#sometimes love is helping someone walk
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the parallel between these two moments… bro
#house md#hilson#house md season 7#house md season 8#sometimes love is helping someone walk#they drive me crazy#aurgh
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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ive been the butt end of 2 relatively homophobic/transphobic comments from customers at work this weekend and im feeling weird about it
#like if yall dont know im trans agender and very androgynous#im exactly at the point of my transition where i want to be and im super happy about it#(sidenote: i forgot i have to do my shot that always helps)#but sometimes i forget just how shitty people can be#i live in a lil bubble where (most) of my loved ones call me by my preferred name and pronoun#(sidenote 2: someone once told me i shouldnt say preferred and i should just say “my name and pronouns are..” but like...#i prefer saying preferred if you know what i mean?#like i honestly feel like the wording (as a poet) means a lot to me#so by saying preferred it indicates that it belongs to me#i prefer it#i dunno#anyway#)#and then weird people in my hometown come out with some swinging statements about my general state of being#like i was saying to my mom earlier (we were arguing about it i think thats why its still sitting on me weird)#if i were in my rainbow gear and being rude about my pronouns and walking around going “kill all straights” then sure#you have a right to be upset#but its literally just my face yknow?#like.. im wearing a matching pastel pink shirt and boot combo and im wearing a vest#im just trying to keep my staff alive in a busy friday night rush#im not a threat#lexis thoughts#whatever I'm gonna go do my shot and just suck it up#asi do :)
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So I was going to write this whole thing about Faulkner and how a lot of his character is, at least to me, built on this despairing loneliness and isolation. That part of it stems from having been abandoned by his father and brother (a father that never looked him in the eye, a brother that never came back like he promised). That that loneliness feeds into his desire for a place to belong, to no longer be alone, but its since been twisted into this want for prestige (because there's that rationalization: if he were special, if he had the title and accolades then he'd have had to have made his place somewhere right? Make a home somewhere?). And that's why it was so easy to betray Carpenter the way he did, to weigh it in his hands....
.... but every time I tried to sit down and write coherent, concise thoughts it spiraled into something incomprehensible (see above). BUT I still want to talk about it because this podcast makes me so ill every other Thursday.
#the silt verses#listen. do you see my vision.#faulkner strikes me as someone who knows who he is but needs to prove it to others. needs to save face. is afraid of showing his mistakes#sometimes I'll see ppl say they hate faulkner and I'm like nooo you don't deserve him#listen i firmly believe ppl are allowed to feel whatever way about whichever character#AND YET.....#like if you're struggling to understand his character i feel like this reading helps contextualize a lot of his actions#he's not someone who wants power for power's sake#but rather needs to be accepted and loved but only sees the possibility through power. through being special#the trawlerman as a god that walked beside him when he was lonely and hurting and chose him for a reason#but there's a reason why he no longer prayed to him like he used to in s2 isn't there?
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Who saved whom?
☆ who are you? what are you doing on the floor?
》 nobody. doesn't matter. go away.
☆ are you the prince who came to save me?
》 ...what? no.
☆ oh... okay.
》 ..... do you need saving?
☆ no..... maybe. i don't know... i guess, a little bit.
》 ..... okay. c'mon.
☆ what? where are we going?
》 far away from here.
☆ and you're coming with me?
》 ..... yeah. i'll go with you.
☆ but dad will get mad if i stay out too late. when are we coming back?
》 never. trust me, i know you don't want to go back there. say goodbye and let's go.
☆ okay. bye-bye.👋
#》 hey kid... don't ever quit theater. never stop doing what you love and know you're good at. ok? please do that for me#<- small addition bc i'm sadistic :)#meta#->#it's like...young ey gave old ey courage to walk away. and while walking away old ey saved young ey by taking him along.#sometimes it helps to detach yourself from the situation and pretend you're saving someone else when saving yourself#yk how sometimes it's easier to help others than yourself? if you're not gonna help yourself then at least help ur inner child#<- sth like that#no home#no home manhwa#집이 없어#webtoon#eunyung baek#pov#i thought it would be interesting to put both pictures next to each other#and i felt inspired#¯\ (ツ) /¯#☆: young ey (cinderella)#》: older ey (our lovely asshole)#<- in case it wasn't clear
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Friendly reminder that a guy de-escalating, redirecting, or otherwise getting the person to Knock It Off in a way that is safe/doesn't escalate things, when his girlfriend gets catcalled is not "taking away her agency" because "she can defend herself" --- it's recognizing the very real danger and threat she faces and the very real safety he has and actually doing something helpful with that safety
#utterly baffling that this is genuinely a Take that exists#baffling but also 'disappointed but not surprised'#women and ppl seen as women for the past ??? years:#hey these situations can become extremely dangerous for us no matter how we respond so if you see it happen and feel safe enough#to do something to help and protect us in those moments please do#aaaand somehow we get#this fucker when someone does that for his gf: um actually 🤓 ☝️ that's not Progressive enough and you're horrible for it#buddy WHAT#(obviously it's different if there's been a discussion btwn them that he shouldn't do that but just in general?#catcalling#harassment cw#anyway if you're someone who looks out for somebody you've witnessed get catcalled/harassed/etc I love you#it doesn't always have to be done in that way sometimes it can also be things like offering to walk with the victim or asking if they want#you to call someone and stuff like that but yk#also hold those assholes accountable if it's probably safe. the more they think other guys don't care the more they'll do it
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forever thinking about how ellis' schizophrenia was simmering in the back of his mind but probably wouldn't have flared up until he was older if he hadn't walked in the fade as a non-magic user
#ooc.#the most horrific thing he thinks he ever experienced was what happened in the mage tower#by the time he gets to the deep roads he is so desensitized he's Over It#[ he's more focused on golems though Lily put him in his fucking place for thinking that way bcs the moment he's like#' well branka has a point '#lily kicks the shit out of him (rightfully) ]#but i will forever be thinking about how he as someone was afraid of magic & that fear being Proven but also as someone who#becomes desinsitized to that fear via exposure#like i dont think there is an ' aha magic good ' moment for him ever#but he just get more scared of other things & doesn't have the energy to think that way anymore#magic as a tool regardless of consequences#i will also note that walking in the fade slapped him like a bad mushroom trip it Fucks Him Up#i have a post somewhere about it but it is super outdated but i would love to dig into it sometime#when he does eventually seek out help & get medicated i also like to think it is the thedas version of magic mushrooms he just microdoses#on an actual schedule to keep his brain from going >:(((#idk i a m thinking about him today
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living in my own home away from my dad but he still waits up for me to get home
#i was panicking cause 'whos up at 2am. who can i call at 2am- no one will pick up the pho-- my dad. his phone is ALWAYS on loud.'#it rings twice and im like 'shit dad im so sorry to call you and wake you' and hes just there like 'oh dont worry. i was waiting for you.'#turns out: my mum was suppose to message me to tell me to call my dad when i got off the coach to walk home! she must've forgot tho#cause i was initially just gonna walk home ez - it wasnt until the guy cat called me and started following me again that i thought#nOPE NOT THE NIGHT NOT THE VICTIM I GOTTA CALL SOMEONE OR SMTH#so i thought i might have woken him but nope he was already waiting on me - kinda had a moment of !!!!!!#my dad miiight have grown to become my hero or smth pfshhh anyway#ALSO U KNOW I DID THAT THING AGAIN. random stranger starts talking loudly and i looked at him - u give them a glance and they take it ALL.#gotta learn to stop doing that for my own fuckin safety jfc. BUT I MADE IT HOME SAFE ANYWAY SO#me and my dad just talked about our days and mid way he was like 'are you okay? you sound like youre shivering? is it cold or-'#'OH YEA im just cold. its freezing.' 'Ha! trust me there is nothing better than being in the freezing cold and then getting into bed.#best feeling... i know you have your own life now but its good to make sure you get home safe.'#ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE LIKE. ARHGHGH my dad loves me fuck the rest of yall-#this is for all those people who say i have daddy issues cause i make a father figure out of every character i like-#ur correct but-#ANYWAY SOmetimes forget my dad has unmedicated anxiety. my mans out here fighting for him life on a random saturday cause his kid#didnt get home until 2am. then he wakes up at 6am to help my brother - My guy doing It All.#my art#ted talk
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Okay I don't do this normally but out of curiosity, I looked at that guys' posts and yeah they're going around sealioning anyone who likes Dimitri being all like "how can you say Dimitri/AM is your favorite when you didn't play all the routes". Buddy it's called having preferences, subjectivity and opinion. I'm sure if we twist their behavior around back at them, they'll be like stop bothering us for liking Edel cause double standards is their bread and butter.
Yeah, I had taken a brief scroll through their blog the first time I saw them argue with Random about Claude because I had a pretty strong feeling that they were just another stan running around around against Rhea and Dimitri fans because I knew that person didn't follow Random when they started pulling the bad faith Claude takes.
I scrolled through a few posts before I was like yeah I'm not even gonna bother looking further because I could see all they were doing was arguing with people whose names I recognized, and the only people who ever do that are the stans. They also have absolutely nothing else but discourse on their blog.
It's crazy to me too, because I've seen those same Dimitri fans try to talk about anything else FE related and yet they still get pulled back into discourse. Like, I'm at the point where I believe everyone in that immediate group is just actively being stalked by the stans (and I recall one of them mentioning they are being stalked by them, but my guess is if one of them is, all of them are).
Also, the stans tend to pull the "you didn't play xyz route" when I'm quite certain most if not all of the Dimitri fans on Tumblr have at the very bare minimum watched the full route on YouTube of anything they didn't play. All these people have the information they need to know where they stand opinion-wise, and like you said, it's just... having an opinion. The stans have their opinions, we don't agree with them, and we don't engage with them unless they engage with us first.
Something I've noticed about the group of Dimitri fans that gets stans going after them is that it's always the stans who start it. They always respond to asks sent to those people. In other words they go onto those people's blogs, look at their posts/their replies to their anons, and start arguing at them over literally anything they say in thsoe ask responses.
Every single time I see a post reach my dashboard from any of those people (you might know the Faerghus/Dimitri group I'm talking about), it's always a stan going after them when they were just answering one of their own anons and posting something on their own blog. I'm sure there are people who think they engage in discourse too much, but they don't even start it. They get harassed and can't just blog in peace.
Unfortunately those same stans have been targeting Random as of late (and I've noticed it's more and more different ones so they're probably going after someone as soon as they notice their buddies are doing so) so it's not that surprising that they've taken notice of me since she and I interact regularly. They basically go through the chain of who interacts with who and try to start shit.
Oh nonnie honey, you better believe if even a single Dimitri fan did to them what they do to us, they'd be all over that and whining about it and posting callouts and shit.
I just want to be able to post whatever my feelings are about Dimitri without worrying that people will try to tear it down because "it's not about Edel-chan and it portrays Dimitri in a good light".
I've blocked every Edelstan I've come across but more of them keep popping up, so... I guess the blocking never ends. My block list is basically just Edelstans and bots at this point with few exceptions.
Funny how the stans don't block Dimitri fans who hate Edelgard to avoid seeing them (it's because they don't actually want to, because they want to argue), even though we're all over here trying to block them, but some of them block evade to keep going. Literally like Dimitri fans have tried to block them and move on, but they persistently find ways to keep harassing. And like I said, they go down the line, so eventually they'll just find every active Dimitri lover who posts about him and whine at them.
#DCB Ask#it's fucking wild to me how many times the same people have tried to block and move on and avoid these people#and how many times they've tried to talk about anything else or whatever they want in their own space#but the stans keep coming back and bothering them#there are even people whose favorite isn't Dimitri but they've ended up hating Edelgard because of the stans#and are wary of discourse bc of them. and like... their favorites aren't part of the general discourse much if at all#but they still hate Edelgard bc they just don't like HER but her stans made them despise the sight of her#it's tiring stressful and pathetic tbh. maybe I'll just like. write an analysis about a character I love#from another game so I can write about something fun and that I love and try to help#convince people in a happy positive way that he's GooD. bc like if you want someone to like your faves#the best way to change their mind is to have fun and talk in detail without discourse about them#if you're talking about them in a good way and explaining the depths of the character#and people can tell you're passionate about the character then they're way more likely to walk in open minded#than if you come at them insulting them and bitching at them for who they DO like or for not liking your fave#when ppl get interested in Dimitri and want to hear from me why I like him and stuff#I tell them all the great things about him that I love and gush about him. I don't start going#AND EDELGARD -INSERT EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT HER- AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE DIMITRI#and I don't include why I hate Edelgard when ppl ask why I love Dimitri. I tell them why I love Dimitri and am happy to talk abt it#I LOVE getting ppl to enjoy my faves and sometimes it works! and that's bc they enjoy the vibe they get#when I'm talking abt my faves. they like seeing the passion and interest and positivity#I do this with my faves in another franchise all the time with an entire group of side characters who are sides but#also very plot important and it always makes people see them in a different light and appreciate them more
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Today I was helping run the booth for the local queer non-profit at the farmer's market and a woman told me that she would like a flag, pointing to our little bucket of flags. So I picked up the bucket and I brought it over and asked her which one she'd like.
"Well, tell me about them!"
"Oh! Okay! This one is the inclusion flag- its for everyone, including allies."
"What's this one?"
"That's the bisexual flag: it represents people who are attracted to two or more genders."
"Hmm... what about this one?"
"That's the nonbinary flag: it represents people whose gender isn't strictly 'male or female.'"
"Hmm... what's this purple one?"
"That's the asexual flag: it represents people who may not feel sexual attraction the way that others do."
She put her hand to her chest and got this really curious look on her face. "Tell me more about that!"
"Oh, happy to! So like if you're out with your bestie and someone real fine walks by and she's like 'omg look at him' and you're like 'girl get a grip?' Or like you just don't get what the 'big deal' is about sex or why everyone is so weird about it? But there's also room for like- you don't fall in love with the way someone looks, you're attracted to the person- their sense of humor and their kindness, or there's something about their personality that just makes it click for you? That's asexuality, too!"
And she got real quiet and seemed to think about it for a minute. So I grabbed our little informational sheet about different queer identities and handed her a copy. "If you want to do some research, this is probably a great place to start."
She thanked me and took an ace flag, stuck it in her hair.
Sometimes when you're online all the time, its easy to think that 'everyone knows about (topic), there's no reason to keep talking about it so much.' But while the people on the internet are real people, the internet ISN'T real life. And there are lots of people who do need to know that they do have community!
One of the jokes is that I'm a lot of people's 'patient zero' for discovering that they're queer. This is why.
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Jesus fucking christ I get tired of sitting here and hearing my dad loudly ripping ass from the other room
Like listen, I get it, I get that you can't control your guts. Like fuck, for a while... as in like months, I was having trouble even leaving the house... still no clue what was even up which makes me feel like my theory about not eating enough is in the lead given... haven't found any allergies I can identify
So I get it and have sympathy (and fear inheriting my dad's guts), but... it's just so fucking gross man
And it's also like... maybe I'm eating, maybe I'm watching a show... whatever it is the mood's kinda ruined by this just... it almost literally couldn't be louder or grosser
I get you can't control your guts but... do something... anything... see a doctor or... anything
It's just nasty. He's not a bad person, but my dad's just a nasty dude
#and it's not like he means to be; he's just... fucking clueless and... just always finds the way to be gross as possible#he drives the uhaul up here and... of course there's piss bottles... awesome#he walks around scratching his nuts; and it's not like... discreet; it's great big raking motions up and down#it's not like he's got no class or something; it's not like he's some hick with it#imagine a fairly well spoken pseudo academic that's just... crass and nasty all the time without even realizing it#I just... I get tired of it#it's better than my mom by far; at least he helps and means well and knows I'd rather live alone#but fucking hell#and what's more... just imagine if I ever let someone crash here... then he's disgusting someone that's not even family; you know?#I like having... I'd love to have my dad as a neighbor#but I fucking hate having him in the same building; being disgusting#walking in and just kinda peeking through the door; not like in a surveillance kinda way; just a... being dumb and clueless#not getting why that's not cool to do to someone#and then just walking up and blather at me when it's like... if I have food; do not talk to me#if I'm typing; do not talk to me#if I'm watching something; do not talk to me#honestly a lot of the people I know on tumblr could probably break those rules cause I'd be like 'sure; come it; lets talk'#but you also probably would take the hint if I just was busy; and you're also not ripping ass outside my door all the time#one time he literally did it right behind my fan... so guess what that fucking does?#and he just doesn't understand#very smart guy; and despite that very stupid#like I'm kinda clueless; I don't think I always pick up cues well#...certainly can often feel like... everything's risking getting snapped at#cause it'll seem like on thing I do will get huge laughs from someone and they love it#and then almost the exact same thing seems to piss them off... I don't know... I may just be bad at shit#but at least if I have to scratch my groin near other people I'll kinda try and get to a corner and do it discreetly#not fucking rake things while talking with people... are you kidding? that should be so obvious not to be ok#and the shitty thing is... I don't think I've ever done more than imply it; but that recurring infection is right on the taint; dead center#that's why they don't want to touch it; that's why when it flairs up I can hardly walk... but it also itches like hell sometimes#so I probably end up feeling something similar to if not identical to what my dad feels... and alone in my room is one thing
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I still remember when virtue said something about my height I can’t recall exactly what she said but she said I’m like throwable ? Guys I don’t want to be thrown pls I don’t know what to say to this 😭
#I don’t understand why ppl love height difference why would someone want to be thrown#okay so maybe I might be like okay do it BUT THATS JUST CAUSE IM A LITTLE SELF DESTRUCTIVE so in the event I would approve (?)#it’d be like not for the ‘cute’ reason she’s intending more so end my misery kind of way 😭#regardless apart from the self destructive pov how can throwing someone be considered cute or nice or fun ? am I just dumb and stupid or am#I missing something#help 😭#dora daily#I feel like ppl act that me saying my height is me professing some flex but I’m not I’m just an open book is all#and I just say it to laugh at myself I don’t have an underlying motive of appearing cute cause my height is annoying and impractical#there is no functional advantage of being short it’s just inconvenient so I’m not sure why people approach it as if it’s some aesthetic#thing it’s not it just gets in the way like for example walking or reaching high places#people’s strides are much further than mine because my legs are so short it’s annoying I sometimes look at tall people and be like tut Tut 🙄#look at them having long legs and being faster than me without even trying and I’m out here slaving away walking practically twice their#distance they travel 😭 it’s so inconvenient ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭😭#actually tho I can outwalk tall people#tall ppl are so used to calmly walking that me rushing everywhere has become a force of habit and I outwalk them HAHA#see this is what I mean I gotta overcompensate now with extra effort !!! 💔#who even said I’m remotely bothered SIGHHH
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#tag talk#plot twist. I've learned how to admit I've made mistakes and he still loves me and everything is fine#even though I'm an absolute idiot sometimes I've grown to at least be able to admit it and be honest about being dumb#because this is the first time I've cut someone out and felt like it was a mistake and not a good choice#so I said so and was like ��hey remember when I said my brain couldn't be trusted? yeah I was right”#at least I was up front months ago about being crazy girlfriend material. helps when I need to walk back dumb shit I say and do#having to come to grips with the fact that I'm sometimes an idiot is pretty rough though#I have a fortune cookie fortune saved in my wallet that says “it was when you learned to make mistakes that you knew you were onto somethin#and yeah. learning to accept that I fuck up sometimes is really important for me.#anyway I don't care if we never have good sex ever. I want someone who loves me and cares about me and who I love in return.#he sent me a dumb Instagram reel and it gave me the biggest smile. yeah we back Bois
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I hate how sleep and fatigue seem like they should correlate and yet they don’t.
I’ve been sleeping more recently (averaging about 90min more than usual) and you might think “oh, that means you’re less fatigued right?” Which would be a false assumption. Because just because I’m sleeping longer doesn’t mean I’m not waking up more during the night (from pain, or nausea, or palpitations or bladder urgency… or all of them at once), or getting more of the good stuff (rem and deep sleep) according to my Fitbit. Today I woke early and haven’t been able to get back to sleep at all. And yet I’m still so fatigued. And like yes I’ve I been diagnosed with mild positional sleep apnoea (which I’m managing) and a slight sleep latency but I was told unequivocally by the sleep doc that the severity and patterning of my fatigue was not explained by these findings. The only night I’ve slept through in the last fortnight or so is the night I took my strong pain meds for intractable TMJ pain. Which makes me think that pain is an element. But probably not the whole picture.
I try to figure out if it’s physical stuff, I try to balance probabilities if it’s depression (it’s been a rough couple of months when I think about it), is something else going wrong with me? Or is this just my normal, a result of all my various conditions.
At some point I think I need to accept that my fatigue is chronic, that I do experience some sort of PEM, and I probably need to pursue me/cfs with my GP again. She was the one who brought it up with me last year, but it fell to the wayside a bit with the hEDS and bladder/bowel stuff that took over last year. But even though I feel like I’ve too much energy to have me/cfs, I do experience the malaise and flu-like symptoms when I overdo it. And overdoing it can look different from week to week. I don’t know.
#the ups and downs of chronic illness#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#gastrointestinal fuckery#acid reflux (derogatory)#mentally not vibing right now#along with a spate of falls and injuries that have even my friends concerned enough to start reccomending mobility aids#and my chronic migraines chronic migraine-ing#it’s a bit hard at the minute#a lot of my internalised ableism is at the forefront right now#a win was I did get a parking permit! because of the EDS i qualify for a permanent one which def tripped the dude up#the dude who processed my permit that is#I like the permit as it’s very good for campus (which is where I need it most) but tbh I don’t use it much elsewhere if I can help it#only time I used it off campus was at a social event where parking was pretty busy and I did not have the energy to walk very far#and that was very irritating because someone parked me in by illegally parking over the stripped keep clear bit#had to clamber over the passenger side#exactly what I want to do after I’ve already pushed myself to the limit somewhat by doing a social thing after a full day of classes/study#thesis-ing is going well#it’s a very different pace of work and study#but I love my topic and everyone I talk to in my faculty are also hyped and being really nice#honestly academics can be really great sometimes#also my Microsoft word game is leveling up#I am never going to be normal about formatting documents again
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Simon hated the tapping out ceremony. Ever since he first had to partake in one, he despised it. With no family and very few friends, he was usually the last on the field, waiting until one of his superiors would tap him out. But he couldn’t skip them either.
So there he was. The sun was beating down on the hundreds of soldiers lined up in neat little rows, standing at attention while they waited for their loved ones. And they came quickly. One soldier after the other was tapped out by their parents, siblings, spouse, and sometimes even children. But he stayed still, watching the happy reunions out of the corner of his eyes. Watching the tears and hugs and kisses. He envied the others; he was jealous of what they had, and he didn’t. But Simon had always been good at following orders, so he didn’t move, barely even blinked as he was surrounded by happiness, while he drowned in his own sorrow.
After an hour, there was only one other soldier left. Simon had barely interacted with him, but he knew his face. And just when Simon thought he wouldn’t be the only one without someone to tap him out this time, a crowd of eight people moved toward the soldier. At the front was an older-looking woman, her brown hair streaked with grey and lines on her face, indicating her age. Around her were people of all ages and genders.
“My son!” The woman let out a sob as she finally threw her arms around the soldier’s neck, causing the man to chuckle, as he hugged her back. “I missed you too, mama.”
One by one, he talked to the people surrounding him, hugged them, and kissed them. Simon couldn’t help but watch, bile rising in his throat as jealousy threatened to overtake him. And as he watched, he couldn’t help but imagine himself in the soldier’s stead. Surrounded by a happy, loud, and loving family. People who were happy to see him. Nowadays, the only people he could call family were the guys from the 141, and they were away on a mission. Still, in his mind, the scene played out. His mother, smiling, rushing toward him. Followed by his brother and his wife, carrying his nephew.
The daydream was interrupted by someone walking toward him. He expected it to be his superior, there to finally release him from the nightmare. But it wasn’t.
A young woman took timid steps in his direction. Her eyes, bright but filled with sadness. Not her own sadness, though, it was sadness she felt for him. He didn’t react, didn’t move, didn’t blink. She came to a stop in front of him, gazing up with a frown.
“Is someone coming?” Simon hesitated before giving an almost invisible shake of his head. She gasped, it was quiet and he barely heard it, but he felt it. In every bone, he felt her sadness and the sorrow she carried for him. Slowly, as if not to startle him, she lifted her hand, until it was inches away from his chest. “Is…is this okay?” When he gave a slight nod, she gently pressed her hand against his chest, finally tapping him out.
A breath he didn’t realize he had been holding escaped him as he finally turned to properly look at the woman. She was still gazing up at him, a soft smile now replacing the frown on her face.
“Thank you.” She nodded in response before glancing back at her family. When she looked back at Simon, she looked determined. “We’re going out to eat dinner if you’d like to join us?” Simon was about to decline when someone called out to him.
“Oi! Ghost!” He looked up and saw the soldier, now facing him, an arm wrapped around his mother’s shoulder. “Let’s go; my mom says dinner’s on us!” Without waiting for a response, he turned around and started walking toward the car park, his entire family in tow. Simon kept looking after him until a soft, small hand slipped into his own. He glanced down and found the woman smiling up at him.
“Come, my mom doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” And with those words, the woman gently led him to follow her family.
Part 2
A/N: This will be a two-parter. I hope you liked it!
#ghost#ghost x reader#ghost fanfiction#ghost cod#cod#cod fanfiction#cod x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon riley#ghost simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#fanfiction#angst
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( reaction ) bestfriend enhypen being touchy ! ୨୧ 一 엔하이픈 ՞
⸃ ⸰ ⌁ times where bestfriend enhypen gets too touchy ヾ
bestfriend!엔하이픈・ fem!reader g ・ smut cw ・ wc ・ n/a | click to library
request. could you write something about enha's hyung line as best friends with no boundaries? not necessarily yandere, and not even suggestive if you don't want to (though I wouldn't mind), but like that, touchy, needy, everyone thinks they're dating type thing
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope you like it <3
﹙ 𐙚 : heeseung﹚ .ᐟ
heeseung love to play fight with you , simply because he likes when you inevitably give up , and he can flip you over in his bed , pinning your arms down , sometimes his looks linger longer than they should be , hands tightening around your wrist , he's basically straddling you , anyone passing by would think it's soon about turn into something no one wants to see. "he-heeseung careful before someone see's" he smirks.
"see what? aren't we just playing?"
﹙ 𐙚 : jay﹚ .ᐟ
jays hand is always resting on your waist , very low at that , sometimes you have to take is hand , guiding it up just a bit , but it never last long , because his hand is once again low on your waist. "jay people are staring , you're hand his hella low." jay could care less if people were watching , he didn't want anyone to approach you anyway , bringing this hand lower.
"let them think what they want , stop moving i'm comfortable like this , those guys are just jealous anyhow."
﹙ 𐙚 : jake﹚ .ᐟ
jake was extremely needy; even as your best friend, you always found yourself tangled up with him while his hand found it's way up your shirt , rubbing on your bare skin while you scrolled through your phone. "jake your hands are cold." you whined. "your body is warm though , so you're helping me." he looked up at you with puppy eyes , you rolled your eyes. "and your members could walk in at moment and this will look weird to them." you said.
"so what , i need this , just sit here and warm my hands."
﹙ 𐙚 : sunghoon﹚ .ᐟ
another needy boy ; but he'll pretend his need for you isn't affecting him outside with his friends , his hand resting on your thighs , rubbing his thumb on your bare skin as you both hang out with your friends , gripping it. "hoonie stop." you take his hand off of you and the boy has to fight to not whine. he'll definitely confront you once you're alone. "hoon it's not a big deal , plus , what if they think something is going on?"
"that's not my problem, don't take my hand off of your leg again."
©LUVYENI
#enhypen x female reader#enhypen smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen x reader#enhypen reactions#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung x reader#jay park smut#jay park x reader#jake sim smut#jake sim x reader#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut
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