#incorrect cm

[spencestiel-michelle]

Reid: you should try taking him to a road with a dead end.

Derek: what. the fuck? 

Reid: why do you have a bandage on your head? 

Derek: i don’t wanna talk about it. 

JJ: Emily threw Derek at a stop sign.

JJ: she truly thought it would make him stop talking. 

Emily, sighs: it didn’t. 

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

Penelope Garcia core:

[lilliejareau]

“we listen and we don’t judge.”

penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.

morgan: bitch what?!?

emily: we listen and we don’t judge!

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Rossi: The task was to “Steal the Most Impressive Thing Possible”

Penelope: Emily, what did you bring in?

Emily: I stole Hotch’s wife. Come on in Haley.

*Haley enters the room and gives Emily a hug*

Emily: We went on a date. We had a magical time. I stole her heart.

*Everyone laughs*

Emily: Do you find that amusing, Derek?

Derek: I think that’s impressive.

Emily: You know what else is impressive? I also stole your girl.

*Savannah enters and gives Emily a kiss on the cheek and everyone laughs again*

Emily: Will, were you laughing?

Will: No, I don’t laugh

Emily: Oh, okay. Well it’s probably good that you weren’t laughing because I also took your wife.

*JJ enters and kisses Emily on the lips*

Will: *shocked pikachu face*

Emily: Oh and I’m not actually giving her back, JJ’s mine now. You should have taken better care of her I guess 🤷‍♀️

Emily: Reid and Garcia, I didn’t have the heart to do that to you guys

Reid: I’d like to see you try to steal my non-existent girlfriend

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

*Spencer zoned out*

Derek: What are you thinking about?

Spencer: How long i'd survive if you suffocated me with a pillow.

Derek: What's wrong with you?

Spencer: Do you want a list?

[forhappysake]

[amandasmoviess]

Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Emily: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Penelope: Socks are Feetie Heaties

JJ: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Spencer: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Derek: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Y/N: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Hotch: *annoyed* You’re all disappointments

[demonicbaby666]

Derek: How’d the doctors appointment go? Reid: Actually really well, she said I was super artistic. Derek: Kid… I think she meant- Garcia: Don’t you dare.

[dontsh0vethesun]

[BAU Chief Emily Prentiss walks over to your desk before taking a seat beside you with an expectant look on her face]

y/n: can i help you?

Emily: I finished all my work

y/n:

Emily, smirking: I think you know what I want

y/n, sighing: which one?

Emily, sporting a massive grin: snail

[y/n laughs while opening their drawer before pressing a sticker to emily's shirt]

y/n: snailed it

[crimimnal-mineds-part2]

Emily: when did you stop believing in Father Christmas?

Reid: I never believed in any fathers

Emily:

[spencestiel-michelle]

*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[lilliejareau]

spencer: you let your cat sleep in your bed with you?

emily: reid, i’d let him represent me in court

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

Reid: *sneaks into the house late*

Hotch: *turns in swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?

Reid: I was at a…foreign film festival with…uh…Y/N!

Reader: *also turns in swivel chair* Want to try again?

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Emily, crying laughing: JJ was on a conference call and I just heard her say the words “which part of the ‘No’ did you not understand - the ‘nuh’ part or the ‘oh’ part?”

Emily: She’s out here rejecting bureaucrats the same way she tells Michael and Henry they can’t have snacks 😂