#incorrect cm

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

They see him rollin', they hatin'.

[lilliejareau]

spencer, venting: i don’t know, i just tried so hard—

emily: I TRIED SO HARD AND GOT SO FARRRR

derek: BUT IN THE ENDDD

JJ: IT DOESNT EVEN MATTERRRR

spencer: and you all ask why i don’t talk to anyone..

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

[spencestiel-michelle]

Hotch: he’s our new agent? 

Gideon: he’s a genius with three phd’s, Aaron. very perceptive, very insightful, and very useful for our unit. 

*Hotch looks over at Spencer Reid* 

Hotch: he just knocked over all the coffee stirrers and i can see green dinosaur and pink striped socks sticking out his sneakers, Jason. 

Gideon: well, hey, he did fail his physical fitness exam and… you know, he wears socks, Hotch. 

Hotch: really? oh, great. that’s good. let’s hire him immediately, and give him a gun and budge right now. 

Gideon: excellent. 

Hotch: 

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Rossi: The task was to “Steal the Most Impressive Thing Possible”

Penelope: Emily, what did you bring in?

Emily: I stole Hotch’s wife. Come on in Haley.

*Haley enters the room and gives Emily a hug*

Emily: We went on a date. We had a magical time. I stole her heart.

*Everyone laughs*

Emily: Do you find that amusing, Derek?

Derek: I think that’s impressive.

Emily: You know what else is impressive? I also stole your girl.

*Savannah enters and gives Emily a kiss on the cheek and everyone laughs again*

Emily: Will, were you laughing?

Will: No, I don’t laugh

Emily: Oh, okay. Well it’s probably good that you weren’t laughing because I also took your wife.

*JJ enters and kisses Emily on the lips*

Will: *shocked pikachu face*

Emily: Oh and I’m not actually giving her back, JJ’s mine now. You should have taken better care of her I guess 🤷‍♀️

Emily: Reid and Garcia, I didn’t have the heart to do that to you guys

Reid: I’d like to see you try to steal my non-existent girlfriend

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

*Spencer zoned out*

Derek: What are you thinking about?

Spencer: How long i'd survive if you suffocated me with a pillow.

Derek: What's wrong with you?

Spencer: Do you want a list?

[forhappysake]

[amandasmoviess]

Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Emily: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Penelope: Socks are Feetie Heaties

JJ: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Spencer: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Derek: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Y/N: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Hotch: *annoyed* You’re all disappointments

[demonicbaby666]

Derek: How’d the doctors appointment go? Reid: Actually really well, she said I was super artistic. Derek: Kid… I think she meant- Garcia: Don’t you dare.

[emilyshotchrocket]

Hotch, on a team night out: I need to get something off my chest.

Emily: is it your shirt? Please do.

Garcia: I humbly second that statement.

Morgan: please don’t.

Rossi: I'm so close to going into my second retirement, I don’t know why I agreed to come out with you people.

[dontsh0vethesun]

[BAU Chief Emily Prentiss walks over to your desk before taking a seat beside you with an expectant look on her face]

y/n: can i help you?

Emily: I finished all my work

y/n:

Emily, smirking: I think you know what I want

y/n, sighing: which one?

Emily, sporting a massive grin: snail

[y/n laughs while opening their drawer before pressing a sticker to emily's shirt]

y/n: snailed it

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[lilliejareau]

emily: i am truly happy for you and your ugly boyfriend, i mean it.

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

Reid: *sneaks into the house late*

Hotch: *turns in swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?

Reid: I was at a…foreign film festival with…uh…Y/N!

Reader: *also turns in swivel chair* Want to try again?

[spencestiel-michelle]

Emily: at what age did you stop believing in Santa Claus? for me, it was six.

JJ: six.

Derek: eight.

Spencer: four but i pretended until seven.

Hotch: seven.

Penelope, teary eyed: … what? 

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Emily, crying laughing: JJ was on a conference call and I just heard her say the words “which part of the ‘No’ did you not understand - the ‘nuh’ part or the ‘oh’ part?”

Emily: She’s out here rejecting bureaucrats the same way she tells Michael and Henry they can’t have snacks 😂