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#criminal minds#shitposting#incorrect quotes#paget brewster#emily prentiss#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds memes#incorrect tweets#cm memes#cm texts#bau#cm evolution#cm incorrect quotes#incorrect cm#incorrect text posts
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Emily, crying laughing: JJ was on a conference call and I just heard her say the words “which part of the ‘No’ did you not understand - the ‘nuh’ part or the ‘oh’ part?”
Emily: She’s out here rejecting bureaucrats the same way she tells Michael and Henry they can’t have snacks 😂
#chaoticbau#incorrect criminal minds quotes#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect cm#criminal minds#cm#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#jemily
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#sarcasm and stiles#fanfiction#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect cm#incorrect Aaron hotchner#incorrect Penelope Garcia#incorrect Emily prentiss#incorrect Derek Morgan#incorrect Spencer Reid#criminal minds#cm#spencer reid#Derek Morgan#Emily prentiss#Aaron hotchner#hotch#Penelope Garcia#ssa spencer reid#ssa aaron hotchner#ssa derek morgan#ssa emily prentiss#Dr Spencer Reid
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spencer: you let your cat sleep in your bed with you?
emily: reid, i’d let him represent me in court
#criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds#criminal minds incorrect#criminal minds gone wrong#cm#incorrect criminal minds quotes#incorrect cm#cm incorrect quotes#emily prentiss#spencer reid#lillie jareau
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*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*
Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing.
Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen.
Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever.
Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n.
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*Spencer zoned out*
Derek: What are you thinking about?
Spencer: How long i'd survive if you suffocated me with a pillow.
Derek: What's wrong with you?
Spencer: Do you want a list?
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#criminal minds#criminal minds fluff#dr spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#bau x reader#emily prentiss#spencer reid fluff#luke alvez#agent prentiss#incorrect criminal minds quotes#incorrect quotes#bau team#jennifer jareau#derek morgan#david rossi#penelope garcia#incorrect cm#cm incorrect quotes#jemily#elle greenaway#jj jareau#hotchniss#aaron hotchner#text post#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanart
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Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Emily: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Penelope: Socks are Feetie Heaties
JJ: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Spencer: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Derek: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Y/N: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Hotch: *annoyed* You’re all disappointments
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Derek: How’d the doctors appointment go? Reid: Actually really well, she said I was super artistic. Derek: Kid… I think she meant- Garcia: Don’t you dare.
#criminal minds incorrect quotes#criminal minds incorrect#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds quotes#criminal minds#incorrect cm#cm#derek morgan#spencer reid#penelope garcia
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[BAU Chief Emily Prentiss walks over to your desk before taking a seat beside you with an expectant look on her face]
y/n: can i help you?
Emily: I finished all my work
y/n:
Emily, smirking: I think you know what I want
y/n, sighing: which one?
Emily, sporting a massive grin: snail
[y/n laughs while opening their drawer before pressing a sticker to emily's shirt]
y/n: snailed it
#emily prentiss#criminal minds incorrect quotes#incorrect criminal minds quotes#criminal minds incorrect#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect cm#bau incorrect quotes#emily prentiss x reader
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Emily: when did you stop believing in Father Christmas?
Reid: I never believed in any fathers
Emily:
#I’ve had this in my drafts since February happy holidays (mourning Halloween)#criminal minds incorrect quotes#criminal minds incorrect#cm incorrect quotes#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect cm#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid#emily prentiss#Reid and his daddy issues
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#criminal minds#shitposting#incorrect quotes#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds memes#emily prentiss#paget brewster#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#incorrect tweets#cm memes#cm texts#cm incorrect quotes#incorrect cm#cm#incorrect text posts
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*The BAU is at Home Depot*
JJ: *Falls in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*
Emily: *Spends the entire time picking up random stuff going, “what tf is this for?”*
Rossi: *Sitting on a display toilet waiting for everyone else to be done*
Derek: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*
Garcia: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*
Reid: *Gets lost from the group like 50 times*
Hotch: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*
#chaoticbau#criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds quotes#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect cm#jemily#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#derek morgan#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#david rossi#spencer reid#cm#cm crack#crack post#they’re so unserious#i love them
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Reid: *sneaks into the house late*
Hotch: *turns in swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?
Reid: I was at a…foreign film festival with…uh…Y/N!
Reader: *also turns in swivel chair* Want to try again?
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“we listen and we don’t judge.”
penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.
bau: we listen and we don’t judge.
JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.
bau: we listen and we don’t judge.
emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.
morgan: bitch what?!?
emily: we listen and we don’t judge!
#we listen and we don’t judge#criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds#criminal minds incorrect#cm#criminal minds gone wrong#incorrect criminal minds quotes#incorrect cm#cm incorrect quotes#emily prentiss#derek morgan#penelope garcia#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#aaron hotchner#david rossi#bau#bau team#lillie jareau#jennifer jareau
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Hotch: he’s our new agent?
Gideon: he’s a genius with three phd’s, Aaron. very perceptive, very insightful, and very useful for our unit.
*Hotch looks over at Spencer Reid*
Hotch: he just knocked over all the coffee stirrers and i can see green dinosaur and pink striped socks sticking out his sneakers, Jason.
Gideon: well, hey, he did fail his physical fitness exam and… you know, he wears socks, Hotch.
Hotch: really? oh, great. that’s good. let’s hire him immediately, and give him a gun and budge right now.
Gideon: excellent.
Hotch:
#cm incorrect quotes#aaron hotchner#jason gideon#cm#criminal minds#criminal minds fandom#cm fandom#incorrect cm#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect criminal minds quotes#criminal minds incorrect quotes#incorrect criminal minds quote#criminal minds incorrect#spencer reid#dr spencer reid
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