#cm incorrect

[xervoxs]

Hotch*checking under the bed*

Hotch: see no monsters in here

Reid: and closet..

Hotch*opening the closet*: see..

Hotch: Emily?

Hotch: come out, now

Emily: i'm lesbian

Morgan*coming out of nowhere*: i knew it

Reid*screams*

Hotch: what the..

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Spencer: *2 hours into a 6 hour flight* New fear unlocked: what if I put a pimple patch on and I eat it? This hasn't happened, just to clarify, but what if it did?

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[lilliejareau]

“we listen and we don’t judge.”

penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.

morgan: bitch what?!?

emily: we listen and we don’t judge!

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

[spencestiel-michelle]

Hotch: he’s our new agent? 

Gideon: he’s a genius with three phd’s, Aaron. very perceptive, very insightful, and very useful for our unit. 

*Hotch looks over at Spencer Reid* 

Hotch: he just knocked over all the coffee stirrers and i can see green dinosaur and pink striped socks sticking out his sneakers, Jason. 

Gideon: well, hey, he did fail his physical fitness exam and… you know, he wears socks, Hotch. 

Hotch: really? oh, great. that’s good. let’s hire him immediately, and give him a gun and budge right now. 

Gideon: excellent. 

Hotch: 

[shutupandwatchsmosh]

bau as text posts 2/?

[ex-t3rr3strial]

[myanxietydemonaretootired]

Hotch: look at this team, we have everything. We have lesbians *points to Tara and Emily*, we have bisexuals *points to Spencer and JJ*, we have a guy who thinks he's straight *points to Alvez* we have a magical creature *points to Penelope*, we have trauma *points to a giant mirror*, and we have a tiny italian man *points to Rossi*

[incorrect-ralvez]

Derek, at Emily's funeral: I need a moment with her.

Everyone: Of course.

Derek, leaning over Emily′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Emily: No comment

[xervoxs]

hotch: garcia, is everything alright? reid told me that someone is threatening you

garcia: what?

spencer: I saw this notification poped up at your screen today, someone like "I'll find you and cut of your whole family" and..

garcia: I FORGOT MY FRENCH LESSON

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Rossi: The task was to “Steal the Most Impressive Thing Possible”

Penelope: Emily, what did you bring in?

Emily: I stole Hotch’s wife. Come on in Haley.

*Haley enters the room and gives Emily a hug*

Emily: We went on a date. We had a magical time. I stole her heart.

*Everyone laughs*

Emily: Do you find that amusing, Derek?

Derek: I think that’s impressive.

Emily: You know what else is impressive? I also stole your girl.

*Savannah enters and gives Emily a kiss on the cheek and everyone laughs again*

Emily: Will, were you laughing?

Will: No, I don’t laugh

Emily: Oh, okay. Well it’s probably good that you weren’t laughing because I also took your wife.

*JJ enters and kisses Emily on the lips*

Will: *shocked pikachu face*

Emily: Oh and I’m not actually giving her back, JJ’s mine now. You should have taken better care of her I guess 🤷‍♀️

Emily: Reid and Garcia, I didn’t have the heart to do that to you guys

Reid: I’d like to see you try to steal my non-existent girlfriend

[velvetwilde]

What was the reason to look this damn hot?

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[lilliejareau]

rossi: enjoy the rest your twenties, kid! these are the best years of your life.

spencer: dave, i’m trying not to kill myself.