#mentally not vibing right now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chronicillnesscaneffoffplease · 8 months ago

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I hate how sleep and fatigue seem like they should correlate and yet they don’t.

I’ve been sleeping more recently (averaging about 90min more than usual) and you might think “oh, that means you’re less fatigued right?” Which would be a false assumption. Because just because I’m sleeping longer doesn’t mean I’m not waking up more during the night (from pain, or nausea, or palpitations or bladder urgency… or all of them at once), or getting more of the good stuff (rem and deep sleep) according to my Fitbit. Today I woke early and haven’t been able to get back to sleep at all. And yet I’m still so fatigued. And like yes I’ve I been diagnosed with mild positional sleep apnoea (which I’m managing) and a slight sleep latency but I was told unequivocally by the sleep doc that the severity and patterning of my fatigue was not explained by these findings. The only night I’ve slept through in the last fortnight or so is the night I took my strong pain meds for intractable TMJ pain. Which makes me think that pain is an element. But probably not the whole picture.

I try to figure out if it’s physical stuff, I try to balance probabilities if it’s depression (it’s been a rough couple of months when I think about it), is something else going wrong with me? Or is this just my normal, a result of all my various conditions.

At some point I think I need to accept that my fatigue is chronic, that I do experience some sort of PEM, and I probably need to pursue me/cfs with my GP again. She was the one who brought it up with me last year, but it fell to the wayside a bit with the hEDS and bladder/bowel stuff that took over last year. But even though I feel like I’ve too much energy to have me/cfs, I do experience the malaise and flu-like symptoms when I overdo it. And overdoing it can look different from week to week. I don’t know.

#the ups and downs of chronic illness #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #gastrointestinal fuckery #acid reflux (derogatory)#mentally not vibing right now #along with a spate of falls and injuries that have even my friends concerned enough to start reccomending mobility aids #and my chronic migraines chronic migraine-ing #it’s a bit hard at the minute #a lot of my internalised ableism is at the forefront right now #a win was I did get a parking permit! because of the EDS i qualify for a permanent one which def tripped the dude up #the dude who processed my permit that is #I like the permit as it’s very good for campus (which is where I need it most) but tbh I don’t use it much elsewhere if I can help it #only time I used it off campus was at a social event where parking was pretty busy and I did not have the energy to walk very far #and that was very irritating because someone parked me in by illegally parking over the stripped keep clear bit #had to clamber over the passenger side #exactly what I want to do after I’ve already pushed myself to the limit somewhat by doing a social thing after a full day of classes/study #thesis-ing is going well #it’s a very different pace of work and study #but I love my topic and everyone I talk to in my faculty are also hyped and being really nice #honestly academics can be really great sometimes #also my Microsoft word game is leveling up #I am never going to be normal about formatting documents again

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shaadowmilkcookie · 2 months ago

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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.

But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)

#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now #IM LOVE HIM #oh my god #fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA #FUCCKKKKK #this one rlly has me messed up #ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to #show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image #oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it #LMAO #physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic #sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn #(kicks him) fuck you #i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay #shadow milk cookie #cookie run kingdom #mystuff #cookie run #crk #crk fanart #cookie run fanart #fave #is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT #doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!

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merakiui · 3 months ago

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SO WHAT IF I LOST MY MIND!!!!! riddle,,,, he's so cute...... 🥺 so excited to have secured the flag that he's JUMPING AROUND IN THE SAND?!?!?!?!?!

#meraki mumbles #summer riddle is my favorite flavor of riddle #i am protecting his smile with my life #he deserves endless happiness forever #his 'i finally dove right in without any reservations whatsoever' !!!!!!!! that is so huge for riddle omg #stopping myself now before i ramble and turn these tags into a wall of text orz #mentally i'm still here in the stitch event <3 tropical summer vibes forever

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squiddlysq · 7 months ago

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Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable

First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #system collapse #perihelion #asshole research transport #ratthi #ayda mensah #amena #googling to make sure I'm spelling amena right. bcos I misspelled Ratthis name in a previous post and haven't recovered from the shame #Sadly names pass thru my brain like sand thru time or whatever so. vibes only. i remember the sound not the letters. nightmare #Anyway murderbot mental health moment: the book was alot of fun #i need to do a reread now knowing what REDACTED meant the whole time #cause the wife and I were in torture thru the whole book like what the FUCK did murderbot DO #we were CONVINCED it had stood in the middle of ARTs lounge & loudly announced suicidal intent or something #or like yelled at everyone for risking their lives to come back and retrieve equipment <= it means itself #the combo misery and also sort of relief finding out it was literally just that murderbot has Been Through It #& is Suffering the Consequences #was kind of immense #anyway murderbot who is a crazy little asshole. its so me #Shadow the Hedgehog Gijinka looking motherfucker. I gotta pin down my design for it better #hope the memory visions r comprehensible but tbh whatever if theyre not #squiddlyart

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vivsicx · 4 days ago

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Happy Birthday Ayn! (★ᴗ★)

I can’t stop thinking about his cn bday sr help

#lovebrush chronicles fanart #lovebrush chronicles #lbc fanart #ayn alwyn #lbc #fyi: just my rambling past here #I wasn't going to do anything but the cn birthday cards…#Fanservice but I'm servicing myself because the outfits are right up my alley #mc in a floor length(?) gown plus the roses and jewelry?#the devs did this for me personally #Bejeweled heart lars mc 🤝 2024 cn birthday ayn mc #I dreamt of the bejeweled dress once it's fabulous #Ayn's fit matches her vibe well enough and he gets a kiss for being the birthday boy #the bday ssr was a good read reinforces Ayn’s character and mentality #with a sprinkle of his parents’ history #‘Maybe Ayn would become a happier child’ :(#also kid ayn gives me cuteness aggression look at his face #jkjjsks my brain is all over the place near finals #I haven't tried an atmospheric piece in months hm #not as rendered as I wanted but I can't spare any more time #hyperfixated for 2 days now it's back to responsiblilities #until Long Way Ahead #I’m at 7k stamina lmao

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kindahoping4forever · 2 years ago

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Cal (and Nugget) via almondmilkhunni's IG Story

#for those unaware i largely stopped posting partner sourced/related content bc some people couldn't act right in the tags #and for my own mental health I don't need to know that vibe is out there #however. LOOK AT THE BABIESSSSS so I had to #that being said. let's not forget i am in my blocking era. and it's SUCH a hair trigger these days so just. know that 😂#now enjoy the babies 🤩😌#5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #calum #Instagram #other ig #kh4f post #baby but baby #smoosh and smooch

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leqclerc · 1 year ago

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@f1blrcreatorsfest Week 3: Music Artist-Inspired ↳ Sebastian and Charles + songs released in 2019 Shameless / Piece Of Your Heart / You're No Good

#formula 1 #f1edit #charles leclerc #sebastian vettel #sebchal #*shows up 2 days late with starbucks*#i like the concept and i would've liked to include more songs but im tired of fighting photoshop honestly it took long enough already 😭#i tried to go for a more moodier mid to late 2019 vibe where the rivalry was kind of intensifying & everyone was talking about the tension #which tbf a lot of that as we now know was blown out of proportion but it was the prevalent vibe in the fandom & fic sphere #and in a lot of the ~defining fics that i consumed when i was first getting into them as a pairing and researching what i had missed out on #and i guess i have a nostalgic soft spot for that darker moodier more sultry rivalry vibe and mentally it's something i like to go back to #a lot of it is a direct product of the narratives and thought processes at the time and sometimes you just need to step right back into 201 #so these are songs that to me are reminiscent of that era ig and what i associate with it and the fics that capture that zeitgeist for me #f1blrcreatorsfest23 #*#*mine: gif

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emma-ofnormandy · 4 months ago

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Ya know, simply existing feels utterly exhausting at the moment, so shout out to everyone who decided to exist today. I’m proud of you.

#this feels rather morbid and it’s not meant to #it’s just so tiring being a human on this earth right now #and trying to see the positive when everything is bleak is hard #so thank you for existing #you are loved and treasured #motivation #mental health #positive thoughts #positive vibes #liz nonsense

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lokh · 9 months ago

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nonbinary people who are on hrt. how do you decide what hormone levels you want to be at

#is it purely vibes.#eg on T its possible to be beyond the typical female range but below the male range #but like..... idk how noticeable the difference is #right now thats where i am LMAO and i got a referral to adjust the levels #but im realising like. what am i even aiming for #to be clear i think going higher might be nicer just mentally LMAO #but thinking about it. hmmm

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scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde · 9 months ago

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bro i cannot let Dan and Phil be on my Spotify wrapped 2024 I am a grown adult

#nah cause why is it actually good #im vibing #good for synthwave anyway 🙄#im joking no one come for me #dan and phil games #dan and phil #i cant believe im exactly in the same place mentally as i was at 15 #this would have gone so hard at 15 im telling you right now #if you see the synthwave genre on my spotify wrapped no you didnt

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chronicillnesscaneffoffplease · 2 years ago

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Doing a bladder diary for 3 days is almost worse than doing low fodmap and having to do food diary for a full month. Just let me dissociate from my pain and symptoms in peace please 🥺.

#chronic illness #the ups and downs of chronic illness #bladder fuckery #cw bladder stuff pee etc.#the utisn’t of 2023 #mentally not vibing right now #I’m a numbers person and that’s why no one should have given me the power of measuring my own pee. I know too much

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well-dressed-sewer-rat · 2 years ago

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(tw blood)

just a silly little guy <3

(explanation in the tags + more stuff under the cut because i’m indecisive as hell)

#the rat doing an angst art for once?? damnn #was gonna shove fyodor’s body in there too but i couldn’t get it right and was unfortunately out of fucks to give #anyway this is based on a possible ending to bsd me and dia came up with the other day #basically the classic nikolai-kills-fyodor-but-doesn’t-know-where-to-go-from-there trope #but instead of nikolai’s despair manifesting as just ‘damn. now what’#he realizes fyodor was indeed not the thing keeping him from his freedom and neither was the government the law society etc #kolyas definition of freedom is being above literally anything and everything that could possibly hold him back #in simple terms. he’s trying to be a god without realizing it #hence why he treats normal human emotions such as guilt and regret for his crimes as chains holding him down #and shoves them under a cardboard personality that doesn’t experience these at all #so now that he realizes he himself is the only thing stopping him from attaining his definition of freedom #he’s like oh shit does that mean the very reason i’ve been living was nothing more than an illusion? and other misc mental breakdown vibes #if you read all that. damn wow i mean thanks #i diagnose you with gogol stan #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #nikolai gogol #nikolai gogol bsd #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai bsd #bsd nikolai #bsd gogol #gogol bsd #bsd nikolai fanart #bsd fanart #fyolai #tw blood #bsd [rat edition]

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clownsnake · 6 months ago

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OOOH HES YELLING

(Spoilers for Orv in the tags, bc I’m commentating now I guess)

#ANGY MOMENT #going post #orv #All these backhanded comments from her… the tensionnnnn #‘It’s about time you faced reality’ OH THATS LOADED #‘Just a few words from her and my whole world is shaking violently’ the devastating power of a mom to suck all good vibes from a room #The way he’s standing so still and his back is fully straight. It’s like he’s stuck in the role of a kid getting scolded #‘Sell off reality to be fiction like you did’ what does that mean??? Huh?#OH OKAY BACKSTORY TIME #I mean honestly. Kind of slay of her to kill her and her sons abuser #OHH OH I SEE. I SEE WHAT HE MEANT NOW #SELL OFF REALITY TO BE FICTION….. AND HE HAD TO LIVE POKED AND PRODDED BY THE MEDIA BC SHE MADE THEIR TRAUMA FAMOUS #HE DIDNT GET TO BE A NORMAL KID IN ANY CAPACITY…….. MAN.#‘Things were a little difficult because of that’ DOKJA. DUDE.#ohhhhh and now the constellations would feel weird abt donating right now.#‘To think my life was being exchanged for money by someone else’ HAHA GETTEM DOKJA #‘Haha that was all a lie jk’ hey man. you are not mentally well

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afniel · 7 months ago

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Maaaaaaaaaaaan, come on.

(the post has ended up in the tags btw. I am not changing this and I need you to understand that it is just me talking to myself semi-publicly)

#Nevi Writes #things said by a guy writing a thing he doesn't even intend to be writing and it's like 10k of words now. >:[#while that's true I do want to emphasize that nobody should get excited about it right now tho okay #because like it's just. idk. I feel very much like it could end up not worth pursuing anyway. it's just a little baby wip.#(when the fuck did my little baby wips get to be 1/4-1/2 the length of my previous 'finished' stories!! what the hell)#it just feels nice to make words tho. and it does have that kind of 'ah good to catch up with these guys again' vibe which is nice.#even if the break has once again been like. on the order of days to a week maybe. I'm so bad at this taking a break business suddenly. lel.#but I don't have anything much to say about it at this point #other than I'm debating inventing a reason that presidential elections would have been moved by a couple of years between now and 2212 #what is it with me and having to be so damn precise with dates in this whole narrative. am I just mad that Capcom never tries?#(yes) (so mad)#(and 2212 would actually be an election year is the problem. I want time to have passed but I also want there to be a pres. election.)#(it's fine don't worry about it)#(this is how I decided that Blucifer got bload up and then replaced also. weird reliance on mashing up IRL things and fictional explosions)#(but it's fun isn't it? got that veneer of verisimilitude. I'm good at long words)#idk this is inevitable isn't it. but I'm going to keep playing like it's not. I think I need a little more space for this one mentally.#the first one just sort of fell out of my head fully assembled and the second one did that also but with different vibes #though it did actually take some cutting things and adjusting things to make it work which Failure to Compile did not #Failure to Compile was bizarrely effortless until the mad editing dash. Outcome Unpredictable was WORK #fun work at least! but in hindsight it was definitely more work to make it flow properly.#the real job for the 3th if it happens is gonna be wrapping up threads without dropping new ones in bc that's such a habit of mine now

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absolutelyzoned · 4 months ago

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its me and my inability to compromise against the world

#i hate it when plans are changed i fucking hate it so much #i desperately need to rant about this im having an awful time ..Augh #my dad lost his job and is selling his house. we have at MOST 3 weeks to get out of here #so wrre moving to the house next to my moms. my grandpa owned b4 he died. HOWEVER #i hate that house its dirty as hell. i cant live with my mom theres barely 2 rooms there and i currently sleep on a couch in the living roo #there are 3(?) bedrooms where my dad is moving and they are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than. literally everything #so well have. not a lot of space. not to mention that all the rooms are shaped so fucking weird. shitty old house bonus #literally everything has the fucking landlord special cause my mom used to rent it except all of the tennants were jerks #so the house has A Vibe. /neg. and its a weird combo of dustu and sticky #Im getting off topic.#i was allowed to choose my room a while back and we all agreed on everything and made plans and thought everything was set in stone #the room i was supposed to get is small asf and has slanted walls. (attic room ig) but it was fine #but my mom was like noo! actually! your older brother is getting that room! we never agreed on anything!!#whicj is AWFUL #i HATE CHANGE #AND. i wish you could see the room im supposed to have now but im at My dad's rn #its so fucking small. the water heater is in there. there's a low hanging fucking duct pipe or whatever right by the door #its pink #it smells like shit #ots right next to the washer and dryer.#there is no light. i hate it so much #ITS SMALL. AND JUST FUCKING SUCKS #i might sound like a dick but everything is so stressful rn i dont want to move school starts in 2 weeks i dont know my schedule i don't #have anyone to talk to. we're all fucking broke as hell and my mom refuses to help my dad because. i dont even know why #sorry. btw #i need someone to talk to so bad #they won't get me a therapist because 1 its not covered by insurance and 2 my dad lost his job and said insurance #i can't get a job because i can't drive and am so mentally fucked up and its so hard for me to do literally anything #i cry at the most insignificant situations and im always on the verge of tears #i get overstimulated so easy i can't fucking do this

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diluc33rpm · 10 months ago

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the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since

#i love gale he doesn't deserve (most of) the incel slander #but it's painfully such a good riff because it really really does feel like that #the player choices being a b/w alternation between 'hey there' and 'YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF... NOW!' normally is already comical as is #the fact that it carries over into interactions with the party members who you're presumably trying to be close with is... something else #and what makes it worse is it ISN'T jokey hyperbole. anyone remember 'send a mental image of you kissing him or HIS HEAD ON A PIKE.' c'mon #trying to chat and vibe at the refugee camp celebration and the sum of conversation i get is one (1) line asking how they're doing #because going any further than that elicits marking you down for the path of boning take it or leave it #it's genuinely so hard to get to feel like you can deepen a relationship with the characters in ways that aren't trying to pursue them #yes! halsin! i really want to know you better! i just don't want the ass!! why is trying to hit the only option other than up and leaving!!#99% of the time i expect nothing from media creators in terms of writing interactive relationships #larian are beyond parody in that they've somehow managed to do worse than the already suboptimal majority #we're just going to impose the roadblock of do you want to fuck y/n right off the bat. good luck finding a way to talk around that if not #the obscuration surrounding where exactly the checks are really does not help at all either #when the shit's got even the allos complaining about it you know it's BAD #shame because i was excited for character scenes given that's a lot of what's hyped up about the game #but no it's all just the romances. 'what if i'd like to breathe in someone's general direction-' well now have you heard of our romances?#fish fear them party members fear them and tav is going to have to walk alone on this sinful earth #conservative bigoted relative at the family reunion withers era was a fucking time before they tweaked that line speaking of #just so crazy they can get away with this shit #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 liveblog

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