#source: class of 09

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Mikey: I'm a whore for pizza. Mondo Gecko: You say you're a whore for everything. Mikey: Oh yeah, like what? Mondo Gecko: Bottled water, massages, internet, Burt's Bees, McDonald's french fries, Percocet, American Spirits, Blink-182... Mikey: We need to hang out less.

[horror-lady00]

Wednesday: You brought the supplies?

Enid: Yeah! Here's everything we need to... YOU BROUGHT ME HERE TO COOK POISON!?

Wednesday: Yes. What else is baking soda for?

Enid: I don't know!? BAKING!!?

[incorrect-losers]

Bev: I’m a whore for the cheesy biscuits

Stan: You say you’re a whore for everything

Bev: Oh yeah? Like what?

Stan: Bottled water, massages, internet, Burt’s Bees, Wendy’s french fries, percocet, American Spirits, Blink 182…

Bev: We need to hang out less

[madamefeu]

Myung-Gi: So you guys are in debt just like me?

Thanos: We are nothing like you.

Myung-Gi: Why not?

Nam-Gyu: Because while you’re cosying up to the pregnant lady, we’re gonna get fucked up on molly and make out

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Mu Qing: Bitch, give me a fry.

Feng Xin: Uh, how do we ask?

Mu Qing: Bitch, please give me a fry.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Remus: hey Logan, what's that book you're reading?

Logan: it's about black holes, why?

Remus: can I borrow that real quick?

Logan: ...sure?

Remus: I'll be right back!!

SMASH

Logan: what the fuck?!

Remus: that should do it!

Logan: why did you ask me what the book was about if you were just going to throw it at a window?!

Remus: oh... I don't know

[coffeeandjuice]

Peter: YOU BROUGHT ME HERE TO COOK CRACK???

Wade: Yeah? What else is baking soda for?

Peter: I DONT KNOW, BAKING?

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

Uzi: Why can’t we use MySpace?

Lizzy: It’s not an educational website.

Uzi: I learned how to break into a car on MySpace, how is that not educational?

[vaggietheangel]

Charlie:Do you two have...thoughts and feelings for eachother?

Angel:Uh I think Husk is grumpy

Husk:And I feel like Angel is getting on my last nerve.

Charlie:Not quiet what I was looking for. It seems like any time one of you gets into trouble, your always together. Is there something between the two of you that you may not realise?

Husk:What does any of that even mean.

Angel:She's asking if we're gay.

[sunnyskies281]

Klav: I’m a whore for the cheesy biscuits

Simon: you say you’re a whore for everything.

Klav: oh yeah? Like what?

Simon: Bottled water, massages, internet, Burt’s Bees, McDonald’s French fries, Percocet, American Spirits, Blink 182…

Klav:

Klav: we need to hang out less

[mysteriousdoll]

Codotverse Incorrect Jokes the second

I can’t help it, @voiceboss has infected my brain, he’s all I hear. (But fr tho no other Riddler voice sounds right, he’s objectively the right one-)

Jon: Just tell us what yer doin’ so you can go ram your head through someone else’s house!

Edward: He is being an idiot, Jonathan. Kind of like yourself just for asking what Alastor is doing.

Jon: Every time I fight, it just gets worse. This has got to run its course, Ed!

Alastor: ANYWAYS. The plan is to create a tune so loud that I explode!

Edward: Bravo, Alastor. That was stupider than I thought it was going to be.

Jon: Whaddya mean? Like a sonic boom? You can’t achieve that because attempting it alone would rupture your vocal cords.

Jervis: It sounds like you should get a new ambition, Alastor.

Alastor: No, I don’t want a new ambition, I like this one!

Edward: Just let him kill himself, Jervis!

Jon: He can’t even kill himself that way, he would need, at least, 17,000 kilojoules of theoretical energy to even maintain that note.

Alastor: So you’re saying it can be done?

Jon: No.

Alastor: Those are my favorite odds!

-

Alastor: Just go! I’m worthless! Leave my house and never come back!

Jon: No!

Edward: What do you mean no?! What’d you do that for?!

Jon: …I dunno- he told me what to do! He’s not the boss!

-

Edward: Jonathan, will you tell Joker to shut up?

Jon: Shut the fuck up, Joker, you’re a fucking asshole.

-

Jon: Is that where you’re gonna sit?

Edward: I’m driving, where else would I sit?

Jon: Trunk.

-

Jon: I… think I may have found a project of Oz’ I can get behind doing. Helping these cats and dogs. They should be rewarded for not being people.

Jon, softly, to a dog: I hate people.

-

Jon: Would you shut up for a second??

Edward: Would you get an education for a second?

Jon: Shut up! I’m tryna listen-

Edward: To what? All I hear is your horrendous mouth breathing.

-

Edward: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Harvey: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Jervis: I got distracted about halfway through.

Alastor: I got too lost in your eyes to hear what you said.

Jon: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

Edward: Oopsie, did you decide you wanted some??

Jon: Did you decide you wanted to shut the fuck up?

-

Jon: Look I’m tryna be fuckin’ nice here.

Edward: You know I don’t like spicy food!

-

Jervis: If you were to vacuum jello through a metal tube… well, I think that would be a neat noise.

Edward: I beg to differ.

Jervis: Then beg.

-

Jervis: You two don’t understand! My Alice and I are meant to be! We’re designated basherts!

Jon: Didju drink a thesaurus this morning? I don’t know what you’re saying…

Edward: Not that we don’t support your little dreams and all, but you’re really annoying us, so we’re gonna go ahead and hit you.

-

Waylon: What’re you hosing there, Jonny?

Jon: Jervis won’t leave so I’m spraying him with dirty brown water.

-

Edward: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Jon: (takes it, drinking all of it)

Jon: It’s perfume.

-

Edward: And I was like racking my brain on how someone like this could even exist— and then I found out, he’s from Metropolis.

-

Waylon: Don’t feel bad. You were just tryna do somethin’ nice for a friend, and it exploded in your face. Rather spectacularly.

Edward: Everything I do is spectacular. It’s a curse.

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Donnie, about Stockman: We're going to get murdered! We're going to get murdered by a guy who does not know how to tie his fucking shoes! Raph: Well, at least he can't torture us. Can't tie a rope either.

[getting-spooky-on-a-friday-night]

*Kevin and Radford are at a hardware store* Radford: bitch you can't even draw Kevin: I could learn! Kevin: Drawing's only hard if you're some fuckin' loser who works at a place like this. *Radford puts his items on the counter and Kevin throws a Reeses* Kevin: Ring that up for me. Rick, working as the cashier: Rick: Kevin: Radford: Radford: he has tourettes

[dawnthefox24]

Hazel:*is talking to Winn and Jasmine as she gasped* Dev has McDonald's! Hazel: Dev, where'd you get McDonald's? Dev: ...McDonald's. Hazel: Bitch, gimme a fry. Dev: Is that how you ask? Hazel:*has her hand out* Bitch, PLEASE gimme a fry.

[ribbonsfallaway]

ROBBY: And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it “Robby’s fault.” I’m Robby by the way, hi! What the fuck did I do to him?!?!

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Jiang Yanli: I believe the best course of action is writing a formal apology letter.

Jiang Cheng: Fuck that shit. Do you even know how I got involved with that bitch?

Jiang Yanli: Language!

Jiang Cheng: Do you even know how i got involved with that ho?

Jiang Yanli: ...a little better.