#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other
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monstermoviedean ยท 1 month ago
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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kirakirabluemoon ยท 11 months ago
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Happy New Year and I hope everyone has a better year ahead! ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ€
I know this Authorโ€™s notes looks long, but please donโ€™t panic. Itโ€™s just an update, Iโ€™m still working on Belladonna. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ
This is an update to let yโ€™all know how things been going with Belladonnaโ€™s Chapter 31. It is still unfortunately incomplete, but I promise Iโ€™m trying! ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป Still ironing out some details and Chinese New Year is coming, so spring cleaning and stuff is in order. So update is probably after February. ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป Iโ€™m very sorry. ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
These three paragraphs only regards my health in slightly more detail than the previous post, (why I havenโ€™t been able to update) so you can just skip it if youโ€™d like. ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’– As I mentioned previously, my health has been fluctuating since June 2023, I havenโ€™t been feeling very well so my writing took a hit (on top of writerโ€™s block). ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿซ  The symptoms thankfully wasnโ€™t too serious, all things considered.๐Ÿคž๐ŸปMy fatigue however was the most obvious, there was also low moods, insomnia (caused by heart palpitations) and etc. However, Iโ€™ve gotten my blood tested around November and I finally know whatโ€™s going on. So at least I now know how to reduce and regulate the symptoms, Iโ€™ve seen improvements and hopefully Iโ€™ll make a full recovery soon. ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
But then at the end of December, I was tested positive with covid. ๐ŸŒš๐ŸŒš๐ŸŒš๐Ÿซ ๐Ÿซ ๐Ÿซ  So my fatigue worsened. At this point itโ€™s like a triple layered stack. First from my nightly dreams, second from the issue that started in June, then now from the covid. ๐Ÿซ  I have tested negative after 6 days, but my doctor did warn me that some symptoms and inflammation will probably persist for about a month after turning negative and to not do strenuous exercises, (even something simple like brisk walk). I found out sometimes just eating a meal brings me shortness of breath and my heart rate would reach 106 or so and then I gotta lie down. Feels like my heart was copying that one meme on Facebook and saying, โ€œIf you donโ€™t stop, I will.โ€ ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿคฃ The same goes for house chores, like changing the bedsheets. So yeah. But Iโ€™m still kickingโ€”albeit weaklyโ€”AND my low moods had thank god not plagued me lately. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป Bless.
Iโ€™ll be trying to get a swing back into things while minding my energy, so my health doesnโ€™t decide to give me a sucker punch to the gut. Or a left hook, I donโ€™t know, itโ€™s been years and it still likes to catch me by surprise. ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป Despite the annoyances, Iโ€™m still very thankful itโ€™s nothing too serious. At this point, Iโ€™ll just let it throw a fit wherever it wants, and then let it die down whenever, while trying to get on with my life and maintaining inner peace. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿป Iโ€™m done trying to control it to go the way I want it to, cuz it backfired, badly. ๐ŸŒš
Anyways, thank you all so much and I really really appreciate the immense patience, love and support my dear readers has shown for my stories. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ€ I know I havenโ€™t been updating as much as I would have liked, nor anticipated, after I graduated from school five-years-turning-six-years ago, in fact I thought Iโ€™d be able to churn out more chapters, guess I sorely underestimated the full extent of the symptoms my health could throw at me. ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜”
I wish everyone good healthโ€”seriously please take good care of yourself, and may all the lovely and nice things in life, be it big or small, be enjoyed, celebrated, and appear whenever you need it. ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒป๐Ÿ€
The very best of luck for 2024 and the upcoming Year of the Dragon! God bless everyone! Cheers! ๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ‡
Until next time! ๐Ÿ˜˜
Ps: My inbox told me I have a new message/submission but when I click on it, thereโ€™s nothing there. ๐ŸŒš๐ŸŒš๐ŸŒš If someone sent me an ask, Iโ€™m sorry but Tumblr wonโ€™t let me see it. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
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