#sorry cannot answer it now

[transgender-catboy]

I just got the best anon that I'm gonna have to try and answer tomorrow

[utilitycaster]

Ludinus: why are you here?

Bells Hells: ...

[poetrysmackdown]

some informal thoughts

hello! hope the holiday season has been kind to all of you. and i hope all my jewish followers had a lovely hanukkah! anyways, since i said a few months ago that i’d pick poetry smackdown back up sometime around this time of year, i thought i should make a post. the gist of it is that i’m still quite busy, i have a break that’s about three weeks shorter than I was planning on, and i don’t currently have the mental bandwidth required to read, contemplate, and sort through poem submissions in a way that does justice to them, even if i were to recruit some friends to help out. since running a tournament format requires at least five weeks of continued engagement once it’s underway, and since i’m not at capacity to offer that right now due to the change in my schedule, i’m gonna have to bow out for now. sad bc i was looking forward to it!

my hope is that i’ll have some more time over the summer to hunker down with it, in which case you’ll be hearing from me. it’ll frankly depend on the kind of job i land in for the summer, but i find that my unemployed spirit can typically keep me doing stupid shit regardless of workload...to a point. i don’t want to make any promises because i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just to let them down again LOL. i do admit the amount of exposure the first tournament got has made me feel like more of a perfectionist this time around, doubly because i don’t feel that i’m very suited to being a public online presence (even a relatively quite small one)—i’m bad enough at responding to emails for my own real life responsibilities, let alone tumblr asks for the silly responsibilities i invent for myself lol. that’s not to say i no longer want to do it, or i don’t enjoy it, or even that i don’t feel capable of making a really interesting bracket—just that if i am working to put something new together, and if people are taking the time to submit poems they care about, then i don’t want to half-ass it.

my second admission is something like this. I made the original bracket as a celebration of poetry and our relationships to it. yes it was silly and competitive, and the poems were very tumblr, but still, celebration was the intention—I wanted to have conversations about poetry. I stand by the bracket format as a fun and valuable way to foster conversations about poetry, but truthfully, the poems i’m wanting to have conversations about right now—the poems that we should be talking about right now—are ones that i'm not comfortable putting in a bracket. I reblogged The Baffler’s Poems from Palestine collection on here earlier, and Najwan Darwish’s “Who Remembers The Armenians?”, which I still often find repeating through my head when I'm traveling from one place to another, walking home or riding the bus. I came across this beautiful thread recently where people have been translating Dr. Refaat Alareer’s “If I Must Die” into their own languages (this just makes my translator's heart sing!!!!!!). @havingapoemwithyou has been posting some great poems from and for Palestine as well—check out their tag here.

There's always more to add, and I'll be posting more on here as I come across it, but that's what I feel anyone should be focusing on right now when it comes to poetry. i think poetry can be an escape but it should never be a distraction. does that make sense? i wouldn't be against doing a one-off poll here or there, but it feels weird to be making a tournament for poetry right now, or anytime soon. i feel like what free time i have right now is still best utilized helping my friends with organizing in the real world. and god, a bit off-topic but while I'm talking, fuck poetry foundation—I have so much respect for all the poets keeping up the boycott, because while i think it's a simple decision, it's not always an easy one (Aurielle Lucier discussed that here).

anyways, if you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I could go on and on, but really this was just meant to be a message telling y'all that there won't be another tournament for a while lol. even so i'll be trying to use this small silly platform as best i can until palestine is free because that's the absolute least i can do.

[greenbirdtrash]

This is the first and the last photos of her.

Today Flea passed away.

I haven't cried like that in a long time, I'm still shaking and completely smeared in soil, and all the time I've been digging, I just couldn't stop crying, but how little I care about myself now.

We buried her in the same spot where all my birds are buried.

I want to howl like a wounded animal and throw something heavy at smeone, but I realize that somewhere in the back of my mind I've felt a timer ticking ever since she got sick. And this whole time, I've tried to ignore it. It's been an entire month of struggles and fighting. Daily shots, manual feeding, weight control, inhalations, lots of medication and sleepless nights, I saw the tiniest improvements in her condition, she finally started gaining weight and eating on her own recently, and i truly believed that she will recover. But there is a million things and hidden reasons that I will never know about, and I am not sure that I'm in the right headspace to request an autopsy only for a dry and unemotional text about the organs of what was the most precious, loved and intelligent animal just a few hours ago.

Maybe i wasn't a "picture perfect" rat owner, but I gave my girls everything to have a happy life, full of enrichment and treats.

And now I think I probably shouldn't have left the house today, but even if I had stayed and watched over her just a little more, what could i possibly do? Maybe if she felt it was her time, i couldn't do anything about it, no matter how hard i tried or what i did.

I don't even know for sure if it was because of the lung failure, or maybe she had some hidden developmental abnormalities or other disease we didn't know about. Maybe it was just too late and she was already living on a borrowed time only because of me. I don't know

All I know is that she somehow waited for me to get back home and passed away on my lap, being gently petted and talked to in the comfort of familiar scents and surroundings, and I really want to think that in her last moments she felt loved and didn't suffer much.

I wish my personal graveyard would never get bigger, but it's not like i could do anything about it.

I knew about how little rats actually live, how often they get sick and need expensive treatment, but I went for it anyway, and when I finally got my girls, it was the best year ever for me. Two little fluffballs took all my love and affection and gave their own in return, they managed to pull me out of the nastiest depression episodes so many times, giving me a reason to get up in the morning at all, they gave me countless amount of joy and wonder, and now....Her sister Fly is all alone. I don't know how much they actually understand, but somehow, even with their tiny little heads they have complex personalities and empathy, and when things went down, she slept on the wooden shelf next to the transportation box Flea was in, for a few days straight, instead of the cozy hammock. When they finally got reunited, she constantly licked the porphyrin off her eyes, groomed her fur when she was too weak for it, and this whole rat-to-rat communication i just cannot replace for her. I don't know what to do. I'm so exhausted.

Death is especially cruel for those who are able to process and understand the loss it brings, but it's natural and inevitable anyway.

I wish you the softest clouds over the rainbow, my little brave girl...I will never forget you.

28.02.24-14.04.25

[000marie198]

Nine getting jealous that some of the other tailses are growing taller than him (poor boy didn't realize that welding a bunch of robot spider legs to his spine might stunt his growth)

Remember how in the show he always kept using them to gain height on others so he'd be taller and more intimidating? Yeah...

[madaqueue]

does gamer quinn have a gaming setup 🙈🙈🙈🙈😼😼😼😼🍑🍑🍑🍑

FKEKCKEKCKEKD lani …. do you wanna see something

i built this ….. to play minecraft . pls still love me

[stadam]

i haven't been writing across any blogs because i'm in the midst of wrapping up a pile of research papers I've been doing for uni for the past few months. might slap a semi-hiatus across the board 😭

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

may i pick ur brain wrt something? you write such a large variety of characters and i think you have great skill in following through with a character's characterization (lol) to their sexual life. i was wondering what do you choose to focus on or how you approach figuring out a character's sexual style (?) when you write? im pretty new to writing smut (i write in general but i usually just fade to black) and im having trouble translating a character's neurosis into sexual acts, particularly when you move beyond the vanilla missionary etc sex (which im not particularly interested in writing even tho i think it can be emotionally poignant in its own right).

what i have most trouble with is like figuring out if a certain act fits character a or character b in my ensemble, say, and then moving through with that. i've been trying to approach it like fighting styles bc of the character's physicality, but there are certain temperamental and moral tensions informing fighting in particular (as a deliverance of violence, i mean) that make it hard for me to pinpoint how to translate that to sex without it feeling shoehorned. for example (and this is just for reference), i have a character who's like a gunslinger and whose style is very explosive and wild and a little bit cocky, but when u look at it under the microscope, his approach is polished and precise and meticulous. and THEN his internality is of a young man with a lot of anger and stunted growth, who really just wants acceptance and affection deep down, and who is so very tired. now i can translate each of those things and its combinations a hundred thousand ways, but which is correct? or faithful to him? at one point it all seems unfathomable to me. and then bc i can't make up my mind i fear everything i write ends up being too plain, or ill-fitting, and because my cast is large, it also all ends up feeling too same-y. has this ever been an issue for you?

first of all - i want to say thank you for entrusting and believing in my writing abilities enough to want to pick my brain about this. i'm not entirely sure what the appeal of my writing is to other people (not in a negative way but more in that its my own stuff so im always critical of it) but i put forth a lot of thought in characterization and translating that into sex as i am primarily a smut writer so while im not the most confident u should come to me for advice, im deeply flattered and will do my best anyway

i'll be real though, the best advice is genuinely just not to overthink it and go with your gut. have some faith in your own writing voice and ideas etc. but anyway

there are a lot of layers to this question and i'll do my best to go through it bit-by-bit. and i don't know if this will really help you since it might come off vague

if i can offer you any advice on characterizing well in a smut scene, it's to not view the smut as a separate entity to your work but as an integral part of it's infrastructure. do not treat the smut scene as part of the work, but as a pillar of it.

the other thing is understanding what is personally compelling to u or arousing about this characters storyline or personality. and not arousing as in physical lust, but what concepts tickle you and make you want to write.

the truth is there's no objectively correct way to characterize a character especially if they're nuanced and complex. which is why all writing is subjective in a sense.

ultimately, it's your job as the author to choose what characterization you like best and convince the audience it's the correct one.

for example, the character you're describing is multifaceted. there are several ways you can take the direction of the story

their outward persona is being a cocky gunslinger who is inwardly polished, meticulous, sensitive and tired. all of these traits can be expanded upon into sexual acts based on your will as the writer - so you have to ask yourself, what aspect of this character is the most arousing to you as a writer or what is this sex scene intending to display about a character. what trait of theirs are you hoping to highlight through sex?

to translate these things into sex gets really tricky and is honestly something you have to experiment with until you feel it click.

for me - if i were attempting to write this character, the breakdown process would look something like this.

this character has a personality gap of being a cocky gunslinger but is actually polished and meticulous

this means they they are likely concerned with appearances.

something in their past must've brought them to that conclusion. if they are continuing to outwardly project themselves as a reckless gunslinger - it is is likely not their "true" self.

what would make a character with this many defense show their true selves, or what other characters cause this character to demonstrate to their true selves?

the translation process of eroticism can go in a hundred different languages. if i personally were writing this character, i might pair them with an older mentor type of character, or a nonchalant rival. i might put them in a situation that requires a different kind of vulnerability and forces them to expose some of their nature for the sake of their ideals

as an author, im aroused by the idea of them showing their submission and affectionate side. trying to subconsciously appeal to authority figures might be interesting if i'm trying to demonstrate their lack of validation. the opposite can also be true, that a character like this might resent mentor / authority figures that impede their own ideas and trying to highlight their anger. writing this gunslinger lashing out at a fellow gunslinger they respect can easily be turned into erotica.

you could pair this character with a nonchalant rival type. a direct opposite that challenges a characters morals ideological belief or perhaps - understands them through their differences. this rival character pays enough attention to the gunslinger to know that they are polished and special. while they are rivals, there's something legitmate in their dynamic to this sensitive, tired character who puts up a facade and wants to be understood.

your own arousal as an author comes in here and where you have to make choices.

lets say then, i go with the latter. i would then structure the story or chapter around this idea through by demonstrating the push and pull of their relationship. i would subvert this characters personality through the framework of submission and a desire for acceptance. i'd write the erotica about the slow crescendo to sex with their rival who seems to accept them fully. i'd write about their different meetings, choosing small things to represent larger themes. maybe their rival praises their technique or offers them a listening ear. i use those small moments to build up to the intimacy and weave the erotic stuff into the story itself so when the sex comes it feels gratifying and releases tension (lol)

for the actual sex stuff you just have to go with your gut and distinguish things based on what traits you're showing. maybe this characters need for affection and rest makes them a whiny bottom. as a writer, i'd monopolize that. i'd point out their eagerness to please through desperation like kissing or nuzzle, and i'd have their words contradict their actions to display their personality gap etc

for me being structured around erotica means going through that kind of mental process and and building a story framework from the ground up and aiming for a proper sex scene. the erotica process is weaved into the plot mechanisms, the metaphors, the stories ideology. the smut is the point, and every action is central to emphasizing what is going to end up happening. my better examples of this lately are probably uncle sukuna rip

ive been writing smut for long enough now that i do not struggle with it and it's easy for me to come up with a unique character voice and do all the above sort of automatically in my mind. and i know it can feel intimidating.

the best advice i can give you though again is don't overthink it which ik seems contradictory to all of the above advice. but sometimes you just have to let yourself go with the flow and believe in your own abilities. trust your gut and just shoot straight ahead.

i hope this was bale to help u some!!

[fakeoutbf]

.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

I have come up with a question.

Who I'd your favorite Genshin character and why?

By reading your fics I can't tell if it's zhongli or childe.

zhongli by leaps and bounds actually

i do love childe don't get me wrong; i just love zhongli far more

as for why, i wouldn't know how to word it in a way that wouldn't take me any less than writing CN took me LMAO the reason why you might think childe is up there among my favorites (he is, he's just not as close to the top as you might think) i'd assume is probably because of the fics, yes? but the thing about the fics is while i've already mentioned i'm not exactly projecting onto childe nor, god forbid, using him as a self-insert for the author – i am more or less of the opinion that the way childe would love zhongli in a story would more often than not align quite well with the way i myself love zhongli as a character. (which is why i find bgtea's eoos and jouicifer's npc so interesting) so like- the reason why childe is usually the main pov character for my zhongchi fics is because i get to write how much i love zhongli as a concept via the lens of a character who would also love him in a similar fashion; only i also get to spice it up with childe's own character quirks, bc i think he's fascinating as well, just in a different direction. that might be why i've yet to write a zhongli pov zhongchi: not as easy to write about how much i love the character's concept if he himself is the pov, and i feel like zhongli's way of loving childe as a concept wouldn't be able to fill a fic the same way it does the other way around. not that he doesn't love him! i just haven't figured out how to write that pov for that long yet. if you're curious, i'd have to say my current favorites list goes kind of like this: zhongli way ahead of all the others, then wriothesley and neuvillette around the same realm, then navia, then kuki, then baizhu, then childe, and then like- in no particular order, furina, clorinde, diluc, jean, qiqi, xiao, xingqiu, chongyun, beidou, fischl, thoma, ayato, layla, yanfei, yaoyao, dehya, shenhe and most of the others. also to the side there'd be alhaitham, separate from the list, bc i love him but i also detest him in a particular way. i guess pity him is a better word, watching how the fandom treats him feels like taking physical dmg. if you're thinking of a particular artist like an outlier you're probably wrong, but i'm not going to point fingers bc why would i do that. (i do have a handful of characters i dislike but in the spirit of not being an asshole i'm just not going to list them)

anyway- yeah that's pretty much it;; maybe one day i'll make a zhongli pov zhongchi and it'd be a bit clearer what i mean by that, but you know me, i don't control the inspiration ToT

[quinloki]

if you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Sushi, it's a fairly nutritious food, and has a lot of combinations, so I would not die of something silly like scurvy.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

Hi! Saw ur posts and got really curious, what do u think is going on with fk and why? cuz to me there's nothing wrong ijifuhd other than the more "obvious" fanservice maybe, but then again i don't think too much about it so i'm clueless.

anon this is the only valid energy let's keep it up and NOT over interpret Khaotung's eye crinkles, this is why I write fic. no one should be asking my opinions about anything real ^^' EDIT: I do want to add that I don't think anything is 'wrong' but unfortunately when celebs act out of the ordinary - which can be because of anything as simple as they were just too tired to don their full persona that day - fans have opinions about it. I'm mostly just discussing why the FK fandom feels like they're under so much threat recently with no real stimulus to make it so. FK are literally unable to break up for another year, I cannot stress this point enough.

I'm anxious because the last time this was happening to me in fandom was during EMs divorce era. aka no one can decide if they're fine or not even though they seem for all intents and purposes just fine. I am also going through my divorce era (but because it's real life this era lasts forever for me lol). So separation is just on my mind. Why is it on everyone else's mind is the real curiosity.

[intotheelliwoods]

Finally trying to tackle my inbox but half of these I have no clue how to answer without involving spoilers oops.

[dreamsb0u]

Hello! This is a copy and paste message to inform some people of recent events involving the most controversial Tumblr user @samijami. Although, I wasn't involved in any of the drama with her supposed art theft, I do know a few things of my own about the nature of this character. She utilizes the fact that she is a minor, and that people pity her, and will defend her, to twist it into a way to get off scott free with everything she does. I personally believe in the rumors about her art theft and her queerphobia. And I believe you should too. This problematic user doesn't belong on Tumblr, and I'd like you to be informed and stay as far from Sami Jane as you can, or you'd get dragged into her business too.

Sorry dude, but I don’t take information off of random anons who I don’t know. Do you have any proof? Besides, you’ve used the wrong pronouns which doesn’t exactly support your point about the queerphobia. I don’t believe you is the point. Bye 😋😋

@samijami (sorry for the tag, I just wanted to let you know about this whole message thing and maybe get some clarification)

[mjtheartist04]

wanted to do silly research and saw that Genya Pic of him holding the tulip, and fun fact! Tulips [pink specifically 👀] mean love, affection, and good caring! BUT They also mean congratulations or a token of good luck! You mention a headcanon Genya having a green thumb... And I can totally see Genya giving Rika a pink tulip anytime she leaves for a mission or returns due to there meaning ...🥺 Maybe even sends her crow with one in his beak to give her?

AND DID YOU NOT THINK I WOULD CRY WHEN LEAVING THIS IN MY INBOX???…

STOPPPP POOKKIIIEEEE-😭

THE FACT THAT YOU DID RESEARCH ON MY FAVORITE FLOWERS AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SWEET SELF WROTE THIS LITTLE HEADCANON IN MY INBOX AND IM-

This is official, This is their thing now AND I LOVE YOU FOR THIS!!!🥺💗💗💗

I feel like genya would secretly be the only one in the relationship too really know the meanings behind flowers, and I can totally see him sending flowers to her with the little help from her crow, maybe even with a small note or letter🥺💌…

They are little reminders that she has someone waiting for her back home…and it just determines her even more to continue fighting so that she can make it back into his warm loving embrace again. right where she belongs🥹💕