#sorry i'm an emotional person lol
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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IT'S OCTOBER!!!!
I have no idea what's happening out there, I'm living in this isolated semi offline bubble to avoid spoilers and it's killing me, but WE'LL BE PLAYING THE NEXT DRAGON AGE *THIS* MONTH. AFTER TEN. WHOLE. YEARS. HOW FUCKING CRAZY IS THAT. IT STILL DOESN'T FEEL REEEAL.
#it has been such a long journey...#I can't believe we're here#I'm sorry I swear I have not abandoned this place 😂#it's just that fandom space and internet in general right now is.. a lot#and there are so many voices and opinions and.... I just want to play this game lol#I'm too old and too tired#it's a miracle we're getting this#maybe I'm just too easily pleased and I have my fair share of criticism but.. I'm just so happy it's real and singleplayer story-focused..#if things like anthem and jedi fallen order didn't happen the way they did we would've gotten a *very* different game#and there are a few other very personal reasons why this game means so much to me..#so yeah.. I'm just happy and excited and nervous and emotional 🥹🥹🥹#ONE MONTH
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You know, I think my favorite thing about Gale's whole "watching you in battle makes me horny" scene is like. He's not wrong. A brush with danger does in fact increase one's desire for "other forms of stimulation". Studies have shown that being in situations that cause a rush of adrenaline, be that going on a roller coaster, seeing a scary movie, walking across a swinging suspension bridge, or something else, increase feelings of attraction. It's literally a Known Thing that adventurous stuff is great to do on a date because it will most likely make you more into each other.
Idk, I just love that his come-on is not only extremely nerdy, but also scientifically accurate. Feels correct and I'm glad they did it lol
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#meta#i would pull up the studies about it but frankly it's nearly midnight and i'm halfway through a bottle of wine#and i do not feel like looking them up right now lol#sorry to get all couples therapist on main i was just going through that scene again and it really tickles me#like yes please have my sweet nerdy man hit on me with only the most research-backed of statements please and thank you#for those curious btw it's thought the reason for this is because physically speaking all arousal is basically the same#whether it's fear or horniness or excitement or whatever it's all an adrenaline response#so our brains use context clues to determine which emotion to pair with the sensation#and if you pair something scary/thrilling with a possible romantic interest your brain can get its wires crossed#and decide that instead of feeling this way because of the scary thing you feel this way because your hot for the person you're with
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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Hiiii not sure if anyone's asked this yet but any advice on how to improve on art & anatomy? I use to draw a lot wayyyy back in high school but then stopped because of life getting in the way but now I really wanted to get back into art but realized my art isn't as good as it use to be & I never really cared too much about studying anatomy so all my anatomy/proportions are really wack & I'd like to get better at it. Hope you're having a good day!!! 💞💞💞
HI!!! i dont have any formal training in anatomy nor have i really done any studies, so unfortunately i think i can only offer general advice, but hopefully you can still find it helpful! here's what i'd recommend based on my own experience...
focus on proportions BEFORE anatomy! nailing down the size/length of each body part in relation to each other will give you a good foundation before getting into the specifics of anatomy, since you can practice this with simple shapes (circles, boxes, tubes, etc.). then practice anatomy/build on top of that, rather than trying to figure them out in parallel
practice from real life observation/references (ex. figure drawing)! even if you want to draw stylized, it'll be much more helpful in the long run if you study from real life. you'll be a lot more informed in how body parts actually connect to each other or how they move. observe observe observe! take pics of yourself/watch how your body moves--you can be your own most accessible resource, and a mirror and camera can be your best friends
find a way to keep yourself motivated to practice anatomy! everyone says that you only get better with practice and time... and it's true! but i can understand that sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself. if you ask me, draw your favorite characters :) it's literally all i do HAHA. my mentality is that... if i'm drawing something that i like then the practice feels less of a chore lol
#sorry these are kind of vague T_T i dont have a ton of technical knowledge...#i draw mostly based on intuition formed by years and years of observation lol#which is why i would put the most emphasis on the second bullet point btw!#i think its the main reason why ive gotten to this point in drawing while being self taught#but also bc ive been drawing for a very long time too#also sorry this took me a couple of days to answer T_T it takes me a while to come up with a response to these types of questions#bc im not great at articulating my thoughts HAHA <- not a words person#but i'm really flattered to get an ask like this T_T i wish i could give better/more specific answers T_T#i think its awesome that you want to get back into drawing tho T_T it's inspiring me to keep practicing as well#i actually saw this ask right after i got back from watching look back over the weekend LMAOOO#I WAS SO DEEPLY MOVED...!!! HAVING ALREADY BEEN SO RAW WITH EMOTION#IM ROOTING FOR YOU ANON..........!!! DONT GIVE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP DRAWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hey so I just looking at your huskerdust kid art and I was wondering who gave birth to the kids?
Literally up until recently I just kept saying it was left up to interpretation, and tbh that still stands!! In the 'canon' of the au me and albo have created revolving around this, the answer is husk, but if that's something other people are uncomfy with and would rather say they just spawned into existence then I personally am fine w that 💖
(I am coming at this as a trans masc myself to be very clear, with husk being trans in this au)
#drag replies#hazbin hotel#huskerdust fambly#i have many feelings on this whole thing#and a lot of it is personal exploration about myself not wanting kids but I honestly don't want to get into that publicly lol#but yeah!! we've been having a lotta fun in DMs discussing this whole thing#like there's so much you guys have No Idea#this has become a whole emotional story line exploring internalised transphobia and toxic masculinity etc etc#this should have been a one word answer and instead you got this I'm sorry anon LMAO 😭
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Go off queen
It's your blog and you should be able to talk about whatever you want after all
aww thank you 🥺 i appreciate it <33
i do really not like spreading negativity esp when it's on a topic i have strong feelings about, and let's say the D.A fandom especially tends to be. extreme about the way it reacts to people disagreeing with them.
And look. I'm not immune to it because sometimes i get caught up by the genuinely rancid vibe in the fandom as well, and i think those games are designed for us to have strong feelings to start with.
but it also means i don't want to go too deep into controversial thoughts because i genuinely don't want to get to a point where i'll see someone screenshot my posts to dunk on it and say i'm the reason media literacy is dead and why the fandom is so toxic (citing things i've actually seen on said blog, for instance though not directed at me but at takes i've seen taken out of context. except i knew the context so knew this was a bad faith argument.).
Like can't even dislike shits in peace in here.
#sorry this is probably my most solas moment but i try to be kind and stuff#and when i discuss things level headed with people i do think i'm pretty humble#i don't think i have the ultimate readings and i am likely super wrong about things all the time#because analysis remains also an emotional approach and it can't be helped#and i need to hold on to this humility to not get caught on in my own head#analysis is also pretty much shapped by experience and i do not have the final reading on things#and sometimes things can be decent in one way but fumble another#and what will be important to not fumble will be different from one person to the next#depending to the themes that resonated with you to start with#but when i see people dunk on feelings i have while taking them out of context and also being rude about it#and then saying 'media literacy is dead'#i feel myself turning into a pride demon on the spot#sorry i only have two literature analysis diplomas i graduated from in two languages with praises for my analytic skills#and with a teacher genuinely begging me to continue advanced literature analysis classes because my approach was rare and precious#so clearly i don't know what i'm talking about at all and i'm the idiot here#like holy shit. lol.#this fandom is still the one i dislike the most and alas the fact i dislike the 4th game doesn't help#bc i really was hopeful and optimistic about it! i didnt want to dislike it!!!!#but i at least don't want to be taken for an idiot for it#but coughs. anyway. so that's one of the reason i'm not petty on main#the real reason is i don't want to impose that on my followers. I don't like being negative needlessly.#the second reason is that if i'm met with hostility where someone act like i'm dumb i will do things i will regret.#It's just that no one saw this side of me there most time because you've all been nice to me here#again. this is my solas moment. one of the reasons my therapist goes 😬 when i talk about him#ichareply#anonymous#ichasalty
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:/
#A good episode. Nice animation. It's suuuuuuch a shame things had to go downhilla right for episode 3 like... That's such an awful timing#And I'm like very evry positive I'm not making stuff up. I will let drawings quality slide since that's a matter of personal taste#But the animation is infinitely more static in ep3.#There's endless shots (that literally span for minutes. I know I've counted) where nothing happens. It's so hhhhhhhhhhhh#(Btw for anyone who forgot / wasn't there at the time: the first 3 season 5 episodes had to be ready earlier for an early screening.#That's why they had to rush to make them and the quality suffered for it in the last episode in particular.)#Sorry for being redoundant but you know how it is. I'm ss/kk-manifesto. I'll be complaining about s5ep3 till the end of Tumblr#Back to the real ep1 in question... It was so nice!!!#I take issues with the amv opening because seriously. Don't release a season if you're not ready to release a season. No one will get mad#But other than that the animation and drawings were very nice. This arc makes me a little emotional.#It's funny how you can see the anime editing staff gradually get really into chromatic aberration lol.#Like it's always been present as far as I can remember–#but it went from season 1 being used very sporadically to s5ep1 being used in every single shot lol.#It's okay tho it's not bothersome the slightest. It gives some kinf of depth to the shot I suppose.#Even funnier that Harukawa has been using it a lot in their last colour illustrations as well ahah.#Last chapter it was very noticeable both in the chapter cover and color page#Mmmmhhhh...#When Atsushi says “I know where Kamui-san is! He's in the middle of an assassination!��; isn't that a kind of plot hole?#I don't think in reality Fukuchi was killing anyone at all at that point.#And even if Ranpo says otherwise‚ looking back we can be fairly certain that Fukuchi never plotted to seriously assassinate the ada#Idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#There's some little lines from the manga I was missing this episode. The “I hate dealing with this decay member the most”.#The “Great! Anything you want! Just say ‘I want this case solved’ and I'll step right up and—”.#I know it's really nothing at all / perfectly understandable cuts...#But at the same time they really add to the overall pacing and make the story flow much more enjoyable for me (≧▽≦)#random rambles
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some of y'all have grown so comfortable with being emotionally manipulative it hurts.
no, threatening someone with, or god save, attempting to commit suicide over a disagreement is extremely fucking toxic and may cause permanent trauma to the other person.
like just don't do that?
and friends, if someone does this to you, OK , honestly even advised, to leave (Once they're out of harm's way of course). we mustn't put our mental health in jeopardy, this is not your fault.
#TW Suicide Mention#seen a post bout polyamory#and ppl threatening murder suicide#ok i get some ppl are really ungood with their emotions but if like#half of yall#comfortably#state that you'd try murder suicide or murder a man#over a mere suggestion/question/offer#That's definitely not okay?#Like if this happens in a flurry of emotions after a heated argument with seemingly no compromise its different than someone saying#lol if someone suggested polyamory murder suicide#thats not even#no you don't love this person you are OBSESSED#you don't want what's best for them#you are using them#Like i hate to put it this way#But someone else cannot “fix you”#if ur monogamous and ur partner suggest polyamory like a question then u can decline and maybe u can compromise#if ur partner insists - it'd make them complete - and no compromise cannot be reached like u dont feel comf with it#then i'm sorry to say but you're not good for eachother#and it's best to just end that relationship
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Can you imagine what it must all have been like for Gray though?
Like. Picture this. After getting badly injured on your job, you get out of a long, long hospital stay. We're talking months. You don't remember any of those months. You don't even remember the accident.
So you get back to your boring little life. It's the same as it was before, but after brushing so close to death you do have a better appreciation for it. Or you try to, anyway.
And then you meet this weird young woman for whom you feel an inexplicable fondness. You talk for about 4 minutes. Later, instead of meeting you again as promised, she slips away. You think you'll never see her again. Well.
A few months later, she appears out of thin air again and says she seeked you out specifically to help with her job. You want to help, so you say yes, and you fly to New Zealand. There, everything seems straightforward until it- doesn't. It looks like you've been tricked, but for what? Then you find yourself into a situation more sinister and dangerous than you thought possible, yet you're not scared. When someone threatens the woman (your friend? It feels weird to call her a friend when you barely know her, but you feel close to her), you don't recognize the voice even though it evokes contradictory feelings in you. Happiness, fear? When you're in front of that weird bomb-like device, you don't know what it is but you know how to disable it, instinctively, confidently, like muscle memory.
Back in Sydney, you still don't get all the answers you want. The woman disappears again, but it's okay. You think this won't be the last you've seen of her. And maybe then you'll get your answers.
#the thing is. the thing is there's so much POTENTIAL with that dude#that storyline is so cool. the whole. 'i don't remember these people or situation but they still evoke emotions and they feel familiar'#is absolutely fascinating to me#losing your memories doesn't undo the year and a half of training + being a fully realized operative#but iiii don't like the way they went at it in s4#the whole 'vile made him a good person by what heightening his empathy'? what??#i do like the reveal that HE seeked out vile and wanted to join tho.#very interesting and tragic wrt his friendship with carmen#but now rewatching the episode and watching him ask if they're the good guys is. weird.#like sure it helped carmen believe gray was actually the good person she saw him as#but i'm sorry i can't take the 'they brainwashed him into being good' seriously it just. doesn't work#still can't really articulate my feelings about it. we'll see if i get somewhere by season 4 lol#carmen sandiego 2019#graham calloway#csweekly
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Do you ever love a show/project so much you get, like, overwhelmed by how proud you are of the creators? No? I'm the only one who's insane? Cool
#this is specifically about Ben brainard because I made a little extra money and was able to switch my Patreon tier to $25 a month for him#and I know he's taking a break and that's fine#I'm also a Sherlock bbc fan I can handle a hiatus#it allows me to obsessively rewatch the whole series a hundred times which forces fics out of my brain like a tube of toothpaste#but I'm getting emotional because I'm so proud of what he's done with welcome to the table#and his stand up career too#like he's not posting because he's on tour 🥹#and I'm like holy shit. this one person#(who is my age btw)#got me through the pandemic#and when I have extra money I think of him and it makes me happy that I'm not the only one and he's able#to make a full time job out of the table#wttt#welcome to the table#wttsh#this is such an insane rant I'm sorry#ben brainard#also yes I'm aware this isn't 'healthy' or w.e lol
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saw you post 'listen before you go', thought you'd enjoy this:
oh...
#sterechats :)#going through It. and by It let's just say. the worst loss of my life lol#but I don't think anyone wants to hear how I ruined it again#and how badly I miss them#and if they'd give me one more chance I'd be the happiest person in the world#they put up with so much shit I should never have put them through#I can't blame them for leaving I just wish I could show them how much they mean to me#that behind all of my masks and my anger I cared about them more than anything#and I'm just so damn scared of being vulnerable because I've learned vulnerability is weakness#and even though that's wrong and I know it is it's less vulnerable to close myself off and respond with rage#than it is to actually confront my own emotions and realize that I'm not a robot#that I have feelings and they're usually really big and overwhelming for me#and I have to step back and process these things on my own because it's unfair to others#because I can't keep treating my friends like they're responsible for my emotions and at fault for them#because I need to actually communicate my needs instead of assuming people know them#because these same patterns are why I keep losing friends over and over again#and if I don't fix them I'm never going to be able to maintain a friendship#god. if they're ever going to read this I hope they know how much they mean to me#and how deeply and truly sorry I am for everything I've done#and how I never want to hurt them ever again#and I'm crying again. it feels like all I'm ever doing recently is crying#you know that saying 'you don't realize what you have until it's gone'? yeah.#for all the shit I talked I'd do anything to hear them tell me about their f1 drivers again#I miss them so much it's killing me it feels like#I just. I don't think they're coming back#no matter how much I tell myself they just need a few weeks or months#I think I really fucked it up this time and I don't want to admit it to myself#because I don't think I can mentally accept that they're gone forever most likely#I just want to hope that they'll give me that one last chance and I can prove myself#I just want to talk to them again and it hurts so much
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Negative///
You ever just cry because it was clearly your own fault for getting indoctrinated because if you were just smarter you wouldn't have fallen for it
#negative -#not true#never the person's fault at any age ESPECIALLY A CHILD#but fuck i can't help thinking this sometimes#esp when i have people around me that are basically like 'yeah my parents were Christian too but i was too smart to fall for it'#i know it's different circumstances. i didn't have a choice and almost always these people had a choice#or their parents weren't as into it or whatever#i know the indoctrination ruined the critical thinking area of my brain before i could even consider if it wasn't true#i know the cult tactics they used are effective on adults and why would a 4 year old even be considering that#i know i was isolated and didn't have access to other worldviews at all at that point#and so many other things#i get that#but also...... what if it is my fault. what if i could've stopped it somehow.#logic brain gets it. emotion brain hasn't caught up#child indoctrination#sorry for all the posts lol i guess I'm goin thru it rn#personal
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Okay, I've decided I need to make some new icons. That always helps me get out of a tumblr rp wriitng funk because then I'm like :)))) Time to show off my hard work :)))))))))))))))) Trying to decide if I want to ruin my Pinterest dash and make a Buffy pin board for icons. Idek....I'm pretty content with it being currently mostly GOmens fanart and David Tennent thirst. I'm a simple creature. Maybe I'll make a second account for Buffy pins. I'm honestly just so scared of the inevitable bad take machine.
(As you all prolly know, Pinterest became thievery central when they changed something about it ages ago. I can't remember anymore, only that it was suddenly mostly imbedded links. Anyway, even before that, it was 50% meme and fandom meta screen shots from tumblr, and that hadn't changed. Lord though, fandom makes me feel so old. It's like, if I didn't think I'd end up cringing out of my skin, I'd pop onto my og dreamwidth account. Not for the DW content, no no no, it's gets so much worse. When I switched over from LJ, I imported my blog there too, so there's also ancient stuff that makes me both happy and kinda wanna vomit. You know, it's nice to see that kinda thing be preserved but also oh god, oh no. My point is, in my typical roundabout way, has fandom changed and lost its sense of literacy and humour, or was I also taking the funny bits of a story and spinning it into incredible grimdark head canon I'M LOOKING AT YOU GOOD OMENS FANDOM JFC CROWLEY PSYCHOLOGICALLY TORTURES PLANTS BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUNNY. IT'S NOT ANY DEEPER THAN THAT UNLESS YOU WANNA SAY THAT IT'S EMBLEMATIC THAT CROWLEY IS A SHIT DEMON. HE'S AT HIS MOST TERRIFYING WHEN HE'S BULLYING PLANTS. FUCKING PLANTS. Ahem. Sorry.)
#anyway#sorry again i've been MIA#haven't been feeling great#mostly having migraines from adjustment to new glasses and prelude to the wolf moon making me feel awful#also you know it apparently takes me few days to psychologically recover from talking to my doctor lmao#i'm not so paranoid as to think he legit doesn't like me but i do think he's got the emotional awareness of a gnat#like you know i'm several anxiety disorders in a trenchcoat so do you just not realize you trigger my discomfort strongly?#Do we think it's a good thing? who even knows#maybe i'll just start lyin and masking baybeeeee#too many tags and way too personal i'm so sorry lol#tbd#ooc;
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iyo what was wrong with vision in wandavision
Hi, thanks for the ask! Assuming this relates to tags on an AoU Vision set about missing that particular version of him but please don't think that has bearing on WandaVision which I LOVED and honestly adored everything about where they took his character. I'm talking what happened afterwards, aka nothing lmao 😅
For example, an ending tag of Wanda after leaving Westview made perfect sense but why not hint where (White) Vision went too?? They both carried the show equally and while I didn't necessarily expect Vision to show back up as quickly as Wanda did in other MCU projects it's not unreasonable considering the popularity of the show to namedrop someone at least looking for him? He's an Avenger and a super powerful one at that which seems to get lost in the shuffle now so I really do miss his debut in AoU where he truly felt part of a team. S.W.O.R.D surely had files on his rebooted self so someone there couldn't inform his dad Bruce to help get his memories back?
(And slight spoiler alert here, yes he's got his own D+ series coming which I'm excited and have an open mind about but that's going to end up airing maybe 4-5 years after WV just to see him trying to piece himself back together all ALONE?? He has loved ones too and some urgency to find him would be appreciated 😔)
#sorry i just adore vision and the emotional range in paul's portrayal which i'd take advantage of as much as possible but that's just me lol#and this is like wanda pointing out no one cared enough to mourn him... no one cares enough to chase after him either apparently...#also no one asked but since i'm thinking of bruce and airing personal mcu hot takes the incredible hulk (2008) is a GREAT MOVIE#idc bruce banner is supposed to feel haunted and guilty and desperate to atone despite never allowing himself to connect!!#not that he deserves to feel that way ofc he doesn't he's wonderful but considering his trauma he should be allowed to deal with it#while we're lucky to have mark's bruce the character hasn't been written properly since the avengers which is tragic#and i don't want vision's recovery to be glossed over the same way#tysm again for this ask btw! i don't really vent marvel much and it's nice to get stuff off my chest lol#hope you're having a great day <33333#ask
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Just some personal feelings I'm getting out
Tbh a lot of the time I feel like I should just kinda quit creating altogether because I'm so slow and erratic and jump between projects so often and struggle to find the courage to share even the simplest little ideas, even little headcanons or thoughts or plans. It's easy to feel like it doesn't make a difference whether I try or not at all, because the result might as well be the same, especially where other people are concerned. I remember I was really genuinely shocked last year when people were happy to see me post again and do silly art again after having been more or less off social media for much of the fall. Just couldn't imagine that I'd ever made an impact or would be remembered or wanted around. I'm really thankful that the past few days I've been able to have fun drawing again. And I'm thankful that I could find the spirit to do Kingmaker things, because I really do love doing them so, so much, no matter how much guilt I feel about the mountain of projects I've never managed to bring to completion.
#I'm looking forward to finishing the party picture with the tower in the future. taking my time on it hopefully#just trying to enjoy the process :)#and I want to write again too. I've written a little lately and it feels good#I want to find the self esteem to finish something for the first time in who knows how long. even if it's not very good#I've always had a lot of trouble approaching accomplishment like a zero sum game and comparing myself to others.#but I believe I can feel that joy again#rambling#personal#sorry lol. I have NOT been capable of sleeping lately and it makes the emotions a little funky
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