#but rather needs to be accepted and loved but only sees the possibility through power. through being special

[cherrywhite]

So I was going to write this whole thing about Faulkner and how a lot of his character is, at least to me, built on this despairing loneliness and isolation. That part of it stems from having been abandoned by his father and brother (a father that never looked him in the eye, a brother that never came back like he promised). That that loneliness feeds into his desire for a place to belong, to no longer be alone, but its since been twisted into this want for prestige (because there's that rationalization: if he were special, if he had the title and accolades then he'd have had to have made his place somewhere right? Make a home somewhere?). And that's why it was so easy to betray Carpenter the way he did, to weigh it in his hands....

.... but every time I tried to sit down and write coherent, concise thoughts it spiraled into something incomprehensible (see above). BUT I still want to talk about it because this podcast makes me so ill every other Thursday.

[hero-the-meep]

Why is the Doctor making Donna a cup of coffee so significant?

Well, he is trying to impress her, to get her to travel with him again – like he tried to do by using the TARDIS to make it snow at Christmas the first time he asked her to travel with him.

But he got that attempt wrong. Donna doesn't like Christmas, and the Doctor having the power to make it snow "scared her to death."

A cup of coffee, just how she likes it, is (on the surface of it) a smaller gesture to show that he remembered the little details about her. A cup of coffee is what brought them together all those years ago.

But it's what Donna told the Doctor about what Lance making her that cup of coffee meant to her that the Doctor really listened to and remembered.

"I was temping. I mean, it was all a bit posh, really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought, I'm never going to fit in here. And then he made me a cup of coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee. "And Lance, he's the Head of HR, he didn't need to bother with me. But he was nice, he was funny. And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So, that's how it started, me and him. One cup of coffee, and that was it."

Donna fell in love with Lance because he made her a cup of coffee. So used to being unnoticed and uncared for, something as simple as an 'important' man taking the time to make her a cup of coffee meant everything to Donna.

She thought it was a sign that he was kind, that he was nice. She thought it was a sign he noticed and cared for her.

And the Doctor sees how it devastates her to learn the real reason why he was making her coffee was to drug her for his own ends. Despite their differences, he's gentle when he breaks it to her. And it connects her to him in a shared grief.

So when the Doctor makes her a cup of coffee after she regains her memories, he's not just telling her that he remembers the little details about her like how she likes her coffee, but the big things too.

He's showing that he sees her, that he cares about her thoughts and feelings, that he wants to care for her after all these years when he couldn't. That he knows how important this is to her.

But that's not all.

In the alternative timeline, Donna never meets Lance. And yet, when she is upset, and afraid, she asks Rose Tyler for a cup of coffee. Steam rises from her mug as they stand around the console inside the dying TARDIS, and have the most honest conversation they've had yet about the Doctor and their feelings towards him.

In the proper timeline, the person we see Donna drinking coffee with is Wilf. In moments of joy and moments of upset they bond over coffee. Before she finds the Doctor again, Donna brings Wilf a thermos to escape Sylvia's criticisms.

Wilf is the only person in Donna's life who she can be herself around, who has unconditionally cared for her, and who she takes joy in caring for back.

Even in the alternative timeline, Wilf has held onto not only the telescope but the exact same thermos Donna brings him coffee in when he's up on the hill.

For the Doctor to remember how she takes her coffee, we know they must have had moments together like this off-screen too.

So when the Doctor makes her a cup of coffee, just how she likes it, he is communicating he remembers not just the small details of her but that he remembers all these things that she associates with making someone a cup of coffee – kindness, acceptance, being noticed, caring for someone and being cared for, home, and family.

It's possible, for the Doctor, there's an apology in that cup of coffee too.

But wait, there's still more.

Did Donna spill the cup of coffee on the console on purpose?

The slight of hand was rather obvious. And it came at a time when Donna was trying to convince him not to leave her, to come back home to her, if only just for a visit.

He'd not said no, but she'd easily seen through him the first time he lied about coming inside to have dinner with her family that first Christmas, and likely saw through him again – the avoidance of eye contact, fiddling with the TARDIS, the wane "yeah, maybe."

She also rather clearly wanted to go on another trip with him (she never wanted to stop in the first place), and was only saying no because of her obligations to her family. It's possible she was buying time by spilling the cup of coffee – just one more than one last trip, without it being her "fault."

She had, after all, just dropped a cup of coffee on a computer and lost a job she'd probably hated, knowing Donna. And before things had gone really wrong, she'd definitely been enjoying herself.

It's also possible she's still quite angry with the Doctor, but unable to fully verbalise this yet.

He connects the cup of coffee to remembering every detail of her. She has not been able to remember any detail of her life with him. The last time they were standing around the console together, he took her memories against her will. He says it killed him; but she – or that version of herself, the one she actually liked – was arguably the one who was killed.

And she might be remembering Lance, another man she truly loved and trusted, and how a cup of coffee seemed like a kindness but was in fact a lie, a violation.

The Doctor quite possibly also suspects something like this is what might have happened, given his level of anger at her.

Despite the fact that this Doctor is more able to admit his feelings, we don't see what happened between them when he took her memories ever properly resolved in words.

Instead, there are a series of proxy arguments that stand in for it – Donna's anger that she gave away all her money because of him, that he sees taking the slow path, living a life day after day as such agony when he made her do it, his anger at her faith that he will know how to defeat the Toy Maker.

And their most emotional proxy argument of all – who is at fault for stranding them at the edge of the universe? Is it Donna, who spilt the cup of coffee, or the Doctor, who she couldn't stop from wandering off?

Thematically, however, there is some resolution. The Doctor lets Donna decide to regain her memories, even if it means she'll die. The Doctor knows Donna enough to save her from being left to die alone, even if it is at the very last moment. The Doctor admits he used to think he knew everything, but now he knows he doesn't.

Donna gets to tell him it's not all about him saving her, gets him to stop, finally gets him to come home with her.

And in their last scene, it's the Doctor who is having the cup of coffee.

[astrolocherry]

Birthday Venus-Saturn aspects ~ "Your Daddy Loves You..."

Written by Astrolocherry

Venus conjunct Saturn, Venus sextile Saturn, Venus square Saturn, Venus trine Saturn, Venus opposite Saturn

The individual born with Venus forming aspect to Saturn is gifted a double-banded commitment ring from Saturn. Therein contains a promise that while partnership may be potentially timeworn and difficult to find in this lifetime, when the love eventually comes it will be greater than anything she could have imagined. She may have distant fantasies or longings about her ideal partner, but never completely entertains these as actual possibilities, often due to an inherent sense of worthlessness or being undeserving with matters of the heart. Something happens during the developmental phase of life that breaks this heart before it has fully formed. It is sensitive, scarred, and often bandaged in the protective defences that cut her off from accepting the affection and attention that she can’t admit is much needed. In traditional astrology, Venus is the portion of our consciousness that beholds our eye of beauty, femininity, aesthetic, and style. The shadow of Saturn leering over Venus often produces an apathy and at worst, a revulsion regarding her own self-image of beauty. 

Despite feeling so disconnected and detached from her feminine side, the individual with a Venus-Saturn aspect is divinely feminine in its most timeless, antiqued, resiliently elegant, and everlasting archetypal form. It is a lifelong reunion between the inner Fairy Godmother, and the little girl inside who is enslaved to those leftover feelings of being defective, unattractive, and impossible to love. It is until this reunion occurs, or in the worst case scenarios when the inner work has been left incomplete and it never happens at all, that the individual experiences the traditional Venus-Saturn suffering in love that we would expect. These conditions may result in a choice of relationship partners and dynamics that reflect and play-out the sentiments of the little girl inside rather than the woman, and may involve themes of relegation, power imbalances, mistreatment, and re-casting father figures. There may also be some form of self-imposed entrapment in relationships, something inside that stops her from walking out an open door.

The traditional Venus-Saturn age-gap in love and attraction to older people may be one relationship theme that prevails through life. However, as she grows older and wiser, she will often come to recognise this attraction being shaped by different needs and desires that are more authentic and ultimately satisfying. As she becomes less beheld to old conditions, the need is less for paternal fulfilment and redemption . This could be a young soul or an old soul - her attraction to older people has never been about that. It’s rather about a depth that this heart possesses, a serene, dewy, alluringly tragic wisdom and insight that is decades older than its years, searching for somebody who could possibly understand this, at times confusing age for inner experience.

With her poised and intriguing interactive style, she is often readily complimented and admired by friends, colleagues, superiors, and strangers alike. And while she hears the sentiments quite clearly, she barely absorbs a word. She appreciates the genuineness, but she cannot feel a thing, and she won’t until that girl is back in the arms of the Enchanted Elder inside. Breaking their spell of separation repairs her broken heart. She slowly embraces her femininity, and a pageant of Feminine Priestesses embrace her back, and once she starts seeing and styling herself in this way - the real show of Who She is really begins. This is also often when the first chapters of life’s true love story only just begin. A growing comfort and confidence, a silver Saturn glow that may have seen its shadows, yet there blooms a Venus rose that is everlasting and can never die without sunlight.

Cherry

[elysiansparadise]

hi there!! I love your work and I would love to hear your take on Jupiter in the 11th house!

have a wonderful day ❤️

Hello love, I appreciate your words, thank you very much. I hope you have a wonderful day too. ❤️

Jupiter in the 11th house

They are people who see friendship as a gift and they treasure it as such. This placement shows us not only a good friend with whom you have fun and can't stop laughing, but a friend who will do everything in their power to understand you and support you when you need it most. Natives are very altruistic, empathetic people with an inclination to help and support those who they consider need it. They are generous with their time and resources, and often feel called to support their friends and those in their circle. Tendencies to be popular or easily influence other people, they can be that typical friend that everyone turns to if they need advice, since they usually have the role of mentor. Whether extroverted or not, they naturally evoke a welcoming aura and easily make you feel accepted and appreciated. They can attract a lot of luck after helping other people, and they can even attract friendships that benefit and support them a lot [if Jupiter makes good aspects]. If they decide to work in something related to social media, they can get great support from the community and become influential, especially if Pluto, Sun or Moon are making positive aspects.

These people can obtain a lot of profits through their work, accumulating a lot of money, prestige and success. They usually stand out for their ambition and that vision of wanting to achieve great things. They dream big and many of them tend to put many demands on their shoulders. If you make a tense aspect to Mars, it is even possible that they want to achieve a lot in a short time. These people look after the common good, they do what they consider to be right at all times. Many of them can put their ego aside knowing when to leave their most personal desires for later, it should be noted that they know how to deal with people. They are people who take the time to truly understand people and give them attention and encouragement. These people take the time to think about how their actions or words will impact other people, they see beyond their own bubble and have a healthy degree of empathy and compassion. They are excellent at working as a team, because although they find satisfaction in doing their part well, they know how to support and guide others. They are people with a lot of gratitude, they know how to recognize and appreciate the efforts of other people. They really like to contribute to their closest circles, they prefer to spread messages that really support improvement rather than destructive or baseless criticism.

This is one of the most open-minded positions of Jupiter, as it makes the natives not close themselves in their own world where the correct thing is what they know, but rather encourages them to investigate and learn to change and question their perspectives, with the sole purpose of being able to generate theirs. They have that need to expand their visions of the world and nourish their thirst for knowledge. Despite the popularity of these natives and their unique charm, they tend to seek friendships with whom they can overcome those gaps of superficiality, deep friendships that contribute positively to their lives and teach them interesting things. A friendship where there is a fun and exciting bond, but also the quality of a constant companion who supports them as much as they do. They seek to nourish themselves with good, new things and pleasant sensations, so they will hate to create unnecessary drama or this hyper-competitive attitude with friends, opting instead to support each other and be able to rely on each other, while enjoying their company.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[tomriddleslove]

Forgotten once again.

✩Tom Riddle x Reader

Summary: The one where Tom isn’t capable of love, but you thought you could change that. Alternatively: Possesiveness and Love become the same thing.

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this one because Tom’s character is sm fun to write. It’s interesting because despite my delusions I couldn’t ever imagine him being capable of loving someone, and if he did it would be like this. Also this is probably the last time i’ll post for the next three weeks!

Warnings: Toxic Relationships, mentions of manipulation, violence (towards others). Generally about a very toxic and unhealthy relationship so please do not read if you’re triggered by anything to do with this! My inbox is always open if you ever need someone to talk to 🫶🏼.

Songs: Leaving Tonight - The Neighbourhood

Spectre - Radiohead

Tom Riddle was many things.

For one, he was ambitious. He would achieve whatever he so desired. If he had the means to do it, it would be done immediately. If he did not, well...

He would find the means to do so. Because Tom Riddle achieved whatever he so desired.

He was also charismatic.

Tom had a natural charisma that drew people to him. Whether through his charm, intelligence, or a combination of both, he had a magnetic presence that captivated those around him. This charisma played a significant role in his ability to influence and manipulate others to further his ambitions.

Tom Riddle was brilliant. Gifted with a sharp mind and a keen understanding of magic, he excelled in his studies. His intelligence, coupled with his ambition, allowed him to delve into dark magic and ancient mysteries, seeking knowledge and power that others might shy away from.

Tom Riddle was many things, but there was only one thing he lacked.

Perhaps it was karma, some form of divine intervention, his hamartia, that it was this very thing that would be his downfall in the years to come.

Tom was many things, but loving was not one of them.

Tom Riddle was not loving. No - he was not capable of love.

Tom Riddle, was incapable of experiencing genuine love due to being conceived under the influence of a love potion, not true love. The circumstances of Tom’s conception were marked by coercion and manipulation, as his mother, Merope Gaunt, used a love potion to attract and bind Tom Riddle Sr. to her. It was artificial and devoid of true affection. This was a concrete and inexplicably tragic detail that meant Tom Riddle simply was not physically capable of reciprocating love.

Key word, reciprocating. For, it was very much possible for someone to fall in love with Tom. A cruel thing it would be, for one cannot simply love Lucifer himself and expect to be loved in return. Tom Riddle's incapacity for reciprocating love stemmed from a profound emotional void rather than an inability to elicit affection from others.

This fact was a cruel truth that you only chose to accept once it was too late. One does not simply get involved with Tom Riddle, and come out unscathed.

Tom never cared for love, really. To him, it was just some sort of transaction or tool, something to be manipulated for his own benefit. Love, in Tom Riddle's eyes, was a means to an end rather than an intrinsic value. It was a sentiment that he observed in others but never truly felt himself.

Love, however, seemed to be the most raw, human thing in existence. It was everything we hated, yet also everything we loved. It unravelled our deepest insecurities, it brought things to the surface that we had long pushed to the side. It required us to lay ourselves, bare, for the other to see. Love made us tolerate the very worst of things, love made us hate the very best of things.

Many things can be complementary in life. Love was not one of them. It was overpowering, consuming. It changed who you were.

Love was the beginning of life and the end of it. Love was part of being human.

Tom lacking this fundamentally crucial aspect of the human experience may have been the very thing that led him to despise his humanity.

When Tom had met you, it was slightly different. A puzzle piece that didn't quite fit but intrigued him nonetheless.

You were undeniably talented, a mind that had its worth. You had this air of arrogance, and whilst Tom hated unbacked arrogance, you had the means to justify it. You were self-assured, and he found it to be somewhat refreshing compared to the other people he knew (who unashamedly sucked up to him.) You didn’t fall for his tricks immediately, which made him all the more agitated, and intrigued. Rather, you seemed to enjoy being with Tom most when he’d drop the ‘perfect and polite’ facade he had. You valued honesty and bluntness, two things Tom did not do (After all, how would he gain the trust of others if he truthfully told them he planned on using every single one of them?)

However, the more time he spent with you, the more he found that he fed into what you liked. And somehow, to his dismay, he found some sort of sick satisfaction in it. He enjoyed seeing you actively seek out his presence, and as much as it went against what Tom believed, he liked the validation of having people want to be associated with him. It was a testament to how he longed to be known, to be admired. He observed, learned, and dissected your intricacies, seeing you not as an individual but as a canvas upon which he could project his desires.

He soon grew very used to you, and he didn't absolutely loathe you. As the days unfolded into months, and the months unfolded into years, a semblance of tolerance took root. He played the part, masking his true intentions beneath a veneer of charm. Tolerance morphed into a twisted form of acknowledgement — an acknowledgement that you held a role in his future ambitions, his ultimate goal.

After all, that's all he ever did anything for, right? His goals, His desires. His needs.

The evolution was subtle but insidious. What began as a detached fascination transformed into a possessive need. Tom, driven by an insatiable hunger for control, found satisfaction in manipulating the threads of your existence. Obsession seeped into every crevice of his thoughts. Your every action became a challenge to him, something for him to understand, something he wanted to have control over. His infatuation stemmed from a desire to have control, to claim your very being, to possess you like some sort of artefact in his prized possessions.

Whilst you may have been immune to Tom’s charm when you first met, you certainly weren't without your weakness. After all, Tom always got what he wanted, and if he didn't have the means to do so, he'd find it.

He became fluent in his ways of understanding you, observing every little thing you did. He dissected the very core of your being till he was sure there was nothing he wouldn't know. Casual conversations about schoolwork in the depths of the library turned to confessions about your life as the hours passed. Tom preyed on your vulnerability, sowing seeds of doubt into your mind.

He agreed with you when you expressed your frustrations at your friends, he encouraged your rash actions. He told you what you wanted to hear, and made it seem as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

As everything he did, each word he spoke was carefully calculated, a thread sewn in the fabric of your fucked up relationship, binding him inexplicably closer to you without even realising.

He pointed out things, seemingly from a place of concern, making you distance yourself from your friends. He highlighted instances where your friends might have let you down, carefully framing himself as the only steadfast pillar in your life. Tom was everything you could have needed; he understood you, and he made you feel seen.

He was selective about what he let you know. He let you know he had grown up in a children’s home, and that his mother had died. Trust was a two-way thing, and you were smart enough to detect when it wasn’t being reciprocated. He let you see what he wanted to see, for no human was perfect, and he needed you to see he had his imperfections if he wanted you to trust him.

He needed to make it seem as though you made him feel seen too.

Tom had been sitting in your room, working with you on a transfiguration assignment you both had been set. Cross-legged on your bed, he still remembers how you had sat down next to him, visibly frustrated.

Tom, ever attuned to you, asked whether you were ok because that's what someone who cared for you did. He didn't care greatly though, not in a selfless way. Rather, he needed you to know that he was the only person who knew you, the only person you needed.

You opened up about what had happened, explaining how your friends had betrayed your trust, and how they seemed to misunderstand you, leaving you feeling isolated and vulnerable. Tom, feigning empathy with expert precision, listened intently, absorbing every detail like a sponge. You began crying because it all became too much.

You never thought Tom would comfort you. You believed he'd perhaps pat your back, or assure you it was all fine. What you didn't expect, was for Tom to draw you in, to wrap his arms around you, and pull you into his chest. You didn't expect him to soothe you, and rub your back as he uttered words of comfort into your ear, seemingly shielding you from the emotions that had been weighing you down.

You didn't expect to feel safe, to feel protected. If only you knew the only thing you needed protection from, was Tom himself.

You felt special. You knew it was not in Tom's nature to do so. You had no idea how vile of a person he truly was, but you understood he was avoidant of sentiment or affection. For him to have been so tender, made you feel loved.

It was only ever bound to go downhill from there.

It was only natural that you had fallen in love with him. From there it all somewhat became a blur. In between the lines, the illusion of love was beginning to waver. Graduating from Hogwarts, you no longer held those ambitions you once had. Your plans seemed now to be a distant memory, a past life. You had Tom, and that was all that mattered.

Tom had gotten his job at Borgin and Burkes. You moved in with him. You ignored the pleas of concern from those who were near and dear to you, who Tom hadn’t managed to isolate you from.

Tom convinced you that they did not have your best interest in mind, that they didn’t like him because he was a poor orphan, working a salesperson job. He had earlier convinced you he had his insecurities about his past, and he used that to make you believe the people around you were prejudiced, that they didn't care for your happiness but rather their status being affected by who they associated with. No one would want to be acquainted with the girl who loved the charity case.

You believed him. You couldn't fathom why they didn’t like Tom. You shut them out.

It was rather terrifying seeing how quickly Tom could snuff out your fiery flame, and reduce you down to someone who became dependent on him. You rarely left the house, your life revolved around what Tom wanted, and how Tom felt.

He left you teetering on the precipe of unhappiness, fulfilling your needs to the point where you couldn’t complain for fear of seeming ungrateful, unloving.

He would neglect you, coming back from work to lock himself in your bedroom, pouring over books and writings. He wasn’t who he used to be, caring, affectionate, loving.

Shame on you for assuming you could make Tom capable of love.

His neglect pierced your soul, and when you mustered the courage to voice your needs, he snapped at you for bothering him. Tom's transformation into an emotionally distant stranger left you in a state of perpetual uncertainty.

At times, you resolved to leave him, but Tom had a knack for sensing your unrest. As though he could read your mind, he returned with offerings and apologies, painting himself as the troubled victim and casting you as the ungrateful perpetrator. Guilt became the shackle that bound you, and his apologies only deepened the wounds.

Tom, in those fleeting moments of remorse, would momentarily embody the man you had fallen in love with. You cooked dinner together. He’ d play with your hair as you read, and he fucked you as if he truly did love you. Yet, the morning after, the bed would be empty, and the reality of your entangled existence with Tom would once again sink in.

He began leaving for work earlier and coming back later. You began to doubt whether it was because of work, the day he came back reeking of dark magic.

You were undeniably clever, after all, that was what had sparked Tom’s obsession with you in the first place, and so it didn’t take long for you to connect the dots. Tom’s friends back in Hogwarts seemed more like devotees than anything else. This, coupled with him spending countless hours reading through books he wouldn't let you see, and his sudden late hours suggested to you he was dappling in dark things.

You weren't wrong, per se, but Tom was far beyond dappling in dark things. He had become the image of corruption itself.

The cycle persisted, a disheartening repetition of highs and lows that left you questioning your worth and the authenticity of the connection you had with Tom. His intermittent displays of affection, punctuated by periods of neglect and manipulation, became the norm. The more you yearned for stability, the deeper you sank into the quicksand of your toxic relationship.

You couldn't pinpoint exactly where neglect turned into heated words. Arguments turning more and more intense. Slammed doors became broken porcelain, yet the remorseful embraces remained the same.

The outside world, once filled with friends and dreams, now seemed like a distant echo. Tom had successfully eroded the foundations of your past life, isolating you from the support systems that could have provided a lifeline. His poisonous whispers had convinced you that only he truly cared for you, painting the rest of the world as indifferent or antagonistic.

The empty mornings and hollow apologies continued, and you slowly began to realise the love you once believed in had become a warped caricature, and the person you had fallen for had let his obsession manifest into your relationship, seeping through the feeble foundations.

The crisp air of Hogsmeade offered a welcome escape from the suffocating atmosphere of the shared home with Tom. As you strolled through the quaint village, a familiar face caught your eye – Elizabeth, your closest friend from Hogwarts. A twinge of nostalgia mixed with apprehension as you approached her.

"Hey, Elizabeth," you greeted, attempting a smile.

Her response was guarded, her eyes revealing a mixture of concern and wariness. "Hello. Long time no see."

You sensed a tension in the air as you tried to engage in small talk, but Elizabeth's words soon cut through the facade. "Look, What happened? You dropped off the face of the earth, and it's like you vanished after graduation. In our last year, you completely ignored all of us."

A knot tightened in your stomach as you fumbled for an explanation. "I... things have been complicated. I've been busy."

Elizabeth's expression softened, and she sighed. "Busy? More like completely consumed. We all missed you, you know? But you acted like we don't even exist. What happened to the person we used to know?"

You frown, crossing your arms. “Missed me? I only stopped talking to you because you all acted weird around me.” You respond, defensively.

“No, we didn't. You got angry at us when we told you we were worried for you. You rarely went out with us, you were always too busy elsewhere.” She corrected, and you felt a frustration bubble within you.

“No, it didn’t really seem like that. You all isolated me and the only person I had left was Tom. It was only natural that I wouldn't want to go back to being friends with you after that.” You snap.

Elizabeth's eyes widened, sympathy replacing her earlier frustration. "Tom? Are you serious? He's the one who isolated you, not us. We've been worried sick about you. You're not the same person anymore."

Who did she think she was? She knew nothing about the two of you, let alone what your relationship was like. Tom was right, these people had it out for you. They didn't care for you, not at all.

“You don't know what our relationship is like Elizabeth, so I suggest you stop making assumptions.” You hiss, glaring at her.

"We cared, but you pushed us away," Elizabeth explained gently. "You were so wrapped up in whatever was going on with Tom that you stopped caring about anyone else. It's not healthy, and we were genuinely concerned."

Elizabeth reached out to comfort you. "Listen, I know it's tough, but you need to reevaluate your situation. Staying with Tom isn't healthy, and you're not alone. My door is always open if you need somewhere to stay or someone to talk to.” She says, fumbling around in her pockets. She pulls out a receipt and hastily scribbles down an address, thrusting it into your hand. She gives you one last look of pity, and you feel enraged. You immediately apparate back home, you didn't have time for this foolishness.

You apparate back home, the confrontation with Elizabeth leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. The hastily scribbled address clutched in your hand feels like an unwanted invitation, an intrusion into the carefully constructed reality that Tom has woven around you.

As you step into the shared home, the atmosphere is unsettling. Tom is hunched over a dark tome, his eyes flickering up to meet yours as you enter.

"Where have you been?" he questions, the softness of his tone belying the underlying intensity.

You toss your coat aside, frustration boiling beneath the surface. "Out. I needed a break from all this," you retort, the words laced with the anger that has been building up.

A dangerous glint enters Tom's eyes, his composure slipping. "A break? Is that how you see it? Is it a burden to you?"

"Yes, Tom! I don’t know what’s gone wrong? One day you’re fin and the next you’re acting as though i’m a nuisance to your being," you snap, the resentment in your voice cutting through the room.

His posture stiffens, and a quiet threat laces his words. "Oh really?"

Your anger flares, a defiant fire pushing back against his dominance. "Guess who I saw today, hmm?" You seethe, venom lingering in your tone.

A momentary confusion flickers in Tom's eyes. "Who?" he questions, wondering how this could be relevant to the conversation.

"Elizabeth," you declare, watching his reaction closely.

Tom's expression darkens, and a cold tension settles in the room. "What does she have to do with anything?" He retorts, stepping closer to you.

"She told me a few things, Tom. About how I've distanced myself from everyone, how they were worried, and you know what struck me?" you press on, your anger finding a new target.

His eyes narrow, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "What?"

"That I believed it was my friends who had abandoned me, but in reality, it's been you isolating me all along," you accuse, the realization fueling your rage. You jab your finger into his chest as you speak.

Tom's composure wavers, but he quickly recovers. "I've been protecting you. You can't trust them. They're trying to pull you away from me."

"Stop. Stop it, Tom. Have the decency to acknowledge I'm not that fucking stupid. I know what you're trying to do,” You say, voice cracking. You resist the urge to shield your ears, his words burrowing their way into you as he attempts to trivialise your worries, making you out to be the irrational one.

Tom frowns, and the sight of you beginning to doubt him had bile riding in the back of his throat. H reaches out, hands holding onto your shoulders as he urges you to look at him.

“They’re lying to you. They’re trying to pull you away from me again! Can't you see this? Why do you believe them over me?” He says, voice pleading with you in fake desperation, the lengths he was willing to go to to ensure he could continue to possess you were unthinkable.

“Enough. Im fucking done. You’re so fucked up, Tom. You never loved me, did you? You only ever wanted to own me, to control me. Tell me, was it worth it? Was it ever fucking worth it, spending 5 years of your life weaving this tapestry of bullshit just so you could keep me locked up in here?” You snap, grabbing your coat.

Tom's pleading expression transforms into a cold mask, and a sinister calm settles over him. "You think you can just leave? You're mine, and you'll stay. I won't let you go." He utters.

The realization of his true nature, the toxicity of the relationship, fuels your determination. "Watch me,” You hiss.

As you move toward the door, his grip on control slips further, and an unsettling mix of rage and desperation flashes in his eyes. "You'll regret this. You'll come crawling back. You always come back." He says. You take a single look at him before slamming the door and walking off.

One cannot simply dance with the devil, and change him. He always changes you.

Tom Riddle was far beyond the devil.

You wondered if for once in your life God had been on your side when you had that chance encounter with Elizabeth. Despite your harsh words, she had accepted you into her home with open arms. The weight of the past five years settles heavily on your shoulders, and the enormity of what you've lost becomes painfully clear. You were young, so damn young, and you’d been living as a glorified prisoner, trapped by the very thing that was meant to liberate you.

But love was ugly, wasn't it? It made you tolerate the bad, it made you irrational. Love could bare its teeth into your neck, and you'd let it, for love was ugly.

It was ugly, but it was not macabre.

Tom knew where you were. Tom always did. It was already established that Tom always got what he wanted. He wanted you, and he found a way to ensure that.

At first, he did not bother you.

He believed you would come back to him, as you so often did. But when a week had passed and you had not reappeared as you always did, beautiful face flushed red, eyes glossy with tears as you wordlessly stepped in and fell back into normality, he began to worry.

If it came to any relief to you, which it might have, Tom believed he loved you. What you had was a far cry from love, an echo of what it should have been. But in the mind of he who cannot love, this is what he believed it to be. One could only wonder whether everything would have been different if he actually knew what love was. But he didn't, and he never would, so he was left with some sort of fucked up obsession that he believed was love.

Tom felt a gnawing emptiness that only intensified with your departure.

Again, he loved you, if one could call it love. It was a sick, twisted version of affection that demanded ownership. In his distorted reality, your existence became an extension of his own, a possession he couldn't bear to lose. The mere thought of you breaking free ignited a desperate panic within him.

He needed you like a drowning man gasping for air, clinging to the last vestiges of sanity.

Schopenhauer believed that the will, a blind and irrational force, dominated human behaviour. Love, according to Schopenhauer, was an expression of the will's desire.

Tom felt this indescribable gap in his life without you there, as though he simply wasn’t complete without you. The old him would have hated to admit it, but he needed you, and his need for you grew from a sickly infatuation to a desperate yearning. Love, in his distorted reality, meant ownership, and he was losing his grip.

It was a rather bleak evening, and you had a horrible feeling in your stomach as you sat on the sofa of Elizabeth’s living room, where you had been presiding for the past week.

How cruel it was, that you and Tom were so attuned to one another.

You somehow knew it was Tom without needing to see them.

As Tom had resonated with the words of Schopenhauer, you had resonated with the words of Plato. For you, love could not be controlled. Instead, it was a divine madness that took hold of individuals, transcending rational thought and choice.

You had often thought that was a beautiful thing. However, when it was love that was causing your demise, it no longer felt beautiful.

Elizabeth comes down the stairs and raises a brow when she sees you perched on the edge of the sofa, staring blankly off into the distance. She eyes you apprehensively as she opens the door.

That voice. It simultaneously sent dread coursing through you, and butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Come back now. It's been far too long.” Tom says, his voice oh so tempting.

“Seriously? You think you can get her back with that bullshit?” Elizabeth snaps, standing at the door.

Tom, however, remains fixated on you, as if Elizabeth's words were mere background noise. Ignoring her comments, he continues, his eyes piercing into your conflicted gaze.

"Stop this. Come back. It's where you belong," he urges, the words carrying a persuasive weight that had once held you captive.

Elizabeth's frustration peaked as she turned to face you, pleading in her eyes. "Don't listen to him. He's toxic, and you don't need that in your life. You deserve so much more."

Tom's eyes bore into yours, his tone silky but insistent. "You don't belong in our business, Elizabeth. You’re as meddlesome as you were in school. She knows where she belongs."

You remain silent.

"He's killing you. Can't you see that?" Elizabeth's voice held a mixture of concern and frustration.

But Tom's voice slithered through the air once more, persuasive and relentless. "Come to me.” His words echoed a twisted sense of possessiveness, yet held such allure, spoken tenderly, enough to convince you it would be fine.

You clench your fists, nails digging into your skin. You stand up, letting out a shuddery breath. You walk towards the door.

“Fuck, stop! You don't need to go! Don't act like you have nowhere to go! I've given you my home, I’ve let you stay. Stop going back!” Elizabeth says, frustration laced in her voice.

How easy it is to claim you simply need to just “stop”, and it would all be fine.

It was never that simple. Tom's presence was poison, yet it was also the air you breathed. You had only known Tom for what felt like aeons, and you had shut everyone who questioned you out. All you had was Tom, all you ever would have is Tom.

He was home, a twisted kind that keeps you warm while slowly suffocating the life out of you.

As you walked back into his outstretched arms, a sense of numb acceptance settled over you. The outside world ceased to matter; the only reality was the one with Tom.

It wasn't love as the poets wrote or the philosophers pondered. Yet, in its ugliness, it was the only reality you knew.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around. Like a serpent, his embrace constricts around you, possessive and suffocating. You lean into him, feeling the coldness of his touch seep into your skin. It's oddly warming though, as paradoxical as it seemed.

"Where else would you go, my love?" he whispers, the sweetness of the endearment masking the toxicity beneath.

The serpent and its prey, bound in a perverse waltz of dependence and decay, disappear into the shadows, and the world outside is forgotten once again.

[i-am-mldy]

Back to my nalu brainrot years later so here are my headcanons on how nalu should develop if Mashima actually writes them properly:

Lucy sees Natsu as her best friend but does think there could be potential for more. She just actively pushes the idea away because it doesn't seem possible. She doesn't want to wait around for him and waste time, so she's long accepted how they currently are. It's not so bad anyway, cus their friendship is just as valuable to her. She doesn't need anything different as of now.

Natsu doesn't really think much about romance, relationships, etc. But he's not an idiot (canon you have no power here). All he knows is that Lucy is different than his other friends. Aside from Happy, he likes being around her the most. He doesn't really think about kids, but finds himself daydreaming about having one with Lucy, which he does not do with the other FT girls. He's scared to lose all his friends, but the thought of losing Lucy sticks around the most. She's different to him, he knows that, but struggles to figure it out because it's all new to him

Idgaf what the manga says. Natsu still likes pranking Lucy but has grown considerate of her. Lucy, however, learned from him and pranks him back. It has become a game now of who can tease the other better. Lucy likes playing around with her best friend, while Natsu just loves seeing her smile.

Happy has seen a change in Natsu in his treatment and feelings towards Lucy but doesn't know how to bring it up. He also sees Lucy's lingering looks of longing that she adeptly cuts short whenever someone notices. He'd rather they figure it out for themselves.

Their development would be gradual (but not nonexistent as it is in the damn manga). No dramatic confessions, just a bit of pushing from Lucy and a bit of opening up from Natsu. Lucy finds herself wanting to be closer bit by bit despite her earlier reservations, as Natsu's slowly figuring out how he feels for Lucy. Fortunately, Natsu doesn't need to say much for Lucy to understand what he means.

Their dynamic stays the same, just more mature and emotionally intimate. It comes to a point where they don't really need to verbalize it to know they're both it for each other, their first and last, forever.

At this point, the pda really begins. How Natsu teases Lucy now is outright flirting and dirty jokes, which flusters Lucy every time, especially when they're with the team. Lucy soon discovered that the best way to get back at him was through physical flirting — running her hands across his chest and stomach, playing with his hair, touching his neck. It drives him absolutely crazy and she loves it.

Natsu's protectiveness now bleeds beyond their fights against enemies and into simple social encounters with other people who so much as look at Lucy weirdly. This annoys her, but inside, she finds it sweet and attractive. On the other hand, Lucy tries to act nonchalant whenever she's jealous in order to save face, but the team can clearly see through her facade. Natsu, unfortunately, constantly misses all the hints, so Lucy ends up conceding anyway.

If they were attached at the hip before, they're absolutely glued to each other now. Natsu outright refuses to go anywhere without Lucy, and only she can convince him otherwise. The two now always share a bed/sleeping mat. Whenever they walk around, their hands are always intertwined. The most shocking of all, Natsu shares his food with Lucy; lets her take a bite from his plate all the time.

He tried to get into reading for her but quickly got bored of it, so she thought of reading to him instead. This seems to be much more effective, to the point the two often discuss their thoughts on what they're currently reading. This almost always turns into heated debates, with Lucy repeatedly trying to explain her point with solid evidence from the text, and Natsu just not getting it.

In that same vein, Lucy offers to spar against him. What Lucy lacks in physical strength, she makes up for with tact and sheer magical prowess, so they're often evenly matched, with Natsu winning the most by just a small margin mainly due to his stamina. Regardless, what matters most to him is how much fun he has with her. Also, their sparring helps him with his impulsiveness and temper since he has a safe outlet for his pent-up energy now.

It took a while for their teammates to adjust to their evolved dynamic. They're mostly shocked that Natsu had the brains to even make a move, but they can see how the two have matured with each other. Hence, they're truly happy for them.

Years down the line, Lucy moves into his house, which he spent months renovating to accommodate her. The first few months are pure chaos as they adjust to sharing the same space, with Natsu increasing his pranks and Lucy trying to avoid every single one, and Lucy constantly wanting to rearrange furniture and Natsu grumbling as he mostly does the heavy lifting, but both cannot express enough how happy they are to share a home.

The thought of proposing just suddenly comes to Natsu one day. After pondering on it for a few days, he asks her out of the blue as they're idling in the house. Lucy is shocked, stares at him, then laughs out loud when she realizes he's 100% serious. He gets flustered and self-conscious as she's doubling over, but before he can ask what is so funny, she kisses him and says yes. He grins and hugs her tightly as they laugh and kiss.

They have a simple ceremony near the guild, but things quickly turn chaotic as their friends from all over visit to witness the ceremony. Their honeymoon is spent traveling and adventuring. They pull a Sasuke and Sakura by coming home with baby Nasha OR with Lucy heavily pregnant because she wants to give birth in the guild. Either pushes the entire guild into absolute chaos, but the two wouldn't have it any other way.

Will add more soon! Feel free to comment and add your own

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XXVII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. Firearms/injuries mentioned.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, Part XIX, Part XX, Part XXI, Part XXII, Part XXIII, Part XXIV, Part XXV, Part XXVI

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You closed the shoji door rather roughly and walked away in a bothered, quick pace only stopping when your shoes reached grass.

Despite how insulting the whole meeting with the Zen’in elders had been, was leaving like this the wisest choice?

Probably not, but you could not care less at that moment.

“You look displeased,” the voice of Naoya, accompanied by his unhurried steps through the wooden floor of the engawa, called behind you.

You did not turn around. “And you sound a bit too pleased with yourself.”

“Would it be a crime if I were?”

What Naoya really wondered was would Gojo Satoru be bothered enough to come after them for upsetting you?

He was no fool; he never believed you would accept an invitation into his family. He did not consider you worthy of it either, but the elders had insisted on trying to buy you. A means to an end, they had said.

The whole set up was meant to secure them an opportunity to negotiate with Gojo. His protégé for his lover.

It’s a stupid plan if you ask me, Naoya thought.

He had certain respect for Gojo’s power, for he was the type of man who could and would dirty his hands if it had meaning, if it meant keeping everything. But the elders’ hope was that, just like a few years ago, Gojo Satoru had been civil enough to, as peacefully as possible, arrange the custody of Toji’s son, he would again, trade that same child for your freedom.

“Is that the point of this? To get a reaction out of me?” Naoya heard you ask in a frustrated tone. But you knew it was not that.

They had offered you an obscene fortune and what might have been considered a shortcut to success for your career as a sorcerer, besides a few other ‘benefits’ that would ‘put your family on the map’ of the jujutsu world and pull them out of ‘their inferior condition’.

As if I wanted that… As if we needed their condescendence.

You had been firm when rejecting them, and the air had turned ominous back there when you had left clear you had no intention of entertaining such proposal further.

“Don’t flatter yourself. My siblings have bad taste in partners that’s all.” Naoya was now standing next to you. He gestured ahead. “Shall we?”

Even if they had an ulterior motive, as long as they let you leave, you had no intention of staying there any longer either.

“I can see myself out,” you responded, slightly surprised that Naoya had not started walking ahead of you as he usually did.

His smile was unreadable. “Let me walk you out one last time.”

***

The night had started easy enough. A civilian with a bit of a gift, or rather a bit of a curse, had spotted something weird in an area where a missing child had been reported not long ago, and next thing you knew, an assistant with a freshly opened file was briefing you through the details of your next mission.

“The students we sent last week did not find anything; they exorcised a grade three, and said something about some residual cursed energy around the entrance to the station, but nothing that should be a problem for the average person,” Nitta pointed out while she drove you to the area.

“Why is that section of the station closed?” you asked from the backseat.

Knowing why a curse might appear and stick somewhere was not always necessary, but it would help you form an idea of what you could find.

Nitta kept her eyes on the road and recited form memory. “It was closed for reparations, but no incidents had been reported until three weeks ago, when…”

When three high school boys trespassed and went into the closured section for some sort of dare, and only two of them came out.

You nodded and looked outside.

A first or a special grade would have killed them all for sure.

You had certainly learned to not underestimate curses, regardless of their grade, but after all those pit stops at Shoko’s office, it was refreshing to be assigned a mission that would not be too challenging.

***

Or that is what you thought.

Maybe you were just out of it lately. Why else would you be tired and sore after what had been a rather easy fight?

“My students would have been able to handle it,” you mumbled for your self as you climbed the stairs to your apartment.

Perhaps you were distracted, trying too hard to not make mistakes that you ended up making more.

You had not detected the second curse on time to dodge a hit. It was not fatal, and you would not bother Shoko for a little scratch at this ungodly hour of the night.

As you reached your floor, you searched your pocket for your keys.

Huh.

You palmed the other one.

No.

But you had put the keys in your pocket before leaving for the mission, had you not?

You halted before walking down the hall to your door. Had you dropped them somewhere?

What should you do now? Climb to your window outside and try to open it? Force the door? Lord, you had not picked a lock since you and Gojo were teenagers…

That’s right… Gojo.

He still had your spare key, assuming he had not decided to hate you and thrown it away into the sea.

You walked down the hall slowly, your thumb hovering over his name in your contacts, almost forcing yourself to finally call him for help.

Screw it. Just call him.

You tapped the phone icon.

Ring and ring but no answer.

Is he ignoring me? No... Be rational. He's probably busy with something else, or asleep, as a normal person would be.

Why did this have to happen at this time?

You stood in front of your door and left a voicemail for Satoru. Hopefully, he would hear it and come over when he had a chance.

On the other hand, if he would not hear it until next morning, maybe trying to pick the lock would be faster.

You were accepting that idea when you pushed the door gently, and to your surprise, it swung open.

Oh.

Had you not closed it properly before leaving?

No, that can’t be.

You had clear recollection of your hand turning the key in the lock to ensure it was closed before leaving.

A burglar? That was possibility.

Your instincts were telling you to not go in, but as we all know, sometimes the body does not listen to the mind before moving.

It was dark.

There had been very few times that Satoru would get into your apartment if you were not there. He was like that stray cat you sometimes fed, that for some reason enjoyed watching your life through your window and would sometimes just cautiously sit inside and wait for you to come home.

But Satoru usually turned the lights on.

As you stepped into your space, staying in the illuminated patch provided by the light that came from the hallway, something felt amiss.

You flipped the switch that lighted the entryway and slowly walked through the narrow hall that divided your living room and your kitchen.

The movement in your kitchen caught your eyes and you quickly moved to turn on the next set of lights, relaxing slightly when a familiar gray cat stared back at you with big yellow eyes.

“It’s you…” you looked at it, and the cat’s pupils seemed to widen, focusing on a spot in your living room.

You heard a click and turned to meet a pair of eyes you had never seen before. He was standing some feet away from you, still partially in the darkness in the living room, but now that your eyes could see him, you could tell, or rather feel, he was a sorcerer. Why had you not perceived him before?

“Who..?” you started asking when your eyes lowered to the handgun in his right hand that was aiming at you.

“It’s not personal,” he said and fired.

----------------------

Note: I'm still not over the manga...

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XXVIII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke

[yanderes-galore]

A romantic concept of Darth Maul (Star Wars) if you will?

Sure! I think he's a neat (and tragic) character within the universe he's in. Although at the same time... his motivations are rather simple.

Yandere! Darth Maul Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence, Murder, Kidnapping, Isolation, Biting, Marking, Forced relationship.

Maul, like Vader, is another apprentice manipulated by the Sith.

Except his manipulation came first.

From a young age he was fed the seeds of being a Sith due to his fighting prowess.

Nowadays all he really knows is hate.

There's just... so much to hate.

Especially after Kenobi sent him into exile.

Maul, despite having his mind put back together, probably never recovered from his thirteen years of isolation on a trash planet.

Maul is described as obsessive already in canon.

He's this way towards power, revenge, hatred, and rage.

He embodies so many negative emotions due to the Sith who manipulated him.

Using his training, Maul survived death through hate and became ruthless and manipulative.

He's not afraid to use fear to make others obey him.

Although... He is not devoid of care.

Maul is shown to care for his mother and brother(s).

So if he found interest in someone to be his partner, that care is shown even if he's mostly intimidating.

Although, his behavior isn't going to change much just because he cares about you.

Maul is the type of person to murder innocents to lure Jedi out to kill.

Naturally Maul will also want to isolate his obsession.

He feels you're all he needs and you're one of his obsessions.

I can see Maul breaking a Jedi in to corrupt them if he likes them romantically.

It would drive him insane at first as he's supposed to kill Jedi.

But the idea of breaking this specific one in, of corrupting them, making them his...

He'll let that slide.

Other alternatives include you not being Jedi or Sith, probably still Force Sensitive but you haven't chosen a path.

That or you're an adult Sith he found a way to manipulate into listening to him. (Like an apprentice or something after your own master was slain....)

Regardless, as expected of a Sith like him, people will die.

Maul has been shown he's capable of kidnapping if it aids him, and obviously murder is instinct.

That alone makes him terrifying.

But when he takes over Mandalore?

Even worse.

Maul does anything for power... and with that power he plans to make you obey him too.

Maul seems like he'd break you down just to build you back up.

He enjoys obedience, be that willingly or through fear.

The love of a Sith is twisted, especially with Maul.

While Vader has loved once and would seem more "caring" to the one he adores.

Maul has always known being a killing machine.

His love for you would be more rough, maybe primal in a way.

He's possessive, I can see Maul nibbling on his obsession's neck or shoulder to vent that.

Maul doesn't plan to attack you or hurt you physically (much).

It's those around you who are in the most trouble.

Normally, in Maul's culture, the female chooses the male.

However, it's obvious he's playing the rules differently here (especially if you aren't even female or a different race)

You can't choose any other partner if they're dead, right?

Even then I imagine Maul still tries courting you, it's just you... don't have much of a choice but to accept him?

You can barely even speak to others without hearing that signature noise of a saber being activated.

You and his family are what he cares for other than revenge and power.

Although, in Maul's life, he loses his family eventually.

When left with nothing else, Maul becomes even more suffocating.

He hides you away, and as much as he'd rather not, restrains you.

You're the only person he has now, the only one he needs.

To him, you should feel the same way.

He's your partner, your mate, you'll need him as much as he needs you if he isolates you

Maul is a yandere who would force you to need him.

He'll force you to be addicted to him, to give into desire and have him as yours.

Why fight him when he can give you all you want?

He can read you, he can give everything...

Just give in to him...

You're his to corrupt, his to have, his love... and ultimately, his to own.

[mimble-sparklepudding]

Sweets and Puddings OC Questions.

A little list of OC questions based on the symbolism of sweets and puddings in dreams and the imagination. Please note that the information in this list is for entertainment purposes only!

Chocolate: Comfort, Warmth, and Love.

How good is your OC at comforting others? Do they feel comfortable around someone who is crying? Does it depend on the age or gender of the person in question?

Do other people experience your OC as being particularly warm and approachable on first meeting them? Or do they initially (or even permanently) come across as cold or stand-offish?

What does your OC find comforting when they are distressed or anxious? Are they able to ask for this comfort from others? Or do they need to be alone?

Does your OC have someone in their life who makes them feel safe and comforted during difficult times? Is this person aware that your OC feels this way about them? Would your OC ever admit to doing so?

Does your OC ever comfort eat when they are unhappy? If so then what food do they find most comforting and why? If not, then what might they do instead?

Candy: Indulgence and Excess.

Does your OC have any "guilty pleasures"? Are they at all secretive or embarassed about these?

Is your OC ever prone to excessive indulgence in food, alcohol or other vices? Do they personally consider it excessive? Or is this purely the view of those observing their behaviour?

Does your OC find it easy to resist temptation? Are they always strong-willed and abstinent? Or does it depend upon the nature of the temptation in question?

For what (if anything) is your OC most greedy? Perhaps fame? Sexual satisfaction? Knowledge? Power? Or something else entirely?

Does your OC believe that it is possible to have too much of a good thing? Or is there no limit to their appetite for certain pleasures or luxuries?

Ice Cream: Playfulness and Childhood.

How accurately does your OC remember their own childhood? Was it a generally happy time? Or are there aspects which are painful or even traumatic to recall?

Does your OC take themselves particularly seriously? Are there times when they can take themselves lightly, but others when they demand respect? Do those around them ever view them as excessively dour and serious? Or even inordinately flippant and frivolous?

Does your OC have a good sense of humour? What kind of jokes do they find funny? Do they have a favourite joke themselves?

Is your OC inclined to play games of an evening? Or do they consider themselves rather above such diversions? Do they enjoy gambling? Or do they prefer games that allow them to perform?

At what point did your OC consider their childhood to be over? Was it a milestone in terms of age? Or did it follow a particular event? Did they feel ready for adulthood at that point?

Lollipops: Shortcuts and Risk of Failure.

Does your OC tend to plan things in meticulous detail? Or do they prefer to jump straight in and work things out as they go?

To what degree does your OC fear failure? Are they something of a perfectionist in all things? Or can they accept a chance of failure in some situations?

Does your OC place a lot of importance on doing things "properly"? Or are they more than willing to take shortcuts to achieve their goals?

What does your OC see as being their greatest failure? Does the memory of this still fill them with feelings of guilt or shame? Are their feelings of failure justified?

How willing is your OC to gamble? Are they more than happy to rely upon luck? Or will they only take a chance once they have stacked the odds in their favour as far as possible?

Cheesecake: Inner Healing and Realisation of Potential.

Has your OC fully realised their own potential? If not in their own view, then perhaps in the opinions of others?

Does your OC believe that people are marked for greatness from birth - perhaps by destiny, noble birth or cultural origin? Or do they believe that anyone can rise to renown through the quality of their character or the value of their efforts?

Has your OC fully healed from any historical experiences of loss or trauma? If not then do they believe it will ever be possible for them to do so? Conversely are they in denial regarding their own trauma and need for healing?

Is your OC someone who counsels or helps others heal themselves from abuse or trauma? Is this something they do consciously? Or is there something about their personality or presence that others experience as comforting or nurturing?

To what extent does your OC recognise the significance of emotional or spiritual harm? Are they able to recognise when another person is in distress? Or do they discount emotional suffering as being something that the strong should simply manage in silence and overcome alone?

Doughnuts: Recuperation and Reward.

Is your OC someone who finds it easy to relax? Or do they tend to always be busy and in need of external stimulation?

How would your OC reward someone who did a good deed for them? Do they feel comfortable being helped? Or do they hate feeling indebted to others?

Does your OC take the time necessary to recover fully from exertions or strain? Or do they sometimes push themselves to get back out out into the fray (literally or figuratively) before they are truly ready?

What has been the most emotionally rewarding experience for your OC so far? Have they admitted this to others (or to themselves)?

Does your OC believe that good deeds should be their own reward? Or do they prefer that appreciation be shown through generous material compensation?

Cupcakes: Joy, Celebration and Success.

How does your OC respond when they are feeling joyful or celebratory? Are they inclined to whoop and cheer? Or are they more understated and subdued?

Does your OC enjoy parties and festivals? Or do they find them somewhat overwhelming? Or even pointless or frivolous?

Is your OC able to acknowledge or celebrate the achievements of others? Or do they sometimes begrudge not being the centre of attention?

How would your OC choose to celebrate a major event or milestone (if they would celebrate it at all)? Would they prefer a quiet occasion with a friend or partner? Or would they enjoy as big an occasion as possible? Perhaps with many guests and much revelry?

How would your OC respond to being thrown a surprise party?

[piracytheorist]

I've kinda talked about this before but I love how we get to see the Forgers' different ways and levels of keeping secrets and of accepting their place and their love for the family.

Bond is the simplest case. He's not exactly "hiding" his precognition because he has no ways to communicate it to anyone, but rather openly acts on it to protect others. However, upon meeting the family he went like "Good humans. I will love and protecc" and hasn't looked back since.

I would argue that Anya's secrets are bigger than Yor's, for the most part because her powers are constant, and also more invasive in their lives than Yor's secret job. But Anya also immediately accepts Loid and Yor as her parents and calls them Papa and Mama without hesitation because in her mind, they are her parents, end of story. She is the daughter of the Forgers and it's up to her to keep it that way, thus she keeps her powers a secret because she fears that them becoming known would mean the end of the family.

Yor's secret is more indirectly dangerous due to the nature of her job, but also more possible to cause trouble. Anya is not responsible over her powers; Yor chooses to stay an assassin (though with understandable motives behind her choice) and she is fully aware that the moment her real job is revealed she'll have to leave them. At the same time, she feels insecure because for all she knows, Loid is a kind, simple citizen who is unknowingly covering for an assassin and has welcomed her into his home and family, so she feels she needs to always do her best to pay this kindness back. So her accepting her place in the family doesn't come immediately, nor easy. But through the course of the first season, she slowly got to the place of realizing she loves that place enough to be motivated to do her best to keep it, not so much for cover anymore, but because it really is a precious place for her.

And on the far end you have Twilight, who builds this entire family based on lies as a cold, distanced requirement for his mission. He is not supposed to love them, he is not supposed to see any emotional value in his place in the family, and he is not supposed to consider any alternative other than pretending to be Loid Forger for as long as this mission lasts. Despite Anya and Yor having secrets of their own, they are honest about their past and their true characters. But everything about Loid (or almost everything) is a researched, calculated choice. The moments he reveals true parts of himself are a precious few, and come out of him in an attempt to connect with and comfort the others, and rarely benefit the mission directly. He's not only the deepest in on the lying, he's also got the longest road to walk to accept his place in the family and his love for them.

(no spoilers for the manga please)

[str4wberrysw4n]

𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 (๑·̀ㅂ·́)و✧

yesterday, my teacher said that we were gonna play a Kahoot! and the top 5 would be able to get munchkins as a prize. Im not sure if I've mentioned this on my blog before but i LOVE sweet things!! so i was determined to do well in this Kahoot.

every time a question came up and i clicked an answer, I basically just told myself "it's right" and pushed back any doubt I had in mind. long story short, i ended up getting 5th place and was called up to get a munchkin. however, as i walked back to my desk, i was proud of myself only for my mind to undermine it immediately by saying

"it's just a small manifestation"

and im here to tell u... THERE'S NO SUCH THINGGG!!

oh my gosh. so many people wonder why their manifestations take incredibly long to form in the 3d,but when they DO manifest something small, they immediately diminish their accomplishments bcuz it's not the "main thing" they want. they're so focused on getting this "big" manifestation, which actually ends up with them sabotaging themselves. why?

first of all, i want to explain why "small" manifestations should be celebrated. imagine: maybe u manifested a top. nothing more, nothing less. but that in it's own right is an incredible feat. u have quite literally imagined something in ur head and watched it project into the physical world due to the power that u hold. a lot of people aren't able to affirm, persist, etc. And simply give up when they don't immediately see results. a result, considered small in the eyes of ur humanity, is a representation of u taking back ur reality and controlling the 4d. which is why i think seperating them into groups of "small" or "big" is, in my opinion, keeping u trapped in the 3d.

in the physical realm that we reside in, we constantly attempt to weigh our options to see which one is better. for example, if u asked the average person, "is billions of dollars more important than a shirt", they would obviously laugh at you and think you're joking or something. It obviously is, at least in the 3d. However, I believe that this weighing and difference in values should not be applied to manifesting. imagine like I said, u manifested a shirt. that's great, BUT, ur trying to manifest a billion dollars -- and while ur kind of grateful for the shirt, u instead focus on how you DIDN'T get the money. because of the values that u have been taught in the 3d, u believe that one less important than the other. when u apply this belief, ur basically telling urself that u have some sort of "low power level" instead of seeing it as proof of ur great potential. it shows that you're still attached to the 3d and what it presents to u, rather than accepting the 4d and being truly grateful that its started to pierce through ur reality.

also, just saying -- i see ppl online call certain manifestations "small", and while i don't agree with it, i understand why they could possibly refer to it as that. looking at where they are in their journey and the things they are "receiving", there's a chance that manifesting a shirt is pretty "small" compared to the things that they've manifested before. this is mostly an issue for like NEW manifestors, like they just started making subliminal playlists a week ago. its a problem i definitely ran into and i feel like it could hold back ur progress. luckily, i was able to understand that even if i called it "small", that it wasn't actually that way.

to sum it up, there isn't anything as a small manifestation, and genuinely considering one more important than the other can limit ur potential as a manifestor!!

once again, this was something i experienced so i wanted to post this for anyone that might need some insight! this is all my opinion btw. happy manifesting!! ヾ(◍°∇°◍)ﾉﾞ

[constantfragmentation]

Would you mind dropping some thoughts about yandere!Silco?

Oh dear, Silco the Conundrum.

I honestly think this fits Silco perfectly.

Silco has always been loved starved. Orphan. He's had to claw his way through shit for everything. He doesn't trust easily if at all.

I think he might have become obsessed with Vander in a way. I can see him as being bisexual. Now, whether he's fully acted on his desires, that can be debated.

In one way, I think Silco saw Vander as the kind of man he wanted to be. Big, braun, respected, lethal, etc. They become brothers and while Vander kept the top spot, everything was okay in this relationship. But, sooner or later, Silco gets tired of playing second fiddle OR start questioning the man he looked up to. You put someone on a pedestal so high, they're going to fall.

Silco was willing to sacrifice himself for the cause and expected others around him to be the same. Willing to do anything to attain that goal.

Post drowning, Silco still loves his friend and maybe hopes he'll see the light but he will sacrifice Vander or anyone else if he as to. He still loves Vander in a way that he believes he can still 'change' him. If not, he'll use him because he can't let it go.

Letting shit go, in not in Silco's wheelhouse. Even though he tells Jinx to do that, he obviously has never gotten over his own betrayal. Everything he's become has stemmed from that.

On the romantic partner side of things, he can be very much the same.

Silco is the opitome of possessive and jealous over someone he cares about.

He's more than happy to kill Jinx's only sister to keep his daughter.

If he cares about you? Yup, same.

It will have taken some time and effort on your part to get close to him. If you managed that, then you should know him by now and that if you're still game, you must know how he operates.

He doesn't show affection often. It might be something very little like a glance or a touch. A super soft drag of his finger along your arm.

Praising a job well done (chances are you work for him or in league with him in some way). He appreciates hardwork, dedication and honesty. However, your honesty better be in line with his views. He can accept your opinion as long as it's not in contrast to who and what he is.

He won't say "I love you", rather saying "I need or want you" instead. But don't mistake those words for lacking emotion. He means it.

Will he kill everyone and everything to keep you? Yes. Will he sacrifice himself to save you? Yes, but he will do everything in his power to not have to do that if possible. He will also let you know that if you do anything stupid to put him at risk, you're in big trouble. Plus, he will remind you constantly that he saved your sorry ass.

You're in debted to him forever. He doesn't take that shit lightly.

Silco has a great capacity to love but it is toxic. He is broken emotionally and pyschologically. He can go from one extreme to the other.

He might surprise you when he's very tender. Then he can be straight up violent in his passion and own needs. He has so much built up stress and emotion and unfortunately it comes out when it feels like it and it could be you or any other poor soul on the receiving end.

That could be in the form of an argument over something very trivial or seriously rough sex that he won't apologize for afterwards, even if he feels he went too far.

He could softly caress you while you're sleeping, letting his tender and vulnerable side open up when no one is watching. He cares but he tries so hard not to show it. If he cares, that could be seen as a weakness.

God forbid someone tries to hurt you. They are dead. No one touches someone he cares about. He won't leave it to Sevika or someone else to carry out. Nope. He will be very hands on and not with a gun. He will take his damn time.

You go after him or something/one he cares about, he will take out everything in return. He will burn you, your family, business, everything to the ground.

Very posssessive and jealous. Silco has always felt inferior in some way. He was always in Vander's shadow and in some ways he covers it up by being ice cold.

So, if you are tender with him he might reject it at first. He's not used to it, can't comprehend someone would be like that with him, could love him for him. Touched starved is an understatement.

Don't be flippant or coy with him. He doesn't want to play those games. Don't flirt with others. Once he decides you're his, you belong to him whether you know it or not.

Don't give him any reason to mistrust you. Once you've earned his trust and respect, it's even harder to keep.

He might hurt you first to prevent from him being hurt (ever again). Don't give him reason to suspect anything.

He might lock you in your room for your own protection/good...and who knows what that might mean and why.

Ultimately, he is in control at all times. He might lose it in a moment of lust or tenderness but it is only for a moment.

[pancake-breakfast]

I think a lot about Geto's shift as revealed to us in the Hidden Inventories/Premature Death arc. Some attribute it to Riko's death and all, but... it's always seemed like so much more than that. I love the way his change is portrayed because, as in real life, it's not instantaneous, but rather a slow progression of events that gradually shifts something core in what he already is.

Massive JJK Hidden Inventories/Premature Death Spoilers Ahead

The Seeds

The seeds of Geto's fall were already there from the beginning; these events just served to allow them to flourish. To start, one of the earlier things we learn about Geto is that one of his core beliefs is that society should protect the weak and keep the strong in check.

Remember this, because this is the root of everything that follows about his character. This is where it begins. And we need to note that, at this point, Geto defines "the weak" as people who can't use jujutsu and "the strong" as jujutsu sorcerers. It stands to reason that he sees this ideal to apply particularly heavily to himself and Gojo, since out of all the jujutsu sorcerers, they are two of only three known special grades at that time, and thus "the strongest." Meaning they are the ones that need to be "in check" and serving society the most, since they can do the most to protect the weak.

He believes all of this so strongly that only a couple pages later, he's willing to throw hands with his BFF Gojo over it. For him, this ideal is not negotiable. This is something very core to his character, and it's why he keeps himself restrained and gives Gojo so much crap for the many (MANY) ways Gojo just... doesn't. (We're talking everything from forgetting to put up a barrier to insisting on using "ore" as his pronoun despite it being more prideful and, coming from someone as powerful as Gojo, intimidating of male pronouns.)

Geto might have a bit of a flare for the dramatic, but at this point, one of his biggest goals is basically to make sure everyone knows he's the "good guy." Like, sure, he's a special grade, but he's more disciplined than Gojo and is silently accepting the of the slow and constant line of shit he's fed (both figuratively and, if you want to take into account the taste of curses, literally) in order 1) set other jujutsu sorcerers at ease and 2) to fulfill his perceived duty as one of "the strongest" to protect the weak.

Then Riko Dies

But Riko doesn't just die. She's killed in front of him, needlessly, because he and Satoru had already decided they'd protect her from jujutsu society itself if she didn't want to merge with Tengen, and she'd already decided that, at best, she wasn't ready to merge with Tengen and stop being herself. Her assassination was intended to prevent the merger, but at this point, the merger wasn't going to happen anyway.

On top of that, at the moment when Riko is killed, Geto has to assume Toji has already slaughtered Gojo... a fear that, moments later, Toji himself confirms (even if he proves to be mistaken later).

They were the strongest, and yet they were both taken down. For all Geto knows at this point, the only reason he's gonna be the one (the ONLY one) to live through this is due to the fluke of him being a curse manipulator since Toji refuses to kill him and release all the curses within him.

They were the strongest, and yet they failed utterly to protect the weak, either by keeping Riko alive or by allowing the merger and protecting others via Tengen.

It's literally the worst possible scenario in light of his ideal that he, as one of society's strongest, is supposed to protect the weak.

This is the moment where Geto starts to realize something Gojo doesn't learn until after Geto leaves Jujutsu high; namely, that pure strength just isn't enough.

Gojo and Geto take different paths in light of their respective revelations here... but I'm getting ahead of myself a bit.

The events around Riko's death shook Geto's foundation to the core. Society is supposed to protect the weak. The strongest are supposed to serve society by protecting the weak. "The strongest" are jujutsu sorcerers, and of all the jujutsu sorcerers, he and Gojo are the strongest of the strong. "The weak" are those who can't wield jujutsu.

But he just watched helplessly while a human with no cursed energy (and thus who, logically, should have been the weakest of the weak) bested both Gojo and himself and turned their mission into an utter failure. And then he watched as a bunch more of these "weak" humans proceeded to celebrate the murder of Riko, a girl who's only crime was to be caught in the web of fate and, perhaps, to dream of defying it for only a few moments.

Perhaps here is where Geto first realized those he saw as weak were still capable of strength, or perhaps he never quite made that connection. But it's absolutely when he realized that there were monsters amongst those he was supposed to be protecting. And that caused him to start asking himself, "Who exactly am I supposed to be protecting?"

Ideally, he would have been able to go to a therapist to help him work through this, but from what we've seen thus far, we have no reason to believe jujutsu society has anything resembling mental health care for the many horrible things their sorcerers have to face. So instead, maybe he could have turned to a trusted friend. But... he doesn't.

This is somewhat out of his control; over the course of the next year, both he and Gojo are being sent on more and more solo missions, and as such they have less time together. But part of it is just... Geto being Geto.

Gojo notices something's wrong, but when he tries to reach out and help, Geto pushes his hand aside.

Maybe this is the only time Gojo reached out, or maybe he reached out several times and Geto continually didn't accept for any number of reasons (internalized standards of masculinity, wanting to still be "the strongest", not wanting to burden his friend, struggling to much with his own thoughts to find words, etc. etc.). It doesn't matter much because the end result is the same. Geto ends up isolated, his growing doubts eating at his very core, struggling to remember the why behind something he thought he'd never forget: that the strong exist to protect the weak.

Then the second major event hits...

Gojo Meets Yuki

And she proposes to him something he hadn't thought of before.

It all seems so simple and logical. Why stand in between a danger and a victim when you can instead get to the root cause and prevent the danger from existing in the first place?

As she explains more about her theories for stopping curses from coming into being, Geto's long-simmering frustration at the events surrounding Riko's death cause him to stumble upon an option that Yuki herself has considered, but tossed out. Namely, if curses are only formed from non-sorcerers, why not kill all non-sorcerers?

It's important to note that, while he presents this idea, he's not exactly sold on it yet. It's very much born of an overflow of emotion and frustration rather than a serious consideration at this point, as he hasn't yet let go of the idea of himself as the Strong Sorcerer Protector of the Weak Non-Sorcerer Humans. As such, he's taken aback when Yuki casually mentions that it might actually be the easiest way to accomplish the goal, even if it's an absolutely insane method that has no place being considered when other methods are possible.

But shortly after, another event occurs: Haibara's death.

I don't actually list this as among the three major events that made Geto go from the idealist who taught Gojo his best side to a mass murderer hellbent on genocide because, while this event absolutely had an impact on Geto, it only served to reinforce what he was already struggling with rather than introduce anything new. He and Gojo ended up surviving their encounter with Toji, but this time around, someone he was close to didn't. The most gentle of Geto's schoolmates lost his life standing in between a curse and its potential victims, doing his duty as a good sorcerer should, leaving Nanami a mess and rendering the class a grade below Geto, Gojo, and Shoko functionally useless in jujutsu society.

The grade below them. The students they were supposed to, to some degree, protect and look after. And again, there was nothing they could do.

Then again, maybe this was the first place where Geto started truly recognizing that sorcerers, for all their strength, could be victims who might need protecting, too.

The final event, the one that tips him over the edge, comes narratively immediately after Haibara's death, and that's when...

Geto Finds Nanako and Mimiko

Because it's hard, if not impossible, to look at two bruised and battered children huddling together in terror in a cage and see anything other than victims.

This is the point that fills in the cracks in Geto's foundation and rebuilds it anew. Society should protect the weak and keep the strong in check. But the society he was taught to trust in has failed the weak. It failed Haibara, and it has failed these girls. These girls may be sorcerers, but they are weak compared to the wrath and anger of the people in their village... people who continue to create curse after curse after curse... far more than two young children could mitigate even if they weren't being beaten and kept imprisoned.

If sorcerers are the ones who suffer the most due to the curses created by (and only by) normies, then maybe the normies are the ones who need to be brought in check. And the curses they create may be strong, but Geto's stronger still. So he does what he's always done: he protects the weak.

But now the roles have been switched. "The weak" are now defined as jujutsu sorcerers and "the strong" are now defined as the careless, thoughtless, simple monkeys who keep mindlessly creating the very things that are tearing apart not only the monkeys themselves, but the people who have been fighting so hard to protect them. Normal, non-jujutsu-wielding humans have NO IDEA the havoc they casually wreak, but they just keep doing it.

Geto may have strength, but he isn't a monkey. He has the intelligence to keep his curses in check, and event to use them to protect others. And so it's his duty to do something about those who are stupidly letting their strength run rampant over others. Because if he doesn't, there will just be more Nanakos and Mimikos and Haibaras and Rikos, and none, NONE of that is acceptable. Because these individuals, even if they are sorcerers, are weak and should be protected.

Geto is strong, so he will protect them. He will eradicate the source of the danger and make the world safe for those who are now suffering, and he will do so swiftly and thoroughly.

By any means necessary.

**(To go back really quickly to where Geto and Gojo differ when they realize that just being strong isn't enough.... Geto becomes obsessed with the idea of obtaining more strength through power. He takes over a cult so he can wield people and beliefs to his own ends. He gathers as many curses as he can. He tries to get Yuuta on his side so he can vicariously use Rika, queen of curses, to aid him in his goal, and when that fails, he tries to take her by force. Meanwhile, Gojo decides instead to invest in the other people around him, becoming a teacher and doing everything he can to instill his values for how to change society for the better in all of his students. It's a longer, harder, and less certain path than Geto's path of power, especially given, as Geto points out, that Gojo could succeed by taking Geto's path with relative ease. I wonder if, at the end of the story, he'll think it was worth it. I wonder if we, the readers, will think it was worth it.)

[oneshotnewbie]

How would Olivia react if her daughter was diagnosed with a chronic illness (like Lupus).

ᕚ---ᕘ

Olivia would have been initially shocked and disbelieving and would have fallen into a sort of initial denial. She wouldn't believe the diagnosis at first and would hope that it was a misunderstanding or a mistake and would therefore, as a precaution, see another doctor for a second opinion.

Through her desperation, Olivia is sad because she is worried about your well-being and the possible effects of the illness. The same evening you were diagnosed, she intensively searched for information on the Internet in order to better understand the disease and, above all, to know what to expect. Eventually she finds herself in a forum where she encounters parents who have had similar experiences.

As she interacts with other parents, she learns that it would be better to seek professional help, in the form of psychotherapy or counseling, to learn how to deal with the emotional distress, your illness, and manage her own stress because somewhere deep inside, Olivia partly blames herself and wonders if she could have done anything to prevent the illness.

Despite the great fear about your future, she may wonder how you can lead a normal life, how the illness will affect your school and career opportunities, since you have always dreamed of following in your mother's footsteps. Despite the initial shock, she still radiates a certain amount of hope and optimism because she believes that you can lead a fulfilling life despite the illness and looks for ways to enable you to lead an active and happy life.

With her fierce attitude, Olivia is determined to do everything in her power to help you achieve your dreams, which is why she is actively involved in finding the best medical treatment options and considering therapeutic approaches. She comes to terms with the diagnosis and accepts it, adjusting her lifestyle with the new illness of yours, despite the challenges that the chronic illness brings.

She makes a special effort to have a strong and supportive relationship with you during the early stages of the illness to make you feel loved and understood. Olivia brings open communication to the agenda. She brings out more empathy and support, takes more time for you, and scales down her activities as a lieutenant a little. She listens carefully to you when you have bad days when your physical pain puts pressure on your mental health and accompanies you to every doctor's visit, regardless of whether there is a new case or not. Not that she didn't support you, but now she's doing it twice as hard in every aspect of your life.

To be clear: Olivia is not the best chef the world has ever seen. But when her parents gave her the tip to cook for you in a healthy and vitamin-rich way to alleviate your symptoms and pain, she tried to educate herself in her free time and prepare meals for you on her own. However, she made you a promise to only order pizza or high-fat meals every other Sunday.

Her love language would go through the roof! Small, important gifts would haunt you, as well as lots of kisses on the temple, forehead, nose and light hugs so that she doesn't add anything to your pain.

Olivia tries to mobilize your family (Amanda, Finn, Elliot, Kat, Carisi) and tie you close to them so that you don't distance yourself and keep your pain and problems to yourself. Your SVU family supports you, helps you when you can't do some things and supports you wherever they can.

But in the midst of worrying about you, Olivia has neglected her own needs. She lost sight of her own health and well-being, but quickly understood that she wasn't helping anyone but rather doing harm, which is why she takes time, takes care of herself and meets her emotional needs when needed.

[darlingchronicles]

because the ending was the shittiest thing to exist, this is my alternate version of the umbrella academy plots for season 4 and what needed to be dug more into. thank you for joining me for my ted talk...

*SPOILER WARNING FOR SEASON 4*

1. The five and lila shit...oh my gosh. no no no no. did not need to happen so here is what i suggest. Bring back Delores. while five and lila are traveling through the alternate timelines or even just him alone, it is shown how they're being hunted in almost every time line - either the commission or any other force. lila did mention they were shot at, but i feel that us as viewers need to see it. i feel like an entire episode could have been dedicated to their entire journey through the timelines. In one timeline, five runs into delores. As a human. She doesn't know him or seen him, but there is an instant connect between them. She's confused as to why some things are different in her universe - hinting to the timelines collapsing and that version of Delores isn't suppose to exist. Delores may have been traveling through the timeline herself (possibly if I made that fit into the story) and she is older than she looked just like Five but not as old. He brings her to the subway, telling her he is going to help her and she accepts it. They all, Delores, Lila and Five all spend their days in the subway trying to get back to either her or their timeline. Delores and Five fall in love. It makes sense because Five did fall in love with Delores in the original timeline. This time she's human and she falls in love back because she feels like she does know him. I like to envision her as the opposite of five - more optimistic, happy and a very comforting person, some person anyone would love to be around because she has such a warmth - but she also has sarcasm with her. They're really perfect for each other. Lila (if she is there) is like a older sister to her. We finally see Five in love and how much he desires to be in a normal life. Five finds a way to their original timeline and that goes into the next part which is the ending.

2. The ending was shitty, kind of, by the way. If the marigold was to be destroyed, then they could have kept on living, but I get why they did it. BUT I have a suggestion. If the marigold disappeared and it never existed, they all would have been born in the original timeline, at separate times, but without knowing each other. LET ME EXPLAIN: the only reason they were born was because they were infected by marigold but I believe they were going to be born either way yk? SO what would happen is that the timeline resets to the only timeline - and they all are born at the corners of the world and at different times. (Five is the last to be born). They all have their own lives without their powers and without knowing the others exist. Diego is preparing for a boxing match (he's like 26) in Mexico. Lila is prepping for her FBI exam in Quantico (she's around 23). Viktor owns a bar still and does music classes on the side, maybe in Canada, but I'm thinking Maine for some reason (he's 21). IDK about the others but Five is 17 and heading to University in New York and he's still a certified genius and he's more happy (sadly enough) with his life and we even see him re-meet Delores in a coffee shop or something. Either way, everyone who had marigold exists but they never come in contact with each other. They never know they were once family. The ending shot is of all of them in New York, passing by each other without batting an eye, on different sides of the street, heading different ways, exiting or entering different shops, not even speaking. And then in the outro voice, it is the same ending either April 1st 2019 or August 8th 2024 but nothing happens it's rather ordinary. I feel like that would have been better -- also an entire episode dedicated to their lives and hints of deja vu from their past lives, but they never speak or see each other ever again.

3. I think it needs to be said we don't see enough of everyone's lives in the first episode. I feel like they needed to dig into Lila and Diego's marriage and home life more and the fact that her family was alive in that timeline. More into Allison and Ray's marriage and how it collapsed or how the entire live allison wanted backfired on her. More on Luther mourning Sloane and maybe even finding her, but keeping his distance because she doesn't know him and maybe she's with someone else (not everyone can have happy lives lol). Viktor making the decision to leave and go to Canada to isolate. How Five joined the CIA. Klaus' fear of death. Ben's scheme and being arrested. A whole episode could have dedicated to this. ALSO reginald building a literal empire in the universe and being like the freaking president of the world. He's literally a monopoly. What planet did he come from? Why did he come? What was the point of keeping Abigail on the moon? How did those particles come to be? Another episode would have been good for this. At least half. I just needed more from these episodes. I feel like it started too fast too soon and not enough development.

4. The plot. the story was there just not executed good. maybe the timelines are collapsing into each other or maybe ben feels like someone is calling him (jennifer) and they meet again but are unsure why. i feel like no one can know about jennifer except when they meet her and find out there's something in her. there just needed to be more development of jennifer.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk...

[theamberplumbob]

~ Prologue ~

Life had always been hard for Ellery Loriel and Kieran Cyrus. Spellcasters born in the wake of the vortex that pulled the magical realm apart, they were raised in small, isolated fractions of their ruined homeland.

While the center of their realm was preserved by the Three Sages putting aside their differences and working together to keep what little remains of the magical realm intact, their respective families remained isolated, out in the void. So stuck in their bigoted ways that they’d rather remain alone then coexist with spellcasters that were different from them.

Ellery’s family came from an ancient line of spellcasters deeply devoted to the ways of Practical Magic. They were traditionalists through and through. They were sickened by the Practical Sage’s decision to join forces with the other schools of magic, and cut all ties to other spellcasters.

Ellery was raised in their lonely corner of the void, roaming around the few, lush islands that comprised what remained of their family’s land. Food was hard to come by, and being pulled into the void was an ever present threat, but they relied upon their magic to provide them nourishment and keep them safe.

Ellery felt suffocated, both by the very small world she was confined to, and the hours upon hours of rigorous training she was subjected to. She was always told what to wear, what to say, how to act, and what to think. She couldn’t stand it.

Her only reprieve was sneaking out at night on her mother’s broom to explore the other outer islands. That is where she met Kieran.

Kieran also belonged to an ancient family of spellcasters. They too were highly traditional, and refused to accept the idea of co-existing with the other schools of magic. The difference being that his family followed the Mischief School of Magic, although a very ancient, very dour sect of the practice, very different than the one most go by today.

Their land remained mostly intact, and was quite expansive, providing all the resources they needed to live comfortably. However, his family was comprised of cruel, self-interested people, who had become bored of life in isolation and decided to take it out on each other. Their actions went far beyond pranks, and it often drove Kieran to running off into the void, often for several days at a time. When he’d come back they’d simply accuse him of being too sensitive.

It was on one of these many trips Kieran took into the void that he met Ellery. She may have been from a rival family, but unlike his own, she was kind. The two soon found that they had very much in common, both free spirited dreamers who longed for something more than what their family had settled for. They were also both very, very lonely. The two became friends, escaping their respective homes to visit each other in secret.

Kieran had a very playful attitude, however, he was much fonder of comedy than mischief. Having grown up in such a strict, serious household, Kieran made Ellery laugh like no one else. Ellery was thoughtful and kind, and also an incredibly powerful spellcaster. She was so unlike the people he’d been raised around. He could be vulnerable around her in a way he never could be before. Soon, their excursions to see each other turned into trysts, as the two fell in love.

Sick of their home lives and only living for when they got to see each other, the two decided to run away together. Sick of the magical realm altogether, the two decided to escape to the human world, where there was more land than they could ever roam and more people than they could possibly meet, not to mention it was far, far away from their families. In her seemingly endless training, Ellery had grown powerful, and had learned an incredibly ancient and complex spell. It could give them shelter, food, and a means to provide for themselves, anywhere of their choosing.

They had to make sure that their family’s could never find them. While the alleged only way out of the realm was the portal located in front of Magical Headquarters, Ellery had learned through her studies of an ancient temple built in the human world worshipping the nature gods via practical magic. The temple was built on a magical lay line, and it was said that Druids were able to summon magic, and even magical entities, from the portal into the human world. If they could find a way to escape through there, they’d be untraceable.

It took months of researching and honing their skill in order to figure out how to open the portal. In that time they learned about the place they’d be thrown into. By scrying on the location they found that they’d end up in the little town of Henford on Bagley. It was a charming village surrounded by vast fields and greenery the likes of which neither of them had ever seen. They could live there peacefully in that quiet little community, surrounded by nature. It was like a dream. It was perfect. Their resolve had only hardened.

The time had finally come. With nothing but the clothes on their back, the two left their respective homes for the final time. The two pooled their magic together and were able to open the portal to the temple from the inside, and just like that, the two young spellcasters were thrust into the human world.