#pay it no mind

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XI

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X

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Piece of scum.

Satoru was watching your adored Haruki flirting, or rather, what he thought was flirting, with a girl from behind the cash register at the coffee shop he worked at. Satoru was still outside, just looking through the window. While you had said he was just overly nice to everyone, it did not change the fact that Gojo was still repulsed by him.

As to why he was there while you were at the school with Shoko...

“Do you really want me to apologize to him?” Satoru’s contorted face looked as if he had smelled something bad.

You gave him a soft smile. “It wouldn’t hurt you to apologize for being rude to him,” you stated, but he did not really agree. “I’m not saying you have to do it. Just… He is under the impression that you don’t like him.”

Well, he is not wrong.

Satoru had not said that aloud, but your expression suggested you had read his mind.

“Just maybe try to be nicer to him next time you see him, can you?” you questioned with a pleading smile and those eyes Satoru would do anything for. He sighed, defeated.

So, here he was. He had dismissed Suguru after their mission to come here alone, although he did not want to. In any case, he figured talking to Ikeda directly would be a better approach than him trying to play good friends with him and pretending he actually liked the guy.

Better get it over and done with.

He strode in confidently.

“Welcome!” Ikeda and the other few employees said in unison when the little bell at the door rang announcing a new customer. Satoru kept walking forward.

“What can I get for…” Ikeda’s smile froze when he saw Gojo. “Oh, it’s you.” He was still smiling, but it looked a bit less rehearsed than for the other costumers. “[name] is not here today, but…”

“I know.” Gojo did not let him continue. “I actually wanted to talk to you. Got a minute?”

“That’s unexpected… But sure.” Haruki peeked at his watch. “Do you mind waiting? My shift will end in a few. You can order something in the meantime.”

Gojo noticed that, despite his words, the boy did not look surprised at all.

“It’s fine, thanks.” Satoru walked to one of the vacant tables and sat down. The girl that had been talking with Haruki just a minute ago, looked at him from another table. He did not mind her and neither seem to do Ikeda anymore.

Gojo thought he should not need more than two minutes to make things clear with Haruki; he was just going to tell him that he had not meant anything before and that it was cool that you two were friends as long as he was not up to any funny business. Or maybe he would leave out that last part. If any word of him trying to intimidate your friend were to reach you, coming here would have been a waste of time.

After all, he was doing this because of you, so he was coming in peace and would leave in peace.

The cardboard cup that was placed in front of Satoru interrupted his thoughts, and when he looked up, he saw Ikeda looking at him.

“[name] said you drink it like this. It’s on the house.”

“Uh, thanks.” Satoru thought it strange. Did he just memorize everyone’s coffee order? He was not even sure Ikeda knew who he was when he first entered, and now he knew how he drank his coffee?

He saw him walk into the back of the establishment.

After five minutes or so, Ikeda returned, no longer wearing his apron. He was on his high school uniform. Satoru had seen the girl from earlier wearing the same hue of blue on her skirt. Ikeda waved at her and turned to Satoru.

“Is it okay if we talk on the way? I’d rather not missing my train.”

“Fine by me.” Satoru got up and threw the half-full coffee in the trashcan. The two of them walked out as Satoru spared a glance on what seemed to be Ikeda’s classmate direction before marching ahead, which the other boy noticed.

“It’s probably not what you think it is. She is a classmate.”

“I thought she was your friend,” was all Gojo told him, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Haruki nod.

“One has to be friendly towards customers, right?” He was not putting up his work smile anymore.

So you turn it off and on like a switch?

They were walking pretty much side by side when Haruki asked “What did you want to tell me?”

Fine, right to the subject. I'll just say it and leave.

“I don’t know if you remember but we spoke on the phone the other day.” Not really, Satoru thought. Actually, I spoke and hung up on you.

The slightest smiled appeared on Haruki’s face. “I remember.”

“So…” Satoru did not want to do this, but he reminded himself he had to. “So I just wanted to say I’m sorry if... If I was rude.”

An awkard silence followed. Was Ikeda not suppossed to accept his apology and let him leave?

Haruki finally hummed. “Is that really all you wanted to say?”

It surprised Gojo a bit. He had not expected him to dig deeper.

“Yeah, it’s all. [name] said you might think I don’t like you, so…”

So I came here to try to convince you otherwise or convince them. Just don’t make it harder.

“And isn’t that true?” Ikeda halted and turned his head to Gojo, who swore he had seen that cold expression before. And same as previously, he saw it melt into a smile, but it was not like the one he always had for you. Satoru knew it immediately: that smile was meant to deceive. “It’s alright, you don’t have to reply; I know the answer.”

They were heading for the station, and Satoru wondered if he should just leave Haruki behind. After all, he had already said what he wanted to say, more or less.

The blue-eyed boy cleared his throat. “It does not matter, what I think of you, I mean. I’m just the friend of a friend.”

Ikeda did not look at him. “True, but you are not just any friend,” they were entering the station, “and you know it, don’t you, Satoru?”

It was Gojo’s turn to halt. Not that he cared too much, but what was with the informality now? He had never called him by his first name.

Ikeda gave him an innocent smile. “Sorry. That’s what [name] calls you. I guess it just rubbed off on me.”

“I don’t mind, Haruki.” Gojo’s voice strained on the boy’s name, but his face was serious as he tried to weigh him. He had never attempted to hold a long conversation with Ikeda, so maybe he was just not used to his manner. In any case, it still felt as if he was trying to sting him with his words, and if that was the case, Gojo would sting back.

Ikeda strutted ahead. “Now that I think of it, did we ever get introduced formally? I can’t remember, but I guess it doesn’t matter. I know your name just as you know mine, right?”

Gojo had decided to leave in peace, but with that guy's tone, it was tempting to let his resolve crumble.

“What do you want?” Satoru grumbled finally.

They had reached the platform where Haruki was going to wait for his train, and he offered him a disinterested look in response. “What do you mean?”

“From [name]. What do you want from them?”

“Sorry, but I'm not following.” Haruki shrugged. “I’m just their friend.”

“So am I.” Satoru was looking right at him through his shades. A grin appeared on Haruki’s face.

“If you are trying to say we cannot both be their friends, I guess I would have to be something else then.”

His tone was lighthearted, but Satoru knew his intentions were not, not to him at least.

“Unless that bothers you.” Haruki looked at him.

Ikeda thought Gojo looked nothing like when he was with you, always playful and smiling at your sight.

He looks so serious now.

Gojo did not back off, but his voice did not sound as confident as before when he asked “Why should it bother me?”

“I like them.”

Gojo tensed at his words.

Although it was true Haruki liked you, he had, in fact, been expecting Gojo to admit the same, and maybe get a little bit more honest if he provoked him. All he knew about Gojo was because of you, but the things he had seen for himself, the way he always sat closer to you, how he acknowledged you first among your group of friends, and that more often than not, he was the one blowing up your phone when you were out with him, all of it had made him think he did not see you just as a friend.

Surely, Haruki had been confused about how you defined your relationship with Gojo as well. However, you said you knew him since forever, and that made people often get the wrong idea. He had no reason to doubt your words, but looking at Gojo now...

Is it the wrong idea, though?

Either you were oblivious or Gojo’s love was fated to go down as unrequited. In any case, Haruki believed Satoru should at least own up to it.

“I wasn’t sure before, but...” Haruki looked at Satoru’s covered eyes with a smile “…you are a coward, Gojo.”

The sound of the train approaching echoed in Satoru’s head just as much as Ikeda’s words.

Had this guy really said that?

Ikeda watched the train stop and open its doors for boarding. The station was, surprisingly, not too crowded despite it being almost the peak hour.

“This is me.” Haruki gestured to the train. “See you around.”

Satoru heard the train doors closing, but his gaze was still fixed on where Ikeda had been standing. “Yeah, see you around,” he muttered for himself.

***

Truth was Satoru had not seen Haruki after that. You still went to the coffee shop where he worked and hung out with him a few more times after the start of that winter, though, and then, he had been gone.

Until now.

You were in front of your building, talking to a man that Gojo recognized immediately despite not having seen him in many years.

Satoru had tried to talk to you all week, but his missions kept pulling him away, and it did not help that you were busy with your own load of work. So, even when he knew it was a bit too late to pay any respectable visit, he had come to your place to talk.

Ieiri had told him you had left the school a few minutes earlier, and then he had been pulled into a meeting with Yaga that seemed to have dragged on for an eternity. Thus, he had come up with the bright idea of asking Ijichi to drop him off at your place. He had not anticipated finding this scene, though.

Had you left early to go out with that man? Satoru pondered it while still in the car. What was it? A dinner? You had mentioned lunches and coffee with Ikeda since you had told him about your reencounter, but not dinners.

Satoru looked at your frame. You were smiling at something Haruki had said.

In all honesty, Satoru had often found himself distracted by your smile during the last months. It was not only your smile; it was your voice during meetings, the way you moved when you were training the students, your eyes when you were talking to him or Shoko. To the point Ieiri had sometimes whispered to him “It’s rude to stare”, because he had been looking at you for too long. How could Shoko tell, he was not sure. He thought his blindfold should conceal his gaze, but maybe it was not as effective as he thought.

Gojo sighed. He had not noticed until after your confession just how smitten with you he was.

In the meantime, Ijichi was feeling pretty uncomfortable in the driver seat. It was not unusual that Gojo asked to be taken to your place, but he was sure he had interrupted something between you and him a week ago, and he did not recognize the man you were talking to now. Nevertheless, he could feel Gojo’s uneasiness, and if the strongest was restless, what would be of the rest of the world?

Ijichi believed both of them felt equally uncomfortable when the man leaned closer to your face.

“What is he…?” he started asking, but Gojo shushed him. Through the rear-view mirror, he saw Gojo was looking attentively too.

Ijichi’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. Was him seeing this really okay? You had been a kind senior to him in your high school days, and this felt like invading your privacy.

He could ask Gojo if they should leave, but he was not sure that any questions would be welcomed by the white-haired man that seemed so invested in the scene in front of your building.

On his end, Satoru felt an increasing pressure in his chest. You had told him you liked him. Why were you letting another man that close? Were you going to kiss him? He had never seen Ikeda kiss you, and he definitely did not want to see it now.

He put his hand on the door handle.

What exactly was he going to say to you now?

Ijichi’s eyes kept going back and forth between you and the man and Satoru on the rear-view mirror. He thought he heard him sigh when you stopped the man’s hand that had touched your face and took a short step back, smiling.

Satoru saw your lips move. You were telling Ikeda something.

Please don’t invite him up. Please don’t invite him up.

Haruki bid you goodbye with a smile and started walking away.

Satoru spared him a look. The streetlights illuminated his figure just enough to notice he was taller than before, but his features had not changed much. You probably had recognized him the second you saw him at that store. Satoru’s eyes returned to you as you entered your building.

“Thanks, Ijichi.” With that, Gojo got off and walked after you.

“[name].”

You were climbing the first set of stairs. “Satoru?” It did not take him long to reach the stairs. “Is everything okay?”

You were glad to see him, but you had not made plans with him today, and although he would come unannounced most times, there was something about his expression that made you think he had rushed here.

He smiled. “It is. I just wanted to see you. Can I come up?”

That’s a first. Since when did he ask for permission to go to your home?

“Sure.”

As you walked to your floor, you took in Satoru’s demeanor. He looked pretty much the same as always, but the almost imperceptible way he was delaying his step, led you to believe there was something in his mind.

“You left the school early,” he mentioned casually.

You nodded. “I finished everything early, and…”, Satoru noticed the slightest bit of hesitation in your voice, “I had plans. Ikeda invited me to dinner; he just left, actually.”

“I think I saw him outside.” Satoru’s voice showed no emotion, but he tried to smile. “He hasn’t changed, right?” The smile did not come out.

“Not much," you agreed.

You reached your floor and headed to your door.

“I had a meeting with Yaga.” Satoru watched you take out your keys.

“How did that go?” Had Yaga told him something that was now occupying his mind?

You entered your key in the lock and looked at Gojo.

That tense smile again.

A turn of your key and the door opened, but Satoru stayed frozen in place, so you did not move either.

“Satoru, did Yaga send you to execute me?”

Of course, you had not done anything worthy of such a drastic action, but why else would he come at this hour looking so stiff?

Gojo laughed and, for a second, he looked like himself. “How did you know?” He followed you inside.

You took off your shoes and said with a grin. “Is that or he sent you to fire me. Which one is it?”

In truth, Satoru was feeling anxious. He had wanted to get a hold of you all week and thought a lot about what he was going to say to you when he did, but now that he had you finally in front of him, his heart felt too loud in his chest, and he could not remember how he had planned to start this conversation.

“Yeah, he said you don’t need to come in tomorrow, but you can expect your pay on Monday.” At least he could still get jokes out.

You smiled and swayed to your small living room, sitting down on the same couch where he had fallen asleep last time you had a movie marathon. He wanted to sit next to you, but he felt too fidgety, so he opted for standing in front of you.

“Now is a good time to prove your friendship to me and tell me you are going to cover my expenses until I find a new job.” You were grinning at him, a gesture he returned.

“Of course. In the other hand, I could let you just starve to death.”

“You wouldn’t.”

He smiled, and you knew it was his way of saying ‘No, I wouldn’t’.

You had been blown away that time you realized one of Satoru’s shirts costed almost as much as everything stored in your wardrobe, except for, maybe, the things Satoru himself had gifted to you, which you no longer wanted to ask the price of. Even though you had scolded him for being so wasteful when it came to presents for you or anyone -the sweater he gave to Shoko for her birthday was not cheap either- you knew that, as extravagant as it looked, he was just generous.

You raised an eyebrow. “You can sit down, you know?”

He licked his lips. “I think I’m good.”

Was he really getting ready to execute you?

You shifted in your seat. “Okay, you are making me nervous now…Are you really…?”

“Just hear me out, okay?” When you nodded, he continued, ignoring the suspicions look on your face. “Remember that time you told me you liked me?”

Your lips parted. Of course you remembered, but you had never expected him to mention it so directly. Was not there an implicit agreement to never talk about it again?

“Back then, I…”

Why was he bringing it up now? Maybe it would have been better being executed...

“I remember. You rejected me.” You averted your gaze. It was the first time you had said it aloud and it tugged at your heartstrings.

Satoru crouched down in front of you. You had seen him do something similar with his students. Right after beating them, he would kneel before them to explain where they had gone wrong in their attack. Was he trying to do that now?

“[name]…”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” You thought it had been long forgotten, and you two were doing fine. There was no need to recall that humiliating chapter of your friendship.

With your faces almost at the same level, Satoru could see your puzzled expression.

“But I want to talk about it. I didn’t…” Satoru was going to say he had not exactly rejected you, but you interrupted him again.

“Why?” You were not angry, but he perceived the same hurt tone he had heard that time. “If you feel uncomfortable, you have no reason to be. It was a crush, Satoru. I don’t know why I said anything. I’m sorry, okay?”

You were not apologizing for liking him, you could never, but if he was bringing it up because he felt weird or if he thought you needed an explanation, you would do anything to save your friendship.

“A crush?” he asked. Just a crush?

That pained him just as much as the look on your face.

“Yes.” Just like that time, your eyes were on his even though he had them covered. “We can forget it. I’m over it.”

Satoru felt as if you were ripping his heart out.

He looked at you. A crush you were done with? That would hurt anyone’s ego, but that was not what pained him. His was not a crush, and what he felt for you would not go away in a matter of weeks or months. Satoru had realized that he had been falling for you for years now, in too deep to ever get out. And you had liked him for a second and now you did not anymore?

Satoru’s gaze landed on your lap and the hand scratching your wrist. You were nervous because you were anticipating an argument or…?

“You are lying,” Satoru stated flatly, and if he had not been wearing the blindfold, his eyes would have pierced your soul when they searched for yours.

He could read you well.

“But I want to get over you.” The way your words came out surprised you. You had told yourself you did not blame him for not reciprocating your feelings; it was not his fault, and he was under no obligation to feel the same way, but you still sounded resentful.

I won’t be a bother, just let me stay as your friend.

Satoru knew he would regret asking, but he did it anyway. “Because of Ikeda?”

Was he still upset about that?

“If you came here to argue about him...”

“Do you like him?” It was a question Satoru had avoided asking you for as long as he could back then. And even after he did, your answer had been simple: it was not like that. But now, what were you going to say?

“Satoru, just…”

It took a second for your mind to fully register what happened next: Satoru leaned forward swiftly, his hand was on your cheek and his lips were on yours. Your eyes had closed by reflex, and his lips, as soft as they looked, were moving against yours.

You reciprocated.

Through the years, always denying you were a couple, in your opinion, none of you had ever crossed any boundaries, except once. Satoru and you had kissed twice before. The first time had been an accident; the second, an attempt to prove that kissing a friend did not mean anything, or that was what Satoru had said.

A suppressed grunt came out of him, and you were reminded of his exact words.

“We are friends, so it doesn’t mean anything, right?”

You pressed your hand to his chest to push him back.

When you separated, you were both a little out of breath, but that was not Satoru’s main concern.

“I can’t believe you are this selfish.” Your voice cracked, and Satoru saw nothing but hurt and sadness in your eyes.

“What?” He had kissed you because he loved you, and he was pretty sure you felt the same when you kissed him back.

You blinked, trying to keep the tears forming in your eyes from falling.

“Why kiss someone you feel nothing for?”

He was dumbfounded. That was not…

“It’s horrible." You had never looked at him this way. "You should leave, Satoru.” You were already escaping his hold and getting up, looking away from him.

In the blink of an eye, Satoru had teleported away, and when you blinked again, all the tears you had been holding back streamed down.

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Note: I... have nothing say. I'll go and hide somewhere.

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz

[i-am-a-living-god]

@optimisticallycyn bet you weren't expecting this >:)

I've been wanting to draw this scene from chapter 35 of welcome home brother by @/optimisticallycyn since the chapter was posted lol it just painted such a delicious mental image I had to, ok!

If you decide to read this fic be warned it's really fucked up, but also really good, but really really fucked up.

[scopophilic1997]

scopOphilic_micromessaging_1005 - scopOphilic1997 presents a new micro-messaging series: small, subtle, and often unintentional messages we send and receive verbally and non-verbally.

[grandwitchbird]

I block long bad-faith fits on my posts. For the record. This is not a democracy. I am a fair but somewhat whimsical ruler of my little domain.

I’m down for substantive disagreement and discussion though. Hit me up with that always.

[ailithnight]

Someone did not appreciate my invitation to tell me about blorbo.

: (

[melonisopod]

VORTIGERN NENDO REAL

[arvion-creates]

Well, 2023 is nearly over, so I figure it's about time to upload my 2023 New Years card. I made it to send to my friends, and I did, and it was fun. In the future I'd think I need more contrast, it didn't print impressively.

[jasper-dracona]

Tried looking up “what kind of masculine am I transmasc quiz” cause I’m feeling directionless rn and literally all of the results were “am I transgender? Quiz” “am I a trans man? Quiz” except for one.

Then it was 7 questions long, two of them were just like “are you cottage core, goth or lame?” Another 2 we’re just shitty meme/reaction image picks (on one of which 3/6 options were pictures of capybaras) and then the last fucking question was pick some music and the options were: “Korn, gorilaz, Lemon demon, Nirvanna, Mitski, and Skip/idk those”

Like. I’m trying to get answers here.

The answer I got was like “you’re cis passing. Like honestly a little too well. You need to be gayer.”

You fucker I have D cups I ain’t passing for shit. If I’m not goth or a cottage core uwu soft boi then I must just be boring huh. And boring=cis huh.

[andyinmiddleearth]

Oh no it’s the end of the entire world . You called me a man. Yawn? You forget normal people don’t give a fuck what you call them? She knows my views and loves me for it. You people are the reason gay acceptance has gone down. Also, my fiancé would never date a transbian, ya know, bc she’s a L E S B I A N.

Ah yes, we are the reason gay people aren’t accepted instead of actual violent homophobes and conservative lawmakers /s. You do know Black and brown trans women (Marsha and Sylvia) gave you your rights right? Oh wait, you don’t, because you’re a filthy TERF that all she knows how to do is talk about how much she loves pussy because she’s a cissexist misogynist that reduces women to their body parts. Fuck you and fuck your fiancé, and take the names of my lesbian trans sisters and siblings out of your mouth. Trans lesbians are lesbians and many cis lesbians date them. You’re not a real lesbian because lesbians are attracted to women and non-men or at least support transfemmes if they aren’t attracted to them. You’re just attracted to genitalia because you view women as walking vaginas.

Anyways, just know they won’t stop at trans and non-binary people. Once they have completed the last stage of trans genocide, they’re coming for you too, and you’re digging your own tomb by aligning yourself with the alt-right simply because you don’t want people like me to exist. It’s your funeral, so go right ahead, but don’t you turn crying to the trans community when your rights are stripped away, (spoiler alert: they already have been). There is no LGB without the TQIA+. Without the T your mere existence would still be illegal today, so sit the fuck down and put some respect into the names of the women that fought for your gay liberation so you can pull a JK Rowling and cry with your white woman tears (I’m assuming you’re white because most TERFs are, because they are both racist and transphobic, because the gender binary and transphobia are intrinsically link with colonization, racism, and anti-Blackness).

[pansylair]

Little begging dogfish!

Took some inspiration from spotted seabass for this one. sold! 🐟💙

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part VIII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

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“Don’t tell me you’re scared, Suguru.” Satoru smirked at his friend, who rolled his eyes in response.

“As if I would lose to you.” Suguru passed him the ball. “Give it your best.”

Satoru was aiming for the hoop when Shoko arrived at the basketball court just in time to see him miss the shot.

Geto laughed at him. “Yeah, I'm terrified,” he said sarcastically. “If you need support, maybe Shoko can join your team.”

“Heck no,” the girl said with a light smirk on her face as she sat down on the floor.

“It’s still a tie, isn’t it?” Gojo retrieved the ball and passed it back to Suguru. He then looked at Shoko. “Where is [name]?”

She lifted her gaze to meet Gojo’s easy smile. “I think they went out.”

Satoru knew you had plans, but he had figured you would come and check on him and Suguru before leaving. That was what you always did after they returned from a mission in which you had not been included, and he would do the same for you in the rare occasions you were not sent with him.

“With that guy from the coffee shop?” Gojo turned to Suguru’s voice. He had left the ball on the floor and joined Shoko.

Shoko nodded and another smaller, even softer smile started forming on her lips. “I think so.”

Geto had meant no malice with his question, but with the number of times you had escaped the school grounds to go to the city, and how often you had mentioned your new friend and talked about the many things you had in common, he had finally picked up on what all of Shoko’s teasing was about. To him, it looked like you were excited about your new friend, the same way kids in elementary school would be ecstatic every time they met someone who matched their likes and energy.

“Again, huh?” Satoru picked up the ball Suguru had abandoned, and threw it again. This time it went right through the hoop. He did not chase after it.

Unfortunately, Satoru was still much like a child as well, and he did not seem so happy about being detached of his position as your closest and most exciting friend. He was used to being the one you would go out with, laugh the most with and tell all the news about the things you liked, even if he did not share the same interests. Thinking about you doing that with someone else... it just did not feel right.

“I don’t get what's so great about him, though.” Suguru noticed how his friend's mood had changed by his tone.

Shoko saw the ball Satoru had thrown bounce away.

“They have a lot in common, and he is actually nice,” she commented.

Ieiri was not trying to be mean. In fact, she felt a bit bad for Gojo. Since Ikeda had entered your social circle, you had been spending a significant part of your free time with him. You would still spend time with her here and there, so it had not really been enough for her to miss you, but she realized that, for Gojo, who was used to being around you most of the time, that was probably not enough.

He's used to the whole feast, and you are feeding him crumbles.

“It’s good they are having fun,” Suguru supported.

“Yeah, I guess,” Satoru mumbled.

What Satoru had really wanted to say was that the four of you would always have the most fun together. You had other friends, he knew that, but you had never seemed so... captivated by any of them. Could it be you were not having fun with him anymore?

Suguru’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Are they...dating?”

The question had been directed to Shoko, but it was Satoru the one who froze in place. That possibility had not crossed his mind.

"I mean, how do you know you like someone like... you know... romantically?" Your voice echoed in his head.

Had you been talking about that guy?

Ieiri shrugged. “It’s not my place to say. Wouldn’t Gojo know?” Her look in Satoru’s direction indicated she was passing the question to him.

“They are not,” the white-haired boy replied too quickly.

Maybe he had answered what he wanted to believe, but you would have told him if that were the case, right? Because you would not hide that from him, right?

***

“Satoru, do you remember Ikeda?”

You had held it in for too long. Once you started talking, the words burst out faster than you could think them through. You told him everything about how you had reencountered with Haruki; the shampoo, the store, him living abroad, Osaka, Tokyo, the book he had lent you, everything.

In a strange way, it felt as if you were coming clean about an infidelity, which did not make any sense, so you ignored that thought.

I didn't do anything wrong. Not telling him things makes me feel guilty, that's all.

But what was stranger was that Gojo listened to you in complete silence.

“...So that’s what I wanted to tell you.” You held your breath.

Satoru's expression was the perfect definition of poker face, and you felt like he was going to call all your bets off any second.

However, his reaction shocked you.

“I see... Well, then are you ready to go? The movie will start soon.” He stood up, still looking at you.

“What?” Did he even listen? “I mean, y-yes, I’m ready, but…” He was already marching away from you.

“Hm?” He tilted his head.

Was he really not going to say anything? You had said all of that aloud, had you not? You blinked once, twice.

“Nothing... Let’s go.” You followed after him.

***

Satoru had been rather quiet on your way to the theater, and even quieter during the movie, which, while being socially expected from the public during any type of performance, was unusual on him. And now, he was barely looking your way, fully devoted to his ice cream.

You held your own ice cream to your lips and kept an eye on the man sitting next to you.

He said nothing; yet why do I feel like we are not okay?

Satoru looked at you. “Not hungry?”

“Too much popcorn, I guess. Do you want it?” You offered him your ice cream and he took it with the same smile he would always have when accepting anything you had not eaten.

More silence followed.

Once he finished, he placed his hands on the table.

“What did you think about the movie?” you asked, itching for conversation. Quiet Satoru was a scary Satoru.

“It was good,” he replied without looking at you. His eyes were scanning the few other customers at the ice cream shop; a family ordering at the counter, two young girls at the next table, and a couple sitting farther away.

He wondered if you two also looked like a couple. Probably not now, he thought, we are not even talking much. If anything, we look like a couple having a silent fight.

He knew he was being stiff in comparison to what he was always like around you, but he could not help it. It was not only that Ikeda Haruki had returned unexpectedly or that you and he had been seeing each other over the past weeks. What truly disturbed Gojo was that you had not mentioned a word about it until now.

He did not want to think of what kind of relationship you had with Ikeda now, but he had thought you told each other pretty much everything. If you were ‘seeing’ someone, in whatever way it was, what did it mean that you had kept it from him for so long?

***

“Doesn’t he have to work or something?” Satoru was glaring at Ikeda, who was at another table and whose hand was resting too close to yours.

Your classmates had gone to pick you up to have dinner together, but when Shoko saw you sitting at a table for two with Haruki, she had pushed the boys to a different table.

“We are the only people here and we told the other waiter we would not order anything, so…”

“But shouldn’t we be leaving?”

From his angle, Suguru could peek at Satoru’s eyes narrowing behind his shades.

Suguru checked the time on his cellphone. “There is no rush, and it would be rude to interrupt them.” He looked at you then back at Gojo.

As time progressed, he had noticed Satoru growing more and more irritated whenever Haruki was mentioned, not to say the ready-to-kill look on his face at the sight of the poor guy.

If asked about it, Satoru would only say that he did not trust your 'friend', who had appeared from nowhere, who was a non-sorcerer, and who was obviously 'a player'. You were aware of Satoru’s opinions on Ikeda, but you had always dismissed his comments as friendly concern. Geto had thought so too at first, remembering how Satoru had also been a bit territorial when you and he first started hanging out. However, Satoru had eased on him sooner rather than later.

On the contrary, Gojo's attitude towards Ikeda was not improving; in fact, it was getting worse. Suguru was no longer sure there were no deeper feelings involved.

“Shoko?” Satoru looked at her, convinced that she would be reasonable and give him the green light to go there and take you home.

“No,” was all she said without even taking her eyes off her cellphone.

“He is going to talk their ears off,” Gojo murmured.

Shoko thought Gojo was no different. Yaga often scolded him for talking too much in class, and half of those times, it was you the one he had been talking to. However, Satoru would probably be offended if she dared compare him to Haruki out of all people.

“I don’t think they mind,” she only commented, because it seemed true. She had heard you praise Haruki’s sense of humor and conversation a handful of times. He was lively and always had something nice to say, or so was your opinion.

The three of them saw you get up and rush to them. “His break is over. Sorry I made you wait.”

“It’s fine." Suguru smiled and everyone stood up. "Satoru is in a bit of a hurry to get that pizza, though.”

“Let’s go,” Satoru said, casually wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he looked in Haruki’s direction once more.

One day, after you returned to the dorms, Satoru had been waiting for you, saying he wanted to borrow something, and he also took the opportunity to ask if you were dating ‘the flirty waiter guy’.

“Don’t call him that," you had told him. "And no, it’s not like that. We are just friends.”

If he has such pure intentions as [name] believes, he won’t mind.

But when Gojo looked at him, Haruki was no longer wearing that sweet smile that he despised so much. Their eyes locked.

You turned your head to wave goodbye to Ikeda once more and Satoru saw the boy's defying expression swiftly transform into that of the innocent friend you praised so much.

I knew it.

Satoru had never wanted to pull you away from someone faster.

***

Yeah, I remember him all too well.

Satoru was laying on his bed in the comfort of his home. After your little outing to the movies and the ice cream shop, he had walked you home but made no excuse to stay at your place.

He had felt bad for cutting all your conversation attempts short, but he had not been himself; just as he had not meant to completely ignore everything you said about Haruki at your home, but he had, and he understood he made you both uncomfortable in the process.

Of course that threw you off. You had spoken for a while, briefing him on all the events that had taken place in the last weeks concerning the guy that was back in your life, as if you were reporting the details of a mission to Yaga, and Satoru had just dismissed it as if you had told him you had seen a bird outside.

He had listened to every word you said, but...

“You don’t get to decide who I hang out with,” you had told him a long time ago.

If he voiced his thoughts, would that open a crack between you two again?

He tossed and turned all night. Your bed was definitely more comfortable.

----------------------

Note: I just wanted to say thank you all for reading. I know I always say it, but I mean it, so I want you to know I do. <3

Next: Part IX

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap

[i-am-a-living-god]

I decided that I'm gonna post one quick 5 minute turtle doodle everyday until I don't feel like it anymore. Starting with 03 Leo

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[ms-revived-frogs]

The fact that Marsha P Johnson wasn't even at the riots when they started (something he said himself) and in his last interview he said he "was just a boy in drag" and surprised people thought he was a woman.

Somehow trans activists turned a gay drag queen into a completely different narrative. And the only way they've gotten away with it is because the poor guy's passed on.

never forget

[nomoremaybe]

[tenth-sentence]

Deeply involved in the war that was slowly stamping the life out of the northern lands of Ansalon, something as trivial as a staff with healing powers did not merit their attention.

"DragonLance Chronicles: Dragons of Spring Dawning" - Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman