#sorry i am. the forgetter ………
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i like ms paint but i like mspaint-esque pressureless brushes more.
exclusive never before seen art process snapshot under cut.
this is what it actually looks like in the canvas. it was a warmup for a larger thing and took way too long so my frustration is justified i think
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#decapitation cw#gddddiiii ialways forgett that one. fuck#admin draws#fanart#anywways uhh tags! context!#first one is post tussle. because i am living vicariously through them#i too want to laugh with a friend and have that soothe the sting from the scrapes and aggrevate the bruised ribs#second one. heat map. pieces of you that you left behind#its something ive been thinking about a lot lately as a framing for trauma. a part of you thats still back there.#the way these two step on each others toes in a more general way too. neither means to. it still happens#i saw art a while ago that speculates on dirk being reminded of the disappearifier whenevr jake is on his shoulders and that stuck with me#im in such a mood with these two again sorry. this is what joining a discord 4 the alpha kids does to your brain#drinking sparkling water straight out of a liter bottle and jamming out to verka serduchka rn what can u do.#guess what im drawing. smile :)
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#a slightly forgettable middle evolution‚ considering snivy is really good and serperior is really good‚ but i honestly think this is a good#middle evolution. it has a consistent aesthetic and blends well enough into serperior from snivy. i like it. but it's just#slightly. forgettable#am i being mean? i know someone out there is gonna say i'm being mean so i'm sorry in advance. i LIKE servine it's just FORGETTABLE#because i like snivy and serperior way more!! waaahhh…#servine
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I forgot to update my f/o list ….. and my carrd……sighhhhhh i guess i’ll do that today….. ( IDIOT )
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pip
#gott dries#sorry so many people say hes forgettable i feel like its my duty to remind everyone that he#preferably a few times a day.#why am i like legit very emotional rn
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musing outloud. ford clearly liked and cared about mabel but he was also. kindof dismissive of her as someone to trust OR worry after too much? up until she was directly put into mortal peril to threaten him and (more speculatively) up until she was the only one who kept trying to help stan. he didn't consider her until it affected him.
he did similar to dipper, he liked the kid well enough but didn't really take him into consideration until he could see himself in dipper (and even in that consideration, he didn't really see dipper's relationships as something to consider. don't tell the others, trust no one)
of course I say this with all the love in my heart because him being self-centered is very much a compelling and well-considered character trait. the times he'd relied on others- with stan and with bill and with fiddleford- had all fallen apart, with him alone and left hurting or having hurt. interpersonal relationships weren't really something he thought of with anything warmer than the bittersweet. and in that blindspot of relationships he didn't really seem to fully grasp the responsibility that comes with his 'teen' grandnephew's trust and admiration, what would come if the apprenticeship as proposed went through. or the staggering enormity of love that was stan rebuilding the portal for 30 years despite every single warning and hardship despite all odds to get ford back
#gravity falls spoilers#gravity falls#ford pines#dragon rambles#sorry I rewatched the end of gravity falls and am going through it.#mabel's immensely important to me. so im chewing on writing choices involving her as a treat. home grown crops#idk I think weirdmageddon put a lot of these these things into perspective for ford. going sailing with stan is a really good step forward#guards! put this guy who was an actual active character for like 5 episodes into the character development hyperchamber we call 'a boat'#(I don't meta post often it's kinda scary so if I'm being fail forgetter of important character details girl rn just ignore me)
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🖕 for Cosmo’s father if ur still doing those lol. I’m super bored rn and have no writing energy.
🖕 - hed been perticularly loud about how the godparenting system is flawed, in general he liked doing protests, he got kicked out often, really passionate about his moral compass yknow
#cupid.exe#couldnt think of anything so this one was made on the spot sorry anon...... i dont have anything abt his dad made up in my head :(#also dont apologize i love doing these forever and ever (i suck at making headcanons)#sorry for taking so long to reply i am the avoider and forgetter . idk#i like to imagine this was before mama cosma was rlly possessive over cosmo.. definatly died after that#i
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Im doing a lot of thinking abt why roleplaying feels different/less natural for me in beastlife s4 in comparison to s3, and i think it’s because there’s ways i know i should be feeling (based on the perception of my character— when i was fresh out of s2 nobody knew enough about my guy to have opinions) vs how i am feeling. I’m catching myself thinking, “it wouldn’t make sense for my character to [blank],” and it’s like… what do i mean by that. what do i mean that this feeling im having in-session “wouldnt make sense for my character” to feel? It might be surprising to other beasts who know me for one thing and expect consistency, i guess?? but in s3 i just acted on feelings and then shit happened. what. why am i trying to enforce a character that does not exist when the strength of mcrp lies in its improvisational nature. I didn’t write this guy on purpose, why am i trying to write him now
#i suppose its both the perception + higher investment from myself#I care about this story greatly now#and want it to be “good”. But there’s only so much control i have over that#Its not my job to break down the themes of the narrative and try my best to make it cohesive im here to play games and dramatics#My favorite mcrp narratives werent written on purpose. they literally just happened naturally#Imagine if i went into elysium after death thinking “how do i properly conclude my character arc”#And not “This will probably land us a conclusion. lets ball”#I think there’s also more pressure because my character is universally seen as a bad guy now so im like. ohh#What if i make him too sympathetic on accident and everyone thinks im weird irl about it#Bitch youre roleplaying with cubes. who give a fuck……#sorry for posting like you people know what im talking about btw#But i also just think mcrp is rlly interesting#beastlife#<- i guess. I use it as an organizational tag but its funny that there’s a “maintag” now#Still using it for organization though idgaf#Unrelated but I got a good scott ask earlier today in my drafts that i just remembered#The forgetter#Ftr i think its good to be somewhat narratively aware but the way i typically do it is in an entertainer sense#and not a serious serious mode writing sense. i am much more comfortable with one of these over the other#which would be why playing s4 feels a bit unnatural for me at times#not to say people who do go into mcrp with this mindset are like. wrong. it just does not work for me i think
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im doing so good today <- guy who is about to lose it
#lemon man talks#I’m so relieved my dance teacher canceled class today#I’m doing so bad but I’d feel bad not going so I’d just have to hold my shit together and pray I don’t get hurt bc I dissociated#While dancing#It wouldn’t be the first time#gods I’ve just been holding it together the whole morning#My friends didn’t say a word to me today#I am once again being forgotten and slowly abandoned and then I’ll be alone again I’m so fucking tired#I’m so lonely and so forgettable and disposable#Like why would people even be my friends if they don’t like me dude I’d rather just be alone from the start#sorry. sorry
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😮💨
[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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Opinions on Dream? :^
SO many feelings about him omgg rant under cut please forgive me
okay so i don't really talk or draw him much cause honestly,,,most of the times i just think he's a bit....boring? or more accurately plain? not in a mean way either but just in a 'fades into the background' type of way like don't get me wrong!! he's a really nice friend to his peers, his feelings about his powers and aura making his relationships harder to navigate and trust along with his whole conflict with nightmare and morality about what's good and bad IS very cool!! and i love it whenever they write him to be complex and not on this black and white mentality or when he's just straight up following along his friends with no free will or with a dubious purpose without ever addressing his issues or feelings! it's just unsatisfying to me :')
or when they're making him the 'naive' and oblivious, (sometimes childish?) character being marked as the obstacle and villain along with the other star sanses from the fic's pov, always talking about doing good things while fighting his brother and not hearing him out about the balance, (and for weak reasons most of the time. like it's been so long and you STILL haven't sat down with him when he's, generally, basically begged you to just have a talk? guys please :'( ) or when they go for the victim sad dream always missing the old nightmare, where corrupted nightmare is the incarnation of evil, with no sympathy or emotion except anger and sadistic glee, killing and hurting everyone and dream's just trying to protect the multiverse and dream's always been in the right. such extremes!!!
LIKE!! i hope i'm not the only one that thinks a 500+ year old should have had enough time to idk. learn things? about people and manipulation and deceit? after knowing what the villagers did to night? about the bad things in the world and how there's a lot of grey areas in life and that he maybe reflected on his past enough to process and ask himself if there should to be a convo to settle his differences with nightmare (and you can make nightmare the stubborn one too! or have them BOTH be petty and imperfect and have some things wrong and some right at the same time like why do i always see the good guy vs bad guy cliché with these two when they're the perfect example of why positivity doesn't have meaning without the negativity!! as long as there's a satisfying evolution or growth that doesn't leave me empty i'm good yknow?)
plus i believe dream really isn't as dumb as people view him. i do get some of you saying he probably can't read or write since that's actually a pretty interesting idea to explore! but in general please let him have emotions other than pure sunshiny happiness or endless sadness like he's gotta have more depth than that! let him make mistakes, have flaws that don't just make him the bad guy that's always in the wrong by default, and be angry or suspicious or jealous or bitter or battling his mental health problems/depression or malicious or smart or witty or mischievous and silly or sarcastic or ANYTHING dude i just want him to be put into different scenarios where he can be serious or lighthearted like it doesn't even have to be long or perfect but make him feel real.
it could definitely be that i don't read or see much art about dream or really look for it hard enough but also i just. i feel bad for even saying this fr and i wanna be honest about why i don't enjoy most stories about him cause he always gets the worst treatment along with ink!!! especially ink omg the poor guy has it the worst i think like wow do they mess him up :'(
always one dimensional in non shippy fics, or too plain or easily replaceable by other, more entertaining people in the significant other's life in most of his ships like man. i have read fics out there that made me genuinely FEEL and root for him and love his character so much it restored all hope for me!!! but i can only name one on top of my head and the others? it's been so long i don't even remember their names i just legit feel terrible cause i love him still and i can't find many headcanons that fit my interpretation of him yknow?
not to say people who write him very happy, mislead or sad are ruining him like that's silly- if i see something i don't like i just. move on bro i wouldn't force people to feel or think the same way i do about him cause anyone can have whatever headcanons they want!!! just talking about what i personally look for in him and why i can't exactly find it since most of the stuff out there just isn't my cup of tea :')
hopefully i didn't set anyone off with this rambling opinionated essay i just pulled hhh xD i know i know he's a popular character and i know a lot of people like dream so *sobs* please please recommend me artists and fics about him that you think is good it's been so looong since i've read or seen anything new that makes me attached to this little guy aughg<33333
#ask#rambling#delete later?#probably xD i just wanna love him SO much but sometimes he's just *sigh*...forgettable#i tried to explain myself but also it's like 4 am and i skimmed through the proofreading so don't take this too seriously HHH#like really even when i do read good fics about him he's not on the forefront of my mind and it's painful to me :'(#i used to see him as my third fav but now? ever since i've read and seen characters who get heavier more in depth plots?#i can't say it with as much confidence :') and dream lovers out there i am not bashing your choice or even your headcanons#to each their own but i really wanna hear someone be passionate about him in my feed or askbox like TELL me about him#i've seen ink rants out there that are FIRE like so true!!! but where's the dream defense team???#maybe it's just me tho :') btw i still like cream but not the same way as before if i'm being real#it feels the same...all of it and it makes me wanna bite something ARGHGG#i know i know i ship some stuff that's basic too hhh but dream and cross are always written the same and dream is too innocent#and nightmare is too weird in some of these fics like if MY brother ever tried to literally attack my hypothetical partner????#i wouldn't give him the :'((( sad face and weakly tell him to 'please stop...you're hurting him'' like NO girl they're TWINS#they're the same age i would tell him to BACK off and not insert himself in my love life after years of ignoring and fighting LIKE#especially since most of the time cross is actually good to dream and all- so he doesn't have a good reason to disrupt his bro's dates#UGH i just have so many opinions but basically i would love him a lot lot more than i do now if they also let him be more flexible#and shake things up like with shattered and stuff! gimme alternate versions of him even if it's too ooc like we do for all the other sanses#jaa i am SO sorry you had to read all that dude thank you so much for passing by :'D
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Happy Halloween !!👻👻 trick or treat with Bleach!!
HI I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! but happy belated halloween!!
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Has Disney (EXCLUDING PIXAR) actually ever made a Great sequel/prequel. Like comparable to the original and you would be willing to rewatch. Because. I cant think of any
(Does Cinderella 3 a twist in time count)
#also who am I kidding they don’t make sequels for the sake of the story they make them because they rake in THE BIG MONEY!!!!!#all of the recent ones have been sort of forgettable sorry#like I watched them once and went. that was alright#or Bad at worst#and then you just watch the originals Bc they’re way better#movie#txt#graagrh#that is to say sorry I don’t have high hopes for inside out 2 maybe I just have to rewatch the first one lol
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what if 2023 is the year i finally go all in on seventeen. what if this is the year where i finally learn all their faces.
#i've been listening to their music for years but 13 members is intimidating (i say as if i don't know all the nct members)#i know the cunty ones (sk hoshi joshua jun minghao) and the little guy (woozi) and the straight looking ones (dk s.coups mingyu)#and i know vernon. because he's vernon.#the rest of them though..... it's in god's hands#oh wait that's ten there's only three i don't know that's doable#oh i've googled them i think i know jeonghan too#wonwoo and dino i am sorry to say you are the forgettable svt members#googled them. sorry to say i've never seen those men before in my life.#seventeen
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MISS UUU hope things r going well its a day late to say but chag sameach :) wish u a good new year as well, at least in terms of the gregorian calendar
HI NAT I MISS YOU TOO! to you as well. love youuu
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shout out to bird lady for having hands
#undertale yellow#sorry i forgot her name not because shes forgettable but i am simply dumb and Not that smart
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Lilac steel and . How do you speell it . Harlequin <- im probably somewhat biased tho. I have no idea how insane i am at any given time
DFJKSKDKFJSHFKJ TYYY youre also a blessing to see on my dash :] and im sure you're less insane than me <- goes crazy over hiiai at least three times a month
#which is almost once every week!#ask game#verycoolsnails#YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD HAVE NOMINATED YOU AS 'WOULDNT THINK IS AN ENSTARRIE BUT ACTUALLY IS' ON THE ENST YRBOOK :O#well. u are in my heart <3#sorry i am the Chronic Forgetter :(#nova.mail
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