#that is to say sorry I don’t have high hopes for inside out 2 maybe I just have to rewatch the first one lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slimybeth69 · 22 days ago

Text

Touch

Summary: The Mandalorian is quite interested in what you've been doodling. What happens when he finds out?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings/tags- eventual angst, slow burn, graphic depictions of wounds and violence, eventual non-con, eventual therapy speak, Grogu, Mando takes off his helmet, so much shit happens in this story.

This was very much inspired by the legendary Rough Day. It's such an incredible story and so well written. Don't have as high hopes for this, it's mostly just me being horny for Din Djarin.

unbeta'd, probably not proof-read because of my ADHD.

SORRY EVERYBODY ELSE

Chapter 2 ->

“What are you doing?” He asked raspily through the voice modulator. You roll your eyes. It’s the second or third time he’s asked you that since you guys found a place to let the child run around and play. Eat a creature or two.

“Nothing.” You said it for the second or third time. He says nothing in response but you can feel him looking at you. Maybe. You’re never sure with the helmet. That stupid helmet that makes you look right back at your stupid face every time he says something stupid to you.

Okay. That’s a little harsh, per se, but he’s been harsh on you for everything lately. Little messy in the ship? On you about it. The child crying? On you. Something that you had absolutely no control whatsoever over happening inside, around or to the ship? He was fucking on you.

It was exhausting honestly. If it hadn’t been for the credits and honestly, the cute ass kid you might not have stuck around. But you were so desperate to get away. Apparently so desperate you asked him for a ride out of the Canto Casino. No, you begged.

And for whatever reason– it's clear to you now it’s because he needed someone to be mean to– he said yes. And then offered you seventy-five credits a week for as long as you stayed and watched after the kid and cleaned up after both of them. You drew the line at cooking anything because you experienced a burn first hand once, and will never do that again. Not even after he offered three extra credits a week. Not happening, Mando. No way.

Especially not for him . Being so mean all the time.

You could see Mando out of the corner of your eye shift and try to see what you were doing in your notebook but you dropped your shoulder over it and pulled it tightly into your chest.

“What’re you doing?” You turn your head to look at him.

“Trying to see what you’re doing.” He said simply. It was so frank, yeah, that’s what he’s doing. Obviously . “What are you doing?” The little inflection in his words made your heart race for a second. As if he might actually be interested and not just bored of watching the child run around in the grass after small creatures to devour.

The first time you saw the child eat something, it horrified you, but it grew to be just a little endearing the way he’d chase after it, jump and pounce on it a few times and then snatch it up for a lil’ snack. Just a quick one; the way he’d swallow it hole. You lost track of how long it’d been since then but it wasn’t a long time. Just long enough for you to forget to keep track anymore.

“Why are you so interested?” You ask him, keeping the notebook tightly to your chest. Mando sits back and looks forwards.

“I don’t know.” He garbles through the modulator.

“Then you don’t get to see.” You tease but you wonder if he even knows what that is. Teasing .

He’s never even once cracked one little joke with you in all this time. So probably not. Either that or he thinks you’re incredibly unfunny. Which is a possibility. You did try very very hard to impress him with whatever weird homemaker skills he expected you to have. You had literally none so he was very thoroughly unimpressed , to say the least.

The dirty clothes and dishes around the ship were one thing, but it was the child's incessant crying that really made him ‘ raise his tone’ with you. Not really but he did say in a few very colorful words that you needed to do better.

But really you just needed to bond with the little green sucker. Mando had thrown you into this ship with that thing? Baby? You really didn’t know or care, but he threw you in there and then shut the door and went on his merry way. For four days. Without even so much as an introduction.

The kid was scared shitless of you for the entire time Mando was gone. It took the child almost two weeks to warm up to you. You didn’t know where anything was, or what to do, and were left to fend for yourself. It took you exactly thirty minutes of crying to figure out that the child wanted to be outside and the kid didn’t have any kind of harness or tether. Which was terrifying because what if you lost it? You had been so scared the child was going to run away but the kid didn’t. Well... did at first and then you tired it out; chasing for what felt like two hours.

Then only once did the child have it's fill of an entire ecosystem of poor unfortunate creatures smaller than your foot, did he go back and lay himself down in that floating bassinet in the ship.

You had to lay down on the floor beside him after shutting the ship up, just to rest your eyes for a minute because that kinda cute little thing– asleep in that floating orb– had tired you out. And you didn’t wake up until that cute little thing had pried your eyelids open to show you the mess he had made. Pulled out everything that he could get his six little grubby fingers on

That had been day one . Things had gotten a little better since then. A little .

Every time you turned your back to clean up one mess, the little cutie would just run in the opposite direction and make a different mess somewhere else. This was the hardest job you’ve ever had. Easily. The child was a handful. There was something about the way he snuggled into when it was time for bed though, and it stole the heart right out of your chest. The way he’d bring you different colored rocks and bugs and show you them in wonder and amazement before he tried to eat them. When Mando was gone, it was just you two so you had plenty of time to bond, the Mandalorian was busy. Very busy indeed.

Busy informing you that you didn’t put things away correctly, didn’t wash things the way he liked and needed to figure it out. You had to explain to him that people normally get at least a couple hours of training. Maybe a tour around, to show them where things are and where things go . He didn’t seem to understand that the reason you weren't doing a great job straight away was partially his fault. Or he just didn’t care.

It’s . fine .

It’s almost like he’s a bounty hunter who has no patience for anything besides the child.

And he’s got barely any for the green baby, so, it’s been a very pleasant time so far.

Maker. Okay. You’d also have very little patience for anything if you had to wear that beskar all the time. He was always in that suit, always. You hadn’t even caught a glimps of a wrist or his neck. Nothing. Not even an ankle. You knew the Mandalorians couldn’t let anyone see their faces, like ever , so you understood but, sheesh. It was always on. You didn’t even know what he did at night because you were usually asleep with the child before him. And he was always up before you.

You told him once you’d blindfold yourself just so he could breathe if he wanted to. He’s never taken you up on the offer, surprisingly.

So now in the present, still sour with him for being mean and because he’d never answered your question about what color his hair is, you doodled what he might look like in your little notebook you always had on you. Mostly pictures of the child because he was slowly winning you over with those eyes. And because he’s all you seen for however long you’ve been out here. But Mando had been back for a couple days. Longer than normal. You’d been spending a lot of time together, the three of you.

So for the last couple days you had been compelled to doodle Mando. What he might look like under that helmet and in some of your more explicit doodles– maybe what he looked like under that suit too.

The beskar protected him well.

Too well.

Maker.

Okay, no. The beskar saved his life, protected him. Absolutely. But like, it left everything to the imagination. Which was frustrating. Because as much as you wanted to leave where you had been living, you had imagined seeing another person besides the child and Mando at least once. Maybe get a night off and talk to someone about something other than the kid, the ship and the bounty he’s currently after.

Alas no, you’ve been stuck on the ship and now the primal desires inside of you are starting to flicker like a little flame. Tiny. Unnoticed by you, even. The doodling really was mindless at first, but your mindlessness was what Mando’s lower stomach looked like.

The notebook was still pressed against your chest.

“So I can’t see?” He asked, looking at the child playing in the field.

“Nope. Sure can’t.” Even if he had told you why he wanted to look at your notebook, you wouldn’t have let him. He would have had to pry it from your cold dead hands, and then you’d have been fighting him from whatever afterlife there could be. Fighting for the last shred of dignity you have.

“I could take it from you.” He said like he had been inside your fucking head. Your heart is beating inside your throat and you unintentionally grip it tighter against you.

“I know.” You say. Your whole body frozen in fear. Like, was it a threat? An observation he had just made in his head? “ Why would you do that?”

It was a weird thing for him to say. You’re leering at him over your shoulder, watching to see if he makes any sudden movements towards you so you can toss your notebook in the small fire he’s made. You might do it anyway because what is he even talking about? Taking it from you?

“Because.” Emotionless rasp from the modulator. “I’d like to see.” No inflection. Nothing. Just staring at the kid who was jumping off the ground slightly trying to catch a small flying bug. He couldn’t get it.

But it had been said nicer than the other times. You couldn’t put your finger on it because it had sounded exactly the same, honestly, but there was just something behind the words he chose.

I’d like to see.

Like he was some little kid who just wanted to look at what you were looking at. So innocent. Like he wasn’t a bounty hunter who had killed so many people in just the short time you had known him. And he wanted to look in your notebook.

And now you had to tell him no again. Because what the shit? You can’t show him the very detailed drawing you’ve done of his pants pulled down to just the base of him and his curly patch of pubic hair that rents space there. You have no idea what the base of him looks like, it’s all made in your head.

But the doodles are there. Sure are. In the notebook. That’s not imagined. No. The notebook and doodles are there. The notebook happens to be opened up to a page that has the deep indentation of muscles on both sides, a v of just pure rock hard strength and power that lead down to where you’ve been thinking about touching him lately. The little trail of hair that leads from his belly button; where you would oh so love to place your tongue, all the way down to where that v meets right–

Okay stop it right now, this is too much, you’re getting distracted from the point. You very carefully flip back multiple pages of the notebook so that there’s no chance that he could see what you’ve been working on as of late. But now, you peek down and check to see– the drawings of the child, okay. Phew.

You hold up the notebook. You have to pull it back a couple inches when he tries to take it. He tilts his head down at you for just a moment when you do that and then looks back to the page you’re showing him. He studies it for so long that you wonder if he’s fallen asleep. Your arm is starting to ache. You've been holding it for so long.

“You’ve captured his greeness quite well, somehow, without color.” He says, still emotionless but… did he just try and exchange banter with you?

“We can hang it in the ship, right above his bassinet.” You tease. He’s so damn particular with his ship. Not wanting you to change anything . So there’s no way that he’d let you hang up a doodle of anything.

“That’d be fitting.”

Oh my Maker. Please give me strength to deal with this- this- whatever this is. Because what he happens to be, is impossible. Impossible to read. Impossible to predict. Nothing about him is like anyone you’ve ever met.

“What was on the other page?” His modulator voice scares you, laying there silently on your stomach with your eyes closed. If you had a free hand you would have pressed your fingers to the bridge of your nose in slight annoyance. But you didn’t. You were laying on the free one and still holding the notebook. But when he said that , you pulled it back into your chest.

“What other page?” You snap. You can feel the heat rushing to your face.

“The one you’re hiding from me.”

Okay , Maker. Real nice. Real real funny. Give him some emotion now .

This is the first time you ever wished Mando would stop talking. Except for when he was mad at you. But now, he’s chatting you up and you wish he’d shut up. Just leave you alone.

Very funny, Maker.

“I’m not hiding anything.” You say it so matter of factly like you’re willing it to be true.

“I saw you.”

“You didn’t see anything. I’m surprised you can see anything behind that helmet.” You flutter the notebook back at him in dismissal.

Mando is silent for a long time.

“It actually helps me see-”

“ Oh Maker . It was a joke . Do you know what a joke is?” You exclaim. “I know the helmet allows you to see better. I know that. I was making a joke.” You’re so frustrated now that you actually move your hand from under your chest and put your two fingers on the bridge of your nose and sigh.

“You’re-” He pauses for a long time. “-annoyed with me?”

You’re not expecting him to say that.

“I’m not exactly pleased , no. But I’m not annoyed. No.” You explain to him.

“So can I see the other page, then?”

You throw the notebook in your bag quickly and snap it shut.

“I think you should see if you can us food to eat, maybe? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” You think for a second, “I’ve never seen you eat, actually, so, maybe you're not. I don’t know.” You speak nervously, the words continue to come out even though you wish you’d just shut up. “I know the kid is probably full off whatever thriving colony of small things he’s decimated. So, I’ll put him to bed while you see if you can find dinner or something.” You get up, take your bag with you and go grab the child from whatever life threatening way he’s found to entertain himself and bring him into the ship with you.

You set everything down on the floor behind the cockpit– your makeshift bedroom– and give the child a quick wipe down with a damp cloth, making sure he doesn’t have any crud or muck in any of his little fold or behind his comically large ears. And then you rock him to sleep. It takes ages– so long– for him to finally settle down and relax. He closes his big eyes while you rock him for more ages until you’re sure that he won't wake up when you lay him down.

Which is annoying , because he can put himself down for a nap no problem, little thing tires itself out murdering small animals and just lays himself down when he’s tired, passes out within minutes. The minute the sun goes down? Nocturnal. The child has no idea what you mean when you say it’s time for bed.

You tried to let him put himself to sleep once and Mando told you that he’d cut your credits in half if the kid ever cried like that again. It was worse than crying. It was wailing and screaming unlike anything you’ve heard in your life. The child must be rocked to sleep at night. That was an every night routine. You deal with the child. When Mando was around, he’d get you food during that time.

Once you were back outside, a meal had been caught and cooked for you. You assume that in your absence he fed himself, comfortably knowing you’d be gone for the next several eternities putting the child to sleep.

“Thank you.” You’re hungry. Starving actually. You hadn’t realized how hungry you actually were. All your time and energy has been focused on keeping that little green baby alive that you have sometimes forgotten to take care of yourself. You keep yourself clean, yes. Easy to do when you have to clean the child every day. Eating and all the other stuff? Eh. Forgotten about now that the kid’s around chasing bugs and feeding himself.

It’s fine. You’re thankful regardless because traveling around the galaxy, seeing things you’ve only ever heard about in stories . Even if you haven’t spoken to a singular other person besides Mando and the child. You have seen such incredible things and for that, you are thankful for Mando.

Very thankful.

Okay! Okay. You’ve gotta be in heat or something. Something! Because why is the way he’s looking at you is making between your legs throb? Okay now you know something is really wrong with you because what the stars, he’s got a helmet on. He could be looking over your shoulder or just over the horizon behind you but he’s got his gaze turned right to you. It’s like you can feel his eyes on you. You wonder what color they could be. Blue? Brown? Green?

“Pretty good.” You say, holding up whatever he caught and killed for you. You stopped asking what it was because you didn’t always like the answer, but it was always… edible.

“So. That page?”

You roll your eyes at him. Why oh why is he bringing it up again, the sun has gone down now and it’s been so long since that conversation. It’s old. Dead. Buried.

“You’ve never taken an interest in anything I do, unless I’m doing it wrong, and then you scold me for it. Now, I’ve got one thing that’s mine and you’re trying to-” You’re huffing at him, actually annoyed now.

“A secret ?” He’s curious. An emotion.

“It’s not a secret, it's just not– it’s not something I want other people to see.” You say very truthfully. “I don’t think.” You add to soften the statement. He’s actually talking to you about something besides the usual things.

“Why?”

Maker, with the questions?

“Because.” It’s a simple response but it’s all you’ve got.

“It would make me upset?” You look over at him and he’s positioned in exactly the same way he was when you looked away from him. Staring at you. You think. At least now he’s talking to you.

But how do you answer that?

Because yes, it would make him upset. It would make him very upset. It’d make you very embarrassed, and you think that's what's most worrying. The possibility of having to sit in the ship with him after. Now he knows that you’ve been thinking about him? Like that ?

He can leave you here. It’s fine. You’ll figure it out.

“No.” You lie to him. Then you feel bad for lying to him because you’re unsure if he’s even capable of lying. You’re not sure. He does seem like an innocent soul, minus all the killing. “Okay. Maybe. I don’t really know what upsets you other than when I mess something up, so I don’t really have much to go on.”

“I’m sorry.” He says and it forces the air out of your lungs like someone just punched you in the back. “I’ve–I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

Maker, what is going on? Am I dead?

“I shouldn’t take it out on you. You do good with the child.”

You’re completely stunned. You cannot form a sentence. You cannot even think. Did he just compliment you? And apologize to you? Surely, you’re dead.

“Thanks.” Is all you can manage to say and now, he’s warming up to you and you’re throwing water on the fire.

“You could clean better, though.”

And then you laugh because yes, you’re still alive and he is actually the Mando you barely know. And he did just apologize for being mean. And took accountability. And insulted you.

It’s late now and the child will be awake in a couple hours. You’re asleep. Enjoying the thin mat that’s your bed and your warm blankets. You’re in a dream floating amongst the stars and skies, Mando’s floating with you, touching you so sweetly, and then, there is a hand on your arm. A strong one.

It’s almost alarming, but then you open your eyes and it’s pitch black. So dark. Darker than you’ve ever seen it in the ship and now it is entirely alarming. You go to scream but there is a warm hand over your mouth.

“Don’t.” The modulated voice says quietly in the dark. You immediately relax and the terror stops ripping through you long enough for you to get angry. Very angry. After you hastily wrap the blankets around yourself, you pull your mouth away from his hand.

“Why? Why would you turn off all the lights– every single one? Huh? And then shake me awake like that?” You’re whispering, shouting at him. Your heart is still pounding and his hand is still tightly wrapped around your upper arm.

It’s quiet for a long time

“I didn’t shake you.”

“Oh my Mak-” You whisper. “You know what I mean, you startled me awake in the darkness. Might as well be the same thing!” You’re exasperated. You had just fallen asleep and now this? Being throttled awake the way you just were? What was he gonna yell at you about now? What had he found that had made him grab you the way he had? Was still grabbing you.

“Sorry.”

The raspy modulator voice in the dark is terrifying. Even if it’s being nice to you.

“What do you want?” You grumble angrily. “I was sleeping so well– so well and you’re throwing me around in my sleep.” You go to turn over but he stops you, squeezing your upper arm tighter.

“I saw it.” It’s quiet, but there is some emotion behind the words. What emotion? You can’t be sure just yet. It’s something you’ve never heard from him before. It’s hard to tell in the void you’re in.

“Saw it? Saw what? How can you see anything here?” The sleep is still heavy in your brain and you’re also still terrified. Yes, less terrified knowing that it’s Mando gripping you like this in the dark and not an intruder, but why is he doing this? That is terrifying. Horrifying.

“The page.”

You gasp in even more pure, real horror and pull your arm from his grasp but he doesn’t allow it, he grips you tighter and in the dark you can hear him breathing under his mask. You thought you were scared before but not like this. Your heart is threatening to break free from the bone cage it’s safely hidden behind and you feel like you’re going to be sick. Your stomach is clenching and twisting inside of you. Sweat starts to bead your forehead and the back of your neck.

“ Okokokokokok I’m so sorry. Please don’t kill me please, Mando, plea– I’m really, really scared to die and I don’t wanna go like this . In the dark? No. No , ple– not in front of the child! Okay?” The silence around you now is deafening, you can’t even hear him breathing anymore and if it weren’t for the choking grip on your arm, you would think he had left. You’re begging for your life because this isn’t how you imagined dying. Not over doodles.

“I’m not mad.” He says quietly. Still raspy but soft.

“Y-you’re not?” You’re too stunned to say more. Ask why, see if he liked it, nothing else comes to mind. You’re glad he’s not going to leave you outside to fend for yourself tonight.

“Did you- did you think I was going to kill you?” Raspy modulated whispers come out of the darkness.

“Yes!” You whisper at him with a still beating like crazy heart in your chest. It’s about to burst out of you. “Why wou-” He cuts you off.

”They’re good.” He garbles quietly.

“What is!? What’s good?” The fog in your head hasn’t lifted at all, and you’re so confused. What the stars is he talking about.

“I looked at all of the pages.” He sighed out. It didn’t sound as gentle as it may have meant behind the voice modulator. Still garbled and distorted.

All the pages? All. Of. The. Pages. There were doodles of yourself in that notebook. Doodles of what you look like behind your clothes. The other pages in that notebook held secrets, real secrets and now you were even more mad at him. He could just invade your privacy? You got to have no secrets while his whole existence to you besides what he chooses to tell you? Unacceptable. The anger was bubbling under your skin now.

“You did what!?” It was still whispered as to not wake the child. “That was in my bag! You went through my stuff to get it? Are you sick?” He was holding on to you tighter and it was starting to actually hurt now. “Ow!” You snap at him and tug your arm away quickly and this time he lets you go.

“Sorry. I had to know.” Garbled attempt at an apology from the darkness. You realize then that he hadn’t had his gloves on. You had felt his skin on yours. Hot calloused skin against yours. Gripping you the way he had been. You’d have bruises in the morning. Of his very real fingers on your flesh.

“You’re sorry!? That’s it?.” You have to force yourself not to yell at him because if this wakes the child up and you don’t get to go back to sleep, you’re going to quit. Walk right out. “You still haven’t answered my question!” He hadn’t. What did he want from you? If it wasn’t to kill you for seeing the drawings, then what did he want?

Nothingness surrounds you. For so long, you’re staring into the emptiness waiting for something . Some kind of response and then you hear him clear his throat.

“I forgot what you asked me.” His garbled confession comes through in the dark.

“You forgot? I just asked you wha-”

“The way you draw... it’s incredible.” You can hear him rustling through pages in the dark. The fluttery, scratchy sounds of pages, like a notebook.

“A-are you-” You stumble over the words because you can’t actually believe this is happening. “D-do you s-still have it ?” You are fuming. “It’s so fucking dar-” and then you gasp loudly at the recollection that he has night vision in that fucking helmet of his!

The child cries out softly in his sleep and you hear him rolling over and you and presumably him, freeze for what feels like forever before you accept that the baby is still asleep. You don’t know because you don’t have night vision. Then you whip your head back in the direction he’s in. You think he’s in. You honestly have no idea. There is no light coming in from anywhere and your eyes haven’t adjusted at all in the dark.

You check your face to see if he’s blindfolded you. You pat your hands over your forehead and eyes when you’re completely sure that you’re just now blind for however long he wants you to be, you let your arms drop to your sides in frustration.

“You’re still looking at it!” You point into the darkness accusingly, remembering he is in fact still holding your notebook. “Are you still looking at it?” You move your finger in a semi circle when you can’t actually decide where he’s kneeling beside you. The darkness is so disorientating. You have no idea where anything actually is anymore.

“I can’t stop looking at it. I’m sorry.” He confesses from somewhere in the dark. “The bodies you drew are j-just so beautiful.”

“They’re doodles.” You’re sweating. What is he doing in the dark looking at your doodles? You reach out into the darkness and you hear him take a shuffled step backwards, towards the center of the room.

“What was your inspiration for them?” His raspy voice is different, like he’s not really here with you, it’s like he’s on that page with them.

“Just… my imagination ?” You lie in hopes he’s going to believe you.

Silence.

It’s anxiety inducing. He’s just somewhere in the darkness. With your notebook.

“The woman's body is my favorite. She’s so…” Garbled modulator trails off.

Maker. He has a favorite?

You’re now hyper aware of the fact that if he can see your notebook in his hand, he absolutely can see you too. Oh Maker.

Why was it suddenly so hot? When did it get so hot?

Your whole body is now prickled with sweat that he’s standing there in the dark. Assumed to be looking right at you and your artistic notebook.

There had been nothing sexual about your doodles at first. Really. They were just the only thing besides the child and the inside of the ship. And sometimes the fields he’d take you to, like the one you’re in now. So all of those things are in that notebook too. But he was looking at the couple pictures you decided to draw of yourself, because the human body is a work of art. Yours and Mandos just happened to be the only bodies around.

“Just my imagination.” You don’t even know what you’re saying. Just words you’ve strung together fall out of your mouth for no reason known to you.

Silence for so long, you’re sure he’s not there anymore.

“Y-you already said that.” Modulator speaks in the dark.

“I did? Are you sure?” You’re one hundred percent sure you didn’t.

“Yes.”

“What do you want? Why did you wake me up? Why are we just standing in the dark?” The questions are firing out of your mouth at the speed of a blaster pistol. “What? What do you want from me?”

Mando say’s nothing for a long time. You cross your arms over your chest uncomfortably in the quiet.

“Is this you? The woman?” He taps on the pages and you hear him do it in the dark. “Is this what you l-look like under your c-clothes?”

“Why are you talking like that? What are you-” You’ve never heard him speak the way he is tonight, no. He’s commanding in his tone and what he says. Mando doesn’t stumble over his words.

“Answer the question.” He interrupts you. “Please.” His tone is much more firm now. You’ve snapped him out of whatever trance he was in.

“Maybe.” It’s not even an admittance of guilt and you’re already blushing in embarrassment.

“It’s beautiful.” He’s breathless and somewhere in your notebook again. Presumably touching it with his ungloved fingers.

In between your legs twinges.

“Thank you.” You’re blushing so hard you think your cheeks are going to combust.

Then more quiet. For so long. It’s painful.

“Would you l-let me touch it?” He whispers through the modulator.

“Touch it?” You don’t get it. “You’re holding it, what do-” And then you shut up because you realize what he’s talking about. It comes to you mid sentence.

It’s quiet again now. So quiet. The dark you could deal with if there was just something making some kind of noise beside yourself breathing in the abyss. You’re waiting for a response but you get nothing. A sigh from your nose.

“You want to touch me ?” You don’t want to say it, but you’re desperate to hear anything in the void. You’re also so tired and sleep deprived because of the child, you might let him if he just got to the point so you could go back to bed. He’s been on your mind for the last week. The only reason you dream anymore, apparently.

“Yes.” Honest and innocent garbles from the modulator. You smirk. “And-” But he stops.

“And what?” You’re so curious what else could go along at his request. But he says nothing again. More blistering silence. It’s actually burning the inside of your ears.

“Watch.”

Maker, give this mandalorian the ability to say more than one word, please. I don’t know how much more patience I have left inside of me.

“Watch what? What do you want from me?” You haven’t said no. That’s something you start to notice as you wait for him to respond to you. Haven’t said yes but you also haven’t said no.

So, what could he want?

“Can I show you?” Your breath hitches in your throat because what the hell could that mean?

“Oh-okay?” So hesitant. So fucking nervous. Your heart was beating fast this whole exchange with him but now it was beating somewhere in the base of your throat. Hard.

“Lay down.” It’s said from much closer to you now, startlingly close. You hadn’t heard him get closer. How did he do that? But you obey his order and lay back down on your thin mat on the floor. You can feel him hovering over you. Then suddenly, the blankets are being torn off of you and you're exposed to the now suddenly freezing cold ship.

He’s exposed you. You wear nothing but a thin nightgown to bed every night. It’s the only thing that isn’t scratchy in your little bag of clothes and it does get surprisingly warm in the ship at night when everything’s closed up. It’s refreshing normally, but not now. Now you’re freezing and your nipples are giving you away in the darkness at how cold and excited you are for what might be about to happen.

You hear him respire sharply into the modulator and your nipples somehow get harder and that tingle in between your legs is back. You just made Mando gasp ? You’ve never once heard that sound come out of him. Okay, once when the child almost fell out his floating orb, but that was only once and it was different . There had been fear interlaced with that gasp but not this one.

He was admiring you in the dark through his night vision. A gasp of admiration?

Mando still hasn’t touched you at all besides the painful grasp on your arm earlier but that was it. He hadn’t ever touched you before that, ever. Now he had asked if he could and you were trembling already waiting to see what he had meant.

“Be like the pictures.” He cooed it out, the modulator garbling it all up but still. It was cooed, you heard it with your own ears. But you obeyed again, pulling the loose straps of your nightgown down your shoulders. It was easily wriggled off the rest of you and then, the nightgown was just a mess of fabric in front of your mat.

“ Oh Maker. ” He speaks so softly it doesn’t even sound like Mando. You start to wonder if it is really him and then he says, “More beautiful. Much more.” He sighs it out and it makes you melt into the mat you're laying on.

You want him to touch you so bad. So badly it is sending electricity through you, starting between your legs.

“Can you s-spread them?” He asked so cautiously that you were unsure that he even wanted but the sound he made when you bent your knees and let them fall open to your sides made you start to leak from the place he wanted to look at you so badly.

“Like this?” You knew that, yes, it’s exactly what he meant but you were now so obsessed with listening to his voice that you’d ask him anything to hear him speak.

“Yes. Yes.” It’s said hastily into the voice modulator, like if he doesn’t answer you’ll close your legs on him. “Just like that.”

You almost jump back at the feeling of the tips of his fingers on you. Pressing so gently into the soft skin on your thighs but you remember why you’re down here on the mat, naked below Mando. That’s all he does, just traces the pads of all five of his fingers up and down your thigh, stroking you with a feather touch. It almost felt like he might not be touching you at all, like you’re imagining it.

He exhales deeply and it registers from under the helmet.

“Were you- were you just holding your breath?” You ask.

Quiet, his hand still stroking your thigh so gently.

“Maybe.”

You smirk in the dark and rest your head back on your pillow and let him do whatever he wants. Then an ungloved hand reaches and touches you the same way across your stomach. So lightly it almost tickles but you don’t want him to stop so you don’t move. You let everything be still underneath his hands. They move leisurely across your body, never stopping in one place, like he’s scanning the pages of a book and using his hands to follow along.

You’re covered in goosebumps and almost quivering under him but it feels so fucking good that it doesn’t matter anymore. You reach out and try to put his hand where you’d like it but before you can touch him he removes his hands and you’re left alone in the dark again.

He’s gone. You’re sure of it and you’re on the verge of tears when he says from the dark.

“Will you touch yourself?” This wasn’t a demand or an order, this was a sweet question asked by that innocent man who wanted to look at your notebook earlier.

“You want me to do what?” Deadpan response to what’s asking of you. Because what in the stars is going on? Please help me understand, Maker. “You wanted to do it a minute ago?” Confusion.

It’s not like you're confused about what he wants you to do, you have been with a man before but not like this and he definitely did not ask you to do that . No one else has even seen you do that before so why does he want you to do it all of a sudden? Like he’s at the theater and you’re the midnight showing. He stays silent for so long that you’re sure he left.

“I w-want to w-watch,” Garbled muttering. “-you touch.” Now, you’re sweating again because the idea that maybe he wanted to touch you had you shivering on the floor in front of him, but now, the idea that he wants to watch you do one of the most private things you’ve ever done right in front of him? On the floor? And worse, you can’t even see where the fuck he is now that he’s pulled his feather touch away from you.

Sweating. It’s beaded across your forehead because what? You’re still thinking about what he’s just said when a strong, hot calloused hand cups your dripping sex with much more force than before. He’s pressed the flat of his four fingers and his palm against you. It draws a gasp from you in the dark and you bring your hands up to your mouth to cover them because if the kid woke up now you’d throw yourself off a cliff.

The child thankfully, doesn’t wake up. Just cooing quietly in his floating orb.

“I-,” He starts again in the dark, to talk to you again but he’s so hesitant to say it, you can hear him from inside the helmet stumbling again over his words. “I just want to w-watch. Here”

You exhale so loudly and so hard because again, why? What does he get out of it?

“Were you just holding your breath?” He asks in the darkness.

Yes. You had been. Maker.

“Maybe.” You retort quickly, the heat in your cheeks is back and now you’re embarrassed again.

“What if I ask nicely ?” The garbles do nothing to hide the tone behind his voice. He’s aroused. Deeply aroused and Mando wants to watch you masturbate.

An instinctual buck upwards of your hips slips his middle finger between your folds and instead of pushing away, he pushes back against you and you feel the rough skin of his hands against you and starts to slowly drag his hand up your middle.

Oh, Maker, you feel him. This is not a feather touch. No, it's so much more. It’s like all of your senses have been heightened in the dark. You can feel everything. Every ridge and callous and the heat, oh Maker he’s so warm. Like he’s been held to flames until the exact moment he reached out to touch you. You feel like hes branding you with his finger it’s so fucking hot.

“S-so wet.” He sounds like he's in awe of what you’ve been hiding from him between your legs.

As the tip of his finger leaves you, your hand brushes his and his whole body is hot like his fingers had been, you feel as though you’ve been branded again but now, your head is spinning and he probably could have really branded you and you wouldn’t have cared.

It’s too much, he’s been talking for too long and you know what he wants now, you don’t care why. You’re too tired, you’re too excited. You secretly have been wanting just this, well not this exactly but whatever this is leading to, you want him to give you that, so you do what he’s asking in hopes that he will satisfy you, do something other than just watch.

Mando rests one hand on your knee that’s closest to him and grips it so gently it's almost like it’s not even there at all. But regardless, your hands have found what he wants you to touch.

“Yes.” He sighs softly. “Like that.” There is a sound of relief to his voice like he’s been anticipating this for so long and now it’s finally happening. Your two fingers start moving in slow, lazy circles. You dip your fingers down to your entrance and coat them in your slickness, moving them back up to your aching clit and tightening the motion, speeding up slightly.

Mando’s fingers dig into you. Not hard but enough to know that he’s still there, he’s still watching. You wonder if he’s naked now, or if he still has his suit on? He definitely doesn’t have his gloves on anymore but you wonder what else he could be doing in the dark. He’s just watching you touch yourself? Watching as your fingers start to move with meaning. It’s starting to feel good… so good. It’s good enough to make you close your eyes, little pants leaving your nose as the stimulation courses through you.

The hand on your knee is gone and you’re shuddering with the idea that he’s had his fun and now he’s most surely left you to have to finish what he started in the dark but no, his hand’s cupping your breast now. Squeezing it gently in his hand. Like it’s the most fragile and precious thing he’s ever seen. One finger moves across the curve of your flesh and drags so gently across your hardened peak.

“Oh Maker .” You pant, because you’re holding your breath again. It was such a small, gentle touch you’re barely sure it was there but then he grips you, is feeling how soft and fleshy your mound is and your fingers move faster because this is the most erotic thing you’ve ever done and it feels so good to have the burning hot heat of his hand on you and you’d wish he’d touch you more and then he does. It draws another gasp from your chest when he take your nipple between his fingers and gently starts to twist and pull and roll it between them.

“Don’t stop.” He says as your fingers start to slow at the new sensation he’s giving you. “Please.” He’s being so polite, and his voice sounds so breathless. It’s making you wetter than you’ve ever been, its practically gushing out of you. You can feel it dripping.

Mando just holds you, his fingers still pulling and twisting your nub between his fingers. You slide two fingers into yourself now, and curl them upwards against your g-spot. You hold your breath again so as not to moan or groan or make any noise at all because it’s so quiet in the ship you’re sure it’ll wake up the child. It’s futile, you gasp softly and arch your back into his hand. It’s so good. You haven’t made yourself feel this way in so long and you can’t stop now. It’s so good, the little growing ball of warmth and pressure building slowly inside you.

“Oh M-maker.” You hear Mando whisper softly into the darkness. And then he’s still. Watching you plunge the two fingers back inside of you. “So b-beautiful.” He says it so exasperated.

The sounds of your excitement are audible within the ship's walls. Like it’s echoing. Your fingers are plunging in and out of you now, your eyes are closed and your heads thrown back as you're getting yourself so close. Close so that he can watch you come.

“May I?”

You’re so confused because he’s just asked you to do it yourself and now he wants to? Reluctantly, with a small whine of protest, you move your hand and his other hand replaces yours. Two fingers push into you deeply. Gently. He holds them there for what feels like an hour. Not moving, just holding them inside you.

“S-so, so wet.” He’s breathless behind his helmet.

You’re sure the sun is going to rise before you see bliss, and then it’ll be too late because the kid will have woken up.

Then he withdrawals them.

“Go ahead.” He says.

“That’s it?” You’re disappointed. It’s evident in your voice.

“Keep going.”

So you do. You replace your fingers and his hand starts to grope you again. Moving now between your two supple mounds. And then you hear him.

Over the wetness between your legs and your own ragged breathing, you hear the soft sound of skin slapping skin. He’s touching himself, he used your juices as lubricant to touch himself. To rub all over himself. Now the thought that Mando is kneeling on the ground over you in the dark, watching you about to bring yourself to orgasm, touching himself with your wetness just about does it.

Your fingers speed and curl against your spot and you let your head fall back. You try so hard to keep your breathing steady, anything to keep yourself from crying out. Biting your bottom lip to try and stifle it, your fingers work faster. You can feel Mando’s body shaking and jolting with each thrust of his fist on himself in the hand he’s using to squeeze your breast. You pull your knees into your body, keeping them spread so he can watch, your head leans forward as you bring yourself closer. The pads of your fingers curling and uncurling against that place deep inside of you over and over again, the feeling of your palm pressed against your clit is too much. The sounds of his soft moaning send you over the edge though, his hand gripping your chest the way he is, like his life depended on it. Squeezing you with his strong, hot hand. You can hear the way he’s making himself feel good over you.

“I’m gon-” But the words are stolen from you as he pinches your nipple, the rest of his hand still groping you. He’s panting for lost breath in his search for pleasure.

“P-please. D-do it, m-make it wetter.” He stutters and his breath is also ragged now, the sound of skin on skin is more frantic now and his groping at you is sloppy, like he’s can’t control his hands anymore.

It happens, the bliss and the lights behind your eyes. The warmth and pressure in your lower stomach explode and you need to use your free hand to cover your mouth again. Your hips buck up against your own hand as you coax the orgasm out of yourself. Maker, it’s so good. You haven’t had a release like this since before you got onto Mando’s ship.

Now you hear him groan softly, he grips you tightly, like he had gripped your arm earlier. Your own heart is still racing, and you can barely catch your breath but you feel the warmth on your belly.

Did… did Mando just– Did he?

He’s still hovering over you. The ship is quiet now. Just the sounds of yours and his labored breathing. He’s still groping you, holding on like he’s going to float away into the void if he lets go.

He definitely did. And he still is. He’s still letting go on your stomach, you can feel every time he empties a new rope onto your belly.

You lay there, hands at your sides, panting.

It’s tempting, to reach your hand up and swirl a finger to what he’s delivered to you and then taste him. You’ve never done that but something inside of you is screaming to do it. So, you take one of the two fingers that was just bringing you so much joy and you slide it through the puddle on your belly and bring it to your lips.

Mando gasps softly and grips you tighter. He’s still watching.

He’s salty and musky and it’s different, but it’s good. It’s something you’d let him give you more of if he wanted. You’re still sucking him off your fingers when he pulls away.

Maker. Please, you don’t want him to leave-

Mando’s fingers are at your entrance and he’s running the first digit of two between your folds, he’s not even really inside you. Just tracing your opening. Teasing you. Then his fingers are gone.

It’s so quiet again. He left you in the dark with his good time spent still all over your belly. Running both hands over your face, dragging them down your cheeks in exasperation.

All these new thoughts are going through your head at warp speed and then you hear from so close to you, his modulated breathing.

“Are you still here?!” Whispered exasperation.

It's been so quiet again for so long.

“It’s my ship. Where would I go?”

“Oh my Mak-” You’re almost in tears because he’s right. Where would he go? His bed is just across the room. “What are you doing?”

“Tasting you.”

You’re now a puddle in front of him. His fingers are back at your entrance again, still, just tracing and coating themselves in your wetness. Then they’re gone again.

“You’re delicious.”

Mando was still tasting you. Currently. Doing it as he spoke to you. You hear him let out the softest sigh of satisfaction as your flavor touches his tongue.

“I like it.” It’s said like you should know it. Like you’ve accused him of taking too much from between your legs.

“Okay.” Is all you can manage to say because you’re hoping he does it again, you keep your knees open in anticipation but he doesn’t. You don’t hear him breathing anymore either.

You lay there and slowly close your knees. Brush the hair that’s gotten in your face away and sigh. Wonder where the fuck Mando is in this Maker forsaken dark room. You hear him now, shuffling across the room and he’s getting closer to you. When had he left?

Mando kneels down beside you again. Maybe this is round two? So you slowly open your legs for him but he stops you with his hand and then you feel the coolness and dampness of fabric on your belly. The Mandolorian is cleaning you off, wiping you tenderly, not missing anything. He reaches down and wipes between your legs. Very thoroughly. You wish he’d move the cloth and touch you again but his touch is gone again.

You almost groan in disappointment but you stop yourself. You didn’t hear him leave.

“You really are so beautiful. Just like the pictures.” He garbles quietly.

“They’re doodles.” You explain into the void.

“Who was the man?”

You stay silent.

“It’s from my imagination.” You say quietly, your cheeks flushing in embarrassment again.

“So a made up man in my beskar?”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Maker what do I say?

“Okay.” You retort. He doesn’t say anything for a long time and you wonder if he’s still there in the darkness next to you. You don’t dare reach out for him in fear of being rejected again. He didn’t let you touch him earlier even though he got free reign.

“I don’t look like that.”

“Okay?” You whisper again, exasperatedly.

“I’ll pose for you next time you want to doodle. ” And you hear it, the sarcasm in his voice. You honestly didn’t even know it was possible for him to do that or if he knew what it was.

Then you hear him walking away. He’s gone, back to be a part of the void and watch you in the darkness behind his helmet. You put your nightgown back on and lay there on your thin mat on the floor behind the cockpit. Mando gets into bed, you hear him moving in the sheets.

It’s still so dark and you wonder how much sleep you’ll be able to get before the child awakes and returns to his normal state of chaotic green cuteness.

If Mando ever asked you to do it again, you would. Not in so many words next time, but yes. You would.

Your notebook. You wonder if he put it back in your bag but it’s too dark and quiet to check now.

Hey, let's chat real quick.

So, this was the first Pedro character fic I ever wrote, and it was so heavily inspired by the legendary Rough Day (I'm saying it twice so no one can said I never said it)

It was supposed to be just a quick, hot, sexy little one-shot between you and The Mandalorian, but I ended up spiraling out of control and wrote over twenty chapters.

I have one chapter left until it's completely over and I thought I'd start posting it here so that once the final chapter is done-- I can post it to AO3 and Tumblr at the same time.

I'm pretty critical of my own stuff-- but this one particularly.

My disclaimers are- there will be spoilers to everything- season 1-3, the book of Boba Fett, and maybe even other things- I don't know because I didn't watch any of it.

All the crazy Mandalorian facts that come up in later chapters are just researched online. I misuse Mando'a and Manda'lor constantly so... punch me right in the face if you want... or yell at me in my asks.

Let me know if you like it with comments and reblogs and like and all that good shit. I love them.

#din x reader #din djarin #mando #mando x reader #grogu #smut #fanfic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #spoliers #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #inspired by rough day #obviously #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader

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estrellami-1 · 1 year ago

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If I Should Stay

Y’all are the best. Seriously. I love y’all. One quick note: if y’all reblog, please include the tag “#if I should stay” (mind the capital i) so people can find the rest of the parts! Thanks so much!!! ❤️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Eddie does end up following Robin because he does not, in fact, have a death wish.

Even if, apparently, he dies in the future. Go figure.

She instructs him to grab his guitar. “Why in the fuck,” he starts, then reconsiders when Robin whips around to stare at him. “Anyone ever tell you you’re terrifying?”

Robin shrugs a shoulder. “Not as much as they should.”

She stashes her bike in the back of his van and directs him to the Harrington residence, where Steve’s waiting, arms crossed, wondering smile on his face. “Miracle worker,” he calls, and Robin laughs as she grabs her bike from the back.

“Hate to break it to ya, Dingus, but you’re just not scary.”

“I’m plenty scary. I’ve got a nail bat.”

“Right, because that would beat Nance’s sawed-off in a fight.”

“Hey, it could! You never know! They’ve got different ranges!”

Robin rolls her eyes at Eddie, like she’s asking if he can believe it, which. No. No he can’t.

“Sorry,” he says, regretting everything when they both look at him. “What the actual fuck is happening?”

“Come inside,” Steve says, suddenly all business. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.” His eyes find Robin’s. “One of ‘em took Barb last night.”

“Fuck,” Robin whispers.

“Yup. Will’s been missing for two days. Maybe, if we get down there soon enough…”

“Let’s hope so. Which one of the rugrats found El?”

“I think they all did? But Mike’s the one who took her in.” He shakes his head, mouth a grim line. “I saw Dustin today. They’re kids, Robs.”

“So are we,” she reminds him, heaving a tired-sounding sigh. “A buncha kids fighting real-life monsters.”

“Monsters?” Eddie parrots.

Somehow they end up inside while Steve goes to pick up the Party. Who the party is, Eddie doesn’t know. Just like he doesn’t know why he’s in Steve’s Harrington’s house with someone who isn’t Steve Harrington.

“Who’s the Party?” He asks Robin. “And why am I here again? If I die, doesn’t that mean I shouldn’t be here? Should be somewhere far, far away instead?”

“The Party’s a group of kids Steve babysits. They’re the first ones to go through this whole mess. And admittedly, you’re here partially because you can help, and partially for selfish reasons.” She offers him a lopsided grin. “Believe it or not, watching you die was kinda traumatic.”

“Right,” he says slowly. “And you and Steve? How do you know each other? He and Nancy Wheeler are the talk of the town, and if he’s stepping out-”

“He wouldn’t,” she says harshly. “Ever.” She takes a breath. “Two years from now, or a year ago, he and I work together in a mall. Long story short, we get captured and tortured by Russians. High on truth serum, I tell him I’m a lesbian in the bathroom, we help take down the big bad, and boom. Instant platonic soulmates.”

Eddie gapes at her. “What the fuck.”

“Just about,” she nods. “Oh, and the kids love D&D, so you’ll have plenty to talk about. They’re little shits but they’re also kinda great once you get to know them.”

Eddie stares at her. The front door opens, and Steve walks in, followed by a gaggle of preteens and Nancy Wheeler.

“Robs,” Steve says, not slowing his stride as he begins taking the stairs two at a time. “Bathroom. Now.”

Robin grimaces. “Breakdown time,” she murmurs to Eddie, then follows Steve, leaving everyone else staring at each other.

“So,” Eddie says. “I heard you like D&D?”

A dark-haired kid who looks suspiciously like Nancy narrows his eyes. “You play?”

“Play!” Eddie repeats. “I don’t just play, my young friend, I am the greatest Dungeon Master this side of the Mississippi.”

A curly-haired kid begins to grin. “I think we should put that to the test.”

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @local-writers-corner @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

@paperbackribs @ninjapirateunicorns @bisexualdisastersworld @hiscrimsonangel @lolawonsstuff @xo-r4e @thedragonsaunt @l0st-strawberry

Fic Taglist: @blondlanfear @do-you-want-something-more @little-gae-shit

#if I should stay #eventual steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #he’s the curly-haired boy at the end #in case it wasn’t obvious lmao #time travel au #fix it fic #starambles

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xkaidaxxxx · 7 months ago

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Aizawa's New Girl

mentions: Unhappy marriage, Wifie material, tease, Fluff.

reblogs are appreciated <3

I am taking requests

Aizawa has been best friends with you since you both were in high school.You've loved him for such a long time but he’s been married for 5 years now. Recently, that means 2 years ago he hated his marriage. His wife started bitching for kids. His words not yours. He was not ready for that. From there she started making life impossible for him as well. Here he is now at your home.

“ I think I should divorce her.” he said to you. You are all for it. “You should divorce her Shōta. She’s been treating you like crap. How do you even deal with that?” you asked and served him dinner.You’re basically his wife at this point. You have been cooking his meals. He passes by for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every week he comes to wash his clothes since he doesn’t even want to see her face. After a while he’d leave his clothes in your guest room. Sometimes he crashes the night. “ I’m tired of her. I nap during school hours, to me that says a lot. My favorite meal. You’re the best y/n.” he said. You felt bad for him. He’s your best friend. “I’m here to support you. Always.” you said.

2 weeks later he got a great lawyer and he kicked his wife out of HIS house. He’s healing and you’re there to support him. “Thanks for helping me with this. You’re always by my side. I appreciate everything you do for me.” he said. “ Better together, remember.” you replied. You then heard banging from the door. He checked the cameras and you got your quirk ready. “It’s her. Don’t worry. I’ve got this.” he said pressing a button. You heard the sprinklers go off and you started laughing. He laughed along with you. Her screams made it even funnier.

Time passed and he is happily divorced. He ended up moving in with you and left his old home as a vacation home. You bring him lunch every day to work. As you walked inside the students whispered. Some of the male students were drooling. You were wearing simple clothing. Although your top did show cleavage and your skirt was very teaseful. You walked up to the boys. “Hey, your Aizawa’s students. Can you tell me where I can find him if he’s not in this office?” You asked with a smile. The girls immediately knew you loved him. “ you’re so pretty.” Denki said. “Thank you sweetie” you replied “If he’s not in this office, he’s in class or resting outside,” Bakugou said. You booped his nose. The rest tried holding back their laughs. “DO YOU WANT TO DIE !!??” He yelled. “WHY YOU DISRESPECTFUL SON OF A BI-“ you yelled and got interrupted by the love of your life. “Hey” he greeted. “you’re in love with him, right? Omg?” Mina was losing her mind. “Uh, he’s my bestie girly pop.” You replied. “Yeah, which is why you show up every day with lunch for him.” She giggled. The girls giggled and whispered. “Umm, I made your favorite today. I hope you enjoy it.” You said handing him a large bento box. He looked at you up and down, loving how sexy you look. He gulped as he took the bento box from you.“I always enjoy your meals. I appreciate you coming to drop off lunch.” He replied and soon you had to head home. “Mr.Aizawa you were totally checking her out. She is a goddess you better make a move before somebody else does.” Mina said and the rest of the girls agreed. She was right and deep down he knew that so once school ended he went to buy you a pretty diamond jewelry set, a special specific ring, and a bouquet of 100 red roses. He was taking forever. “It’s already 9pm,” you said aloud. “Mhm, maybe something came up with hero work.” You yawned. Minutes later he showed up. “Y/n! Hey! Sorry, I’m late, come downstairs! I have something for you!” He called out. “I’m in the kitchen!” You replied cleaning the counter. “Close your eyes.” He ordered and you did just that. He stood in front of you. “Open.” He said. You opened your eyes and saw the beautiful sight. “ I know…I suck at gifts but umm…I hope this shows how much I love and appreciate everything you do for me. I’m trying to ask if you want to be my girlfriend? Partner? Wife? Girlfriend?” He asked, choosing many titles because he had no idea what he was doing. “ Girlfriend and then hopefully wife.” You replied. You shared a soft and loving kiss with him. Aizawa has no idea how much his life is going to change now that he’s with the woman he’s always loved and will forever.

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mistiell · 2 years ago

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Let me Wrap my Teeth Around the World

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary: Saturday finally rolls around and Spencer takes you out to dinner. When he drops your off at your apartment, you ask him to stay

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Fluff, spencer being love drunk and adorable af, protected piv (18+)

A/N: PART 3!!! This is the last part for this mini series. Fair warning, this has not been proofread so I’ll probably come back to correct some things. Hope you guys like it!

Part 2

After four whole days, Saturday finally rolls around, and to say Spencer is nervous would be an understatement. He spent approximately sixty-seven hours, forty-two minutes, and twenty seconds attempting to come up with somewhere to take you, and he thinks he finally has a rather sound proof plan.

As he stands outside of your apartment, he goes over his plan once more in his head just as you open the door.

“Spence! Hey!” You greet him with a contagious smile before taking his hand to lead him inside. You look him up and down once before grinning puckishly at him, “Someone looks handsome.”

His face flushes red as he stutters out, “Th-Thanks.”

“I just have to grab my purse.” You smile kindly before skipping off towards your bedroom.

“Okay.” He nods, taking a moment to admire your decor. The first thing he notices is the scent of pumpkin spice hanging in the air, presumably from the recently extinguished candle sitting on your coffee table. The space is cluttered in a cosy, lived-in sort of way, with a fair amount of pillows settled on the couch and at least three different throw blankets stacked hanging over the back of an armchair. It’s very you, he thinks.

“Sorry for taking so long. Took me a second to find it.” You titter, and it’s now that he notices your outfit. You’re wearing a little black dress – something between formal and casual – that hugs your waist before tapering out at your hips to flow and fall to mid thigh. The sleeves are long and flowy, and the neckline shows off a fair bit of your chest — a detail he lingers on a little too long before hastily forcing his attention elsewhere.

When you look down at the ground and start fidgeting, he realises he hasn’t said anything, “You– you look gorgeous.”

“Thank you.” You smile shyly before taking his hand and tugging him out the door, “Now, c’mon! I want to know what you’ve got planned for us this evening.”

He follows you into the elevator down to the underground before taking the lead, opening the passenger side door to his car for you before climbing in on the other side.

“So,” You start as he shifts the car into gear and pulls out of his parking spot, “Where are we headed?”

“I thought we could go to that Italian place you liked the last time we went out with the team?” He suggests as he pulls out onto the street.

“Sounds good to me.” You reply, pulling at your dress as it rides up a little too high for your liking.

Spencer certainly isn’t complaining though. He’s got a great view of your thighs from here. When he dares to take his eyes off the road to glance at you out of the corner of his eye, of course.

The drive to the restaurant isn’t a long one and there’s an easy flow of idle chatter as he finds a parking spot before leading you inside.

The place is on the smaller side, a family owned business that’s been there since before either of you were born. The owner recognizes the two of you and smiles kindly as she shows you to a table.

As you skim the menu, you’re rambling about a TV show you’re currently obsessing over but, as hard as he tries, only half of him is listening. The other half is fantasising about ripping that dress off your body and ravishing you the way you deserve.

He shakes his head. Jesus, where’d that come from? He’s got to get a hold of himself.

“I don’t know if you’d really be interested in it, but maybe—,” You stop talking and when he realises he’s been staring at your chest, he knows he’s been caught. He goes bright red when you smirk, “See something you like, pretty boy?”

Fucking hell, you’re going to be the death of him. He swallows hard and smiles nervously, “Yeah, I do.”

Your gaze slides down his neck and seems to land on the sliver of his collar bone that’s visible beneath the sweater vest he’s wearing, and you look like you’re just about ready to pounce on him. Under the table, you use your foot to nudge at his ankle before reaching for his hand and raising it to kiss his knuckles, maintaining eye contact as you do. For such a sweet gesture, it feels intimate with the way you’re gazing at him through your lashes, your lips warm against his skin in a way that makes him shift a little in his seat. When you pull away, you don’t let go of his hand, instead letting them settle between you as you scrunch your nose playfully and stage whisper, “Me too.”

He fucking giggles.

It’s that flustered, I-cannot-believe-this-person-thinks-I’m-attractive kind of giggle. When someone’s just hit on you and you just can’t help but laugh a little to calm your racing heart.

You grin at the sound and he clears his throat, cheeks a bright crimson, “Th–Thanks y– Thank you.”

He sighs with a simper, a little more than embarrassed as he hides his face in his free hand. You laugh and gently take his wrist to pull his hand away. When he dares to look back up at you, your eyes are filled with such fondness that it makes him want to scream.

“Don’t hide from me.” You coo, brushing your thumb over his wrist, “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

He doesn’t know what to say, so he thanks you again.

“‘Course.” You smile just as the waiter returns with your drinks.

You both order and chat while you wait. He starts rambling on about a classic film he went to see once, one that was in russian and was nearly four hours long. He gets halfway through explaining the plot when he realises this is usually where someone else would cut him off, so instead, he does it himself. You notice the abrupt silence and swallow a bite of your food before cocking your head to the side, “Why’d you stop?”

“Oh, well,” No one’s ever asked him that before. They normally ask him to stop. Not why he stopped, “I didn’t want to bore you.”

“You weren’t. I enjoy listening to you.” You say casually, waiting for him to continue.

It takes him a moment to register that you’re being genuine, but once he does, he beams as he continues his explanation. You listen with rapt attention. You even ask him questions! He finds himself smiling so much his cheeks start to hurt.

When he’s finished, he asks you about the show you’d been talking about earlier and you grin, speaking excitedly and animatedly about the plot and characters. You’re careful not to spoil anything, just in case he decides to watch it — which he decided he would the moment he saw how you lit up when he mentioned it.

By the time the two of you are finished with dinner, the sun has set and the time is nearing seven thirty. Nearly an hour and a half has passed and he hadn’t even noticed. He’s quick to offer to pay the bill when it comes, which starts a very small back and forth between the two of you when you also insist on paying. Eventually, you compromise and decide to split it.

He opens the door for you before walking out behind you. The air has chilled, and when a breeze blows by, you shiver.

He quickly shrugs off his coat and holds it out to you, “Here.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.” He shakes his head and smiles kindly at you.

“I want to.”

You smile back and utter a soft, “Thank you.

He holds it open and lets you slip your arms into it, watching the way you wrap it securely around yourself and practically burrow into it fondly. Before you start walking, he offers his arm to you, “Shall we?”

Giggling, you slip your arm through his, “We shall.”

You squeeze at his bicep affectionately as you walk and he places his free hand on the back of yours.

When you get to his car, he opens the door for you again before climbing in himself. On the drive to your apartment, he can’t help but glance at you out of the corner of his eye again.

“Just can’t stop staring, huh?” You smirk and he immediately brings his eyes back to the road.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He smiles and you laugh.

“Uh-huh. Sure you don’t.” Carefully, you take one of his hands off the wheel and hold it in your lap, playing with his fingers. He knows the distraction is dangerous, but he really doesn’t care at this point. You’ve got his hand in your lap, so close to your thighs that he can feel the heat radiating off of your skin, “I like when you stare, you know.” “Yeah?” Is all he can manage in response as you spread his fingers and place his open palm over your inner thigh.

“Yeah.” You whisper, and when he glances at you again, you’ve got a hunger in your eyes that makes him let out a shaky breath. He takes a chance, sliding his hand up the bottom of your dress to squeeze at the soft flesh that resides further up your thigh. You sigh, leaning your head back against the headrest as you idly drag your fingertips up and down the length of his forearm. He thinks he might pass out.

As he reaches your apartment building, he squeezes you before placing his hand back on the wheel to turn into the underground. He finds your visitor spot and parks the car, getting out to open the door for you. When you get to the elevator and finally reach the door to your apartment, you turn and tentatively take his hand.

“Would you, um,” You glance down at your shoes shyly, “Would you like to,” His heart races when you look up at him through your lashes, “come inside?”

His breath stutters in his chest and it takes him a moment to come back down to earth. Unfortunately, you take this as a rejection, pulling your hand away and smiling at him apologetically, “Sorry, you don’t have to, obviously. I just thought…Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I’ll–.”

He doesn’t let you go any further, stepping into your space and pressing his lips to yours. He’s not about to let another misunderstanding pull you away from him. When he pulls back, he cups your cheek and strokes a line with his thumb from the corner of your eye, to your temple, and back, “I’d love to.”

You smile, quickly opening the door to your apartment and pulling him through. Shrugging off his jacket, you hang it up on your coat rack as he slips off his shoes. You struggle to get your heels off, so he kneels to undo to clasp and slip them off for you.

“Such a gentleman.” You hum as he stands back up after placing your shoes under your coats, threading your fingers in the hairs closest to his ears. His hands gravitate to your waist as you press yourself against him, leaning up to peck his lips, his jaw, before opening your mouth to roll your tongue against the sensitive skin of his pulse point, drawing a deep, shuddering sigh from his lungs. Your teeth scrape against his jaw and he can hear your breath fanning hot against his neck. He swears under his breath and you chuckle, pulling away only to take his wrists and guide him down the hall towards your bedroom.

Before you have a chance to sit, he hooks his arm around you and pulls you back to him. He captures your lips again and slides his hand up your thighs and your dress to grasp at your waist, relishing in the way your skin feels under his hands. He only breaks the kiss to ask, “Can I take this off?”

“You can take off as much as you want, handsome.” You pant and he grins, slipping your dress off before taking a moment to unabashedly ogle you.

“You are…” There are so many things he could say. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Ethereal. None of them would do you justice, “Wow.”

You giggle, and he finds himself mesmerised by the way your shoulders shake and your stomach contracts with the motion, “I’ve never known you as a man of few words, Doctor Reid.”

“I guess you just have that effect on me.” He smiles as you move to fiddle with his belt, swiftly pulling his pants down his legs and letting him lean on you a little as he steps out of them. You make quick work of his sweater vest and button down after that, leaving him standing there in his boxers, nearly bare to you. He gets a little anxious when you don’t say anything at first, but when he takes the time to actually look at the way you’re staring at him, he realises you’re just as in awe of him as he is of you.

Taking you in his arms again, he walks you backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed, letting you shimmy up the mattress until your head rests comfortably on your pillows. You open your arms to him, parting your thighs to let him slot himself snuggly in between. Gripping your hips, he spreads his knees and — with a strength that surprises both of you — tugs you towards him so that your heat is flush with his bulge. You gasp at the sudden manhandling, but don’t seem upset. In fact, if he had to describe it, you look like you want to eat him.

He bends at the waist, sliding his hands down the backs of your thighs and holding them against his sides as he leans down to kiss you again. One hand finds his back while the other finds his hair, tugging and earning a groan in response. He’d be content to sit there and kiss you for hours, but as you grind against him, sighing into his mouth, it’s clear you’re eager to have more of him.

Letting go of your thighs, he carefully wedges his fingers between you and the mattress to guide your back into a high enough arch that he can unclasp your bra. It takes him a couple tries, throughout which you kiss at his jaw in a lovely — but also rather unhelpful — way, but he gets it and slips it off, tossing it off to some unknown corner of the room. His hands stay safely on your sides for a moment as he glances up at you, waiting until you nod before he palms at your breast, leaning down to suck a few hickeys into the skin of your neck as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. You half sigh, half moan next to his ear and he rolls his hips into yours involuntarily, making you wrap your legs around his lower back to keep him where he is.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere, lovely.” He mumbles against your skin, rolling his hips again as you grind down to meet him.

He shifts his attention lower for a moment, marking up your chest a little before pulling away, sitting back on his heels to admire his work. Dragging his fingertips over the freshly made hickeys and down the valley of your breasts, he can feel your heart beating hard and fast against your ribs. A little lower and he splays his palm over the soft flesh of your stomach. He can feel your heart there, too. He lowers his head to mouth at your sternum, and the vibrations reverberate against his lips and tongue in a steady lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.

He kisses and sucks a trail down your stomach, stopping a moment to nip at the swell of your abdomen before kissing at your skin apologetically when you gasp and tug on his hair. Hooking his fingers under your panties, he slips them off before biting at the meat of your inner thighs, soothing the area with his tongue before repeating the process a little further up.

“Spence,” You pant, and he hums, looking up at you from his place between your thighs, “Please.”

“Please what?” He asks cheekily, chuckling when you huff at him in frustration.

“Touch me.” You sigh, and he feels a little lightheaded, “Please.”

He dips his tongue into the well of slick at your entrance before dragging his tongue up to swirl around your clit. You choke on his name, arching your back and tugging on his hair. He lays there, eating at you like a man starved, sucking and rolling his tongue against you in a way that has you bucking your hips so much that he has to hook an arm around your thighs to hold them down. Slowly, he slips two fingers into you, earning a hissed, “Fuck” that has him rutting into the mattress. He curls his fingers and you use his hair as leverage to pull him closer.

His name sounds like music on your lips, lyrics strung together by breathy swears and blending into a chorus of moans. He finds when he flicks his tongue and curls his fingers a certain way, he can get you to whine all breathy and high pitched. He finds your body is his instrument. Your voice, his muse.

He feels you clench around his fingers, thighs trembling and breath speeding up as you get closer, and closer, before tipping over the edge with a loud, “Oh, shit!”

He lets go of your hips and slows his pace a little to let you use him to ride out your high, only stopping when you go lax beneath him and tug him away by his hair. He takes a moment to wipe his lips with the back of his hand before you pull him up your body to kiss him slow and sweet. Your hand travels to fiddle with the hem of his boxers, and he takes your wrist, looking at you rather seriously.

“Are you sure?” He asks, searching your eyes for any sort of hesitation and finding none.

You nod and peck his lips once before locking eyes with him, “Positive.”

“Okay.” He kisses you once more before sliding his boxers down his legs. As he gets them off his ankles and makes it back onto his knees, you lean over to your side table and quickly pull out a condom, opening it and passing it to him. He’s quick to roll it on before diving back into you, guiding you to lay back against your pillows. He kisses you once, twice, before dropping his forehead to your shoulder as he aligns himself with you. He pushes in slowly, bracing himself on his elbow and he lets out a wrecked moan next to your ear. When he bottoms out, he gives you a moment to adjust, waiting until you’re ready.

You roll your hips with a whiny little, “Spence.” and he sees stars. He goes slow, tries to be gentle, grinding his hips into yours and splitting you open slowly. His head is filled with the scent of you, the sound of you, the feel of you. When he said he wanted to drown in you, he meant it. He isn’t a religious man by any means, but if it meant worshipping at your feet and allowing him the privilege of being yours, he’d abandon his principles and repent in an instant.

“Harder.” You beg, and he bends to your will, setting a near back breaking pace.

He keeps the grinding motion, but the force at which his hips hit yours have you digging your nails into his back and throwing your head back. His mouth finds the side of your larynx, tongue laving over the area before he latches his lips to your skin and sucks another bruise into it.

The room is filled with your sinful noises, moans and the sound of skin on skin as his hips snap against yours so hard that he worries for a moment that you might bruise.

That thought is gone as quick as it comes when you moan out, “Fuck, just like that.”

That familiar coil winds up in his abdomen and warmth spreads from his thighs to his toes. You flutter around him, and he knows that you’re getting close too. His fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles over the little bundle of nerves until your legs tremble and his name falls from your lips like a prayer, cunt spasming around him until he’s reaching his high too. He whimpers as he spills into the condom, body going rigid before he lets his upper body rest fully on you.

There’s a moment where he just sits there, sweaty torso flush with yours as he presses his ear against your chest to listen to your heart slow. You run your fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp as you let him place a few sweet kisses to the curve of your breast.

“You wanna stay the night?” You ask softly and he nods.

He sits up to pull the condom off, tying it up and tossing it into the bin beside your bed before noticing the blissed out haze you’re in, “You want to have a shower?”

“Mm-mm.” You hum, holding your arms out to him.

“Okay.” He whispers as he flops onto the mattress beside you, pulling you into his chest and pressing his lips to your hairline. You sigh, nuzzling your nose against the divot where his collar bones meet. It isn’t long before your breaths even out and he isn’t far behind, the sound of your breathing coaxing him into a haze. The last thing he thinks about before he falls asleep is where he’s taking you on your next few dates.

———————————————————————

Taglist:

@fandomscombine @ivyflowers13 @nataratacat

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader

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concreteangel92 · 5 months ago

Note

I have a request! Do you think maybe you’d write a oneshot of Noah subbing for fem!reader on a leash? Holding him to you while he eats you out. Calling him ‘puppy’ 🥺 Him being mischievous and up to no good. Fucking adores his collar. Making him come before he’s allowed so you can punish him or have him make it up to you

Also please please please Noah having a thing for high heels like. They can stay on during sex. Something about the way you keep him at bay with one on pressing into his chest makes him 😵‍💫(But also the idea of him helping take them off and kissing down her thighs to her ankles. I swoon.)

Oh I love me a bit of a subby Noah, he looks far too good on his knees in my opinion 🥵

Now I done a one shot a while ago where the reader uses the lead to hold him into her, etc so I’ll link that here and I’ll continue under the cut the rest of your request and it can be a part 2 if you will haha hope you enjoy!!

18+ below the cut

Noah had a real thing for you in heels. 6 inch black platform stilettos are a particular favourite, they drive him absolutely wild.

Something you were well aware of when you got dressed for your date night tonight, Noah was taking you out for dinner so you decided to rile him up.

It definitely worked, the moment he saw you in your little black dress and heels, his jaw practically dropped.

“Fuck me”

You smirked, knowing you were going to keep him waiting all night before you let him indulge.

Over dinner you could see the longing in his eyes, how he shifted in his seat, you knew he could think of nothing else but you in your heels. Whispering “easy puppy” in his ear as you went to the toilets definitely caused a shift within him.

More than once you had to brush his hand away from your legs under the table, not missing the cheeky smile he had, he knew he was pushing you.

Once back at home, you could tell he was eager to have you, but tonight you were in charge and you wanted to make him beg for it.

“On your knees baby”

Noah looked at you and you saw him surrendering and he dropped down onto his knees in front of you.

“You were very disobedient at the restaurant, how many times did I have to move your hands away?”

You stared down at him with a look of annoyance, although it didn’t run deep.

“Three”

You bent down and grabbed his chin so he looked up at you.

“Three what?”

“Three times mistress”

You then firmly but not to hard, smacked the side of his cheek before gripping his chin again, not missing the groan that fell from his lips.

“Now you should know better my sweet boy? I’ve trained you better than that…makes me think that you wanted to upset me just so I can punish you eh?”

Noah hadn’t taken his eyes off you, he started to shake his head but you caught the small smile on his lips.

“Looks like you decided to be a brat today, that’s fine pup, I can forgive it…”

You sat down on the sofa behind you and spread your legs to reveal you had no underwear on.

“If you make sure that you apologise properly”

Noah let out another groan and went to dive forward onto you until you pressed one heel into his chest, stopping him in his tracks.

“Ah, ah, ah. Did I say you could eat yet?”

“No mistress, I’m sorry”

You pressed the heel more into his chest as you quickly slipped your dress over your head, leaving you in nothing but your heels.

“Mistress please, I’m sorry for acting up tonight”

You giggled, he looked like he was already pussy drunk before he’d even had you.

“I don’t think you deserve any treats tonight”

You reached your hand down and started to rub slow circles on your clit, making the point of letting out your low moans. Noah’s mouth fell open and you could see how painfully tight his trousers were.

“What’s the matter baby? Getting a bit warm with your clothes on?”

Noah nodded, his eyes not leaving your movements, you could see his hand going towards his bulge.

“Don’t. Even. Think. About it”

You circled your clit harder and then pushed your hand down further so you could slip a finger inside, feeling how wet you were, you moaned out as your eyes fell closed briefly.

“You may strip puppy but don’t you dare touch yourself”

Noah quickly rid himself of his clothes, carelessly tossing them to the side and knelt back in front of you and you finally saw how hard he was, he was already leaking and looked almost painful. What a beautiful sight.

“Please mistress, I’ll do anything but please let me do something or give me something”

“I’m already giving you a show”

You saw Noah look like he was about to cry in frustration, his fingers were twitching on his thighs and his breathing was getting faster.

You pulled your fingers out and leant forward.

“Open”

Noah done as he was told and you pressed your fingers into his mouth which he immediately sucked on, cleaning your own juices off of them.

When he moaned, you pulled your hand back and put your heel back into his chest, watching it dig into the tattoos.

“Don’t be greedy baby….You love me in these shoes don’t you?”

Noah nodded.

“I really do mistress”

“Then kiss them and show me that you’re sorry”

Noah’s hand gently wrapped around your ankle to support the weight of your leg and he kissed the top of your heel and then carried on leaving light kisses up your leg, his fingers leaving a tingling sensation as he traced your skin.

You spread your legs wider when he started to kiss your inner thighs, his warm breath ghosting over your skin. You wound your fingers into his hair to caress his head as he then started to go where you needed him most.

You felt him lick a long strip up your centre and back down to have a taste of you before he moved his lips to your clit and you felt his fingers around your entrance.

“Don’t play with me baby and remember….no touching yourself”

Noah nodded in between your legs, not once removing his mouth, he slipped in an inked digit and you felt your walls gripping onto him, the sensation so much better then when you do it due to the size difference of your hands.

“Oh fuck…”

Noah didn’t tease you anymore, he started up a fast, steady pace with his hand and he continued working his tongue and mouth on your clit, shaking his head and causing you to pull him into you more by his hair.

You threw one of your legs over his shoulder so he would feel your heel digging in and you felt your stomach start to twist up tighter.

“Noah, don’t stop, I’m so close”

Noah didn’t stop, he added a second finger and continued to eat you out like a man starved until you cried out as your orgasm washed over you, your hips crashing into his face as you rode out your high.

You pulled Noah’s face away and pulled him into a kiss, not caring in the slightest that his lower face was drenched.

When you pulled back, Noah leant his head on yours.

“Please mistress, please can I touch myself now, please I’m begging you”

You shushed him gently and kissed him once more.

“I’ll do better then that, sit up here pup, I’m going to ride you”

Noah’s eyes lit up at your words and he sat himself on the sofa next to you, his dick looking heavy as it fell back into his stomach, pre cum dripping onto his own skin in the process.

You moved so you were straddling him, you reached down and helped line him up before sinking down, Noah instantly letting out a low growl and his hands gripping your hips so hard he’d leave bruises.

“You always stretch me so perfectly baby, you’re so perfect for me”

Noah’s eyes had fallen shut, his brows were frowned and his lips fell open. You gripped his chin to make him look at you.

“Now puppy, you are not allowed to cum until I say so, is that clear?”

“Mistress I really don’t think I’m going to las..”

You bounced your hips up and down hard to cut his words off which got lost in his throat with a choked gasp.

“I’m not asking again, you’re going to let me use you as I like, would you like that? For me to use you puppy?”

Noah’s hands gripped your hips harder and his eyes were blown black with lust.

“Yes mistress please use me”

You smiled and stroked his cheek before you settled your hands on his shoulders and started to bounce your hips up and down, slowly at first but when the sensation started to rise, you moved faster.

The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin as the layer of sweat started to coat both your bodies, both of your moans and groans echoing around the room.

As you felt your high start to approach once more, you felt Noah’s hips rut up into yours as he cried out.

“Mistress…I can’t…”

The next thing you felt was hot ropes of Noah’s release coating your walls as his hips jolted and his head fell onto your shoulder with a low groan.

You stopped your movements as Noah tried to catch his breath back.

“Oh dear baby, looks like we need to train you to be more obedient”

The rest of the night, you made sure to punish your sweet boy in the most beautiful, sinful of ways.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens band #bad omens cult #noah sebastian davis #concreteangel92 #concreteangelasks #sub!noah #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #noah bad omens #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian smut

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therabbitthatpostthings · 1 year ago

Text

Timeline isn’t gonna match up or make sense so don’t think about it. This was for an OC I didn't care enough to fully flesh out. Kinda sorta post-canon (all Hashira alive). Little OOC so don't think about that either. Might do a part 2 with background. She/Her pronouns (I'm sorry. I'm lazy)

(Masterpost)

Tomioka Giyuu isn’t what you would call, active. In fact, the thought of him having a life outside the Demon Corps never crossed the Hashira’s minds (mostly because they didn’t think he had one IN the corps either).

He was early. Extremely early, actually. Tomioka was not the latest Hashira by any means but, up so early was, off, to say the least. Shinobu noted this when saying her ‘hellos’ to present Hashira. Tomioka, of course, stood off to the side, not making an effort to interact with anyone aside from a simple “Good Morning.” Even for the ever stoic Tomioka this behavior was weird.

“I guess he remembered us after all.” Shinazugawa hissed coming to the group. It was true that the last three meetings Tomioka had missed (granted they’ve all missed meetings due to work but never three in a row) and the thought of Tomioka slacking off and getting off scotch free added on to Shinazugawa’s ever-growing list of reasons to hate Tomioka.

“It must have been a hard mission.” Kanaroji chimed in.

This didn’t sway Shinobu or Shinazugawa. Shinobu knew it couldn’t have been missions for the last three months, Tomioka hadn’t stopped by the Butterfly Mansion once, not even to get ointment for aches and pains. Strong as they are, the Hashira are not invincible. In fact Tomioka hadn’t been badly injured since last spring. Shinobu knew all this. Even outside of missions Tomioka had just been missing overall. It’s like the silence was even quieter without him there. She peered over to Rengoku and Himajima who looked notably tired well- as tired as they possibly could -as they both lightly chatted with amongst themselves. Tomioka would say something back to them and then go back to staring blankly at the porch.

“He’s finally starting to slack off.” Obanai hissed from up high, the group now noticing he’s been here. “I hope he doesn’t think getting here early will absolve him.”

“Obanai you don’t mean Tomioka got here before you?” Shinobu teased

With a fluster shifting of his eyes, Obanai chose to glare at Giyuu rather than return her gaze. “I saw him coming from inside. Maybe Master snapped on him.”

Though they all doubted Master Ubuyashiki would ever raise his voice, the thought did fill Shinazugawa with momentary joy.

With the final Hashira, Muchiro, walking into the garden it was only a matter of time before the Master appeared. With the opening of the door, everyone’s head snapped up and voices hushed. Shinobu snuck a glance at Tomioka who seemed slightly off. He stood a little too straight and struggled to not ball his fist. Obanai’s theory suddenly seemed more plausible.

—

With the meeting concluded you could practically hear the sigh escape Giyuu’s lips as he walked to the porch. He could feel all the eyes on him as he stepped up there only to be stopped by Hinaki.

“I have to ask that you wait here.” She said calmly.

“But me and Hiro-“

“OI! Have some respect Tomioka!” Shinazugawa yelled. He approached the porch. “Who do you think you are to go around ordering people?!”

He caught Giyuu’s glare from on high. His unchanging eyes shifting back to Hinaki only angered Shinagawa more. “He’s looking down on me,” Shinazugawa thought this an act of war.

Glaring back at him, he said “It’s one thing for you to skip meetings but to disrespect the Master’s family.”

“I’m not disrespecting her, I had a question.” Giyuu replied plainly. He was feeling slightly annoyed and very fearful now. This was not how today was supposed to go. He turned back to Hinaki, “Please, we must be on our way-“

“You bastard.” Shinazugawa was already reaching to pull Giyuu off the porch (not wanting to beat him on the porch, that would be disrespectful). Giyuu was ready to draw his sword when the sound of footsteps alerted them all. Out from the door burst Kiriya and another small child. They maneuvered around Giyuu and Hanaki before Kiriya had tripped taking the small boy with him. Before they could launch themselves off the porch Giyuu caught one under each arm and held onto Hinaki’s collar to keep her from falling over.

He set the children down gently, “Forgive me please, Ubuyashiki-san.”

“No, thank you Tomioka-San.” Hinaki replied, graceful as ever. Lady Ubuyashiki was quick behind them to collect her son. Giyuu apologized once again.

“Hiroshi,” Giyuu turned back to the small boy. He stood slightly behind Kiriya with his head low in shame. Giyuu knelt down, “You should apologize to Lady Ubuyashiki and Hinaki.”

Big blue eyes filled with embarrassment the boy complied. Lady Ubuyashiki smiled kindly, “Please be careful next time you return.”

“He can come back?” Kiriya asked

“As long as Tomioka is okay with it.” She smiled kindly

“Of course.” Giyuu replied as the three kids waved off. “Come on, we’re going home.” The boy followed behind Giyuu quietly. He had a small round face and wild black hair sticking out in all directions. Following along, Hiroshi started to sniffle and finally stopped on the bottom step, tugging on Giyuu’s haori.

“What’s wrong?” Giyuu asked

“I’m sorry Papa.” He cried softly as Giyuu picked him up in his arms trying to soothe the boy.

“It’s okay Hiroshi, I know it was an accident but there’s two of you and only one Hinaki. She could have been hurt. Please be more careful.”

The boy nodded sniffling into his fathers shoulder.

The remaining Hashira stared in astonishment at the action. By the time he got his son to calm down Giyuu had finally noticed that he never left the garden and out the front of the home as intended. Still holding Hiroshi, Giyuu bowed his goodbye and left the garden. Before the rest of Hashira could finish processing what just happened Rengoku and Himajime also left quietly behind him.

—

The next meeting came about a month and a half later. This time Giyuu entered at his normal time with Muichiro coming afterwards. He actively stood apart hoping they all would have forgotten (they didn’t), and suffered silently as the many eyes bore into his head.

It wasn’t just Giyuu, Shinobu was also shooting her glance to Himejima and Rengoku. Himejima was holding up well (surprisingly) but Rengoku was going to pop. Unbeknownst to everyone else, Tengen spent the last week and a half trying to break whatever secret Tomioka had about the same child out of him. An unstoppable force and an immovable object and all that.

Giyuu was silently praying for this meeting to end soon and end this mental game all the Hashira were taking part in. He had already prepared an exit tragedy to get out with the least amount of questions. He looked at Rengoku and Himejima. The game plan was set and they just need to be ready to go.

You could feel the tension ease when Master Ubuyashiki called the meeting to a close. They all stood quietly, paitiently waiting for him to go inside before all hell broke loose. And just as the door closed Lady Ubuyashiki called out, “Tomioka-San. A word please.”

Rengoku was screaming on the inside as Giyuu looked over to him briefly. Tengen hardly waited for Giyuu to take a single step, “How come you two got to know but we didn’t?”

“A secret child Tomioka?” Shinobu called out “You must not like us if we didn’t get to know.”

“It’s not that…” Giyuu finally broke his silence. He reached for the door when it suddenly swung open and the little pitter of footsteps was heard. Giyuu jumped back and was quick to catch the small figure barreling towards him, “Hiroshi!? What are you doing here?”

“Mama hurt her feet.” Hiroshi replied like it was obvious. All heads snapped to the door and out stepped a woman on a pink kimono.

“(Y/N)?” He looked surprised.

“Ah, Giyuu!” She peered up walking over to him

“What happened?” He stepped closer to hold onto her waist.

“Just some sores and aches. Lady Ubuyashiki has been so kind.” She turned to both of them “It’s been in honor in your presence.”

“The pleasure is ours, Lady Tomioka.”

And that’s what broke the string holding all together. The family wordlessly walked off the porch and headed to leave..

Shinobu called out “T-Tomioka?!”

“Yes?” Said (Y/N) and Hiroshi as all three turned to face them.

“Oh! Rengoku-San, Himajime-San! So good to see you both.” (Y/N) smiled

Himejima finally exhaled as both men walked over to greet (Y/N). Both of them gave Giyuu an apologetic look. Hiroshi looked over their shoulders to the remaining Hashira still in a daze. Looking at them side by side there was no denying it. Hiroshi is identical to Giyuu, just smaller and with the cutest round face that Mitsuri just had to gush over.

“You are so cute! Like a mini Tomioka!” She squealed.

“Your hair looks like mochi!” Hiroshi stayed proudly. “Mama, can we get mochi!”

(Y/N) smiled, “That sounds like our que. It was an honor to meet you all.”

The family walked out the garden, with Rengoku and Himejima sneaking out with them.

“What the fuck just happened?” Shinazugawa broke the silence.

—

The next meeting was well over two months and the pillars were determined to not let Giyuu go without answers. Especially since he’d recently had to heal up at the Butterfly Mansion while Shinobu was out. Before he could even think of leaving they had him cornered, Obanai watching over Rengoku and Himejima.

“When were you gonna tell us you were married?!” Uzui shouted

“No one asked and I’d rather have a small wedding…” Giyuu answered plainly.

“What about your ring then?”

Giyuu pulled down his collar to show a silver ring on a chain tucked into his undershirt.

“How did you two find out then?” Obanai hissed.

“Tomioka requested I accompany him on a mission so he could be home earlier,” Himejima stated.

“I had an urgent matter with the Master and happened to meet them all as they were leaving.” Rengoku said.

“Wait so Master knows too?” Mitsuri asked

“Yes, they were at the wedding.” Giyuu replied.

“You are unbelievable.” Shinazugawa muttered. “How were you able to get married?”

Giyuu didn’t seem to have an answer. It’s something he thought to himself many times but when (Y/N) smiled at him he always forgot about it. Before he could try to answer, he heard (Y/N) calling out to him. The Hashira were surprised to (Y/N) walk up in a demon slayer uniform and golden checkered haori. She smiled and bowed to the Hashira, “Hello, I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“No, I'm done here.” Giyuu replied.

“Wait, Tomioka!” Shinobu called as they turned to leave.

“Yes?” They both answered to Shinobu’s annoyance. They did it again.

(Y/N) nudged Giyuu forward as she assumed they meant him. Uzui cut in, “We only wanted to officially meet you, Lady Tomioka.”

“Oh!” (Y/N) smiled “I’m honored to meet you all, I am Tomioka (Y/N), (Y/N) is fine.”

“It's so good to meet you! How long have you and Giyuu been together?” Mitsuri asked, the only genuine person in all this.

“I’ve known him since I joined the Corps, we met while I was on my way to a job, it was in separate areas but we met up on the way back.” (Y/N) answered recalling their younger years.

“We’ve been married for five years.” Giyuu answered. The Hashira took note that their son looked about that age. It took all of Uzui’s strength for him to not comment on it.

“How sweet!” Mitsuri cheered “I had no idea you had such a happy family Tomioka!”

“We try not to talk about it,” (Y/N) smiled. A lot more open than Giyuu but (Y/N) also enjoyed their privacy. “Up until now, only Master Ubuyashiki knew. Hiroshi and Kiriya became good friends.”

The Hashira had a million other questions but they tethered on inappropriate or just plain mean. Out of respect for Lady Tomioka, they held themselves together. The strangeness of the situation wasn’t lost on either of them. They were happy though. The couple said their goodbyes and turned to leave. The Hashira saw the tension lift off Giyuu’s shoulders as he smiled with his wife.

“Why must we question Tomioka,” Himejima spoke once they left. “Lord Uzui is married with three wives.”

“Yeah but that was before he joined the corps,” Sanemi said “We didn’t know him then, we know Tomioka- barley. He’s a fucking buzzkill and he has a sweet woman that not only married him but slept with him at least once!?”

With those “graceful” last words they parted for the evening.

#shitpost #shitposting #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #tomioka giyu x reader #tomioka giyuu #writing fanfics at 3 am #cringe-#no beta we die like men #Giyuu Secret Family AU

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idlerin · 2 years ago

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I JUST WANNA FEEL YOUR PRESENCE

celebrity!akaashi keiji x f!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

the ikarus incident (band au)

+ word count: 3.8k

content — light angst, fluff? fluff!, insecurity, and akaashi keiji being hopelessly in love w u

it's not easy dating one of the most sought out and influential men in the industry. the conflicting schedules and how you always have to share him with the world, but in the end, your heart desires what it desires.

AKAASHI KEIJI didn’t mean to make you feel neglected. You knew that. You knew that. Maybe you could even talk to him about how you’re feeling when you could actually find the means to contact him. Which isn’t anytime soon. You’re hitting your fifth anniversary this weekend and you weren’t even sure if he could make it. You understand of course, it’s not like he could stop a whole event just because his girlfriend wants his company. You weren’t the selfish type, you’ve never been. You would feel guilty if that were to happen. It’s just that, it’s been six months since you’ve last had a proper conversation. Six months filled with missed calls, late texts, ‘i’m sorry’s and ‘it’s okay’ except that it wasn’t. Just because you understood didn’t mean you could shake off the irrationality of wanting his attention.

“You should focus on yourself more, [name],” Kaiya tells you through the phone, you’ve turned to her for your– as you say– immature problems, “Okay, listen to me, you’re always putting others before yourself, try to catch a breather. Your problems are not irrelevant just because they seem quote en quote immature. You’re allowed to whine once in a while, you know? Stop keeping all of your feelings bottled up.”

“I know,” you slump on your bed, placing your phone on your bedside table so you could comfortably place your arms around yourself like the sad lonely potato you are.

“You say you know but I know my advice is going through one ear and out in the other,” Kaiya deadpans, you hear rustling and you could only assume she was baking again.

“To be fair I don’t exactly know how to focus on myself more. You know I’ve always been a bit of a people pleaser and liked to well, focus on others,” you rub your arms as you stare at your ceiling, recalling your high school days. You’d like to think you were tough, but only on the inside.

“A bit? You used to do every favor anyone’s asked of you before I stepped in and made them all shut the fuck up–” you cut her off.

“But what if they really needed my help!” you even used your hands to make a gesture to fully emphasize your point even if she couldn’t see you.

“They were taking advantage of you. There’s a difference between helping someone once and acting like their bell boy.”

“They were our seniors.”

“They were assholes.”

“Assholes are a bit harsh of a term.”

“See! You haven’t changed, maybe just a bit, thanks to yours truly. But you’re still so pure I want to put you in my pocket sometimes and take you away from my brother.”

You laugh, not really believing her when she calls you ‘pure’, “Thanks for distracting me, Kaiya,” you say softly instead, you weren’t even sure if you were heard on the other line.

“You’re welcome, always. I’m sure my brother’s going to show his face to you anytime soon.”

“I hope so,” you murmur.

He doesn’t.

It’s your anniversary.

The time 11:52 PM flashes on your home screen.

You bite your lower lip to stop the tears from flowing as you grip your phone. You’ve been waiting for a text or call from him all day. He was in a different district this week for a fan meeting, lucky fans, you can’t help but think of it in spite. Lines and lines of them, you could only imagine how exhausting it was to entertain them all. You guess he was just too tired to remember your anniversary. Because let’s face the truth that’s been bugging your mind all day, he forgot. He forgot.

He forgot but you were still hopeful enough that he would remember before the day ended.

He forgot and it’s–because his world is constantly moving and it feels like yours is only revolving around him.

He forgot but you understand.

You could think of a hundred different ways the day could’ve been a bit better. And all of them involved him communicating with you in some type of way. But perhaps he really was just too caught up with work. You understand.

But it hurts.

And it’s not okay.

You’re not okay as you tuck your knees to your chest and let yourself cry for the first time in months.

Akaashi only realizes his mistake the next day when he sees the date. You knew of this with the way he frantically called your phone. You merely stared at the screen flashing his contact name, and honestly, you weren’t ready to talk to him yet. As much as you should answer immediately and shout at him for forgetting such an important day, you couldn’t find it in you to show a bit of anger. All you could feel was defeat.

So you stared at the screen, not making a move to pick up your phone. You were willing to suffer the incessant sound of ringing until.. until…

Until he realizes you weren’t going to answer.

It was as difficult as you thought. Ignoring Akaashi Keiji wasn’t something you were good at, but something you were good at, was restraint. It wasn’t difficult since he was miles away from you and it’s not like you weren’t already suffering from the bare minimum of conversation from his side for months. So you’ve managed to hold up the wall, a wall that’s in the brink of shriveling up and collapsing on you because how could you practice restraint when he’s on the other side of the door and not on the other side of a phone.

“[name] can we please talk?” you missed that voice, you clench your fist, there was nothing you wanted more than to open the door and immediately gather him in your arms and say you forgive him.

“I’m sorry,” ah, that word again, how many times have you heard that from him now? But what else could he say or do? There was surely nothing that could soothe you. Akaashi knows you well enough for that, “I’m sorry, please open the door so we can talk.”

You stay silent, giving yourself the privilege of thinking it over.

“Alright.. It’s okay, as long as you’re listening it’s alright, you’re listening, right, my love?” it wasn’t something to gauge out a response from you, because you were heavily intent on giving him the silent treatment.

“I didn’t mean to forget about our anniversary, the event was held up until 10 and right after the band and I had a meeting and I lost track of time. I know that it sounds like an excuse. I'm sorry, there isn’t anything that would justify what I did. I haven’t been a good boyfriend at all these past few months, and you deserve better. But can you please not give up on me?” his voice cracks and you swallow down the words you want to say to reassure him with instead because Akaashi was overthinking these past few days just as much as you, your boyfriend and you were similar in that regard, but you aren’t exactly sure if you could provide reassurance you would mean.

You open the door so abruptly Akaashi almost stumbles inside, the result of leaning on the door. You gather up your courage to look him in the eye enough so your knees wouldn’t grow weak. You were always soft and weak whenever you were around him. Most of the time it would feel like bliss but right now it was only a painful reminder of how you would take whatever he could give you, no matter how much it would break you.

But Kaiya was right, you needed to focus on yourself more.

Akaashi’s eyes lit up the moment he finally catches a glimpse of you but when he saw the look in your eyes he understood immediately what you wanted to convey without saying anything. You gulped trying to control your emotions as you reached for one of his hands so you could grasp it in both of yours, this was your way of saying sorry. A tear slips and you become a silent crying mess in front of him as he tries to process everything.

“[name], are you thinking about.. do you want to break up with me?” Akaashi says it in a fragile tone, it shattered your heart, you didn’t.. mean to.. you didn’t want to feel like this. You just couldn’t help the sobs that rattle your chest, him saying it outright makes it feel more real. That you were actually going through with it. Breaking up with him. Something you’ve thought of thoroughly between these days of silence.

“I.. I,” Akaashi gulps, “It’s.. okay, if you want to,” you watch as his jaw tightens and his forehead ticks for the slightest second, he was trying to act normal for you, so it would be easier, “I don’t want to see you hurt and I know I’ve only been hurting you these past months. If breaking up would be good.. for you, then.. then it’s okay,” he takes a move to take your face in his hands and wipe your tears.

“Ah,” he inhales sharply, you look up to see that he was tearing up too, “Sorry, sorry. It’s just, I couldn’t hold it in,” Akaashi tries to laugh. You attempted to laugh too but it ended up with you shedding more tears.

“Can I hug you?” he asks, “Please?” his voice cracks, your answer was wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

He rests his head in the crook of your neck and that’s when he finally breaks, “[name].. [name] I love you so much.. I.. I don’t want to break up,” he couldn’t control his tears anymore, “Please don’t break up with me. I love you. I don’t want to.. I don’t want to. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I promise I’ll find a way to make it better, I’ll be better for us [name].. please don’t leave..” he hugs you tighter, “..don’t leave me.”

You pat his back, a ridiculous aim to calm him down, this is only one of the few times he’s broken down, you recall a conversation you’ve had with him where he said he could only ever be vulnerable around you, “Keiji,” you say his name as a plead, “I love you.. I love you so much, but I think I need a break from… just everything. But I’m not leaving you, I swear. It isn’t going to be permanent, please give me time?”

A moment where your cries and his intertwine as you clutch his shoulder as if basking in the last moments you could hold him. It just makes him hold onto you tighter.

“Okay,” Akaashi says after a few minutes of basking in each other’s warmth, “..Okay,” he squeezes you once more before letting go.

“Thank you,” I’m sorry, you mean it, as you stare up at him with watery eyes, you take a step back and close your door with shaky hands. Your last sight of him was of his distraught expression and tear stained cheeks parallel to yours..

I’m sorry.

You miss him.

More than ever before.

It’s been 3 months since you’ve broken it off. You’ve cut your contact with him for now but of course you couldn’t truly escape him. His life was just too thoroughly intertwined with yours. You still feel longing for him, but that was inevitable. Things have been better with you, it felt like a step to something better, for the both of you. You’ve tried new hobbies lately, such as your yoga sessions to calm your mind and running every morning. You’ve tried balancing it along with your new job in a traditional publishing house.

Late at night, when you’re all alone and wallowing in self pity you miss him, but you always manage to stop yourself from searching his name on twitter to see what he was up to. It’s been 3 months of no communication and it’s killing you, even if it’s a self-inflicted rule you manage over. But as you said, your lives were too intertwined.

That was why you’re standing in a corner in the Akaashi family reunion beside Kaiya who was arguing with her cousin, who, when left, turned to you.

How could you resist an invitation from Mrs. Akaashi, his mother? She was way too nice to you and you’ve always attended Akaashi family gatherings, what would be your excuse to not attend, surely not anything good enough, but you didn’t even attempt to say no. Because you did want to go.

“The two of you are so obvious,” your best friend rolls her eyes.

“Huh?” you ask, confused while eating a hotdog an auntie gave you.

“My brother and you are. so. obvious,” she points her stick where a hotdog was once to Akaashi who was talking with an Uncle, “He keeps glancing here and looking at you longingly like a lovesick puppy, it’s kinda gross,” she grimaces, “It’s a surprise my other relatives haven’t figured out that you guys have been dating for years. Whenever we have a get together he’s always hanging around somewhere near you like a moth to a flame. What did you feed him dude?”

Your heart ached, you were trying to ignore his presence because you didn’t know how to initiate an interaction that wasn’t going to be awkward. You greeted him stiffly earlier when you were approaching his parents and he was unluckily beside them. You tried to act like you usually would, as if this wasn’t the first time you were seeing him in person after your break up. You didn’t want it to be this way, in fact, you want it to be the opposite. After all these months, you’ve realized you can live without him, but you didn’t want to.

“We dated for years. Not anymore,” you mumble, bad habits die hard, and one of those is your pessimism, but you quickly say something else before she could hound you, “And it’s your fault for always inviting me to your family gatherings, they got used to it, do I look like an Akaashi?” you roll your eyes at her.

“Soon to be,” she winks at you. You blush at the implication, “You’re going to get back together anyways,” Kaiya was so sure of it, when you told her about how you broke up with her brother her immediate reply was ‘He deserves it, he was being stupid. The both of you are too stupidly in love to completely call it off, so let’s talk about my recent dior purchase because look–’.

“Okay but really, you’re family, just not blood-related, my parents love you to the point that I think they considered adopting you once, my aunts and uncles think you’re absolutely adorable, and my nieces and nephews are always looking for “[n/n]-chan”. You’re practically already Akaashi [name],” she gestures dramatically, just then one of her cousins that was arranging the tables to make a big long one for the whole family to sit in says ‘Bring out the food!’

You soon find yourself seated in one of the chairs beside Kaiya, all would be well if Akaashi Keiji hadn’t decided to sit in front of you. Now you were avoiding meeting his eye, oh you only wish for this dinner to go fast and smoothly because you don’t know how long you’re going to last in this avoiding eye contact game.

“[name] when are you going to date our Hiroki?” an auntie asked, catching your attention, they were pertaining to Keiji's cousin. Oh there they go again, they have always teased Hiroki with you since around 4 years ago when he said that his ideal girlfriend was you, the family never let go of it, you always laughed it off since it was harmless, and there was no way you have eyes for any other Akaashi that isn’t Akaashi Keiji.

A few adults laughed, most teasing Hiroki, you distantly heard a choking sound coming from your best friend, and Hiroki himself was very red. You laughed awkwardly before an uncle said something that caught you off-guard.

“I thought Keiji and [name] were in a relationship?” which made your heart beat unbelievably faster. You almost dropped your fork, Kaiya was trying to contain her laughter but she slapped your thigh as if she was saying ‘See? You guys were obvious’ and you did the one thing you didn’t want to do. You locked eyes with Keiji.

Auntie laughed, “Come on honey, our Keiji is too busy being a celebrity to be in a relationship.”

Ouch.

It felt like everything that happened flashed before you and the gaze you were holding with Keiji right now was delicate. It definitely looks like he wants to say something but you stop him with one simple shake of your head. He complies as he always did in your relationship. And just like that, you move your attention elsewhere.

“Hiroki has liked you since forever [name], does he not make moves? Silly boy,” Auntie continues.

“Ma!” Hiroki shouts in embarrassment, “[name] will feel awkward, I’m sorry [name],” he bows his head to you, you shake your head and wave your hands, you wish for the conversation to change to something not revolving around you.

“It’s okay, Auntie just teases a lot,” you chuckle, taking a bite of your carbonara.

“Hiroki nii-san said earlier [name]-chan looked very pretty today!” one of the kids added.

The adults were about to comment rather joyously when Akaashi clanged his glass to get everyone’s attention, “That’s enough guys, [name] is getting uncomfortable,” he says calmly, you were the only one who noticed how there was a slight off in his movement, like he was annoyed but pretending not to be, the vein in his hand that was holding the cup a little too tightly gave it away.

“Keiji has always looked after [name] like his own sister, it’s cute,” Keiji’s older cousin Aiki says.

Your best friend couldn’t contain her laughter then, everyone looked at her as she cackled like a maniac, “Yeah, sure, he totally thinks of her like a sister,” she says, full of mirth. Aiki was sitting on her other side so she was looking at Kaiya like she was out of her mind.

Everyone thought she was just spouting nonsense again and veered into a different topic. You couldn’t help but glance at Keiji who you knew whose gaze on you never faltered.

For some reason, the universe liked to play with you. You didn’t know if it loved you or hated you. Surely trapping you in the kitchen with Akaashi Keiji when he was supposed to be out buying more alcohol with a cousin was a coincidence or maybe methodical plans made by the person you call best friend you’ve spent more than half of your life with. Whatever it was, it led you to this moment with him. You and him, alone. Most of the family were still out in the backyard, the ones that were still awake of course, most of the kids were asleep, the older kids were watching a movie in the living room, the young-adults were with the aunts and uncles drinking outside.

You were planning on staying over and having a sleepover with Kaiya, who was one of the young-adults getting shit faced outside, but you wouldn’t have put it past her to not have meddled in a little with your relationship with her brother before getting shit faced.

You get a glass of water, using it to sober yourself, you haven’t consumed any alcohol, but you didn’t trust yourself to be composed around Akaashi Keiji. So you drink your water, inhaling before you find the right words.

“I miss you,” Keiji spoke first. He was closer than you initially thought, with your back on the entrance you hadn’t realized he was caging you in. His arm is on the counter beside where you’re still holding down the cup. Now you were truly trapped, and this is how you knew that everything was going to be fine.

“Until when is our break going to last?” he says in a trivial way, like he was asking you if you liked the weather. As if he wasn’t saying it directly in your ear, making you shiver. You remember telling him once that you liked how you could feel his voice when he spoke close to your ear. It was something very Keiji to remember and use at a time like this, you expect nothing less than perfect composure while your insides are malfunctioning.

“Keiji,” you finally turn to face him, but you don't have much room to work with, quite literally. Your hands are behind you on the counter as you look up at Akaashi and soak in his features. You missed everything, his voice, his eyes, his perfume. Everything that makes him, him. He reaches a hand out to gently cup your face, he looks into your eyes, testing the waters. If you would allow him to touch you so he could ground himself. As if feeling you was getting back his sense of reality.

“You look better,” he murmurs, using his thumb to caress your cheek, “I’m glad,” he smiles.

“Thank you for giving me time,” you place your hand over his, leaning into his touch more, “I’m sorry too,” you say.

“I should be the one saying sorry,” Akaashi’s brows furrow, “I still haven’t made it up to you.”

“So.. should we start again?” you say in a soft voice, shyly looking up at him through your lashes.

Akaashi leans down to place a kiss on your forehead, as if it was something he had wanted to do all evening, “We’re picking up where we left off.”

“That sounds nice,” you murmur, tilting your head up to place a sweet kiss on Keiji’s cheek. “We still have a lot to talk about,” you add, reaching over to brush his hair out of his face while his hands have moved down to your waist.

“And as I said, I have a lot of making up to do. I’m sorry for everything I put you through,” Akaashi has a troubled expression on his face, “I won’t make the same mistakes again. I can’t promise you that it would be easy dating me, you know that it isn’t, because of my job. That’s why I’m so thankful you've still stuck with me all these years despite all my misgivings. I love you, so much. And I.. want to show you off to the world, my love.”

You bite your lower lip, it was here, another step in your relationship, “Let’s start with your family?”

Akaashi couldn’t help but pull you in for a kiss, one that leaves you gasping and breathless, “I love you,” you say.

“Stay with me forever,” Akaashi states, not even giving you a choice, it makes you laugh with giddiness, you were the only one who got to see this side of him.

“Sounds like a good plan.”

Being selfish once in a while felt nice.

a/n — guys i have to wake up for school in like less than 2 hrs but my brain said no syl finish your akaashi fic and i listened to my monster

general taglist + @rintarousprincess @giyuus0nlywife @luvrsthrist @cherries4denki @cloud-lyy @misscaller06 @noideawhothatis @wolffmaiden

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kazumist · 2 years ago

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EPISODE 7 ★ FUZZY FEELING

FAKE IT TILL WE MAKE IT — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

masterpost / prev ep / next ep / timestamps don't matter

scaramouche must have been crazy.

seriously? a date? it was the last thing you expected! however, if you were going to pretend to be a couple, going on dates is actually a given. and like you said in your message to him:

we both have to suck it up.

even if that means having your first date with the guy you hate.

luckily enough, the awkward ride to the aquarium ended faster than you expected. but now that you’re here, how does one enjoy an aquarium date anyway? or what does one even talk about on their first date in general?

these were the questions running through both of your heads as you mindlessly wandered around.

“hey,” scaramouche starts.

“hmm?”

“this fish looks a lot like childe for some reason.”

when you turned to look at what he was looking at, you seriously had to hold back a loud laugh. because why does the fish actually look like childe? “that’s a clownfish, right?” you ask him.

“you know about these things?”

“not really; i just watched finding nemo back then as a kid.”

“oh wait, here’s the description. yeah, it’s a clownfish, and it seems like even their description fits childe even more,” scaramouche says, pointing his head at a podium nearby with his hands inside his pockets.

“clownfish are active and territorial fish with an erratic swimming pattern who sometimes appear to be doing acrobatics while defending the area around their anemone," you read aloud. “see? it fits him perfectly.”

“are you saying childe seems to do acrobatics sometimes?”

“no, i’m saying that he’s way too hyper for his own good.”

“isn’t that supposed to be venti, though?”

“they’re practically the same kind; does it really matter who is who?”

you laugh at his response.

maybe this isn’t so bad. just maybe.

with the sun almost setting, your little trip to the aquarium ends, and you both decide to stop by a cafe on the way home.

but unfortunately, the awkward tension comes back.

what now? are you supposed to say, “hey, i had fun today,” and just move along? are you supposed to ask, “so how did the date go for you? did you have fun like i did?” you couldn’t find the right words to say, but you couldn’t stand this awkward atmosphere either.

“i… kinda had fun today.”

can this guy read minds or something?

"likewise."

time flew by faster than you expected, and now you were walking out of the cafe with scaramouche. “thanks for today, even though i was kinda against it at first,” you said.

“i hope you realize that we have to do this often if we really want to be convincing.”

“yeah, yeah, i get it. give me a break. who would’ve thought that i would be going on a date with you, of all people?”

“why do you sound so icked by the thought of going out with me?” he rolled his eyes.

“because i am icked by it, smart ass.”

“says the one who equally enjoyed the day like i did?”

“sorry, my pride is too high to make me admit that i actually enjoyed your company.”

he shakes his head at your response. how very… likely of you to say such a thing.

“i guess this is goodbye, then?” scaramouche asks.

“yeah. why? do you not want the day to end?”

“don’t put words into my mouth.”

“you didn’t really deny it, you know.”

“why are you like this?”

“why shouldn’t i be like this?”

from your peripheral vision, you could see a familiar sight of blue-ish white hair as well as a blonde walking nearby. since they didn’t really know that this wasn’t real, you acted out of impulse. but what did you do exactly?

you kissed scaramouche on the cheek and waved him goodbye, just like that.

extra notes.

i didn't expect this chapter to be so long uhm idk im 50/50 on the narrations bc deadass it was hard 2 write for me ... OTL

theyre kinda getting close! emphasize on kinda though

more silly little romance in the next chapter haha pls stay tuned

synopsis.

what happens when scaramouche, your rival since the first year of highschool, had some annoying admirers on his back? easy—he (fake) dates you to shoo them off. nothing can possibly go wrong with faking a relationship with the guy you hate, right?

spoiler: apparently, a lot can go wrong.

taglist (open): @niiheng @yinyinggie @ilyuu @veekoko @motherscrustytoenailclippings @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @akairaindrops @kichiyoshi @lxkeeeee @user11918163805279 @sketcheeee @yukiipc @kyouzki @quokkatss @ynverse @yuyumaru @danhenglovebot @sheep-from-rad @gekkow @aeongiies @scararaw @beriiov @thenightsflower @simpforsubmissivemen @sakurapeach @akxtagawaxryxn0sxke @naheana @supernova25 @mitsu-moshi @yelleloww @kiyomi-hoku @kazemiya @theblueblub @lazy-sanns

#( smau — fake it till we make it ! )#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche smau #wanderer smau #scaramouche #wanderer #genshin smau #x reader

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igotanidea · 2 years ago

Text

Date gone wrong : Jason Todd x plus-size fem!reader part 2

part 1

Y/N rushed out of the cave and back into her room with the speed no one would even dare to suspect her of having. Tim could barely keep up with her and he was the Robin. Much more trained than her. The second the girl reached her bedroom she fell onto the soft sheets groaning in frustration and the pillow did little to muffle it.

“Y/N….” Tim approached her slowly, not having enough courage to sit beside

“You know Tim, sometimes I hate your brothers.”

“Tell me about it. Dick and Jason can be a pain in the ass each but when they are together….” Tim shook his head, understanding her perfectly “for what it’s worth I’m sorry I started this.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s not your fault at all.”

“So….. you’re not sad? You acted pretty shaken out there. I mean, there are still signs of tears on your face.”

“Please” she rolled her eyes and propped herself on the elbow to face the middle Wayne. “It was an act. I was really hoping this would stop them from reading. You did not hear it from me, but tears are sometimes woman’s last resort. Most man get bemused with the sight of it and give up whatever reason caused them. Of course I should have known this wouldn’t work for your brothers.”

“Probably. But you know, it’s ok to be hurt. There is nothing wrong with it.” Tim finally sat on the bed next to his friend.

“I know. And I was. But it was long time ago, you know. I came to terms with the fact that I’m not the girl who can be the object of interests. And it’s fine. Or maybe not. I mean there are worse and better days, but I’m handling them. I’d rather focus on how I act and behave and my character than reminiscent all the hard words from the past.”

“Some people in this family could really take example from you.”

“Hush!” Y/N smiled and put a hand over Tim’s mouth “the walls have ears, let’s not give away any names.”

“As you wish. You know, Y/N, I know first handed that being laughed at, mocked and pointed because of who you are sucks. But the world is full of assholes and …. “ he hesitated

“What?”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna say it” Tim rubbed his forehead “but in this case the “fuck them” attitude helps. You just do your thing and people who are really worth a place in your life will appear. “

“How’s Bernard doing, Tim?”

“I… um…. What?”

“Oh, you are blushing. That is just so cute.”

“I’m not…. This is not about…..”

“Hey, relax. I’m the last one who will tease you about it. You two are really good together and you deserve all the best in the world Tim. Don’t worry about me. I’m….. good with my life. Especially since I have a friend like you.” she looked straight into his face “Thank you, Tim. You never fail to make me feel better.”

“Likewise, Y/N” Tim smirked, a crazy plan already forming inside his head “and speaking of friends, Bernard has one friend that I think you would like to meet and…..”

“Oh, damn it!”

***

“Remind me again, why did I agree to this?”

“Cause you could not resist my proposition.”

“Sure, if you can even call it proposition.” she hissed “blind double date. I can’t believe it. It’s like going back in time.”

“This time it will be so much better, I promise.”

“I trust you with this, Tim. But I don’t really have high hopes. I told you, I’m not Miss America, just the girl next door and that is not…..”

“Hush! Stop it! You look amazing and are a wonderful person and if you can’t see it yourself I’m gonna help you get to the point where you respect yourself and …..”

“Tim?”

“Yes?”

“Did you notice that our friendship is mostly based on assuring each other that we have value outside of work and the things we do? It’s like we are constantly trying to prove each other we deserve good things.”

“The difference is, you were a bit more successful with that than me.”

“Just a bit?” Y/N raised an eyebrow in disbelief

“Let me return the favor, Y/N. Let me …. Oh, there they are.” The boy turned towards the direction of two man walking across the street towards them.

“Hello Tim.” Bernard came closer and smiled at his boyfriend “Y/N.”

“Hey Bernard. Nice to see you again.”

“Been too long, right? Tim is always so secretive when it comes to his family it seems like I’m being left out. “

“I’m sure he told you enough to get me inside this situation.”

“Right.” Bernard chucked “speaking of that I’d like you to meet Tyler, Y/N. Where is ……?”

“I’m here, I’m here. Sorry, got an emergency call at the hospital and just could not …..”

“Tyler is a doctor!” Bernard interrupted the explanation “he’s very devoted to his work but thankfully, still made it on time. Tyler, this is Y/N, the girl I told you about.”

“Hello, miss Y/N. It’s truly a pleasure to meet you.”

“Um…. Thank you?” that was new for her. She was rather used to being judged for her curves and outlook, but this one here seemed like a really nice guy, who saw more than just the way she looked like.

“Bernard told me you work in tech industry?”

“Not exactly. I have wide knowledge on the subject but I write a column about it for a newspaper rather than invent anything myself and …..”

“With her brain she could be the best pioneer in the state…..”

“Tim!” Y/N hissed trying to make his stop

“But she refused an offer from the Wayne Enterprises saying this would be bad for her objectivity….”

“Really?” Tyler eyed her carefully and she involuntarily blushed under his gaze “This must have taken a hell lot of guts. Saying no to Wayne? I would love to hear more.”

“Shall we then?” Bernard took Tim’s arm and lead the way to the café the four friends were supposed to spend the evening.

*** meanwhile, at the batcave Jason was sitting in front of the computer searching for the information that would be of use to him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dick finally got to him, relieved his younger brother did not do anything stupid or crazy. Yet.

“I told you, I’m going to make it right.”

“By trawling Y/N’s bad dates from three years ago?!”

“Yes.”

“And then what? Beat them to death? Jason, come on, are you completely insane?!”

“They made a grave mistake of making her feel bad about herself. A one-time mistake.”

“I wonder why are you more bothered by it than she was. If I didn’t know you, I would say you care about ….”

“what? no.” Jay snorted “I just like a good fight that’s it. And it’s enough of a reason.”

“Since when do you need reason, Jaybrid?” Dick smirked and Jason finally turned from the screen to face his brother.

“Drop it, Dickhead.”

“Ok, fine, relax, I’m just saying that maybe there’s more to it then you think….”

“No girl would be disrespected if I can do anything about it! It’s not about Y/n! It’s about making sure that women in this fucking city can feel safe and not abused by some shitheads like those guys she met with. After I’m done with them, they would never say a bad word about any female ever!”

“Calm down, Jay. You don’t know about them. Maybe they have changed? Maybe there’s no need to get this violent and …..”

“I hate your attitude, Grayson. Take a look at this.” Jason pointed towards the screen “I managed to locate seven of the men she wrote about…..”

“What?! How!? Please don’t tell me you dragged Babs into this mess?”

“I joined voluntarily. “ familiar sound of wheelchair echoed through the cave and a few seconds later Barbara Gordon herself came into view “Hi, Dick.”

“I can’t believe it. “ Dick shook his head “This must me some crazy dream. You two working together?!”

“He has a point with this safety for woman rhetoric. Not every girl can protect herself like me or Steph or Cass of even Y/N. So if that means some men have to be taught a lesson I’m more than glad to participate. “

“I can’t…..”

“Ekhem.” Jason coughed impatiently cutting the exchange of words between Dick and Babs “As I was saying we managed to find some information about those guys. Seems like your arguments of their change and becoming better fails here, Dickhead. Just take a look yourself.

Dick sighed deeply and involuntarily raised his head to examine the findings.

“Wait. This is what you found?!”

Photos and extracts of newspaper titles were gleaming on the screen. Some of them coveting the subject of girls being used and dragged into brothels, some other about violent men beating their girlfriends, other about murder attempts.

“I don; think that is anything new in Gotham, but fine. I’ll help you.”

“No one asked you to, Grayson! Stay out of my way!”

“I can’t let you lose, Jay. You will wreak havoc on them.”

“That’s the whole point!”

“This is not….. Wait, what is it?”

A chime on the screen got the attention of three people and much to their surprise a picture of Y/N in a café with some guy popped in.

“Um, Babs? What filer did you use for your search?”

“Y/N’s name, obviously.” Barbara shrugged

“And is that why we are now watching her in a real-time during her date?”

“Most probably.”

“Over my dead body!” Jason hissed “I’m not letting her get hurt again.” and with such words he run out of the cave, in his civil clothes, not caring about anyone or anything else.

“It’s not about her, my ass” Dick smirked

“Aren’t you going to stop him? You were dead set on it a minute ago.”

“Yeah, but situation has changed. If he does something crazy or stupid Y/N will put him in his place better than I ever could. “

***

“…. And that was when all came running back apologizing for leaving the kettle on.” Tyler ended the joke and Bernard, Tim and Y/N laughed loudly.

For the last hour, he showed himself as a really caring, funny and nice guy with a hell lot of interest and intelligence beyond average. The way he was talking and asking questions about Y/N made her feel both surprised and valued as a person. He did everything to make her feel good and freely in his presence and she liked that. A lot.

“Told you it would be nice” Tim whispered to her, when Tyler excused himself to get some more beverages “It seems like you are warming up to him.”

“Shut it!” Y/N blushed a bit “he’s just so different from all the guys I know and it’s nice.”

“Guess you owe me thanks.” Tim grinned

“We’ll see about that.” She smiled back

“Not my place to judge, Y/N, but it’s been a while since I saw you this happy so….?”

“Are you two talking about me behind my back?” Tyler came back and laughed seeing Tim and Y/N whispering to each other like two gossiping friends in high school

“Obviously.” Y/N kept her cool “all the worst things. I mean, you are so kind and nice, there’s got to be some skeleton in your closet. “

“How about we get out of here so I can show it you?”

“Oh, aren’t you moving fast forward?” despite her best efforts Y/N could not hide the little tremble in her voice

“I’m just kidding, Y/n, relax. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s ok. Just …. Something from the past getting on the surface and clouding my judgement.”

“I’ll be sure not to trigger anything.” Tyler gently touched her hand and her eyes grew wide. That was a sign for Tim to get into action.

“I’ll take you on that offer to get out of here. It’s getting late anyway and we should head home. Busy day tomorrow, right Y/N?”

“What?” she needed a second to get back to reality. “Sure, sure. Busy day. We need to get ready.”

“Very well then. I’ll walk you home, Y/n.” Tyler stood up and once again reached an arm towards her and walking her out the café.

“Aren’t you staying at the manor, tonight? We might need your help with something……” Tim’s voice became a bit concerned.

“ Mhm. Sure, I’ll stay at the manor. From your question I assume you already got us a lift?”

“I did. It should be here soon. We just need to get to the usual picking point.”

“Picking point?” Tyler frowned, a bit confused and Bernard, who was already used to the bats and friends; terminology laughed.

“It’s the place where their driver pick them from” he explained “easy as it is.”

“All right then. I suppose this is goodbye for now?”

“For now?” Y/N asked

“I had a really nice time with you tonight, Y/N. I would love to see you again if you want to….”

“That… that would be nice. I guess. “

“I would call you, but I think it would be best to give you freedom in this area” God, why was he so nice “after all, it’s woman’s choice to give man a chance.” Once again he reached to her hand and with the gentlest of touches brought it to her lips and brushed his lips over it. At this point Y/N was close to fainting but before she could say a single word yelling of her name came from the other side of the street.

“Y/L/N!”

“Holy shit, what the fuck is he doing here? Tim!?”

“I have no idea, Y/N. I’m sorry. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. He’s going to eat you alive!”

“Wait. Who is this guy?” Tyler instinctively came in front of Y/N, covering her with his body “should we run away?”

“The real question is who the fuck are you and what are you doing with Y/L/N?!”

“Jay…..” Y/n’s voice was so cold that it would froze anyone else at the spot. Anyone but Jason Todd.

“Not a word Y/n.”

“Look, dude. I have no idea who you are, but you cannot just talk to her like that!” Tyler became way to defensive for his own good.

“Oh, really?! SO it happens, I am one of the people that protect woman in this city from the scumbags like you!”

“JASON!”

“I told you to keep quiet, Y/N. We are going home, now.”

“You are not the boss of me!” she yelled “I can go out with whoever I want!”

“Is that why you keep me out of your family?” Bernard leaned over to Tim and whispered in his ear.

“Mhm” Tim run a hand through his hair “guys, please don’t make a scene on the street. We all have good intentions here so how about we all calm down, huh?”

“You calm down, Drake. This is none of your business.”

“Actually…..”

“Tim’s right. Enough is enough. I’m sorry Tyler, I’m sorry you had to meet Jason like this. Apparently he is not himself today.” Y/N turned around to look straight into Jace’s face with mix of pain and reproach. “I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/n. I’m just sorry you are being treated like this. Call me?”

“Sure. I’ll call you” she smiled and with a single nod and murderous glance at Jason Tyler walked away chased by Bernard who already said his goodbyes to Tim.

“You really are gonna call him ?” Jason raised an eyebrow.”

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up Jason Todd.” Y/N’s hissed in the most calm voice she could “get into the car, we’ll talk at the manor.”

***

The way home was the most awkward one ever. There was unusual silence, tones of cold stares and palpable electricity running between Jason and Y/N. The second they reached the destination Tim run away from any possible fight between those two, but being found by Dick and Babs who expected explanations of what happened made his attempt futile.

At the same time Jason and Y/N barely made it to the living room when he started his anger fit.

“What the hell were you thinking!?” he yelled “didn’t you learn anything from the past? From all those guys who made you suffer and depreciated you?!”

“Jason.”

“What?! Why?! Why are you doing it again?! I hate seeing you sad, you know it! And this is how its going to end up!”

“Huh! Like you care at all.”

“I care about your sense of humor. Last time you were feeling under the dog I was stuck with Dick’s dad joke and it was a total disaster.”

“Of course, selfish as always.”

“Were you expecting anything else?”

“No. “

“Ditch this guy before he breaks you like everyone else before!”

“Fuck you, Jace! Tyler is a nice one, unlike many others I knew or…. know.” their gazes met and the fury and ice in her eyes made him shiver. Was that how she was seeing him? “And if it wasn’t for your interference I might actually have a chance with him. But now, he saw your worst side and maybe…. Maybe that will make him back off.”

“He’s not worth your time.”

“Then who is, Jace?! And why the hell are you interested in my love life all of a sudden? What is your problem, here? Tell me the truth.”

“I told you the truth!”

“Bullshit! You got a tell and I know you are hiding something! So what the fuck is this!”

“I want to protect you!”

“Pro…. Protect me?” she stuttered “from what?”

“The pain. The disappointment. All the bad feelings.”

“Jason” she sighed deeply, becoming calm “come here” Y/n patted a spot next to her on the couch “come on.” He approached her carefully “look at me. I don’t need you to protect me, all right? I’ve spend half of my life in a glass cage created by my parents. The walls of it being all the good intentions. Starting from you know nothing about life, you won’t make it on your own, we are trying to help you here, parents know better. Ugh! The worst thing was that I was listening and believing them for such a long time. It was years till I escaped and eradicated all the voiced inside my head, telling me that it would be better to run and hide. And I’ve lost so much during those years I was under the command. The realization of it still hurts me sometimes. ”

“Y/N….”

“Hush. Let me finish. I don’t want to go back there. Do you understand me?” he nodded “I can’t go back to hiding. And that is why I don’t need protection. I am perfectly capable of handling myself. “

“I just.. I just…..” Jace muttered

“I know.” Y/N smiled and squeezed his hand “ you want to be helpful. But that is not what I need from you, all right? I need your presence, your friendship, your bantering with me, your opinions and thoughts, but not this. I don’t want the aggressive, unhinged Jason. Can you promise me that?”

“I don’t think I can.” he looked down, unable to meet her honest gaze

“Good.” She chuckled

“What?” that was surprising.

“If you did promise me that, I would know you were dishonest. I know you are still fighting your demons, we all are and what you said just proved to me you are trying to be better but do not make empty promises. So thank you.”

“Oh, please. Don’t get all sappy on me. You know I hate that.”

‘So let go of my hand.” She pointed out raising their joined palms.

“Not yet.” He smirked “it’s the only way to keep you here and prevent you from calling that asshole”

“JASON PETER TODD!”

***

“How long do you think it will take them to realize?”

“given the way they communicate with each other might be years.”

“Don’t you think we should do something about it?”

“Do you have a death wish? If any of them finds out we were messing out with their lifes…..”

“I’m willing to take the risk. Come on, it will be fun.”

“You got very strange definition of the word, Grayson.”

“I knew I would lure you in, Timmy.”

“Don’t call me that!”

@pinksirensong @jasontoddsthickbabe

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captain-mj · 1 year ago

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Angels of Digitalism

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Roach hummed and messaged. “Want to come back to my place?”

Soap blushed immediately. “Sure. I’d love to.” He went to say something else before seeing the waitress grab the card, immediately pouting. “Are you sure you can pay for it?”

“She already has my card!” Roach shook his head, exasperated. “Don’t worry about it.”

Soap huffed but nodded. They went home together and Roach put his hand on Soap’s back and opened the door to the hotel room.

“Huh. What a gentleman.” That Scottish accent sounded sinful. Roach wanted to bite him.

They moved closer to each other and Roach trailed his fingers over Soap’s arm. Soap swallowed thickly.

“Drink?” Luckily the sign was pretty simple and it seemed Soap had already picked up on it because he responded.

“Yeah. Hope you don’t mind I’m picking, but you have Scotch?”

Roach turned around, staying rather close. His back temporarily pressed against Soap’s chest before he left to make him a glass. Two fingers. No ice because Roach hadn’t grabbed any from the ice machine lately.

They brushed hands when Roach set it in his hands. A bold part of him wanted to be bold. Sit in his lap. Something stupid and crazy that the shy person always did in fanfiction.

Instead, he tentatively sat next to him. He was a celebrity. Almost anyone would be throwing themselves at him. Instead the tension was just so high he felt like he could explode with it. Maybe he could try touching him. When Ghost wanted someone, he put his hand on their inner thigh and leaned in, putting all of their attention on him.

Maybe it would work on Soap?

Roach went to touch him but Soap perked up before he had a chance. “You have a nintendo? What games do you have?”

The man had his celebrity crush practically presenting to him on a silver platter and he wanted to play a video game.

They played six rounds of mario kart and Roach beat him every time. By a while.

“What the fuck.” Soap whispered to the second place spot on the screen.

Roach smiled at him and stuck his tongue out.

“You little.” Soap lunged at him, grabbing him and pinning him down. Roach gasped and immediately started laughing. He threw his head back and his mask came undone. Soap looked away immediately but Roach just slipped it off the rest of the way and dropped it on the floor. He grabbed Soap’s face and pulled him back to look at him.

The kiss was perfect. Tasted like Scotch. Soap had just a small amount of stubble that contrasted the soft feeling of his lips.

Roach pulled him in to deepen the kiss, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Soap’s tongue ran over his bottom lip and he quickly opened it to let him in.

The whole situation felt shockingly sensual. Soap had all of his attention so squarely on Roach. He pulled back to look over him, eyes lingering over his lips and then back up to his eyes.

His door clicked open and it was quite literally the worst moment of Roach’s entire life up until this point.

Ghost’s voice. Thick and rough and full of Manchester. “Hey, Gary. Hope you don’t mind I took you up on the offer to come over. Just…” He trailed off, awkwardly staring back at the two.

Maskless.

Ghost didn’t have his mask on.

All three of them realized at the same time but no one moved besides Soap who quickly covered his eyes.

“I didn’t see anything. Promise.”

Ghost grabbed his jacket and brought it up to his nose. “Sorry, Roach. Didn’t know you had company…”

Roach wanted to die. He wanted to explode and die. Yeah, he wanted to get over Ghost and this felt like divine punishment, but he didn’t want to shove this in the guy’s face.

Soap got up and pulled his jacket back on. “Maybe I should go. I am so sorry I….” He was gone before Roach could remind him that he drove them. Hopefully he could get an uber. Roach would paypal him some money later for the trip.

Ghost stood there, just staring.

A worse kind of tension.

Roach started to sign. “What made you come in here? Everything okay?”

“It’s nothing. I’m sorry for messing up your date.” Ghost turned around to leave.

Roach grabbed his sleeve and tugged him. He frowned up at him and signed again. “You alright?”

Ghost gently removed himself and his eyes crinkled like he smiled. Roach had a feeling he was faking it. “I’m fine. Don’t worry. I really am sorry for messing up your date.”

He left and Roach quietly cleaned up. He shot a message to Soap to make sure he got home safe and then went inside.

Ghost felt… Well. He certainly felt.

Seeing Roach with someone else was… new. Certainly. He tried to not feel upset over it. It was dumb to feel jealous of his best friend.

But it had to be him?? The cute artist Ghost was trying to flirt with? It was his fault for not saying something sooner. Plus, it was probably for the best. He didn’t want anything long term and this would make Roach happy.

As long as he would be happy.

Ghost went to work the next morning on his bike instead of riding with Roach. He showed up late so he could sit in the parking lot alone for a few minutes. The cigarette was nice. Good flavor and the smoke perked him up.

Then Soap was there. Coffees already in hand. “Wanted to get it before I came in today.”

Ghost looked at the coffee silently before sitting up. He turned around and put his hand on Soap’s chin, forcing him to look at him. “Listen to me careful.”

Soap’s eyes widened and he was blushed brightly. “Yes?”

“You treat Gary respectfully and like a person. I don’t care that he’s a celebrity. If you guys are going to go out, you’re going to treat him right.”

Soap blinked and gasped a little. He smiled, trying to recover from whatever epiphany he just had. “Of course. Yeah, I’ll treat him right for you.”

For me?

Ghost nodded. “Good. Ever catch you being a dick, I’ll snap you in half.”

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littlelalu · 3 months ago

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Bookstore | Ben Plunkett (Milo Manheim)

The wind picked up as I walked down the street to a small bookstore. It looked like a storm was coming—dark clouds, wind, and slight thunder. I hope I don’t catch the rain until I get there. I just desperately needed some time away from my family. My parents and I moved here about 2 weeks ago, and they have been with me almost every second I am home. I haven’t made friends, so the only option I have is to go alone to places, or with my parents.

After following Siri's directions on my phone, I found the bookstore. The bell above the door chimed softly as I entered. As I started to explore the place, all I could think was, “Wow. This place looks like a maze!”. Shelves towered high, crammed with books waiting to be discovered. I may have found my favorite place to go on a Friday night.

Lost in my thoughts, I rounded a corner and collided with someone. I looked up and saw a tall guy whose brown eyes looked worried.

“Oh my gosh. I-I'm so sorry.” He stuttered, still looking guilty.

“It’s fine. It was my fault too. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” I said with a shy smile. He smiled back. He’s cute.

Before he could say anything else, a girl showed up beside him. Maybe his girlfriend? Not sure.

“Did he bump into you? I am sorry about him. He’s too clumsy.” She laughed

I giggled. The guy playfully rolled his eyes at her.

“I’m Maddie. This is my best friend, Ben!” She said, pointing at him.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” I said shyly.

Maddie’s phone began to ring. “Oh, I’m sorry, I gotta take this. It's Graham.” She said, She quickly went outside to take a call.

“So... Y/N… Are you new here?” He asked awkwardly.

“Yeah. I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.” I replied with a smile.

“Well…. Welcome to Seattle. It’s not the best, but you’ll get used to it,” he said, making me laugh.

“Ha-ha, I’ll try. Do you come here often? I asked him.

“Yes. Maddie and I come here every Friday. Then we catch a movie and eat some waffles after.”

“Sounds like fun!” I said. Maddie came back inside.

“Graham needs me. I must go. I’m so sorry." She said to Ben.

"Maddie, you’re going to blow off our plans?” Ben asked

“Just today, I promise.” She looked at me and then back at Ben. “Maybe Y/N can keep you company today.” She said, winking at Ben and me.

I saw Ben’s cheeks turn a slight shade of pink.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Maddie said as she left the bookstore.

Ben looked at me with a nervous smile. “Okay… Umm... Y/N. I do have a question for you that I wanted to ask. Do you want to hang out with me tonight? If you want to, of course. As new friends, nothing else. Only if you’re okay with it.“ He said nervously.

“I would love to, Ben. What would you like to do?” He smiled when I agreed.

“Great. Do you want to go to the movies, or are you hungry now?”

“I am hungry. I haven’t had dinner yet, and it's almost 8.” I said.

“Oooo you should try the place Maddie and I go to for waffles. It’s delicious.”

“I’m down. Lead the way.”

We headed out of the store. He took me to the blue car that he parked in front of the bookstore. He went to the passenger’s side first to open the door for me. “Get in, malady.” He gestured to the seat.

I laughed at his gesture. “Thank you, kind sir.” He smiled.

He jogged over to his side and got in. He plugged in his phone. “Do you want to listen to anything in particular?”

“Nah. You pick.”

I saw him go on Spotify and click one of his playlists. The first song that played was “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” by Fall Out Boy.

I gasped. “Oh my gosh. Do you like Fall Out Boy?”

“Um Duh! Who doesn’t? I saw them last year when they played at the local arena. They are one of my favorite bands.”

“Be careful making wishes in the dark-dark. Can't be sure when they've hit their mark,” I began singing.

“And besides, in the mean-meantime I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart,” Ben continued.

We laughed and continued talking about our love for the band for the rest of the 15-minute car ride.

Ben pulled up to a corner restaurant called ‘Deacon’s Corner’. It had a classy dinner vibe to it.

He parked his car and turned it off. “I got your door.” He got out and came to my side to open the door. He stuck out his hand to help me out.

I grabbed his soft hand. “Thanks, Ben. You’re such a gentleman.”

“I try to be." He winked at me and smiled.

He guided me to the entrance and picked a table out for us. I sat across from him.

“So, besides waffles, what else do you recommend?” I asked.

He thought about it for a second. “Their cheeseburgers, for sure. Want me to order you that? I have to place our order with the cashier,” he said, pointing to the lady at the bar.

“Yes! Can I also get some fries and a Dr. Pepper? Please and thank you.”

He nodded. Ben got up and went up to order.

I have never gone out with a guy alone. It’s not a date, but still. I don’t know how to act or what to talk about. I just met him!

My thoughts were interrupted when Ben came back to our table.

“She said it will be about 20 minutes.” He said.

“That’s fine,” I said.

Ben and I proceeded to tell each other more about ourselves. The more I looked at him as he talked, I realized his stutter wasn’t there as much, nor was he shy anymore. He seemed more chill and happier. When the food came, we switched the topic of talking about our lives to our favorite things like music, shows, books, etc. He is very nerdy, which I love because we have a lot in common.

“Wow, Y/N. You are honestly amazing. I am glad I met you tonight. You made it even better.” He said, acting shy again.

I felt myself blushing slightly. “Same goes for you.” I looked at my phone, and it was 10:30 p.m. “Oh my. It’s getting late. I should head home soon.”

“Let me go pay first.” He said.

“How much was my half?” I asked

“Don’t worry about it. I got you.”

“Ben, no! Let me help you, please."

“Nah. You already made my Friday night better anyway," he said and got up to go pay.

He came back, and we headed out back to the car.

I gave him my address so that he could take me home. We jammed out again for the next 10 minutes until we got to my house.

“Thank you for tonight, Ben. This was probably the first day that I had fun since I got here.” I laughed slightly.

“No problem, Y/N. Thanks for keeping me company last minute.” He joked.

“Hahaha. You’re welcome. Bye, Ben,” I said as I got out the door.

I was beginning to make my way to my front door when I heard a car door shut. I turned around, and it was Ben.

“Y/N wait!” He said and walked over to me.

I looked up at his brown eyes. “Yes?”

He sighed. “Umm... I-I have never felt so comfortable with someone this fast. I can easily talk to you. I enjoyed being with you.” He looked nervous and was blushing again. “So... I l-like you and wanted to know if, umm maybe you wanted to go out again sometime? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I don’t want to ruin what we have. As friends, of course! I am sorry I didn’t mean – “

“Ben, it's fine. I like you too. I would love to go out with you again,” I said as I cut him off from his rambling.

“Really?” He asked.

I smiled and nodded. He took his phone out for me to put my number in. I handed the phone back to him.

“Good night, Y/N,” he said.

“Good night, Ben,” I said. He pulled me into a hug. He smelled great. His cologne made me instantly melt.

As we pulled away, I looked up at him again, and he looked down at me. Our gazes made me get butterflies in my stomach. It felt like the world stopped around us and it was just us two. He put one hand on my cheek, leaned down, and kissed me. I kissed back almost instantly. His soft and warm lips are on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hands moved down to my waist. He pulled away after a minute (or two), leaving my lips wanting more.

Our arms are still around each other. Just looking at each other with a goofy smile. “I have been wanting to do that but wasn’t sure if it would ruin things between us.” He said.

“It was the perfect moment,” I said with a wink.

He smiled big. “I’ll see you soon, Y/N. Bye,” he said and kissed my cheek.

“See you soon, Ben,” I said and walked into my house.

I quickly walked over to my living room window to see him leave. Ben walked back to his car, happily pumping his fists in the air. I giggle seeing him do so.

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Note: Hello again :) I rewatched Prom Pact again and loved seeing a geeky and awkward Milo Manheim character. Have a good night everyone :)

#ben plunkett #disney zombies #milo manheim fan fiction #milo manheim #ryan baker #school spirits #wally clark #zed necrodopolis #prom pact #dancing with the stars

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hannahssimblr · 11 months ago

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Chapter Eleven (Part 2)

The thunderstorm is in full power outside by the time the party reaches its crescendo. Rain beats violently against the windows, and lightning forks across the sky. The sounds of Creedence Clearwater and The Zombies drown out the thunder, but still, I could swear that I can feel it vibrate through my bones. I’ve never been so close to a storm in my life, and as I gaze out of the window, blurry with rain to the flashes in the sky, I have a wild desire to be alone with it. I take a cursory glance around and hope nobody is watching me as I dash up the metal staircase to the next floor.

The lights are off on the upper floor, and as I wander into a room off the hallway, which happens to be a bathroom, I find myself pausing at the window to stare out at the sky. It is magnificent. It’s terrifying. I want to run from it as much as I want to stand beneath it and let the rain soak my clothes to my skin. I climb into the bath just so that I can sit on the rim and watch the sky, and lose all sense of how long I sit for. Long enough to hear the muffled chorus of “Zum Geburtstag Viel Glueck” through the floor. Long enough for the edge of the tub to dig uncomfortably into my legs. Long enough to get the urge to look for this fabled painting studio. I leave the bathroom and make my way back down the hallway, peering into darkened rooms as I pass them, feeling as though I’m doing something against the law.

I crack open the door to Leon’s photography studio after trying several others, and walk inside. I glance around at the equipment, all of the cameras and their lenses. Tripods, different kinds of lighting, the large, white backdrop that’s hung against one wall. What a luxury it must be to have a space like this in your home. I hardly dare to touch any of it, only gently brushing my index finger over the cool metal of one lens, when a deep voice almost makes me rattle out of my skin.

“I’d a feeling I’d find you snooping around somewhere.” Jude stands in the doorway, and my heart kicks into high gear. “Fuck sake.” I wheeze. “You snuck up on me.”

“Sorry.” He says, and steps inside to wander slowly around and look at all of the same things I was looking at.

I brush invisible lint off my clothes, just to have something to do with my hands, and look him over briefly. “It’s very weird to see you in a suit like that.” I remark. “All cleaned up with your hair combed back.”

“Freaky, is it?”

“A bit.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, you look very nice. At least one of us has managed to.”

“I look absolutely mad, it’s alright to say it.”

“She did look a bit mad though, didn’t she? I think you pulled it off fairly well.” He approaches the shelf of cameras and pulls one off, and I say with alarm, “You shouldn’t touch the cameras.”

“It’s fine.” He grins. “It’s my camera.”

“How’s it yours?”

“I come here to photograph my work. Leon has the best setup. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“Really?”

“Yes! I swear.” He laughs. “I feel like you don’t believe me.”

“Well, I do.” I say hesitantly. I nod towards the Canon in his hands. “Are you going to take a photograph of me or something?”

“Would you like me to?”

“If you’d like to.”

“Okay, I’d like to.” With his free hand he hauls a wooden bench into the centre of the backdrop and motions for me to sit on it. Then he fiddles with a few of the studio lights to make sure he’s got it set up the way he likes it.

“What should I do?” I ask him.

“You can just relax.” He suggests. “Maybe rest your foot against the bar of the stool, yep, like that, and your hands in your lap. Okay, yeah, just look at me.”

“I’m looking at you.”

“I know, good job.” He snaps a series of photographs while I sit there, stiff as a board. I don’t really know how to relax in front of a camera, I never have. “Maybe a smile?” He proposes.

“Like this?” I tug the corners of my mouth upwards, and feel twice as awkward in doing so. He nods. “Kind of. You don’t need to grimace like that.”

“I’m not grimacing. This is my smile.”

“That’s not your smile, darling. You don’t smile like that.”

A giggle escapes my lips. “What did you just call me?”

He blinks. “I don’t know. What did I say?”

“Darling. As in, lil darlin’” I laugh again, mostly at my abysmal attempt at an American accent, and he rolls his eyes. “That’s not my accent.”

“It is! Ye Haw.”

“Get a grip.” He snickers from behind the lens. “I could easily do a horrible impression of you and see how you feel about it.”

“Do it then.”

His eyebrow quirks up and so does the corner of his mouth. “Jude!” He cries in an accent-perfect midlands soprano. “Did you eat all of the crisps? You’re so greedy. And get your horrible foot away from my back, you’re actually the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

My mouth drops open and I insist that it sounds nothing like me, even though it absolutely does.

“Yeah right.” He says.

“You’ve been practising that in the mirror or something, you creep. You’re obsessed with me.”

“You’re obsessed with me.” He mimics and I almost take off my chunky sandal to toss it at him, but I’m startled by a sudden clap of lighting that slashes across the sky right outside the window, so close that it hits a rod on the building across the street. I snap to look. “Oh my God, wow!”

“Yeah, holy shit, wow.” He says, “I got a photo of that.”

“Of the lightning?”

“No of you looking at it.” He lifts the camera to look at the last batch. “I think these are good.”

“Are they?”

“Yeah, look.” He comes over to show me a series of photos from that quick moment, a flash of white over my face as my mouth falls open in a gasp, eyes wide with wonder. I look stunned, and thrilled, and kind of pretty. Then he scrolls back and shows me more of myself, of me smiling and laughing and pulling faces at him, and they must be the most relaxed photographs of myself that I’ve ever seen.

“Oh.” I whisper. “I like those a lot.I wish I looked like that all of the time.”

“Yeah, I like them too.” He says, “And actually, you do. That’s just how you look to me.” and in that small moment his gaze feels weighted, so much so that goosebumps erupt on my arms as though there’s an electrical current moving beneath my skin. I feel him watching my face, but meeting his eyes feels risky, it’s always felt a bit risky, because I want him so badly that sometimes it makes it hard to breathe. I fear that too much time spent looking at him might drive me to start doing the sorts of things I know I will spend time regretting.

I slide off the seat and wander out of the room.

“Where are you going?” He wants to know.

“To find the art studio.” I reply.

“It’s the next room.” He follows close behind me, and it’s impossible not to feel his presence, even when I can’t see him in the dark hallway. He opens the studio door and I slip in under his arm.

I don’t bother flipping the switch, because the light from outside is enough to allow a blue glow through the huge windows and over the floor. It’s so quiet that I can hear my heart in my neck and my ears. I walk over to the window and stare out over the place where his easel is facing, and through the wet and smears of the glass it’s difficult to see much but blurry lights, but still, I can make out the outline of a row of beautiful old buildings below. A cluster of trees, a castle, which I picture in the heat of summer sunshine, and a lump rises in my throat, because I want a place like more than almost anything. All my fantasies of my life and how it might turn out have included a studio just like this. With these canvases, these easels, these organised racks of paints, and brushes, halfway finished work, destined to be completed another day. I look at it all and I think I might start crying, because it feels like I’ve stepped into a fantasy that will never, never ever turn into reality.

“What are you thinking about?” Jude says softly after several moments, and his footsteps tread lightly behind me. I don’t look around at him. My voice is thick. “About how much I like this studio.”

“It’s pretty spectacular. And the view.”

“Yes, the view is nice. Although, I’m sure it’s nicer when it isn’t raining so much.”

“I like it like this too.” He comes to a stop next to me, and I feel him there, almost touching me, but not. I pat the corner of my eye with the pad of my finger and continue to look out at the sky. “I think that you could have something like this someday.” He says to me, “I think that if you want something really badly you can find a way to have it.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“Hm.”

He waits for me to look at him, and I am afraid to. “Evie,” He says, voice soft.

“Yeah?”

“Can you-”

I look. “What?”

He doesn’t tell me what. He leans into me and brushes his nose gently against mine before kissing me. Once, so lightly, as if testing that I want it. Twice. He draws back and our gazes mesh, and the third time he angles his head and takes my lower lip between his, and my body goes weak. I forgot what it was like to kiss him, in all of his wildness, abandon, and overconfidence, how the stroke of his lips over mine makes me lose all sense of myself and forget who I am.

I wind my fingers into his hair and pull him closer to me, and he holds my head in his hands, and he is perfect and I am lucky, so lucky to be here with him now as the thunder rumbles and the rain pelts against the windows, and his body is warm and his mouth is hot and it feels somehow more dangerous to be in here with him than it would to stand in the path of lightning.

He deepens the kiss, just as I clutch onto him tighter, and the feeling inside me turns desperate. I deserve this, I’ve loved him forever, and I can have this selfish moment if I want it. Maybe I don’t have to tell anyone about it, maybe we’re the only ones that need to know. I let him touch my body and make promises with his mouth and his hands that he can give me all of the things that I want the most, the things I’m too afraid to admit to wanting, the things I shouldn’t. I let myself feel the terror of him taking those things away from me as easily as he can give them to me, and I chase those feelings away with my lips and my tongue as I press into him and tug his lip between my teeth.

He breaks away for a moment while his eyes travel over my face as if looking for a sign that he should stop but I’m not ready for him to. I’ve been waiting years for this, so when he draws my waiting mouth to his again I arch my body into him and encourage him with eager little sounds that seem to knock the air out of him. His hands are trembling yet insistent as they come to seize my hips tightly and pull me against his, hard, so that I can feel him wanting me, but then suddenly, as though I’ve remembered who I am again, my hands grab his wrists in a steel, reflexive grip, and I take a step away from him. He seems confused, and takes an instinctive step towards me as I move away, unable to compute that I have stopped kissing him. I place my hand on his chest to block him.

“We can’t.”

He looks hurt. “Why?”

I stare at him incredulously. “Because of Astrid, obviously.”

His eyes skate across my face, confusion turning to panic as he swallows convulsively. “But I’ve broken up with her now.” He says. “Didn’t you know that?”

“No, I didn’t know that. When?”

“After Christmas.”

My brain feels like it’s functioning at a fraction of its capacity. “So, like, six weeks ago.”

“Yes!”

“After you bled all over my house.”

“It’s the first thing I did when I got back, I thought-”

“And you didn’t think to mention it at any point?” I turn away from him and catch sight of myself in the black window, and I look wild, hair out of place, lipstick completely gone and a bright blush across my cheeks. How long were we kissing?

Jude’s reflection stares at mine. “We’ve been out of touch.” He says. “We could never find a moment to call one another, Evie, I wanted to tell you, but there just wasn’t the right time, you were always in a rush, or I was too busy, and then, I dunno, I suppose after a while I started assuming that you’d heard it through the grapevine.”

“The grapevine.” I repeat, glaring at him. “What’s the grapevine? Shane Healy’s mouth? What on earth would he tell me that for? He doesn’t even tell me how his mother is.”

He spears a hand into his hair. “I’m sorry, I should have tried harder to tell you about it, but I didn’t want to scare you off, or make you think that it was your fault or something. Maybe I was in my head too much, but sending a random text to you on a Tuesday being like ‘So I broke up with Astrid’ seemed a bit too purposeful, a bit like I expected something from you. I don’t know.”

Ripples of fear and longing travel over my skin. “Well, did you break up with her because of me?”

His expression is tortured. “We were doing badly for a long time. We broke up over a year ago, firstly, because I was being a shit, and I couldn’t give her what she needed, and then after a few months we got back together, but it was always rocky from there, it never felt right, we always fought, in the end it just felt inevitable, and, well…” He trails off.

“And?” I prompt.

“And I… yeah, I had feelings for someone else.”

“For me.” The words don’t come out, exactly. I end up just mouthing them.

“Come on, Evie, I’ve always liked you. You know that. I always wondered about you when we were apart, I always thought about what would’ve happened if I’d never left. When I saw you again and I still felt all those things, well, honestly it felt a bit insane to be with someone else. Even last year, when we weren’t talking, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. All the time, like, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you. Every time I saw someone who reminded me of you, or something that I knew that you’d laugh at, I knew that the things I felt about Astrid weren’t the same, it wasn’t right, nor was it fair, so I ended things.”

“But then you got back together?” I glare at him.

“Yeah, I had a bad year, stuff happened with Jen, I felt isolated, I felt like shit, and then I met Astrid again at a party and…” He shrugs. “She was familiar, and I still had feelings for her so it just felt like a normal thing to do. Our breakup seemed kind of stupid for a while. Honestly, I was wondering what had gotten into me when I did it, and then I saw you again, and…” he trails off. “Well, I thought that you felt the same way as I do.”

I take a deep breath, palms tingling. “This is a lot to take on.” I say.

“I know.”

“I can’t help but think about how I’m just another one of your single friends, and now that you’re lonely-”

“It’s not like that at all.”

“But this is just what you do, you kiss your friends just because you can.” I don’t know why I’m saying these things, because every word appears to have the same effect on him as if I were slapping him in the face, but I can’t stop them from pouring out. Perhaps I just want him to disprove them or to validate me, or convince him that only foolish men like girls like me. He’s too clever for this.

“That was when I was a teenager. I’m an adult man now and this isn’t just an experiment. I’m in love with you” He says. “and like, for some reason you think that nobody in their right mind could ever love you, but I do. I really do. I can’t ever get you out of my head, I just think about how much I want you every time I look at you, and how scared I am of what I feel about you, but I love you. Not in a friend way. In an ‘I want you to be my girlfriend’ kind of way, and I can’t imagine wanting that with another person, with, like, anybody but you, and it’s not because I’m single and I’m lonely or that you’re in some way convenient to me, I loved you when I had Astrid and when you had Dean, but the time was never right, and now I think that it could be, so why not just… see?”

He stands there, completely vulnerable, and waits for me to say something to him, but I can’t. My mind is swirling with ancient insecurities, ones buried deep in my psyche, the ones that I never let out of me because they batter my self-confidence, smash it to pieces and remind me that I’m not enough for him, even if he foolishly believes that I am. I will disappoint him. What happens if I tell him that I feel the same? Where do we go from there? How do I be his girlfriend, how do I do the things he wants me to do? What? Hold his hand in public and have all of his friends think about how he left a six foot tall goddess for someone like me, have them say amongst themselves that he really downgraded and wonder what it is that’s so special about Evie Kilbride when he could have anybody. They’ll all learn, as he will eventually, that I have nothing to offer but failed promises and unfulfilled expectations, and joke later about that big mistake he made once while he holds another beauty queen in his arms. I think of that summer day in Kelly’s mobile home, and how she stared at me with amused contempt, as though the idea of him ever wanting me was hilarious because I’ll never be able to impress him, or give him the things he wants and expects from a girl. I won’t know how to be. I will ruin this like I’ve ruined everything else, and I will be the biggest mistake he’s ever made.

“My God, Evie, please say something.” He says desperately.

“Did you tell Astrid that you broke up with her because of me?”

He stares at me like I’m crazed. “What?”

“Does she know about how you feel?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” He drags a trembling hand through his hair and it all tumbles forward, free of the hold of the styling gel. “I’m not sure why that’s important to you at this moment.”

“She doesn’t seem to like me.”

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#lucky girl part 3 #this is the one #the most dramatic chapter #i love this moment so much

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