#still mad at him

[kagesdumpsterfire]

I DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THE COFFEE THEORY! I can't. I HATE IT!

SPOILERS AHEAD, obviously.

Listen, I get it. I understand those of you that do. You need there to be a reason. Some explanation why Aziraphale would abandon Crowley for Heaven. Some reason that he would listen to Metatron. Why he would still (after everything they've been through and everything they've seen) believe Heaven is good. You need to have a reason to believe that Aziraphale wouldn't do that to the demon he is so obviously in love with.

You have made excellent arguments. You have used evidence to explain your point. You have done a great job making sure that your argument makes sense. And I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. You want so badly for there to be a reason that Aziraphale broke Crowley as he did. And there is, but coffee just isn't it. At least not in my opinion.

The reason is right there, in front of us all. It has been since the very beginning.

Let's take a look at Crowley. When he was an angel he was a very powerful one. (which is another bundle of theories entirely) He helped design the plans for the universe. Presumably, he spent the vast majority of his time doing so. He poured his heart and soul into creating something he believed was worth something. Look how excited he was to finally roll his project out. He was an artist admiring his work, watching it come to life, filled with glee at the thought of watching it grow and expand over millions of years, only to be told it was all for nothing. The thing he had spent his entire existence working on was going to be wiped out in less than a fraction of the time it was supposed to last. The thing he had put so much love into, was only created for someone else to destroy.

Imagine Dali being comissioned for a master peice and putting his all into it only for the buyer to paint over it because they didn't like that the clocks were melted. Imagine someone taking a Van Gogh and painting it to look more realistic because they weren't a fan of the colors. It was like that for him. So he asked questions. He wanted to know why and was rewarded by being tossed out of the only home he had ever known, doomed to dwell in a place that was the complete opposite. All because he didn't want to see his hard work, this thing of magnificent beauty, destroyed.

Crowley never belonged in Hell. That much is obvious. He was such a beautiful and joyful creature and now, he is a demon. And he's bitter. He has every right to be. And he's lonely. He doesn't like the demons anymore than he liked the thought of his work being wasted, but he is forced to dwell among them so he does what he can to make it as easy for him as possible, as long as it doesn't conflict with his morals. And he is so very lonely. He has no one. Except...

Except for the angel that helped him prime the engines for his creation. The angel that experienced the birth of his work. The angel that tried to advise him to keep himself safe. He found that angel again at the Eastern Gate of Eden. He learned that angel had committed a tiny act of rebellion of his own. Because he felt something wasn't right. And suddenly, Crowley was less lonely. He had found someone, still in Heaven, who also seemed to realize that not everthing the Almighty chose to do seemed to be right. Someone whose morals seemed to match his own.

He never wanted to make that angel fall as he had. He would never force someone to suffer the same fate he had suffered. He just wanted someone who understood him. Because he was lonely, and having Azriraphale understand him made him less so. He tried his best to show the Angel that not everything was black and white, and the angel seemed to understand that as well, no matter how much he denied it. How couldn't Crowley fall in love with him?

Crowley said it himself so many times. Aziraphale was his best friend. His only friend. The only being in existence that understood him. That really knew who he was. He had found someone to be at his side; on his side. So it became a balancing act. Keeping the angel happy and on his side and keeping Hell happy to keep himself alive. And he managed. For over 6000 years. Until the apocalypse threatened to destroy that balance. See for Crowley, I dont really think it was about saving humanity. Not entirely. He had obviously learned to love humanity over the years, but it was more than that. If the apocalypse happened, if humanity was wiped out, if he managed to survive the war between Heaven and Hell, then he would be well and truly alone. There would be no more reason for him to meet with the angel. The only thing that made his exile bearable. He would no longer have his best friend. His only friend. He would just be alone. Forever. And after that, what would be the point?

We saw evidence of him feeling this way when he thought Aziraphale had died in the bookshop. He didn't try to keep looking for Adam. He didn't try to keep fighting the end of the world. He didn't even try taking off to another planet. He just sat in a pub and got drunk, lamenting his fall. It wasn't until Azriraphale showed back up that he sprung back into action. He was ready to give up again until Aziraphale threatened to never talk to him again. Not kill him, but leave him alone. And he does what he can to fix it. He helps save the world to save his friendship with Aziraphale. He goes back to Heaven to save Aziraphale.

And when they win he finds happiness. He doesn't have to perform the balancing act anymore. Sure, he's obviously bored, but he's content. He has no home; no Hell. All he has is his car, a few plants, and his angel. And he is content. Until Gabriel shows up.

Gabriel upsets his balance. His presence threatens his perfect little world where it is just Crowley and Aziraphale, alone, together. Gabriel told Aziraphale to shut up and die. He wants him as far away from them as possible, lest his world be upended again. And he's mad at Aziraphale for not realizing that. So he storms out. He wants to let the angel deal with it himself, until he learns that could mean Aziraphale being erased from existence entirely. That means not only would Crowley be alone from that point on, but he would have been alone forever. So he goes back. He agrees to help. He does whatever the angel says to get rid of Gabriel. He can't stand the thought of losing Aziraphale forever; of Aziraphale never existing at all. And he learns it's because he's in love. The lady at the coffee shop is right.

And he returns to Heaven again to save Aziraphale. He does everything he can to restore their balance. He helps the supreme archangel of heaven run off with the archduke of Hell. He wins. They win. He resolves to finally tell Aziraphale how he really feels. And in walks the metatron. A minor bump in the road he thinks. Until Aziraphale returns.

Then, there is his angel, the being he fought for, the being he loves more than anything in all of existence, telling him everything he had worked for, was for nothing. The angel wants him to return to the beings who made his life hell; literally. There is his angel, telling him he's a bad guy, but he can be better. There is his angel, proving that he never actually understood Crowley at all. There is his angel, destroying everything he spent his existence working for.

Still, Crowley begs the angel to stay, at the bookshop; with him. He tells the angel how he feels and Azriraphale tells him that nothing lasts forever. From his point of view, Aziraphale is asking him to change who he is. To change what he belives. He makes a desperate effort to show the angel how much the little world he's worked so hard to make for them really means to him, and he's told, with three little words ("I forgive you"), that that world isn't good enough for Aziraphale. Everything he thought he knew, was wrong. Everything he had worked for, was once again, for nothing

The demon Crowley is broken.

Now let's look at Aziraphale:

He's an angel who watched the birth of a nebula. He got to witness the Joy it brought to Crowley to watch something he made come to life. He got to witness the other's excitement. He got to see Crowley in his purest form. And it was beautiful, but the angel he knew was dangerous. The angel he knew was asking questions. Something about that seemed wrong, but also not. And then, the angel he knew was gone. In that angel's place was a serpent; a demon. A foul creature who tried to thwart the will of God. Aziraphale knows he should despise him, but he can't, because despite being a demon, he is still kind. When Azriraphale was worried that he had done the wrong thing giving the first humans his sword, it was Crowley that alleviated that fear. When the flood was upon them, it was Crowley who lamented the death of all the worlds children. There were still glimpses of the angel he once was underneath. That creative, joyful, dangerous angel. But he was a demon now. And he was even more dangerous as a demon. More dangerous, because his questions about the way things were, still made sense.

The trials of Job, is when Azriraphale began questioning everything. There was Heaven, determined to let Hell destroy the life of a truly good man and the only being trying to save what little Job had left was the creature that Hell had sent to do their bidding. Crowley. There was Crowley showing more compassion for animals and children than actual angels. There was Crowley, showing him the wonders of humanity (through food) and all they had to offer. And he tempted Aziraphale. And he won. And when Aziraphale was sure that his lie to save Job's children would land him in Hell, there was Crowley, promising he would never tell anyone what he had done.

It was confusing for him. They stood side by side for millennia and he watched, time and time again, as Crowley the demon went out of his way, putting his very existence on the line to help others. To save them. He listened for centuries as the demon pointed out flaws in Heaven's plans. He knew every point to be correct and that was terrifying. Because that way of thinking was exactly how Crowley became a demon in the first place. That's how Crowley ended up being so lonely.

Unlike Crowley, Aziraphale was never truly alone. He may not have always agreed with the other angels, but he always had them. He always had someone to report to, someone to give orders and some place to call home. Even though he chose to stay on Earth, he never knew what it was like to be seperated from heaven. He also never knew what it would be like to be seperated from Crowley, the devil on his shoulder. No matter how much he hated to admit it, they had become friends. As long as Heaven never found out, Azriphale got to spend his existence having his cake and eating it too.

Until the apocalypse came. He was faced with a moral dilemma. He had grown to love the world and all that it offered, Crowley included. He knew it was wrong to go against Heaven, but he had the whispers of a demon in his ear for centuries; a demon who made a frightening amount of sense. He wasn't prepared to lose everything the world had to offer and he certainly didn't want to live a life where he only got to have a third of what he had his entire existence. So he fought against it. He fought against the apocalypse and won. And was rewarded with being exiled from Heaven.

For the first time in his whole life, Aziraphale got to experience a small portion of what Crowley had lived with forever. And it was sad. It was a little bit lonely. He had saved humanity and got to preserve his relationship with Crowley, but he was cut off from something he had had even before he had either of those things. That obviously stung. He was still an angel, but what is an angel without heaven? There were no assignments, no miracles to perform. Just existence. He was without purpose.

And then Gabriel came along, lost, confused, and in need of help. He had a purpose again. Even better if he could get Crowley on his side, because he knew the demon must be feeling listless as well. Not only that, but because through all of time and everything else, Crowley had been his anchor. His ground. He knew the demon wouldn't like helping another angel, but the demon loved to help him. And so he did. He knew Crowley would, because if he had learned anything from their time together, it's that Crowley is good.

He gets to spend time with his demon and help a fellow Angel. Who is in love with a demon. And isn't afraid to admit it. And that's new. He wasn't aware that was allowed. It wasn't, but there was Gabriel and Beelzebub turning against Heaven and Hell for each other. There was The Supreme Archangel andthe Grand Duke of Hell running away together as Crowley had offered for them to do so many times before; because they were in love. Heaven and Hell be damnd. It was possible.

And then there was the Metatron, offering him a place in Heaven again. Not only that, but offering him a High ranking position. Offering him Crowley at his side, in Heaven, where he knew the demon had always belonged. Because Crowley was good. And Heaven could be good. He could make changes. He could take Crowley's thoughts about how things should run and make them reality. They could fix things for Humanity and rebuild Heaven's opperations to how THEY belived it should be. He could have back everything he lost and MORE.

And there is Crowley spitting in his face. There is Crowley telling him he doesn't want Heaven back. There is Crowley not wanting to do what he has always done anyway (fighting for good) this time on the right side. There is Crowley begging him to stay and give up a peice of himself that he never truly let go of. But also...

Crowley is saying that he wants to be with him. Crowley is comparing their relationship to Gabriel and Beelzebub. Crowley is telling the Aziraphale that they don't need anything but each other. He agrees that they need each other. He needs Crowley, but he wants Heaven and humanity too. And he begs to have it all. And there is Crowley, tempting him again with something that humanity has offered. A kiss.

("I forgive you" ) he forgives Crowley for all of it. For the anger and anguish he has caused with his temptation. He forgives Crowley for walking away. He always forgives Crowley.

But he is still angry. He is angry enough to leave, but it is not without doubt. He wants to stay more than ever before, but he is as he has always been; an angel of duty. He second guesses himself when he hears that Heaven has the second coming planned, and he glances across the street to see Crowley, waiting for him to change his mind, but what Crowley wants is unfair. What Crowley did was unfair. But Crowley deserves to live in a world where Heaven does the right thing for once. And so he gets on the elevator.

Whether it is to help or hinder Heaven's plan is left unclear.

See, for the coffee theory to work, you have to ignore something about Aziraphale that neither he nor Crowley will admit. Aziraphale is downright sinful.

Aziraphale is greedy.

Aziraphale is gluttonous.

Aziraphale is envious.

Aziraphale is wrathful.

And Aziraphale is prideful.

But he is also full of slef doubt. And that is Crowley's fault.

Because Crowley is a voice of reason from the unlikeliest source.

Crowley is temptation for answers that no one knows the question to.

Crowely is selflessness wrapped in a snake's skin.

Crowley is goodness in the form of evil

Crowley is kind, against his very nature

Crowley is the only reason he ever began to question what was wrong and what was right.

For the coffee theory to work, you have to take away the fact that both Crowley and Aziraphale are complicated characters.

Of course Crowley wouldn't choose to go back to Hell. He hates Hell. Hell is cluttered and full of hateful creatures that want to end Humanity.

Of course Crowley wouldn't choose to go back to Heaven. He hates Heaven. Its bureaucratic and boring and full of self-righteous creatures that want to destroy humanity.

Crowley has seen both sides of the coin and that's why he chooses to stand on the edge.

But Aziraphale hasn't. He's seen what hell has done to Crowley. He's seen what they did to that once Joyous and Creative angel he knew. He sees that Heaven made a mistake. Several mistakes. And he is offered a chance to fix it.

Of course Aziraphale would jump at the chance to fix the type of mistakes that caused Crowley such suffering. Even if it means losing him. Because Crowley deserves, at the very least, that. He deserves better. And Aziraphale has the chance to give it to him.

For the coffee theory to work, you have to ignore the fact that Aziraphale would risk everything for Crowley, including the demon himself, just as the demon has done for him.

Anyway, that got a lot longer than intended, but that's why I hate the coffee theory. It takes away too much from the characters. It's too simple and uninteresting. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong but I would be super disappointed if they went that route. It takes away from who Crowley and Aziraphale are as characters.

Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading.

[yuwuta]

whenever you and satoru have an argument, he holds your hand and he won’t let go until he’s certain you’re not mad anymore. you’re telling him off because he forgot to unpack the dishwasher again, and he knows that’s his fault and you have a right to be mad but he hates when you’re mad and even worse when you’re mad at him, so he does the first thing that comes to mind and laces your hands together. now you can’t leave and be mad at him alone, you have to be mad at him while he’s connected to you and satoru has learned that that far reduces the amount of time you spend mad at him. getting upset because he led you two in the wrong direction? holding hands until you’ve cooled down. upset with him for being reckless mid-fight? he drops his infinity just to be close to you, holds your hand and tells you the curse can wait, he needs your forgiveness more. mad at him because he forgot something important on his way home? you’re holding hands until you forgive him—which could be all the way until you go to bed, or dragging you by your connected hands with him to the store to pick up what was forgotten. you get irritated with him in public? he’s quick to hold your hands and beg for kisses. sometimes the first years see you steaming and satoru following you like a lovesick puppy, his leash being your laced fingers and megumi just sighs and explain to yuuji and nobara that, “they’re fighting. this is their get along tactic, just leave them be.” 

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

The Bronx Zoo has just released Flaco's necropsy results.

He was not thriving, as the people championing the ideal of "freedom" claimed.

He was poisoned.

He was sick.

He was suffering.

"Freedom" would have eventually killed him. A building just happened to do it first.

"Postmortem testing has been completed for Flaco, the Eurasian eagle owl that was found down in the courtyard of a Manhattan building a little over a year after his enclosure at the Central Park Zoo was vandalized on February 2, 2023. Onlookers reported that Flaco had flown into a building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on February 23, 2024, and acute trauma was found at necropsy. Bronx Zoo veterinary pathologists determined that in addition to the traumatic injuries, Flaco had two significant underlying conditions. He had a severe pigeon herpesvirus from eating feral pigeons that had become part of his diet, and exposure to four different anticoagulant rodenticides that are commonly used for rat control in New York City. These factors would have been debilitating and ultimately fatal, even without a traumatic injury, and may have predisposed him to flying into or falling from the building. The identified herpesvirus can be carried by healthy pigeons but may cause fatal disease in birds of prey including owls infected by eating pigeons. This virus has been previously found in New York City pigeons and owls. In Flaco’s case, the viral infection caused severe tissue damage and inflammation in many organs, including the spleen, liver, gastrointestinal tract, bone marrow, and brain.   No other contributing factors were identified through the extensive testing that was performed. Flaco’s severe illness and death are ultimately attributed to a combination of factors—infectious disease, toxin exposures, and traumatic injuries—that underscore the hazards faced by wild birds, especially in an urban setting."

The naturalistic fallacy kills animals in horrible ways. The romanticism of what humans want to think of as a "free, wild, pure life" cannot be allowed supplant the reality of injury, sickness, and death. Releasing captive animals (or keeping them from being recaptured) because it's "better" for them to suffer untethered than live a healthy, safe, captive life is inhumane and horrific.

Flaco's life didn't have to end in pain, sickness, and suffering.

Flaco's death didn't have to be tragic.

But once the idea of "freedom" entered the chat, Flaco's fate was unavoidable.

[zzoupz]

I'm not super in the fandom but I think a humanoid version of AM would wear that one fish hat but with the hate pillar speech on it instead

like this

[monsterhospital]

the best part about being a Girl Who Knows A Lot About Star Wars is that you can fuck with dudes so much. no guy has ever been able to refute my backed claim that moff tarkin canonically had sex with a stormtrooper. why? because doing so would force them to admit they've never read 'of mouse droids and men' and therefore know less about star wars than me: a girls' girl who thinks that luke skywalker and the mandalorian "are probably in an open relationship".

[writer-room]

Dragons Rising really is the best sequel series for diehard Lloyd enjoyers, cause, yes, we acknowledge that he has panic attacks, crappy mental health, and also he's the grandson of God, but you know what really gets me? Lloyd is tired.

He's plagued with migraines (the visions are also migraines don't @ me), he's bemoaning about never getting a good nights sleep, hes struggling so hard to be a good leader and clearly doesn't have all the answers, and he's just some 20yo who's been cursed with saving the world since he was younger than his own students.

That's the realest way Lloyd could've ever been written in a future-series. It's what he is. But he's not angry (usually), he's not telling everyone to deal with it themselves, and he's not giving up. I love when Lloyd has finally had enough, but the real, genuine Lloyd? He'd never stop caring. He cares so much it'd kill him. He's tired and by god does he refuse to quit. I love that kid. Please get him a warm blanket

[xxplastic-cubexx]

apocalypse doodlings aka We Couldve Had Grey Hair Erik And Charles Is There Too I Guess

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

Homewrecker Halloween

[royaltea000]

nooo don’t hurt him he has a baby to feed 😭

[blu3b3rrin]

uhhh parkciv ate my brain so i jumped for the cringeass yaoi

EDIT: minecraft but i read yuri in PARKOUR CIVILIZATION (this comic is loosely based on this fic ↓) https://archiveofourown.org/works/59668831/comments/839813416

[theredumbrellatheory]

BE NICE TO HIM 🤬

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out

[bacchuschucklefuck]

space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie

[rocktheholygrail]

2x07 || 2x08

[fuupan]

staring contest between luffy vs nyan-chan who's winning

[carveredlunds]

ASSAD ZAMAN as THE VAMPIRE ARMAND in INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.08: AND THAT'S THE END OF IT. THERE'S NOTHING ELSE