything Katsuki stood straight up but kept me tightly in his arms.

“I’m gonna explain shit to you so your dumbass might learn somethin'. One, she’s not using me for my money. I care for her deeply and takin’ care of all her needs, gettin’ to see that beautiful fuckin’ smile is worth more than money can ever buy. Two, she’s not required to figure herself out in a set timeframe. Some of us take time to grow and learn what we want outta life. What she needed was someone to challenge her, inspire her, and encourage her to do and be whatever the fuck she wants to be. Whenever the hell she wants to be it. I got nothin’ but time when it comes to her.” And he pushed my bangs back, kissing my forehead, as I blushed again.

My ex stood there, brows pulled together, mouth agape. Katsuki turned back his way, keeping me tightly to his side as his hand rubbed methodically on my bare arm.

“By the way. She’s not stagnant. I’ve had her for 4 months and she’s blossomed into everything I could have needed her to be. She’s attentive and a people pleaser. I might have taken advantage of that fact a few times. She’s understanding of me and my hero work. And she’s just genuinely great at everything she does. I wouldn’t change a fuckin’ thing about her beautiful ass. How’s your life goin’ though, pal? Weren’t you supposed to move back to your hometown or some shit like that?” Katsuki laughed, handing the cashier his card, “hey, your loss is my gain. And I ain’t letting her go as easily as you did. I’m gonna marry her and make her have all my fuckin’ kids.”

“Jokes on you, she didn’t want kids!” my ex laughed.

Katsuki smirked at him, then looked at me, “She probably didn't wanna have them with a man-child like you. But she’ll have my kids. Won’t ya, kitten?”

I nodded, blushing, thinking about all the things Katsuki was promising me. I had never met a man who knew what he wanted before. It was shocking and very refreshing.

“Also, it’s her birthday, fuck face. I’d spend my whole paycheck on her if she’d only let me.”

The cashier handed me my bags and Katsuki quickly took them from me, tucking me into his side and kissing my forehead.

“I’m not sure why you’re still hangin’ around. But we’re headin' to my place so I can give her another, bigger, better birthday gift. You’re not invited. I don't share. Later, idiot.” And he pulled us past my ex, making me smile from ear to ear.

When we stepped outside I pulled myself from Katsuki’s side, bending over, hands on my knees, to catch my breath.

“Damn, babe. Are you okay?” Katsuki asked, gently trying to move my curtained hair from my face so he could assess me.

I took a huge gasp in, throwing my head back, finally releasing my loud laugh.

He rolled his eyes lightly chuckling to himself.

“You scared the shit out of me, asshole! Jeez!” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his fancy car that Valet had brought around.

“Sorry, but goodness. I couldn’t have asked for a better chance encounter with that jerk. You have just given me the most incredible birthday gift ever!” I said, finally standing in front of him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and playing with his hair that loosely hung at his nape.

“Nah, don’t think I’m done now beautiful. I got ya a lot more things waitin' up at my place.” He smirked.

“If it isn’t a puppy, I don’t want it.” I laughed, joking with him.

“What if I beg instead?” he smiled nice and big. A sight I didn’t see too often.

“I guess that works,” I said, laughing at him while he ushered me to the opened passenger door, waiting for me to get inside.

Unnecessary Extra A/N: If you did, thanks for making it this far in my ridiculous little self-indulgent story. That first bit hurt to re-read. I haven't cried much over the split. Like yeah, the first day absolutely killed me. My eyes were pretty much glued shut. I wasted 6 of my years with someone I thought was my forever. Not only that, but I was still recovering from emergency surgery and on strong pain meds. It all felt like such a horrid nightmare. But yeah... I cried reading that scene this time. Part of me sometimes thinks I overreacted to the situation. But the rational/logical part of myself felt like the split was a long time coming. Looking back at it now, the relationship was incredibly toxic. He suffered from really bad depression (way worse than my own) and I feel like I sacrificed a lot of myself to try and make sure he was happy. In doing so, I lost myself. I lost that person who loved to be artistic, crafty, and loved to write. I spent so much of my time with him, worrying over so much, that I now have the most horrid anxiety. Some days I feel I'm beyond repair. But the episodes are getting further from each other. I have felt more my original self in our time apart than I have in quite a long while. And I'm incredibly thankful for that semblance of peace I've managed to regain. Sadly, we run in the same circles, so seeing him will always be a possibility. Hopefully, I get the same kind of relief my written self got here. Someone who can appreciate me for who I am and encourage me to be an even better version of myself. I'm definitely not in a rush, since I want to get my old self back and do things that make me happy again, but patiently waiting for my Bakugo! 😆

#bakugo x reader #mha x reader #bakugo katsuki #bnha x reader #heartbreak #hopefully I stick with posting #I've written quite a lot of things in my solitude #a lot of Haikyuu pieces #a smut piece I'm especially nervous to post because I still don't know that I'm THERE yet #see... part of me thinks I knew this was coming #i was just waiting for the other shoe to drop #a Yuta piece I wrote when I was still with my ex... it's about cheating on him with Yuta and throwing away a 6-year relationship #it came from a dream I had #I've never even thought about cheating because I'm loyal to a fault... clearly #But if Yuta was real 🤔#my ex was my first EVERYTHING so I think I held on for dear life just hoping that my love would be enough #it wasn't enough for him #but i suppose one day it'll be enough for someone #sorry... I ramble

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