#sorry for venting in the tags dont mind me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ursaspecter · 2 years ago

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Idk what it is about playing red dead that fills me with such YEARNING. Like I wanna go camping. I want a horse. I want to wander the wilderness even though my suburbanite ass wouldn't last a day out there on my own. And don't even get me started on the transmasc yearning. Like do I want to be with Arthur or do I just want to be him?

#shut up casey #rdr2 #i know how arthur feels about wanting to go back west bc god me too #after just riding around new austin at golden hour as john i want to take arthur there so bad #but i cant :( and it makes me sad :(#and the gender thing GOD the gender thing #having a crisis rn if ive actually been a man this whole time and ive just been lying to myself about being agender #cuz like i dont feel like a man? nor do i feel like i would be happier identifying as one #but then a character like arthur comes along and like. his brand of masculinity is so... i want that. i want to be masculine like that #but its hard being short and soft and curvy and my voice is high pitched and annoying #i feel like if i tried to present more masc than i do now i'd just look stupid.#le sign #sorry for venting in the tags dont mind me #might disable reblogs on this later idk

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sketchy-tour · 1 year ago

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I can't see you. Do you see me? 👁️👁️

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deoidesign · 5 months ago

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I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

#I dont talk about having eds cause its not specifically really relevant to my work #been diagnosed with it since 17. woag 10 years next april...#anyways. yeah idk I like the blog to be about my art and I'm used to people asking me a LOT of questions about EDS or disability or canes #just a lot of stuff unrelated to my art. I'm happy to talk about it but I don't want it to be the focus of my blog!#So I've p much chosen to mostly just. not talk about it. even though I'm literally fine talking about it #it's just rarely relevant and no one needs to know LOL #but. I also know that EDS can feel very lonely #and that it's really nice to know other people out there have it #so. hi anon you're not alone #also just in case. literally don't feel bad about anything in the tags here LOL #mostly just like 'please people do not start sending me asks about whether or not you should go to the doctor'#or asks about ableist family members #or venting about pain...#just a lot of invasive and boundary crossing asks the more I talk about it hahahah #but I don't mind sharing at all.#sorry I think I lost the plot on this one #good luck on your journey. starting to accomodate yourself does wonders #and really just extremely happy my work could reach you in this way #sending you love #asks #anon

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rolex-kaard · 2 months ago

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it's actually so stupid

#vent in tags sorry about this #like.#fuck im so mad #like being in fandoms for me feels like #im on the floor with everyone playing toys right. having a great time #and everyone has blocks #i look around and everyone is assembling structures with their blocks and its so cool!! this is so fun #but i dont do anything with my blocks. they dont make sense. i can't comprehend how to stack them on top of each other.#and its fine until im reminded that i dont have a tower of blocks #i dont know #like fuck im so fucking mad purely at myself #that i cant analyze media in the way i see people do. that i dont have headcanons. that i dont have ocs as well #its so fucking frustrating #and i know i know i don't have to do any of that and it's okay ! and maybe it will come with time !#but i want that i want to stack my fucking blocks!#and its been like- four years or so of this same shit im so MAD #it doesnt come!!#and yes i have ocs but do i do shit with them?#can i answer a simple question about any one of them?#fuck no #i regularly cry or almost cry about this im so sick of it #um. kouka if youre reading this i dont mind your ask or anything genuinely im happy for interaction hello yay #yeah sorry guys i dont think ive ever made a tumblr ventpost i just got reallyy upset #live kaard reaction

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mushed-kid · 2 months ago

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#vent #tw suicide #train wreck tags guys dont read #i HATE MYSELFFFFF I LITERALLY HATE MYSELF IM TWEAKINGGGGGGG WTFFFF TWFT WTFTWTTFFFFFFF I HATE MYSELF #I WISH I HAD A GUN #OH MY GOD #do i have to.#uhhggghhhd be me #i dont want to die. but i definitely dont want to live #and realisticly. how would i even pull that off. they dont sell guns at grocery stores here unfortunately. fortunately. idk #do i always have to be like this.#its fucking constant bro like give me a break #and i just cant stop making it worse idk why i thought it would be fine like i dont have self control at all i cant stop my bad habits #can i lock in #im sick of this guy (me)#its like theres three people but theyre all me and they all disagree with each other #nothing ever makes sense #i change my mind like a girl changes clothes #<HotnCold KatyPerry yk #stupid #I CANT STOP CRYIJGNGNBGB CHILLLLLL #sorry i think im maybe mentally unstable idk tho

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nightfuryblue19 · 2 months ago

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aaaaaa

#this is becoming a realy bad issue ruining my life but i cant talk to anyone about it :(#even just it in the wild drives me crazy its so bad ...idk where to go about it #uggh...it really sucks. it sucks so bad. like i literally cannot do anything about it. even if i were to have someone i trust enough to #talk to about it its just so fucking...i cant tell anyone...SO im gonna be vague about it sorry x_x i know ppl get so curious #sorry im venting in the tags because i feel bad making an actual post #not like it changes anything lmao but it makes me feel better #i feel really bad venting on here but its kind of comforting. i wont do it again..or..often #i wish icould fix this. one tiny thing and it sends me into this like...spiral. it sucks. it sucks. its so embarrassing #its making my life a hell i try to avoid it as much as possible luckily its easy to avoid but when i come across it it HITS me #it hits me. like right now. i hate it. and it hits me and it makes me realize how bad it really is and it takes up my mind for hours #like seriously? out of every problem i could have why is it this lol #i wish i knew what was wrong with me.. i dont think its normal..but oh well #sorry for venting im fine ill try to not do it again or at least go in depth like this. its just. ruining my life i have to get it out-#-in some way even if its vague like this. i dont know if this makesm e feel better even #i think im pmsing lol which probably makes it a bit worse so im fine #venting on tumblr is so embarrassing but i just. no one i trust i can talk to about this. this is all i got #sorry for clogging ur dash lol #i wish i was normal -_-#thunder roars

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xxlethal-lunaxx · 10 months ago

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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.

#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd #cptsd vent #complex ptsd #diet culture trauma #monsters inside me #toxic health culture #ex vegitarian/vegan #emotional flashbacks #health documentaries #dark side of veganism #i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not #-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the #-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk #tw diet culture #tw vent in tags #(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)

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beastking-golion · 2 years ago

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Finished my run of Mortum’s romance and.

#full spoilers in these tags here my guys #fhr #fallen hero retribution #fhr spoilers #fallen hero retribution spoilers #okay so 1. love this gal she’s so awesome and knowing she vented to her friend about our dumbass decisions makes me weirdly happy #you are so girlboss mortum #anyways 2. shes so lovey dovey and the fact she takes the time to keep you comfortable first is sooooo ❤️#her specifically getting cozy with you only after establishing you’re comfortable is so sweet of her #dont ��bar is on the floor’ me btw because I have another piece to that in why it makes me so emotional #gonna talk about dubious consent here for a second so BIG warning okie? okie.#3. the scene after you reveal yourself as a regene to her and she asks why you had sex with her and you explain how you do things-#for humans because that’s what you were built to do meaning you acted for her desires not your own meaning she ‘pushed’ you into doing it #that was so devastating and I mean specifically for her as someone who clearly values consent a shit ton #yes you may have liked it but you did it cause you thought it would make her happy not because you wanted it like oh my god that hurts #she prolly understands regenes at least to some sort of degree shes a smart well connected woman so learning your bf is actually a regene-#has gotta have so many cogs and questions and worries shooting through her mind #you were made to serve humans you were controlled and abused by doctors like her you clearly fear her to some aspect #its heart breaking because of how much love she shows you and how much love she just has in general even as a villain #sorry yall I just can’t stop thinking about that scene like that had to have been so harrowing for her #it’s not your fault mortum you literally couldn’t have known even if you tried because our ass is so secretive #but it felt like it left off on a hopeful note #you both understand things so deeply about each other now and you can rebuild #start over and try again in a better safer way #one where you’re honest with her #AAWASG TH GFHFHFNGN it was really good it was so good #love that gal mortum so much #built out of love and vinegar she’s so awesome sauce #and with that I’ve played all the fhr2 romances #I can’t decide which romance is my favorite but I know which is my least (and it’s not my bbg mortum love ya)

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medicasino · 2 years ago

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ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever

#blaire.txt #vent incoming sorry ik this is probably really annoying #and im also sorry if this comes off insensitive or ''i have it SO hard'' i dont mean to be like that #but just. no matter how my identity rolls out i always feel like an imposter in some way #when i ided as a lesbian i already knew i was nonbinary and despite my yearning to experience it; i never knew and will never experience #being a lesbian and a binary woman. and ofc when i ided as a nonbinary lesbian was during that whole bullshit ''nonbinary people cant be #lesbians'' debate that resurfaced so that didnt fucking help #but im not a lesbian im bi so that was easy i guess. or easier #not being binary or very knowledgeable on queer history (tbh i want to change this im not proud of that) and having not participated in #many pride events and queer spaces irl (due to uh. yunno. Covid lol)#has like really made me feel like an imposter that just doesnt fit in anywhere #and now coming to terms with me being transmasc and having a strong attraction towards men and nonbinary folks has really uh. shaken things #up #and not fully in a good way bc its left me scrambling to put together the pieces #its left me in sooooooooooooo much distress i feel like so sick over it #its. not fun. esp bc im still pre-op so very girlish in appearance and voice eugh #and on top of that im also still nonbinary and do feel more neutral/androgynous some days and also consider myself gnc bc i like feminine #clothes and stuff so like. AUGH! and im also fucking 5'1-2 so no matter if i bind or get top surgery or etc i dont think ill ever pass as #not a girl so . pain!#and even saying all that makes me feel guilty bc its like. is that just internalized misogyny? am i misogynistic for feeling this way? and #IK IN MY RATIONAL MIND THATS BULLSHIT AND THIS IS *ONLY* ABT ME NOT OTHER TRANSMASCS AND NBLMS/MLMS TO BE CLEAR #im just an anxious mess with ocd and anxiety in general that just loooooooooooves latching onto bullshit like this to prove im predatory or #weird. also other ocd themes dont fucking help?#idk ill shut up now i need to be on a call but just like. its painful bc i dont feel like i fit into any queer communities lol #this also applies to disability stuff but im NOT cracking that can of worms open today sorry #ok gopdbye for now . responses are ok btw but also no pressure im kinda just emptying my head lol #vent #rant #ask to tag

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flyingspicerack · 2 years ago

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mm...

#i think maybe i should take a break from tumblr...#idk... i feel like im becoming a little bit too obsessive #like with everything... with everyones image of me and with everyone and with .... idk im starting to ...#im starting to obsess over every little interaction with everyone i desire to be closer to #and thats... not healthy... ive spend so much time recently worried about if the people i want to be friends with even really like me #and i know they do theyve said as much but ... even with that im still feeling left out and i dont want to feel like that #not that i AM being left out but my brain making me feel as if i am ... and im not sure how to change it other than maybe taking a step bac #im sorry if theres anyone ive made uncomfortable with my interactions #i tend to be very.... forward once someone is nice to me and i dont realize im being too annoying or overbearing so im really sorry if ive #done that to you im really really sorry #so if you dont see me around for a few days this might be why #im still... not sure if ill fully leave but....#idk if you read this and i HAVENT been overbearing and annoying id really like some reassurance that i havent been ... because somtimes...#its hard to hear all the genuine nice voices over my own mind telling me no one wants me around #sorry if u read this tho....#spice.txt #spice.vent #i guess its a vent??? tagging in case....

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larryjohnsoncosplayonthursday · 2 years ago

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last

for realsies

#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY #i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit #over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me #in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth #wow ok amazing spectacular #like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no #reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni #i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for #i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring #i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what #AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF #anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad #i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually #i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me #why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me #they understand but i dont know #ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit

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b0mblover · 2 months ago

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Heavily believe that any timeline where jiro didnt fucking explode himself was 100% because Noriko kicked him in the balls.

#J’s awful theories of the day #chat. does anyone wanna hear my awful lopt theory thats not actually a theory and is more of a ‘what if’ scenario?#i am burning this kitchen to the ground until it is no more than char and ashes. just like jiros body!#/neg #i wanted to say “Noriko ‘drop kick jiros balls’ Maino” but like.#shes too short to do that.#😔😔 sorry. this is what happens when i stare at yarn for 40 mins #j’s misc shit #unrelated but like.#breakdown post so bad someone ive never interacted with in my life fucking dm’d me on my main 💀#i dont mind or smth but im still mildly in shock bc of it #do i somewhat break down to a literal stranger or keep my feelings bottled up? who fucking knows!#i think im actually going insane and idk what to do abt it lmao #i am losing it ☺️ its taking everything in me to not vent in the tags gggd #sorry for whosever eyes that sees this.

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thesorrowoflizards · 6 months ago

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i am BEGGING twitter to stop showing me doctor and clara content. begging. please. please please please. what do i have to do

#again nothing against the shippers here i just Do Not Wnat To See It and it is like HALF my dash #i follow like one (1) person who's into it for their other stuff and if it was just from them occasionally or whatever that'd be fine #but twitter thinks i hardcore ship it now for some reason and will NOT stop recommending me #various tweets and some of it REALLY annoys me #like one literally scoffing at the idea any strong relationship could be platonic ever 🙃#anyway it's fine. it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine.#screeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #like just. again. nothing against the shippers here. they're generally just minding their own business #i just want twitter to STOP. GIVING ME. ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY CONTENT I DONT WANT. PLEASE #i mean twitter literally #okay there's this youtuber i find annoying and like again it's not like 'this person is evil' i just.#dont really want to see this content right?#and like ive had to BLOCK AND MUTE this person and STILL. STILL TWITTER SENDS ME NOTIFICATIONS FOR THEIR POSTS #STILL #WHY! WHY! WHY!#like i guess they really fit into my supposed niche and i like some yuotubers that are friends with this one but like. I LITERALLY HAVE #THIS USER BLOCKED AND MUTED. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS #i hate twitter. i basically only go there to talk to like one friend and to look at jame slance photos.#like. that's about it. i scroll sometimes and almost always regret it #anyway: the point is. this post is complaining about twitter not really about this ship specifically #but it is making me really annoyed about this ship specifically sorry ship fans #vent? i guess #vent #twitter will be like. i have brought you a post.#and it's exclusively either like. a) shit i actively obviously dont wanna see b) something batshit (my example should be censor tagged tbh #so i wont give it) c) sometihng just completely random niche and personal to some random user???????#twitter why.

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dyketennant · 1 year ago

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idk i think i should start masking again 🤠 (i mean the autism i already wear a face mask)

#vent #personal #dont mind me using the tags as a diary for a bit. i have a real diary but my carpal tunnel is not agreeing with writing with a pen rn #blah blah blah val's interests are annoying and weird. and it's all they really know how to talk about #because they are so busy constantly with two jobs + full-time uni + side gigs + life in general #that they cannot function without their Little Things and because of that all their interpersonal relationships suffer #yknow how it is #ive always been one of those people who talks a lot in class #especially since getting to college because now i really care and am excited about what we're discussing #(plus talking about it/engaging helps keep me awake and stimulated otherwise i'll go to the seventh circle of hell)#but i feel like especially recently but just in general. i just always say dumb shit. and maybe it's worse now bc my paranoia is spiking #bc of that class with my ex i have twice a week and i know they're probably judging what i say and making fun of me to their new friends #while i have to spend an hour and fifteen minutes trying not to look at the other side of the room and turning up music when they speak #i used to be better at socially masking bc high school was hell but then covid happened and it all went down the drain #and then my life got Worse and now it's like. sorry im annoying and bad at talking i know i am. i am also trying to not be like that #idk i think im just so spread thin that everything i ever do im doing poorly bc i just Cant. and im in pain constantly #and always running late or rushing or stressed or busy. like i haven't been not-stressed since. i dont even know. maybe when i was sick?#and even then i was stressed because Oh Fuck I Have Covid. yknow #wow my therapist is going to have an interesting day tomorrow it seems

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puppysynonym · 2 years ago

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and yet somehow it will always be my fault

#i dont know how it got turned back to me aftwr you already said it was your fault #was it because i fucking consoled you until you felt bold enough to fucking blame your misery on me?#im tired #and stuck #like i cant fucking win #i worked so hard to fix everything and make you not mad at me and then you fucking change your mind and decide that it was my fault afterall #sorry that i dont want your fucking comfort when it always feels like it comes with a price #igive up #its literally useless for me to think you are genuinely capable of self reflection whem it comes to me #vent #vent in tags

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tony-andonuts · 2 years ago

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I think ive decided to go to my dads funeral in a dress, despite his super conservative mentees. He'd likely expect it from me and luckily his side of the fam are all faggots and trannies but ughhhhh i am dreading it. Also I know I'm expected to come up with a eulogy and a roast segment, along with talking to others but I can't and won't. (On a semi-non-seious note the eulogy i cant do bc yknow. And the roast because im too cutthroat and would start drama lmao)

Probably obvious that I've never attended a funeral for someone I actually knew but this shit fucking sucks, no one should have to be prepared for their own parent's funeral at 21

(And no one should have to get neglected by the healthcare system to the point of death but oh well it already happened)

#i haaate being negative when drunk #but it has been on my mind #i also have other social expectations and ig someones mad at me for not keeping in touch with my recently unestranged siblings #but like wtf do you expect me to do when my own dad died quickly by the hand of the medical system and im recovering from surgery/-#preparing to go back to work????#im literally back for three days before his service; and then straight back to work #i know my familial regret will create consequences but also literally fucking none of them reach out to us #we are the black sheep of the family and no one wants to make the effort to care for us #once everyone else is over my dads death theyre gonna ditch us without consequences #but my ass will suffer if i dont talk to anyone #ok wow a lot spilled. gonna go jack off or interact with nice things or something. none of this is my fault and theres only so much i can do #sorry for long tags #i will not be an angry drunk. i am a dumb/happy drunk (/mantra)#tony speaks #tony vents #this post is rat proof

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