#like dude it was like 4 am and i was a puddle of feelings on the floor

[mirensiart]

anon assumption: you've cried over multiple fictional characters

another anon assumption: you prefer crunchy things

Oh yeah, absolutely!

For some reason though, character deaths don't hit me as much as when characters are like genuinely kind, like I've noticed I tend to cry more over characters being soft and showing affection than over them dying? lmao

You can tell I'm an old lady at heart cause romantic/friendship scenes ALWAYS make me cry LMAO

I think it's the fact that one of my hobbies is to watch horror movies and reas horror novels, so I'm kinda desensitized to character deaths lmao but put me a heartfelt scene between two people who care for each other and I'll be there sobbing

So yeah, I have cried over fictional characters being soft, lmao

Hmmmmmm 🤔

I don't really have a preference when it comes to food, but I do like crunchy food a lot 👀

[reiding-writing]

Hi. I was just wondering if you would write a One shot about Spencer and a male reader as a married couple (they are gay, pretty obviously) with an adopted 4-year-old daughter (they adopted her as a baby). Just a domestic fluff One Shot, I mean. If you are going to accept this request, thank you.

early mornings [ s.r ]

Summary:

Spencer Reid has spent the last twelve years with the love of his life, 7 of those years married, and 4 with his beautiful daughter. Now it’s time for her first day of school; And Spencer is excited if not a little overwhelmed

WARNINGS: n/a

pairing: dad!husband!spencer x male!reader

genre: pure fluff

wc: 2.1k

masterlist!!

a/n: i feel like i’ve been uploading a lot recently

i am not a dude in any way shape or form so i hope this comes off alright 😭

thanks for the request <33

The jarring blare of Spencer’s alarm clock forced the two of you awake, and Spencer groaned softly into your neck, his arms tightening around your torso as a clear rebuttal to having to wake up.

It was pretty much the same every morning; Spencer having to get up early to go to the office, refusing to get up when his alarm tells him to, and instead leaving you to practically drag him out of bed under the threat of withholding your body heat for him to curl himself into every night. “Spence, baby, you gotta wake up,”

You weren’t complaining, you could spend, hours, days even, holding Spencer in your arms, his head resting soundly against your chest as you ran your fingers through his curls. But he had to get up. And not just because he had work today.

Spencer muffles a refusal against the dip of your neck, his head shaking as much as he is able through his drowsiness, and you swear you melt at the sight. Twelve years, and he still manages to turn you into a puddle of emotions just by existing.

“We’ve gotta get up, it’s Dee’s first day of school today remember?” You don’t have to say anything else before Spencer is ripping himself from your arms, and you can’t help the soft groan of dissatisfaction as the chilled air hits your body.

“Of course it’s her first day of school today-” Spencer mutters to himself as he clambers out of bed, running his hand through his flattened curls as he pulls his work clothes out of his wardrobe to get changed.

He’d been preparing for this day for weeks, but apparently the mixed power of drowsiness and the comfort of lying in your arms had rendered his mind completely blank.

“Hey, calm, what do we do when we’re feeling anxious?” Your arms snake around Spencer’s from behind, and you place a chaste kiss just in front of his ear.

“Breathe slowly…” Spencer closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in as he replies to you and exhaling through his nose as he relaxes slightly into your embrace.

“It’s only 7:00, we’ve got an hour yet before you need to leave for work and an hour before I’ve got to drop off Dee, we’ve got plenty of time.” Your words are soft, whispered against his ear as your hands trace small circles into his torso.

“Your right, i’m just overthinking, sorry,” Spencer rubs the palm of his hand down his face. He just wanted everything to go well. He really did.

Diana was his whole world. it’d taken so long for the two of you to find an adoption agency that accepted same-sex couples, and even longer to find a child ready to be adopted. He was sure that Diana was a miracle, a four-month-old baby anonymously left in a hospital and left under the care of the agency you were working with.

He remembers how he cried when he first saw her, how her weight felt in his arms when he held her for the first time. Diana was everything, and he wanted to make sure that her school experience was the complete opposite of his, the best that it possibly could be.

“You should wake her up,” You ghost a kiss against the nape of his neck. “I’ll get breakfast started,”

“Mmm, okay…” He mourns the loss of your body heat the minute you remove him from your arms, and you place one final kiss against the bridge of his nose before vacating to the kitchen.

Spencer edges Diana’s bedroom door open as carefully as he can, careful to spill as little light into the room as possible as he enters, kneeling down beside her bedside and taking a second to adore her sleeping face.

He brushes the wisps of hair that barely constitute a fringe from her forehead before planting a kiss on her hairline, causing her to stir awake almost immediately. “Daddy..?”

Her voice his barely audible, slurred from sleep and quiet as she fumbles to rub her hand over her eyes.

“Morning angel,” Spencer almost chuckles at the display, helping Diana sit as he tries in vain to do it herself, her arms not yet as awake as her brain. “Do you remember what today is?”

Diana responds to his question with a blank stare and a few blinks. Apparently her brain wasn’t very awake either.

“It’s your first day of school today,” Spencer tucks some of Diana’s hair behind her ear as he answers his own question, and Diana’s expression seems to brighten at the revelation.

For an almost 5 year old, Diana seemed to be way more excited to start school than most, unafraid of leaving her parents’ presence for the few hours to spend her time in a new environment with people her own age.

“Shall we pick something to wear?” Diana nods immediately at the question, scrambling out of her bed and running over to the mini wardrobe on the other side of the room, pulling open both of doors wide open.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Well well, don’t you look fancy this morning,” You give Diana a faux bow as she runs into the kitchen with Spencer trailing behind her, fit in a white dress with a fluffy tulle skirt decorated with flowers. “Your majesty,”

Diana giggles at your display, taking advantage of your bent over position to grip her hands at the collar of your t-shirt with the insistence of you picking her up, which you gladly oblige to as you hoist her into your arms, leaning her against your left side. “Daddy helped me pick!”

You can practically feel the enthusiasm radiating off of her, aided by the smile painting her face. “Oh he did huh?”

You glance over at Spencer, who flashes the two of you an adoring smile as he leans against the door frame into the kitchen. “Well, your daddy’s got good taste,”

You give her a kiss on her nose before setting her back down on the floor, and she takes her freedom of movement as an invitation to take a seat on the pulled out chair at the kitchen table, kneeling on the pillow laid on top of the chair.

Spencer follows close behind, walking behind you to give you a kiss on your temple before also sitting down.

The second you place the plate in front of Diana she practically squeals in excitement. “Pancakes and strawberries?”

“It’s a special day, you should have a special breakfast,” You place a kiss to the crown of her head as you place a similar plate in front of Spencer and the seat space for yourself, not forgetting Spencer’s insanely sugary coffee nor your much more acceptable one as you finally take a seat yourself.

“Thanks papa!” She practically dives head first into her pancakes as she begins eating, and Spencer has to remind her to slow down as he puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Ah, careful, remember what happens when we eat too fast?” Diana has to take a few seconds to think before she pipes up, a beaming smile on her face. “Oh! Our heart can get sick!”

The two of you share a chuckle at her answer, something she’d learned after asking Spencer to tell her facts before she goes to sleep instead of a typical bed time story.

“That’s right angel, so you’ve gotta eat slowly okay?” She responds with an enthusiastic nod as she continues to excitedly eat her pancakes, albeit more slowly than before.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Once breakfast is finished, you send Diana on a mission to retrieve her backpack, and Spencer fills up her water bottle whilst you finish packing up her lunch box. “I can’t believe she’s going to school already,”

Spencer sounds genuinely flabbergasted at the idea, and you can’t help but laugh softly at his bewilderment. “Time flies,”

“You can say that again…” Spencer walks over to you from behind once the bottle is full, snaking his arms around you and placing the bottle on the table besides her now fully packed lunchbox. “It’s crazy,”

Spencer’s voice muffles against the nape of your neck. “It feels like yesterday that we got married, and now our daughter’s off to school,” He sighs against your neck, the warmth sending small tingles down your spine, and you swore you could hear his voice hitch with emotion.

“Hey,” You turn around, your back leaning against the kitchen counter as you take Spencer’s face in your hands, leaning it up to look at you. “Dee’s supposed to be the one crying about her first day of school, not you,” You chuckle softly, rubbing your thumbs over the apples of his cheeks.

“I know, I know, I just-” Spencer sighs softly, leaning the weight of his head into your hands. “I never thought i’d get to live a life like this, and sometimes it just all comes back to me you know?” His eyes glisten as they look into yours, surely glassed over with tears. “I’m so lucky to have the both of you…”

“Spence…” You sigh softly, your face softening at the authenticity of his words, matched in the pure gratitude of his expression.

“Sorry-” He pulls his head out of your hands, taking a deep breath and wiping the back of his hand over his eyes.

“Hey-” you cup his cheek in your hand once more, closing the space between you once more. “I love you, you know that right?”

Spencer breathes out a small laugh, looking into your eyes with a small nod. “Yeah, I love you too.. so much…”

You bridge the remaining distance with a kiss, one which Spencer readily accepts, and you can feel his smile against your mouth as he returns your affection.

“Ewwww,” Diana’s voice calls out from the kitchen door, an animated expression on her face. “Daddy and papa are kissing,”

“You can get in on some kisses too you menace,” You playfully chase Diana around the kitchen table as she laughs, running away from you with her rocket ship backpack planted securely on her shoulders, and once you close the gap you scoop her up into your arms, planting kisses all over her face whilst he tries to wriggle out of your grasp.

“Daddy help me!” Her pleas go unfounded, Spencer joining in on the smothering, leaving Diana out of breath from her giggling.

Diana remains securely in your arms as Spencer, packs her bag with her water and her lunch, zipping the bag closed with another kiss to the side of her face.

“Are you coming too daddy?” Diana’s eyes twinkle as she asks the question, as if silently pleading Spencer to join you in dropping her off for her first day.

“Of course I am angel,” He places another kiss to the tip of her nose that elicits another giggle from her mouth and an excited wave of her arms in celebration.

“Are you sure?” You give Spencer a knowing glance. His job was important, and whilst Diana didn’t quite know just how important, she’d had enough experience with him going on ‘holidays with work’ to not be too disappointed if he couldn’t make it.

“Of course I am,” Spencer tucks some of Diana’s hair behind her ear, her smile only amplifying as he double-confirms that he’s joining them. “It’s my angel’s first day of school, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,”

[reel-fear]

👁️👁️

You must tell 👀

*rubs my little hands together* sorry for taking a bit on answering this! My brain has not been braining lately but your ask couldn't have come at a better time bc Grant has been on the mind as of late and I am hyped at the excuse to infodump abt him- [this is gonna be long I am so sorry-]

now for quick disclaimers for anyone reading this that isnt the asker or me- we're not discussing canon Grant Cohen, we're talking my Grant, this black haired dude, that guy. Another fun disclaimer, I was HEAVILY, inspired by Grant's role/character in abomination for my Grant. Taking time to awknowledge every part of his character or story that was inspired by it would make this 10x longer so if similarities are spotted know its very likely I did that on purpose bc I just really love abomination KJHFSDGKJDHGSD-

Alright with that outta the way I'ma talk a lot abt what happens to Grant in the canon of Showtime to explain what I meant and also maybe a bit of me rambling about aus that explore Grants relationship with Sammy n Joey under a more romantic lens. Should be obvious but spoilers for It's Showtime down below~

So Grant in Showtime after he dies ends up joining the ink demon cult, becoming a lost one and earning the title of The Priest.

When the cult was all together him and Sammy worked together to run it. Sammy used his connection to the ink demon to recieve messages and learn more on how to survive in this new situation and Grant made sure the lost ones acted accordingly. [A role not so far off from the one he was forced to take when the studio started facing troubles before his death] Grant also took the job of dealing with sacrificing souls and sending them back to the dark puddles, which sometimes was members of the following chosen at random and sometimes whatever poor soul found themselves captured by them.

However when Malice rose from the puddles and made a deal with the Projectionist to seize a considerable amount of the studio as theirs, the cult was split up, Sammy and Jack forced to flee to the music department and Grant with the rest of the following being down in the area of Chapter 4. This put Grant in a very bad spot, the lost ones were very shaken by this event and since then Grant worries their faith in him has wavered.

An important thing with the ink demon cult was that it is meant to be a more realistic take on how a cult works. The Ink Demon runs the cult, he is the most powerful figure in it and yet the hardest to contact, so Grant and Sammy are little more than middlemen tasked with keeping things running or else they face the ink demon's wrath. Sammy is sadly very aware that the ink demon is not as benevolent as he or the lost ones would like the believe. Grant likes to think being the Priest will at the very least protect him if things go wrong, but he is sadly mistaken.

Grant is in a very dangerous spot, he knows the lost ones beneath him are getting angsty and worried about just how truthfully safe the cult is or if they should believe in the power of the ink demon. But he also knows if things fall apart the lost ones will come to tear him apart long before they go for the ink demon. Despite him merely being a puppet for their lord. A role Grant is not ready to acknowledge, not because he isn't smart enough to see he is just a pawn, but because he chooses not to think about it, less his paranoia eat him alive yet again... A very important thing to keep in mind with Grants character.

Grant did in fact play this role in life as well however, when things started going wrong in the studio, Joey was very quick to turn away from what was going on and continue asserting everything would be fine. Which while a lie he himself believed was a lie nonetheless. However Grant quickly became his right hand man as people like Thomas and Wally started noticing cracks forming all through out the studio. Staff going missing, the ink changing in the way it behaved and an eerie feeling the machine created in both of them.

Grant despite deep down being smart enough to know things were going poorly, parroted Joey's words, hanging off of them himself and doing whatever he could to shut down any attempts to bring to light the things going wrong. Of course, him and Joey both ended up paying the price for their lies, but so did everyone else around them. But unlike Sammy, Grant barely even seemed shaken to see that, like a conspiracy theorist seeing evidence their theory isn't true only makes them double down harder, Grant only seemed to double down on the idea that if he followed every order he was given. Surely things would turn out better this time.

So that's canon to the story of Showtime, but I do want to take a second to get some AU non canon ideas out of my brain centering around Grant and his relationship to both Joey n Sammy. In canon Grant's only romantic interest is Thomas, his literal husband and there is a lot of interesting conflict there, but I fucking love shipping so of course I have a million aus merely indulging in ships I think would also be interesting to explore in their own contexts. In this case, I'm gonna ramble a bit about Sammy x Grant and Grant x Joey and the interesting things I think there are to explore in their relationships in Showtime.

So you might've noticed that while not literally [as saying the ink demon is Joey in Showtime, while somewhat true, is not the entire truth of the situation and simplifies it quite a bit] Grant did end up following Joey to the grave... And then kept following him beyond it. Something that is objectively~ very queer of him.

There's just something so compelling about the idea of Grant yearning for Joey so much, being so close yet so far as his right hand man but not being brave enough to become his lover eventually drove Grant's love for Joey to become an outright obsession. The idea that Grant's feelings for Joey became so intense from how hard he pushed them down it blinded him from seeing the truth of the situation outside of the way Joey painted it. Then dying and his obsession turning into an outright worship of him.

The idea of Grant settling for just being Joey's favorite lackey, his most loyal pet and knowing that's his role but not caring bc at least it makes him stay by Joey's side. Ohh it's an interesting one to say the least. I even did a few sketches of them u can see-

They are doomed by the narrative to me and have been on my mind a lot lately can ya tell? KJDHSFGKJHDFSGKJHDFGSD

However when it comes to Sammy and Grant, I think there is a lot of interesting potential between them too. After all they share being the Ink Demon's henchmen in all of this and to see them both come to terms with that and try to find comfort in each other is such a fun idea to me.

An au where they both decide to ditch the cult and the ink demon and on their own try to figure out what happened to Joey and how to fix things is very compelling to me. I could see their relationship starting out as doing all these things for each other under the excuse they just need comfort until it starts to turn to actual feelings for each other. Both of them coming to terms with the fact Joey was not in fact a perfect person and maybe didn't even know how bad things were getting deep down himself but also finally letting themselves hold him accountable for the lies he told... It's a very fun healing narrative and very in line with a lot of the themes It's Showtime deals with.

Either way, I just really love what I've done with Grant's character in It's Showtime, he's for sure one of the most fascinating to me and the themes his story explores are ones that are important to the story as a whole and by extension me. Umm this turned out very long but I hope u enjoyed the read! Tysm for the excuse to infodump abt him, I was itching for one as u can see KDJHGKJDHFGKJDHFGSD.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 0 out 5

Loving Whiskey has a little bit of everything! The story follows Willow/Whiskey, a girl unlucky in love, who meets Mr. Colton Royce and its love at first sight.

Colt Royce is one hell of a charmer and knows exactly who and what he wants. And gets it.

Those who love fast-paced relationships will fall in love with Whiskey and Colt. There’s lots of humor, a bit of drama, a few tendrils of steam, and a dash of angst. This was such a fun read and I adored it very much.

Now normally, I’m not a fan of so many characters being introduced, but Whiskey’s girls and the Panty Droppers, and Noni and her cronies was excellent. I loved the drama of so many relationships (and am definitely hoping to see these couples in future books) and the craziness of the older generation.

As I mentioned before, this really was a fun read.

Now here are my rambling thoughts...

* Wow. Willow’s brother-in-law is a douchebag.

* Yeah. I would murder my best friend if they tried setting me up with the creepy cousin too lol.

* Okay, so I know Beck isn’t the main male lead here, but I want him. Please? But all jokes aside, I need to know what went on between him and Mila.

* And Levi too? Oh my god. This bar has staffed hot men. And this one has a thing with Luna? Do I sense future books?

* Oh, colt. You did not just “darlin’” Whiskey. If I’m swooning, she’s definitely swooning.

* Tails and Halo are a riot haha.

* Colt is really bold. How is Whiskey not in a puddle right now 😂

* Cho-cha loca = crazy pussy 😂 lmfao. You learn something new every day.

* What is it with everyone cockblocking them 😒

* Oh god. Noni and her cronies went to scope out Whiskey 😂

* Aww man. Things were going so good with Colt and Whiskey. I don’t like the hurt feelings.

* These old ladies are insane.

* What the fuck is Vet doing at the Punch Bar..?

* Oh man. I love the guys knocking Curtis down a few pegs. Fuck that guy.

* Lmao. The girls showed the old ladies Fifty Shades of Grey 😂

* But fuck, man. This Curtis dude needs his ass kicked.

* Lmao. Mila put Colt’s ex in her place.

* And what the fuck, Beck?! You need to chill, dude.

* Oh. Poor, Sofia.

* Lmfao. Everyone’s ex’s just coming in for some drama.

* Thank god for Luca. Fuck Curtis! He deserved that.

* Aww. Luna and Levi… it can’t end like this for them.

* “I love you, Willow Mae Lawson. I knew I wanted you the moment you ran into me on my first day. You were immediately embedded in my every thought. Everything about you lights me up. Marry me baby.”

[seth-burroughs]

czynść dwa:

oh yeah mysterious ramen guy!! forgot he exists. i wonder what the fuck was going on in his head during the whole game. whats your opinion on the fucking plot ramen guy.

i don't. think these two peacekeepers there are quite doing their job. can you. do something about the guy that just ran out the train we were supposed to kill people on. why am i genuinely bothered about this

forgot this was the prologue..... thought that this whole section was also just a part of chapter 0

look at this very poggers city.. look theres a lot of lights put up so that we see everything and don't need the sun and also who doesn't love being wet all the time. infinite puddles. and beautiful women are here. tf more do you want.

i think i can survive the nikolai voice. at least it's not like the dazai one from the eng dub. at least they sound actually different this time. and not. like the Same Character .

the artstyle/3d elements/animation is very nice and i have no complaints except the fact the arms just flail around so much and i feel like im watching gmod ytp dudes yanking their sonic models around in the air. slamming them against the pavement. i just cant stop thinking about this

"although thanks to them the real dawn will never rise here" cartoon gulp noise. well. correct kinda but you will never ever in a million years guess the reason

I ❤️ company towns

detectivephobia mention counter: 2

ama pal ad spotted directly behind yakou

yakou gets it

"screams are part of daily noise here. theyre kind of like church bells marking sunset" same with my city lmao i hear lots of weird shit especially at night. children screeching like they're getting skinned every day at this point, some guys probably beating the shit out of some other guy screaming for help, some group of people just hitting these high notes crying and screaming bloody murder at each othe- oh wait they're just arguing nevermi- wait what the hell is that sound did a firework go off or. but mostly the children. are all of them really that loud. what percentage of them are actually getting liveleak executed and what percentage are just having a bad day or something. we shall never know! nevertheless, i do not care.

anyway back to yakou code. the nefarious smiler has been mentioned

yuma teraz: "cholera jebana jego mać dzie mie kurwa wywieźli"

love yuma's prey animal stare

they're putting chemicals in the rain that give the homunculi homosexual tendencies

yakou just gave up he has accepted the situation. as we all should

hey look its the shop lady from the sewers everybody say hi

detectivephobia mention counter: 3

so like, is the only way to get to the submarine to either 1) through the sewers (most common as we saw in the game) 2) jumping in with a motorcycle from the roofs (hellectro style) (wait in that case did the goons just go in normally through the sewers then or?) 3) some third way i do not know what the hell is but the resistance pulled it off ig. i got no idea. show me that area again now

detectivephoba mention counter: 4

all the other nda detectives had their own versions of the train massacre happening to them and surviving it somehow and yet. we hear about literally none of them. not even in the gumshoe gabs or the dlcs.

oh theyre showing the sub area now...... im gonna look for other ways to get there that arent the sewers or forbidden hellectro route...........

i cannot find one. icardi, iruka, peacekeepers, what is your secret.

everybody remember the my yakou x submarine invention. do not forget it. ill make him fuck that boat. im gonna antropomorphize the fuck out of it

i think were ending this one on the submarine entrance lmao. for now.......

continuation of my mdarc rewatch but from the ch0 ending and onwards instead because it was stressing me out too much. blissfully ignoring fzilch's entire existence anyway here comes yakou-

once again im so glad im watching this in jp dub again because i don't think i could survive if eng yakou opened his mouth and i just heard fuckinbg. dubbing dazai.

can someone tell my goddamn muscles to stOP tensing up whenever rejn kołd kanaj łard mentioned . getting the twitches again >:(

yuma peril we love to see it. also i will never stop making fun of his stupid fucking phallus haircut

i don't remember if ive said this before but japanese shinigami >>>>>>>>> english shinigami

i spot a faint trace of a seth thumbnail in the corner and start blushing and kicking my feet uncontrollably. imagining him getting his limbs ripped off

good fucking lord. oh my fucking god. jesus christ, motherfucker. my first statement aged like fucking milk i cannot take this anymore jp dub yakou has the same voice as jp dub nikolai bsd fuck my stupid baka life why do i bother. what the fuck.

huh. maybe the yomiakou mfs were onto something after all. his swagless demeanor just now has charmed me significantly.

i like how in the game his description lists his ability as "a flair for negotiation", makes him negotiate exactly once during his introduction and then he never does it again

i am not giggling at yakou furio rain code. leave me alone. i am not. IM NOT. GO AWAY. I CANNOT CONTROL MY VOICEBOX JACKASS..

"he managed to turn away the peacekeepers, so he must be in high standing" hahahaha. hahahaha. no sorry yuma i think thats just pretty privilege on his part. once again shinigami ends up being 100% correct somehow

aaaah i still really like yuma's jpn voice especially when he's stressed or screaming. makes me want to throw him down the stairs

its so pretty in here why would anyone want to leave anyway lol. when all the remaining nations explode each other kanai ward will be the only city still standing and we will flourish and thrive. also in the station(?) theres a poster with a rainbow on it so obviously its gay paradise too what more do yall fucking want

detectivephobia mention counter: 1

thats all for today i fear op is not strong enough for rhis shit,

[blushblushbear]

I am ill for him... (In a slay way)

Cuddling headcanons... Myx...

okay so this dude is a cuddle MACHINE

always down to get 'em

always down to give 'em

actually a long cuddle session is all he ever wants after a long hard day

or even just a normal day

did I say cuddle machine? I should've said cuddle FIEND

likes to get real cozy with it

lots of soft blankets and comfy sweat pants

will also maybe float out the idea that you'd be even warmer if you cuddled together naked

just a thought tho

he usually is the first one to fall asleep while cuddling (he was just so comfy!) so he doesn't get to watch you fall asleep

but he's usually the first of you two to wake up so he does get to watch you sleep a little and gets to watch you wake up which he ADORES

has 4 cuddles modes

extra snuggle

sweet and romantic

supportive and listening

close and soul bearing

he loves when you both get some real emotions out while in a cuddle puddle

feels very intimate but in a sweet way

intimacy is his JAM

[sissybabycucksophia]

What are your top 3 fantasies?

Ohhhh now thats a good one! I love that you asked this 😊 for the record these are FANTASIES not roadmaps or actual things likely too or that Im willing for too happen. 👀

1. So my first fantasy it to have a beautiful caring and dominant girlfriend, i imagine her like some 5ft ginger haired and blue eyed hour glass figure type girl 😅. I dream of coming home from work on a Friday, her locking the doors and demanding i go upstairs and strip. Upstairs she chastises me, inserts a hollow plug in my ass, quadruple diapers me and put locking waterproof pants over that, then despite my moans and pleas she’d lock me in a pink footed playsuit, rigid locking mittens on my hands, lock a cock gag that looks like a paci gag in my mouth, then she’d lock me in a heavy fleece sleepsack. Once all trapped in that she’d make me crawl all the way back downstairs (bum sliding down the stairs) where i would he mortified to see a big muscular black dude on the couch. Despite my protestant moans my gf would simply get me sat on a dining room chair then use rope to tie me too it as she tells her guest not to worry because I’m just a baby and can’t possibly understand what’s happening. Once tied to the chair, in front if the black man my gf will sit on my lap and begin plastering and caking my face in super feminine makeup to destroy my masculinity and then secure a below shoulder length blonde curly wig on my head. After which I’ll be forced to sit there staring directly at my girlfriend as they both strip naked and the black man begins violently fucking her while i piss my diapers like a weak little coward. They’d have sex at least 4 times, in between rounds 2 and 3 though, my gf will tell her bull to masturbate and shoot a load all over me, to which he shoots a massive load of superior bull cum into the crotch region of my Sleepsack, leaving a cum dinner plate sized cum puddle soaking in through the crotch of my fleece sleep sack. Eventually after my gf offers to take him out for dinner im left tied up to the chair for hours…. Eventually shitting my diaper as well.

2. The second fantasy is to have a male dom near me find out who i am then blackmail me into being his sissy girlfriend. It’d start off with him blackmailing me into going to his niece’s birthday party Dressed as Abby Bominable (monster high) and pretending to be his gf so his family stop pestering him. Then he’d tell me i did to good a job and that they liked me so he’d force me to go too a 10 year school reunion prom with him where i’d have to endure him groping and making contact with me as well as have to make out with him so people believed we’re serious. However as he’s making out with me he feels my erect cock through my mermaid fit prom dress and drags me to the disabled toilets and forces me into chastity, hes very angry cause i could have been seen. Next he’d insist on taking me on weekly dates too improve our dynamic to be more believable to family, i only go along with it cause he promises to unlock my chastity after a year of weekly dates. Eventually he warns me hes going to propose while we’re on a southern reenactment holiday with his family but tells me i must agree because it’ll be a sham wedding just to keep his family happy, so while standing pathetically dressed as a pink azalea trail maid with my penis fit to burst from its chastity I’m forced to act surprised and excitedly say yes as he proposes. Six months later I’m being walked down the isle by his dad in my very tight mermaid fit wedding dress toward the man whos been blackmailing me for nearly 2 years and keeping me in chastity, believing its a fake minister i say the vows my dom has prewritten for me and say i do as a ring is placed in my finger. At that he grabs me and shoves his tongue down my throat against my will but i try to go with it to keep fooling his family but suddenly i feel woozy and pass out. When i awake I’m in the middle of the dance floor at the reception, in my wedding dress I’m tied to a chair and completely unable to move, my mouth is filled by a large cock gag and even though I can’t get my hands too it, my penis is now uncaged and pushing hard up against the tight mermaid fit dress. My dom then reveals his family have known since day one i was a man because they saw the bump in the crotch of my Abby Bominable costume. He also reveals that was a real and binding wedding, now of the 280 guests, the 3/4’s of whom are male will come up and masturbate and shoot their load at me, if they cant do that my dom tells them too piss on me. I sit there with tears of shame and embarrassment streaming down my face as his dad is the first to come up and shoot his load which splatters the warm gooey liquid all over my fake tit padded chest. Every single male guest takes at least two turns pissing or cumming on me while the females come up and stuff their used panties in any open in the dress they can (short sleeve openings and neck hole) while writing congratulations messages on any bare bit of skin they can. By the time everyone is done, I’m covered head too toe in cum and piss, my now husband then unties me and manoeuvres me onto my knees and removes the cock gag and pulls down his trousers. “Covered in all that cum! But the only cum that’ll ever be inside you is mine WIFE!” He says as i cry and beg him to set me free but he simply rams his cock into my mouth and forces his hips in and out until he shoots a massive sticky load down my throat.

3. Another fantasy is kidnapping and regression😅 I imagine that i go to perhaps my first womanless beauty pageant just to see what its like, i prance around in a beautiful A line pageant gown and by a miracle i Win 2nd place. However on my way out still all dressed up, a woman in her forties and her husband approach me, they shower me with compliments and tell me how I should have won, I politely humour them but go to leave only to feel her husband grab around my waist with one arm and holds a funny smelling hanky over my mouth and nose. Next thing i know, i wake up in a very pink very stereotypical and cliche girl’s bedroom, lying on the bed I slowly sit up realising I’m dressed in the strangest cloths. For 1 i can feel my cock is caged and my ass plugged, looking down i see i’ve been dressed in thick black tights, a just above knee length figure hugging skirt, Pink knee high ugg boots, then i notice I’m wearing a white shirt with what looks like a school tie, over the shirt is a black full length jumper with the words “Little Princess” written in pink sparkly font across the chest, looking at my hands i see long fake sparkly pink nails have been glued over mine and standing up look at myself in the mirror and realise a new red headed wig has been fastened to my head and been styled/curled, my eyebrows have been dyed to match and my makeup has been done like that of an early teen schoolgirl. As I study myself in shock, in walks in the man who knocked me out “aw Good morning sweetums, sleep well?” To which I angrily respond “who are you?! Where am I ? What the hell have you done to me?! And what the fucks going on!?” To which the man sits down and instantly drags me over his knee and begins smashing my ass super hard! As he doesn’t he lectures and borates me telling me how no daughter of his will ever use such foul language again. Once done spanking me, he sits me on his lap where he tells me to hug him and apologise! When i refuse he gets angry, sitting me on the bed he grabs thick shackles from the bottom drawer of the dresser and shackles my ankles together and wrists together before also shoving a ball gag in my mouth. Then picking me up he puts my arms over his head so I’m forced to hug onto him as he carries me downstairs, sitting me on the couch there stood in front of a chalk board is the woman who approached me. She sits a picture of a teenage girl we’re exactly what i’ve awaken wearing and with the exact makeup, eye colour and hair colour as i have now. She explains that this picture is me! She tells me that my name is Caitlyn and I’m a 12 year old girl who’s homeschooled! I shake my head and try to protest through the ballgag. Sitting down next to me she explains that Caitlyn grew up and left home at 18 because she grew to hate her weird parents so they decided to replace Caitlyn with someone whom they could make into a Caitlyn that never leaves. Confused i moan and try to say “but I’m a man” to which the woman explains its ok, in time they’ll pay to have me surgically transformed into an exact duplicate of 12 year old Caitlyn! The woman insists i clearly have to be transgender or I wouldn’t have done a womanless beauty paged! To which i try to protest but she ignores me, standing up she flips the board round to reveal a lesson all about Caitlyn and what i will need to do to emulate her at 12 years old! Naturally this fantasy could go on a lot more so feel free to ask to see more of whichever you want.

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Drabble#7)

Summary: You come back from Japan.

Pairing: Always You!Jungkook x female reader

Genre:, fluff!!

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: mentions of sex

Notes: Here is technically the first drabble I wrote but I am only now just posting hehe. it's just a lil something something. This isn’t the end of drabbles don’t worry! Remember requests for drabble ideas are open! Lets chat:)

Taglist: @seagulljk @fancycollectormoon @justinetingball

© taestefully-in-luv

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since she left and you still get this nervous every time you see her.” Jimin playfully jabs Jungkook.

“Like, didn’t you just see her two months ago?”

Jungkook stands here, in the middle of the airport, holding a rose. He breathes in and out, his unsteady breaths making Jimin giggle.

“Two months is a long time ago dude.” Jungkook pouts, he brings the rose to his nose and takes a sniff, hoping the aroma will calm him.

“And she’s here for good now…and you know why I am so fucking nervous dude.” Jungkook keeps staring ahead, watching as crowds of people walk through the busy airport. His heart is slightly pounding as he watches in anticipation…you should be walking through at any moment.

“I know, I know.” Jimin smiles, “She’s going to love it.”

The last few months you were home before you left for Japan, you and Jungkook decided to get a place together. The few months you got to live together were pure bliss. Jungkook and you lived happily and comfortably together again, except this time sharing a room. You two did everything together, letting the newness of the relationship swallow you down in the most wonderful way. Cooking together, sleeping together, sometimes even bathing together. BFF bubble baths? Yeah, that. But naked. Just everything.

Jungkook had visited you in japan 3 or 4 times. But in a whole year only seeing you 3 or 4 times felt like nothing. He found himself feeling lonely quite often in your empty apartment but having the guys around really helped. Jungkook is beyond excited and also nervous to see you. He always feels this way, the distance that Japan put between the both of you really took a toll on him but he always stayed strong.

“I think I see her!” Jimin’s giddy voice makes it to Jungkook’s ears, “Let’s go!” Jimin grabs on to Jungkook’s arm and starts dragging him towards the crowd of people.

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook picks up his pace, his eyes scanning for you but he doesn’t see you. Why doesn’t he see you?

“Right there, right there!” Jimin begins pointing in some general direction. And then he sees you. He sees your bright green cardigan first and then he sees your smile next. Jungkook starts jogging towards you as his smile grows so fucking wide on his face, his teeth proudly displayed.

“y/n!” he calls out, now running towards you.

You see Jungkook making his way towards you, this boy is not slowing down. You start to laugh as you start walking faster and faster towards him too.

“Jungkook!” you yell at, not caring how loud you’re being. You are seeing your boyfriend for the first time in a couple months and you are so fucking excited. Especially because there is no more goodbyes after this.

Jungkook finally reaches you and scoops you up in his strong arms, he holds on to you so fucking tightly that you struggle to breathe. You’re laughing so loudly and hugging him back. He spins you around in a couple circles, his excitement is clear to any bystanders. Jimin finally catches up to you both and you catch his eye. You smile excitedly towards him and he slumps his shoulders in pout.

“I wanna hug her too Kook.” Jimin playfully frowns.

Jungkook keeps squeezing you, his head in the crook of your neck as he inhales you. He mumbles something into your hair and neither you nor Jimin understand what he said.

“My turn, my turn.” Jimin continues to whine. You can’t help but continue to giggle when Jungkook lifts his head from you and spins you around until he’s facing Jimin.

“No. All mine.” He says matter of fact and you hit his back.

“You have to share me, baby.”

“I most certainly do not.” Jungkook says in a stern voice and you start chuckling.

“Okay, okay. You can put me down now.”

Jungkook sets you down gently but he doesn’t loosen his grip around you. He continues to hold you, his eyes finally meeting yours. You look up at him and he feels himself transforming into a god damn puddle.

“Why do you look so beautiful, hm?” Jungkook leans in closer to you, “Why does my girl look so fucking beautiful?”

“Jungkook” you lean up until your lips barely touch his, “I missed you.” You whisper against his lips. Jungkook smiles and nods his head, he leans down to catch you in a sweet kiss.

Finally, he has you here. For good.

“Need I remind you, I am still here? And waiting for my hug and kiss too.” Jimin winks and you laugh into Jungkook’s kiss.

You finally pull away from Jungkook and he pouts dramatically, he does not want to let go of you ever again. You walk towards Jimin and embrace him fully, his arms go to wrap themselves around you with all his love. You guys sway your bodies back in forth in a tight hug, and you playfully kiss his cheek, making him burst out into giggles.

“Okay, back to me.” Jungkook softly whispers with doe eyes. “Back to me, back to me.” He repeats over and over, holding out his rose for you.

You finally notice the red flower and you start to turn a nice shade of pink as your blush deepens.

“For me?”

“No it’s for me.” Jimin deadpans, “Can you just take his flower already.”

You take a few steps until you’re in front of Jungkook and you reach out for the rose, your fingers brushing against his and even after all this time you feel butterflies fly in swarms in your stomach.

“This is so sweet, Jungkook.” You go in to hug him again and he gratefully embraces you back.

“Red roses symbolize love…” he says shyly, “So I thought it was appropriate.” He pulls back slightly, “I was going to give you a dozen…but I thought taking care of one is work enough already.” He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.

“We couldn’t even take care of that Venus fly trap.” You remind him with a pointed smile, “So, smart move on your part.”

“Well, guys.” Jimin doesn’t mean to interrupt. “We should get going. Everyone’s probably wondering where we’re at.”

“What do you mean?” you tilt your head, “Where are we going?”

“Surprise.” Jungkook says with a grin. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~~

“Oh my god you guys are crushing me.” You are in the middle of a fucking group hug. Who’s idea was this? For sure Taehyung’s. He, Hobi and Jin are absolutely crushing you as they hug you tightly. Namjoon and Yoongi stand off to the side just waiting patiently for a turn, bless them.

“Because we—” Taehyung begins, “Missed. You.”

“So. Much.” Hobi finishes for him.

“SO MUCH!” Jin yells, “Visiting you once in Japan was not enough.” Jin begins to pull back, Hobi follows his lead but Taehyung continues to smoosh his cheek into your head, squeezing you so tightly it makes you laugh out loud.

“Okay, I believe it is my turn.” You hear Yoongi say calmly. “You can let go now Taehyung.”

“NEVER!” Taehyung giggles, “But fine.”

Yoongi goes in for a rather quick hug, but holds on to your arms as he speaks.

“The record shop was not the same with out you.” He somewhat whispers. “I just had to hear about Tae’s girl problems the whole time.” He teases.

“And Jin was right,” you hear Namjoon walk closer to you, bringing you in for a tight hug. “Visiting once in Japan was not enough.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you guys in what? 6 months?”

“And girl, that is too damn long.” You hear her voice cut through and you bubble over with excitement.

“TRINA!” you practically jump in her arms, she laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much and you can’t help but smile.

“And Holly too!” you rush to Holly’s arms, she hugs you back and you feel like everyone is here and you feel so whole.

“Happy?” you hear Jungkook’s voice from beside you. “We thought we would surprise you with a little welcome back party…”

“I’m so happy.” You admit, “Thank you.” You reach for Jungkook’s hand and interlock your fingers with his. “As much as I can’t wait to hang out here with everyone,” you bring your voice down to a whisper. “I also can’t wait until I am home alone with you.”

Jungkook turns a bit red before he’s smirking, squeezing your hand. He leads you to Jin’s backyard where everyone is starting to end up.

“We don’t have to wait until home before you can be alone with me.” Jungkook whispers back, you can hear his teasing tone and it goes straight to your lady bits.

“Be careful.” You warn, “I might take you up on that.”

“God, y/n. I am hoping you do.” He stops at the doorway and pulls you into his body, he grinds he hips into yours and you feel his half hard length.

“What are you thinking about that’s got you so worked up?” you tease, your hands running down his chest.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“Your lips have been on my mind since we got here.”

“Want to kiss me baby?” you press yourself into his chest, tipping your head up.

“So fucking badly.” But before Jungkook can lean down and capture your lips he hears someone’s throat being obnoxiously cleared.

“You guys are so fucking gross. Can’t even check if you’re alone.” Jimin rolls his eyes, he continues walking towards you two with a cup in his hand.

“Why is it always me that you guys always end up making out in front of?” He whines, and you chuckle. Not feeling too embarrassed since it’s just Jimin.

“Sorry, sorry.” You step away from Jungkook and put your hands on your hips. “Where’s my drink, hm?”

“Here, take this one. Not strong enough for me anyway.” Jimin hands you his cup and you roll your eyes with a grin.

“What about me?” Jungkook pouts, “I want a drink too.”

“You’re both fucking babies.” Jimin says with a playful smile, “I’ll make your drink, but you gotta keep me company.”

“Deal.” Jungkook nods his head, “You can go ahead and hang with everyone else baby.”

“Oh, thanks for the permission.” You salute towards him and he waves you off.

You head outside to find everyone else with their own drinks in their hands, chatting away. You find Trina and Holly and go take a seat next to them.

“I have missed you guys so much.” You sip on your drink, “Japan was so cool but nothing beats being home again.”

“We missed you too.” Holly puts a hand on your knee, “We’re so glad you’re back.” She says as she brings her hand back to her body.

“Yeah bitch, never leave us again!” Trina jumps into the conversation, “You should of seen Jungkook, honey. He was so miserable without you.”

And then you’re frowning. You know going abroad was a really tough decision. Especially because you had just gotten into a relationship and just 5 months in you went long distance. Jungkook struggled a lot in the beginning while you were thriving in Japan when you had first arrived. He talked a big game, saying you guys could handle it, saying going a few months at a time without seeing one another wouldn’t be such a big deal but it was…he grew depressed without you.

You nod your head once you get out of your thoughts, you take another sip of your drink and then you hear Taehyung speak up as he walks to you girls.

“He wasn’t that bad guys.” Taehyung assures you. “Maybe in the beginning… but after his first visit with y/n he lit up light a spot light and he got stronger. Plus he had us.” He gestures towards everyone.

You look up at Taehyung and feel immensely grateful…for his words and because he’s right, Jungkook had all of them to lean on.

“So when are you going to do it?” Jimin gives Jungkook a knowing smile, “Here? Some fancy date?” he continues pouring a “couple” shots of Vodka in his cup.

“Why the hell would I do it here? I planned a whole date, of course. I want everything to be fucking perfect.”

“When’s the date?”

“Tomorrow.”

Jimin watches as Jungkook wipes his assumingly sweaty palms on his jeans and he can’t help but softly smile towards his friend.

“It’s going to be fine, Jungkook.” Jimin’s tender voice does little to calm Jungkook though.

“What if she says—”

“She’s going to say yes.” Jimin sets the bottle of vodka down, he swirls his mixed drink with a spoon, giving it a look before shoving it into Jungkook’s hands.

“You need this one more than me.” He laughs, “Listen, just relax.”

“I can’t relax, I want tomorrow to be here already. But I am so nervous. What if things don’t go smoothly at the restaurant? What if—”

“What if it all goes wrong? Really?” Jimin raises a single brow. “But what if it all goes right?” he pats Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just do it when the moment feels right?”

“How will I know when that moment is?” Jungkook bows his head. A frown decorating his face.

“You’ll just know.”

You can’t believe you’re back home with all your friends. You’ve missed this. You don’t regret going abroad at all, you needed it, if you’re being honest. You needed to do something for you no matter what. You needed to go out into the world and experience something wild and new. And Japan was an absolutely perfect experience. Every time Jungkook would visit you two would have such a lovely time, but saying goodbye never got easier.

“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook snuggles you closer to his body, you’re sitting between his legs on the grass on a blanket.

“Oh nothing.” You sing. “Nothing.”

“y/n! Do you want chicken or beef?” You hear Jin ask over the light music filling the backyard.

“Chicken!” you yell back and sink lower to the ground, cuddling closer to Jungkook.

“I’m serious y/n…” Jungkook begins, “You don’t have to wait until we’re home to be alone with me.”

“Follow me inside the house then.” You turn your head to face him and you wink, “I’ll be in the bathroom.”

“The bathroom? Oh, we’re being classy tonight.”

~~~~~

Jungkook’s fingers barely touch you as he skids them down your bare back, you lightly moan at the contact.

“Missed touching you.” He says softly, he fingers now running up your back before they’re sliding back down again.

“Missed being touched by you.” The side of your face is pushed into your pillow as you stare at him. “I missed you so much.”

It’s the next morning, you two are lying naked in your shared bed, the sheets barely covering you. Jungkook continues stroking your back as you lazily close your eyes.

“I’m glad you found a job here.” Jungkook admits, “I don’t think I want to ever be apart from you again.”

“Was it that bad?” you whisper out.

“Baby…no matter what we can get through it but yeah, it sucked.” He chuckles, his fingers graze your skin lower and lower. He lifts the sheets back until your ass is in view, Jungkook kneads the flesh before bringing his hand back and giving you a little spank.

“So, be a good girl and never leave me again.” He goes back to massaging your cheeks and you groan.

“Never again.” You promise. You keep your eyes shut as you enjoy Jungkook’s touch. You roll over to your back, bringing the sheets to your face and you sniff them.

“It feels so good to be home…” you say, “To be with you. In our home. Together.”

Jungkook feels his heart flutter, like a butterfly is taking off and flying towards the big, blue sky.

“Are you happy?” Jungkook asks, “With everything? With…me?”

You crack open one eye to get a look at Jungkook…he’s lying on his side with one arm stretched out to stroke your soft skin and his other arm is holding up his head. He looks so soft and like he has a glow surrounding him.

“So unbelievably happy, my love.” You assure him, “With everything…with you.”

Jungkook eyes expand before they narrow at you and he smirks.

“What about me makes you happy?”

“What about you makes me…?” you begin to laugh lightly. “Can I say everything? Or do I I have to list specific things?”

“I want a list. In alphabetical order, please.” He jokes. “Least to most important.”

“They’re all important!” you close your eyes again. “But okay…A: ass…” you say and Jungkook spanks you again.

“I’m serious y/n.”

“Dude me too, you have such a nice ass.” You point out, “But fine, A: your attitude. Even when things get hard you try to stay positive and it really helps me to be honest���B: body, you are really hot. C: Coc—”

“Okay, I feel like I know where this list is going.” Jungkook cuts you off with a blush. He can’t help but chuckle.

“Really Jungkook, everything. You make me happy when you breathe. Just being here with you makes me happy. You make me laugh all the time, you make me think about life, you make me challenge myself, you push me to do things for me, you support me, you are always honest with me, you…” you take a breath, “You…love me and you don’t make me doubt it for a second.”

Jungkook looks taken aback for a moment, like your words are really surprising him. He continues to glide his hand down your back, feeling your skin beneath his fingertips. Jungkook never wants a moment like this to end. It’s perfect. You look so beautiful here, relaxing after a night out partying and welcome home sex. He thinks this is the most beautiful you’ve ever looked. But to be fair he thinks that a lot.

“Because I do love you.” He finally says, “So much.”

“Trust me, I know. And I love you just as much if not more.”

“That’s impossible.” He leans down to kiss the top of your head. “My love for you is endless, how can you top that?”

“I can live my life trying.”

This is a moment, a special moment. Does he need a fancy dinner date to create a moment like this? Or is this the moment that Jimin was talking about? The moment where he knows.

“y/n…do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” his tone is soft, tender and shy. Your cheeks get painted a lovely shade of pink as you think of his question.

“Of course I do.”

“No… I mean it. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Me and you forever? Me and you until we move on to the next life, and even then you have to promise to spend that one with me too…”

“Jungkook.” You giggle, “What are you going on about? We already said—”

“You’re it for me.” He admits, “You are without a doubt, the love of my life.” He blinks rapidly as if he were trying to rid himself of any oncoming tears.

“I mean it when I say you are the best thing that’s happened to me.” His lip slightly quivers and you reach up to caress his face.

“Baby,” you begin. “I love you.”

“Then…” Jungkook draws his hand that was stroking you to his body, he scratches the back of his neck and smiles shyly. “Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s make it official.” He says and you grow slightly confused. Jungkook stands from the bed and heads to the closet. You lay here wondering what the hell he is doing, is he putting on clothes? But he walks back out still naked, with something behind his back.

He comes to your side of the bed and gets down on both knees, he scoots closer to the bed until he’s face to face with you.

“Want to marry me?” he asks, reaching for your hand. His other hand holds a small box and your eyes grow twice their size. There’s no way he’s…

“Jungkook…” you breathe out, “Are you proposing?”

“Well, I have a ring. And I quite literally asked if you wanted to marry me. So yes?” he chuckles and you gasp.

“We don’t have to get married for a while. But being engaged and planning a future could be nice.” He suggests and you want to faint. You were not expecting this. Not so soon anyway. But he’s right, you don’t have to plan a wedding and get married right away. And he is without a doubt the love of your life as well.

“Jungkook.” You choke on his name, “Yes.” Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath…you said yes? His shocked expression slowly morphs into something much more soft. He takes your hand and he’s slipping the ring on your finger.

“Mine.” He says with a timid smile.

You stare down at your hand with the sparkly jewelry accompanying your finger.

“It’s so beautiful.” You say somewhat surprised.

“To be honest, Jimin really helped.” He admits with a laugh. “And by helped I mean he picked it out.”

“Figures.” You giggle and you reach for him, your hands on either sides of his cheeks as you bring him in for a kiss.

“You really want to marry me?” you raise a brow at him and he gives you his dopiest most in love bunny grin he can manage.

“I wouldn’t marry anyone else.”

“Good, me either.” You peck his lips again, “You want a whole life with me?”

“I want you in this life, the next life, the life after that…”

He plants kisses all over your face and you laugh.

“Want to marry you y/n. Want to adopt a pet with you…want to put a baby in you…want to grow old with you…” he says all between kisses.

“A-A baby?”

“One day. Multiple times.” He grins, kissing you again. “Don’t you want that?”

“Yes.” You say breathless. “One day.”

“I just really want you forever, you know?” Jungkook whispers. “Do you think you would like that?”

“Babe, I would love that.” You bring him in for another kiss, then you open your eyes and they travel to the ring on your hand. “And we just made that our plan.”

[altariaas]

your face all made up (living on a screen) 

Adrien knows, to some degree, that it’s the important things that are the most important to say out loud, but it would help to know that someone’s actually listening. It would also help if things would stop breaking every time he acknowledged his emotions, too. 

i’ve taken a total of three steps into this fandom but sure, let’s skip to season 4 and fall face-first into the Angst™, as it goes. I just think Adrien should get a little raw powers of destruction sneaking out of control in his daily life. as a treat. Post-Rocketear so lots of spoilers etc.

Adrien walks home from the fight against Nino’s akuma with a raging headache, a developing case of massive anxiety, and a purpling bruise the size of a basketball on his shin.

The last one isn’t actually from the akuma. Those injuries got neatly miraculoused away, along with Nino’s heartbroken betrayal. No, the bruise is from Adrien’s incredibly stupid attempt to funnel his tornado of emotions into something concrete by kicking the front gate, only to completely miss and slam his shin into the solid steel rungs instead, sending him stumbling back in a pained fit of trying to think up creative curse words that won’t result in his father murdering him if he overhears.

Metaphorically, of course. Father’s not a murderer, except when it comes to the slow death of Adrien’s social life.

Though he really…can’t entirely blame that on Father, either.

And there comes the developing case of anxiety. Adrien swallows, a feeble attempt to banish the souring feeling in his stomach and the aching tightness in his chest. He wraps his arms around himself, staring up at the mansion and fighting the increasing urge to run. The inside of his cheek stings as he chews at it, already abused from how hard he’d bitten there earlier when Nino had started making…observations. Accusations. Wildly misdirected statements that definitely aren’t any insight to how Nino truly feels about what might be the truest version of Adrien’s slowly splintering self, if he’s going to be dramatic about it.

Overly passionate, Father’s voice echoes hollowly somewhere in the back of his head. Prone to fits of drama, just like his mother.

Spinning abruptly on his heel, Adrien beats a steady path away from the mansion gates and toward…somewhere. Somewhere that won’t make that developing case of anxiety worse, and where no one can witness his fits of drama.

The urge to send the front camera a rude gesture in farewell is violently stifled as Adrien keeps his arms wrapped tightly around himself, like the action will keep everything in neat and perfect and safe from view. He feels more than hears Plagg rustle curiously in his front pocket, but Adrien ignores the action, keeping his eyes fixed ahead.

Then the sharp reminder of how it felt when Ladybug ignored him in favor of Rena Rouge comes back and bites him solidly in the guilty part of his feelings, so Adrien pats his front pocket reassuringly.

“Just taking the long way home,” he murmurs.

Plagg’s eyes are calculating, almost greener than usual as they stare at him, and Adrien feels uncomfortably perceived. Not in the cold, bug-under-a-microscope way he feels sometimes when Father looks at him, but a hot kind of uncomfortable, the way he feels when someone looks right past the Adrien Agreste mask and sees—

What? What do they see? An awkward boy stumbling back against a wall because he never learned what his real self was supposed to look like? Hollow flirting and annoying with a capital a?

Fits of drama, Adrien reminds himself. He shouldn’t take it so close to heart. Not when Nino looked so devastated, so heartbroken. Not when Ladybug’s been giving him uncomfortably clear signs that Nino might’ve been right.

“If you say so, kid,” Plagg finally replies. “But I better get that camembert sooner than later.”

A half-smile tugs at Adrien’s mouth. “Sure, Plagg.”

At least Plagg still wants him around, masks and all. It’s a small comfort, but Adrien clings to it, his arms tightening around himself. Sure, things didn’t go…wonderfully, today, but it’s not all so bad. He got slammed into a van a couple of times, and maybe a couple of busted ribs, but that’s nothing, comparatively. And sure, Father’s finding more flaws in him to coldly evaluate than usual, and Nathalie’s growing paler and sicker by the day, and Ladybug’s either freezing him out bit by bit or starting to forget about him entirely and he isn’t sure which is worse, and his schedule is slipping further and further from manageable by the day and Nino dislikes a side of him so much it sent him straight into an akuma and—

“—kid, stop!”

Adrien’s thoughts cut off abruptly as his foot catches, his sense of balance going horizontal as he stumbles, and proceeds to nearly slam the rest of him face-first into the concrete. Plagg’s sharp warning echoes in his ears as he rights himself with a panicked yelp, hopping once while frantically hoping no one was around to see — whatever that was.

“Kid,” Plagg starts, but he doesn’t finish. He’s left the front pocket, his eyes bright green as he stares at him.

Adrien blinks, shaking the slight sense of vertigo off. “Sorry, sorry, I—”

Huh. What did he do? Rubbing the back of his head, Adrien glances at the street he stumbled over. He frowns.

The culprit is a jagged, snaking tear in the concrete, half a meter deep and the length of Adrien’s arm. He stares at the spiderwebbing cracks that branch out of it, fine grains of crushed concrete already scattering in the slight wind.

Weird, he thinks. He doesn’t remember fighting Nino this far down the street. Lucky Charm should’ve fixed that, even if he did.

“Adrien,” Plagg says, and there’s an uncharacteristically cautious edge in his voice. “What was that?”

Adrien cups a hand around Plagg, running a finger over his head in apology as he draws him out of view again. “Lost in thought, I guess,” he says, ducking his head. “Sorry.”

Plagg doesn’t reply, still staring at him with a look Adrien can’t quite identify. He feels oddly disoriented, like he actually did fall and hit his head, and now it’s spinning in retaliation. Across the street in front of him, the stoplight flickers — red, then orange, then red again. It flickers out entirely, before snapping back to a bright, acidic green. Adrien rubs his eyes.

“Let’s…let’s go home,” Plagg finally says, tucking himself back in Adrien’s shirt pocket. He doesn’t entirely meet Adrien’s eyes as he does, but he curls up against his chest, solid and warm, and it’s almost enough to banish the ache that lies beneath.

“Okay,” he says, softly. “Home, then.”

————

There’s a memory Adrien has, from when he was younger. It’s one he holds tightly to his chest, tattered and frayed as it is.

He was much smaller than he is now — barely six years-old, maybe, and small enough to hide behind the large statues his mother would put funny hats on to make his father laugh. She’d done just that earlier, standing tiptoed on the staircase as she’d slipped a terrible orange bowler hat on the pretty lady Nathalie said was from Greece. Adrien had giggled behind his fingers and his father had laughed, an unfamiliar sound that’s faded in memory now, but a bright and real one nonetheless.

It had been a good day, until mother had come down with a cold during dinner and Adrien had jolted out of sleep from a nightmare about giant, ugly orange hats that snatched up his mother with their ribbon-like fingers and took her away from him forever.

He’d sprinted through the house like the horrible hat monsters from his dream were on his heels, slipping in his socks up to the cracked door of his father’s study.

He hadn’t needed to knock, then, or even schedule a meeting. He’d slid through the doorway and barreled into his father, only to be caught by strong arms and swept into his father’s lap, warm and safe from any monsters that dared to follow him here.

“I’m worried about your mother, too,” his father had said. “But it’s just a cold, you see? Nothing to go slipping and falling down the stairs about.”

He’d received nothing but a sniffle in response.

“Alright.” Fingers had pinched around his nose as his father sighed. “How about we read a story then, until you’re not so frightened? Just you and me.”

The book they’d started that night was about a prince and a planet and a rose, and Adrien still remembers the sound his father’s voice made as it resonated where Adrien’s cheek pressed against his chest, his arms holding tight and warm around him, like nothing bad could slip in from outside and hurt him.

It’s a favorite memory of his, one Adrien finds springing back to mind whenever Father gives him a smile, half-formed and distanced as they are.

Lately, though, it’s a memory that stings to think about. It makes it harder to look Father in the eye, for some reason.

————

“And like, I really can’t say this enough, but I’m so sorry.”

“I told you, Nino, it’s fi—”

“No seriously, dude, I’m really sorry, I—”

“Nino.”

His friend finally jerks out from his puddle of miserable apologies, and Adrien gives him a weary smile. “It’s fine. You didn’t hurt me.”

“I dragged you into the boiler room then got akumatized,” Nino says, distressed. “That’s worse than like, the plot of eight different horror movies.”

“Your head was shaped like a giant blue tear, it wasn’t that scary,” Adrien assures him.

“I am ninety percent sure I remember shoving you to the floor,” Nino moans, not reassured in the least.

Part of Adrien’s mind, the part that sounds a little too much like a spurned cat whom hell hath no fury, or however the saying goes, wants to pipe up with the fact that getting shoved to the floor was five-star treatment compared to what Nino (akuma, Nino’s akuma, that’s important) had proceeded to do to him afterwards.

The bus-slamming thing had hurt.

Not as much as hurting Nino would’ve, though.

So instead, Adrien gives Nino the kindest smile he can, lays a gentle hand on his arm, and says, “As if the akuma gave you the biceps to pull that off.”

“Hey,” Nino knocks their shoulders together, his guilt ridden expression easing just a bit as he gives him a half-hearted grin. “I’m ripped, bro.”

It takes Adrien a moment to reply, too busy fighting the overwhelmingly — traitor — urge to follow the warmth of contact with Nino like a starving animal. He doesn’t need to fight for too long — his brain throws everyone thinks you’re a joke at him just in time for Adrien to hunch his shoulders in and give Nino an awkward little grin of his own.

Maybe his brain’s a traitor too, though, because he doesn’t remember Nino even saying that about Chat Noir.

He thinks.

Hopes.

Actually, his brain can go sit in a corner if it’s going to keep throwing stuff like this at him. Shaking anything and everything knowledge-wise that belongs to Chat Noir from his mind, Adrien turns his attention back to the scribbled game of hangman they’ve been playing on the corner of Nino’s history notes. Group projects are supposed to be fun, anyways, especially with Nino.

“Uh, c,” he guesses.

Nino adds a single c to the blank letter spaces. Adrien squints at the paper, his mouth downturning at the suspiciously familiar arrangement he has so far.

_adia_t, ca_ef_ee, d_ea_y

“Nino,” he says, carefully.

Nino smirks. “Mm-hm.”

“If this has anything to do with perfume ads—”

“Uh-huh?”

“Then I hate you.”

Nino cackles, scribbling in the rest of the rest of the accursed phrase as Max loudly hushes him. Adrien rolls his eyes and huffs, but he’s unable to stop the small smile of amusement. It quickly fades as his words to Nino echo with an uncomfortable emphasis in his head.

You’re being stupid, he tells himself. Adrien pushes away the nagging feeling. Nino knows he’s not serious. He knows Adrien doesn’t actually hate him. Just like Adrien knows Nino didn’t mean it, when he said all that stuff about Chat Noir.

His fingers tighten around his pencil. He’s not supposed to be thinking about that. Nino apologized, to Chat Noir himself, and just because Adrien can’t get the sting out, it doesn’t mean that Nino meant anything genuine by it.

Overly dramatic, Adrien reminds himself. Way too emotional.

The ache in his chest makes itself known again with a pang, and Adrien bites the inside of his cheek, glancing at Nino from the corners of his eyes.

Maybe he should tell Nino he cares about him, just to be sure. The words form in his mind, only to catch abruptly in his throat, thick and cloying. He thinks of how thoughtlessly he’s been able to tell Father he loves him. Thinks of how easy it’s always been to tell Ladybug how much she means to him.

He thinks of how neither of them seem to like meeting him in the eyes, lately.

He swallows the words, opting to smile brightly at Nino instead. It’s probably for the best. Nino’s always been better at picking up on people’s feelings, anyways, and he doesn’t need the kind of nagging assurance Adrien does. And it’s not like Adrien’s had much luck telling people he loves them, lately. Actually, if you look at his track record, he probably hasn’t…had any luck at all.

Adrien shakes his head, shoving the coldness creeping into his chest as far to the corner of his mind as he can, and sketches out enough blank spaces on the paper to spell fake mustaches are the new sexy.

If he can still make Nino laugh, it’s fine. He wouldn’t be laughing if he thought Adrien was annoying and obnoxious.

So see? It’s fine.

————

Adrien thinks about elastics, sometimes. The stretchy, rubber kind that Mme Thurston uses to pull back the longer locks of his hair while she’s doing his makeup, tying it up in a neat little explosion on top of his head that makes him look like a blond weed. She makes it look easy, twisting the little bands around and around, until they’re tight enough to hold his hair in place.

(Adrien’s hair is always easy, of course. Chat Noir’s hair, on the other hand, would probably give Mme Thurston nightmares. Mainly because Adrien has a fun little habit of shaking his head side to side until it’s an unrecognizable blond disaster, but that’s not particularly relevant.)

(Ladybug doesn’t even need to use elastics, opting for the soft strands of ribbon that hold her pigtails in perfect place.)

Adrien doesn’t normally use elastic bands either, but he likes the way they feel when he’s nervous, stretching and rubbery, then snapping perfectly back into place, like he’d never twisted them all out of proportion at all. The way he can hook his fingers in both ends and pull and pull and pull, but they never quite snap.

Felix has a fun trick with those, when they do photoshoots together.

(When they used to.)

He’ll press a little elastic against Adrien’s arm and pull the end back, just far enough, then let it snap back into place, stinging little red marks when it slaps against skin.

“Stop it,” Adrien scowls at him, but the expression wavers. Playful isn’t a word he uses along with Felix very often, but photoshoots are always more entertaining with him, at least. Or they were, until his mother disappears, and family photoshoots grind to an utter and complete halt forever—

—just for now, his father says, until something changes, until that something happens, until that metaphorical other foot that’s always hanging over Adrien’s head finally stomps its way back to earth and demolishes him in the process—

Felix replies by stretching another elastic between his fingers, shooting it toward him this time like a little slingshot. Adrien snags it out of the air, slotting it between his own fingers to fire back. It misses by a miserable meter and a half, because at the time this conversation takes place, he and Ladybug haven’t stayed up all night practicing their aim by trying to hit the left ear of Le Stryge on Notre-Dame.

Felix snorts, snatching the elastic from the floor, and makes a show of placing the band back against Adrien’s wrist. He pulls it back with a meaningful look, like an exasperated teacher. “It’s the bounce back that hurts,” he tells him. “Not the stretching part. When it snaps back to place—” He demonstrates by releasing the band, and Adrien flinches at the tiny sting. “—that’s the part that hurts.”

Four years later, having up close and personally experienced what a shattered ribcage stabbing into your lungs feels like, Adrien wants to correct Felix on tiny little elastic bands and what actually hurts, but the point, he guesses, is that he still remembers what it felt like.

He still thinks about those elastics sometimes, and how far they can be pulled until they snap back into place. How the little rubber band can make it so far, get so close to breaking, only to snap right back to where it started.

(Chat Noir doesn’t use elastics, either.)

————

For all that Adrien will stand by stuffing the worst of his emotions into a box and never thinking about them ever as a perfectly reasonable way to go about handling things —and whatever Plagg says doesn’t count, he’s a kwami who compares emotions to cheese — Adrien really does believe in communication as key.

Living it out is just. Another thing entirely.

But Adrien’s lived his life with a cold mansion’s worth of words left unsaid, so on principle, he really does believe that if something’s important, you should say it. Maybe nobody will really listen to you, or take you seriously, but at least you’ll have said it, and maybe at some point they’ll remember you said it, and it’ll mean something to them.

But maybe that’s what stopping him this time — he just can’t decide if it’s the idea of not being listened to that scares him, or the idea of actually being heard that’s worse.

It’s not like he wants to tell Ladybug he’s upset. It’s not like he even wants to be upset.

It doesn’t change the fact that he is, kind of, a little bit, (a lot) — but again, on principle, Adrien just — he doesn’t like being upset. It’s all uncomfortable and hot and it sits on his chest like a rock, weighing heavier and heavier until he learns to get over it.

It’s only worse when he tries to say something about it, because that never works. Maybe it’s a really sucky side effect of being homeschooled for most of his life, but every time Adrien opens his mouth to tell someone he’s upset with them and here’s why, it always backfires spectacularly. There’s a weird moment where something happens and the other person says their part, and suddenly Adrien’s complaints sound so stupid he wants to crawl in a hole and hide. There’s a dizzying one-eighty and Adrien’s suddenly the one in the wrong, and the other person’s upset at him, and now he’s got to apologize before he makes it worse than he already has.

And granted, most of those other people are just Father (or Father’s tinny voice through the phone), but he’s already enough to beat the lesson in.

Metaphorically, of course. Always — always metaphorically. Adrien’s never doubted otherwise.

“Maybe I’m just that bad at arguing,” he mutters, swiping darkly at his phone screen.

“I dunno,” Nino says, his voice consoling. “I mean, you were pretty good at it when you argued me into watching that one anime the other night.”

Adrien rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t upset with you about that.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Nino winks at him. “Unless your voice going all high-pitched about why Sailor Moon is the peak of animation is your default setting.”

“I wasn’t upset with you, though,” Adrien shakes his head, cutting him off. “I’m never upset with you.”

And he isn’t, really. Not even when Nino tells him, in an admittedly roundabout way, that he’s annoying and irritating and has loose and shady moral commitment to love and all its forms (or something like that).

He means, it stings, but only in the way Felix’s little rubber band snaps do. Not enough to justify picking an argument with Nino. Not to justify upsetting him, and possibly losing the one friend who’s stuck by him through the worst and actually shares stuff with him these days.

Adrien bites down on the inside of his cheek. If he’s not careful with the way his train of thought’s been steering itself lately, he’s going to accidentally show Ladybug how upset he is, and that’s—

Well, the fallout of that will hurt a lot worse than a little elastic band snap.

A lot worse than it already does, so. Back in your corner, resentful thoughts.

“Uh-huh.” There’s a quiet edge of suspicion in Nino’s voice, and Adrien stiffens, suddenly feeling horribly seen. The look Nino’s pinned on him doesn’t help at all, searching and curious and—

Concerned? Upset? Angry?

Adrien doesn’t know. He thinks it’s concern, but he’s also been thinking Ladybug’s been amused with him when she’s apparently just been annoyed, so who knows, really—

Shut up, Adrien tells his subconscious furiously. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

“It’s okay, if you are,” Nino says hesitantly, perhaps having picked up on whatever storm of emotions are slipping through Adrien’s schooled expression. “Upset, I mean. At your old man or me. It’s better to talk to people upfront, y’know? Otherwise…”

Nino’s expression twists in guilt, and Adrien’s lungs feel a little like they’re shriveling up and dying. Or maybe that’s just his chest on the whole, collapsing in on itself and taking Adrien’s ability to breath right with it.

He isn’t upset. He’s not. He doesn’t need to talk to anyone upfront about it, because there’s nothing to talk about in the first place. He’s not going to be overly dramatic about this too, he’s not. He’s just— it’s just—

Is it personal? Was it something he did, that made Ladybug trust everyone else but him? Did he slip up at some point and he just — he can’t remember? She’d told him, she’d promised they were fine after New York, but maybe she’d changed her mind without telling him and decided he needed to figure out on his own where he messed up if he was ever going to be worthy of her trust agai—

“I’ll be — I’ve gotta — restroom,” Adrien stammers, shooting up from his seat and all but sprinting for the doors.

“Wait, Adrien—!”

Nino’s panicked call is lost as Adrien flies down the hall, slipping down the stairs to the bathrooms on the first floor where he’s less likely to be found. He doesn’t feel like he’s going to cry, or anything so humiliating, but there’s an awful crushing sensation in his chest that makes him think he might do something he’ll regret. Or say something, any of the raging thoughts that bang off the insides of his skull with hurt. Something he won’t be able to take back.

Adrien wavers, planting both hands on the edge of the sink and staring at the white porcelain. His breathing sounds odd in the echo of the bathroom, wavering and off-beat. His vision swims traitorously, so he glares up at the mirror instead, only to falter as he catches sight of his reflection.

He looks…not great. Pale skin and bloodshot eyes in the way that’s likely to make Nathalie call a doctor on him. Which would be just fantastically ironic, considering she’s the one who needs a doctor, even if she’s never going to admit it and keep lying to him. Just like Ladybug, all careful smiles and words chosen with forced, casual caution, staring at him with eyes that are a million other places except actually seeing him.

Stop, he tells himself furiously, squeezing his eyes shut. Stop. Ladybug is not Father. Ladybug is Ladybug, his best friend and partner and he trusts her, he trusts her to have her reasons for not telling him. He has to trust her. He does trust her, he—

A sharp cracking sound tears Adrien from his thoughts, and he snaps his head up to find seven of his own disjointed faces staring back at him. He blinks, and suddenly the faces are clinking to the floor, broken fragments of the mirror scattering around his shoes.

His first thought, apart from a bizarre sense of not being entirely in his body, is a well-timed curse word.

Instead, what he gets out is, “Seven years bad luck,” muttered, almost absently, beneath his breath.

Typical. He wonders if moonlighting as a black cat-themed superhero that leans heavily into exaggerated acrobatics counts as crossing one. Like he needs more bad luck, right now.

What he actually needs, is…

Is…

He needs an escape.

From everything, it feels like, but for now, Adrien will settle for an escape from the school bathroom with all the mirrors that just broke.

…somehow.

————

For all that he throws fits of drama about it, the thing is, Adrien has escaped.

He’s made it out of the house, to school. He’s learned physics and grammar and math that Nathalie taught him six months ago, and he’s learned how to play hangman and cut class and tell your friend’s fortune with folded paper. He’s made friends, real friends, and he’s learned how to muffle loud giggles on the phone at night and what kinds of snack food Nino likes and doesn’t like. He’s learned how to pick up on a whole slew of emotions other than disappointment and apathy and mildly reserved approval, and he’s learned how to tell when other people are hurting.

(He’s learned how to tell how he’s hurting, but he’s unlearned that one faster.)

He’s learned the words it takes to voice that Father isn’t always right, learned how to curl his fingers tight enough into his palms that they don’t shake so much anymore, and he’s learned how to stretch like a rubber band against people’s anger, bending without breaking.

(He’s also learned about the perks of night vision and bone density and six different ways to trip someone up with the leather belt you’ve got tied around your waist like a tail, but he can’t credit school for those.)

And he thinks — he thinks he’s come so far, he’s learned so much, he’s so much stronger now—

Then his father’s eyes soften just enough to resemble the eyes of the man who held him close and told him how much he loved him, loves him, who stayed up all night reading Adrien’s favorite book to him and whose lap was the safest, warmest place in the world, and Adrien—

Hates himself. Hates himself as he snaps right back into place, right back into the Adrien who crumbles at Father’s slightest snap of tone. Hates himself so much it stings.  

Because it’s so much easier to do that, than it is to hate his father.

————

Adrien doesn’t particularly want to go to the photoshoot after school, especially not now that mirrors are literally breaking at the sight of his face, but — and here’s the fits of drama again — like everything else Father’s deigned to want, he doesn’t have much of a choice.

Technically, though, Adrien fantasizes as he fixes his eyes upward so the makeup artist can do her best to hide the darkening circles beneath them (“—really, dear, do you sleep at all these days—”), he could give himself a choice. He could make it fun, too, striking the perfect pose before transforming into Chat Noir right smack in front of the entire studio crew, and then Father would have something truly inspired to review that evening. A perfect snapshot of Adrien cataclysm-ing his merry way out of the studio and out into the gloriously free outside, that’s what.

Except then Adrien would have way too many choices to make, and even less all at once. The identity thing, being one. How to avoid Ladybug murdering him and dancing atop his grave, for another. Not that he thinks Ladybug is capable of murdering anyone, of course—

(—no, that’s solely reserved for him and his powers alone—)

—but he can imagine she’d be angry, were he to stage a reveal that way.

Were he to stage a reveal at all, Adrien thinks sourly, blinking until the stiff feeling of the makeup beneath his eyes fades. His makeup artist’s had to use the thick kind today, the extra-strength stuff that’s going to take forever to wash off. He stifles the urge to swipe at it, trying to relax into the feeling instead. Makeup is familiar, consistent. Sure, it’s technically another lie, but it’s one Adrien’s at least aware of. Makeup, he can see through. He can put it on and take it off himself, exercising some tiny semblance of control over what’s being hidden from the world.

Everything else, though…

“Carefree, my boy, carefree,” Vincent implores, his eyebrows furrowing as Adrien snaps himself back to the present. “You look as if you’re being drowned in mud, not soaring above the clouds.”

Adrien’s cheeks puff up as he blows his breath out, short and frustrated. At least Vincent is every bit as prone to fits of drama as he is, he reminds himself. It’s better to be stuck with someone passionate than someone as open as a brick wall, even if it is just Vincent antagonizing him with a camera again.

“Sorry,” he offers, giving him a weak grin. “I’ll get it this time, promise.”

Vincent doesn’t look entirely convinced, but he rambles about lighting and angles instead of scolding Adrien, which he can’t help but be grateful for. It allows Adrien a moment to let the smile drop, staring at the ground instead of the brightening lights around him.

He toes sullenly at the smooth linoleum of the floor, the solid black of Father’s logo glaring back at him from the side of his sneaker. Maybe he should just get more sleep. Maybe all the ugly tangled emotions in his chest are just residual buildup from being overtired, that’s all. Ladybug mentioned the stress getting to her a little while back, her own eyes bloodshot and exhausted. Adrien’s brilliant solution had been to take her to the movies, which had gone just as brilliantly as every other time he’s tried something like that, which is not very well at all. He’d been worried about her, though, even before she’d thrown him from a roof on accident. Ladybug carries so much on her shoulders, and strong as they are, Adrien knows what it’s like to be strung so tightly that even the slightest extra weight feels like it’ll snap you. He sees the same weight in his own eyes, now, even blinded by the studio lights.

His stomach twists. Ladybug’s eyes aren’t half as bloodshot lately. There’s an easiness to her that wasn’t there before, a lightening of tension, and yes, Adrien’s happy she’s feeling better, he’s nothing but glad that she isn’t so exhausted and worn, but…

But she’d trusted him before, even when she was strung her tightest. And now that there’s relief in her eyes, now that he’s taking a backseat and Ladybug adds more allies to their roster by the day, allies that she knows but he doesn't, allies that Alya and Nino probably know too, just like everything else, now that—

Was he the problem? Was it his fault, that Ladybug’s eyes turned shadowed and her movements wavered? He’s tried, he’s tried to be a rock for her, to be something constant and consistent as Adrien himself wants, but the horrible feeling that he’s not enough is now warring with the awful feeling that he’s the problem in the first place, because — why else? Why else would she shut him out like this? Why else would she decide he’s untrustworthy, after all this time, why—

The lights against his vision suddenly flare painfully bright, so bright Adrien’s forced to stagger back.

Vincent jolts away with a cry, waving his hand frantically as the camera sparks and sputters. Echoed cries of surprise ring throughout the studio as the overhead lights flicker wildly, turning the studio into a frightening mockery of a particularly bad nightclub.  

Adrien stumbles again, alarm coursing through his veins like a cold burst of water, and he darts for the intern nearby, who’s fallen over in her scramble to back away from the strobing lights. She’s just taken his hand when the lights go dark, plunging the studio into blackness. Before anyone can react beyond a frightened shriek, the lights snap back on, bright and steady as if nothing’s happened.

Adrien slowly pulls the intern to her feet, staring at the blazing lights as his vision swims, blinking against the sudden onslaught of dark spots in his eyes.

“Is it an akuma?” the intern asks, her eyes wild with fear. “Should we — should we evacuate?”

Adrenaline shoots through Adrien’s veins, his head whipping back and forth as he searches for a spark of purple, for the familiar edge of butterfly’s wings. But there’s nothing out of place, save the sputtering camera Vincent’s fretting over. There’s no sign of garish transformation, no following explosions, no loudly proclaimed demands for miraculous. In fact, if Adrien hadn’t seen it himself, it would appear as if nothing’s ever happened at all.

“It could’ve been the power lines,” someone suggests. “This place is pretty old, you know.”

“With Agreste’s standards?” someone else mutters. “I doubt it.”

“The camera is broken. Unsalvageable,” Vincent announces over the outbreak of murmurs. To his credit, he barely sounds shaken. “It must have been a power failure, or a blown fuse, I suppose. Nothing we can help.”

Vincent’s word is all the rest of the crew needs, and before Adrien can clamber up to inspect the lights himself, he’s being ushered from the studio, another intern furiously muttering about how she refuses to be fired for losing a model to “subpar building inspections” or something along those lines.

Adrien, who is already anticipating Father’s reaction himself, can’t blame her for bailing the moment he’s in the Gorilla’s hands.

————

Adrien is six years and three months old when his father finally finishes reading Le Petite Prince to him, and he comes the closest he ever has to throwing a fit at the ending.

He doesn’t actually throw a fit, of course, because then his father might not read to him ever again. That they finished this book together is already more precious as anything Adrien’s ever owned, and he won’t ruin that with his dramatics.

“Not all stories have the happy endings you want, Adrien,” his father tells him. Adrien feels his arms tighten around his shoulders, where he sits snugly in his father’s lap. “Sometimes you must make the most of what you have.”

Even at a young age, Adrien knows that he has quite a lot. The knowledge only grows as he does, just how much he has from his last name alone. His room alone could rival some people’s homes, Adrien has no right to want for anything.

And yet.

Sometimes, Adrien thinks back to the deep timbre of his father’s voice as he reads about yellow snakes and desert flowers and feels a stinging sense of loss so sharply it takes his breath away.

Other times, though, Adrien thinks about his father choosing to read a story about a boy who could only return home by letting a snake poison him, and wonders what that says about their relationship.

It’s not even Father’s icy tone that hurts anymore, really, Adrien thinks, as he picks at his dinner. Not that he’s likely to hear that tone tonight. Father’s locked himself firmly in his office again, and even Nathalie is nowhere to be seen. It’s quiet enough that Adrien’s gotten away with heating up the cheapest dinner they have in the house, and scouring enough cheese for Plagg that he won’t be complaining for a month.

Well, a day, maybe. Plagg’s a special kind of greedy.

But it’s painstakingly clear that Adrien will be dining alone, tonight. There hasn’t even been a single message fro Nathalie, informing him of all the lessons he’s been falling short in lately. Adrien twists his fork in his hand, setting it down with a weary sigh as dark spots flicker before his eyes again.

At least there won’t be anyone to lecture him, he tells himself, tapping absently on the table. The smooth wood looks immaculate beneath his fingers, the edge of his pinky still a bruised purple from the other evening, when Adrien misjudged the distance from the rooftop to his own window.  

Father won’t be able to lecture him about that, either, so it’s a good thing, really. It’s a good thing, that no one will be saying anything to him about the studio mishap earlier, or the darker than usual circles beneath his eyes, or he way he’s been showing up late more often than not to everything. Not about his slipping grades, or the way he keeps forgetting to hide his glare when photoshoots run longer than they’re supposed to.

It’s a good thing, Adrien tells himself, as his fingers clench around the table’s edge. It’s a good thing that he’s alone tonight. Being alone and unseen is much better than the alternative. It’s a good thing, that he can stew in whatever ugly emotions keep threatening to rise to the surface all by himself, where he won’t risk hurting anyone else with them. He can’t mess anything up if no one’s there to see it, so really, it’s a good thing, it’s—

It hits him, all-encompassing and overwhelming all at once.

Unwanted, thick and horrible and choking, the sensation of being traded out and traded off and stepped over, left behind and left out and laughed at in vicious whispers, closed doors and closed expressions and locking him out, like bars sliding down from the ceiling and cutting him off, trapped in place like an animal in the zoo, entertaining for a heartbeat than easily moved past for something better, unwanted and untrusted and alone, alone, alone again—

Adrien buckles and something howls in his ears, his hands burning as his fingers crunch through wood and his vision whites out.

For a heartbeat, Adrien isn’t Adrien — he’s the swelling of flames as fire catches light, he’s the pull of the undertow as it rips across the shore, he’s the blazing burst of lightning against metal, he’s on the edge of a cliff and stepping off—

And then he’s Adrien again, small and shaking and breathing in large, heaving gasps, trying desperately not to throw up all over the table.

“—drien, kid, Adrien, please!”

Adrien tears his hands from the table as if it’s shocked him. Black flecks drift from his fingers as they tremble, and Plagg splits into three as he flits in front of him, six pairs of green eyes staring at him in blazing concern.

“Plagg?” He barely recognizes his own voice, and his throat feels like sandpaper.

“Breathe,” Plagg orders as his image solidifies back to one, more serious than Adrien can remember him sounding. “You gotta breathe, Adrien.”

He does, in stuttering, shaky gasps, because Adrien will do anything Plagg asks him to. He’ll light himself on fire if he wanted, because Plagg is all he’s got.

Plagg is here, and that means more to Adrien than anything else could.

“Breathing,” he finally croaks out. “I’m — breathing, see? S’all good.”

It is most certainly not all good, because Adrien still feels like he got thrown off a building and into a blender, but Plagg almost looks frightened, looking from Adrien to the table to Adrien again, and—

Adrien freezes. The table. The stupidly, enormous, ridiculously expensive, lonely table his family’s supposed to use. The table he definitely, most certainly felt crunch under his hands.

Adrien follows Plagg’s gaze downwards, and suddenly feels like he’s going to throw up again.

“Oh,” he whispers.

Ice coats the inside of his chest, cold and creeping. The sidewalk. The mirrors, the studio camera, and now this.

“Adrien.” Plagg sounds so very serious.

He could explain most of it away. It’d be — it would be easy.

But this?

Adrien stares at the half-decayed table, ashes still flaking from the sides in a way that’s horribly distinctive of his cataclysm. A spiderwebbed path of smoldering destruction, all tracing back to where his fingers had been white-knuckled at the table’s edge.

Something snaps in the chandelier above him, cracking once and fizzling off into sparks.

It feels like something’s snapped in Adrien’s head. Maybe he’s lost it. Maybe he’s finally gone off the edge, and that — that can be his excuse, when Father asks him what, exactly, he did to the table. He can tell Father they’ve both lost it, they’ve both gone mad, and wouldn’t mom think this was all so funny—

A sound like a sob rips itself from his chest, before Adrien can strangle it into submission. He can’t lose it now. He can’t break down, he has to — he has to come up with a way to explain this, he has to find an escape, or Father’s going to be so angry, and so cold, and…and…

Adrien goes still. Like ice, numb and calming, he realizes he doesn’t have to worry about excuses. He doesn’t have to worry about any of that at all. No one’s coming. Not to check on him. The silence of the house is overpowering, the tiny patter of the vaporized table bits as they land on the floor almost thunderous.

“Adrien,” Plagg repeats, softer this time. “I need you to look at me.”

Slowly, he lifts his head, meeting Plagg’s bright green eyes with his own. Something in Plagg’s expression goes tight, a myriad of emotions flickering in his eyes before he schools them back into careful calm.

“Oh, kid.” Plagg’s voice is gentle. It still sounds like a lament.

Adrien tears his gaze away, swallowing. His fingers, still shaking, curl into unsteady fists. They feel odd, almost scalded. Adrien ignores it.

He can hide the table, he tells himself. He can fix the chandelier. No one will notice. He can hide this.

He’s Adrien Agreste.

He can deal with a couple of cracks in his facade.

[jaysbestie]

hiiiii bby🥰can i ask for prompt 1 with jake, plss???🥺

Drenched

pairing; jake x gn!reader

genre ; pure fluff

warnings; none

summary ; you woke jake up on a rainy night to make memories.

"Bro, jake, dude, if you don't wake up I'll hit you with this flip flop" you whispered at his ear and shook him a little, making him wake up, his eyes opening slowly, tying to adjust to the room's lighting, given that you had switched on the light to wake him up.

"Y/n, we've been together long enough for you to call me dude or bro" he hugged you, pulling you towards his chest, trying to make you lay and sleep. "Jake, it's raining outside, you know," you started hesitantly, trying to tell him the idea that blessed your thoughts at fricking 3 am, "I was wondering,,, if you'd like to go outside and, have some, um, fine in the rain?"

Suddenly his eyes popped open and he stared at you as if you were a genius, or as if you had just said the stupidest thing ever. "I have no problem, honestly, I've never had fun in the rain" he said, making it sound a little like a question but his expression softened one he saw the huge smile that was plastered on your face.

He sat up and put on a huge hoodie, over his silk pajama button up shirt and wore a pair off socks before grabbing his slippers, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom so you could go outside. He checked outside his window to see if it was still raining, and let me tell you, it was raining raining. There weren't even thunders, however the rain was heavy.

He closed the window when he heard the bathroom's door open and your figure getting out. You were beautiful. Sure there might have been bags under your eyes because of the lack of sleep and you were wearing a hoodie of his, along with your long pajama pants and a pair of boots but in his eyes you were just beautiful.

"Jake you're staring" you said and puckered your lips to make fun of him and he quickly turned his face to the side, it still struck him how, even after the time you started dating, you still looked as beautiful as ever to him. "Also, please tell me that you won't be going out in the fricking rain with your slippers on" you stated and he looked at you, eyes wide, looking dumbfounded.

"Should I not? I'm even wearing socks?!" he stated the obvious, his multi-colored socks peeking through. "Jake you're going to ruin them, grab your boots instead" you suggested, returning to the bathroom to grab his boots. "Thank you y/n~" he said melodically and stared at you.

As soon as he put on both his boots, you grabbed his hand and ran to your front door. Jake made sure to grab a pair of keys before you exited the house and shut the door behind you.

The rain was heavy, but you didn't really care, there weren't many cars around and the streets were empty, so you started jumping around in puddles outside your house, already feeling the rain damping your clothes. Jake was looking at you with a soft concerned look, soon after shrugging his shoulders and joining you in jumping around.

"Y/n, do you want to dance?" he suggested while coming close to you and pulling you in a soft hug. "I would love to, Jake".

He smiled and it was like your world lit up, even if it was 3 or 4 in the morning, you hadn't kept track of time and honestly, you wanted to stop the time and enjoy this moment forever. "Great!" he said excitedly and took his phone out, you were a bit weirded put because you hadn't saw him take it with him and literally, why would he take his expensive phone out in the rain?!

You noticed that he was typing something and a minute later, you heard "Singing in th Rain" by Gene Kelly playing from his phone.

"Relatable " you stated and you both started laughing, he bowed and extended his arm out, "Dear y/n, would you be kind enough to give me this dance?" he said and you blushed a little, your boyfriend seeming way too much charming with his hair drenched, "Oh I don't see a reason to refuse, mr jake" you responded and placed your hand on his, him placing his other hand on your waist, as you started dancing around your garden and you were sure that your neighbor was staring at you, wondering what was going on. The song ended but you didn't really care, you were still dancing with Jake even if there wasn't any song to dance to. Your dancing came to a stop as you were both drenched and your clothes were stuck on you, even your socks were damp, your hair dripping. He lowered his head do that your foreheads were touching and you looked into each other's eyes, you were both mesmerized by each other. He kissed your lips, his lips were soft and a little chapped. Your lips were moving in perfect sinc and his hand was still on your waist and the other one was on you cheek, both of your hands resting on his waist.

You broke the kiss to get some air and hugged, just enjoying the moment and saving the memories you were making.

"Oh you lovebirds, get inside, you're drenched and you'll surely wake up with a cold tomorrow!!" your neighbor was heard and you started laughing while making your way inside your house.

"Thank you for caring miss!!" you yelled after her and she laughed too.

Oh what beautiful memories.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis is pining for Harry. We hope you’ll enjoy this list. We also have a mutual pining rec list here and we will have a pining Harry rec list eventually. Happy reading!

1) Down On Your Knees, You Don’t Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. this wonderful, wonderful thing.

2) You Had Me At Hello | Explicit | 4529 words

Louis works in the shop next to Harry's cupcake shop.   Louis pines after Harry until he goes into a heat and Harry finally catches up.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis’ bed when he’s cold. Louis pines.

4) Something To Live For | Mature | 5535 words

After over a century of waiting for Harry to realize they're mates,  Louis gets his heart broken when his friend announces he's found his 'one' in a human girl named Teresa. Wanting only happiness for Harry, Louis accepts that it just wasn't meant to be and decides it's time to let go of the immortal life.

5) Five Times Harry Styles Was Jealous | Mature | 6184 words

Harry's jealous all the time but there were five times that definitely stand out. Five times that changed Louis and Harry's relationship.

6) On My Mind All The Time, Say You're Mine | Explicit | 9261 words

“Dude, we’re inside, and it’s night time. Those don’t look as cool as you think they do.” Louis could kick himself, he sounded so stupid, but it certainly got the guy’s attention.

It was at that unfortunate moment that he noticed several other things about this hot asshole, that he hadn’t noticed just staring from afar. First, when Louis spoke to him, his gaze was kind of unfocused behind his sunglasses, and secondly, that he had a red and white cane folded up under his arm.

“I’m… Blind,” the man chuckled, awkwardly.  

Louis wanted to melt into a puddle out of pure embarrassment.

“I— am so sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” the man soothed, grabbing at Louis’ shoulders before he could get away.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, looking down at his shoes.

“It’s alright,” He cackled. “I get it a lot. More than you know.”

7) Let The Beating Waves Come Drag Me Down | Explicit | 9447 words

“Just try it, the worst thing that could ever happen it’s that you won’t like it” Niall had told him. And there he was, on the way to one of these pubs created for perverts, willing to break up the routine to try something new, something that terrified as much as excited him.

One night to get swept up in passion, one night to let the devil get in.

"Tonight, I’m going to make you scream of ecstasy Louis,” he said with a raspy voice full of control, making him tremble with anticipation.

8) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699

There are a lot of people Harry might expect to find on his doorstep at three o’clock in the afternoon these days.

It could be the delivery man, come to drop off the pair of boots Harry impulsively ordered online last week. It could be one of his neighbors, dropping by to complain about how a party he’d thrown weeks ago had clogged up the street. It could also be any number of his friends in L.A., who stop by unannounced most days to mooch off Harry’s food or whisk him away to try some new yogurt shop.

As a rule, it definitely cannot be Louis Tomlinson, although Harry’s blinked at least three times now, and it’s still Louis standing there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a duffel bag at his feet.

9) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10232 words

Nice guys always finish last.

10) Call If You Need Me | Explicit | 10770 words

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

11) Love Is Like This; Not A Heartbeat, But A Moan | Explicit | 13150 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

12) Just Let Me | Mature | 14714 words

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

13) We’re the New Romantics | Explicit | 16054 words

Alternatively, a high school au where Louis pines and Harry is not who he seems to be. Featuring peanut butter banana milkshakes, motorcycles, and first times.

14) Wait For Me (To Come Home) | Explicit | 16066 words

A future fic of time stamps where Louis finally comes to grips with a love he'd denied for too long.

15) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do.

In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) The Way The Storm Blows | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

18) Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark | Mature | 30830 words

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

19) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

20) Where The Lights Are Beautiful | Mature | 31170 words

The accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

21) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

"He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after.

Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that."

22) Before We Knew | Explicit | 39831 words

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

23) Eyes Off You I Explicit | 39396 words

A Charlie’s Angels inspired fic where Louis is the brains, Harry is the charm, Liam is the muscle, and Niall drives the getaway car - and Zayn is there, too. sometimes.

24) Kiss Me On The Mouth And Set Me Free (Nut Please Don't Bite) | Mature | 42074 words

Harry is the CEO of Flora Corp, Louis is his new secretary.

"...Louis wanted him so badly. Wanted Harry to pick him up, bite him, and break him. Make Louis his, make Louis cry, make Louis a beautiful, plump, pregnant omega..."

25) Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Aches | Explicit | 46625 words

A Friends with Benefits AU, in which Louis falls in love and Harry is jealous. There is some Karaoke singing somewhere in there, because how do you write a romantic comedy without a Karaoke scene?

26) Underneath The Moon | Mature | 46927 words

In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.

27) The Sidelines | Explicit | 47078 words

Note: There are mentions of Top Louis.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can’t stand one another, since they can’t keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other.

28) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

29) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

30) Inevitable | Explicit | 185917 words

AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[passivenovember]

🌋Harringrove Feedback Fest 🌋(PART TWO, because I am,,,hiding,,,crying,,,)

( @gothyringwald more thanks to you, duder!)

Art:

1. @opaldraws : Everything they make is so soft and perfect. For real, I think they might be my favorite artist in the fandom. This bad boy, an idea I had for kid Billy and Steve catching butterflies, is a work of art that never fails to have me weeping whenever I see it. I just love it so much?? Any time I’m drunk I’ll pull it up on my phone and think how lucky I am to know a person who is able to put so much emotional integrity into their work, someone who provides me with endless warm soup belly vibes from just existing in this space. My laptop is a shrine for your work and ILY opal baby, you’re my little tulip dude. 

2. @juu-riin : JULIE. Their doodles actively make me melt into a goddamn puddle on the floor. My roommates have had to check on me more times than I can count because I legitimately cannot handle it. Can’t stomach the sweetness that they give artistically and interpersonally. This little guy here of Steve getting lost in the supermarket while drunk and the part two live rent free in my mind. Julie, you are an absolute treasure to know. Your work, both the breathtakingly intricate pieces you do and your silly little doodles provide me with endless smiles and I thank you for interacting with me on twitter everyday even though I’m an embarrassing midwestern hick <3 

3. @gravegroves : If you know, you know. No one draws Billy like they do, no one is able to make me physically stop and take a minute to catch my breath with every single piece like they do. This dude in particular takes my fucking soul out of my body whenever I see it. They also singlehandedly reinvigorated my will to work on my Super Dark Times series when they sent a sweet and heartfelt message. Just such a supportive and wonderful human being. Have you thanked gravegroves for their work today? If not, go do it and come back. 

4. @lazybakerart : Their work is so uniquely their own. The use of color--the personal style, the feeling of temperature that is evoked when viewing their work...y’know, for someone who writes I’m terrible at describing their vibe so I guess you’ll just have to go look at all of it?? Especially this piece. I will defend their work forever and forever. Incredible. 

5. @monochromegee : I LOVE MY BABY. Their intricate stuff is SO BREATHTAKING. Forreal, the dufflebags should be paying my baby for their work to use on posters, I mean. Wonderful. Gorgeous use of contrast, light and shadow, and overall use of masculine/feminine energies. This one, I mean?? Shut it the fuck down? What is good? What is well and truly good? Also their cutie things, like her and them. Go away. Leave me alone. Get out of my FACE I LOVE YOU. Anyway. Go support my baby, alright? Tell ‘em Jaz sent ya!

Obviously, there are so many incredible artists in this fandom, like. Staggeringly so. But I wanted to shoutout the people that always manage to open windows and doors into emotion with their talent. 

Thank you all so much for the things you do. I appreciate it.

[kam-tree]

how BiNu confessed

Hello! I’m back~ It’s exam season but here I am. I hope you guys like it! Don’t be shy and request anything if you would like.

Theme: Fluff

Eunwoo

hey, I’m sorry I’m busy today! Just reminding you I love you

A smile painted your face as you sent a reply back to your boyfriend, Eunwoo. You were a little sad that Eunwoo had a schedule today but it is what it is right? It’s his job after all. Although you missed seeing him, he always made an effort to video call every night and occasionally would drop by your apartment at night before heading back to the dorms. He always tried his best and for that you loved him dearly.

That’s alright! I’ll enjoy this nice day for the both of us~ Keep working hard! I love you

After sending your message, you were immediately met with a cute emoticon. Giggling like a 5 year old, you sent one back. Truthfully everyday seemed like a dream. It was such a blessing you met Eunwoo and the fact you were in a relationship with him still felt surreal. He was such a caring and selfless man, always considerate and hard working. When you first met him, it was a little hard to believe how polite and caring of a human being he was. You didn’t know if he acted this way because he had an image to up hold or not. But your doubt was eventually proven wrong after some drinks and a very real and raw conversation.

You still remember the smell and sounds of the tent bar. The loud business men coming to drink after a long day of work, the group college students ignoring their final assignments and the smell of soju. Eunwoo and you weren’t very close friends back then and it was certainly awkward when your mutual friend didn’t show up. However 3 bottles of soju seemed to do the trick and helped you both let loose and start talking about your dreams and insecurities. It was refreshing getting to know Eunwoo and his mind. At the moment you really admired him as a person, how hard working he was and how considerate he was. You felt horrible for misjudging him and doubting him. It was probably then when your feelings for him started.

It took eight more months for anything to actually start. You tried your hardest to stop your feelings for him as you didn’t want them ruining your friendship. Anyway, how could he feel the same way about you anyway? That’s why you were taken aback when you were both resting on the couch on your apartment and he suddenly became agitated. You had invited some friends over just to have a little breather and you were all playing charades. 

At first you thought he was just frustrated because his team couldn’t play for shit and yours won as the game ended with 9-5. Rocky had you on his back as you both celebrated your win with your two other teammates. You were laughing while holding Rocky tightly so you wouldn’t fall as he began dancing when you felt an icy stare coming from somewhere. Your eyes met Eunwoo’s and you were slightly taken aback by the glare he held on his face. Confused, you watch him flee to the kitchen. You got off Rocky as gave another ‘whoop’ before making a beeline to the kitchen.

“Look, if I’ve done anything wrong, let me know. I can’t read your mind and glaring won’t help either ok?” You spoke bluntly as you found it rare that he would be this childish.

“I just- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to glare.” He said as he brushed his hair back and swallowing a lump in his throat.

“Well I can still see your not in a very good mood. Do you want to step out and talk about it?” You offered with a smile while taking his hand and staring into his eyes. You swear you melted right then and there. He seemed to think about it before nodding and letting you lead the way to the door. 

“Damn it, it’s cold” you muttered to yourself as you left the warmth of your apartment. You felt a pair of arms wrap around you and suddenly it felt like you were in a sauna. Trying to get rid of the blush on your cheeks, you wriggle out of his embrace. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll survive. Now tell me what’s been plaguing your mind.”  You said turning around, trying to not be flustered. Although you felt safe in his arms; as if you belonged, you didn’t want to give yourself false hope. To him it might just be an innocent hug but it sent butterflies to your stomach. 

“I have feelings for someone and I don’t think they’ll return them.” He said as he stepped back and met your eyes. You felt your stomach drop. Ignoring the slight pain in your chest, you turn to look at him as he stares back at you. 

“Ahh, I see. How would you know if you haven’t heard that person’s answer? There’s a 50% chance they’ll return them or not. But seeing as to how you act like the perfect gentleman, the chances are probably higher.” You smiled before looking away, trying to not let him see the slight pain in your face.

“Is that so?” He said as he moved to were your eyes were looking off to and waited until your eyes met his. “What are the chances of you returning my feelings?”

“What?” Honestly, you were so confused. What was happening? Is what you were thinking happening? He smiled before holding your hand in his.

“I like you Y/N” A blush seem to creep on both of your faces. Unable to meet his gaze, you nod.

“Me too” You felt time stop as he smiled at you and pulled you into a tight embrace against his chest.

“Thank god.” He sighed in relief before planting a light peck on your lips.

Moonbin

“You made all this?” Moonbin said with excitement and disbelief as he stared at the six lunch boxes in front of him; one for each member of Astro. “Thank you so much!” And with that, you were engulfed into a big bear hug. 

You dramatically gasp for breath before he pulls away and places a kiss on your forehead. Smiling up at the man, you realise how awfully tired he looked. A pout soon graced your face, Moonbin noticing immediately. He stroked you hair and put his chin on your head, pulling you into a gentle and warm hug.

“I’m alright. I have your food to energise me through the day! Don’t worry about me.” He said gently.

“I know I shouldn’t worry, I just wish you could have a day off and sleep like sleeping beauty. To rest properly.” You mumbled into his shirt. You feel him kiss you head before pulling away and looking into your eyes.

“My day off’s on Sunday, I’ll make sure to sleep like the dead.” He laughed before turning to the door “I’m super late! I’ll text you when I get there and when I should be home. I love you~” And with a kiss goodbye, he was out the door. 

Watching him leave in a rush always made you laugh, his poor time management was always the product of him sleeping in. It always worried you how he’d come home late and leave early for his schedules. He practiced like crazy as well. It also reminded you of when you first met.

Your friend wanted to introduce you to a dancer as you expressed an interest in it. You were hesitant, as your interest was only a passing comment and not meant to be taken seriously, however you also suspected this was your friend’s way of setting you up with someone. They had been constantly asking you if you were seeing anyone for the past year. You were too busy with your part time job and being a full time student in culinary school. With some persuasion, you finally went with your friend to meet this man. Honestly you kind of judged Moonbin when he was 20 minutes late. You were thinking about how you could have been studying for an upcoming exam and here you were, waiting for some dude. However after talking to man, you seemed to become smitten with him. He was funny and gentle but was also ready to fight with anyone who thought cats were annoying. 

As cheesy as it is to say, time seemed to stop. You didn’t really pay mind to your friend leaving you two alone and you also didn’t realise the sun was already beginning to set. You realised that this man was a breath of fresh air to you so when he asked for you number as you were both about to part ways, you absolutely did not hesitate.

Your relationship was little complicated for the next 4 months. It was like you were a couple but at the same time you weren’t official. Both of you would go on dates, talk late at night and would have movie nights in your apartment. You both knew that each other was interested but neither had actually spoken about it. It was a strange and weird situation to be in.  

At first it made you heart flutter every time your hands would brush past each others or when your faces would be so close to a kiss. But soon you grew a little tired of it. Moonbin seemed to be the person you could count on whenever you wanted to rant about school or your co workers and would always taste you dishes with very honest feedback, however you were tired of this wishy washy relationship you both had. As much as you knew that Moonbin was a kind and caring man, you insecurities started to overtake your mind. You often wondered if he was like this another girl, he was an awfully handsome and talented man so who wouldn’t want to have him?

You began to think he only saw you as some fun on the side. 

Your chain of thought was disrupted when you heard a knock at your door. Ah, that’s right, Moonbin said he was coming over after recording. Opening the door, you were greeted with a smile that could easily turn you into a puddle. He had said he couldn’t stay long as he needed to back at the dorms before 10pm. A little confused as to why he would bother coming over if he needed to leave in 45 minutes, you followed him into the apartment.

“Then why are you coming to visit then silly?” You said in a playful tone as you offered him some gimbap you made. You were shocked when he rejected them. What as going on? Moonbin rejecting food? And then it dawned on you. He was probably gonna tell you that he wasn’t interested and only saw you as friend.

“I’m sorry I should have done this earlier” You braced yourself for the rejection as your hands found the hem of you shirt and played around with it. He looked into you eyes with an intensity you had never seen before and it made you nervous. As you felt some tear beginning to form, you look away from his gaze.

“I like you. Like a lot. I’m sorry for not telling you early enough. I was just shy and didn’t know if you would like me back.” what? You looked back at him in confusion. Your mind went blank and you were left to just stare, no words seeming to form. 

When you didn’t reply back, his head hung down for little bit before he looked back up at you with a bittersweet smile. “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to confess my feelings.” As he was about to reach for the door handle, you snapped out of your trance and rushed to stop him.

He was caught by surprise when he left your arms embrace him from the back. You didn’t trust yourself to talk to him with his eyes on you so you mumbled it into his back. “I like you too. I like so much. I didn’t know if you actually liked me or if you were just having some fun” He quickly turned around to your words and cupped your face.

“Of course I like you. How could I not?” Moonbin smiled as he kissed your forehead and then your lips.

[alfredosauce50]

What makes me human [Cyberpunk! America x reader] 16

Wordcount: 4, 869 Rating: M for strong language, moderate sexual references, violence, and gore The reader is referred to as she/her. "God knows. Maybe you have a greater purpose to serve. Why else did he make you?" Chapter synopsis: And you never considered yourself trigger-happy. But the shots have been fired. They're dead before you can interrogate them. Allen is eager to convince you it was the right thing to do, but even he can't deny the horrors that will follow. The war rages on. Alfred stays ignorant for the meantime, and you revel in his bliss of it. You share one last peaceful night with him before the fearful unknown.

16 - Nothing breaks like a heart

The reader is referred to as she/her.

An ear-splitting bang echoed in the pool room. Blood and small chunks of flesh landed on the tiled floor in a splat. Tearing his hand away with a shaky gasp, he held the wrist and hunched over to writhe in agony. "Ergh... Fuck!" He spluttered, feeling a violent tremble seize his wounded hand. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."

He lifted his head to glare at you with the utmost betrayal. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

A sizely hole formed in his palm. The exposed flesh was still oozing out blood like a full sponge, dripping onto the ground in generous puddles. A whole section of his bone was missing. And you did it. You shot Alfred. You paled in horror for a few moments, but as he panted before you with tears streaming down his red and enflamed face, it became apparent that your guilt was unfounded.

"What I did that for? You aren't Alfred!" You exasperated, raising the gun shakily to point it between his fearful eyes. "You're a clone!"

A sour flavor was left in your mouth as you spat out the word. His origins were no mystery.

Nobody else could have been responsible or capable of such a heinous crime. To grow an abomination from whatever DNA was left in their lab. You only imagined them to be created for one purpose, and one purpose only. To torment, kill, and replace Alfred. As the thoughts raced through your head, you tightened your finger around the trigger—"Wait, wait! Don't shoot!" He begged, throwing his arms up.

"I know you're freaking out right now, but I have no idea what's going on either!"

Gritting your teeth at his excuse, you were determined to not let it get to you. But it was easier said than done. "Shut up! Don't think for a second you can fool me!" Despite the cutting conviction of your voice, you took on a terrified expression at the thought of shooting him. "I'm gonna do it. You're nothing but a freak of nature! And you'll never... Never..."

As you trailed off, you realized you indeed couldn't pull the trigger.

Not when the barrel was aimed at a face that looked just like Alfred's.

It was contorted with so much fear and despair, pleading silently for you to not hurt him. The fact that he was a spitting image of him made it even harder. How he moved, talked, acted—seeing it chipped away your resolve, leaving you all but paralyzed. The gun was left juddering furiously in your hands in light clacks, holding him hostage at the moment before death.

"Please. Please don't do it." He whispered, bringing his hands down to shield himself. "You gotta help me, (F/N). I don't know how, but I woke up in this body. That's... That's all that happened."

How painfully familiar it sounded.

I woke up in this body.

The similarities were so uncanny, it was cruel. Giving your head a quick shake, your lips quivered as you uttered this.

"You're lying. You're not real."

Creases formed between his brows. "I'm not lying! And I am real! I'll prove it to you, I swear! We went through so much shit together, like uh—" He pointed at you and laughed nervously as he sifted through the scanty archives of his memories. "—I kidnapped you. Ha! See? I know something! That's how we met! And you hated my guts at first."

You swallowed thickly as uncertainty slowly overwhelmed you. If he could remember that, he had to be real, right? No. You had to fend off the feeling. "That's not good enough!" Your finger stayed on the trigger, and the barrel, on him.

He tensed up as panic caught him in a chokehold. "Okay, okay! Well, er..." His heart was pounding harder and harder with every second he failed to say something. "... Oh! Remember the time I nearly got murdered by a cult leader? He had a whole kabuki mask get-up and everything—just like, like Professor Callaghan from Big Hero 6. You know that movie right?"

You sucked in a sharp breath. The title didn't ring any bells, but what he said had you second-guessing yourself. Was he not lying after all? Lowering the gun at that, your motion was slowed by slight hesitance. "... How... How do you know those things?" You asked faintly. "What are you?"

Before he could formulate an answer, footsteps thudded down the hall. Your thoughts came to a complete standstill.

Then, you heard a voice.

"(F/N)!" They shouted. Was it Allen? Your heart sank when you realized you couldn’t tell—it sounded too similar to Alfred. Or were you just imagining things? The sheer amount of panic was too incapacitating that you couldn't think.

So you did the unthinkable.

Raising the gun once more, you fired a shot into his abdomen.

The second you let the bullet fly, you regretted it.

Both your ears rang as the next few moments occurred in silence. And they would unfold in painstakingly slow motion. Dropping the gun to the ground in a soundless clatter, you watched him stumble back a few steps with his eyes popping out of his skull. Blood was spreading around the flaps of his kimono from a new hole in his chest. But the gore couldn't compare to his look of betrayal.

Of a heartbreak so deep, it destroyed you.

"Oh my God..." You raised both hands to your mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed on the ground in a bloody heap. "I just—I just killed—" Tears streamed relentlessly down to your chin as you stood frozen.

"(F/N)! I heard gunshots. What the fuck happened?!" Allen appeared in the doorway. His loud voice derailed your train of thoughts, forcing you to turn to the man. When you did, your heart clenched at the realization you made a mistake. It wasn't him. Alfred was never down the hall, and you panicked.

He never even had a chance to explain himself.

When Allen caught sight of the corpse by your feet, he dug his hands through his hair. Terror ran deep in his expression as he processed what he was seeing. "Shit, (F/N)." His nose scrunched up in shock. Never did he imagine the day would come where you would take someone's life. At least, not so soon.

But it arrived as an unwelcome surprise, unexpected and uninvited. "Did you kill that guy?"

You nodded profusely as a sob racked your body.

He scrambled over and shielded you from the grotesque scene. "Hey, hey, hey! Don’t feel bad! I’ve killed loads of people too, so welcome to the club!" The man rambled frantically, rubbing away your tears with his fingers. But who was he to tell you these things when he felt his own tears come?

"I’m sure he deserved it, and you were just protecting yourself, so don’t worry!" Allen forced a wide, manic smile.

His efforts to console you were in vain as you cried even harder. Pulling you into his chest, he rested his chin on your head that trembled to your coughs. "I'm so sorry..." Allen screwed his eyes shut and squeezed you tighter. "... I’m sorry I left you by yourself. This is my fault, not yours. It's my fault."

The string of apologies he spewed out was on your behalf, but he meant them with every fiber of his being. He had failed to protect the single most valuable thing to him.

And the blatant lie he forced you to accept was the last resort to preserve it. But it was time that stopped. "No, I killed him." You asserted shakily. He had nothing to do with this, and his eagerness to shoulder the blame only rubbed more salt into the wound. If you let him have his way, you would never live it down.

Without removing yourself from the hug, you pointed at the motionless body with your head turned away. "Look at him. I could never lie."

Allen lingered his gaze on you before obliging, albeit reluctantly. Nearing the corpse cautiously, he kicked its chest to roll it over. It revealed the dead man’s face in all its glory. Alfred’s face.

"..."

What the fuck.

When he thought he couldn’t be any more disgusted by the tyranny of technology, he was proved wrong yet again. This was clearly your father’s doing. And it was a declaration of war. But perhaps, it was just the continuation of the one that never ended.

Arthur was completely shit-faced downstairs. Slamming his beer mug down on the counter after he downed the whole thing, he gasped.

"Bwah! That hits the spot." His cheeks and ears were redder than a tomato, a stark contrast to his companion who was stone-cold sober.

Alfred raised a brow. "Sure looks like it. Dude, you gotta lay off the booze. You’re gonna regret it first thing tomorrow." Once he sighed that out, he rested his cheek on his hand. Then, he glowered at the hallway where you and Allen disappeared to.

"How long does it take to piss? They’ve been gone for ages. Twenty minutes? Thirty minutes? I don’t fucking know," The mechanic let out a low chuckle and slapped him on the back. The force made his torso bounce, much to his annoyance. "What’s your deal?"

The other hummed mischievously. "I was just thinking about what you said." Arthur squinted almost suggestively, causing Alfred to do the same, but only out of being appalled. "Maybe... Maybe they aren’t pissing. Since they’re gone for so long at the bathrooms at that—so maybe, urgh... They’re doing the nasty together." The Brit practically howled with laughter, having figured he was probably right.

It was a plausible assumption. As he humored the suggestion Alfred heated up more severely than his intoxicated friend. You having sex with Allen? His chest whirred and nostrils flared. He'd never been this enraged before, but behind the mask of anger was a deep hurt and toxic kind of jealousy.

"Shut up! You’re drunk and slurring your words. You have no idea what you’re talking about."

Arthur snorted. "Sorry to break it to you, brother. But the only time I’m this honest is when I’m drunk, so."

Alfred’s eyes went round. Without a moment’s hesitation, he shot out of his stool and made a beeline to the hall. Before he could make it far, he bumped right into the very subjects of his conversation. Much to his relief, they were in no state that indicated they did anything sexual by nature; you were in his arms and fast asleep. Not that he was happy about it. "Woah. She's out like a light."

"Yeah, so keep your voice down." The other grumbled, bouncing you lightly. "I think it's about time we head home. How drunk is he?"

The blonde blinked. He wasn't expecting him to catch on so quickly. "Off his ass. He's red as."

Allen clicked his tongue and brushed past him. "Called it." Alfred would have dismissed it as something he always did. But since he was carrying you, it made him feel like an extra. So when the man walked off, he followed with a scowl. "Can you get a cab? I'm gonna sit in the corner for a bit."

And sit in the corner he did, laying your body across his lap so you could rest. Alfred narrowed his eyes into a dark glare, lingering on the sight as the club music pounded away in his ears. And he told him to keep his voice down? "Yeah, I'll call you a damn cab."

You pretended to be asleep the whole ride back to Arthur's. It was easy with Allen's shoulder at a perfect height for your face to bury in. For half an hour, you were stuck in that position. There, you listened to the symphony of a trip home from the club: the automated voice of the taxi A.I and the drunken warbles of an intoxicated friend. Without seeing it, you could feel Alfred watching you for the whole duration of the ordeal.

Fortunately, you could escape any interaction with him as Allen carried you to the bathroom upon arriving.

"Oi, where are you taking her?"

The redhead kicked the door open. "What does it look like?"

"Shouldn't you wake her up, at least?"

"Yeah, yeah. Quit breathing down my neck, already."

"Dude—"

The door locked. Setting you down on your feet, you held onto his arms to regain your balance. Once you did, you glanced up at him with the utmost panic. "I can't face him." Digging two hands through your hair, you let out a shaky gasp—"Oh my god, I don't know what to do! I shot him, Allen. I fucking shot him! What's he gonna think of me when he finds out?"

He sighed and gripped your shoulders firmly. With his brows furrowed in a stern expression, he corrected you. "You didn't shoot him. You shot another version of him." Allen couldn't stress that enough. But there were many things he needed to shed a light on in this emergency bathroom meeting. "And it was kinda my fault that happened. If I was there, I woulda' shot him for you."

"That's not the point, here! And it's never gonna be your fault. It's mine, and mine alone. End of story." You swiped a hand across his face for emphasis. While he groaned in dismay, a brief pause followed as you regained your breath.

At least an hour had passed, but you still couldn't wrap your head around it.

"I can't believe I did that. I don't even know how I could! I panicked. I thought Alfred was coming down the hall, but—"

"—but it was me. Doll-" Allen exasperated, dragging out the pet name. "-you can't blame yourself for what you did. Shit happens. And who says what you did was wrong, huh? You probably just saved us all from a bloodbath. And you know that!" Rocking you gently back and forth to shake some sense into you, he leaned in to peer into your wide eyes staring into space.

"That's why you shot him. You did the right thing."

As he blurted that out, the memory replayed in your head again and again like a broken record. Intrusive thoughts were a bitch. And there was one particular detail of the event that you would never forget. "Was it the right thing to do, though?" You murmured, lowering your doubtful gaze to the tiled floor. The betrayal in his eyes was so genuine, you came to regret everything you've done.

"What if he was real like he said?"

You were asking some hard-hitting questions, that was for sure. Everything else was shrouded in a fog of uncertainty.

"Well, it wouldn't matter if he was real. Cuz' he's dead."

Allen's expression morphed into a dark glower.

"But if he was still alive, there'd be two of him, and not for long. They'd kill each other, for sure. I mean, if I found out there was a second-rate version of me farting around out there, I'd kill that poser for sport. Hunt him down like game." Lifting up your chin so you'd look at him, he flashed a grin.

"So don't feel bad. You killed him and saved Alfred the trouble."

Softening your gaze at that, you pulled him into another hug. Allen was always amazing at comforting you in the direst of situations.

"... Maybe you're right."

He chuckled and patted your back. "I'm always right."

But there was still one concern he could never address.

If your father made a clone of Alfred, a real and legitimate copy, there was no saying he could make another. Hell, you even expected him to. He could keep churning him out so long as he had his DNA. The only way to end this threat was quick to cross your mind, but you didn't want to think about it.

You would have to kill your father.

Allen figured. But today suffered enough bloodshed.

Before he left the bathroom for you to use, he held onto your cheek.

Flickering his striking scarlet eyes over your troubled expression, he caught you in a quiet gaze. You could easily translate the untold fondness he watched you with. We can still run away together.

He pulled away slowly, reluctantly. Then, the door closed behind him, leaving you alone with your thoughts. It never crossed your mind the first time he brought it up earlier tonight, but you finally understood what he really meant by running away. Allen wanted to share his life with you. Heat flurried in your chest as you considered the idea.

Tears threatened to return once you realized how much you wanted to do it, just not with him. The desire was there, but it happened to be stronger for someone else.

Alfred had been waiting outside with his back against the wall, arms crossed with a frown. It only deepened when Allen walked out.

"What're you lookin' at?" The redhead mumbled.

"... Nothing. Just wondering why you two spend so much time in the bathroom together." Alfred pointed out, glancing down at the cigarette between his fingers. He would have been jumping for joy if it weren't for wanting to look serious. "What were you doing with her in the penthouse?"

The other felt a spell of irritation hit him. It was always jealousy with this one, wasn't it? But he couldn't be a hypocrite. "None a'ya business, bub." He hummed, slotting the cancer stick in between his teeth. A sly smirk widened his lips as he saw the blonde tense up. "You saw how tired she was. So don't even think about it."

Don't even think about it, he'd said. How come everything coming out of his mouth sounded like a euphemism for sex? Don't keep her up with stupid conversations would've sounded better. Alfred huffed and stormed back to the guest room. Or was it just his mind that was in the gutter? He blamed Arthur for even bringing it up.

Hanging his clothes on a chair, he curled up under the covers. His chest was whirring again, and the discomfort was akin to something you've gone through before. Separation anxiety. When you did show up ten minutes later, he rolled over to the door to watch your form. Hearing the fabric shuffle in your direction made your heart skip in panic.

He was awake.

"Arthur's puking his guts out, so if you hear coughing, it's him."

Hopefully, some light-hearted banter could keep you from acting up. But that was easier said than done.

The blanket lifted briefly so you could get under it. Once you got comfortable, he didn't hesitate to pull you in by the waist to spoon you. Ever since he saw you sleep in the club, and on Allen no less, he'd been dying to do this. "... I tried telling him." He murmured into your ear. "But I've slept through worse. You flop and roll a lot."

The feeling of his breath on your neck and the sound of his husky voice made your heart ache. Every night was spent like this, warm and snug in his arms, but tonight was different. Inside, you were still agonizing over what you had done to him, even if it wasn't exactly him. So to feel his chest rise against your back, then his legs rub against yours, you just couldn't take it—it was all too much.

Rolling over to him, you caught his neck in your arms and pulled it down for a tight squeeze. What you uttered next captured your deepest and most inexplicable desire. To truly be alone with him.

"I can't take it here anymore." You muttered furiously, hugging him around his neck to start crushing him.

He let out a shaky breath at the sudden pressure.

"Hey, hey, calm down. What's wrong?"

"I can't calm down. I need to talk to you. Alone." Sitting up at that, you pulled him along. It came especially easy as he stood up, eager to understand your spontaneity. "And in someplace that's not here. There's just... Too many people. Four is too many."

Alfred lit up, but his growing smile did his emotions no justice. He was ecstatic. Things were always simpler when it was just the two of you. Maybe you were finally getting sick of these cramped living conditions, the scrutiny. At least, he knew he was. So it was almost as if you read his mind. "Okaay. Are we going on a midnight adventure?" He piped.

But then again, you always seemed to be walking on the same wavelength as him.

He followed you around the room like a puppy as you collected some things—your jacket, then Alfred's phone to shoot Allen a text. We're off to the nearest no-tell motel to talk. We'll be back in the morning. Setting the device onto the desk, you threw him his belongings. His gun and trusty coil of tools. Catching them wordlessly, he shot you a quizzical look. "Well, aren't you mysterious? Where are we going?"

Little did he know, your decision to leave the house for the night had only so much to do with random selfish impulses. From the outside, it looked exactly like that. Up and going without a care in the world, without care for Allen, and becoming unreachable for the next several hours. But after what happened, you just needed time to recalibrate.

"Where we always used to go." You threw your jacket on. Dragging him out into the hall, he caught a brief glimpse of Arthur passed out over the toilet before he found himself in the garage.

Handing him his key, you opened the car door next to the driver's seat. "We have to be quick before Allen tries to stop us."

The said man was sitting on the roof when he heard the rumbling of the garage door. Immediately after the sound stopped, a car sped out of it with an aggressive vroom and disappeared into the night. Narrowing his eyes at the rear window, he stood up and tossed his cigarette over the edge. Where the hell were you going this late at night? And with Alfred, no less?

He could feel hot jealousy prick him all over again. But it was warped with a harrowing kind of sadness. No matter what he did or what he said, he couldn't seem to get in between you two. Allen sat back down and lit up another cigarette. Giving that a few puffs, he surrounded his head in a cloud of grey smoke. Maybe he did know you for too long.

For eight years, he'd been a brotherly figure in your life. Now, he was afraid that was all he was ever going to be.

~~~

Parking the car in the courtyard after the most thrilling joyride, you pulled Alfred into the reception to book a room. Given his inhumane strength, your efforts to drag him down the hall were to no avail. Peering down at you with a warm smile, his face contorted with an amused look as you tugged at his arm as hard as you could. "Easy there, tiger. This is a motel, not a five-star hotel."

Between two walls littered with cracks was a dimly lit interior. Everything smelt like vomit, piss, and alcohol to boot, and yet, you were bounding beside him in excitement. "I know! But doesn't this feel nostalgic? We lived in these places for ages." You exasperated, scanning a keycard to unlock the door.

Alfred didn't think he was a sentimental person, but hearing you reminisce the past so fondly was enough to change his smile into a bittersweet one. "I guess." He couldn’t remember everything like you, but for now, he could pretend he did. "Motels are economic and discrete, so where was a better place to go?"

Once you both got inside, he felt your hand let go of his. For a moment, he felt just the smallest dash of loneliness—it was the emptiness of not feeling you somewhere where you should have been. Fortunately, it faded when you gleamed at him while you explored the room with child-like curiosity.

"I think I did a pretty good job at converting you." Alfred mused.

You flopped onto the bed to lie on your back. "Converting me to what?"

The mattress dipped to your right, so you rolled over to face him. "To a commoner. Or maybe something lower than that." He grinned devilishly. And for that comment, he would earn a strong shove on his chest. Despite nearly falling off the edge, he merely scooted back in. "I've never seen someone this happy staying in a dump like this."

"Don't give yourself too much credit. I just miss it." Pausing briefly at that, a small smile spread to your lips when you saw his, wide and as endearing as ever. If there was one thing you wanted to see before you died, it was this. Alfred's warm smile. As you lingered on the thought, you realized you were completely smitten with him.

But most importantly, at peace.

This was exactly why you even dragged him here in the first place. For some quality alone time, backtracking, and a good, long talk without interruptions. "I'd know all about dumps." You murmured, reaching out to play with a lock of his sandy blonde hair. "Zao and I tend to find our best friends in them."

He chuckled airily. "Is this me?"

"... Well, sure. But I was talking about Allen."

Things got dark pretty fast.

You both laughed it off. He didn't have great memories of motels, but laying here with you reminded him of what you said about them. A lot of good things happened in these tiny rooms, apparently. And they were what you two talked about until three AM in the morning, standing together out on the balcony. From here, the heart of the city could be seen, from the aerial roads of spinners in the distance to the endless hills of skyscrapers and blinking lights.

"I was thinking," Alfred murmured quietly, turning his head to you. The right side of his face reflected the glow of the city. But it couldn't quite compare to the hope that lit up his eyes, as subtle as it was. "Is everything finally over?"

You turned to him, gaze softened. For just tonight, you would let him bask in his ignorance. And yourself, in his hold. "Not yet." You whispered. The feeling of his hand on your waist was a feeling you could get used to. Reaching out to his other one on the railing, you guided it to your side so he could hold you properly.

Alfred squeezed you eagerly, pressing closer to your body.

Taking his face into your hands, you gave him one last gesture of untold affection. It was a culmination of raw emotion free from your own better judgment. A means to communicate without talking.

You pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

At that very space in time, a singular thought occurred to both of you—I wish this moment would last forever.

"But we'll make it... Just like we always do."

|

What would you do if I killed you?

Nothing, because I'd be dead.

What if you survived? Or left behind a soul?

Then I'll come back and find you.

|

The club was still pounding away, much like the headache in his skull. Sucking in a sharp breath, he suffered the worst wake-up call in his short life—he was still bleeding, and in terrible pain. He shakily felt around his wound while hyperventilating on the ground. How he hadn't kicked the bucket yet was beyond him.

"Get your ass up already. I know you're not dead." A man growled in disdain, giving the body on the ground a light kick.

"Gh—!" He let out a pained gasp and clung onto the ground for dear life. It had been years since he felt this alive—ironically, it was when he was inches away from death.

His perpetrator had their dark eyes fixated on him like a stain on the floor. Their pupils were as red as the blood his victim bathed in. But they always had a strong stomach for gore. "What am I gonna say when the owner finds out I'm the reason you even got in here? You're bleeding into the pool." They murmured, raising his leg to keep tormenting the other like a new hobby.

With a few more kicks, the body rolled onto its back.

"Ugh... Fuck... How am I not dead?" He coughed in agony.

The other shrugged, flicking their ponytail over their shoulder. "God knows. Maybe you have a greater purpose to serve." As cryptic as that sounded, it was nothing but the truth. He had more to his life than dying in a nightclub. Dying could be a part of it, but this couldn't be the location to do it, nor could it be by your hand—the closest kin to his creator.

"Why else did he make you?"

[eviclair]

I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of your actual thoughts(tm) on khr, so what’s your constructive review on the series as a whole? Like some positives and negatives w/ the writing, characters, etc. If u don’t feel like answering, feel free to ignore this LOL.

 tl;dr because this is 800 words of nonsense. i think you should know i would not know a constructive review if it bit me in the ass.

my guy i have not done a full read of khr in maybe two years and i know that does not sound like a long time but i have the long-term memory of a fruit fly. please bear with me. luckily for both of us i liveblogged the last time i read so i at least have my own sparknotes jdflaksjddaf

first off! khr is a satire manga!!! i cannot stress this enough, i can and will fight you to the death about this!!! “oh but it gets serious later” it grows a PLOT, thats not the same thing. khr is stupid as hell and that is both on purpose and my favorite thing about it.

i fucking love shonen man!!! its all about FIGHTING and LOVING YOUR FRIENDS and HAVING EMOTIONS and. bro im a water sign. my mars is in gemini, there is nothing i can do about this, god made me and said “get that bitch some found family and also some incredible violence” and we all just have to live with that. 

khr is so much all of those things that i did not realize they were being made fun of until very long after the fact so my current opinions are very much not the ones i started with jaldkhjdfhd but man. once i clued in i both loved it so much more and became 100% incapable of interacting with fandom in any meaningful way L M A O

i just. the main conceit is that theyve weaponized the deus ex machina eleventh-hour shonen power up. the “my dead family came back to life to kill me” trope is used three separate times. the big bad student body president is a delinquent. theres an entire subset of above magic god powers thatre just

the tyl bazooka was just ripping on the Timeskip Arc until the Timeskip Arc actually happened?? like fuuta’s special thing is that he can communicate with the Meta Planet to divine Character Rankings, i dont know what to tell you!!! the truth is out there!!! 

like DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER that time tsuna experienced a villain’s flashback sequence FOR HIM because i fucking do, i think about it every day,

so in the sense of “please critique the writing”, i cant do that because im pretty sure 98% of all the tropey bullshit is by design. do i wish people like the kokuyo gang got more characterization outside of being ride-or-die villain sidekicks?? of course i do but thats my own damn fault for seeing cool side characters and losing all higher brain function. on the other hand, hibari being the person he is and having absolutely no backstory or motivation beyond “get out of my school” is really fucking funny and keeps me warm at night, so. win some, lose some.

(the 2% of the writing that isnt tropey bullshit that i CAN critique is whatever is happening with kyoko. Bad Female Cast is definitely a shonen trope but its a shitty one and i want it to die. within maybe four minutes of kyoko being introduced she tries to body a man and then thats just never spoken about again?? wheres that energy queen?!!! let kyoko say fuck!!!!)

((this applies to haru too in the sense that all she really does is make moon eyes at tsuna but the way in which she does so is honestly so fucking funny and unhinged that it comes back around to being great. like yeah yep yes ma’am thats 100% bonafide Girl Who Throws Skittles In A Puddle And Calls It Potion right there please may i have another))

If khr took itself even 4% more seriously it could be really deep and compelling and i think that frustrates a lot of people, but i think i like it better this way?? half the fun for me is reading in between the lines!! the subtext, however unintentional it may be!!

examples: yamamoto is one of my favorites just because theres SO FUCKING MUCH to unpack about him!! canon gives us a lot of information about him just by virtue of the fact that he’s a Main Character, but paradoxically he himself is never really the focus. he just Does Shit and you have to figure out why on your own and i LOVE DOING THAT.

i dont love mukuro because he’s a fleshed out and nuanced villain, i love him because he says shit like “i went to hell six times” and never expounds upon that or “i can definitely trust the information i got from this magic monocle called Demon Spade’s Super Evil Murder Eye or whatever the fuck” and then expresses surprise when daemon spade is an asshole. he goes and willfully fucks up the only job anyones ever given him (impersonate 80 year old leonardo lippi) because he Just Has to shapeshift into a young hot dude and hand deliver byakuran, the boss of the Flower Family, the Family that names all its members after Flowers, a bouquet that means “i am in disguise ;) cant catch me bitch ;)”

like WHAT THE FUCK!!

i dont know man. i just like puzzles and khr is a gift that keeps giving.

(sidenote that should’ve maybe just been the subject of the post but re:i cant shut the fuck up about anything ever, i love tsuna so much. so much. his personality!! his relationships!!! his growth!!! his growth!!!!! his growth!!!!!!! khr has its claws in me because i see tsuna do something cool or brave or even deeply stupid actually and my whole heart goes AAAAAAAAA bc thats him!!! thats my son!!!!! my baby boy whom ive raised since birth!!!!!! suit me up and call me a reborn kinnie, fuck!!!!!!!!!)

[borathae]

Tequila Sunrise; Chapter 4: I really wanna say pls don't stress your self with replying to my messages, I know they're long & I appreciate that you actually take your time to reply so take as long as you need.

🖤Watch Me Burn - Michele Morrone

This one simply for the sexual tension in the beginning of the chapter. "Oh baby, I've been thinking about it. You know that I've been dreaming about it."

He's burning for her touch. She has so much power over him rn, I feel like even more than he does over her at this point. Obviously oc's desperate for him as well but he's literally a puddle for her. "Got me flying high, right where you want me to. Watch it, watch me burn, right where you want me to. Dim the light, my lullaby. Touch me now, stop pretending. Fuck it, watch me burn. Say what you think. Oh baby, I could lose my mind. You know that I can lose my mind, yeah. What do you want me to be?"

🖤Need to Know - Doja Cat

This one for the same reason but I feel like the first song is more his perspective & this one's hers. "Wanna know what it's like. Baby, show me what it's like."

"Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know). I just been fantasizin' (size). And we got a lotta time (time). Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe). Gotta know what it's like (like). Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa. Baby, I need to know, mmm. What's your size? (Size)"

This: "You're exciting, boy, come find me. Your eyes told me, 'Girl, come ride me'. Fuck that feeling both us fighting. Could he try me? (Yeah) mmm, most likely. Tryna see if you could handle this ass, prolly give his ass a panic attack. Sorry if I gave a random erection, prolly thinkin' I'm a telekinetic. Oh, wait, you a fan of the magic? Poof, pussy like an Alakazam (yeah). I heard from a friend of a friend that that dick was a ten out of ten. I can't stand it, just 'one night' me. Clink with the drink, gimme a sip. Tell me what's your kink, gimme the dick. Spank me, slap me, choke me, bite me. Uh, wait, I can take it (ah)."

🖤Teenager in Love - Madison Beer

"You make me feel like a teenager in love. And you make me feel like I'll be forever young." Cause jungkook makes oc feel like a child again, in a good way. Plus their romance is giving me very high school power couple that everyone's jealous of. Like jk is that bad boy looking dude every girl in school (this town) simps for but he only has eyes for that one girl & hes literally such a softie for her & oc, would definitely not say she's the good girl type but I'd say she's just experiencing so much new & exciting stuff bc of him. Like very much this energy: "you call me Queen, you're in ripped jeans and you just pulled up to a love song. Hearts in my eyes, strawberry skies, beat up Corvettes smelling of cigarettes." & "talk of the town, bought me a gown, told me you'd swoop me past midnight."

🖤Skate - Silk Sonic

For the rollerskating vibes 🛼

🖤Tiger Lily - Matchbook Romance

Ok literally every line of this song fits + the title.

Oh my sweetest anonie hehe

Watch Me Burn - Michele Morrone

hafhdsh 365 Days fajdsjf I am still laughing about that one scene where he is all like tying her to his bed and then he is all like "I'm gonna show you what you are missing" and then he just gets a blowjob like my dUDE okay? and what am I missing? having your rancid dick down my throat? I'm happy I miss that. show me you literally bringing a girl to heaven and back repeatedly and until her knees are puddy and maybe then we are talking HAHAHhah

bACK TO BUSINESS THAT SONG IS STILL REALLY HOT hhHAHAH AND YES OMFG I CAN 100% imagine this playing as Jungkook jerks off in the shower as he imagines fucking OC against it. Oh yes, did I ever mention that JK jerked off before he came back? 🥴

Need to Know - Doja Cat

DOJA CAT IS ONCE AGAIN ONE OF THOSE SINGERS that make me think of the Cocktail Trilogy couple omfmg istg those two are messing with my mind 🥴 100% this is her being all like "I know I could make you fucking cum" while Koo is all just like "damn" 🥴

Teenager in Love - Madison Beer

YES HARD AGREE to the part of what kinda vibes they give off. This is most definitely the typa vibe I wanted them to give off. Just that first time really falling for someone typa vibe, which just makes you feel like you're a teenager all over again no matter how old you actually are 😔 also I'm just saying, just them dancing and swirling on the dance floor to this song while the lights are pink and purple and make their faces look so pretty 🥺

Skate - Silk Sonic

Silk Sonic is THE BEST thing that came out of 2021 omfmg, I can literally recite the entire album at this point 😩😩 they were literally in my most listened to artists of 2021 and Leave the Door Open was my most listened to song (your bitch listened to it 69 times HAHFHSA) 😔 so YES 100% THEM HAVING FUN ON THE ROLLER RINK AND KOOK SHOWS OFF HIS DANCE MOVES WHILE OC IS ALL JUST LIKE "damn that boy can move his hips" 😩

Tiger Lily - Matchbook Romance

omgmgmg

"We're talking about our lives like we've known each other forever. The time flies by with the sound of your voice."

if this doesn't scream them just totally maTCHING OMFGM also Tiger Lily? omfmg please :(

Thank you again my lovely anonie! I really love those rec lists! 🥺💜💜 ALSO I JUST WANT TO ADD THE ONE SONG I LISTENED TO OBESSESIVELY DURING THIS CHAPTER

Footlose - Kenny Loggins

WHENEVER I THINK OF THIS SONG I THINK OF THE ROLLER RINK CHAPTER AND I JUST CRY FOR A QUICK SECOND