#sometimes it feels like my brain is gonna explode
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lonesomenecromancer · 6 months ago
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mothiva gains a new fan (well kind of)
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dredshirtroberts · 8 months ago
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oh shit y'all.
i've done gotten invested in Gurren Lagann. we're like 19 episodes deep in this paint and i have been emotionally compromised by the silly mechs.
believe in the me.
#that believes in you#i was gonna say pray for me but that makes me actively uncomfortable so don't do that#but i figured the believe in me thing was fitting#gurren lagann#i don't know how deep this rabbit hole will go for me - but i have a drill so let's find out i GUESS#y'all i did not anticipate this being what happened to me in my 30s i thought i'd found all the anime i was going to be emotionally attache#to in my teens and HERE WE ARE I MISSED ONE I GUESS#i'm having a blast don't let my silly complaints fool you i like to be dramatically angry about things that delight me sometimes#the THEMES the MOTIFS the STORY IT'S TELLING#UGH#SO GOOD#i don't want to hear criticism about it because it's BEAUTIFUL and I LOVE IT#we're watching kill la kill when we get done with gurren lagann and i am SO EXCITED about that trigger knows my weaknesses#and it's goofy faces and tiddies while dealing with really deep subject matter in a ridiculous way#also apparently mechs? wasn't anticipating that one at all i am ambivalent about mechs in general#but BOY HOWDY DID I CRY WHEN DAI-GURREN HAD TO EXPLODE ITS SWORD OFF#anyway... where was i#oh yeah so anyway in case you haven't guessed yet this taking over my brain slowly but surely and i'm sure there will be at least one#attempt at fic in the future for me we'll see how it goes#in the meantime...#oh yeah fun fact#i fucking thought gurren lagann the mech was from gundam and so when i started recognizing it i went THAT'S WHERE IT'S FROM?? but in my hea#because i didn't actually watch gundam i was ambivalent about mechs as stated earlier but of the gundams that one was my favorite#AND IT'S NOT EVEN A GUNDAM I FEEL SLIGHTLY LIED TO BUT IN A GOOD WAY SOMEHOW???#anyway we're having a super normal one over here don't mind me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#sometimes. most times. if i cant articulate things properly i feel like my heads gonna explode. which is unfortunate bc i have the#language is hard brain problems. my neurology makes articulation difficult. but i try reguardless. which is sometimes. most times.#exhausting. that words gets thrown around a lot when i describe the patterns of my thoughts. exhausting. and it is i guess. tho id say its#more annoying and frustrating. but maybe its also exhausting. hard to tell when its how u think. but ive been reading a lot of papers this#weekend. enjoying the papers i read. papers about photosynthesis at the edge of habitability. about genetis and the structure and functions#of proteins. and the learning curve is steep but im learning bit by bit. and it just sorta makes me sad bc the way that my brain works has#so damaged the way that i interact with the world and i can see it at every step of my academic career. i dont even kno what to say abt the#past 2 years of my life. from where i stand now its just a black hole of self destruction. y did i do that? i dunno. at the time i was just#following the arbitrary rules and restrictions laid out for me within my head. did these rules have a rational basis? no. not usually. but#thats how it had to be. exhausting. but even then i coukd sometimes see thru to the wonder. and it was agony bc i wasnt allowed to think#abt it. its still agony now but i can feel it more often. maybe that's what happiness is to me. to be so full of wonder that i cant take it#i cant exist in that state or id b nonfunctional. its too big for my chest. it makes me want to scream and weep and pull at my hair. and#and its maddening bc i cant articulate it properly. except to call upon media short hands. there is wonder here. a nightmarish description#but not always. sometimes it was beautiful. theres a reason ive read annihilati0n 5 times despite hating the book. theres a reason i rewatch#the terror nearly once a month. to find beauty in a thing that causes you such terror and pain. theres something about it i can't find the#words for and its driving me nuts. exhausting. but so it goes#unrelated
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fandom-blackhole · 1 year ago
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tricksterlatte · 2 years ago
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Took a break from Twitter for a bit, but now I am here for some reason. I can’t explain what’s going on properly but safe to say I am mentally ill and not handling it too perfectly
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emo-is-sexy · 1 year ago
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I'm scared that I'll have sleep paralysis when i try to go to sleep. It's been a couple of months since the last time i had it and ive had it enough times that i know how to handle it in the moment but still. Scary
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cetoddle-archive · 1 year ago
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my heart aches so bad so constantly these days i just wanna plunge my hand into my chest, rip out my still beating heart, and tear it apart with my teeth
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itachiiwrites · 3 months ago
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He wanted them three rounds, DC had to come help him
Pairings: Established relationship, bf!gojo, reader is AFAB, a little lovesick gojo, he's overworked :(
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, freaky!gojo, marathon sex, p in v, (multiple) creampies and orgasms, squirting, feral gojo, sex in general.
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Gojo Satoru is a freak..
Rumors about him being an absolute slut is true, but there is no bigger example than Satoru who is a slut and a virgin, a walking contradiction, before he met you.
Satoru looks at you in almost apprehensiveness when you give him a soft gaze at the revelation. This wasn't a look of disappointment, it looked like....pity. And Satoru hated being pitied more than anything.
He's a little embarrassed, although you reassure him that it's something you will never care about.
"You are literally juggling too many things with barely three hours of sleep, and virginity is a social construct anyway.." You shrug, looking up at him hovering over you, his tip nuzzled between the ingress of your sopping pussy, and oh how he thought that the pity would make his cock soft but it didn't, it just made it harder. It was a little pathetic, the way his cock was so easy that mere words of care and tenderness and acknowledgement for his furious schedule has got him rock solid, with the pearls of his precum clustering on the exterior of your sweet cunt. He was that love starved.
It took everything to not give your pussy mauling thrusts already, he was never the one to talk about how he indeed wanted a break sometimes and he wouldn't even now, especially being this horny and excited that he felt like a dog in heat. He had more than a good idea of how to go on about it, he had seen it in the bad porno that never appealed to him.
"Sweetheart..just let me put it in, I feel like my cock is gonna explode..I don't want to think of a bunch of blobs that I exorcise, not very hot.." He chuckled cheekily, leaning into your cheek, looking at you with the periphery of his eyes with a lecherous gaze, planting hot, open mouthed kisses onto your jaw and neck while he ached.
"Always a brat.." You sighed, grabbing his endowed cock from the base, pushing it into your velvety walls with a look of challenge and amusement laced onto your face.
After that, all hell broke lose. There was nothing that would stop Gojo Satoru now, not even if he was to be kept caged within his infinity. He would break it, just to discern your sweet, sweet cunt.
The challenge that was plastered onto your face just vanished, your assumption that Satoru would stop just after the first round with the orgasm that hit him with the speed of light, which made him finish so fast that it was deplorable, was so so wrong. He went on, and on and on.
And Gojo Satoru was innately confident, the fact that this was his first time didn't matter. He was always explorative, always excessive. Bold of you to assume he understood the concept of moderation.
"O-oh..fuckk..Toru.." You looked up to him with your glassy, nearly red rimmed eyes from the nth orgasm of the night, your cloying moans just made him keep going. Your was pussy puffy and clit violently engorged after being fucked this thoroughly.
"U-uh-huh..yeah, you like that..fuuuck baby, look at you.." He cooed with a feral grin on his lips as he steadily moved his hips, keeping your legs hoisted up on his shoulders, getting the hang of it. His hip movements no longer uncoordinated. He had always been a fast learner. He stills his hips with a series of whimpers as he came with hot white, thick ropes into your womb, pulling out with a lewd pop that spilled the cum stuffed inside down to your ass. You moaned softly, hazy and a little disoriented as your fluttering pussy pushed it all out.
He hummed at the sight, tapping and massaging his now agitatingly red tip onto your clit, he himself could feel his brain seem afloat, reverberating to take you again even after the multiple orgasms. He was dead set.
He hissed softly with widened eyes, in surprise and amusement, a full blown throaty laugh echoing his throat when you squirted, gushing out like a dam. He vigorously rubbed his sensitive cock on your sloshing pussy, his cock unbearably hard again. He was hooked, addicted. To you.
He grasped your hips, pulling you forward which made you mewl at the suddenness. He pressed his hefty weight on your body, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. If he had a laceration on his brain from the way this image of you burned in his head, sprawled underneath him, all flushed, sweaty and a mess, just for him. He would die rather than using his RCT.
"God baby..you washed my cum away, gonna hafta, fill you up again.."
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©𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐢𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬
Plagarism not authorised.
m.list!
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luvyeni · 3 months ago
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HOT MESS ,, 이제노
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pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ collegecrush!jeno x reader wc. 2.4k
genre. smut
🦢◞  includes ... oral ( fem receiving ), unprotected sex, praise kink , this is kinda angsty.
request. can u write a "campus crush" fic based on jeno's look at the airport please 🙏🩷
「 authors note 𖹭 」 ngl i didn't expect it to be so angsty but reader literally is me and my brain.
❪ masterlist! ❫
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your brain was always on go; constantly it was like it never stopped, even when you would sleep it was like your brain wouldn't turn off— it was never ending, and becoming a college student; living on your own made it worse.
running into your class; the professors back was turned around so you snuck in , sitting down. “you're late again.” yoo jimin, your best friend; the complete opposite of you; she was constantly put together, it was like she had everything together. “i stayed up last night to study.” you whispered, huffing out pulling out your ipad, hair all over the place. “how did it go?” you stared at her stoically. “how do you think?” you said. “point taken.” she said.
“maybe you have like adhd or something.” karina walked next to you; watching you go through your messy planner. “because this can't be normal.” she said. “im sure the doctor has something to cure whatever this was.” you shrugged. “with my luck i would probably be too busy and forget to take it.” she laughed. “probably, you're just a hot mess and that's okay, i still love you anyway.” she wrapped her arms around you, calming you. “messy hair and disheveled clothes that i'm pretty sure you had on yesterday and all.”
jeno on the the hand; he seemed to have his life together— he never came to school looking crazy; even after a night out in which he was black out drunk with his group of friends, he'd turn up the next day, showered, shaven and ready to go on with his date. “it almost scary why aren't you hungover.”
haechan groaned, his head down low. “you out drunk me yesterday; jaemin left you in your dorm unable to pick yourself off the floor.” jeno smugly shrugged, his hair black hair was neatly styled, his outfit that he picked that morning neat on his body.. “i feel fine, maybe you should lay off the alcohol.” the boy would've lunged at the boy if he didn't feel like his head was gonna explode. “haechan look you and yn both look like you had a good time last night.”
jeno turned hearing your name, a small smile on his lips, one no one couldn't unless they were looking really close. “fuck off jaemin.” you huffed sitting down. “except yn looks like that all the time.” haechan said, yelling as you began bang on the metal table. “how's that headache? huh you asshole.” jeno held his hand out , stopping you. “you'll hurt yourself.”
he moved his hand away from you; that didn't really help your rapidly beating heart. along with the stress of school and your everyday life; jeno lee was another thing that raced throughout your already cluttered mind; he sometimes was the only thing that could calm your messy mind— not like he noticed or anything.
“she’ll hurt herself— she hurt me!” haechan cried out. “my head.” holding his head in his hands. “jimin hold me.” you all watched karina fight the whining boy off, you laughter making jeno smile slightly, only stopping when jaemin caught him; wiggling his eyebrows at the boy, jaemin was the only one who knew about his crush on the girl.
“you should ask her out.” jaemin said one day out of the blue. “yn, you should ask her out.” jeno was shocked; he thought he did a good job hiding his infatuation with you. “haechan isn't all the way there and renjun could care less, so of course they don't notice, but bro i'm your best friend , and i can tell , and you don't really hide , you literally write the notes down so she can study.” ever since that day, jaemin never let him live it down.
“yn you have a class soon.” jeno turned to you as you looked down at your phone. “oh yeah i better go.” you shot up. “my professor is gonna kill me if im late again.” you collected your things. “jeno don't you have this class too?” renjun asked, he nodded; calmly getting up, saying goodbye to everyone, before walking away; but walking slowly so you'd be able to catch up to him.
you both made it to the class, you found your seat in the back; jeno took a seat in the front like always, occasionally looking back to check on you— he felt bad, watching you stress out all the time, you could never seem to get anything right in your eyes; but in his eyes you were perfect.
“yn.” your professor stopped you as you were leaving out the door. “yes?” you stopped. “your research paper.” she started. “is there something wrong with it?” you sighed, she didn't have to say anything, but you knew. “listen what if i give you an extra day or two, go over it; read my notes and try again.” she said, you nodded. “thank you ma'am.” you turned walking out of the class, where jeno was waiting. “oh jeno you're still here?”
while waiting for you, jeno overheard your conversation with the professor. “yeah, everything okay?” you nodded. “just need to go home and get my head together so i can get this essay right this time.” he walked silently next to you, before he spoke up. “i can help you.” he said. “go over the essay with you.”
“y-you don't have to, it's all word vomit i don't want to put you through that.” he waved you off. “i don't mind it.” you were about to reject him again when he grabbed your arm, stopping you. “let me help you.” your eyes widened at the sudden touch. “sorry.” he said, removing his hand. “it-its okay.” you said, heart racing. “i can come over to your apartment and go over it with you.” he said. “and it won't be a problem?” he shook your head. “you'll never be a problem, okay?” you nodded. “o-okay.”
“come on let's go.”
it had been so long since you had anyone over besides karina and she was used to your madness; but it had been even longer since you had a cute guy over, and you weren't really planning on having one over— otherwise you would have cleaned your room. “it's a little messy.”
“it's okay, it's just clothes.” he smiled watching you frantically pick up the clothes, shoving them in your closet. “sit.” you pointed to your bed. “please, make yourself comfortable.” you said. “um …” you turned to jeno, your face losing all color— he was holding your bra in his hand. “did you forget something?”
you practically lunged at the boy to grab the item, throwing it into your closet. “let's get started.” you said; he smiled watching you go through your bag to pull out your laptop. “here.” you opened it, pulling up the essay. he took the laptop from your hands, your fingertips touching. “let's see, it can't be that bad.”
it was bad; but jeno didn't let you know that— well he tried. “um, okay.” he said, you frowned. “it's bad isn't it?” he sighed, reading through the essay, looking at you; your eyes were desperate. “i can help you fix it.” he said, you sighed. “it's useless.” taking away the laptop. “if only i can get my brain to stop just for a second , my essays won't be so shit.”
you hated this; your brain wouldn't stop, it was overwhelming. “hey.” jeno called your name, you bit at your nails in stress. “hey.” he stopped you, holding your hands down. “calm down , i told you i'll help you wouldn't i?” he said. “i’ve seen worse essays trust me, jaemin will plagiarize if i let him.” he laughed. “i can help you fix this, but you have to calm down first.” your eyes traveled to where your hands met. “you're so cute but you're a hot mess.”
“me-me? cute.” he chuckled; but you were freaking out inside and out, he shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose bridge. “let's finish this okay?” you nodded. “o-okay.”
after going over the mess of a essay; reading the notes the teacher gave you and jeno talking you through it; you finally put together an essay that was at least readable and would satisfy your professor. “thank you so much jeno, you saved my life.” you smiled. “it was all you, you'll do good if you just turn that pretty little head off and learn to breathe.”
“that's easy for you to say, your life is so put together.” you said. “i can barely get out of bed on time, it's like you said im a hot mess.”
“you don't want to hear my problems.” you said. “the essay is done and you probably have things to do, you can … mph” before you could get the rest out; jenos lips were on yours in feverish kiss, pulling away to give you enough air before his lips were on yours again.
he pulled away again, ready to kiss you again, but you held his chest signaling him to stop immediately. “did i make you uncomfortable?” he said. “no-no.” you said flustered. “just, it happened so fast, and now my head and my heart is racing.” you were rambling on and on and it made jeno want to kiss you again, you were so cute. “then just turn that pretty head off and let me help you.” he looked at you with so much want in his eyes. “okay?”
you nodded, he held the side of your face, pulling you into another kiss; his lips swiping across your bottom lip, sticking his tongue in your mouth , his grip on your waist, lifting your shirt. “lifting your arms for me pretty.” he took your shirt off , throwing it to the floor. “he-hey just because i use my floor as a hamper doesn't mean you do.”
he laughed, “i'll be sure to fold your clothes neatly the next time i fuck you.” he pulled your pants down, leaving you in your mismatched bra and panties. “baby you really are a hot mess aren't you.” he kissed your stomach once he laid you on your back. “i like that.” he reached for your waistband, pulling them down your leg. “keep them open pretty baby.” he kissed the sides of your thighs. “such a pretty little pussy.”
you felt the warmth of his lips as he kissed your cunt. “j-jeno.” it had been a while since you've felt anything like this, and lord was jeno good at what he was doing , licking your folds , his nose brushing up against your clit, for the first time in a very long time; there was only one thing on your mind— it was jeno.
“fuck jeno!” you moaned, gripping his dark locks. “im… im gonna cum.” you whined feeling him removing his lips for your clit , one of his fingers invading your hole. “you gonna cum for me?” you nodded, he groaned , his cock hard; he was ready to fuck you. “y-yes.” you gasped. “pl-please let me cum.”
“shit.” he cursed, adding another finger, curling them inside you. “so tight baby, go ahead and let go for me, make a mess all over my fingers for me.” you gasped out his name , moaning as you came. “good fucking girl.” he fingered you through your orgasm, until you were holding his wrist , grinding against it. “je-jeno.” he no longer looked put together; his hair messy, clothes disheveled— even his brain was running a mile a minute, he finally knew what it was always like in your head. “you look so pretty when you are cumming.”
ridding himself of his clothes; folding your legs in half, giving him a view of your cunt. “pretty little pussy, want me to stuff my fat cock inside?” slotting his cock in between your folds; moving his hips, the tip of his cock catching your clit , both of you moaning. “pl-please fuck me.” you begged. “shh , baby i got you.”
positioning his leaky tip at your entrance, slipping inside. “fuck.” he sighed, your cunt sucking him in. “so tight.” he gasped as he fully bottomed out. “je-jeno you're so big.” you moaned out; his hand coming up to your throat. “yeah, you like my cock stretching your tiny pussy?” he hissed as you tightened around him, your eyes crossed as he plowed into you. “did i fuck you're pretty head empty?” he questioned, a moan following. “had so much fuck so much going on inside it , now it's nothing but my cock.”
he tightened his grip around your throat; speeding up his thrust. “de-deeper jeno, fuck!” the desperation in your voice , you needed to feel him; the deeper he went , the tighter his hand wrapped around your throat— the less you thought about anything, all your troubles floated away. “je-jeno im gonna cum.”
“yeah?” he speed up, cursing as he chased his orgasm. “hold it just a little baby, fuck , wanna cum with you.” his forehead was pressed against his. “i-i can't , jeno im gonna cum.” you gasped , your fingernails digging into his arms. “ugh , fuck!” he cursed , rubbing your clit. “fuck i'm gonna cum , cum for me pretty baby.”
he made direct eye contact with you as you came , cunt gripping him like a vice. “shit!” he pulled out , roughly stroking his cock as he came, his warm seed splashing on your stomach. “fuck fuck fuck.” he squeezed his base , milking himself, groaning. “shit.”
“you want another?” he toyed with your clit. “your little clit is still desperate for my attention.” you moaned , his finger filling you up. “je-jeno.” your glazed over eyes. “your pretty little mind is floating somewhere else isn't it?” he chuckled. “fucked you too dumb?” you gasped , moving your hips, grinding against his hand. “go ahead, cum for me again, pretty.”
you felt like you were floating; mind empty as you came down from second high. “come back to me, pretty girl.” he coached you back down , a smile on his face. “good girl.” he removed his fingers from your cunt. “you did so good for me.”
“something on your mind?” jeno asked as he watched you pick at your nail beds for five minutes. “there's always something on my mind.” you laughed , about to bite your nails , he grabbed your hand, holding your hand down , rubbing your knuckles. “not when you're occupied.” he smirked , you slapped his naked chest. “it's not that.” you said. “it's you.” he tilted his head. “what do you mean?” you shrugged. “you can tell me.” he said, you sighed.
“when you're around you help me not think, you calm me.” you confessed. “so what you're saying you're a hot mess without me?” you pouted. “why are you making fun of me?” you whined , he laughed , wrapping his arms around your body. “thats fine with me.” he kissed your forehead. “you're a hot mess.”
“but you're my hot mess.”
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©LUVYENI
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foundfamilynonsense · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I just want to sit down and say, like… Gay men, lesbian women, and straight people. You could wake up tomorrow and discover you’re actually bi.
Tomorrow you could meet someone of the sex you do not think you are attracted to and go “oh fuck”. There is no rule— nothing—that says that could not happen to you at any moment.
“I’ve lived forty years without—” so?
“I can just tell I’m—” how?
Now, we can get into the conversation of how these labels aren’t actually law, and that you can be a lesbian even if there was that one guy and you can be a straight guy if there were those two guys in college and etc.
And that’s totally true and valid and we should normalize that. But that’s another post.
My point for this post is that, yes, you are one strange meeting away from being bisexual. It will probably never happen. But you can never say with 100% certainty that it won’t happen.
But that doesn’t mean every gay, lesbian, and straight person should start calling themselves bisexual just in case. That would be a completely absurd thing to expect.
Can you imagine if we go around to gay men and were like “but how do you know you’ll never be attracted to a woman?” Imagine if we did it to straight people? The idea you have to call yourself Bi just in case?
This is easy to understand. So why is it so hard for people to understand when it comes to asexual and aromantic people?
Like… I suppose I could wake up tomorrow and catch some feels for someone. I… doubt it. But it could happen.
But I’ve been alive 22 years and it hasn’t happened yet. So why should I expect it? Why should I spend time thinking about it? Why should I label myself based on that slim possibility?
The number of straight people who have said to me “well you never know” or “maybe you just haven’t met the right person” or whatever. Can you all IMAGINE what they would say to me if I threw it back?
“Oh, sally, you don’t like any women yet but you never know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.” Their heads would explode I think.
I am an adult. I have been through college and it’s social life. My brain is (basically) done developing and I finished puberty quite a while ago. How late do you have to be before people concede that you’re not a “late bloomer” you’re just not gonna bloom at all?
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and be attracted to someone. I still would consider myself on the aroace spectrum. But to be honest I think I know myself enough to trust it’s not going to happen. And I don’t think I should have to plan for it or expect it.
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cyanidas · 1 year ago
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hey this is actually one of the hardest things ive ever tried to do with my time as an artist. how the FUCK do etsy/shopvee/redbubble artists do this for a LIVING????
BIG News: I'm trying to make some really huge changes, and I'll need your help.
Before I grant any details, I gotta preface everything with the reality of our situation; Jay, the sole breadwinner, has been a victim of yet another "new hire surprise fire". He was booted without warning, written or verbal, about two weeks ago.
Evidently this is very common in the production wood/metalworking industry, otherwise this wouldn't have happened so many fucking times, because he's a great person with amazing work ethic and that's not just my bias talking - most of his coworkers have felt the exact same way as me across every company he's worked for.
Of course, THAT DAY we wasted no time in reaching out to contacts and applying for mountains of positions on Indeed, on company websites, and the state hiring portal. Nobody has contacted him back. ONE hiring agency gave him a "maybe". Even I have applied to several places for myself, with not so much as a rejection.
Seeing the trauma this caused him first hand was my final fucking straw.
I'm sick to death of suffering this tragedy. I'm sick to death of hearing the love of my life, my Fiancé, cry because of how he was fired. And I'm sick to death of coming here or crawling to my friends and family for money they don't have because we're legitimately hopeless for it.
I don't have the heart to continually beg for cash. It was never something I've been good at or proud of doing, and it kills me inside to DM people for commissions I don't even have the time nor energy to do. I'm sick of this. All of this. I need it all to stop.
So of course, I want to nip this in the goddamn bud.
I met a very sweet vendor in Iowa who gave me a load of resources on how to get started selling my art on actual things I get to see and hold for myself and hand to people in person, namely conventions. It's a hell of a risk but I need this to work. I'm so exhausted from asking for money so please help me make this be the last time I ever need to come here for help.
More details will come, because I'm also tired of making plans and leaping forward without having anything to show for it. When I actually have these products designed, that's when I'm going to show you guys everything I've made, with as much detail on my thinking and planning as I can get out there (because lord knows the internet has taken advantage of people's generosity before).
When that time comes, please *please* give me your support. It would legitimately be world-changing for us.
I just wanted to get this out here asap so people would know what I'm going through and, hopefully plan along with me. I don't just want this to happen, I *need* this to *succeed*. I don't have any other option. Right now, I'm busting my ass on product designs (literally because this chair hurts!!), and Jay can attest to that.
I plan on having *something* to show for all my hard work by next week, and soon after, a Kickstarter to make it a reality. Keep an eye out!!
#im fucking exploding. im cannibalizing my hands as we speak#i open the wip. i look at my template or what ive completed so far. i fucking. seize up. i close the art program#even if i have the inspiration and i have the motivation..when i get there and i try to Conceptualize Ideas#i get this like. feeling of disgust and repulsion and frustration and apathy#and my body feels like i just ran a short distance (im out of shape so this is a Not Good feeling)#my heart is sinking and its like im depressed all over again and trying to get myself out of bed for the first time at rock bottom#why does this feel so impossible? why do i feel like im gonna throw up??#its just?? stickers????#i can do commissions without this feeling anymore but i cant make a little object for you to put on your notepad and forget about?? TxT;;#sometimes i wish i wasnt the way i was. i wish i had the youtuber type autism where i can focus on this nonstop because of Passion~ or w/e#my focus is so spotty i cant even do the one thing i was groomed to do my entire life#godddd#for the record. if u read this far#im fine in like. every other aspect of my life#im healthy both mentally and physically. well. healthier than ive ever been at least. maybe i could get more sleep fkgjfk but#im not unconfident in my skills. im not unsure of what im going to draw. i have a list of things.#i have concepts for a good chunk of these sticker designs#but like. i open the document and i want to die#but if i dont do this. if i cant make these product designs then we will only suffer. i havent gotten any call-backs (from places who are#VERY obviously hiring!!)#this is my like. Do Or Die mentality kicking in. if i dont do this then we cant save money to move to a more affordable place.#we'll continue to run completely dry on cash. rent is all we can afford right now and it'll stay that way unless we can find another income#and this is all i can do that could possibly work#i really dont want to open up commissions yet because i cannot keep relying on my friends. i NEED to branch out#if i dont then. i dont know what we'll do#im scared. why cant i get my brain to work on this? they're easy and simple and nice. but.#god. i cant do this. i need some way to make this process easier.#intercom#vent
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billluver0124 · 6 months ago
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"middle school shenanigans!"
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synopsis : tom goes through his 'first love' experience with y/n! WARNINGS: there is none, its a fluff story !!
authors note: once again, @rottinglilys helped me with the plot of the story ! i hope you guy enjoy my lovies<3
it all started back last year in grade 7, tom had a MASSIVE crush on y/n. he would always catch himself staring at her in classes because they had most classes together.
he always adored how she looked; her hair, her eyes, her bubbly personality, her willingness to be kind towards those who dont deserve it. but most of all...her smile. toms heart used to explode like fireworks whenever he was blessed to see her smiled.
then on the day before spring break started, tom slipped her a note in her locker.
"Hey, ich bin in dich verknallt. Magst du mich auch?
ja oder nein ?-t.k"
y/n was so confused when she got the note. she didn't know what 't.k' stood for, until the very last hour of school. when tom decided to man up and go up to her.
"y/n!" he yelled, jogging up to her to catch her attention. she turns around "oh hi tom!" she said, smiling. tom almost fell to his knees right then and there, but no! he needed to tell her how she felt! "did you get my note?" tom asked, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck. then it hit y/n straight in the face, t.k = tom kaulitz, how could i be so fucking stupid? she thought to herself. "o-oh uh yea!" she answered nervously. "c-can i see it?" tom asked, y/n nervously giving it back. he opens it to see that it wasnt answered "you didnt answer it, do you not like me back?" tom felt his heart sting a little but it was soon reassured. "n-no i do like you, i like you a-a lot!..." y/n blurted out "i just didnt know what 't.k' meant at first until now..." tom chuckled, "what did you think it meant?" "i-i dont know...t-turkey kabob?" she joked, causing them to both laugh. after a moment of silence, tom speaks "so, are you my girlfriend now?" tom asked, not knowing where to go from here. y/n nods, giving him a hug. tom feels his heart flutter at the feeling of y/n in his arms. "you wanna hangout this weekend? ill ask my mom if its okay" she asked, tom nods "yea for sure! ill see you then"
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it was now grade 8, tom and y/n have been dating for a year! their families have grown fond of each other and they hangout at each others house after school most of the week and sometimes on weekends...
with the condition that the door must stay open of course...
today they were at toms house, tom was showing her a song he was playing some guitar for her and she just peacefully watched. y/n always admired toms talent on guitar, she knew he was gonna make it big one day.
after a little while, he puts the guitar away and pats a spot next to him "wanna cuddle liebe?" he asked, she smiles and lays next to him. he pulls her into his embrace, her pretty head rests upon his chest as he strokes her hair.
as tom stroked her hair, y/n found herself staring at a particular feature on his face, his lips. the pretty pink color, the way they curved into a smile whenever he was happy, and oh my god his lip piercing...y/ns never kissed anyone before, but she wanted to kiss him so bad. "is something wrong?" tom asked, slightly nervous. "nothing its just..." y/n took a breath before she finished her question "h-have you ever kissed anyone?" tom sighed "uhm, yeah..my babysitter when i was like..9" "oh.." "why? have you ever kissed anyone schatz?" tom asked, y/n looks down; embarassed "n-no, i havent.."
then almost immediately, tom got an idea in his little brain>.<
"do you want to have your first kiss?" "well, yeah every girl wants to have their first kiss" y/n joked "no schatzi..." tom chuckled "i mean do you want to have it...with me?" y/n hesitates for a moment, nervous of if shes a good kisser or not. shes really new to this! what if shes a bad kisser? what if she goes too far? but it couldnt be that bad right? its just a kiss for christs sake!
"yeah..is that okay tommy?" "its more than okay with me schatzi.." tom sat up, scooting closer to her "you ready?" he asked...
y/n nods, shakily moving her face closer to him. tom places a hand on her cheek then boom! their lips were sealed together! (aww so cute! >.<) y/n places a hand on his shoulder, deepening the kiss. then they let go because if they kissed any longer they would suffocate!
"woah.." y/n mumbled, tom chuckling at her reaction "did you like it?" "yeah i did" y/n said, softly smiling... "then we should kiss more often then hm?" tom said, smirking at his girlfriend.
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r1pp4r · 1 year ago
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• heres some more COD smutty smut >:))) so here are some nsfw könig headcannons!! im gonna do my man simon here soon but könig was taking up my entire SOUL last night so i wrote these :))
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warnings: NSFW!! MDNI P L E A S E <333 theres so much like its so much
- [ ] • this man is absolutely obsessed with a size kink. and i mean OBSESSED. he loves that you’re so small he can pick you up, and maneuver you however he wants. whenever he’s hitting it from the back esp in the shower, he’ll just pick you up and hold you while he slides you open on his cock 🫣
- [ ] • he loves any type of leather toy. he is a leather man all the way, and he also definitely has harnesses for you. he’d probably have you wear a leather collar at LEAST a few times 🖤
- [ ] • okay!! so yes könig is an absolute monster in bed but he’s also very very aware. he knows when it’s getting to be painful but also.. he’s just oblivious to how BIG he is. he doesn’t realize that every time he’s slamming into your little cunt that he’s literally splitting you in half almost
- [ ] • primal play. he absolutely LOOOOVES to chase you around the house while you hide and he drags you out from underneath something or literally ensnares you, it’s pretty hot ngl
- [ ] • honestly i think he’s vocal :) grunts, groans, moans, pants you name it. he’s very animalistic? def growling and like… almost marking tendencies?
- [ ] • will call you so many pet names and i mean SO many, especially in german. he’ll praise you in german while absolutely railing you.
- [ ] • idk i don’t feel like he’d be big into impact play? like p*ssy slapping n stuff yeah, ass here too but like HITTING you in the face? idk maybe a light slap here and there 🧍‍♂️ but nothing gruesome (besides ur ass that has been bloodied before)
- [ ] • he’s willing to try most stuff once, twice depending on the situation.
- [ ] • he is an edger to the fucking MAX. simon does edge you but thats bc he likes you to cum hard. KÖNIG?? NAHHHH, this man wants you so brain dumb that you’re basically drooling for him. he loves to overstimulate your body with giving you everything, then taking away his fingers or shaft at the last minute so you clench on nothing..
- [ ] • sometimes he’s gentle. but those aren’t necessarily nights he’s being nice. he’ll just slowly fuck into you from the side, basically just using you. you’d be cockwarming him 100%, and he’d just feel you explode and then keep going :D
- [ ] • also!! sweet stuff <333 aftercare is so, so so important to him. since he basically makes you brain dead for a little while, he loves to carry you around the house, gets water, snacks, comfort plushes n such. especially comfort clothes. he even got chair for the shower so after you all are done you dont have to stand :) he’ll def put you in one of his sweaters, shirts, etc. and then pull you against his chest and cuddle you until you fall asleep or he’s ready for the next round 🧍‍♂️
- [ ] • speaking of.. yeah this man is absolutely animalistic. he’s growling, biting, scratching, pulling, yelling. anything you can think of primal and he’ll do. it’s actually really really hot
- [ ] • … he’s an anal man sometimes. and has 100% gotten pegged but will never speak of it.
- [ ] • he has a breeding kink like a motherfucker. that man will absolutely fill you until you genuinely have a bulge. he loooves watching his cum literally ooze out of your literal swollen cunt and he always talks abt how hes gonna fill you with his kids and mark you so no other man wants you 🧍‍♂️
ANYWAY THATS ALL!!! simon comin tn :)
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peaterookie · 10 months ago
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Lupin Week 2024 Day 4: AUs and Mythology
Goemon's face looks like he's seen a ghost.
ahhhh god ok my stupid stupid silly au i made a year ago.... this will be a bit long so get ready
tldr: lupin died, the gang is alive. goemon finds lupin but he's a shark merman!? and lupin remembers nothing!!!
long version:
so this AU follows upon the story of shin lupin, which basically, the gang gets killed off by zenigata because he rigged an island full of explosives.
instead of them all dying however, lupin decides to knock the gang unconscious and find a way for them to escape off the island safely, leaving only him in the island to die.
the rest of the gang had no idea how they escaped and assumed that lupin had sacrificed himself for them. they woke up adrifted on the ocean until they eventually got picked up by a ship where the invisible captain from new adventures returns. but ah ill spare the details for another day
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2 years have passed and the gang just kinda separated to do their own thing. we'll only focus on goemon cuz he's the featured character of this comic.
goemon decided to escape the life of crime that has burdened him for years living as a part of the lupgang. he's mostly a wanderer now and tries to do good and help people along the way
funnily enough, goemon is not the first person to find lupin, but I'll talk about this later. but goemon is definitely very mixed about seeing his friend who he thought was dead for years. he doesn't know whether to be happy or worried.
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lupin, at the brink of death after the explosion, plummets down the ocean and wakes up one day, feeling like he's been rebirthed!
essentially, lupin became a merman because right before he could die, his body (i mean what's left of it 💀) interacted with a magic crystal that has the ability to grant life to a living being.
It's really rare, but it exists in clusters deep in the ocean floor or- deep under the rocks of an island :) you can say im bullshitting, which i am but i dont think exploding an entire island down to every rock has happened before, so it can kinda make sense why something so coincidental about these crystals could happen. (I AM TOTALLY MAKING EXCUSES I JUST WANTED TO MAKE LUPIN A MERMAN.)
and so these crystals used whats left of lupins body and reassembled him back, and idk other essences of the ocean to make him a merman!
the memories of his past life have definitely been buried deep inside his brain to the point he can't remember any of it though, so he thinks that he was born under the ocean and has lived there for his entire life. other than that he retains almost everything about himself, down to stealing stupid shit and messing with humans just for the fucks of it. he's kinda seen as like a nessie.
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anyways, y'know how i said goemon wasn't the first one to meet lupin? that's because lupin has met zenigata before!
living a life with only fishes around means lupin's kinda lonely and likes to stalk humans sometimes. the interaction with him and zenigata did not end well though, and lupin has no idea why zeni wants him dead so much.
after that he's way more cautious around people that look like zenigata- hatted big men with guns. its gonna be fun once he sees jigen.
ok what else... i think that's all i want to reveal now. will i do more of this? maybe. maybe not. kinda embarrassed of this because of how silly it is but i hope you people find this interesting! byebye
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sea-of-dust · 1 year ago
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Hello c:
can I request Akira and Ryuji with a f!s/o who is going through her period
(I'm suffering the wrath of cramps 😭)
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This is the worst....
Ryuji and Joker/Akira x Fem!Reader
Summary: you're on your period with them trying to help you
Notes: HI Hi annon!, dw I feel ya 💀 ALSO I GOT THE OTHER MESSAGE IM SORRY I MADE YOU WAIT SO LONG 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️
Warnings: mentions of blood, the hell of period craps
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He has futaba he already knows what it must be like for you maybe even worse, so he brings you stuff you like in hopes you don't turn into a fire breathing dragon and spit fire (futaba)
Offers to do your homework for you or help you with it. He wants you to rest, don't stress about it too much not like he memmorised your handwriting for this exact purpose. So what if they aren't causing you that much pain you rest watch him speed run homework.
He lays his head on your stomach sometimes, this could lead to teasing unless you were actually about to make futabas story real. "Hey leave my girlfriend alone stomach" "stop qouting that!" Getting you to laugh made it worth it
He will lay with you even if you don't ask you could take a nap and wake up with him on his phone next to you. "You're awake?" Scooing over with a chipper grin on his face he shows you his phone "take a peak at this" as he shows you the video you don't notice him sneaking his arm under your torso to pull you into his chest. "Felt that" "awe" you feel him lean over you to kiss your cheek "I woulda got you this time sure of it" smiling weakly you kiss him back "not a chance"
He does cook for you during these times. The godsend of his cooking always make you forget about the pain and misfortune of these unfortunate times. "I can spoon feed you if you want" "YES"
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He looks like his brains about to explode when he learns your on your period. "Ohhh that time of the month. No biggie!" Until you didn't show up to school one day because of your cramps
He did come running to your house with pads and the plush you kept hugging when you stayed in his. "Miss l/n it's an emergency please let me stay with your daughter!" "Oh you must be Ryuji! She talks so much about you!" Her eyes water as she fondly tells him about the times you spoke about him. It was nice but what was great was sneaking away mid rant. "Y/n!" "Ryuji?!"
He takes oddly great care of you, offering you food and bringing a game with him. "You brought alot-" "well yea I didn't know what you were in the mood for so I brought everything I knew ya liked" "They're gonna last me years..." "perfect!"
Only lays next to you if you ask him to. Feels like if he moves the wrong way it'll make you uncomfortable. So when you eventually get him to lay next to you he's just a board, his mind comming up with all sorts of theories for what would happen if he even breathed wrong.
So the next day you came to school the guy was with you every step. "Ryuji your classrooms next door" "what if you pass out" "they aren't that bad worse case I end up vomiting" "what if there's no bag!" You sigh patting his shoulder "listen I'll be fine" it's gonna take the bell to ring for him to finally give in. Doesn't mean he isn't walking you home keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.
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omegaverse-seeker · 5 months ago
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um do you have any abo parent and child headcanons? I just want some pure fluff pwetty pwease? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
Damn, got this ask FOUR years ago. Whoopies.
I need fluff, so I guess I gotta make it myself. Lol.
Beta parents doing tons of research when they find out that their pup(s) are gonna be Alphas and or Omegas. Like literally getting so many books and supplies that would benefit them in the long run.
Alpha and Omega parents treating their Beta child with as much love and attention as they would with an Alpha or Omega child.
Alpha taking their pups out, but the Alpha making an adorable and big show outta it.
I'm a sucker for a family coordinating outfits with each other. NOT MATCHING, THAT'S LAME!
I feel like there is a lot of respect and boundaries between parents and pups. There's a lot of wordless communication as well. Seeing as Omegaverse is often depicted as a smell/pheromone-based world, parents are really acute to what is up with their pups.
Sounds are just as important in Omegaverse. There are specific noises that pups make that give parents an idea of what their child wants. Grunts, whines, purrs, etc. They also specific from family to family.
I really love the thought of Betas being super parents to their kids, like yeah I know Omegas are stereotyped to be the perfect parents, but a Beta doing the same if not more? Them becoming the really loving, dorky, and cool parent when their pups are older? I'm exploding.
Nesting family time? Please, I'm crying.
This one is gonna be random but there are so many photo and video services. In my headcanon Alpha/Omega couples tend to have multiples, so they'd have so many physical pieces of media for each of their pups growing up.
I think I mentioned this on another post, but sometimes some nesting items are passed down to pups.
Family and pack are a very vital part of the Omegaverse. So I can imagine a lot of time off for parents or guardians. Parent day at school? Pup day at work? Paid family leave? Maternity and or paternity leave? Slay.
There's a HUGE market for momentum boxes. Pups crafts? Hair clippings? First tooth? First scented item? All go into a very protective and fancy box for the pups.
Lots of classes for mommy or daddy and me. Them doing little activities or learning new skills.
This is all my brain has for now. Hope these are good!!
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