#soup diet plan

[vegan-nom-noms]

Coconut Gyoza Noodle Soup

[sunsparks6]

Grapes With A Cup Of Miso Soup

[shadedel]

Coffee and lemon for weight loss. Does it work in real life? Will coffee and lemon help you to lose weight? Do coffee and lemon burn belly fat? There are many “lose weight fast” trends on social media platforms that you can count on or even keep up with. But this curious trend has gotten a lot more traction than others. We are talking about lemon in your coffee to burn belly fat or drop weight. The hashtag #LemonCoffee has collectively gathered millions of views on social media. There are countless posts, before-after photos, and videos. Read more:

Lemon For Weight Loss

The trend of coffee and lemon for weight loss. In this step, we explore lemon for weight loss. Lemon water is a very low-calorie beverage. Lemon water is made from water mixed with fresh lemon juice. It can be used either hot or cold.

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: a screenshot of a YouTube video titled "How To Lose 15 pounds in 7 days with Peel-a-Pound Soup" by T-ROY COOKS. The preview of the description says "Are you wanting to lose weight quickly without exercise? This Peel-a-Pound Soup burns more calories digesting it than your body..." The thumbnail is a photo of the soup, which is a thin red broth with a lot of pale and green vegetables, nearly filling the pot to the brim.]

[Several screenshots of the YouTube comment section. Ryan M. comments "This will make your body release gases that have been banned by the Geneva convention".]

[Ebrill Owen: I did not heed the warnings of the comment section. After day one of eating this soup I was woken up in the middle of the night by a fart that sounded like Donald Duck ripping a phone book in half in a fit of rage. It made my cat jump off my bed and go downstairs to sleep lol I can't blame her]

[OverlyLethal: I've been scared to poop since I started eating this. What came as a blessing also came as a potential nuke that could destroy the U.S. I lost 25 pounds but if I keep eating this we could also lose the U.S.]

[Jtt Diana: I don't recommend this soup during the Coronavirus because there is a national shortage on toilet paper and that is also an essential part of this diet]

[Negasilver: Made this the other day and shared the recipe with a couple of my neighbors cause meat is getting a little scarce but there's still tons of veggies at the supermarket. Tasty, but we had cops coming by every hour for like two days straight because they kept receiving reports of shotgun blasts in the area.]

[Sock Puppet: I tried this soup and lost 7 pounds and ruined three pairs of boxer briefs. Thanks. Totally worth it.]

[the midimalist: step 1: "into a large dutch oven"

step 2: realize in hindsight he meant my apartment]

[Mark OByrne: Did you find that old paper recipe in an abandoned silver mine? There's a reason it was down there, you have no idea what you've done.]

[AJ: I ate this everyday for a year and lost a alotta weight. I lost so much weight I imploded. I turned into time itself]

[PAUL ELLIOTT: My farts are punching holes in the drywall.]

[Prositive: If you eat this soup, even your farts will have to fart]

[Hkm Khan: I made this soup and got eviction notice next day... now I don't have a home.]

[king grund: My grandmother makes something like this for the holidays..on a unrelated note her houses plumbing has been acting up]

[buck4life1: I ate this soup for a week and at Sunday church, I leaned over and told my wife, I just let out a silent fart, what should i do and she said, after we leave here, we are stopping at the store and getting new batteries for your hearing aids.]

[T B: This recipe is a conspiracy hatched by plumbers.]

[Matt Curtis: Here is sit, broken hearted, ate the soup - then went and sharted...]

[Nickbiz247: It's now day 59 of the quarantine. I realized I gained 10lbs. I could no longer fit certain clothes so I decided to take action. Magically, this video was recommended to me. YouTube has a canny way of reading your thoughts. I suspect they have psychics on staff...who knows.

So I decided to risk my life by going to the grocery store like Will Smith going outside in I Am Legend. I knew the infected were out there but these ingredients in the video I needed for the right sustenance. The store was almost empty. What a sigh of relief. I rushed to get my items and leave.

I get home and cheerfully prep the ingredients. I decide to add garlic and cayenne pepper...I shouldn't have done that. I cook everything to perfection and when it was done, I marveled in my masterpiece.

I then scoop some of this heavenly greenery or so I thought into a bowl to partake in the first feast of my weight loss journey. I finish it within 5 mins. It tasted amazing. I decide to go and relax....and then it started.

What I thought was a simple poot turned into a nonstop marathon of flatulence. I felt like one of those deep water methane reservoirs erupted and started releasing everything. And the smell, oh God the smell. The garlic didn't help. It smelled like a massive herd of animals crawled in my ass and went extinct. Then started rotting. I'm afraid to sleep in my room with the doors closed out of fear I'll end up in a gas chamber like they do in basic training in the military. I can't even walk past my stove out of fear my sphincter will release what could only be the end of my existence. Lord help me. I should've came to the comments first. Now for the next several days I'll be producing more natural resources than a deep sea well pumping natural gas.

Y'all pray for me.]

[TN: Thank you. My pregnant wife farted out our son early thanks to this soup.]

[Reviews of the sugar free gummies. The first review has the name, title, and rating cropped out, and says: I would consider myself a prudent man.

I'm not given to bouts of outspokenness or craving attention, and certainly not one to rock the boat. On any given day, I can be found reading a crime novel on a park bench in the middle of the city, soaking in the opulence of nature while nibbling on my tuna fish sandwiches and fending off the voracious gulls and squirrels that threaten to spoil my repose.

This is me. Law-abiding and introspective.

Which is why it came as a shock to me to find myself incarcerated because of the Devil's Confectionery.

Satan's Sweetmeat.

Lucifer's Lozenges.

The horror that is known as Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears.]

["Selah" gives a 5 star review titled "Umm, smells like hell". The review says "This was the day my life changed. I bought a bag of these delicious Satan snacks, and they took me back to the past. It took me back to the day Pompeii erupted, instead of lava there was hot brown liquid feces exploding out of what could be the black pit of hell. I was sitting on my toilet, sweaty AF, It felt like I was in a sana after drinking vegi free combucha while being punch in the gut by Arnold Schwarzenegger, the worst part was didn't have any toilet paper I questioned myself if I should use my dog to while my sweaty crack of hell, but I'd rather shoot him befor I put him through that hell like place.... all in all 10/10 great gift, would by again".]

["Nicole P" gives a 3 star review titled "One of the worst days of my life". The review says "I ate half of a 6 oz bag I picked up at CVS. They changed the color of the bag. I didn't know. I spent 24 hours in the fetal position on my bathroom floor repeating "please God, why?" I still don't have an answer."]

[A 5 star review from an "Amazon Customer" titled "Five Stars" and says "help me".]

["Trevor Raborn" gives a some star review titled "Better than Miralax!!!!" The review says "I was in a financial pinch, having just paid our taxes. With what little money left under the seats of our couch, I was able to scrunge up around 10.00. As you can tell, its been years since we've cleaned our couch. 25 years to be exact. So $10 dollars is a reasonable find.

As I went to the store to purchase some medicine, I had to only the $10 from the couch, but Miralax was $11, with tax, but these gummies, free 2-day shipping, I knew this was a win-win.

Only waiting just 2 days, the prized gummies made their way to my door. Just the opening smell from the bag, made my bowels rumble like a UCF fight. I knew this would do the trick. Forget Miralax, this stuff is the JAM!

My intestines want to specifically thank Haribo and their Anti-Sugar stance. These outperform any modern medicine when you need to be "on-the-go"."]

["Vicenta Morris" gives a five star review titled "Five Stars" and says "GOOD CLEANSER" in all caps.]

["Jimmy Beans" J gives a 5 star review titled "A delicious treat that should be enjoyed only after the following preparations have been made". The review says "A delicious treat that should be enjoyed only after the following preparations have been made,

1- make sure it's Friday and cancel all weekend plans, for good measure go ahead and call in for Monday

2- call the city and make sure your water bill is paid in full

3 visit your local hardware store and purchase a sink attachment for your garden hose as toilet paper will quickly become too painful to bear

4 give advanced notice to family members, roommates and neighbors unless you're keen on trying to give birth to a crushed watermelon while convincing your local swat team that both the screaming and demonic noises are from you and a dynamic entry would only bring about more needless suffering

5- redo your restroom in motivational pictures, ones with slogans like courage is fear hanging on one minute longer, the only easy day was yesterday etc, I also advise posting up the suicide prevention hotline number or having a dedicated friend or other support group to walk you through the low times.

Lastly I must strongly urge you to consider why you are thinking of buying this product, is it a sense of deep self loathing? A reckless sense of adventure? Are you researching dysentery? perhaps you are the drill sergeant of some extreme commando unit seeking to break down the enemies will to fight by airdropping these into their midst. If you are just curious then let me say oh fellow human, beware for this life is dangerous enough, next time I want a thrill I'll skydive without a parachute, that way at least I'll have a chance."]

["Nicole L Boley" gives a one star review titled "Diarrhea while driving". The review says "One of our beloved physicians brought a bag of gummy bears to work to share with the staff one night shift. Not realizing they were the famous dreaded sugar free gummies multiple staff throughout the shift grabbed a handful of gummies while passing by and each have their own near miss stories but this is mine...

The next morning I have to run an errand about and hour and a half from my house. On the drive home down a curvy back country road my stomach suddenly begins to cramp and I feel the immediate urge to empty my bowels. Frantic, as I realize Im not going to make it home I start searching for a place to pull over. The end of a gated logging road perhaps? Im speeding along, arching my back, practicing lamas breathing techniques, anything to stall the inevitable. I pass the first turnoff that has a sheriffs car parked at the end and keep searching with sweat pouring down my forehead and bubbling noises in my guts that drown out the heavy metal on the stereo. Finally! I spot the end of a brushy trail and whip my truck sideways, thrusting the drivers side door open and leaping from the seat to scurry around to the other side. I turn around with fingers in waste band about to drop trow and look up to my horror realizing it is indeed the end of a driveway and the folks outside are staring down toward me probably wondering what this crazed individual is about to do. For several moments I seriously considered just completing the task and running away but couldnt imagine my parents seeing the cell phone video of myself on social media later in the day. I scurried back around the truck and halfway there my ability to hold back the hot lava flow of liquid stool from making a hastey exit out of my spasming rectum was lost and I crapped my pants right there on the side of the road standing next to my truck. My bowels cramped up and expelled every drop of liquid from my body. At that point Im now standing there with leggings full of hot liquid stool running into my shoes and debating on what the next best course of action should be. Of course I have no extra clothes or any towels in my truck. What do I do? Do I call someone? Do I drive home the remaining 20 minutes? After a few moments of self reflection I decided to strip off my shirts and lay them on the seat of my truck and get inside. It was a rather uncomfortable drive home with the windows all down and skin burning on the backs of my legs and buttocks. It was one of the longest 20 minute periods of time Ive ever experienced in my entire life. I alternated between crying and laughing at the situation and checking the speedometer like a paranoid drunk thinking I cant possibly get pulled over right now because what would I say? Yes officer, I crapped my pants. Thats what that smell is. Tears streaming down my face. I finally arrive home, screeching to a hault in the driveway in front of the open automatic garage door I triggered as I was drifting the curve onto my road. Holding the bottoms of my pant legs closed tight I awkwardly stagger into my house and immediatly into the shower fully clothed.

Fast forward 3 weeks and Im at work hearing about the other incidents and the light bulb clicks on......

35 years old and I had to reset the clock for the "how long since you've last crapped your pants" countdown...

Thanks Dr Hanson

Lesson learned........make sure the gummy bears are not the sugar free version".]

ive been doing a lot of youtube recipe binging lately so i was recommended this video and i was like fuck it diet soup why not

and it sounded pretty tasty so after the vid i scrolled down to see what people thought of it, and i just really need to share with you all what the comment section is like

and for the one that broke me:

[ghettogirly]

[🕷️] 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒!

authors note: please reblog and like so others can see! Hope you enjoy!!

[🕷️] 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄:

🕷️ - He would be very keen on spending time together one on one especially during his time in the cartel where it’s unknown if there will be another tomorrow.

🕷️- I think he would love staying inside his villa with you and enjoying a nice home meal while watching a movie.

🕷️- He would love giving you self defence lessons and training you in the gym, especially since that’s his element. This man would have a whole training and diet plan already made for you.

🕷️- Armando would try take you out every now and then, maybe to go shopping or for a nice dinner just to give you a feeling of a relatively normal life. He wouldn’t do this often though, probably only doing this for anniversaries as he wouldn’t want to place you in any danger.

🕷️- He would enjoy coming back home after some business he had to handle whether that was securing a deal or carrying out an execution, to see you sleeping in your shared bed. This would give him a sense of security and also spend some quality time of sleeping together.

[🕷️] 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇:

🕷️- He would not be someone to do public display of affection. The thought of someone seeing him be vulnerable with you would probably cause trouble.

🕷️- The only display of affection he would do would be longing stares at you if you walk past him, sneaky winks or he would hold your fingertips as you talk to him, making sure to hold eye contact with you.

🕷️- It would be a struggle at first to make him initiate affection as he grew up without parents. An incarcerated mother and a dad he grew up to hate? A whole lot of issues.

🕷️- However, he would eventually warm up to the idea.

🕷️-Behind closed doors, he would love wrapping his arms around you and hugging you as it gives him the satisfaction of protecting you.

🕷️- He would also love giving you slow, passionate kisses. (depending on his mood) The type to make you and him both, longing for more.

🕷️- however if he’s angry, you already know he’s going to be grabbing your face and forcing you into a heated, passionate kiss. His hands exploring your body as he releases his frustrations.

[🕷️] 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

🕷️- He would openly compliment your superficial things such as your clothes, hair or makeup.

🕷️- However, getting something beneath the surface level for him would be tough.

🕷️- He’s overly critical and cynical of the world, believing evil things happen to everyone and that you never really know someone’s true self.

🕷️- However, his perception quickly changed when he met you.

🕷️- You showed him something different, a breath of fresh air. He loved the way you carried yourself, holding yourself with grace but not hesitant to assert yourself.

🕷️- One day he would say, “I really admire your character baby.”

🕷️- You would look at him in shock, not hearing those words before and quite frankly caught off guard at his sensitive words. Nevertheless you would smile and reply, “I learnt it all from you.”

[🕷️] 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄

🕷️- This wouldn’t really be a big one for him.

🕷️- I believe he would expect you to be able to do things for yourself, he wouldn’t be able to care for you, himself and his cartel as well. He would get frustrated at your lack of ability to be able to care for yourself.

🕷️- However, if you ever get hurt or sick you can bet on it that he’s taking care of you.

🕷️- He wouldn’t let anyone help you, only him.

🕷️- He would change your dressings or help you take your medication. Even bring you soup for your sore throat.

🕷️- He would help clean up around the bedroom and help you do basic tasks again.

🕷️- He has maids for the rest, so what’s the point.

[🕷️] 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆:

🕷️- Armando wouldn’t really get you surprise gifts, he would much prefer to give you money and allow you to buy your own.

🕷️- He would surprise you with an amount of cash and then you can buy what you want.

🕷️- Sometimes he’ll come back with a new necklace for you that has his initials or the name of his cartel, just to let other know that you’re claimed.

🕷️- If it was your birthday, you can bet the whole mansion would be decorated and there would be a private jet awaiting you, ready to take you on a holiday resort.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr Neil,

I want to share how I feel about Sherryl the supermodel from Good Omens. You've answered a question previously when someone felt that her representation was lacking empathy (re the visual effects note in the script book, although the scene was cut), and I want to offer my thoughts to help people who felt that way about Sherryl.

The book (Good Omens, not the scripts, which I haven't read) plays with dark topics and makes them absurd and fun, aiming the jabs at the systems that (mis)guide or harm people (there are Beliefs, the People who Believe them, and the odd ways of living that make sense to them). Famine's D-Plan sums up the diet industry and a culture of starvation: of course we don't laugh /at/ Sherryl, we understand (because of everything the novel sets up) that like every other human she does her best with the frameworks she's got. It's empathetic, because that's what Good Omens is. Understanding that let me reframe the knee-jerk reaction I had on my first read of the scene in the book.

[For the TV show, though, as you've explained in the past, certain things had to be adapted to the time. I wonder sometimes - because I know that you do these things well - how you felt about approaching Sherryl nearly 30 years later.]

I think the trouble for me was that the scene in the book felt cruel at first. Now, I think 'A skeleton in a Dior dress' beautifully sums up the sacrifice of her humanity to become New York's top model. It's death dressed up - that's how such extremely-ill supermodels *should* appear to us if only we were unblinkered. One should see plainly the actual violence in an emaciated person's appearance. Maybe growing up with early 2000s aggressive body-shaming British TV shows and an overweight mother of Sherryl's generation as well as personal experience of anorexia made the 'skeleton' image feel cruel, now-overdone and recognisable to the nastiest unhealed bits in my psyche.

I think the frightened human animal in me initially recoiled from the dehumanisation. The pit of me jerked at the descriptions of Sherryl that felt like real insults, pulled straight from mainstream body-shaming media of my formative years. Of course, Good Omens predates this - thin was in, religiously, and the scene was subversive then - but that was my initial bodily feeling, not a thoughtful response. I describe it to illustrate where the challenge was, after we've gone from skinny worship in the 90s, to domestic skinny enforcement, to skinny shame, to wherever we are now in the popular orthorexic fitness culture and clean-eating minefield etc etc. Starvation dehumanises, and Sherryl was sick to the point of being inhuman - the scene under a microscope might feel complicit in dehumanisation to the sensibilities of teens and young adults today (for the same reason that people in Trafalgar Square can't see England), but within the book it humanises Sherryl by showing you plainly what awful thing has happened to her.

What the book did for me was let me delight in a sense of humour that makes difficult things totally absurd and therefore perfectly understandable. It told me, everyone is doing their best (to the best of their understanding), and when the fun-poking poked at my own pressure points, it said, lovingly, yes, you too. Many things about the book are like laughing with a friend or receiving a warm hug - it makes the big things so silly, and shared, and okay.

Thanks :) x <3

I am glad that is how you saw her. That is how we saw her. (I'm reminded of the only time I was ever at a high fashion event, where I found myself profoundly shocked by the incredible thinness of the models, and how sorry for them I felt, and how I wanted to feed them soup and stew and sandwiches. And of a high fashion model I knew a little, when she went out with a friend of mine, who told me that some girls she knew used heroin to stop the hunger pains, injecting themselves between their toes, and later I learned that my friend broke up with her when he learned she was a heroin addict.)

[relentlessly-tired]

Reasons for me to get skinny/rewards/plans+anti binge.

To motivate/trigger myself :)

REASONS:

To look good in all clothes

Abs

Skinny legs

Smaller boobs

Pretty face

For my (gymbro) boyfriend

To be carried easily

Bikini's in summer

Confidence

To look better than the other girls

To be happy

To be more comfortable running/working out in public

To be seen as "small" and "petite"

To be as skinny as my sister

GOALS/REWARDS:

55kg: Hair and skincare stuff

52kg: bikini

50kg: septum peircing

48kg: new clothes

PLAN:

Workout:

Do some form of intense enough cardio everyday e.g. running, cycling, stairmaster.

Keep steps up AS WELL as cardio, minimum 10k, but aim for 15k

Bodyweight workout every-push ups, planks, pull up progressions

Weight training in the gym 2-3 times weekly

NEVER eat school lunch

Avoid eating out

MEAL PREP!! (Chickpea salads, chicken breast, soup, porridge, cut up carrots, etc.)

DRINK A SHIT TON OF WATER (when I wake up, before eating, during eating, after)

Big cup of tea every after school and then after dinner.

Utilise coffee, gum, mints

No fizzy drinks

Diet:

NEVER finish dinner

NEVER eat anything after dinner

NO SWEETS OR JUNK FOOD UNLESS PLANNED IN ADVANCE (only junk acceptable is a) pastries from bakery or b) chocolate on occasion.

AVOID bread, pasta, noodles etc.

Eat breakfast and eat throughout the day TINY small portions.

OMAD on occasion

DO NOT BINGE AT ALL EVER

FOODS TO PRIORITIZE:

yogurt- especially the protein kind. Good if craving something sweet.

fruit- avoid bananas (binge food)

Vegetables- carrots as snacks, incorporate other veg throughout day e.g. salads

eggs- specifically boiled

lean meats

MEAL IDEAS:

Breakfast:

Protein yogurt (may add sprinkle of cereal and fruit if extra hungry)

Boiled eggs

Carrots and hummus

Fruit

Little bowl of cereal

Fruit smoothie

Porridge

Lunch:

Chickpea salad

Boiled eggs

Carrots and hummus

Protein yogurt

Fruit

Smoothie

Boiled veg and chicken

Snacks:

Carrots

Yogurt

Fruit- apples, oranges, berries specifically

Ham slices

Chicken slices

Mini mini bowl of cereal

DO NOT BINGE:

Think about everything. Think about how unhappy you are with your life. Think about how long you've been doing the same old shut for? Don't you want it to be over? Don't you want to finally get what you want and be happy? Don't you want to finally be able to move on? Think about how long ago you could've gotten there if you hadn't binged all those times?

Think about where you could be so soon if you just stick to it, for a short while. Food is always there. Food is around you all the time in abundance. You ALWAYS have the choice to eat. So CHOOSE not to.

Don't make excuses. NEVER make excuses. There are no reasons that you binge other than the fact you want to. You are in control. You are always in control. Every time you binge, that is your choice. Your doing. Every time you reach for that bread, you could just as easily remove yourself from the situation. Walk away.

Hunger is only temporary. You will always get to eat again. Remember your reasons. Think about your future. Think about your rewards. Not binging will always be worth it.

You have the ability to be skinny and lose the weight so do it! I know you can!!

Hw: 68kg

Sw April 2024: 60kg

Cw may 2024: 57kg

[poiseandprogress]

Poise & Progess: Formulating My Meal Plan

Firstly, I am not an expert or dietician or whatever. With the help of Chat GPT I’ve compiled a list of meals and snacks that I can incorporate into a meal plan and that will allow me to reach my fitness/body goals.

I will also mention that I mainly follow a pescatarian diet but I am not entirely strict with it. I find that cutting out meats, not including seafood, works well with my body and digestive system but I don't mind a grilled chicken salad every once in a while.

So below you'll find my balanced meal plan grouped by meals.

Certainly! Here's the balanced meal plan grouped by meals, without the days specified:

Breakfast:

Scrambled eggs with spinach and tomatoes

Greek yogurt parfait with fruits

Oatmeal with bananas, nuts, and cinnamon

Whole-grain pancakes with yogurt

Whole-grain toast with scrambled eggs

Smoothie (spinach, banana, berries)

Overnight oats with almond milk

Avocado toast with fruits

Lunch:

Grilled chickpea salad with quinoa or rice

Chickpea stir-fry with noodles or rice

Lentil and vegetable soup with a roll

Spinach and feta stuffed bell peppers

Quinoa and black bean bowl

Shrimp wrap with a side salad

Tuna or chickpea salad with whole-grain bread

Snacks:

Greek yogurt with nuts and honey

Hummus with carrot and cucumber sticks

Cottage cheese with mixed berries

Apple slices with peanut butter

Handful of almonds and dried fruits

Celery sticks with almond butter

Dinner:

Baked salmon with broccoli and sweet potato

Lentil burger with mixed greens and veggies

Grilled shrimp with quinoa and veggies

Tofu stir-fry with brown rice

Grilled fish with sweet potato and asparagus

Baked fish with roasted veggies and couscous

Stuffed bell peppers with a side salad

If you'd like, you can feel free to mix and match these meal ideas to create a balanced and varied eating plan that suits your own preferences, goals, and dietary needs.

[letsquestjess]

To Be Held (Crosshair x GN!Reader)

Summary: Crosshair struggles with the tremor in his hand, but you are there to comfort him.

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: Brief descriptions of nightmares and depression. Contains some spoilers for season 3!

-- -- -- -- --

You rounded the kitchen with a tune on your lips, collecting packets and paper bags and arranging the fresh produce onto the chopping board. A potato rolled from the pile, bouncing off the outstretched elbow you extended in an attempt to slow it. As it tumbled from the worktop, a hand darted out. 

“Nice catch,” you said to Crosshair as he straightened and picked out a few other vegetables from the hefty bundle. 

“I can help get these chopped up,” he offered, rolling up his shirt sleeves. “Although I have to ask, are you trying to feed the entire island?”

“Just your brothers,” you returned.  

The sniper chuckled to himself, lips curving into an endearing grin. He and his brothers had grown up on a diet consisting mostly of ration bars, protein drinks, and whatever meagre soups and over-baked breads the cafeteria served. Upon arriving on the picturesque island, the sheer variety of food options available had daunted him, but the more he tasted, the more he acclimated to the distinct tastes and innovative pairings. 

It was how he had met you. Market days on Pabu were an island-wide event, and Wrecker, ever eager to delve deeper into the culinary arts, dragged him along. His excuses ranged from wanting to experiment with new seasonings to needing help with meal planning, but he eventually admitted he just wanted to spend time with him. From that moment on, Crosshair attended every week without fail. 

Some months into their visits, you bumped into each other. Quite literally. After steadying the overflowing bags in your arms and assuring him you were unharmed, you both exchanged sheepish smiles and apologies, and parted ways. He saw you again the week after, and the week after that, your eyes meeting in silent recognition, until Omega intervened and nudged her brother to approach you. 

The thought of your first encounter comforted him, immersing him in a daydream that shattered the instant his hand began to tremor. He grumbled and clenched his fists, resolved to shove the annoyance aside and focus on assisting you with dinner. 

But you noticed. You picked up the irritated huff and the flex of his fist. “Are you all right?” you asked, setting down the knife and scooping the chopped vegetables into the simmering pan of water. His silence hung heavy, and you stopped what you were doing. “Cross?” 

“I’m fine,” he replied, gruffer than he intended. Squeezing his eyes shut for a brief second, he refocused and carried on slicing the washed potatoes into chunks. 

Over the last few weeks, you had observed a subtle tremor in his hand and a faraway expression. It never lasted for more than a few minutes, but you sensed he was confined in that desolate cell once more, on that unrelenting experiment table. He had spent countless months trying to regain control, confronting his past rather than avoiding it. 

The risk of a relapse always remained, but you wished he wouldn’t endure them in silence and solitude. Omega’s meditations had offered a small reprieve, and the therapy he stuck at untangled the knotted vines in his head, allowing him to process his thoughts. But it was getting to him again, wriggling its way back in like an insidious vibroblade slicing into a disintegrating shield, smashing the defences he had fought so hard to maintain. 

As he brought the knife down, the blade grazed dangerously close to his finger. He jerked away and hissed a curse. 

“Okay,” you said with a gentle but resolute edge, taking control before the situation overwhelmed him further. “Sit down.”

“Dinner needs doing,” he insisted. 

“It can wait. Sit, love, please.” 

Reluctantly, the sniper snatched a dining chair and sank into the plush, patterned cushion tied to the back bars. 

After wiping the vegetable juices from your palms on a dishcloth, you brought his hands to your chest and pressed firmly, grounding him in the present and to you. “Can you feel the rhythm of my heart?” you asked. 

Crosshair nodded, wearied gaze lifting to meet yours. “Yes.”

“Close your eyes. That’s it. Concentrate on your breaths.” 

Within a few rounds of deep inhales and slow exhales, the trembles relaxed. You squeezed his hands, thumbs caressing the dry, calloused skin on his fingers. 

“I am so proud of you,” you said, softly, patiently. “You have fought to be where you are, Cross, and you never gave up. No matter how challenging it became, or the obstacles that stood in your path, you persevered. If only you could see yourself how others see you, you would understand how brave, and caring, and dedicated you are.” 

His eyes blinked open, and a subtle smile reappeared. “You missed ‘stubborn’ off that list.”

“How could I forget?” you chuckled.

He brought your closer by your hips and settled his cheek on your stomach. You were warm. Familiar. When the shadows crept in, you emerged as a shining beacon, restoring his sense of self and holding aloft that steadfast belief in him. Despite no longer being controlled by the Empire or serving in the army, the fear of relapsing haunted him, and he dreaded he would become that again. Cold and cruel to those he loved, and alone for the rest of his days.

“If you needed more therapy, or wanted to try something else, I am right here with you,” you told him, stroking the thick, silvery tufts he had been growing out. “Whatever you need.” 

Expressing himself had never come naturally to Crosshair. He attempted to reach out to his siblings after Tantiss, and in time you. In his mind, he recognised the intensity of his emotions, the words he longed to express, but he couldn’t get them past his mouth. It required an immense amount of effort for him to let his guard down, and in moments like these, when he wanted to vanish into some secluded corner, it became even harder. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against your stomach, his grip tightening as if you might slip away. “I just feel so…” 

Sacred. Frightened. Weak. You knew how that sentence ended. You’d heard it often enough on the nights he woke doused in sweat and hauling in trembling breaths, grasping for anything to bolster him in his safe reality. 

“It will all be okay,” you soothed, cradling him to you. “You are not alone. You have me, and your siblings, and an island of people here who cherish and appreciate you. We love you more than you know, and we will do whatever it takes to get you the support you need.”

“Right now,” he muttered, “I only need to hold you.” He nuzzled closer, burying himself in the solacing lift and fall of your stomach and the steady tempo of your heart. Each beat called out to him, and he eagerly listened. 

“I suppose I could allow that for a little longer,” you said brightly as he gazed up at you, the tattoo around his eye crinkling with a tired but hopeful smile. 

There were difficult times ahead, more nightmares, more lapses, more quiet in which his mind returned him to those days as a captive of the Empire. But through it all, he remained hopeful, and that was all you ever needed him to be. 

TAGLIST (Message if you’d like to be added, 18+ only)

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[vegan-nom-noms]

Vegan Zuppa Toscana

[rottenpumpkin13]

what if it's bring your own lunch day at soldier? the cafeteria is closed and they aren't allowed to leave what would they bring?

Genesis: He orders overpriced Wutaian takeout from his favorite place in Sector 8 because he values his sleep and didn't want to spend an extra hour this morning preparing lunch.

Sephiroth: Is smart and brings a self-heating hotpot meal that only requires water to activate the heating packet. Is everyone staring at him as he sets the (many) ingredients on the table? Yes. Is everyone staring when the heat packet and pot start simmering? Yes. Is everyone staring because he consumed the entire hotpot in under two minutes? Also yes.

Angeal: Brings a very nice sandwich made with leftovers, a salad, extras for people in case they forgot their lunch, and a giant thermos of soup he goes around offering to people.

Zack: The only one who understood the assignment. He brings lunchables, fruit roll-ups, string cheese, pudding cups, yogurt tubes, chips, cookies, PB&J sandwiches, poptarts, and he fully plans on trading.

*Lazard sees Zack with his collection of treats* Lazard: Are you kidding me? Zack, this is hardly a diet fit for a SOLDIER. You need protein. You need vegetables. Do you really think men like Sephiroth are eating like this? No! *Sephiroth approaches Zack* Sephiroth: I'll trade you a ramen pack for a poptart. Zack: Two ramens. Sephiroth: You're scamming people. Zack: I'll throw in a pudding cup. Sephiroth: Deal. *They exchange* Lazard:

[openmindcrimecook]

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[mooredanxieties]

Chinese Herbal Silkie Chicken Soup

A popular immune-boosting elixir

Most often, a main ingredient of this soup is the Chinese Yam, a recommendation substitute for potatoes (a Nightshade vegetable) for those with autoimmune disorders because of its anti-inflammatory properties

Hannibal notably left out this ingredient in the soup he gave Will.

Treatments for Anti-NMDA Receptor Encephalitis:

Immunomodulatory/immunosuppressive therapies

Anti-seizure medication

Autoimmune Protocol Diet (AIP): a diet tailored to reduce inflammation, pain, and other symptoms caused by autoimmune diseases

Of the 5 ingredients Hannibal listed, 4 of them are potentially harmful for those with autoimmune disorders:

Wolf berries ("Goji Berries") - A 'Nightshade Vegetable', recommended to avoid if you have an autoimmune disorder

Red Dates ("Chinese Dates" or "Jujube") - The extract has been found to interact with some seizure medications

Ginseng ("Ginseng Root") - Studies have shown it can boost the immune system and exacerbate autoimmune diseases at the same time

Star Anise - Recommended against, according to the official AIP diet for people with autoimmune conditions

Hannibal enjoys creating situations where Will feels compelled to seek comfort (whether physical or emotional) from him, because he enjoys when Will needs him. He enjoys providing Will comfort, and he feels no guilt causing Will to need that comfort.

His actions are always multifaceted.

Giving Will a comfort food that often holds friendly/familial/romantic connotations and ALSO causes Will to be more dependent on him is a 'killing two birds with one stone' plan.

Sweet and cruel in equal measure

[sv5hive]

frosting makeover | sv5

pairing: sebastian vettel x reader

warning(s): mentions of drinking, written at midnight, barely proofread

word count: 937

note: a bit short and a bit late but ofc i had to post something for my favourite old man's birthday!!

masterlist!

you had been hard at work in the kitchen since the early hours of the morning while your husband made himself useful at the factory. it was one of the most important days of the year and you had every intention of making it a grand event for the love of your life.

sebastian had said that his birthday wasn't a big deal and that he didn't expect anything special. but if he had learnt anything from his time with you, it was that you believed everyone should be treated like royalty on their special day; after all, it's only one day out of three hundred and sixty five.

in an ideal world, sebastian would have the day off and you would wake him up with breakfast in bed but nevertheless, you would make the most of a bad deal and instead whip up a three course dinner including a birthday cake fit for a king. so, not long after sebastian had pressed a kiss onto your forehead to say goodbye before heading out for work, you got out of bed and readied yourself to create a birthday extravaganza for the man who loved you like no other.

after gruelling away hard at work, you had finally finished decorating the cake with a crude portrait of sebastian with his car and started cleaning up the remaining frosting and stray sprinkles scattered all over the counter. glancing at the clock, you realised he would be home any moment so you decided to change into a more appropriate outfit and set the table ready for you two. as you placed the wine glasses down on the table, you heard the front door click shut as sebastian kicked his shoes off.

"schatz? i'm home! where are you?" he called out from the hallway.

"in here!" you replied back, standing in the dining room in front of the product of your love and labour.

"there you are- what's all this?" he questioned, the corners of his lips curling upwards.

"happy birthday, love! you didn't actually think i wasn't going to make a big deal out of this, right?"

you couldn't hold yourself back anymore as you practically threw yourself into sebastian's arms and planted a kiss on his lips.

"you look even more beautiful than you do normally."

"yeah, yeah, you can compliment me later. now come on! i've been waiting a while already and the food's going to get cold if we keep standing around like idiots!"

you pulled him towards the table decorated with candles, swan napkins and a single rose in a glass vase in the centre. ushering sebastian into his chair, you poured two glasses of wine for yourselves and shortly brought out the first course to begin dinner.

"liebe, this is incredible! how long did this take you?" he asked, tasting a spoonful of the soup.

"oh it's nothing, seb. this is the least i could do when you treat me like this all the time."

he reached across the table and grasped your hand in his before pausing to speak.

"it's not nothing but thank you, schatz, really. i would be completely helpless without you in my life."

in the dim candle light, you dined and got increasingly more drunk throughout the night while discussing everything from this morning's news to workplace gossip. eventually, it was time to get the cake out and have the birthday boy blow out the candles.

as you quietly sang happy birthday to sebastian, he took the chance to engrave this moment into his brain - not everybody gets to spend their birthday with their soulmate but he was one of the lucky ones. he didn't ever think he would be part of the minority who could say they had truly found their person but the universe had other plans for him. so, as you gently encouraged him to make a wish, he simply asked whatever higher being that may exist, to never let it end. he wanted you and your silly birthday cakes with way too much frosting to be allowed on his strict diet for the rest of time.

"tell me, what did you wish for?" you hounded him while removing the candles and cutting a slice for each of you.

"i can't tell you otherwise it won't come true! sorry, schatz." he replied, a sly grin growing on his face.

"what? are you serious? we've been together for how many years now and you still won't tell me what you wish for every year." you playfully called him out as he took a bite of the cake.

"i don't make the rules, okay! hate the game not the player. besides, i wish for the same thing every year and it seems to be working so i really can't tell you."

"oh really? okay, if you say so. how's the cake?" you asked, eating your own slice.

"perfect. everything's perfect, you are perfect. thank you, again."

"i'm glad, you deserve nothing less."

just as sebastian was about to reply, he felt a cool sensation land on the side of his mouth.

"are you serious, schatz?"

"hm? i don't know what you're talking about. oh, you have a little something there by the way." you said, looking up from your plate and pointing to your own face.

"oh, do i?"

"mhm. here, i can get it for you." you quickly stood from your side of the table and kissed the corner of his mouth and returned to your seat. you could only resist for a few seconds before swiping frosting onto the tip of sebastian's nose.

"oh that is it!"

[strv2bepretty]

New diet plan

DIET - OMAD/intermittent fasting (choose one of 2 meals)

Eat in front of people so they don't get suspicous

Breakfast -

Options:

protein shake

fruit

eggs

milk

veggies

Dinner -

Options:

protein shake smoothie

eggs

salad

fruit

soup

(max: 600 cals allowed per day, and 700-800 on re-feeding times when metabolism gets slow)

(allowed to: drink black coffee & tea, chew gum)

Workouts (do all)

5 min warmup (no jumping) - MadFit

Get abs in 2 weeks - Chloe Ting

10 min break

Pilates workout at home - Shirlyn Kim

10 min break

9 mins thigh & legs workout - Shirlyn Kim

1 hour break

walk 30 mins - 1 hr

MOST IMPORTANT - DRINK 64 fl oz OF WATER EVERYDAY