#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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Happy New Year and I hope everyone has a better year ahead! ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐๐๐ป๐ป๐ป๐๐๐
I know this Authorโs notes looks long, but please donโt panic. Itโs just an update, Iโm still working on Belladonna. ๐๐๐ป๐๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
This is an update to let yโall know how things been going with Belladonnaโs Chapter 31. It is still unfortunately incomplete, but I promise Iโm trying! ๐๐๐ป Still ironing out some details and Chinese New Year is coming, so spring cleaning and stuff is in order. So update is probably after February. ๐๐๐ป Iโm very sorry. ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ป
These three paragraphs only regards my health in slightly more detail than the previous post, (why I havenโt been able to update) so you can just skip it if youโd like. ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ As I mentioned previously, my health has been fluctuating since June 2023, I havenโt been feeling very well so my writing took a hit (on top of writerโs block). ๐ฉ๐ซ The symptoms thankfully wasnโt too serious, all things considered.๐ค๐ปMy fatigue however was the most obvious, there was also low moods, insomnia (caused by heart palpitations) and etc. However, Iโve gotten my blood tested around November and I finally know whatโs going on. So at least I now know how to reduce and regulate the symptoms, Iโve seen improvements and hopefully Iโll make a full recovery soon. ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ป
But then at the end of December, I was tested positive with covid. ๐๐๐๐ซ ๐ซ ๐ซ So my fatigue worsened. At this point itโs like a triple layered stack. First from my nightly dreams, second from the issue that started in June, then now from the covid. ๐ซ I have tested negative after 6 days, but my doctor did warn me that some symptoms and inflammation will probably persist for about a month after turning negative and to not do strenuous exercises, (even something simple like brisk walk). I found out sometimes just eating a meal brings me shortness of breath and my heart rate would reach 106 or so and then I gotta lie down. Feels like my heart was copying that one meme on Facebook and saying, โIf you donโt stop, I will.โ ๐ฎโ๐จ๐๐คฃ The same goes for house chores, like changing the bedsheets. So yeah. But Iโm still kickingโalbeit weaklyโAND my low moods had thank god not plagued me lately. ๐๐ฎโ๐จ๐๐ป Bless.
Iโll be trying to get a swing back into things while minding my energy, so my health doesnโt decide to give me a sucker punch to the gut. Or a left hook, I donโt know, itโs been years and it still likes to catch me by surprise. ๐๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ค๐ป Despite the annoyances, Iโm still very thankful itโs nothing too serious. At this point, Iโll just let it throw a fit wherever it wants, and then let it die down whenever, while trying to get on with my life and maintaining inner peace. ๐๐๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ค๐ป Iโm done trying to control it to go the way I want it to, cuz it backfired, badly. ๐
Anyways, thank you all so much and I really really appreciate the immense patience, love and support my dear readers has shown for my stories. ๐๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ I know I havenโt been updating as much as I would have liked, nor anticipated, after I graduated from school five-years-turning-six-years ago, in fact I thought Iโd be able to churn out more chapters, guess I sorely underestimated the full extent of the symptoms my health could throw at me. ๐๐
I wish everyone good healthโseriously please take good care of yourself, and may all the lovely and nice things in life, be it big or small, be enjoyed, celebrated, and appear whenever you need it. ๐ฅฐ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ป๐
The very best of luck for 2024 and the upcoming Year of the Dragon! God bless everyone! Cheers! ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Until next time! ๐
Ps: My inbox told me I have a new message/submission but when I click on it, thereโs nothing there. ๐๐๐ If someone sent me an ask, Iโm sorry but Tumblr wonโt let me see it. ๐ญ๐๐ป
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