#starting off with our flags. next up is trans >:) then well get to the requests

[stimmy--cryptid]

aroace stimboard!!! happy pride!

X | X | X || X | X | X || X | X | X

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/23/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; How To Help; Rotten Tomatoes Reviews/GoggleBox; Cast & Crew Sightings; Taika; Rhys; Leslie Jones; New Watch Party: These Thems; Save OFMD UK Billboard; Transparency policy; RhysDarbyFaction; We'reWolves; Fan Spotlight; Podcasts/Youtube vids; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

Hey all. I'm starting out with the how to help section tonight because there are some things we'd love to see happen to try and help with the renewal.

== HOW TO HELP ==

= Rotten Tomatoes Reviews =

Okay all, this is a big one. It's been brought to my attention by @bzy_hands on twitter, that there are less than 1000 reviews on rotten tomatoes for Season 2. They have an excellent point, Con DID screenshot Season 2. If you haven't already, please go over to Season 2 and review it to help get over that 1000 review mark.

Need help on how to review on RT? @lowrahh Was kind enough to make a tutorial for us, check it out on the repo: Review on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB

== Let's Get OFMD On Gogglebox ==

Our crew-mate @queerly-autistic was kind enough to have written up a How-To on on getting OFMD on Gogglebox!

"One of the biggest things we can do to try and get Our Flag Means Death picked up by another network is keep making noise about it, and so I had a wild middle-of-the-night idea about one way we could do this: try and get the show on Gogglebox! For anyone who doesn't know, Gogglebox is an extremely popular and successful show in the UK on Channel 4, where ordinary people (and sometimes celebrities) watch and react to television shows, pop culture moments and films."

Wanna give it a go? Please check out their tutorial here!

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

==Taika!==

It's been a minute since we've seen Taika! But he's out with Rita at the Taylor Swift concert.

= Rhys Darby =

Well, even though Rhys is taking some time off until March, we still have some Cameo's coming in from prior to him closing cameos!

= Cameo 1 - Cryptids! =

Thank you to @iamadequate1 for sharing this fun little cryptid video +

Tumblr / Twitter Links

= Cameo 2 =

Our friend @blackcravatart over on twitter was kind enough to share a birthday video for her (edited for names). I don't know if it's anywhere else and I didn't get permission to download it, so I apologize I'll try to do that and get back to you if we are allowed to share it elsewhere! Cameo Video on Twitter.

= Red Dead Redemption 2: Episode 3 =

The next exciting episode of Rhys playing Red Dead is up!

= Leslie Jones =

I really don't post enough about Leslie, who is my absolute idol. She's out doing comedy at the Hawaii Theater in Honolulu tonight with @lennymarcusnyc! Just wanted to give a shout out her way since she's a BAMF and deserves all the love.

== New Watch Party ==

Join @adoptourcrew on Friday 3/1 for a watch party of #TheseThems! Times haven't been secured quite yet but mark your calendars!

Watch Party Hashtags:

#TheseThems

#These Gems

#AdoptOurCrew

Wanna see what other watch parties are planned? Feel free to visit the repo for Watch Party Events.

== Save OFMD Billboard Campaign ==

Some of you may have noticed that there's been some suspicious pictures going up across multiple platforms regarding a billboard with the hashtag #WatchTheHorizon from our SaveOFMD Crew. There's definitely some Billboard planning in the works and the crew has provided a bit more transparency on the situation this time. All links in the images will be listed below.

Links:

SaveOFMD Crew Transparency Policy

Team HAVEN

Trans Lifeline

RainbowYOUTH

Outright International

Full Twitter Thread

== SchadenFreude ==

Just a little karma for WB.

== Rhys Darby Faction ==

So for those of you not on twitter, there was a bit of fun had with a random film poll guy who posted a poll that included Rhys Darby on Twitter.

It was found by OFMD twitter, and immediately started being retweeted, which, is how twitter works, right? His Response to this was:

So several of our OFMD Twitter group decided to OWN that lovely little name, and put together an actual hashtag #RhysDarbyFaction... and start polite menacing and trying to boost engagement for #AdoptOurCrew and #SaveOFMD Which triggered a meme factory, here's a few:

#RhysDarbyFaction is now a trending Hashtag on Twitter, and the Faction is using that to help support the #SaveOFMD and #AdoptOurCrew effort as well as spread positivity and love around Rhys Darby works. There's even a discord server if you're interested in joining: https://discord.gg/r7db78j4 There's been talks of putting together some events for a Cryptid Scavenger hunt, but in general it's just a small safe space to try and promote little guys and support the ofmd renewal effort. You don't need to join the discord to be part of the crew, just use #RhysDarbyFaction and be a polite menace/positive force!

== We're Wolves ==

So according to the #WellingtonParanormalPodcast's tiktok, it sounds like Jermaine is finally in talks for writing "We're Wolves"! A sequel to the 2014 What We Do In the Shadows movie. I know we've all been in a Vianton mood since that one Rhys Cameo, so just wanted to make sure you'd heard if you hadn't! SRC: Tiktok

== Fan Spotlight! ==

Getting close to the end of the month so gotta catch up! More collages from our friend @wnderngnomad on Twitter!

Day 23: The Cinematography

Day 4: Nat Faxon

Day 5: Vico Ortiz

Day 6: Leslie Jones

== Podcasts / Youtube Vids ==

Speaking of podcasts, checkout some podcasts from our fandom!

= Citizen Dame =

First up! @celluloidbroomcloset, has a podcast that’s called Citizen Dame. While it doesn't specifically discuss OFMD in this episode, they do discuss Taika, and you all know how much we love that man. So give it a listen and support a fellow crew-mate! Podbean Link / Patreon / Spotify

= Never Left Podcast =

Another fan-podcast I'd like to add tonight is Never Left! More podcasts and discussions on all things OFMD -- give them a listen if you feel up for it! "Welcome aboard our Safe Space Ship! Your Co-Captains, Ariana Perry and Amanda Catron, will be hosting this completely spoiled, totally unofficial, deep dive into Our Flag Means Death." Podbay / Linktr.ee

== Movies With Marty ==

Marty has a new First Watch video out! If you haven't watched Marty's vids yet, feel free to check them out! He's a hoot and is a HUGE supporter of OFMD!

== Articles ==

What to watch on Netflix and BBC this weekend?

Keeping promises of queer representation

== Love Notes ==

Today has been a long day lovelies, and I'm out of spoons so I'm gonna take a night off from writing out love notes and spread some from someone else. Just know I'm very proud of you for everything you did today, I hope you're doing well and feeling safe. <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Idk if these really go together tonight, but here we go. Both of them were on tenor with no srcs? Sorry! Hope you all enjoy!

[tmntstorycomp]

A Coming Out Story?

An old pride piece that was a discord server exclusive for our pride event lol

Massy stared at the rainbow flags that were thrown across the floor, but mixed within them? A plethora of various other identities. He pulled his legs up onto the couch, leaning against the arm with a huff as he narrowed his gaze. 

It was that time of year again. When Leo would throw his flags everywhere and declare it was Pride month again. And Massy hated it. 

Everyone had a set identity, everyone knew who they were. And in a way, Massy felt like he was supposed to know as well. 

With a huff, his face became half buried within his crossed arms. He kicked a flag off of the couch, but his gaze shifted when a large green hand caught it. 

“Hey, you watch out where you’re kicking stuff. Leo will throw a fit if you’re caught disrespecting the trans flag,” Raph laughed, carefully setting the flag down on the coffee table. 

“Who cares what Nardo believes? If he didn’t want things getting stepped on, or broken, he wouldn’t have left them laying around the floor like this. Honestly, it’s almost more disrespectful.” Donnie spoke as they walked past Raph, tapping away at their screen. Massy had half a mind to ask what Donnie was up to, to distract himself from the mess that is the living room.

But he caught sight of the two magnets attached to the metal shell that the softshell wore and he kept his mouth shut. A white, purple, and gray flag with a black triangle was mounted right above one that was purely yellow, white, purple, and black. 

“Come on, Donnie. You know Leo is just excited.” Raph elbowed his brother lightly, causing the nerdy one to scoff. 

“I would prefer his excitement-”

“What about my excitement?” 

A portal opened and Leo came through it, dumping another box of flags onto the floor with a big grin. This time, it was purely green and blue flags. Massy remembered them distinctly as the MLM flag. Leo claimed that it was the best one, Massy wasn’t so sure. 

“I think you’re making a mess of our home,” Donnie bit out. 

“And I think someone isn’t in the pride spirit.” Leo teased as he plucked up a rainbow flag from the ground and tucked it against Donnie’s goggles as the purple turtle glared at him. 

“You have thirty seconds to run before this becomes a hate crime.”

Leo’s eyes went wide, but his grin only seemed to grow as he turned on his heel and sped out of the living room. Donnie watched their phone, counting down the seconds before they chased after him. This left Massy with the largest turtle.

“.. You look sad, Mass. What’s going on?” Raph asked as he moved to sit on the couch next to the boy. 

Massy huffed, tapping against the fabric of the couch before he sat up, moving to face the large snapper. 

“Everyone has themselves figured out. They get to celebrate who they are and be happy about it. And I’m not.” Massy complained, glancing back down at the array of flags that seemed to stare at him like starter pokemon. 

“Oh! Well.. Maybe you should start with identifying what you like? I mean.. Do you like girls?” Raph asked. 

And Massy paused, because that was a loaded question. He thought girls can be pretty, and certainly he has found himself swooning over some of the female characters in cartoons he watched as a kid, but he wasn’t sure. So, he answered with a shrug. 

“Okay.. Do you like boys?”

And again, the same response. He didn’t know. He certainly wasn’t opposed to boys. He saw a lot of attractive males in the world. But he didn’t know. 

“This is.. Tougher than I thought.” Raph admitted, laughing awkwardly as Massy’s eyes narrowed in on him. 

“Maybe you’re bisexual? Or pansexual? I mean, if you kind of like both boys and girls, surely you would be in one of those categories?” Raph offered, and Massy mulled them over for a bit. 

He knew what they meant. Though he would admit, the difference between the two was still confusing in his mind. But… Maybe he was? Afterall, he didn’t have a particular interest in either gender. Just.. Interest. So.. Bi/Pan Massy. That was the answer. It had to be… But if it were, why did it still feel so off. 

“I’m not sure that’s-”

A loud crash came from the kitchen and Raph was on his feet in a moment, making his way over to the doorway to peer inside. Massy hopped up, following the large turtle. He managed to squeeze his way past Raph in order to see what had happened. 

An entire shelf had been knocked over in some kind of struggle, Leonardo was soaked from head to toe. Donnie had him pinned down to the tile with the rainbow flag stick being jabbed into the knot on Leo’s mask. 

“Stop! That one doesn’t fit my aesthetic!” Leo shouted, but Donnie just kept at it. 

“Donnie! Come on, get off him,” Raph instructed as he made his way over. He grabbed Donnie by the shell and hauled them up. But Donnie’s hands gripped Leo’s mask and pulled the slider up as well. 

“Hey! Won’t you- Oh hey, squirt,” 

Leo seemed to focus in on Massy standing in the doorway. The preteen started to laugh, watching the awkward display that the older turtles had found themselves in. Leo reached up and pinched Donnie’s hand, who released their grasp with a squawk. 

“Leo, come help me clean this up!” Donnie shouted, but Leo rolled out of Raph’s grasp and scooped Massy up into his arms. 

“Sorry, gentleman. I have favorite duties to attend to.�� Leo spoke, sticking his tongue out. Massy laughed more, laying his head on Leo’s shoulder as the hero made his way to the dojo. 

Massy seemed to perk up more, he always enjoyed watching Leo train. He wanted to be a ninja too, but he was always told he was too young. It felt ridiculous, especially knowing that he was currently the same age Mikey was when he started fighting. 

But as they made it to the dojo, Leo set Massy down on one of the mats and moved to sit next to him. The slider sat cross legged, hands folded in his lap as his eyes closed and-

“Nooo, wait. Meditating is so lame, come on, slice something,” Massy complained, falling dramatically back onto the mat. 

Leo laughed, peeking one eye open to look down at Massy.

“Meditating is an excellent way to find yourself, troublemaker. It centers you, keeps you focused. I would argue that it’s actually the coolest form of training that we were taught by our father.” Leo noted, straightening his back some. 

“You’re just feeling lazy,”

“That’s irrelevant.”

Massy huffed, moving to sit cross legged next to Leo, hands folded in his own lap. He looked over Leo for just a moment before letting his eyes close as well. 

But he didn’t see anything. No, he had no idea how to find himself. He had no idea where he was. Everything still felt like a confusing whirlpool of different words and phrases that didn’t feel right at all. 

But maybe starting out with sexuality wasn’t the best way to start. Afterall, how can you determine who you like if you don’t even know who you are yet?

“.. How did you know you were trans?” Massy asked the quiet of the room. 

“Mostly clerical error,” 

“Leo..”

“Okay! Okay. It just.. Is a feeling. You feel a certain way in your heart and sometimes it matches your sex and sometimes it doesn’t. For me, it didn’t match. I do not match biology.. But I am still me. And there is nothing that is going to change me.” Leo explained. 

Massy opened his eyes to find the older turtle smiling down at him. Massy tries to examine himself in that light. 

“I.. Don’t know if I match.” Massy responded. His body wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, not in the way he knew Leo to complain sometimes. But, it did feel like he was struggling to fit into it. Pieces didn’t always line up in his puzzle. Like he was trying to fit two separate pictures together. It just.. Didn’t seem to make sense to him. 

Leo grinned, lightly smacking the kid on the shell before pulling out the all too familiar blue, pink, and white flag. Massy let the flag fall into his hands and he stared at it, eyebrows coming together. 

“Then congratulations, you’re trans,” Leo spoke definitively before pulling out his sword and swinging a circle around Massy. “Now get out of here, you’re disturbing my meditation,” 

Leo’s laugh echoed as Massy fell through the portal and the kid tucked himself into his shell. He tumbled against a hard floor, skidding against it for a moment before poking his head back out. Everything was purple and dark, leading Massy to know exactly where he had landed. 

He pushed himself up to his feet and stared at the flag still in his hands. Definition wise, Leo had to be right. If he wasn’t cis, he was trans. In some way, shape or form, because he didn’t identify fully with being a boy. Right? Right??? Massy didn’t know. And he dropped the flag to the floor as he started to walk his way to where he could hear the clacking of a keyboard and angered mumblings. 

“This is why I hate this month, there is no such thing as subtlety anymore…” Donnie muttered from their spot in their chair, lounged back and glaring at their large screen. 

Massy paused for a moment, but then glanced back at the flag that was almost consumed by darkness. He should pick it up, lest Leo get blamed for something he didn’t do. 

“Masaccio, I see you’ve been deposited in my lair,”

Massy turned back to Donnie but the purple turtle’s eyes were still glued to the screen. Massy forwent the flag and made his way over to the desk, grabbing the smaller chair that he had helped design personally for himself.

“Leo said I was ruining his focus,”

“Ha. That’s rich. I don’t believe that he’s focused ever a day in his life.” Donnie mocked before finally tearing their eyes from the screen to lock onto Massy. 

“Is there anything you need my help with?”

Massy stared at him for a long moment, rocking in the chair before he nodded his head. Donnie’s eyebrows shot up for a moment but they turned themselves to face Massy, gesturing for him to continue. 

“.. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who I like, I don’t even know if I actually like people,” Massy rambled out, crossing his arms over his chest. And Donnie seemed mostly uninterested with the concept at hand. 

“Sexuality is.. Complicated. But for the most part, irrelevant. You will find someone you want to click with. I mean, look at me. I don’t find many people fascinating. But, I have had a very select number of partners. Maybe, you just want to connect with someone before you like them. There’s no shame in being demi.” Donnie instructed, holding one of their fingers up. 

“So.. I could just like people I’m attached to?” Massy asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Absolutely! After all, isn’t that what any relationship is? You don’t particularly care for anyone, but then you get to know them and they become important to you. That’s how that works.” Donnie waved their hand around, and Massy extended his legs out to rest them on Donnie’s armchair. 

“Is.. Is that your stance on gender too?” Massy asked.

“For the most part? Yeah. Obviously, every being is different and one’s gender won’t fit the mold for other people’s gender. It’s statistically impossible. But, at the end of the day, being one hundred percent masculine or feminine is.. Not possible. You can definitely lean, and most people do. That’s how you form the gender binary. But it’s a scale between the two ends and sometimes you find yourself not even on the scale. I actually made this chart that describes gender as more a plane than a spectrum if you want to see-”

“No thanks! I uh.. I think I get the picture,” Massy cut them off as he pulled his legs back and moved to stand up from his chair. The young turtle quickly pushed his chair in, starting to walk away from the genius with his head still spiraling. 

“Sure! Just leave before I can go on my detailed exploration of gender and society!” Donnie called after the younger turtle. 

Massy just picked up his pace, starting the trek back to his room to attempt to process all that he just learned in such a short timespan. His hands came up to his head as if that would stabilize anything, but it wasn’t much help. 

“Hey Massy- Massy?”

Massy kept walking to his room, not caring much that Mikey had just gotten home and was on his heel. 

“Hey, kid, what’s going on with you?” Mikey asked, but their voice was laced with far more concern than it was joy. Massy whined as he collapsed onto his bed, grabbing his blanket to wrap himself up with. 

Mikey was instantly concerned as he moved closer to sit on Massy’s bed. 

“Come here, kiddo. Tell me all about it,” Mikey offered, holding his arms out. Massy peeked out from his blanket hiding spot, tears already filling his eyes. But he moved quickly, pressing himself into Mikey’s side and letting the orange turtle’s arms wrap around him. 

“What’s wrong, hun? Did something happen?” Mikey asked.

“I.. I tried to figure myself out so I could actually participate in pride this year. You guys have so much fun and I.. I just don’t know myself. I want to know myself but I don’t. Raph says that I’m likely bisexual or pansexual because I don’t have a preference between genders. Leo says that I’m trans because I don’t feel like my sex matches me fully. Donnie says that I could be demisexual if I don’t have a preference but then he also said that gender is-”

“Gender is a plane?”

“YES! And now I don’t know! Because nothing feels right, but nothing…” Massy chokes on his tears for a moment, pressing his face into Mikey’s plastron as the older turtle rubs his shell. 

“Oh, baby.. It doesn’t matter what or who you are,” Mikey offers, pressing a light kiss to the top of Massy’s head. The darker turtle looks up at him, “How does it not?”

“Well, first of all, you’re thirteen. You aren’t supposed to know who you are yet. You haven’t lived enough yet. Sure, people figure themselves out at any age. But there is absolutely no shame in not knowing anything. You have an entire lifetime,” Mikey offered, wiping away Massy’s tears carefully with his thumb. 

“And? You may never know. You may just like what you like, feel how you feel. Labels are an easy way to describe and connect to others, but they aren’t required for you to feel prideful and proud of who you are. You are so many wonderful thing, Masaccio, you don’t have to put a label on it,” 

Massy stared up at Mikey and he nodded slowly, and finally, that felt right. 

“I don’t need a label,” Massy states, and his voice is filled with more confidence than it had been before. 

“You don’t need a label,” Mikey responds. 

Massy, filled with relief, turns to deadweight in Mikey’s arms. He huffed softly, cuddling into his side while Mikey kept rubbing his shell. 

“I would still enjoy a pride flag…” Massy muttered, which caused Mikey to laugh.

“Luckily, you have one,”

By the end of the day, Massy had his own little flag hanging in the living room with all the others. This one was lighter, but it was perfect. 

Green, white, blue, and orange. 

Massy felt it very fitting.

[jennifriend]

Dear OFMD,

I wasn’t sure who to address this to, at first. There are so many options, so many people instrumental in the creation of this show that means so much to me and so many others. David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, Vico Ortiz, Alex Sherman, and the rest of the producers, directors, writers, cast and crew. I did try to list out everyone, but it took up the whole first page. My social media follows exploded when I began watching.

The thing is, I’ve never quite been comfortable in my skin. I knew something was off about my gender as early as 8, possibly earlier, but eight is when I remember actually thinking that I wasn’t a girl for the first time.

I wasn’t a boy, either, but it was the eighties, and I didn’t know the term non-binary, or that gender was as much a brain thing as a body thing. So I shoved it down, along with the thought that the kids at my school should hurry up and learn the lessons already so we could go onto the next thing and that I hated wearing dresses, except when I loved it.

And then, I just . . . didn’t think about gender for a long time. Not when trans people were the butt of all the jokes in the movies in the nineties, not when trans stories, real trans stories started getting told in the aughts.

Someone gave me the word agender, once, when I was curious and asked what might describe someone who felt neither man nor woman, and never had, and I went with that. I still go with that, or enby, whichever I’m comfortable with in the moment. I was forty. Thirty-two years of not even knowing I was looking for that word, and I was.

And then a year or so later, someone talked me into watching Our Flag Means Death. 

I write. I’ve published. When you send a story out, you never know what other people are going to think of it, what symbolism they’re going to find, how they’re going to interpret this thing or that thing. So I don’t know if you realized when you finished filming the first season and sent it for edits, or finished the second season and watched us foam at the mouth for it, how the fans were going to react. 

There are a lot more of us out in the world that don’t feel quite right in whatever gender box we’ve been put in than anyone realizes, I think. And I think a lot of us gender-weirdos are fans of this show.

It’s not just Stede, and his love for fine things. It’s Ed, with his hidden silk, and his softly admitting to “maybe” liking “a fine fabric.” It’s not just Jim being outed, and everyone going right back to normal after they figure out that that’s what Jim wants. It’s not even just Wee John’s wonderful performance as Calypso.

It’s also Wee John sitting down to sew and saying he used to sew dresses with his mom. It’s calling Izzy the ship’s “new unicorn” and it’s also Izzy wearing make up. It’s everyone wearing flowers. 

It’s Spanish Jackie having nineteen husbands, and maybe some wives.

It’s a meme of any of the characters that’s just a screenshot and the word “gender” written across it.

It’s the concept of “assigned knives at birth” 

And it’s the community that this show created to let us feel free to explore all of this. We can bounce ideas off of each other, we can explore new identities, and you - the cast, the crew, the writers of this show - you have given us a safe space to do so.

I’ve been on the outskirts of a lot of fan spaces. I’ve never wanted to step into them because at their core, they seemed so toxic and gatekept. I’ve never felt that from the fans here (we’re not perfect, and there are a lot of very angry arguments over things that I hope you never see).

So yeah, this is my love letter to Our Flag Means Death, the show that helped me figure out, at forty-three, that my gender is, well, me. And it doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s label.

Thank you for creating it.

Thank you for writing it.

Thank you for acting in it.

Jenn

[symphonic-scream]

The Phantom Queers Notes

Thanks to the ever patient Cap for putting up with me gushing about them nonstop! Love you cap

Anyways. Ahem.

Firstly; the Noir's mural. I said it was based off of official art from Mementos Mission? Yeah so I wanted to add that image to this post so anyone who hasn't seen it can see it and know what I meant

So it's like this. But with more vines.

And now onto the notes

Haru's dad slowly adapting to his daughter being with someone like Makoto and just,

Okumura: invite your wife to our next brunch. I'm ready to have a meal with the person who makes you glow

Haru: are you ready for that? Neither of us want to push you

Okumura: I'm ready. I love you, and you love her so much. It's about time I let you show me such

This is after like. Eight years of him knowing Makoto. There were some very awkward talks in the beginning but mans did his research! He knows how to be respectful!

He even frames a photo of their little family and keeps it on his desk, with little trans and lesbian flag stickers in the corners. He updates it every year as his grandsons grow older

(THATS RIGHT I HAVE MORE ABOUT THE SONS YOULL GET TO LEARN ABOUT THEM)

Teenage Makoto and Haru going to see a spy movie as their first date as girlfriends, Makoto nervous because sure Haru knows she's trans already, but what if-

They end up making out halfway through in the back of the theatre.

Haru: this was lovely! We should go on some more dates, yes?

Makoto: y-yeah! That would be very nice,

And Haru gives her a goodbye kiss, a full one right out in the middle of the street, waving her fingers with a little wink as she gets on her train, Makoto just standing there watching her new girlfriend walk away with her heart beating out of her chest

Their first place together is a dorm at university. They push the beds together to make a double, though they sleep so closely they'd only need a single. Little flags on the bag of the door, little polaroids from dates and hangouts with their new friends on a wall, the way Makoto's study space is sparse, with clicky pens and things to safely chew on, and Haru's having plants and life and so many colours-

Makoto finding out Haru's actually pregnant and just. She's so relieved. She didn't ruin it all for her love,

But Haru would've been so happy either way, even if their kid didn't have Makoto's eyes or, like their second and third, her rebellion and cute little nose-

Okay gonna lay out the sons real quick! They have three sons; Seiji is their first born, has Makoto's sharp red eyes, Haru's curls, and a general softer shape to him. When he's like middle school age he goes a bit emo, remains into dark colours and music. And he loves to cook! Loves food

Then there's the twins, Kazuto and Hiroto. Dark curls, Haru's softer eyes, but they have that Niijima spark, they look more like Makoto did as a kid. Identical twins too! Pure evil. Menaces. Cunning and with sharp grins, their moms are lucky they aren't into arson

Sae, just barely out of university, now the legal guardian of her little brother and just. Sitting there as this little middle schooler comes out to her, and-

Well. She has to do everything she can for her sister.

Makoto: here, let's look at my childhood photos

Hifumi: you, do that? Look at photos from before you transitioned?

Makoto: it's different for everyone. I'm fine with it, I know Yusuke has a select few saved, Futaba doesn't like it for other reasons-

Makoto: I did change my name though. We have nothing that remains with my dead name on it. That is where I draw my boundaries. I cannot handle hearing it on my worst days

Hifumi: I see

Makoto: it wasn't me. And while I'm not as feminine as you or Haru, I'm still a woman

Hifumi: I'm starting to make sense of this all, thank you so much

Makoto: that's what family is for, sis

-new note-

Haru: if you want to discuss, hm, reassignment procedures, with someone, I know Yusuke is rather open about his. He'll even give you his professional's number

Hifumi: why are you saying it that way?

Haru: Makoto has, a thing with. *Hospitals*. So, I tend to reword those things

-new note-

Makoto: I'll wake up early and make Haru breakfast in bed for our first mother's day, I'll have the little one strapped to my chest nothing can go wrong!

Hifumi: what happened to you

Makoto, sitting on the kitchen floor covered in flour and butter, her infant son playing with Johanna on the couch: I tried to cook with a baby. Help me please

Hifumi entertains the baby while Makoto makes a plate of scones, an omelette, and a little fruit salad for her wife

"I just get so distracted when he's with me. I lost all focus"

"yeah but the flour?"

"I was measuring it. Saw Seiji clap. So, I clapped."

"Ah."

Haru wakes up to her son giggling on Makoto's side of the bed, her wife tracing soft kisses up from her hand

"happy mother's day, baby"

"Happy mother's day, Love"

They both have the day off, and just spend a nice day with their lil guy

Haru: if this is mother's day, I wonder what you'll do for my birthday?

Makoto: ah, well Seiji won't be helping me with those plans. That'll be a very special night out, just us two. After a morning with his plans of course

Haru: I'm so lucky I have you,

Makoto: sjdbskdhxidbdj baby,,

-new note-

Makoto: happy birthday baby

Haru: you, bought that small building between us and the shop next door?

Makoto: let's go inside and you'll see your gift. Full home gym, with a little sauna and hot tub room in the back

Haru: ...not gonna lie Love this looks more like a gift for you

Makoto: did you notice the lounge chairs? This is a private show for you~ I know you hate coming to the gym to watch me, so-

Haru: I LOVE IT

Makoto: you can have a private showing whenever you'd like, baby. All for you

Haru: can we, have a go right now?

Makoto: of course. Are you okay with me working on arms and upper body?

Haru: YES

haru just in her lil lounge chair aggresively sipping water

cause shes thirsty

(green was Cap akfhdj)

Staring at the back muscles

Makoto has to wear a long sleeve shirt to her run with Ryuji the next morning. Normally she runs in the like, sports bra thing. But her arms, back, and abs are. Covered. From Haru enjoying her gift

Haru: I'm gonna kiss every muscle on you

Makoto: oh wow

Ryuji: whyre you wearing a shirt? You hate the sweat cling

Makoto: Haru's birthday yesterday

Ryuji: ...fuck I forgot to get her anything she's gonna kill me- wait. GROSS DUDE DONT TELL ME ABOUT-

Makoto: I DIDNT MAN STOP YELLING

Makoto and Haru at like a parents night for the preschool Seiji goes to just trying to ignore the straight gossip going around all around them

One couple: hehe we're trying to give her a sibling, trying for a baby is soooo much work

Makoto: ...they're just openly admitting they fu-

Haru: shh, Love. I know. Don't get too stressed though, you have to be in good health for our appointment tomorrow.

Makoto: think we should tell people we're also trying? But heavily imply we're just fu-

Haru: yes. Absolutely. Put your hand in my back pocket, I'll leave a little mark on your neck-

Makoto excitedly explains this at the appointment they go to the next morning, she's had to take those. Relax pills before so she's a lil loopy, and Haru just smiles so tenderly as they run the tests on her wife. She loves their little family,, so glad the medical field has a way for them to have kids (I'm making shit up idk man. Au magic this world made it possible I don't wanna think about it too hard)

Makoto: ...do you also find it weird we only have sons

Haru: shh don't think Love. Happy moment, no gender thoughts. Hold one of the twins, be mesmerized by the baby

Haru adores her wife and their sons so much. Even if their oldest turns emo and the twins are feral demons

Akira: when I first met you two you were getting the drunkest out of the group at every night out, dancing all over each other- I'm pretty sure you two were making out more than you weren't

Makoto: I remember our uni days, ha

Haru: mm, good times

Ann: you guys were. All over each other then

Haru: it was our first time getting to be open about us! It was exciting.

Makoto: we're just as all over each other now, we just know how to close doors

Ryuji: and DONT ACT LIKE YOU AND SHIHO DONT JUST MAKE OUT ON THE COUCH

Ann, three drinks in: you think that's all we do on that couch?

Yusuke: ...I think we need to sober her up before my roommates kill each other

Akechi, already grabbing the hose: on it

Ann and Ryuji, very wet the next minute:

Akechi: problem solved. Hey, lesbians. If you get too handsy you're getting sprayed next

Haru holds her hands up in the "don't shoot" position

Hifumi just sits to the side and drinks with Futaba, watching them all

Futaba: you want to stay on our couch tonight? Going home with Mrs and Mrs "Horny Drunk" won't lead to good things for your mental health

Hifumi: ...please tell me you're not speaking from experience

Futaba: me? No. Goro? Oh yes. Watching him be unable to look at either of them for four months was hilarious

Hifumi makes it back home around noon and notices only Makoto is in the house space

Hifumi: hey, where's Haru?

Makoto: hm? Oh, she's working downstairs. Want some tea? I can make you a plate of eggs?

Hifumi: Haru out drank everyone, how is she functioning?

Makoto: she's somehow immune to the hangover. Nah, I'm kidding. She drank water between every drink. Then it was the Gatorade and coffee mix, with a plate of my "Hangover Eggs". Neither of us have ever had a rough morning. Not since the first month of uni

Hifumi: ...I'll take a plate of the eggs, please

The day Haru finds out she's pregnant is. One of the best days in their household

She and Makoto had been having monthly appointments with their doctor over the last year, and. She'd felt off since the week after the last one but- she thought takin the test was wishful thinking

But the eight tests all read positive and- man she's gotta think of a way to tell Makoto

Before she gets a chance some dude tries to rob Noir's, barely nicks her with his knife but she goes to the hospital as a precaution cause tetanus

Makoto gets a call from one of the workers telling her her wife is at the hospital, they were robbed, and she gets there and is so relieved to see Haru looking alright, just some bandages around her arm, and Haru just Smiles

Eventually a doctor comes in to give Haru the all clear, but he pauses before they leave like: oh, and we did check. You're coming along just fine

Makoto: what does that mean?

Doctor: the pregnancy. Ms Okumura is early on, but all is going well

Makoto: ...it worked? Youre-

Haru: surprise?

Makoto is excitedly telling everyone for the next few months. Sure Haru was the one who wanted children more of the two, but that doesn't mean Makoto didn't want this. Her wife is pregnant! They're having a kid! And by some miracle, it's their kid

Ann: wait. How

Yusuke: but. You're on estrogen? There should be no way-

Ryuji: GROSS YOU GUYS DID IT?!

Shiho: ...Ryuji, stay on point here

Haru: science

Makoto: lesbian magic

Goro: I'm not watching your little spawn

Akira: dibs on godfather!

Futaba: in surprised you kept it a secret this long. Both of you suck at secrets

Makoto: no we don't

Haru: ...love you accidentally told me you were going to propose three days before you did it

They're much more open when they decide to go for a second kid, mostly because they're more convinced it'll work this time

Ryuji: gross

Ann: we already went over this. Science baby. Not like with straight people

Ryuji: but still

Makoto: you've known us for like ten years. How are you still like this

Ryuji: IDK YOU GUYS ARE LIKE THE PSEUDO MOMS I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT YALL FUCKING

Makoto: so stop thinking about it?

Ryuji: ...oh.

Ann: DUDE SERIOUSLY

Then there's a bit about Ann and Shiho, how they decide to have a donor baby, and. End up with Triplets. Two daughters; Asami, Nikko. And then a son, Tsukito

Makoto: Seiji, turn off the TV, go play with the trio

Seiji: but mom, they're playing field hospital again. They're gonna make me the patient

Makoto: buddy, sometimes we have to make sacrifices. You and I will have a day to ourselves if you do it, okay?

Seiji: can we go to the farmers market?

Makoto: uh sure

Seiji has the red eyes but the twins are pure evil

Makoto: Kazu, Hiro, how did you get up there

The twins, literally on the roof: climbed

The twins have the like innocent Haru smile. Devious

There's cunning behind those eyes. They have the Niijima mind

Kazu: mom I don't feel good

Makoto: oh no, what happened- ...why is there a pencil in your arm

Hiro: hi mom

Makoto: ...both of you. What happened. Why are there pencils in your arms

Kazu and Hiro: we wanted to see if we could stab each other hard enough

Makoto: get in the car we're going to the hospital

Kazu: we're going on a hunger strike

Hiro: we want the bigger room. There's two of us

Seiji: I'm older. Nice try.

Kazu: we will make you give in

Hiro: I'm studying up on CIA torture tactics

Kazu: we both take martial arts. You will give us the room

Seiji: oh yeah? You think I won't survive? Try me

Makoto: baby the boys are waging war

Haru: eh, they're tire each other out. Feel up for a workout?

Makoto: HARU WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Haru, who was working the shop downstairs: Love? What's wrong

Makoto: I lost the babies

Haru: ...what

Makoto: I didn't think they'd figure out how to open the door i- baby the babies fucking got out-

Seiji: they're under the couch they just opened it and went under the couch

Makoto: what did we do to deserve this

Haru: I mean, we did fuck at a party and break the urn with someone's grandmother's ash's in uni

Makoto: oh yeah. And then we blamed Goro

Uni Makoto and Haru are just. A different breed. Them in high school was sweet, them after is domestic with a hint of spice, but. The in between.

They all go to the grand opening of Noir and. Just stare at how normal the two are

Ann: no visible hickies... It's a miracle

Akira: I can't believe it. They've been tamed

Haru: hi darling, think you'll lie on your stomach for me?

Makoto: ngh, wait, its-

Haru: don't think about it. We'll get your shot over with quick, and then we can have the day in bed. I promise. We took today off for a reason

Makoto: nooo I don't want it,

Haru: you're just saying that, you love you. You won't be the you you worked so hard for if you weren't brave enough for a little shot

Makoto: ...will it be quick?

Haru: I'll even numb the area with ice

Makoto: and we can kiss all day?

Haru: whatever you want

Makoto: fine. Give me the e,

Haru: you call me baby and yet,

Makoto: OW

Haru: that's the ice, Love

Haru: there, all done.

Makoto: did you use the

Haru: yes, I used the Buchimaru band aid

Makoto: I love you so much

Haru: I love you too

Makoto: kiss time?

Haru: I suppose~

Makoto later on: hey, thanks for not listening. I'm already feeling better

Haru: I know darling, it's hard to stab you sometimes but I know it's what makes my girl happiest

Makoto: mm,

Sae: since you two are going to be rooming together when you go off to uni, it's time I passed on the torch

Haru: oh?

Sae: Makoto is a coward about her hormone shots. No matter how much she says she doesn't want it, she does. Unless she has a serious conversation about detransitioning on a non shot day, don't listen. Give her a lollipop or something, anything else to focus on. She does best lying down. She can't kick you if you sit on her calves-

Haru: i- have you been doing this all this time?

Sae: yes. And now we will have the awkward experience of me helping you give her the shot. It'll be weird. But it'll be your responsibility as her partner

Haru: I'm ready, Chief

Makoto: hey, sis- Haru? Wait, no

Sae: yes. Pants off. Lie down.

Makoto: NO WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND I WANNA BE A GUY

Haru: will you lie down for me my Love?

Makoto: ...uh yeah

Sae: pants.

Makoto: bite me.

Sae: Makoto, you know this is what's best for you

Makoto: lies

Haru: I'll hold your hand if that helps? And give you a kiss after for being so brave?

Makoto: you're much more convincing than sis

Sae: alright Haru, that's it. You did it, congrats

Makoto: I'm dead. You killed me

Haru: you're rather attractive for a corpse

Sae: I'm leaving now. I'll bring home dinner. Don't do anything stupid

Hifumi: oh I do my own shots

Haru: my wife is just a big baby about them, and I mean that affectionately

Makoto: yeah I. Don't do well with anything of that sort

Haru: our fertility appointments are. Very planned. She takes one of those relaxation pills before we go

Makoto: it's tough but it's worth it for the chance to give Haru anything she desires

Makoto is the most doting wife while Haru is pregnant. Foot rubs, vitamins, skin creams and talking to their son every day

"today your mama gave your mom her shot. That's right, your mama shot me"

"Makoto-"

"just kidding kid. She helped me feel more like myself, and I love her so much. You've got the best mama ever"

"They have the best mom too"

Haru: ...Makoto?

Makoto: it's 2 am,, what is it baby?

Haru: I want. Cold soba noodles

Makoto: easy enough,

Haru: covered in chocolate

Makoto: ...

Slow dancing in the kitchen, Makoto behind Haru, hands entwined over Haru's dark apron, heads leaned together

Makoto: a night to ourselves,

Haru: Hifumi moved out a year ago, and the kids are staying at the Quad,, so it's just us

Makoto: shall we treat ourselves? I can make you steak? Break out the good wine? We can have a nice bath, turn in early for some, us time

Haru: can you make baked potato with the steak?

Makoto: anything for you

Haru: carry me to bed later?

Makoto: of course

Buff Makoto and her pudgy baker wife, And their emo chef son and two demon spawns

Thinking back to scared little high school Makoto, more scrawny than anything, and petite Haru seated beside her, their pinkies barely entwined, both blushing and looking away

To Uni them, with Makoto playing rugby recreationally and Haru being very much a fan of that, them making out and boinking literally anywhere possible, somehow like top of their classes while still going all out for the fun side of things

Makoto being very awkward with Haru's dad.

Kunikazu: so. You are. Transgender?

Makoto: yep.

Kunikazu: you want to be, a boy?

Makoto: w-wrong direction, sir

Haru: you can't do anything, father. I love her.

Kunikazu: I see

Makoto: ...can I go home? And hire a bodyguard?

Kunikazu: I suppose you two can live together. Just. I do not want a surprise grandchild

Haru: that's not even possible

Makoto: yeah I'm leaving

Haru: father and I will be having monthly brunch

Makoto: oh, joy,

Haru: just us. You're not invited

Makoto: ...did he-

Haru: I uninvited you

Makoto: I love you so much

Haru: no marks, I'm seeing my dad tomorrow! Makoto-

Makoto: but baby,

Haru: ...no visible marks at least

Makoto: ...fuck I forgot the rule

Haru: it's, well. I didn't try to stop you,

Makoto: your dad is gonna murder me

Haru: he won't, he likes you, he's just. Still in his learning phase

Makoto: yeah but you're gonna walk in tomorrow looking like a dalmatian

Haru inventing the Gatorade coffee in university after a night of. Heavy drinking with her girlfriend. Waking up and feeling like death itself and just. Trying to make coffee but she's barely looking and brews it with. Gatorade instead of water

Haru: I know you spoke to Yusuke, but Makoto gave me permission to tell you about her surgery experience

Hifumi: oh?

Haru: she had top, which I'm sure you've noticed by now. She likes to ditch the shirt more than usual

Hifumi: yes

Haru: but she had such a horrible time recovering she cancelled for bottom and just. Never got it

Hifumi: oh. And she's okay with that?

Haru: it works for her. Makoto's never been, violently dysphoric about her body. Not since I met her. Her voice was one thing, but now she's at her best

Hifumi: thank you for sharing, and tell her thanks too

Haru: of course! And let me know if you need someone for care afterwards or to drive you to and from

Haru dealing with miserable Makoto post op from top and just

Haru: my poor girl,

Makoto: I'm dying,,

Makoto: but at least I'll die with boobs,

Haru: okay let's give you some more pain meds, HEY DONT TOUCH, MAKOTO-

Makoto: ow,,,

Makoto: I just wanted to feel,

Haru: I know you and your hands, but give it some recovery time, please

Sae walking into Makoto's room during their first sleepover in high school and just. Seeing the two all curled up, the content looks on their faces, She sees Makoto stir and the minor look of horror on her face at getting caught by her sister but, Sae just smiles, whispers a loud goodnight, and turns back

Haru nuzzles closer, and Makoto just. Smiles.

Them watching Seiji in a school play and just trying not to fight the group of mom's at the back of the room who are chatting

Makoto: the disrespect-

Haru: Love his line is coming up, make sure the camera is on!

Makoto: wait, shit, where did the twins go?

Haru: ...we can worry about bailing them out later

Surprisingly that's it?? But one last joke Cap made that I felt I needed to share

"of course Makoto's trans her Persona is a Transformer"

[ask-obt]

What’s the current orientations for all cast members? More importantly is Requiem Nonbinary?

// starting with our main girl Rune, she's bi! though bi and pansexuality have pretty similar definitions (and also nothing concrete), my personal definition of it that bisexuality has a preference for one gender over others. in Rune's case, she prefers girls!

next up we have Malachi, who is straight/questioning. he's only ever had one crush to go off of, so it's subject to change in the future! Maelstrom, meanwhile, is a lesbian. but it's hard to flirt with girls while Malachi is sitting there withering away, so she's holding out for getting a physical form so she can do so more effectively.

Dielle is a lesbian! and very much so.

Inigo is trans and on the ace spectrum! He hasn't ever experienced a crush of his own, though he likes to read slow burn romance plots. The slower the burn, the better.

Yohann is gay! He frequents the local matchmaker board for fun flings.

And speaking of gay, Keaton and Julius are also gay! Or at least, that was my initial thought. After thinking about it some more I think Julius could possibly be bi with a preference for men- but we'll see how that shakes out!

Then we have the Guildmaster, who is genderfluid (male-presenting for I expect the entire duration of OBT's main story) and pan! He has a long list of exes, but he gets along well with all of them. He's wearing the trans flag colors in this image because I thought they were cuter with his ensemble and since he'd probably be fine with it as an umbrella identity, haha

And finally, we have the requested Requiem! They consider themselves a Demigirl, and are fine with she/her and they/them pronouns. You can use whichever tickles your fancy!

And since you read on this far, I can confirm we've got some nonbinary rep coming soon!

[mothrite]

Wandering gaze

SUMMERY: Adrian has always been a bit salty but it feels like with you he intentionally tries not to say anything nice. You finally confront him.

WARNINGS: fluff, reader is plant coven head because Terra got fired (I hate her sm.), afab+Enby reader, trans Adrian!!

A/N: I hate how this came out help 😿

“And now, y/n l/n as the next head of the plant coven!”

You swiftly removed your hood, staring into the camera with the same bright smile you had as the moment you received the news.

“Thank you so much for this opportunity! Im thrilled to be working with such high powered witches, it’s truly an honor.”

You sighed, your smile softening as the camera turned off and you turned to look at all your fellow coven heads. Most started to file out but a few remained, including the heads of the bard and abomination covens and the head of the Illusionist coven as well. You made your way over to the illusionist as the other two were indulged in their own conversation.

“It’s a pleasure to be working with you Mr…?” You trailed off, hoping for him to complete the sentence as you hadn’t been informed of his name. He looked you up and down before rolling his eyes and setting his hands at his hips.

“Graye. It’s Adrian Graye Vernworth.” Before you could respond he had already started walking away. With a confused expression you stepped over to the other two coven heads who were finishing up their conversation. The one with glasses and mint hair smiled and reached out their hand to greet you.

“Glad to have you on the team! Im Raine, and this is Darius” After introducing yourself the three of you made small talk, eventually these two would grow to become your best friends.

A few months had passed and over the time Adrian continued to be sour towards you. He distanced himself, ignoring you. It angered you. Infuriated you. Everyone else was kind and open with you while he was somewhat hostile.

You had enough. The Emperor had to leave, causing the meeting to be cut short. Everyone was gone and just as Adrian was leaving you gently grasped his arm. “Wait!”

He looked at you, his face twisting in confusion. You let go of his arm as he turned around to look at you. His foot tapped against the ground, trying to get out of the too small room as fast as possible.

“What do you want.”

“Why do you hate me.” You bluntly let out the truth. You noticed as his eyes widened slightly and his mouth clicked shut.

“Excuse me?” He said, a nervous smile painting his face as he let out soft giggle of anxiousness.

You repeated the question. “Why do you hate me.”

His smile dropped and he stood there, the gears in his head churning as he figures out the right words to say.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then why are you always avoiding me? Why do you go out of your way to cut our conversations short?”

He put a hand to your shoulder and smiled as a soft pink dusted his cheeks.

“Because you dazzle me. You make me so nervous I get scared I’ll mess up and a make a fool of myself.”

You stood there, stunned. He quickly covered his mouth with one of his hands and paced away. You stood there for a good few minutes with your thoughts before leaving. So he doesn’t hate you. He thinks you’re amazing. You sat in your room, thinking about what he said.

“Dazzle.”

“I Dazzle him.”

You laid down, looking out the window at the extensive pit of spikes. You thought about him. His face. The way his tail starts to swing back and forth when he gets excited or happy. How he always has a bit of fur on the back of his neck. The cute little pride flags he keeps in his office. Everything about him.

“I think he dazzles me too.”

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry in advance for treating this like ‘Dear Abby’ but I am in need of some advice from a Queer Adult TM…

So, I have this friend who I’ve known for about ten years now. We’re seventeen right now, so let’s just say we went through allllll the phases together. We realized we were queer together, we had our first fandom experiences together (they were actually the person who introduced me to fanfic, which I’m really grateful for, because ever since it has been an integral part of my life), we were DeviantArt furry artists together circa 2016, it was a lot of embarrassing but also fun times. We are also both… and quite mentally ill and it was nice to have someone to help me through the worst bits (when I didn’t have access to therapy or meds) and how I could help them in return.

Lately (maybe over the past 2 years?) we’ve been drifting apart. I think it has a lot to do with the fact we don’t have many common interests anymore (they stopped caring about mine, and stopped sharing theirs with me), but we still do a lot together. They’re my coworker, a member of my ttrpg group, etc. etc.. Due to social anxiety they were my only friend for many years but now I have a few more, so I don’t mind not being as close to them (and I dislike putting the burden of me being reliant/clingy on them). However, they’ve recently been making it harder and harder for me to keep that friendship.

They smoke weed, get shitty stick and pokes, binge energy drinks and shoplift. I don’t have any moral issue with any of those things, but it’s concerning to me because I know they are not in the the right headspace to make those decisions about substances (and the rest). We have both struggled with mental illness, self-harm, and eating disorders. Part of the reason I drifted away from them is because they have no filter and “vent” about their problems to the point where it is very triggering to me (especially in terms of sh and ed). I don’t mind lending an ear but I also have boundaries that I put in place for myself… But yeah, even though they have access to treatment it seems not to be working, or there’s something hindering it. It really hurts to see them in such a bad place because we started out in similar places in regards to our mental health and now that I’m in a better place, they’re not.

I genuinely love and care about this person, but it’s so hard to help them when they shut down every form of help I + the rest of our mutual friends can offer. They’re very manipulative, I would like to think without meaning to, to the point where they twist my words around (for example, recently they did something extremely inappropriate and when I told them I was concerned for their well-being, they said they were sorry for making me “uncomfortable”). They’re also one of those people that plays oppression Olympics, and insists their parents are homophobic and tried to send them to conversion therapy— I know their parents very well, they are literal leftists who have pride flags in their front yard, campaign for politicians that support queer and trans rights, and attend one of the only completely gay-friendly and supporting churches in the area. But the way they talk about them causes other people to dislike them and think they’re homophobic, which they have noticed. I think it’s cruel to them, and also symptomatic of a larger problem that my friend has— they don’t seem to understand that their actions and words have consequences for other people.

I guess what I wanted to ask was: is it worth cutting this person off? I have a feeling that we were naturally grow even farther apart as we go to university, because our values are very different… They’re an anti, I’m not, they have a very surface-level views of politics and believe everything they read in Instagram infographics, I don’t. I don’t consider myself very mature, but they look very immature next to me. Besides, being around them often ends up negatively impacting me as well. However, I worry that cutting them off will makes things worse for them. I don’t want to see them get even more hurt. My confrontations haven’t been doing anything, but maybe they’ll come to their senses eventually.

I really don’t know what to do in this situation, but I’d appreciate any advice from anyone willing to offer it.

--

Since you're about to go off to college, I'd let the friendship naturally fade.

It's not your job to save this person, and I do think you need to get away from them since they don't seem to be making an effort. But since you're naturally drifting away anyway, I don't think having a big, dramatic friend breakup will help anything.

On another note, everyone should have a moral objection to shoplifting. Not only is it dishonest and a sign that something is fucking wrong with you to shoplift, but shoplifters directly hurt retail peons who will get their pay cut as a result of store losses.

People who do this aren't sticking it to the man. They're parasites who hurt other nobodies.

The fact that a lot of teens (American teens?) think this disgraceful behavior is normal enrages me.

[fictionalbasil]

Published my first completed fic! I usually keep editing till I give up but I pushed though

‘Uncle’ Izzy

Izzy’s hidden past gets dragged into light when a mysterious man (trans OC for this fic) visits the Revenge. However it seems like he knows more than just Izzy.

This fic takes place at the end of season 2 episode 5 and definitely branches from canon from there. I wrote this fic plot as if it was a side plot in an episode, mainly following the OC

A small boat approaches straight towards the front of a large ship that has seen better days, what was once beautifully painted deep blue and yellow with the name ‘Revenge’ on the back was now chipped and burned. The creature that had previously adorned the front of the ship was now unrecognizable without its head or legs. A black haired man, except for the pure silver strikes on both sides of his head, dressed in all black with a black leather vest, stands on a small deck behind the defaced figurehead. The man, Izzy Hands, takes a long swig from a large mostly empty alcohol bottle. He is extremely vigilant, as always, even in his current state. Emotional and drunk. He spots the small boat well before it has the chance to get close, he pulls a spyglass out of his pocket, lifts it to his eye which has a red wound healing above it that runs down towards his temple, he lets out a sharp “fuck” as he drops his hands and repockets the spyglass. Instead of killing the person on the boat, he lets them pull up next to the front of the ship. He looks down upon the boat where a shorter younger man, not terribly short but definitely shorter than average, sat. The newly arrived man is a bit fat, holding most of his weight in his belly, butt, and a bit in his hips. His body was shaped like that of a pear with limbs. Izzy talking just loud enough for the man to hear without getting the attention of any of the crew, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

With a warm smile the young man stands up and says, “I’m here to see you, uncle Izzy.”

“Well, piss off,” Izzy spat.

The man drops his smile, taken back, clearly not expecting that kind of answer, “I tracked you down because no one has heard from you in over a month.”

“I have been busy,” Izzy says in his iconic raspy voice, looking away from the man.

“That never stopped you before,” the man inquires.

Izzy remains silent, still not looking at the man.

“Well, I have been busy too. May I come aboard?” Without waiting for Izzy to answer, the man starts to move his boat to the side of the ship. He docks his boat and climbs up onto the empty deck. Looking around he notices the repairs that were done to the vessel, the exceptionally clean floors stood out to him the most.

After a moment, Izzy appears coming through a doorway, his frustration heard clearly by the way his pegleg clicks against the wood floor, and walks straight towards the man. Izzy stands closer to the man than the man is used to. “Leave this ship. Now,” Izzy commands.

The man stares down at the floor to avoid eye contact and notices the details of Izzy’s pegleg. A beautiful prosthetic. He thinks it has just the right amount of gold to make it pop but he wouldn’t dare say that out loud at this moment. Now that the men stood next to each other, it is clear that the younger man is a few inches shorter than Izzy.

Izzy broke the moment of silence, asking flatly, “How did you find me?”

Slightly bothered by Izzy’s unwelcomeness, the unknown man retorts, “What happened to your leg?”

“A shark,” Izzy says, looking off into the distance over the open ocean.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sailing the ocean, not swimming in it,” the man jokes at Izzy.

“How did you find us,” Izzy repeats.

The younger man reaches in his pocket and pulls out a Blackbeard wanted poster, “you might as well have just sent me your coordinates. I knew I’d find you if I was around here long enough,” the man explains as he looks at Izzy as Izzy continues to stare over the calm water, “I just wanted to catch up with you and maybe I could get some rest before going. Please?”

“Fine, you can stay for the night,” Izzy says as he turns his gaze from the sea, “but it can only be for one night.”

“Thank you-”

Izzy cuts the man off before he could finish, “we need to hide you from the crew.”

The two turn to face towards the deck and see a large man with white hair and tattoo stars on the side of his face standing and looking straight at them. “I’m sorry to interrupt, I thought I heard a noise,” the large man says mainly to Izzy, “and I guess I was right. Hey, I’m Wee John.” Wee John reaches his hand forward, offering the man a handshake.

The unknown man lifts up his hand, accepting the handshake, “hello, I’m Lorne. Izzy here is my uncle,” he says with an innocent smile, weakly waving his free hand towards Izzy.

“Shit, I didn’t know Izzy had any family,” Wee John replies.

Izzy grows furious with every passing second.

Lorne glances to look at Izzy's face realizing the mistake he made, he adds, “hey, could you do me a favor and don’t tell anyone I’m here? Especially not your captain.”

Wee John looks down to the floor while replying, “Oh well, you see, usually we try not to keep secrets as a crew. It’s just a general rule,” he says trailing off.

Izzy whispers “fuck” under his breath.

Wee John looks back up at Izzy then he looks over at Lorne then back at Izzy, “‘but for Izzy I guess I could try and make an exception, just this once.”

“Ah! Thank you, Wee John, that means a lot!” Lorne says a little louder than he planned to.

Early the next day, Roach, Lucius, Wee John, and Frenchie are standing on the main deck of the Revenge staring at the small boat that Lorne arrived on, still tied to the side of the ship.

Roach speaks up, “yeah, I really don’t think that was there yesterday.”

“We would have remembered having a boat there, right, guys,” Frenchie questions.

Wee John’s eyes shoot around erratically, “I don’t know, guys, I think we always had a boat there.”

“No, no, this boat was definitely not here yesterday,” Lucius disagrees, waving his pointer finger at the boat, “this doesn't even look like one of our boats. So where did it come from,” he asks mainly to himself.

“I think- I think I remember it clearly now. It has always been there,” Wee John adds nervously.

A raspy voice comes from behind the group, “the owner of that vessel was dealt with so you sorry lot don’t have to worry about it,” the group jumps in surprise, turning to face Izzy, “and now we even got a free boat out of it,” he says with an unsettling smile as he takes a sip from a mostly full alcohol bottle. The group looked at each other and some let out a cautioned chuckle, not knowing if he meant it as a joke or not.

Izzy walks away first, then the rest of the group until it is just Lucius. He pushes his eyebrows together, talking to himself, “yeah maybe or,” he pauses, “you’re hiding something.” He flicks his eyes in the direction of where Izzy walked, “very sus.”

Lucius knows he can’t just follow Izzy around, he would get caught too easily, instead he studies where Izzy comes from and sneaks in after he leaves. For half a day it’s a bust until Izzy leaves out of the kitchen down the hall. Lucius rushes in after it’s clear, he tries to sneak even so Roach is in there preparing for dinner. “Ah! Roach! What- what are you doing here?”

Roach, waving his hand that just so happens to be holding a knife, “I work here.”

“Yeah, of course,” Lucius says, trying to play it cool.

“What are you doing here? Sneaking around.”

“Well actually I’m here because- oh fuck it,” Lucius says dropping his act, “what was Izzy doing in here?”

“Oh, that. Yeah, he has been coming in and getting extra food. It’s a little odd but I think it’s because I have been putting this new spice I got on everything and I think he really enjoys it,” Roach says beaming. He continues to talk about the newly added spice despite Lucius not listening.

“Yeah that's probably it,” Lucius says, trying to be encouraging of his friend but clearly still thinking of Izzy. He leaves the kitchen planning to find where Izzy went next.

Lucius camps out near Izzy’s room and catches him leaving with an empty food tray. After Izzy is out of sight, Lucius jumps up and rushes to the door. Opening it just enough to slip in before quickly shutting it. He turns to look around the dimly lit room when he sees a man. Lucius lets out a scream, as he grabs his chest, “Oh My Fucking God! After regaining his composure and his eyes adjusted to the mostly darkened room, Lucius studies the man’s face. Lucius’s face relaxes, “oh. my. god.” drops out of his mouth, “oh my god. It’s you! Is it you? You look so different.”

The man, who has been quiet up til now, says in a wave of emotions, “fucking hell. Lucius? Yeah, yeah, it’s me. Lorne. You’re a pirate now?”

“It’s a long story but this is too perfect. You have to meet Jim,” Lucius turns his head and shouts loudly, ”Jim come here right the fuck now. Quickly!”

After a moment, Jim rushes in ready, prepared for whatever situation could be so important that would make Lucius shout like that but finds nothing to indicate immediate danger beside the stranger who now was standing with Lucius’s arm around them, ”what is it,” Jim asks through their teeth, irritated by the false emergency.

”This is them! He was my beard. Like I said on that beach forever ago when I found your-,” Lucius waves at his fingers around the lower half of his face.

Lorne speaks up, trying to understand anything that Lucius just said, “What? I was your what?”

While still looking at Jim, Lucius replies to Lorne, “Doesn’t matter, it was a whole thing. I can explain it later.”

Jim stares at the unknown man for awhile then shoots their eyes at Lucius, making an expression as to say, “how the fuck did this person make you look like you were into girls ?”

Lucius takes a half step back from Lorne and turns to look at him. Lorne, the person who has curly sideburns that lead into facial hair stubble from not shaving in a few days, whose shoulders are wide, whose voice is deep and a bit gravelly. “Ok well yes but— hear me out— he didn’t exactly look like this before, he was smoothed faced and his body was.. different. He used to have a very obscenely large pair of breasts.”

Lorne agrees, largely nodding, “yeah, that’s true.”

Wee John rushes into the small room to help with the emergency. He sees Lorne then looks at the other two. He’s stunned stiff, not knowing what to do next. He tries to play off any knowledge of Lorne being on the ship, “who would have guessed there was someone who snuck on board.”

“Well I did so,” Lucius says with copious amounts of sass.

In the dining area, most of the crew, minus Captain Stede, Ed and Izzy, are gathered together. The crew are drinking and smiling, having a good time.

“So, you two are also getting married,” Lorne says, lifting his cup as a cheers gesture, “congratulations!”

“Yes, we are! For real. Unlike our little lavender wedding we had,” Lucius says with the ends of his mouth turned up.

Lorne replies overdramatically, “I get it. You hate lavender. Will you ever let that go?”

“Babe, you didn’t tell me you were married before? When was this?” Pete asks as he holds Lucius’s hand.

“It wasn’t a real wedding. The kids were all talking about who out of us wanted to marry who and Lorne and I just did. not. want. that. So we decided to— granted, we may have taken it a little bit too far but— we decided that the best way to make everyone think we liked each other was to act out getting married. Again, we were kids so it wasn’t in any way an actual wedding but Lorne chose lavender for the color even so I explicitly said I didn’t want that. Not because lavender isn’t a fine color but because I knew he would go overboard with it. Which he did, by the way,” Lucius says pointing for emphasis at nothing in particular.

“Ok well great, now that you’re actually getting married, you can pick any color you want, and have as much of it as you want, so you can forget and move the fuck on from lavender,” Lorne aggressively jokes back.

“Dude, why haven’t you ever told us about your friendship with Lorne before,” Oluwande asks.

Lucius inhales, “We weren’t really ‘friends’ mainly we only hung out when we needed others to think we were together or into each other or whatever. But we didn’t like ‘know’ each other. That sounds bad but- well, he wasn’t the most cheerful kid to say the least,” Lucius pulls a face of regret, “that sounds worse. I meant I didn’t even know he HAD an uncle, let alone that uncle was Izzy. Plus, I only know he was, well, ‘him’ because I happened to run into him the day he started working on some shipment boat or something.” Lucius decides to try to move past his social blunder and adds, “well, anyways, Lorne, you look so good.”

It seems like everyone in the room is painfully aware of Lucius’s awkwardness except for Lorne himself, “Yeah! I’m doing a lot better for myself. Left that hell hole, well obviously you knew that, and I traveled the world. I got to transform myself in my own image. And I really liked getting to travel because I got to meet so many amazing people and hear their stories. However, I did realize I don’t like the trading world as much as I liked listening to others telling me their tales. I loved them so much I even started writing them down. All of them. True stories, fake stories, locals or travelers, first or second hand accounts, it didn’t matter. I love to document them all. So anyways, one day pirates attack, right? And they killed or mutilated most of the crew but me. I don’t know why, maybe because I’m so fucking charismatic, or maybe it’s because they knew I wasn’t a threat because I can’t fight to save anyone’s life, but eitherway they made me their prisoner which I have to admit sucked but I heard even more amazing stories. And this time from pirates. So I sailed with them for a while, got a few of these cool tattoos,” Lorne said, rotating his arm to show the few tattoos across his body that the crew can see, “but then the crew started to fight within themself and, long story semi short, I ended up at a place called, Spanish Jackie’s? Do y’all know that place, it’s on The Republic of Pirates?”

Multiple of the crew answered with a range of agreements, “Yes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Too well.”

“Love that place.”

“Ok great so I ended up living there for a while as a prisoner in that tiny jail cell in the corner of the room. And yeah, sometimes the customers would be.. rude. You know, trying to stab me, burn me, torture me, make me eat posion— luckily it was just a tomato— you know, the typical. The jail bars helped keep them away. But more importantly, some of them told me the most mind boggling stories. I wrote down books worth of them. Plus, I want to add, Jackie gave me food, water, shelter so a special thank you to her. Also she’s so fucking gorgeous. Anyways, then I got released and was making my way back home by any ship that happened to be going that way that would take me. Through my journey I heard stories about Blackbeard’s crew and the recent events pertaining to the crew. And to my horror, when I finally did make it home there was no new letters from my uncle Izzy so I instantly started tracking Blackbeard’s crimes and,” spilling some of his drink as he throws his hands in the air, smiling ear to ear, “here I am.” Lorne points at Fang, “see, I expected to see Fang here but Lucius- now he was a surprise.”

“Wait now, how do you two know each other?” Frenchie asks, waving his hand indicating he’s talking to Fang and Lorne.

Fang and Lorne look at eachother, Lorne nods to Fang to say he can answer for them, “back in the day, we would dock at this one port town and Izzy would take some time ‘for himself’ which the whole crew all found very odd til one day I accidentally saw him, he was walking away from this kid. I have never seen a kid look so miserable. Down to their core. I mean Miserable. Obviously I thought Izzy did that to them so I went over to apologize. That’s when I learned this kid looked up to Izzy. Calling him uncle and shit. This kid turned to look at me with the most hopeless looking pair of eyes and asked if I was also a pirate. When I said yes, a spark sparked in their eyes. And this kid asked me questions until it got dark. Then whenever we docked in that town we would continue our chats,” Fang said, smiling at the old memories.

“I idealized the thought of becoming a pirate and the freedom it would give me. My home life growing up was shit. That freedom was the only thing holding me onto life,” Lorne says oddly chipper for such a dark sentiment, “but Izzy talked me out of becoming a pirate. Told me I should try to find a way I could be free without all the unnecessary dangers. Which, to be fair, he was right but I’m not about to admit that to his face. However, Fang here, he was the one who helped me learn about my uncle Izzy and how to read between the lines of his stories because, god forbid, uncle Izzy ever shares something about himself or what he’s been through.”

The crew continues to drink. The conversation changes to the crafts Wee John has been making.

Wee John holding two wooden sticks crafted to be pointed on one side each, “so yeah it’s basically a fancy rope knot but it’s not with rope and you wear them.”

Clearly very intrigued by the concept, Lorne says, “that’s so cool!”

“Thank you, I don’t want to give too much away but I may have made some hats for the whole crew,” Wee John says a bit shyly.

The crew members all perk up in excitement. Some ask what color they will get and others ask if they can have theirs now.

Lorne, taking the opportunity of the subject of crafts, turns his eyes to Lucius, “you still draw?”

Lucius quickly pulls his drink from his lips. “Don’t,” he commands.

“Come on babe, don’t be shy. Of course he still does. He’s extremely talented,” Pete says bragging about his talented loved one.

“Oh, I know, he is. I have one of his earliest works,” Lorne smiles a small yet devilish smile, staring right into Lucius’s eyes.

“Stop. I’m serious,” Lucius says in an irritated tone but with a hint of a smile.

“I just wish I knew I was going to run into you, if I did I would have brought it with me.”

“Thank god, he doesn't have it,” Lucius says, aimed at the universe, into his cup.

“Of course I don't have it, I didn’t want to damage it so I hung it up at my bookshop— did I tell you I have a bookshop now? Well I have one and your drawing is right where everyone can see it,” Lorne says not even trying to hide his smile anymore, “but don’t worry Lucius, you signed it so everyone that looks at it knows it’s one of your masterpieces.”

Lucius continues to look at Lorne but speaks towards Pete, “babe.”

“Yeah, babe?” Black Pete answers with a confused expression.

“Do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Kill me now.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Pete says, a little caught off guard.

Lorne nods, finishing the last sip of his drink, “oh it can be.”

“It so is,” Lucius says, turning to look at Pete, defeated.

The crew hear someone clearing their throat to get their attention from the doorway to the hall. The room grows cold as everyone turns to see Izzy Hands standing there. His eyes only set on Lorne. “Everyone leave,” everyone including Lorne stands up, “not you.” Lorne sits back down. Izzy only leaves the doorway after clearly stating to the other crew members, “Blackbeard and Stede will not hear of this, under-fucking-stood?”

The rest of the crew agrees as they individually pass by Izzy.

As the last person disappears down the hallway, Izzy spits out the word, “twats,” at the mostly empty room.

Izzy locks his sights back on Lorne but Lorne is the one to break the silence, “Lucius found me. I didn’t-”

“That doesn’t matter,” Izzy says, pausing for a beat in between every sentence. “I told you to keep your head down. That was for your own safety.” He walks over to the seat next to Lorne, sitting facing parallel to him, neither looking at each other anymore, “you know what the previous captain of this ship is capable of,” he says alluding to the long list of crimes committed by Blackbeard but involuntarily his hand tightens around his thigh connected to his prosthetic leg. His words now strained with frustration, “yet you decided to be so foolish as to not stay hidden.”

The room falls completely silent but feels just as loud as it had been moments ago when the whole crew was gathered around drinking.

Lorne broke the silence once again, “The reason I came looking for you was to tell you I am getting married. I met them when traveling home. To see if you had written. They run a small, but gorgeous, bookshop. And they-”

“You can do better,” Izzy said with an edge.

Lorne looks towards the floor while speaking, “you don’t even know them. They really are amazing. You’d hate them. They are so happy— not that they never seen hardship— but, I swear, even on our worst days we make eachother smile, somehow,” Lorne says, smiling like a fool. “I- I even been thinking of joining them running the bookshop, getting away from being at sea,” Lorne's voice anxiously breaks.

Silence.

Lorne continues, “we even put up some of the stories I documented on the shelves. They aren't for sale but people really seem to love them. I have actually been thinking of trying to print some to sell. In the future.” Lorne pauses for a second before adding, “isn’t that nice?”

“You don’t honestly want that,” Izzy dismisses while shaking his head.

Lorne turns to face Izzy despite Izzy still looking away, “I do. I really do. And I know you aren’t really my uncle but I would like— if you want to— I would like it if you were there. Only if you want to be there. You know, when I get married.”

Izzy shushes Lorne. In the silence they hear a faint bell jiggle accompanied by footsteps coming from the deck above them moving closer towards the dining area. Within a second, Izzy stands up and forcefully ushers Lorne to a secret door in one of the dining room walls opposite of the kitchen. In a very low whisper, “do not leave this room until I tell you,” he orders Lorne.

Before Lorne could even process Izzy’s command, Izzy closes the door, trapping Lorne in the completely dark room. Lorne can’t tell what’s in the room, if anything. He doesn’t even know where the walls are but he doesn’t want to move in case he accidentally makes a noise. He stands there frozen.

Back in the dining room, Izzy quickly returns to a chair trying to act as if nothing is off. A long haired man with a short salt and pepper beard wearing an all-tan uncomfortable-looking outfit with a belled collar around his neck barrels down the stairs, ‘“Yo Izzy, there’s a huge ship near us so we’re gonna go raid it,” the man, Edward Teach aka Blackbeard, gleefully asks, “you in?”

Izzy empties the cup he had been using to look as if he was sitting for a while then with a thud places the cup back on the table. He stands up and walks right past Ed like he wasn’t even there.

“Ok, rude. You don’t have to be a dick,” Ed says to the empty room, thinking no one could hear him, “but I guess I deserved that,” before going back up the ladder.

Lorne, finally feeling relaxed enough to move, tries to look around. He strains his eyes, compensating to see in the overwhelming darkness. He’s able to make out the walls of the small rectangular shaped room and a bench running across the long side of it. He takes a seat. He hears the familiar sound of battle: swords clashing, guns firing, people dying, while others scream in agonizing pain. He waits. The battle dies down. Still waiting. Waiting for Izzy to return. He grows bored in the small closed off room. But then that boredom starts turning to anxiety as Izzy doesn’t return. Lorne thinks about disobeying his uncle for the second time in one day by finding a way out. His thoughts get interrupted by the hidden door opening. The light flooding the dark room. Lorne turns away from the door, the light too bright to look at. He realizes it isn’t Izzy who walks in.

The person who walks in is Frenchie, a fairly tall man with dark curly hair and a short beard. Frenchie turns into the room after pulling the door closed then upon seeing Lorne jumps back while drawing a dagger from his body. Once he recognizes it is just Lorne, he puts his dagger back. He lets out a faint laugh, “I didn’t see you there. And well I, uh, didn’t know anyone else knew about this place,” he says standing in his naturally semi-awkward manner, “I’ll just leave.”

Lorne quickly stops Frenchie, “no, you can stay. I was just told by Izzy to hide here til he gets back. But he’s not back. Not yet. Do you know if he’s ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s fine. I just saw him on deck with the others,” Frenchie replies, pointing up at the ceiling towards the main deck, “but I can still go if you want. Uh, I’m here to get away from Stede and Ed— well not them— mainly to get away from the noise of that bell. It’s driving me insane. Always ringing.”

Meanwhile in the captain's quarters, Stede and Edward are not —fucking nasty style— doing anything inherently dirty however most of the crew are fooled by the relentless ringing of the bell around Ed’s neck.

In the hidden room, Frenchie turns to leave through the same secret door he came in. Lorne is about to call him back because he doesn’t want to be alone for any longer but before he could Frenchie turns back and sits down next to Lorne, “actually, I have a question. If that’s fine with you, of course?”

“Shoot,” Lorne doesn’t notice that Frenchie flinches a little.

Frenchie quickly moves past his feelings, “how would you get them to stop, doing that. Well not stop ‘doing that.’ It’s not a bad thing. I just don’t want to hear it. But I don't even know how to talk to the others about talking about it with the captain and Blackbeard. We all been pretending we don’t hear them fornicating,” French says when playing with the edge of his sleeve, “what do you think?”

“Oh. Well. Ok. Yeah. Ah, I guess I would say; for one be open. Honest. You can’t just continue to hide it away behind a door, pretending it doesn’t bother you. It will only make it fester. Even if you just open up to one person, that’s a great start,” Lorne says to Frenchie but unbeknownst to both of them Izzy had started listening in on their conversation through the wall.

Izzy opens the hidden door from the dining room, paying no mind to Frenchie, he says to Lorne, “Blackbeard and the Captain are preoccupied at the moment so fuck off back to my room. You are leaving this ship tonight.”

“Yep, ok,” Lorne says getting up, “bye Frenchie lovely to have met you,” they exchange a wave before Lorne walks back to Izzy’s room.

Hundreds of bright stars surround the thin crescent moon shining in the clear sky. Izzy and Lorne are talking next to the railing at the helm on the highest deck of the ship.

Lorne says while facing Izzy, “don’t forget you’re still invited to my wedding.”

Izzy looks out over the calm ocean glistening from the reflections of the sky, “you really care for them?”

“I really do.”

“You think they are serious about you,” Izzy asks with an almost accusatory tone.

“I know they are,” Lorne answers. He couldn’t help but smile when thinking about his soon to be spouse.

In a beat of silence the sound of Ed’s bell rings out from the flooring above the captain’s chamber.

Lorne looks out into the ocean, “I think it’s you that deserves better.” Lorne doesn’t know if he should push the topic but he decides to; speaking softly, he adds, “I remember when you would sing to me because I was crying my fucking eyeballs out,” Lorne exhales deeply, “where is my uncle that had a shred of true— happiness? contentment? I don’t even fucking know— Where did it go? I’m not blaming you. I just hate to see you like this. A husk of your former self. You gave me a reason to continue,” Lorne swallows, trying not to get emotional, “I’m sorry. I just- I just hope you didn’t lose yourself to the shark. Like it took your leg,” Lorne realizes he went too far, tries to reel it in, “I like your leg, by the way, if I didn’t mention it already. It’s really beautiful.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Izzy replies as he rotates his prosthetic leg, “the guy I took it from wasn’t using it anymore, I made sure of that.” The men stand in silent thought as they both stare into the sea. “Are you serious about giving away your life at sea?”

Lorne nods, “you were right. I could find somewhere I belong and people to belong with without the dangers of the sea.”

Izzy turns away from the ocean, turning to face Lorne, “ok. I’ll be there.”

Lorne quickly turns to look at his uncle Izzy, “really?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Izzy says in a low raspy voice as he moves to hug Lorne.

“Goodbye, uncle Izzy,” Lorne says before releasing Izzy from the hug. Lorne walks down the stairs to the main deck. As he crosses the ship to his boat he says goodbye and waves to each of the crew members. A chorus of farewells are said by the crew as Lorne walks by.

“Goodbye, mate,” Archie says as she nods once to Lorne.

“Great to have met you,” says Jim.

“It’s weird having one of these that isn’t a walk of shame,” Wee John says to Oluwande who’s standing next to him.

Frenchie chimes in, “hope to see you again one day.”

Roach holds up a paper wrapped rectangle, “here’s a sandwich of your journey.”

Lorne grabs the sandwich giving the chief a special thanks. Then he walks in front of Fang, they hug as Fang wishes him safe travels home but before stepping out of the embrace Lorne quietly says to Fang, “I heard yall gave uncle Izzy his new leg. Thank you all for that.”

Fang is taken back, “he actually told you that?”

Lorne exhales hard from his nose as if to laugh, “god no. But I know what he meant. Thank you for looking after him.” Fang and Lorne nod to each other as a last goodbye. Lorne climbs into the small boat he arrived on and waves to the crew on the large ship next to him one more time before rowing off.

The sweet moment was cut short by the ringing of Ed’s collar becoming louder and faster pace. The crew stand awkwardly as to pretend to to notice it till Jim snaps, “that’s it! I changed my fucking mind. No more probation. He can take that fucking bell off.”

The ringing stops dead, the crew exchange looks but don’t have time to react before Stede and Edward walk out from the doorway leading to the captain's chamber. Stede, who is the first one through the door, “hey, what is everyone doing up at this hour?”

The crew members stare at the two men until all at once they start saying that Ed’s punishment is over and he doesn’t need to wear the bell anymore. The two captains look at each other, confused by the sudden turn of opinions. Stede raises one of his eyebrows up to relay his confusion to Ed.

Edward turns his head back towards the crew, “Well, it’s up to the crew, what you say goes.”

Stede asks, still shocked, “are you sure? I don’t want anyone to feel pressured into anything too quickly,” he scans the crew's faces, stopping at Lucius, “Lucius, you agreed to this, too?”

“Yes! God yes,” Lucius agrees, grabbing the bridge of his nose with his hand that’s holding a lit cigarette.

Black Pete chimes in, “even I got sick of hearing that fucking bell.”

Ed and Stede both pull a face not understanding what Black Pete is alluding to but Stede decides to move past it, “see Ed, they trust you again already! I told you it wouldn’t take long.”

“If you all say so,” Ed says while lifting his hands to his collar before dropping his hands a bit, “but I have to say I really started to like it,” he wiggles his head side to side to make the bell ring.

“Take it off!” The whole crew shouts.

“Ok, ok, fucking hell, you don’t need to yell,” Ed says widening his eyes in sass as he unclasps his collar. He rolls his neck a few times, finally free from the collar.

The rest of the crew head off to bed, leaving Stede and Ed alone, they return to the captain’s chamber. Stede closes the door behind them, “does that mean we’re co-captains again?”

“I guess so, mate,” Ed replies.

[helenaheissner]

Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 26

Kate

“I have an idea,” I said to Nadine. We were in the garage part of Gaines’ facilities, and we had the place to ourselves. Nothing but us, my robot, and the smell of oil and grease. I wore a simple, practical outfit that day- a pair of jeans and a buttoned-up pink flannel. It was almost staggering how many pink articles of clothing I’d acquired in the past month, but I wasn’t exactly complaining. It just… Made me happy. A way to signal who I was, who I was becoming and who I’d always been. Yeah, it was a stereotype, but I didn’t care. It was what I liked, and there was nothing wrong with it. 

Nadine put her camera down. “Run it by me.”

“Cheerleader.”

“Go on.”

“That could be my gimmick.”

“Intriguing. Whose cheerleader?”

“My own, I guess,” I said. “What do you think?”

“Would you dress like one?”

“That would be the idea,” I said. “I don’t think I would start until next year tho- by then, my boobs will have grown a bit, hopefully.” I gestured to them, or to the lack of them, and managed to accidentally tap my chest… 

… At which point, there was a small sting, a little bite of soreness. 

They were coming. The hormones were working. 

I could have cried, but instead, I danced. 

Faith’s lessons had been paying off, and I found myself flailing around my robot with a slightly greater degree of coordination than I normally would have. Nadine started snapping her digital camera. “Good. Good. Keep doing that.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you might actually be able to pull this whole cheerleader angle off. I’d get a few more dance lessons first, though,” Nadine said. 

“Okay, duly noted,” I said, giggling and brushing the hair out of my face. Really needed to do something about this. I’d scheduled a salon appointment for that day, though, so this would be less of an issue then. 

Hopefully they’d be able to accomplish what I was asking them to do. 

That was when Gaines stormed in, a hulking wall of muscle with a throbbing forehead vein and an utter dearth of chill. “Hi, ladies,” he grimaced. “How’s it going here?”

“Good,” I smiled. 

His scowl deepened. 

“Yes, boss?” Nadine asked. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m only gonna ask this once: who’s idea was it have Ms. Calloway stand in front of a trans pride flag and post it on our social media with the caption ‘trans rights are human rights?’”

Nadine opened her mouth, but I cut her off. I couldn’t let her take the fall for me, not after she’d helped me so much. “It was my idea, sir.”

They both looked at me and blinked rapidly. “Was it, now?” Gaines asked. “Because I’ve lost a dozen members in the past week because they aren’t comfortable with our current direction.”

“That was always going to be a risk, sir,” I pointed out. “You knew what you were doing when you agreed to keep being my sponsor.”

Nadine looked ready to faint. I was pretty sure she’d stopped breathing. Couldn’t blame her- Gaines was fuming so hard he was sucking all the oxygen from the room. “I see. Well, I suppose that’s true. And I suppose it’s also my fault for not checking my own feed. But tell me- why should I keep sponsoring you if you’re going to keep doing something that will alienate potential clientele?”

I bunched my fists and clenched my jaw, but the anger flowed out of me just as soon as it came. I didn’t need it. There was only one thing I needed, and that was confidence in myself, in my abilities, in what I was doing and my ability to get it done. “Because I’m gonna win you a championship, Mr. Gaines.”

“Are you now?” Gaines said, cocking (I could hear Faith laughing from however many miles she was from here) one of his massive gray-brown eyebrows. 

I stood up straight, unclenched my fists, breathed in and out, and looked him square in the face. God, he was buff. He could crush me if he wanted to. Literally and metaphorically. But I knew people like him, how they thought, what they responded to: force. Strength. Grit. “Yes. And when I do, everyone will shut up. People will stop caring about whatever bias makes them not like me, and they’ll see a champion, plain and simple. And they’ll come to you to get the parts of a champion, to get their vehicle fixed up in a place where a champion built her robot.”

“Will they?”

“Yes. They will. People don’t care about you ‘represent’ if you’re winning. They only care that you’re winning. And I’m gonna win big this year. Sir.”

He squinted, pointed at me with his comically large index finger… And threw his head back and laughed. “Alright then, girly- if you say so. I like your gumption, I’ll give you that much. Here’s the arrangement, then- you bring me a championship trophy, and I’ll stick with you. I’ll even give you an increase on your stipend. But you come up even an inch short? You’re done. Find a new sponsor. Capiche?”

“Capiche,” I affirmed, extending a hand. 

We shook, and I kept eye contact the entire time. 

Finally, Gaines turned around. “Nadine?”

“Yes, boss?”

“Keep up the good work. Whatever you’ve done, you’ve done a fine job of it.”

“Uh… Thanks, sir,” Nadine said. 

He was silent for the rest of his exit from the garage. A moment passed by before Nadine looked at me and said, “Are you crazy?!”

I shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”

“That’s not reassuring.”

“I think I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t think you’re being in any way overconfident?”

“Oh, I’m being grossly overconfident,” I said. “But it was either that or lose my sponsor right before the tournament starts.”

“Fair enough. I just… I like working with you. You seem like a good person, and I don’t want to see you get cut loose.”

I smiled at her. “Thank you. I like working with you too. But, uh, one thing at a time, yeah?”

She smiled back. “Yeah. So, should we finish up this shoot?”

“Yes, please,” I said, throwing my hair back. 

***

I stepped into the salon in Manhattan Beach, the peach and violet scents of shampoo and conditioner combining with gentle lights at the chairs and the warm hum of dryers. Seabreeze from the nearby ocean drifted in and cooled the place lovingly while offering its own calming aroma. A shapely Latina with dyed red hair wearing an orange knit-dress stepped forward over the black linoleum floor and said, “Hi! Are you Kate Calloway?”

“Yup! How’d you know?”

“I’m Ronda, your mother’s stylist. You look a lot like her.”

“Aw, thank you,” I said, trying very, very hard to maintain eye contact in spite of my own exhaustion. The encounter with Gaines had left me a lot more emotionally drained than I’d been expecting, but I wanted to be polite. Women came to salons and felt an overwhelming surge of sororal solidarity, so I wanted to feel that too. “Might be even more true after today.”

“Oh yeah, I got the picture you sent me,” Ronda said, guiding me into a chair with a wash bin behind it. “You sure you wanna go for it? You’ll have to come back tomorrow so we can finish it off, and it requires a ton of upkeep if you want to maintain it long term.”

“I know,” I said, sitting in the chair and leaning my head back into the basin. “And I want to go for it anyway.”

Ronda smiled at me with big, cherry-red painted lips. “Bold. You really are your mother’s daughter, aren’t you?”

“Hm. Well, I try to be.”

“Well then let’s get started,” Ronda said, turning on the faucet. 

The warm water collided with my hair and scalp, and the stress and anxiety were immediately washed away. “Let’s.”

***

A day and a half later, after the sun had begun to set over the city of Angels, I rushed downstairs at the sound of our doorbell ringing. The long hem of my pastel pink, short-sleeved floral dress swayed around my freshly-shorn legs in a manner that made me giddy. A smile crept onto my perfectly painted face. I knew who was behind the door, and I couldn’t wait to see how they reacted to my new look. 

I pulled the door open. 

Zeke- in a black button-down tucked into his tight-fitting jeans, his hair messy and his stubble grown out into a slight but very sexy beard- and Faith- clad in casual white and blue sundress with a lovely little cleavage window parked up front- waited on the other side, and they both took one look at me and gasped. 

It was exactly what I’d been hoping for. “Hi. What do you think?”

“You’re blonde,” Zeke said, eyes wide as saucers. 

“Bleach blonde,” Faith said, blinking rapidly. 

“Platinum blonde,” Zeke said, grinning appreciatively.

“Marilyn Monroe blonde,” Faith said, naked lust permeating her voice.

“Well, I was going more for Miranda Calloway blonde, but I’ll take it,” I smiled, playing with a loose strand of my platinum waves. “Do y’all like it?”

“I love it,” Zeke said instantly. “You look super hot. Not that you didn’t before, but-”

“This looks more like you,” Faith finished for him.

“Thank you,” I said, putting a hand over my chest, sending another shockwave through my tender breast bud. Ow. I’d have to get used to that. 

“I just can’t believe you really went for it- that could have fried your hair!” Faith said. 

“What’s life without a little risk?” I said, unable to keep my smile at bay. “Besides, I think it turned out well.”

“It did, it did, I just… God, you’re so cool,” Faith said, grabbing both my hands and pulling me close.

I blushed beat-red and gave her a peck on the lips. “No, you’re so cool.”

Faith gulped and scrunched her face in protest. “No, YOU’RE SO COOL-”

“This is very cute and all, but I can feel the cold air getting out of Kate’s place, so maybe we should head out,” Zeke chuckled. 

“Sounds good,” I said. I turned back and shouted, “Mom! Dad! I’m heading out! I’ll be back late!”

“Have a nice time!” Mom called from upstairs. 

And with that, and a kiss for both of my beloveds, we were off. 

We drove all the way to Hollywood and found ourselves at a small bar with loud music playing. There weren’t too many patrons, so we had the dance floor to ourselves. And dance we did, with the display serving as my latest lesson. 2000s pop-punk music sounded all around us, and I let myself get lost in the sway of my hips and the feeling of Faith’s arms around me, of holding Zeke’s hands while he spun me around and dipped me, of slow dancing with all three of them. 

I raised my phone up high when the three of us were all pressed together and said, “Smile!”

And they did, and I took the photo, and the memory was forever secured. 

And then, shock of all shocks, I did something incredibly stupid: I posted it on social media. It seemed like a benign idea at the time. It really did. 

***

The morning rush came into the shop like a flood the next day, an endless deluge of shoppers looking to get kitted out. I used the opportunity to work on my voice, to practice my gentler mannerisms and more gracious personality. The customers definitely noticed- I closed more sales that day than I had in ages. I got a few ‘sirs’, sure, but almost all of them apologized as soon as they said it, and the others did so after I corrected them. 

All was going well, until the consequences of my reckless actions walked into the shop in the form of Olivia Root. 

I did a double-take when I recognized her, clad in a dark red sundress that hugged her ample hips and equally ample bust, with hoop earrings dangling from her lobes, makeup immaculate, and natural hair long and bouncy. She was unaccompanied by her teammates, carrying only a canopy shoulder bag over her arm. She wandered around the shop, looking at different dresses, finally pulling a sleeveless turquoise number off of the rack and taking it into the changing room. 

She stepped out, clad in the dress, looking even more stunning now than she had before. She walked up to me at the register, my parents both on the floor talking with other customers, leaving me alone with a woman I’d called out and challenged on live television. 

Sometimes I look up at the sky and ask ‘Why, God? Why did you make me so fucking stupid?’ 

At least now I could call myself a dumb blonde in earnest.

“I’d like to buy this dress,” Olivia said, looking at me plainly. 

“Good choice,” I said, looking down at the register. “It looks nice on you.”

“And I’d like to have a word with you,” Olivia said. 

“Whatever about?”

“Faith.”

“I don’t think she would like that.”

“Then work.”

“Well, I’m currently at work. This is one of my jobs, believe it or not, and I’m on the clock. And I already took my break an hour ago,” I said, furiously punching the keys on the cash register.

“Then after you clock out,” Olivia said. 

I shook my head, still not looking up as I ran her card through the swiper. “That’s not for another hour. And you’ve already bought something, so you’ll have to buy more stuff. Otherwise you’re loitering. Which is a misdemeanor, for which you can be fined-”

Olivia sighed, very slightly. “There’s a coffee shop down the road- I’ll hang out there. Meet me inside when you’re off work. And thank you for the dress- it’s honestly quite lovely.”

“My mother made it,” I said, handing her a receipt.

“Well she’s very talented, then,” Olivia said. She took the receipt, and she turned around and left. 

I spent the next hour locked into tunnel vision, trying desperately to focus on my work, on the swelling tide of customers that came without end. As the rush died down, however, my impending meeting became an all-consuming presence in my mind. I stood behind the front desk, drumming my fingers on the wooden surface, actively having to think about not biting my pink-polished fingernails. 

I pulled my phone loose from my purse on the floor and typed out a furious message to my partners during a free moment: “SOS Olivia came in and she’s demanding to talk to me!”

Faith was the first to reply: “WUT!”

“She’s waiting at a coffee shop down the street for me once my shift ends.”

“You’re not gonna go, are you?”

“IDK.”

“Don’t. Go.”

Zeke chimed in: “maybe she should go.”

Faith: “No, that’s a terrible idea. Olivia will eat her alive.”

I said: “I’m not scared of her, you know.”

“I’m not saying you should be, I just can’t imagine what she even wants to speak with you about,” Faith replied. 

I said, “Work. And you.”

Faith: “... I don’t like that.”

Zeke: “I don’t either.”

I typed, “I’m not crazy about it myself. But I think I should at least try to apologize.”

“For what?” Zeke asked. 

“Calling her out like I did.”

Zeke: “That was just you playing the heel. And you’ve changed.”

“I don’t think she’s aware of that, y’all.”

“... Dammit. Kate’s right,” Faith said. 

“I am?”

“Yes, you are. Olivia and I used to complain about you all the time last year. Like an ouroboros of self-indulgent bitching.”

“I don’t know what to do with that statement,” I typed. 

“... I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I typed. “I’ve changed. And I’d like Olivia to see that.”

“... Text us the address?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I typed. 

“I’m with Kate on this one,” Zeke replied. “Olivia might not accept Kate’s apology if we’re there. It might seem like we forced her to do it.”

“Good point,” Faith said. “Can we at least come over and wait on stand-by? And that way we can all hang out when you get back?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” I said. 

“Please stop texting at work, Kate,” Dad said as he walked by carrying two massive cardboard boxes under his arms. 

I blanched and put the phone back in my purse. “Right. Sorry.”

The remaining fifteen minutes before I clocked out lived and died a slow, painful demise. Finally, it was over, and it was time to have a talk with my girlfriend’s ex. 

“Where you heading?” Dad asked as I slung my purse over my shoulder. 

“Gonna meet a… Colleague,” I said, my voice going flat and deep. I winced as I heard it. “Is it alright if Zeke and Faith come over in a little bit?”

“Hm? Yeah, that’s fine,” Dad said. “We’re probably just gonna do pizza tonight, honestly. I assume you want your PB&J?”

“Yes please,” I smiled. “Just be sure to get a different one, too. Faith isn’t crazy about the spice.”

“Duly noted- she can share a barbeque chicken pie with your mother,” Dad said. “Also, are you alright?”

“Hm? Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem… A bit jittery today, Katie,” Dad said. 

“I… Ask me that again later?” I said, standing in the front doorway. 

“Okay,” Dad nodded. “Be safe.”

“I will be. Love you, Dad.”

“Love you too.”

He was right, though. There was something I’d been avoiding, something I hadn’t wanted to address but which I was becoming increasingly concerned would be an issue. 

What would happen if I had to face Faith and Zeke in the battle box again?

As I walked down the street, the hot sun and cool seabreeze hitting me all at once, the question gnawed at my stomach lining. I loved being with both of them. And I liked being the person I was now: cute and blonde and happy and sweet and girly. I didn’t miss the guy I’d been: a posturing meathead who never shut up and had no concept of personal space or boundaries or any self-awareness whatsoever. And I didn’t think that having Faith and Zeke as my rivals last year had turned me into that person- I’d been that already, before we’d fought. But… 

God, I didn’t want to backslide. I didn’t want to turn back into that guy. And now I was going to confront someone who had been at the epicenter of that guy’s last notable public appearance. Someone who thought I was still that person, who probably thought I was going to backslide at some point and hurt someone who she really cared about. 

If I didn’t want to be Keith anymore, I had to prove it. To myself, first and foremost.

Breathing steady but heartbeat elevated, I moved forward. I had to do this. Had to do this. Had to prove it to Olivia. If I could prove it to her, I could finally prove it to myself.

I approached Hal’s Coffee Hut, a ramshackle building with a tile roof and brick walls on the corner of a busy intersection. Glass tables and wooden chairs sat gathered under umbrellas outside the establishment, while tinted windows kept the baking light from getting inside. I opened the door, which gave the ring of a bell as I stepped inside to the aromas of percolating coffee and fresh pastries inside a heavily air conditioned facility. 

In a metal chair, at a wooden table, atop the black linoleum floor, nursing a glass of cold brew and a blueberry muffin, Olivia Root sat waiting for me. 

She stared at me, blinking only occasionally as I walked up to the counter and ordered myself an iced Americano and a cinnamon roll. I maintained eye contact with her as I waited at the pick-up section for my drink, tearing sections off my pastry. Finally, a glass of cold coffee was thrust into my hand and I sauntered over to the table where she waited for me. 

“You changed your hair,” she said. 

“I did,” I said, running my hand through a loose section of it. I was still getting used to seeing light blonde locks running down my shoulders and chest when I looked down. But I liked it. I liked the new me. And I’d be damned I could be cowed or provoked into not being that person anymore. Had to do this. Had to prove myself. “I needed a change.”

“Been making a lotta changes lately.”

“I have,” I nodded. 

“You and Faith looked awfully cozy in that picture you posted last night.”

“You follow me on Insta?”

“I follow all the competition,” she said. “Same goes for other platforms.”

“That’s certainly…”

“Certainly what?”

“Dedicated.”

“Was that what you were originally going to say?”

“Yes,” I said. 

“Uh-huh.”

“Why do you care, exactly?” I said, trying to change the subject. Easy, Kate, don’t provoke her, and don’t get angry. You can do this. Just have a civilized conversation with someone who openly hates you. No problem. 

“I care about Faith,” she said. “I don’t want her to get hurt. She told me about what happened, about you pressuring her into confessing to Zeke-”

“Pressure is a very strong word,” I said, monotone anger beginning to infect my voice. 

“Sure it is,” she said. “I guess I just wanna know: what kind of game do you think you’re playing here, Calloway?”

“Uh… Competitive robot fighting?”

“Don’t get cute with me.”

“You think I’m cute?” I said, smirking, squinting, raising both eyebrows. 

“Don’t do that,” she glared. 

“What, be witty and charming?”

“Distract me. Avoid the topic. What kind of game are you playing with Faith and Zeke?”

“Um… There’s no game?” I said, barely understanding what I was being asked. “I’m just in a happy, committed relationship.”

“With which one?”

I flinched. Oh. Right. This wasn’t something we’d exactly gone public with. Because… We’d been afraid that… Something… Like this would… Would…

“You gonna answer the question? Or should I take your silence as an answer?”

“Both. I’m dating both. And they’re both dating me,” I said. “And they’re dating each other.” 

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“No, I’m being entirely sincere right now,” I said before taking a long sip of my coffee. 

She stared at me, hands flat on the table. “Is this a fucking joke to you?”

“In what regard?”

“Them. Both of them. You seriously don’t see what this looks like?”

“I guarantee you that I don’t,” I rolled my eyes. Seriously, what was this jackass on about?

“You’re shitting me-”

“I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this, but I’ve historically struggled with a lack of self-awareness. So perhaps you’d be so terribly kind as to explain to my dumb blonde ass what the fuck you’re on about?” I said, frustrating starting to seep into my conscious mind.

“You’re playing with their hearts,” Olivia said. “Toying with them both in order to take down the competition from within.”

I blinked a single, sustained blink for something like fifteen seconds, my jaw dropped so far it might’ve dislocated. “Excuse you?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Calloway. You may have those two fooled, but you I see right through you.”

“You’re insane,” I glared. “You think I’m some kind of supervillain, when in reality I’m just an idiot who somehow lucked into a relationship with two amazing people.”

“God, you really buy your own bullshit, don’t you?” Olivia said. 

“Because it’s not bullshit. It’s the truth. I like them both,” I said, bunching my fists together. She thought I was… She thought I was freaking honey-potting the competition! What the hell- who would do such a thing?!

“And the fact that this would make it harder for them to fight you again if it comes to that is just a bit of good luck?” Olivia said. 

“No, it’s bad luck, because it’ll be just as hard for me,” I said, the anger beginning to rise, only to slam against the ceiling of my willpower. I wasn’t going to get angry, not at her, not in public. I just couldn’t believe she really thought I’d... 

“I won’t let you hurt her more than you already have,” Olivia said. 

“Funny, I could say the same thing about you,” I snapped, slamming my hand on the table. “Because you hurt her real badly. You ripped her heart out and tore it into a million fucking pieces. There are times where I still see her struggling to piece it back together. But Zeke and I care about her more than enough to help her with that.”

“Should’ve known you couldn’t get through this conversation without screaming,” Olivia said. 

“I’m not screaming!” I said. Then I blinked again, and realized everyone was staring at me. Because I’d screamed. “I’m not… I’m not the monster you think I am, Olivia,” I said, forcing myself into a quieter volume. The anger began to dissolve, boiled away by the cold fire of my shame and dysphoria. I’m not that person anymore. I’m not.

“However badly I hurt her,” Olivia said, “It’s nothing compared to what you did. She used to rant about you for hours, about how annoying you were, how much you’d embarrassed us, how much we were all looking forward to ripping that smug fucking smirk off your face. She dreaded having to deal with you, and so did I, because just looking at you would ruin her day.”

I blinked again. A tear fell out, shattering on the table. Did I really… Did she really?

“And you’re crying, like the fragile little baby you are,” Olivia rolled her eyes and scoffed. “That’s really all it is with you: you’re a child, desperate for attention. So desperate for Faith’s attention that you harassed her into thinking she likes you after you stole Zeke from her. The fact that you think you can get away with this is sickening. The fact that you think you can flaunt this farce of a relationship in front of everyone is equally sickening. You disgust me, Keith Calloway.”

I stared at her, wide-eyed with shock, my deadname knocking the wind out of me. 

“I bet you’re not even really trans,” Olivia said. “You just wanted the attention Faith was getting because of her transition. You’re an insult to trans people, just like you’re an insult to our sport. And if I have to kick your ass in the battle box to stop you from dragging Faith down with you, I will. But honestly, given who you’re up against this week, I probably won’t even need to. Gregson will put you in your place like the obnoxious little boy you are. I’ll see you at the arena, Keith. Have a nice day. And thanks again for the dress.”

Her words were like daggers, each sentence a stab wound. She got up and left me there, without even my rage for company. It was gone, out of reach- where was it? And why couldn’t I move or speak or do anything but count the tears that were falling from my eyes. It shouldn’t hurt this much. 

It didn’t used to hurt this much. 

I buried my face in my hands and wept, sitting there for what felt like hours. The emotional wounds festered and stung, and I hated how much I thought she was right. I was a travesty, an insult, a bad person, a fake trans girl. If she was wrong, I’d have been able to fight back, keep my anger, use it. Do something instead of cry. And cry. And cry. And cry. 

“Um… Excuse me, Miss?” a slender black barista with dreadlocks tied back in a ponytail said to me while holding a slip of paper. “Your friend said that you would be paying for her food and drink?”

I looked up at him, sure I was in a state with my red eyes and horror show of makeup. 

“You know what? It’s on the house,” he said, offering me a weak thumbs-up.

***

Eventually, I managed to force myself to my feet and hauled my stupid, disgusting, fake body back to the store. I lumbered into the back and stormed past my mother talking to Faith and Zeke in the hallway. 

“Katie?” Faith asked, concern I’d done nothing to warrant plain to see on her perfect face. “What happened?”

“What did she do?” Zeke growled. 

“Kate,” Mom started. 

I stormed past them, silently, and went into my room and slammed the door and locked it. 

I flopped onto my bed, my newly-blonde hair falling into my face. I didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve any of this. I rolled over and looked into the vanity mirror we’d brought into my room recently, and stared at myself. I was disgusting, a perversion, a degenerate travesty, an insult to trans women everywhere. I ought to just hack my hair off, wipe away the runny makeup, put back on the boy clothes I deserved to wear. 

But the thought of that… It was like imagining bathing in sewer water. It made me feel like weeds were growing out of my skin. It made me feel like hiding away in some deep dark corner of unreality and never letting anyone see me again. I couldn’t go back to being Keith. I didn’t want to. 

But what if I wasn’t really trans? What if I really was just a freak? What if I just wanted attention? What if I was just trying to take down the competition by playing some kind of cruel game?

“Kate?” Zeke and Faith both called from the other side of my door. 

I laid there for a while, the room spinning as I slipped further and further away. 

“Please open the door, Kate,” Mom said.

Mom. She and Dad… They believed me. They saw the best in me. And maybe they were biased because they were my parents, but… Maybe there was something to it. 

I rolled off my bed and hobbled over to the door and pulled it open a crack. My partners and my parents both were all there, all slumped with concern like they were sharing my pain. 

“Hi, guys,” I said weakly. 

Mom started, “Katie, what’s going on-”

Faith yanked the door open and wrapped her arms around me. I gasped as she impacted, stunned that she was giving me surprise-hugs all of the sudden. 

“I don’t… I don’t deserve this,” I said. 

“Yes, you do,” Faith said, squeezing me tight. 

“But I’m… I’m not really trans!” I moaned. 

All four of them gaped at me. Finally, Faith said, “What the fuck did she say to you?!”

I explained why as Faith wiped the runny makeup off of my visage and applied moisturizer, then kept explaining as she and Zeke led me to the dining room. My parents had set aside a glass of water for me while my mom cooked spaghetti on the stovetop. 

“And that’s what happened?” Zeke said, sitting on the couch with my dad. Dad was just angrily fiddling with his abacus, looking ready to pop a vein from sheer rage. 

“Yeah,” I said, sitting at the kitchen table while Faith stroked my arm. 

“Unbelievable,” Zeke said, fists balled. 

“But she’s right, I’m an insult to-”

“No,” Faith said simply. “You’re not. Nobody fakes being trans, Kate. Nobody does that to get attention. That’s not a real thing. And even if they did, nobody would go as far as to start taking estrogen. Olivia only thinks that because she knows literally nothing about the topic.”

“Then why does it hurt so much! Why did her words-”

“You’re on estradiol and spiro, sweetie,” Faith said. “It’s like that.”

“It’s… That’s all?”

“Yeah. You’re gonna cry more. And more. And more and more and more. And you’re gonna find yourself becoming less aggressive. That’s normal. It’s just how the HRT works.”

“Oh,” I said quietly. “But what if-”

“Kate, if you were honey-potting us, you’ve been doing a terrible job at it,” Zeke said blandly. “Someone doing that would try to play Faith and I against each other, make us think we had to compete for you. You literally offered to get out of the way so Faith and I could be together at one point.”

“And I should still-”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Zeke said. 

“You really shouldn’t,” Faith said. 

“This is correct,” Dad said. 

“Mm-hm,” Mom intoned. 

“You… You really don’t think I’m… A bad person?”

“No,” they all said. 

“You don’t think I’m an attention whore?”

A bit of incoherent murmuring came out of each of them as they all babbled at once, but eventually Faith’s voice rose over the others: “A little, yeah. But like… That’s not always a bad thing. And you’ve been doing a much better job keeping that in check lately.”

“... Did you and Olivia really used to rant about me for hours at a time?” I asked, barely squeaking out the words I feared the answer to. 

“... Yes,” Faith said, breaking eye contact. “But I’m not proud of that. Yes, you were obnoxious, but I took it WAY too personally. It wasn’t okay. And Olivia and I fed into each other on that. Honestly, we fed into a lot of each other’s worst habits.”

“Oh yeah, big time,” Zeke said. 

“You know, you could have tried to call us on it at the time,” Faith said flatly. 

“Would you have listened?” Zeke said. 

“... No, probably not,” Faith shrugged. “And Olivia definitely wouldn’t have.”

“Yeaahhhhh, that’s what I figured.”

“Look,” Faith said to me, “You can’t let her get to you.”

“I just don’t know what to do with all this,” I said, raking my hands through my hair. Oh, my hair. My beautiful blonde hair. I couldn’t believe I’d been considering hacking it off. “I’m glad I didn’t lose my temper. I’m glad the anger didn’t take over. But… Is this who I am now? I am gonna break down crying every time an insult hits close to home?”

“No,” Faith said with a reassuring smile. “The hormones are overwhelming you right now, but you will get used to them in time.”

“And it doesn’t have to be forever,” Mom said gently, pouring the cooked pasta into a drainer and stirring the marinara and sausage sauce with a wooden spoon. Guess she decided a home-cooked meal was what I needed. “There’s such a thing as feminine strength. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself. You just need to figure out how to do that in a way that feels right to you. In a way that feels right for the woman you’re becoming.”

I gulped, and I nodded. Zeke came over and sat opposite me, and I leaned into his strength. So tough and rugged. And I held Faith close, feeling her strength as well: her iron will and steadfast perseverance, her ability to keep going and always find a way.

“You’ll never be perfect,” Faith said. “But you are getting better. And it’s been amazing, watching you blossom.”

“Thank you,” I sniffed. 

“You’re strong, Katie,” Zeke said. “And you’re brave. You just need to accept that. That’s the first step to being able to stick up for yourself. You’re worth it. And we care about you.”

“We all do,” Dad smiled. 

“Amen,” Mom said as she served me a plate of pasta. 

I felt myself starting to cry again, happy tears this time. I wanted to fight against it, hold it back like I used to. But… 

But that wasn’t real strength. Hiding from how I felt, that wasn’t me. That wasn’t the kind of strength I wanted. I was someone who could be honest about how she felt. And who was strong enough to show it to people. And that was okay. 

So I cried my happy tears while I ate my home cooked meal with the people who saw me for who I really was and who I was becoming. Who saw all that I’d been and all that I could be, and who wanted to be there with me as I moved forward. 

And move forward I would.

***

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

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[princesscolumbia]

Return to Recipient, Ch. 4 - A Notable Occasion

I legit didn't expect this chapter to take as long as it did. Every time I opened it to work on it, I would think, "Just a few more minutes work, and I'll be done!" Three hours later and I'm still working on it...

But it's done! And I like it! It's a little long winded in some spots and I had to create an OC for a brand new location, but other than those caveats, I think it works.

Summary:

Yuka and Sayuri are having a not-quite-a-date at the mall when they spot Akane's fiance.

Notes:

(Yes, I'm stretching the theming for the title of this chapter)

Preview below the cut:

It took some effort, but they managed to maneuver Ranma to the food court. Sayuri draped her jacket over the redhead's shoulders (not that Ranma'd complained of the mall being cold, but it seemed like a thing to do and, it must be said, did seem to help the martial artist to regain some emotional equalibrium) and Yuka insisted on using the money that hadn't been enough to pay for their yogurts to buy Ranma a hot chocolate. Enough time later that they heard the mall's kitschy 'clock tower' in the middle of the food court chime the next hour (11 o'clock, getting pretty close to lunch time) had passed before a sniffling Ranma finally was able to say, "Thanks...an' sorry."

"Sorry?! For what?" gawked Yuka.

"F'r fallin' apart on you," Ranma answered, "I...I didn't think I'd bump inta anyone from school this early, shoulda known with my luck..." he sighed and sipped his cocoa, "An' I really don't remember bein' there before today. Doc said I had a 'dissociative episode' an' the person you saw was kinda me, but, like, post-head injury. I don't remember anything for 'bout 24 hours that day."

Sayuri's earlier warning signals had returned with reinforcements, "Oh..." she held a hand up to her mouth, mortified that they'd made fun of someone who'd been severely injured, "Then I'm sorry..."

"Me too!" Yuka interrupted.

"...we just saw Akane was really upset and we kinda assumed..."

Yuka flinched expressively, "And I guess we made an ass of ourselves with that..."

"...and thought you were just making fun of your fiancée."

Yuka sighed, "We should've offered to help. At least taken some of whatever stress Akane was goin' through off her shoulders."

Ranma shrugged, "Nah, it's cool. I've been...kinda a dick to Akane, almost since we met."

This caught the girls up short. Never, not even once, had they ever seen (or even heard of) Ranma expressing humility and contrition.

Their unplanned table-mate apparently took their silence as a prompt to continue, "I was hopin' t'get in, get what I needed, and get out without anyone seein' me, but...well, I guess it's all over now. You saw me, y're gonna tell Akane, 'n I'll havta explain to her what I was doin' here, and then she'll tell our parents an'..." he started to tear up, rubbing the back of his hand against his eyes to try and stave off another crying jag, "I might as well tell you what's goin' on. Aint like the teachers don't know...well, a few of 'em, anyway."

The two girls looked at each other, then back to Ranma. "I'm sorry, Ranma-kun," said Sayuri, "I..don't understand. What's all over now?"

Ranma took a big gulp of his cooling hot chocolate and started explaining. He described the note, which he told them was still with the doctor since he was afraid of his family finding out before he was ready to disclose its contents. He told them about the ensuing conversation where Ranma found out about trans folk for the first time. The reinforcements those red flags brought whipped off their metaphorical mask and revealed they were the rainbow of Pride flags all along and and had declared Sayuri had royally fucked up. Oh...crap! she thought to herself, We've been stomping on an egg this whole time! He...she explained how she'd gone to Miss Hinako about transitioning at school and that lead to a conversation with the coach about her attendance in P.E.

"I tried t'explain that if I changed to the girl's side, 'specially with Akane in the same class, the whole thing'd come out an' it'd all be over, but the coach was...weird about it. Said she wasn't gonna have a girl be forced to play with the boys, even if she could have a boy's body. I mean, Made me feel good t'be called a girl an' have someone in my corner, but..." she shrugged.

"...but she was pushing you out when you weren't ready?" offered Yuka.

Ranma nodded, "Anyway, she said I had'ta get a sports bra. The school could provide the right uniform, 'parently 'cause both mom and pops're technically homeless and don't have jobs that means I get t'be on the school's financial support program, but they don't provide underwear. So I gotta get a bra." The girl practically shrank into Sayuri's jacket, "I don't even know what I'm doin'! I don't even know if I have enough money!"

Sayuri felt a hand squeeze hers, she looked down and saw that Yuka had reached over under the table to hold her hand. The distressed look her girlfriend was giving her showed they both felt the same way about the mess they found themselves in.

Ranma apparently missed their interchange, having never really looked up from the cup in her hands, "An' when mom asked Akane to spend some time with her, I thought this was perfect, y'know? Both've 'em distracted with their stuff an I can just go get what I need for school an' be home before they even know I'm gone...then Ma tells Akane what they'll be doing..." tears started beading Ranma's eyes again, "It hit me alla sudden...I'm her daughter. I'm the one she should be showin' how t'make recipes and put on makeup an' be all proper, but..." she shuddered, a sob threatening to escape, "...but I'll never get that 'cause I gotta be a...m-m-manly m..." The last word was lost to a low, soft keening sound as she started crying again. Not as rough and traumatic as she had in front of the store, but still heartbreaking nonetheless. She managed to pull herself together fairly quickly, though she was still just barely keeping herself from spilling over again, "An' when I got here and got t'the door an'...I didn't know what to do. I've been in stores with women's clothes, 'course, but it was always 'cause my mom was draggin' around 'cousin Ranko,' and not," she drew a shuddering breath, "An' not me."

Akane had complained quite vociferously about 'cousin Ranko,' about how she was 'so much better a girl' than Akane and how Nodoka always had only the best things to say about a fake girl and how Akane was just so angry that Ranma had to pretend to be someone else to spend time with her mother when Akane couldn't spend any time with hers...oh, yes, they knew a lot about Ranko...except what 'Ranko' might have to say about it.

"An' o'course now she knows 'Ranko' was never real an' she wasted a lotta time on a girl that wasn't real," Sayuri heard the tightness in Ranma's voice, Oh, she's hurting... "An' now we...we never go shopping anymore, we never spend time in the kitchen together anymore...I'm just her son Ranma now, and Ma... It's a 'man's job' t'raise a son, so she just kinda hangs around, supervisin' and lettin' pops do whatever he wants. Don't matter that I don't wanna spend time with that lazy, good fer nuthin'...panda."

Abruptly Ranma blinked and looked up, like she realized she was spilling her story to two people who may as well be strangers for all she'd interacted with them in the past beyond the barest pleasantries exchanged at school. She grabbed a napkin off the dispenser on the table and blew her nose, "I guess...when you came up and said all the things you did an' it was just the same things goin' round in my own head and..." She sighed and slugged back the rest of her hot chocolate before shrugging Sayuri's jacket off. "Anyway, thanks for the hot chocolate an' listening," she held out the jacket to Sayuri, "I guess I'll see you at school...'nless the Tendos kick me out after they find out 'bout this."

They didn't even need to look at each other to confirm their next action. The two of them surged out of their seats and rounded the table, pinning the smaller girl between them in a hug. "ACK! What the...?!" sputtered Ranma, "What's goin' on?! What'd I do wrong?!"

Sayuri chuckled even as she felt a few tears trying to sneak out the corners of her eyes, "Oh, silly girl! You didn't do anything wrong, we messed up!"

Yuka sniffled a bit, "So badly!"

"What?!" squawked Ranma, "You just said what you did 'cause you didn't know 'bout the rest! It's okay, I don't blame you, really!"

Sayuri sighed and took a step back, keeping her hands on the redhead's shoulders. Yuka took her cue and stepped back just enough to give them room to move but near enough to clearly be part of the moment. "Ranma," began Sayuri, "We should have known the rest. If we weren't so caught up in Akane's...well, we can talk about that later, but if anyone at school should have known better, it'd be us."

Ranma's neck flexed back like she was avoiding a strike, "What does that mean?!"

"You're looking at," Yuka said with a bit of showman's flair, "The only two..."

"As far as we know," interrupted Sayuri.

"...lesbians in a dating relationship at Furinken High."

Ranma gave off all the comprehension of a toddler being explained quantum theory.

Just then, the clock 'tower' in the middle of the food court chimed 11:30. Sayuri made a snap decision and hoped her girlfriend would agree with her, "Come on, Ranma, I'm buying us all lunch. We need to talk, and hopefully make up for not seeing we had an uncracked egg this whole time."

Ranma squinted at her as though trying to discern some hidden truth, "What are you talking about?!"

~~~

Read the rest at AO3

[i-eatdirt]

vent time!

(TW for s/h, transphobia, biphobia, panic attacks)

So I have this friend, lets call her A. I met A in September 2021,and at the time I was a bit tentative to be friends with her because she was saying some things that were kinda red flags, but I didnt have any friends at that time so i was a bit desperate.

Fast foreward to October 2022, We're friends now. There's also 2 more friends, C and E. At this point A has said a few more things and im getting a bit worried. We have a project to do, and i had an amazing idea. we had to make a camping menu for 3 days and make it fancy (it was nutrition/health class). I make my menu and A tells me she hasnt started it yet and it was due the next day. She then asks if she can copy some of my ideas, and okay. I'm kinda famous in my friend group for letting people copy off me. So yeah, i told her she can copy as long as its only a few things , cause im really proud of this project. She then takes it from me and goes to do her work, but when i ask for it back she refuses to give my work back to me. Now im upset so I ask again, but then i see her work and she copied LITERALLY EVERYTHING, right down to the drawings.

Then I get really mad, so i start yelling at her. Then A gets mad and we start arguing. E finds out and starts getting upset at A, and I can feel a panic attack coming on, so i leave and go for a bit of a walk. When i get back, C has found out, and i can hear them talking about me. I use varying pronouns woth my friends, and i think i was they/them at that time. (Im afab)

Anyways, A goes "I dont know why she's so upset! She let me copy her work!" And E corrects her on my pronouns (like the amazing friend he is), then A says "so what if I get her pronouns wrong? Its not the end of the world!"

that really triggers me, so i leave again. This goes on for a few days, and ive calmed down, so E, C, and I decide to confront A. C takes the lead, since they're our resident therapist friend. We ask her why shes such a crappy friend this year, and turns out theres some stuff going on with her family, her parents are probabaly getting a divorce, her moms boyfriend is abusive. I mean, okay, most bullies do what they do because they're being bullies, but she still has no right being so mean.

We had a LONG discussion and decide were not gonna assosciate with her anymore. So we havent really talked in a while.

But about a week ago, she comes up to us and comes out as bi. Then she explains that her friend is being rude to her because of it, and wants to talk about it because all of us are queer. So we talk a bit and then she asked if there was any chance we could be friends again. We talk about it and decide that yeah, okay, we'll give it a try. There was also a part in November where we all thought she was gonna die because she had some lung problem and she needed to be 'put down' (I don't know what its called for people), but thats not really important.

It was okay for a week, until today. Everything was fine, her friend Z (the biphobic one) had made up with her, our friend groups decide to merge a bit.

For a bit of context, while we were taking a bit of a break from A, E came out to C and i as trans. He uses he/they pronouns.

So anyways, E decides to tell A, which goes about as well as you'd expect. (This is all by notes btw). basically, E tells A, A writes 'youve got to be kidding me' but scratches it out, E shows me, E says somthing, A says he's been influenced because me and C are both trans and that trying things isn't always good, E shows me again, I immediately validate him and tell him she can go fuck herself, E and A pass some more notes I don't read.

Then A says something like 'i dont see how thats rude, i didnt say anything bad' and I make the mistake of saying 'no, literally everything you said is extrememly rude'. Then A gets mad at E for showing me, and everyone starts shouting at eachother.

After, C and A talk for a long time (again, therapist friend), then C comes to me and E to ask what happened, but they don't know anything we havent already told them.

A also made me self-harm back in november, and was being really rude about religions, gay men, and black people/POC.

Anyways um thanks for reading if you got all the way down here.

[thatdykepunkslut]

Follow on from the other anon, gotta know now, what's the worst (or just notably offbeat) date you've been on?

Off the top of my head, well ok this was probably more of a hookup than a date but my ex said he (his parents blame me for him being trans which is hilarious to me) wanted to hang out and listen to a mutual friend's dj set twitch stream*.

I get there, find out the stream isn't for another like 2 hours. So he's like "omg let's watch inside by bo burnham this like changed my fucking life" **. So I sat through it like '[ex] literally started talking to me bc he recognized my anarchist flag pin as I walked by, how is fucking inside by bo burnham a revelation to him.' But we finished the movie and then went up to his room and watched the stream (which was fucking epic, Greystar is the best producer in Portland rn shoutout to my bestie Greystar!) and then made out afterwards to New Order. Then he walked me home with a neck so bruised it look like he'd survived a hanging and I was decently battered myself, exactly how it should be.

Sounds decent enough, right? Well the next day I was going grocery shopping with the two of my exes that I live with (this was while they were still dating each other) and we get to the parking lot and the one driving suddenly breaks down crying bc they're overwhelmed and very stressed bc the other one is a jackass (I swear my taste is usually much better this just happens to contain our 2 mutual exes that suck) and I'm trying to help them calm down.

But then MY partner texts me and is upset that I hooked up with my ex again. Ordinarily this would've been fine but the ex crying in the car ALSO dated that ex and had talked about him one of the times my partner was over like 6 months ago before they'd forgiven him for a lot of stuff. So my partner's perception of him was as a sociopath serial homewrecker. Which, to be fair, would be totally accurate if sociopathy was a real thing and not just an arbitrary word for people society doesn't like. And so trying to deal with all this shit at once I promise to everyone involved not to hook up with him again.

That night he then asked if I wanted to try out blood play sometime. Honestly it would've solved a LOT of issues in the local queer community if I'd taken him up on that offer but oh well it happened at the height of my blood aversion and I'm not one to break more than 2 promises simultaneously.

There was also the time I nearly had a massive falling out with an ex who'd I'd stayed friends with (funnily enough they're the partner from the first story) because of some miscommunication about a hookup with a girl who made me watch Attack on Titan while she gave me head but that was somehow significantly easier to resolve.

Footnotes, because fucking hell apparently this needed footnotes:

*(later found out actually not a mutual friend, MY friend can't even read his name anymore he was such a jackass to them)

**(his life was also "changed" by the third time he did acid when he suddenly realized other people have feelings, which he then promptly ignored anyways)

[handmedowncj]

Queer Anachronism in Our Flag Means Death

WARNING: OFMD SPOILERS!

.

We need to talk about anachronism and queerness in Our Flag Means Death. One of the funniest parts of OFMD is the creative use of anachronism. Instead of dutifully following historical accuracy like many other period pieces, OFMD plays into campy anachronism for the sake of the joke. In the year 1717, Oluwande wears Crocs on the beach. Roach hits Izzy with a deli sandwich. Stede reads his crew Pinocchio, a story not written for another 150 years. OFMD far from invented comedic anachronism, (Monty Python, A Knight’s Tale, etc. have also fully committed to the bit) but OFMD has unleashed anachronism on a far more powerful frontier: queer imagination. By releasing itself from the chains of “but that didn’t really happen,” OFMD creates space for queerness yet unseen in period pieces, especially comedies. Queer people have always used fiction as a method to represent stories lost to the ages (think Portrait of a Lady on Fire), but OFMD takes queer representation to a completely different stage by committing to the anachronism and fully imaging alternative ways of being.

Jim obviously represents the real historical phenomenon of people assigned female at birth dressing and living as men on pirate ships, but instead of deliberating over how these people might possibly identify today, OFMD imagines a world where Jim uses they/them pronouns, and no one blinks an eye. In this queer playground of a world before modern transphobia but with addition of modern trans identities, Jim allows the audience a peek at what the world could look like. Jim has a romance, a revenge plot, a tragic backstory, all completely distinct from their identity as a nonbinary person. The creation of nonbinary identity as a non-issue is so funny, but it is also radical. The radical potential of imagining nonbinary people outside of transpobia cannot be overstated, and we need to talk about it.

Stede’s reconciliation with Mary turns the tragic marriage trope on its head. Instead of marriage ending a queer episode in one’s life, as it often did in reality and often does in fiction (again, Portrait of a Lady on Fire) or alternatively, falling into the misogynistic trope of the evil wife, standing between a queer love story, Stede and Mary speak openly about their respective lovers. Throughout the entire show, when faced with queerness, the show dares to ask: why not? Oluwande is literally in Crocs, so why wouldn’t we imagine queer liberation that includes wives not as stand-ins, but as allies and accomplices in the creation of queerness? Breaking the rules of history and television and narrative, we imagine a world where a gay man can conspire with this wife of arranged marriage to fake his death so they both live happily ever after.

Knowing (as we do from David Jenkins’ tweet where he told everyone to follow the writers) that at least 4 of the 13 writers on OFMD are nonbinary people of color, it invokes the queer of color perspective on scenes that anachronistically look at race as well as sexuality. During my personal favorite scene of the show, A British Navy officer tells Frenchie to be “quiet, slave” and to stop his “uppity” behavior, and he gets a knife through his hand as a result. In any other show, the fact that the Black members of the crew had to pretend to be servants to trick the Navy would likely have been an unfortunate necessity (if there were any Black pirates included to begin with!) but OFMD treats that racism as a reason to blow up the entire ruse and just start killing people. Because why not? Why imagine a world full of fanciful pirates and gay romances if they still have to bow to racism? And the next time they meet the aristocracy, the trope is flipped further, with Olu pretending to be a king in a trick that ends with all the other servants/enslaved people on the ship riding off into the sunset while their supposed masters die on a ship in a blaze. I won’t get into the INCREDIBLE indigenous representation in Episode 2, since much of that is actually not anachronistic and rather correcting historical falsehoods, the depictions of race in OFMD are delightfully anachronistic and intrinsically queer.

Honestly, OFMD can only be understood as the result of finally giving QPOC a seat at the table, and that is why it’s been the top ranked show for five weeks, and #RenewOurFlagMeansDeath has been trending on twitter for just as long. I am so grateful to have a show that allows queerness to play and thrive in whimsical, but also serious and heart-wrenching, settings.

[jaskiersvalley]

Cookie Cutter Boyfriends

The bakery wasn't new to the area but Jaskier was constantly surprised by the variety of people who came and went. There were a couple of regulars but fewer than he'd anticipated. Some people he wished would come back, others he was glad to see go. However, the two beefcakes that just walked in, Jaskier prayed to any listening deity that they would be back repeatedly.

"What can I get you gents?" Jaskier asked with his most winning smile.

Eyes like molten honey scanned the selection and Jaskier wanted to tuck the strands of white hair behind the man's ear to see his face better.

"Cookies. The personalised ones."

"A fine choice," Jaskier trilled and pulled the tray out. "I can put any name or message on there for you. Even a phone number, if you want to give it to a special someone."

So maybe Jaskier was flirting and hoping for a number from the man for himself. But it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"Write Eskel on one," the man said, carefully spelling out the name while the other smiled at him indulgently. It had Jaskier's heart fluttering at the sweetness.

"And what shall I put on yours?"

"You should put a heart on either side of Geralt's name," Eskel piped up with a snicker. He got an elbow in the ribs for it but didn't seem to mind.

Obliging, Jaskier did as told, curling the most perfect hearts he could onto the cookie. Done, he popped them in a box and put them on the counter by the till. "Anything else I can do for you today? Does your, uh, friend want anything?"

Geralt's eyes widened before saying, "He's my boyfriend."

Of course he was, the two looked beautiful together and Jaskier sighed internally. However, he couldn't help but note the look horror on Eskel's face. Hopefully he hadn't accidentally helped Geralt out himself and his boyfriend when they were trying to keep things a secret.

"Well, good for you both!" Jaskier mustered up a smile and nodded at the small rainbow flags by the till. "I sometimes do flag cookies if the mood strikes. Usually on a Friday."

The transaction was processed in silence and at speeds. Jaskier could only watch as the two bundled out of his bakery and, as soon as the door closed behind them, Eskel was asking Geralt something, face torn between despair and entertainment. If Jaskier could trust his lip reading, he could have sworn Geralt had said something along the lines of "I panicked, okay?".

Somehow, Geralt and Eskel became semi-regulars. They didn't pop in on a specific day each week but they were bound to appear either independently or with each other. Each time they did, Jaskier watched them with heart eyes. Eskel was broad, almost apologetically large but kind and gentle. He was quite the sight to behold but Jaskier had an even softer spot for Geralt who really looked like he needed to relax. So, whenever he came by alone, Jaskier slipped an extra cookie in his bag or asked him to be a taster for a newer cupcake flavour.

It was all going well until Geralt came into the bakery with someone new. Another well-built, handsome man but with a sharp edge to his energy. He made a beeline for the display case by the till.

"Please don't knock on the glass, it scares the muffins," Jaskier said by way of greeting and got a bark of a laugh.

"I'll be careful, don't you worry. It's Geralt you need to keep an eye on."

Which Jaskier diligently was. Well, he was checking out Geralt's backside. Tearing his gaze away, he cleared his throat.

"I'm glad Geralt has brought a friend along today."

"Friend?" The man stood up straight with a hand over his heart. "Geralt, what have you been telling people? I'm his boyfriend!"

Which just didn't compute. Geralt had called Eskel his boyfriend. The mild panic of figuring it out was interrupted by a low growl of "Lambert" that was both a threat and fond exasperation.

"What might people think?" Lambert cried out dramatically. "Are you ashamed of our love?"

A hand clamped on the back of Lambert's neck and Geralt stood next to him, not letting go. "Jaskier, a couple of dark chocolate and ginger cookies please and a tray of lemon muffins."

Hastily putting everything in boxes, Jaskier tried not to let his imagination go too wild. Maybe Eskel was Geralt's boyfriend but so was Lambert. It wasn't unheard of really. It gave hope to Jaskier that they might take a liking to him and invite him home for a wild night. He could only watch as they walked out and the first thing Geralt did was cuff Lambert on the back of the head.

Things only got more weird. The next time Geralt was in, he was trailed by another man. Lithe, seemingly on the edge of bursting out giggling and he made a beeline for the counter.

"You're Jaskier, right?" The man held a hand out. "I've heard so much about you! I'm Aiden, Geralt's boyfriend."

Face schooled into something carefully blank, Jaskier nodded. "A pleasure to meet you."

"I think the pleasure is all mine." The wink was followed by a blatant once over and a low whistle. In the background Geralt closed his eyes, jaw twitching as he visibly counted backwards from ten. This time Aiden was the one who asked for a dozen cookies with an array of pride flags on them, two of each, pan, bi, ace, nonbinary, trans and demi. Oddly, the polyamory one Jaskier had started making since meeting Geralt and his boyfriends was left unrequested. The two left and Jaskier rubbed at his temple, trying to figure out just how four incredibly attractive men had found happiness with each other.

Only a week later Jaskier was waiting for a customer to make up his mind. He was the most silently intense man Jaskier had ever encountered and he really wished he'd hurry up and leave. Alas, he was taking so long, looking over everything in the display cases like the choice was of the utmost importance.

"I'll take two cherry and almond slices."

Cutting said cake, Jaskier was relieved and hoped that once the man had gone, he'd not be back again. The sound of the bell above the door had him looking up and Geralt stood there, alone for once. However, he eyed the man by the counter with a closed off expression which remained as the man took his slices and walked past Geralt, shoulders brushing.

"Geralt.

"Cahir."

It was awkward and Jaskier tried not to pry. But curiosity won out. "Another boyfriend."

From the door Cahir laughed. "He wishes."

For a moment Geralt stared at the ground before squaring his shoulders. "They're not my boyfriend. They're dating Eskel."

Immediately Jaskier adjusted his internal monologue to reflect the new pronouns. Though what Geralt just said made no difference.

"Are they a paramour to your polycule?"

"No." Geralt shook his head firmly. "Cahir and Eskel are a couple. So are Lambert and Aiden."

Not understanding, Jaskier wet his lips and cast a glance around. His eyes landed on a familiar group on the sidewalk outside the shop, making no attempt to disguise the fact they were all watching. Cahir and Eskel were leaning shoulder to shoulder as they munched on their cake. Meanwhile Lambert leered and Aiden sent him a thumbs up.

"I'm not sure I understand," Jaskier said. "I thought you said they were all your boyfriends."

Feet shuffling on the spot, Geralt cleared his throat. "Lambert and Eskel are my brothers." Which made even less sense and Jaaskier hummed, desperately trying to understand without asking whether Geralt really just admit to being in an incestuous relationship.

"I'm not dating any of them."

But you said-"

"I panicked." Geralt was watching Jaskier intently. "You were cute, flirty and I panicked. I wanted to ask you out."

A giggle bubbled out of Jaskier. He couldn't quite wrap his head around it but that wasn't a problem in the moment.

"Well then, how about a personalised cookie, on the house?" He grabbed Geralt's favourite and, with a flourish, wrote his own name and number on it, dotting the 'i' with a heart. Handing it over, he smiled. "I told you these cookies were great for phone numbers."

Outside a cheer went up as Geralt's family decided that the outing had been a success.

[slytherinnbitch]

Day 30: Pride

"So who all are going tomorrow?" Harry asks his usual friend group. Everyone responds with a yes and how is that possible?

"Uhm, I'm sorry did I miss something?" He asks incredulously.

"Maybe our coming outs," Pansy comments from beside Blaise and he looks at Draco for confirmation and he shrugs.

"Maybe we all can come out to each other? I don't think we ever did that properly." Neville suggests and everyone agrees and so it begins.

"I'll start then?" Pansy suggests and before anyone can respond she is talking again, "I'm a raging lesbian, if there was ever doubt to my homosexuality then I would like to apologise." She smirks at them and all of them laugh loudly at that.

Blaise goes next, "Pansexual!" he declares proudly.

"You mean anyone who even shows a slight interest?" Draco quips and gets swatted on his head for that.

"As if, darling. It's the other way round, everyone falls over their feet for me." Blaise preens and Pansy shuts them both with two mild stinging hexes.

"Okay me now!" Draco squeals and Harry shakes his head fondly, "I'm bi. And ready to die." Draco smiles cheekily at his own joke and Harry shakes his head. What did he do to get this bloke in his life?

"Oh, I always thought you're gay." Ginny comments and many of them nod agreeingly.

"Nah, bi." Draco waves them off and it's Harry's turn.

"Well I'm gay." Harry rubs his neck as he looks around.

"Was I really the only one to think that Harry was bi and Draco was the gay one?" Theo asks and by the looks of most of his friends, no most of them thought the same thing. Well, it's not like he ever came out properly or anything. He just started dating Draco and let people assume whatever they wanted to. Maybe it was a bad decision to not include their friends. Maybe.

"Girls nah!" Harry exclaims and Ginny frowns and exclaims, "Hey!"

"Gin, as much as I love you. You are a lesbian yourself and in love with a mysterious blonde. Much like me, so shut it." Harry says goodheartedly and Ginny makes a face at him but shuts up.

"Well, you all know I'm Trans and probably a demisexual. Not really sure about that," Neville says next and then adds as an afterthought, "I like boys though."

"Really, darling? No one would have guessed via how you are in a relationship with a bloke, now would they?" Theo quips and the rest of them chuckle.

"Well I'm gay through and through," Theo says next and kisses Neville on the lips as if to show that.

"Agender and asexual." Luna declares next and this is someone all of them knew since Luna was the only one to officially come out to everyone of them.

"And mine." Ginny says possesively beside her and kisses her cheek. "I'm lesbian, as my dear ex just pointed out not five minutes ago." She smirks at him and he flips her two fingers.

"Gay,"

"Gay." Seamus and Dean say one after the other. It's not like they ever looked at anyone else since Dean and Ginny's breakup. He still wants to know the actual story behind that one.

"Well, so," Ron starts and everyone looks at him in unison, he looks a bit red but that can he the light as well. "I uh recently discovered that I am bisexual." And everyone looks shocked. Harry is pretty sure he is staring with his mouth open, but he can't make himself look away.

When was his bestfriend going to tell him this? He sorta feels betrayed but how-

"I came out to Hermione a few months ago and well that's it I guess." Ron states, and Harry thinks he is missing a vital part somehow.

"So who was it?" It's Pansy who breaks the silence.

"Yeah that's right, Ron. Who was the bloke or non binary person who finally made opened your eyes towards the other genders." Blaise inquires as well.

Ron is now red in embarrassment so it's Hermione who answers, "Well, love can I then? Since you don't seem like you can talk in the next hour?" Ron nods his head resigned and Hermione smiles her cat-ate-the-canary smile. Oh this is going to be good.

"Well, it's the same person who might have instigated it years ago but Ron had been quite oblivious that time. Much like you and Cedric, Harry." Something in her voice tells Harry that she is giving a clue, to maybe Harry exclusively because the others still look clueless as ever.

And then clicks and holy shit-

"Victor Fucking Krum!" Harry says out loud and it makes sense with all the obsession and everything that he say in his fourth year.

"That's right! Ron saw Krum a few months back, he was in Berlin for the new shop there and he came across there and I got a floocall taht very evening, he came through and told me through his haze." Hermione smiles at her husband and messes his hair slightly, "Just imagine my shock-"

"You thought it was Krum he was jealous of at the Ball but it turned out to be You!" Harry joins in and both of them stare at each other before bursting out loud at the situation.

"Alright, both of you. Stop laughing at my expense. I know the irony of the situation." Ron says at last.

"But Weasley, just think about it! We might have had Krum with us tonight as your partner and not Granger." Draco says and scrunches his nose in mock disgust and the couple sends a stinging hex each and Draco yelps.

"Harry, baby! Your friends are abusing me!" he whines and Harry tuts mockingly which gets him a glare.

"Aww, sweetheart. Maybe don't mess with these two then. One of the most successful business man who is so accomplished in hexes and jinxes and our Minister of Magic. Deadly couple these both."

"Oh come off it, as if you both aren't deadly as well. Head of DMLE and Head of Unspeakables. I think that makes you both more dangerous." Hermione replies and he shrugs in response.

"Yes, yes. All of you are bigshots and we are grateful for so much security among us. Can we proceed then?" Pansy asks and Harry blushes slightly at the implications.

Just Hermione is left.

"Well, I'm just going as an ally. Mostly for Ron but all of you are going to be there anyways so I took a day off." Hermione says and wow, Hermione and off days. That's almost unheard of.

"Wait, so almost all the heads of the Ministry are not going to be there tomorrow?" Blaise asks and six of them turn to glare at him but it's Harry who replies.

"Don't worry, Blaise. Our best officials will be handling everything in our stead. And it's not our fault that all of our friends have such a good role in the Ministry and outside as well." Harry gives him the look he gives the hitWizards when they tell him a basic criminal slipped from their hands. Blaise looks mostly unbothered by it.

"Was planning on making a attack on the Ministry tomorrow. Would definitely be successful." Blaise replies instead.

"Shut up, Blaise." The six of them, him, Draco, Hermione, Neville, Theo and Luna say in unison and it's a pictureworthy moment.

They steer back into what they will be wearing and which type of makeup would look the best.

In the last, Draco agrees on a goth look with a short dress and mesh slacks. Harry with golden eyeliner which Pansy says would look godlike on his brown skin, so Blaise is going to do the same. He decides on wearing just his flag colours, with clip-on earrings and everything.

Blaise agrees on full black, as usual. Just the make-up would be his highlight, according to him. Luna is going in a fairy dress, Ginny in shorts and a sleeveless camisole.

Pansy in her signature heels and dress but make it pride colours. Ron, after a lot of coaxing decides on blue trousers, a pink and violet custom made sweater which apparantly Hermione had ordered almost three weeks ago. That makes him beam at her.

Neville is going in his usual wool sweater and trousers and his flag around his shoulder. Theo is matching with him.

As Harry looks around the table at the end of the night, and sees the happy faces of his friends who has somehow become his chosen family. He just feels one emotion. Love.

Endless love.

Day 29: Coming Out || Day 31: Unashamed