#cm incorrect quotes

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[lilliejareau]

spencer: you let your cat sleep in your bed with you?

emily: reid, i’d let him represent me in court

[spencestiel-michelle]

*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 

[incorrect-ralvez]

Derek, at Emily's funeral: I need a moment with her.

Everyone: Of course.

Derek, leaning over Emily′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Emily: No comment

[criminal-mindsincorrect]

Reid smiling at his phone, watching Bluey with headphones on

Emily, walking behind him : What are you watching ?

Reid, full panic mod, slamming his phone screen on his desk : P*RN. ADULT THINGS. BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME EMILY

[ralvezfanatic]

Y/N, to Spencer while straddling his lap: Glasses stay on during sex.

Spencer, who was about to take his glasses off: Oh, um.. okay.

Y/N: Wait I meant that as in my glasses. I'm blind as fuck.

Spencer, slightly confused: Oh. *moves his hand to take his glasses off*

Y/N: Wait no, keep yours on too, they're super hot

Spencer, still confused and now flustered: ...

[myanxietydemonaretootired]

Hotch: look at this team, we have everything. We have lesbians *points to Tara and Emily*, we have bisexuals *points to Spencer and JJ*, we have a guy who thinks he's straight *points to Alvez* we have a magical creature *points to Penelope*, we have trauma *points to a giant mirror*, and we have a tiny italian man *points to Rossi*

[reidxtrminds]

Hotch: I think we should adopt another kid.

Haley: No.

Hotch: Why ?

Haley: Because by "kid" you mean "adult from your team" and we already have four of those.

Hotch, holding up Spencer: Five.

[forhappysake]

[xervoxs]

Hotch*checking under the bed*

Hotch: see no monsters in here

Reid: and closet..

Hotch*opening the closet*: see..

Hotch: Emily?

Hotch: come out, now

Emily: i'm lesbian

Morgan*coming out of nowhere*: i knew it

Reid*screams*

Hotch: what the..

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[patrickispinky]

Emily: i can't find my pen. are you sitting on it again?

Y/n: no.

Emily: stand up.

Y/n: i don't want to.

Emily: why?

Y/n: *mumbling* because i'm probably sitting on your pen 😔

[lilliejareau]

“we listen and we don’t judge.”

penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.

morgan: bitch what?!?

emily: we listen and we don’t judge!

[spencestiel-michelle]

Hotch: he’s our new agent? 

Gideon: he’s a genius with three phd’s, Aaron. very perceptive, very insightful, and very useful for our unit. 

*Hotch looks over at Spencer Reid* 

Hotch: he just knocked over all the coffee stirrers and i can see green dinosaur and pink striped socks sticking out his sneakers, Jason. 

Gideon: well, hey, he did fail his physical fitness exam and… you know, he wears socks, Hotch. 

Hotch: really? oh, great. that’s good. let’s hire him immediately, and give him a gun and budge right now. 

Gideon: excellent. 

Hotch: 

[incorrect-ralvez]

Spencer: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Hotch made me get tested.