#source : criminal minds

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *points gun at Bruce*

Bruce: I don't believe in guns.

Jason: Well, trust me, they're very real.

[ralvezfanatic]

Y/N, to Spencer while straddling his lap: Glasses stay on during sex.

Spencer, who was about to take his glasses off: Oh, um.. okay.

Y/N: Wait I meant that as in my glasses. I'm blind as fuck.

Spencer, slightly confused: Oh. *moves his hand to take his glasses off*

Y/N: Wait no, keep yours on too, they're super hot

Spencer, still confused and now flustered: ...

[dcvidsrossi]

Rossi: Well, I can't help it! I'm Italian! Flirting is part of my heritage!

Reid: What does that mean?

Emily, passing by with a cup of coffee: It means his father was a slut too.

[church-of-lilith]

smoking on the roof? they’re absolutely about to kiss here

[lilliejareau]

derek: any of yall have special talents?

JJ: yes! i’m bilingual! :)

emily: fuck yeah i knew you liked girls

[harringroveera]

They never put Billy on speaker ever again

[frankiebirds]

i'm very normal about the team taking care of jj on the jet after 5x7. just. so normal. (lying)

[bambinafangirls]

*talking to william reid*

spencer, pointing to penelope: this girl here is more of a father to me than you

penelope: i’ve raised spencer since he was a pup

[dontsh0vethesun]

Emily: Can I buy you a drink?

JJ: I have a boyfriend

Emily, counting coins out on the table: He can only get something small then

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

EMILY: Reid, I’m lesbian.

SPENCER: I thought you were American?

(Source: Vine)

[military-newsboys]

Mav: You alright?

Hangman, holding a drill upside down: Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.

Mav, taking the drill away: Don't ever call me Dad again.

Hangman to Bob: How'd you think he'll feel about Mom?

Bob: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can run.

[angel-in-your-basement]

Sometimes self-care is just getting high and touching yourself while you watch Criminal Minds, ya know? 😌

[raphael-angele]

If Hades raised Nico and Bianca Part 24 (Halloween Edition)

Persephone, entering the room: Okay, I know some of you may know that Nico was a little nervous to go trick or treating this year. But he decided to go anyway

Patroclus: Great, what changed his mind?

Persephone: Well, you guys did, actually. I told him that maybe he should go out there and fight the monsters who try to hurt kids like him

Achilles: So he wants to be a demigod?

Hades: like the Jackson kid?

Persephone: Not exactly.

Nico (walking with Bianca): *entering the room dressed like Zagreus*

Zagreus: YAAAAAAAASSSS!!!

Nico: *giggles then runs over to him*

Zagreus: You look great, Nico! Let's put this on here *puts a small dummy sword on his belt*

Patroclus: He's official!

Bianca, whispering to Nico: Tell him

Nico: IT'S ALL CAPES!!

Zagreus: *laughing his ass off*

Persephone: *snorts*

Hades:

Achilles: *smiling to himself* ...no monster stands a chance

[dcvidsrossi]

Reid: You just drove through a stop sign without stopping?

Morgan: I'll stop twice on the way back.

[lilliejareau]

emily: if a beautiful girl disagrees with me i will immediately change my views. i have no principles.

JJ: maybe you should have principles

emily: you’re right maybe i should

[amekeii]

Criminal Minds Characters as Cocktails

SPENCER REID - ESPRESSO MARTINI vodka vanilla | coffee liqueur | brown sugar syrup | espresso

AARON HOTCHNER - OLD FASHIONED bourbon | sugar | angostura bitters | orange twist

EMILY PRENTISS - AVIATION gin | maraschino liqueur | simple syrup | lemon juice | crème de violette | cherry

DAVID ROSSI - NEGRONI campari | gin | sweet vermouth

PENELOPE GARCIA - PORNSTAR MARTINI vodka vanilla | passoã | passion fruit puree | pineapple juice | passion fruit half | prosecco

JJ JENNIFER JAREAU - GIN & TONIC opihr gin | yuzu tonic | lime wheel

DEREK MORGAN - MAI TAI dark rum | white rum | orange curacao | almond syrup | lime juice

PART 2