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#Imagine if i went into elysium after death thinking “how do i properly conclude my character arc”
mcybree · 2 months
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Im doing a lot of thinking abt why roleplaying feels different/less natural for me in beastlife s4 in comparison to s3, and i think it’s because there’s ways i know i should be feeling (based on the perception of my character— when i was fresh out of s2 nobody knew enough about my guy to have opinions) vs how i am feeling. I’m catching myself thinking, “it wouldn’t make sense for my character to [blank],” and it’s like… what do i mean by that. what do i mean that this feeling im having in-session “wouldnt make sense for my character” to feel? It might be surprising to other beasts who know me for one thing and expect consistency, i guess?? but in s3 i just acted on feelings and then shit happened. what. why am i trying to enforce a character that does not exist when the strength of mcrp lies in its improvisational nature. I didn’t write this guy on purpose, why am i trying to write him now
#i suppose its both the perception + higher investment from myself#I care about this story greatly now#and want it to be “good”. But there’s only so much control i have over that#Its not my job to break down the themes of the narrative and try my best to make it cohesive im here to play games and dramatics#My favorite mcrp narratives werent written on purpose. they literally just happened naturally#Imagine if i went into elysium after death thinking “how do i properly conclude my character arc”#And not “This will probably land us a conclusion. lets ball”#I think there’s also more pressure because my character is universally seen as a bad guy now so im like. ohh#What if i make him too sympathetic on accident and everyone thinks im weird irl about it#Bitch youre roleplaying with cubes. who give a fuck……#sorry for posting like you people know what im talking about btw#But i also just think mcrp is rlly interesting#beastlife#<- i guess. I use it as an organizational tag but its funny that there’s a “maintag” now#Still using it for organization though idgaf#Unrelated but I got a good scott ask earlier today in my drafts that i just remembered#The forgetter#Ftr i think its good to be somewhat narratively aware but the way i typically do it is in an entertainer sense#and not a serious serious mode writing sense. i am much more comfortable with one of these over the other#which would be why playing s4 feels a bit unnatural for me at times#not to say people who do go into mcrp with this mindset are like. wrong. it just does not work for me i think
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