#SO GOOD
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thebigcj · 3 days ago
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I JUST READ THE LATEST UPDATE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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ive heard the egg cracked!
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lawyerscar · 2 days ago
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cleo’s squeals of excitement and delight when seeing tango’s teknicians was SO cute and absolutely deserved. get it king!
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enchantress666 · 3 days ago
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This cracked me up for real. omg i love this community! And i am so not normal about these two!
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lady-djarin · 22 hours ago
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THAT SHOULD BE MEEEEE
on the job
joel miller x female reader
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summary: you and joel are forced to work together, but neither of you can get past the others stubborn attitude or contractor!joel and interior designer!reader fuck in a walk-in closet
content: nsfw, 18+ mdni, pre outbreak!joel, he’s kind of a huge asshole sorry, teasing, degradation, dirty talk, slightly dubcon, fingering, use of nicknames such as princess sweetheart and good girl, finger sucking, unprotected p in v sex, rough sex, sex against a wall, kinda public sex bc it’s on a job site?? pull out game strong with this one
author’s note: based on this lovely request. i made joel a little mean bc it felt right but at the end of the day he will forever be babygirl. also, i know very little about both of these professions so i apologize for any inaccuracies in that department
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You liked to think that you were easy to work with, always polite and mindful— pleasant even.
You mostly kept to yourself, especially when you were working on a project alongside others, however, not everyone shared your cooperative mindset.
In fact, you had worked with a multitude of assholes. Men who thought they held some kind of power over you, who flourished under the opportunity to demean and mock your job like theirs was more important, but none of them even held a candle to Joel Miller.
Your paths crossed when you were hired by a pretentious, middle-aged woman in Austin to help design the interior of her new home— a home that was still under construction.
To make yourself familiar with the layout, you visited the site multiple times in the weeks before construction was scheduled to finish.
It was always an easy and uneventful trip. You greeted the workers, took a few pictures, wrote down some dimensions and then you were gone in twenty minutes tops; but that all changed the day you met Joel. 
You waltzed into the house, waving to one of the men you had come to know from your previous visits and then you heard it, a deep berating voice targeted directly at you.
“Who the hell are you and why are you on my site without a fuckin’ hard hat?”
You stopped in your tracks as you were met with an unknown face. 
“Uh sorry. I’m working on an interior design project for the Johnson’s. They told me I was welcome to come check out the space if I needed anything.” You didn’t know why, but your voice was coming out in compliance, the tone hushed. 
The way this man approached you was incredibly entitled and unabashedly rude.
Normally you wouldn’t let some asshole like this get within two feet of you, let alone talk to you like that; but this guy had you questioning your morals for a split second. He was tall, and broad, and handsome. The southern drawl slipping from the smug curl of his lips and the flex of his biceps as his arms crossed over his chest, had your words stuttering.
“Well, until my job is finished, and the Johnson’s have the keys to their front door, I call the shots. And I don’t do well with unexpected visitors walkin’ around while my guys are trying to get work done.”
Your mouth nearly hung open at his words.
You’d barely said a word to him and he was coming at you with a disgustingly brash and assertive attitude. What the hell was his deal?
“Okay...” The word was drawn-out as it fell from your lips in annoyance.
“Well, it’s kind of funny, because this is probably the fifth time I’ve been here, and none of your guys seem to give a rats ass, so how about you let me do my job and I’ll let you do yours.” 
Finally, you had gotten past the stranger’s criminally good looks and stuck to your guns.
There was no way in hell you were going to let him reprimand you for doing your job. Afterall, you had every right to be here. 
“Yeah well, my guys will let you do whatever you want when you’re prancin’ around here in tight little dresses and high heels. You think they’re just bein’ nice for the hell of it?” 
His irritation was masked by amusement as he looked you up and down, dramatically raking his eyes over your body. 
“I don’t know who you think you are, but I’d really appreciate it if you could just drop the attitude and keep things professional.” The quality of your voice was stern, juxtaposing the way his eyes on your body had you suddenly feeling a rush of heat throughout your chest.
Anger.
The warmth was an angry fervor, definitely not one of lust or temptation. It was a burning irritation for the man standing in front of you, not a curious warmth for how his eyes clung to every curve of your body, taking his time drinking in any exposed skin.
His smile widened as he watched you falter under his stare. “I’ll drop my attitude when you drop yours sweetheart.”
“Listen, Mr-“
“Miller. Joel Miller.”
“Okay, Mr. Joel Miller. I have work to do, so I’m just going to walk past you, take a few notes and I’ll be out of your hair. Deal?” 
“Fine. But if I see you back here again you better be wearin’ a hard hat. Don’t need any trouble because you trip and hit your pretty little head.” He let his eyes wander down your body once more, his voice full of sarcasm.
“Yeah yeah, got it boss.” You scoffed as you pushed past his broad frame. You didn’t turn to look back, but you could practically feel his eyes burning into you as you swayed into the entry way, hoping it was the last time you’d ever have to speak to him.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
You ran into Joel a few more times, each meeting more infuriating and demeaning than the last. He always had a smart comment on his tongue or a mocking intention in his voice. 
Joel Miller had quickly become the bane of your existence; yet, for some reason there was a part of you, deep down, that always hoped to run into him when you went to scout out a new project for the house.   
Maybe because he was undeniably handsome, always walking around with a charming smirk on his lips and a devious glint in his big brown eyes. It was almost as if he were challenging you— seeing how far he could push you before you snapped. 
He continued to test your patience as you now stood in the giant walk-in closet off the primary bedroom.
You were trying to establish a color scheme sophisticated enough to fit Miss Johnson’s impossible to please pallet while Joel was making unnecessarily loud noises across the room.
He was far from graceful, the slamming and pounding of tools was all you could hear as he worked on one of the many intricate shoe shelves on the wall.
“I thought this side of the house was done.” You were speaking without looking in his direction, your eyes following the paint swatches on the wall. 
“Was.” Joel’s voice was gruff as he continued working.
“Until the queen decided she needed more storage for all her designer shit.” He was chuckling at his own words, side eyeing you from his spot kneeling on the floor. 
“You are genuinely the most unprofessional person I’ve ever met.” You dismissed his rude comment about the woman you were both employed by.
“That right?”
You refused to look at him, but you could hear the delight in his voice. 
“Absolutely.” Your response was curt, a quick and straight-forward delivery.
“Good.”
As if you couldn’t hate him more, the word leaving his lips had you turning your head sharply in his direction, an appalled expression plastered across your face. 
“God you get on my last nerve.”
“That right?” Again, his lips tugged into a smirk as he looked at you. 
You raised your brows in annoyance with a single nod of your head at his question.
“Good.” His voice was taunting as he watched you shake your head in frustration. 
You brought your eyes back to the wall in front of you, not giving Joel another second of your attention.
After a few seconds of silence his deep voice broke into the room. “You know, if you weren’t so uptight, maybe I’d ask you out for a drink sometime.” 
It took you a minute to register his words. Was he implying that he wanted to ask you on a date while insulting you at the same time? What a fucked-up, backhanded compliment; one that had your chest stirring with warmth.
“Well, I guess it’s too bad I’m such an high-strung bitch then.” Sarcasm dripped from your words as you kept your eyes trained ahead, your head spinning from Joel’s implicit interest. 
“I doubt you’d last one minute in the bar I’d take you to anyway.”
His comment had your head snapping back again. This time his eyes were already on you, waiting to see a reaction. 
“And why’s that?” Your voice cut through the room at his assumption. 
“Because it’s not exactly a five star establishment, and I think you’re just like all these pretentious fucks you work for.” He raised an eyebrow at you before turning back to the shelf in front of him, tending to a few finishing touches. 
“Always so put together, walking around here with your shoulders high.” He was nonchalant as he criticized you, hands busy taking measurements, not even paying an ounce of attention to the dirty look you were currently shooting at him from the other side of the room. 
“You think you’re better than everyone, but you’re just another pretty face with an overblown ego.”
There it was. The final blow that had your body tensing with anger.
You couldn’t believe that just a few seconds ago you were letting him flatter you, swooning under the smallest inkling of positivity he threw your way.
He was the worst kind of guy, the kind that built you up just to tear you down. The kind that wanted to make you feel worse about yourself so you would go running to him for a semblance of positive reinforcement.
Joel Miller liked the chase— thrived off being such a douchebag that women somehow ended up falling on their knees for him. But you, you weren’t going to be that woman. 
“Me? Talk about a massive-fucking-ego, take a look in the mirror Miller. You’re the one always making sure I know my place around here, acting like a fucking sociopath. It’s like you get off on being an asshole.”
He stopped what he was doing and looked directly at you, his expression unreadable, like your cruel words caused a switch in him to flip. 
“Maybe I do.”
“What?”
“Maybe I like gettin’ under your skin, watchin’ you get all flustered.” He spoke slowly, setting down his materials and standing to his feet.
“Think it’s kinda cute. You’re always tryin’ to act all big and bad, but I know I make you nervous. I can see it in the way you look at me.” He didn’t move, the smirk on his face causing your eyebrows to furrow in irritation. 
You crossed your arms over your chest, standing strong on your opinion that Joel was the world’s biggest asshole. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting his words get to you.
“You can stop wherever you’re going with this. I’m not here to play your little bullshit games, I’m here to do a job and get paid.”
“Who says you can’t have a little fun on the job?” His voice was laced with a deep seriousness as he set his tools down on one of the many shelves adorning the walls. You watched him over your shoulder but kept your back turned, your body still facing the wall.
“Turn around.” The command left his lips and you wanted to laugh at his attempt of authority but the sincerity in his voice stopped you in your tracks. 
“What? No-“
“C’mon sweetheart, I think we both know you like bein’ told what to do.” His voice cut you off, the signature smirk on his lips sending a buzz straight to your head.
You didn’t mean to, or maybe you did, but your body turned to face him, watching intently as he continued speaking. His broad frame emphatic as he stood across from you.
“I bet you like it, having someone boss you around. Makes you feel a little inferior.”
As the words left his lips he began walking toward you.
It was a casual stroll, not intense or threatening, yet you felt your pulse racing and your posture slumping at his advances.
“Oh please. You need a reality check Joel.” 
“Wanna give it to me princess?”
You kept the appearance of control as he continued moving forward, but internally you were fighting feelings of complete disarray.
You wanted to be offended— maybe even slap him across the face for his wildly inappropriate nickname and the implication of his words. But instead, you froze, his body now less than a foot away from yours and his words ringing in your ears. 
There was absolutely no denying the way his statement had your thighs clenching and your head spinning. Something in his delivery, smug and dirty with his eyes holding a perverted hunger and a promise of follow through, made you weak.
You kept your body from jolting when you felt the touch of his hand wrapping around your waist, finding purchase dangerously low on your back. 
“Bet you’ve never done anythin’ like this.” His voice was sturdy— rigid with power.
The weight of his hand was rough, his palm resting just above the curve of your ass. His touch was heavy yet temperate as he held you, softly pulling you’re your body further into his. 
“Lettin’ some guy you barely know put his hands all over you.”
You watched his eyes carefully, your lips parted but you couldn’t find any words to fill them. You weren’t sure if you wanted to tell him to stop or keep going. 
“Bet all the guys you hook up with are just as prim and proper as you. Can’t imagine that those dipshits graduating from UT with a business degree are fuckin’ you the right way.”
His other hand came to the small of your waist, the movement sending a faint gasp straight to your lips. Your reaction had Joel smirking, reinforcing his grip on your body.
“Probably don’t even know how to get you off.” 
“You’re disgusting.” Your voice was a whisper. The insult that you meant to hurl his way dissolved in a pitiful sigh at the way his fingertips were latching onto you.
“Am I? Bet you like that too.” This time he leaned in, causing his words to land directly in your ear, his breath warm on your neck.  
“Bet you want someone a little rough around the edges. Someone to fuck you real nice.” 
As he spoke, his fingers curled into your body. His grip on you constricting.
His frame pushed into yours, sending you shuffling backward until your back was met with the solid friction of the wall.
“Joel..” 
You were searching in your mind, trying to form an articulate sentence to explain why this was wrong; why you couldn’t be in this position with him.
But he had you trapped against the weight of his body— big and wide and rough.
Every single rational thought in your head dissipated, replaced by an instinctual need to have him fuck you against the wall of this ridiculously expensive closet.
He was right, you’d never done anything like this and the excitement of it— the risk, had your entire body burning with white-hot desire. 
“Tell me to stop and I will.” His hands were holding your hips, pressing you into the wall with his chest dangerously close to yours. 
“But I don’t think you want me to.” For a single second you could see an indication of honesty in his eyes as he looked you over, searching for any sign of distress on your face. And when he couldn’t find it, his stare narrowed and his hands held tighter, rotating your body in his grasp until your chest was pressed against the wall. 
“I think,” He leaned into you, your ass pushing against the bulge in his jeans as his hum landed on the skin right beneath your ear. 
“You want me to lift up this pretty little dress and fuck you nice and hard right here, against this wall.”
His hands found the hem of your dress, bringing it up just enough to bunch at your waist.
Your lower half was almost bare, the only clothing keeping your cunt from being fully exposed to him was the little black thong encasing the dripping mess that had now built up between your legs. It didn’t stop him from reaching between your bodies, pressing his thumb against your clothed entrance. 
“Fuck- you’re soaked princess.” The first word was a prolonged throaty groan, the rest of the sentence fumbling behind it. 
“How long you been thinkin’ bout this huh? Me touchin’ you, makin’ you beg for it.” He was having too much fun playing with you through your panties, his thumb threatening to dip into you even with the lace still covering your entrance.
He pushed against it, moving between your clothed folds and marveling at the wetness seeping through the material. 
“I’m not begging.” You managed to hiss out a response, turning your head to peer at him, your cheek nearly pressing against the wall. 
“Oh, so she’s always mouthy huh?” 
You watched the diabolical grin eat away at his face from the power trip of having you trapped under his weight.
You could talk-back all you wanted— be as bratty and uncooperative as possible, but it didn’t change the fact that he had you right where he wanted you. 
“Keep talkin’ baby, go on.” He innocently raised his brows at you, his voice taunting as the weight of his thumb danced between your legs.
“I Know you want this too. You act like you can’t stand me, but I see the way you look at me…” Your voice was quiet but strong as you held onto the last bit of composure you had left, using it to defy the man at your back.
You were trying your best not to lose your train of thought as you spoke. You wouldn’t give up the fight that easily, succumbing to his tempting words and lewd touches. You could tell Joel was used to getting his way and every muscle in your body ached to challenge him. 
“The way your eyes are glued to my ass every time I walk past you.” You glared over your shoulder as the words drifted off your lips in a gentle accusation. 
His dark chuckle filled the room as his eyes darted away from yours for a short second. Then his stare was back on you— more intense than before. The two of you watching each other, sitting in a pool of mutual revelation. 
You both knew it.
You knew since day one that there was a shared attraction, an unspoken sexual tension hidden behind rude words and unsavory exchanges.
What was happening now was just a detonation of built-up pressure that had been stewing for weeks; evident in the wetness at your core and the bulge in Joel’s jeans. 
“Anythin’ else you wanna say? Should probably get it all out before I have you all fucked-out on my cock.” His voice dropped to a low whisper as he hooked his thumb into your underwear, pulling the material to the side, not even bothering to take them off completely. 
A soft gasp slid from your lips at the cool air meeting your newly exposed center, the slick pooling at your entrance only adding to the airy sensation. 
“You’re so fucking arrogant.” 
The words barely left your lips when you felt his touch meet your core, his fingers spreading your arousal.
You had more to say to him, you wanted to tell him how annoying he was and how you had lost every ounce of decency by letting him talk to you this way, but the words were caught in your throat as he pushed two fingers into you. 
“Maybe I have good reason to be.” 
Your eyes were squeezed shut at the unexpected feeling of him filling you with his fingers, yet you could hear the smirk dripping in his voice.
“You ever think about that sweetheart?”
His words were impatient, the initial drive of his fingers into your entrance was rough, but now they slowly worked into you. His movements were careful— cautious even.
It was as if he wanted to take his time, watching your body and listening to the shaky breaths leave your lips.
His hand worked between your legs, searching for the exact technique that would send you spewing profanities and crumbling against the wall.  
He curled his fingertips at just the right spot, not too deep and not too forceful, just a gentle pulse that had an impulsive whimper pouring from your chest.
“Maybe I’m so arrogant because I know I’m good at what I do.” His words held a double meaning as he added a third finger to stroke your newfound sweet spot.
You almost yelped from the stretch, but you held it back as best you could, refusing to give him the gratification of your submission. 
The position he had you in; back arched and ass pushed out, made it almost embarrassingly easy for the addition of a third digit as he watched them to sink into you.
You couldn’t help but hum in approval as he stroked you repeatedly, rubbing against the inviting drawl of your walls. You tried not to lose yourself at his fingertips, knowing from the familiar coil of pleasure in your core that he could have you coming on his fingers at any given moment. 
“Thought you were gonna fuck me, huh?” Your voice was a string of moans as you tried your best to form a coherent sentence with his hand pushed between your bodies. 
As much as you didn’t want his movements to stop, you also didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making you finish when he’d barely even gotten his hands on you.
Knowing Joel, he would never let you live it down. He’d ride around on his metaphorical high horse and crown himself the king of female orgasms. So instead of letting him bring you to the precipice of release, you met him with a phrase of defiance. But your challenging words were really just a gateway to get what you wanted. You could put on a tough act, but at the end of the day Joel was right, you did want him to fuck you in way no one ever had— hungry and hard against the wall, right here in your client’s house.
In fact, the thought of it had taken over every fiber of your being. The anticipation of feeling him rail into you was clouding your judgement and coursing through your veins at an alarming speed. 
“Think you can take it?” His growl stuck in your ears as he pulled out of you. The lewd noises of his fingers plunging into the slick mess at your folds was quickly replaced by the sound of him fumbling with his belt buckle. 
“How d’you want it, huh baby? You the sentimental type? Want it nice and slow and deep? Or d’you just wanna be ruined? Want someone to be a little rough with ya?” He was asking, but you couldn’t help but note the rhetorical quality of his words as you heard the rustle of his jeans pushing down his thighs. 
“That’s sweet of you to give me choice, maybe you don’t like control as much as I thought- “
Your sarcastic remark was cut short at the abrupt stretch of Joel’s length slamming into you.
“Rough it is then.” His voice was a deep grunt echoing from behind you as he paused, giving you a split second to adjust before pulling back out and thrusting into you again. 
“Shit princess, didn’t think you’d be this fuckin’ tight.”
His voice swam with amusement and pleasure as he watched the way his dick fully disappeared into you with each thrust of his hips.
Hands pulled at your waist as you felt Joel drive deeper with every breathless groan floating off his lips. 
“Look at you, takin’ me like such a good girl.” The words weren’t sweet, instead they teased you, shooting out of his mouth with a mocking tenor. 
You couldn’t keep your body from reacting to his praise, albeit contemptuous, the words still held a deep truth about the situation unfolding against the wall of your shared employer’s closet. 
“Oh, you like that don’t ya? When I tell you what a good girl you are?” His voice was a broken growl of grunts and sighs as he fucked into you— vigorous and desperate.
His pace was unrelenting as he held onto your waist, pulling you back to meet him with every drive of his hips into yours. 
He let one of his hands travel up your body until he was reaching for your jaw, tilting your head up and back until your body was arched at a sinful angle.
“See, I knew you just needed a good fuck.” His groan was right in your ear now that he held your head close to his, the grip he had on your jaw was firm.
It was becoming impossible for you to keep quiet, the strength and depth of his thrusts were causing explicit moans to skate past yours lips.
The hand that Joel was using to hold your face was now maneuvering to your mouth in an effort to muffle the obscene sounds rolling off your tongue. Two of his fingers pushed at your lips, hooking into your mouth. 
“Knew that little attitude a’yours was all for show.”
You closed your lips around his digits as he railed into you, a guttural moan sliding up your throat and humming onto his fingers. 
“Fuck.” His fowl groan was a direct result of your soft mouth sucking around his fingers, mimicking the way you had his cock encased between your legs.
You invited his touch onto your tongue, swirling around his thick digits and sucking him in deeper, earning a prolonged sigh from Joel as he fucked into you even harder.
Each stroke of his cock had your body pressing further into the wall— his pace was mean and unyielding, like he had something to prove. 
With the hand not in your mouth, Joel reached around your body, his fingertips finding your clit and rubbing quick careless circles over the bundle of nerves.
Your body faltered under his touch, your knees slightly buckling, and if it weren’t for the weight of his body trapping you against the wall, you’d be a puddle on the floor. 
He slowed his pace slightly, taking his time to find that spot along your walls again. The one that he discovered just minutes ago when he was three fingers deep in your dripping cunt. 
Whines of approval vibrated against the pads of his fingertips still pressing down on your tongue. His hips began rocking into you at just the right angle— slow and deliberate, with the goal of feeling you coming undone on his cock. 
“That it baby? Right there?” Again, his words were a sadistic tease, but his voice gave way to pitiful throaty whines.
You couldn’t speak, couldn’t even think with the way he was working you toward your release.
Everything felt so overwhelming, his unrelenting thrusts hitting you in the perfect place, his touch on your clit, rough and impatient and his fingers filling your mouth— all of it creating the perfect storm of inconceivable pleasure. 
A jolt of relief surged through your body as the pressure inside you snapped. You let yourself fall further into the wall as Joel’s name slipped from your mouth in a chant.
Hearing his name on your lips in such a distant and dazed voice, had Joel’s cock pulsing. Your walls were clenching from your climax, sucking him in deeper and he couldn’t handle the abundance of warmth enveloping him. 
Both of his hands came down to your hips, fingers digging into your skin as held tight.
His thrusts were merciless as he used you to reach his peak, chasing the familiar buildup of tension in his core as he drove into you at a startling pace. 
Then he pulled out abruptly. 
One hand on his cock, stroking just twice before spilling onto the skin of your lower back, the other pushing your dress further up your body to keep it from becoming a jizz painted mess. 
Silence filled the room.
Neither of you spoke as your hands pushed against the wall underneath your palms. You stayed pressed there, Joel’s body still behind you evident in the ragged breaths leaving his chest. 
Still no words were exchanged as you felt Joel take a step back, the warmth of his presence fading just slightly.
You dared to break your pleasure induced trance to look over your shoulder, only find him pulling his jeans back up his body and tightening his belt without even sparing you a glance.
You began to move until you were reminded of the thick warm mess resting on your back, keeping you from pulling your dress down.
Before you could do anything, Joel was back behind you, hooking his fingers into the waist band of your panties and tugging them down your legs. He stopped at your ankles to tap against your skin, prompting you to step out of them.
Once the lacy material was fully in his grasp, he brought them up to your lower back, using them to gather his spend. He cleaned his mess with the lacy material then pulled your dress back down to cover your lower half. A sticky residue was left on your backside as a plaguing reminder of what had just transpired between you. 
You turned to face him, watching as he crumpled up your ruined underwear and shoved it into his back pocket with a smirk on his face. 
“How about that drink? Could meet you tomorrow night, should be done here around five.” He was back across the room in an instant, gathering tools and not bothering to look in your direction.
His invitation was genuine, but his words lacked interest. 
“I’ll get these back to you then.” His hand came to rest on his back pocket, fingers tapping against the denim holding your used panties.
A self-righteous smile sat on his face as he shot you a look of pure deviance before his eyes were back on his hands as they worked to gather his materials. 
“Yeah, okay.” Your voice came out more flustered than you intended as you smoothed out your dress over your thighs.
Joel was heading for the closet door, tool bag clutched in his hand as he gave you one last gaze of victory.
“It’s a date.” The words were a grumble from his lips, the same ones that were busy parading a smug smile. 
Then he left you standing alone in the small room, your mind racing around itself and your legs still trembling.
A subtle grin rested on your face as you stared down at the floor, trying to find some sort of equilibrium before even attempting to move.
The giant walk-in closet still encasing a lingering heat of reckless choices as you prepared to go on with your day— business as usual.
my masterlist
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seren-dipitous-art · 8 months ago
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I’ve been obsessed with the Olympics for the past week, and obsessed with Dick Grayson for longer, so here’s the crossover we all deserve.
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Plus, gorgeous sweaty acrobat in gymnastics poses? Only positives.
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noodles-and-tea · 12 days ago
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I LOVE WHEN THEY
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mad-serotonin · 1 year ago
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Take It Easy☀️
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dide · 1 day ago
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Just scrolling through Roploem’s posts. And this is AMAZING OMG
This one specifically.
Hilarious, reading this over and over again
Omggggg
WAIT IF YOU READ THIS PLEASE WRITE OTHER THINGS TOO
Like for other fandoms!! That would be so cool!!!
Accidentally became a god SY au:
Shen yuan dies and gets transported to a weird in between of worlds. Obviously he is panicked thinking that a fu€king meat bun killed him, when the system appears and explains he is going to become SQQ.
SY starts to screech and fight against the system, because he does NOT want to become a human stick!!! So the system finally decides that it’s going to fw SY in a different way…
So SY gets to customize his own character!! But the system won’t let him choose normal colored hair… whatever!! what awesome and cool character doesn’t have some unique colored hair! So he chooses white, because it can go with any clothes AND it looks cool and elegant. He just sets his other settings to random (the system removes the max on his stats…)
So a white haired SY gets transported to a random forest in PIDW… and when he tries to approach any village, they panic thinking he is a demon… he isn’t!! So to prove he isn’t a demon he uses his strangely large amount of Qi to heal injuries and other such things…
Suddenly the towns folk have done a 180 and are treating him so well!! He is being given food, a place to stay, and any trashy novel he wants!!
Little does he know they all basically worship him and the ground he walks on…
I’m not sure where in the time line this would be, or what ship I should do… but honestly it’s kinda open.
(I have more of an urge to make this one than the other ones I have made… what do y’all think I should do for the timeline and ship?)
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communist-hatsunemiku · 9 months ago
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truffleduster
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the-phantom-peach · 10 months ago
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“ayyy itz da wind waykah!” 💨🌊
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thesvnandthemooon · 2 days ago
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the way my jaw KEPT DROPPING
The Maid - Part 4
Socialite!Wanda Maximoff x Beefy!Rich!Reader*
Maid!Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Rich!Reader*
18+ only, read at your own risk
Word count: 2245
Summary: You are married to a wealthy socialite, but your newly hired housemaid doesn’t approve of the marriage.
AN: Thank you for the continued support! You all make my day with your comments and theories. :)
Read part 3 here.
*Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.
You sit at the kitchen table nervously, drumming your fingers on the wood. You knew Wanda would be home late–she never had the respect to give you a proper timeline for her outings. The clock tells you that it’s a little past midnight, and sleepiness burns in the corners of your eyes, but you told yourself you aren’t going to bed until this is all over. 
You run the lines over in your head. What you want to say to her exactly, what you’ll counter with if she reacts well or poorly. You’ve waited long enough to have this conversation, perhaps too long, but Natasha finally gave you the push you needed.
“Do you still love her?” Natasha asks softly after you tell her the whole story of your wife’s philandering. 
You don’t answer. Deep down, you know your love for her was being tested to its breaking point, and you weren’t so sure it would survive after this. “I’ll talk to her tonight, when she comes home,” you say. “You should probably go home. I can’t imagine it’ll be a pretty conversation.”
“I’ll stay if you want me to,” Natasha insists. “You shouldn’t be alone to do something like that.” Your heart melts, and for a moment you want to get up and kiss her. Not that you wanted to pull a Wanda, but you couldn’t ignore how beautiful and generous your maid was. She was excellent at her job; never complained and went above and beyond, even when your wife was being a total bitch. She treated you with the respect and kindness you deserved. She was everything you wanted in a partner and more. 
But you were stuck with Wanda. For now, at least.
“Are you sure? Wanda might be home late and I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay just for me,” you say. 
“It’s fine. She won’t even know I’m here. I can leave out the back door,” Natasha says.
“Thank you, Natasha.” Her support means more to you than you’re allowed to express. 
“You’re welcome.”
Now, with Natasha hiding in the kitchen, the two of you wait.
***********************************************************************
You accidentally doze off and wake with a start when you hear the garage door open. For a moment, you don’t even remember where you are or why.
“Natasha? Are you still here?” you whisper as loud as you dare.
“Yes.” Her head pokes out from around the corner of the kitchen.
Relief fills you. You were worried she would ditch you after all, not that you would’ve blamed her in the slightest. “Wanda’s home,” you tell her, and she nods and disappears again. At least you didn’t have to face your wife entirely alone.
You sit rigidly still on the couch until your wife walks in, almost passing you at first. 
“You’re back,” you say, and she jumps, reaching for the light switch and revealing you on the couch.
“I said I’d be back tonight,” she says.
“Who were you out with?”
“My girlfriends.”
“No.” You stand up and walk over to her. You are a great deal taller than her and for once she looks like she feels her size around you. “Who did you go out with tonight?”
Wanda doesn’t make eye contact with you. “You know…Carol, Darcy–”
“Are you fucking them too?”
“Excuse me?” Wanda draws back from you until she bumps into the bookshelf.
“You heard me,” you say through clenched teeth. “Were you fucking them too?”
“No. Why the hell would you think that?”
“Because I know you spend all your free time fucking anything that moves behind my back.”
The silence in the air is electric. Your heart is thundering in your chest so hard you wonder if Natasha can hear it. Wanda’s eyes widen. 
“I...I’ve never done that,” she says, but her falter shows her lie. “How dare you suggest–”
You take your phone out and show Wanda the screen. She squints at it in confusion at first, then a shadow of horror passes over her face when she realizes it’s the camera view from the little ceramic turtle you planted in the china cabinet, now showing the two of you standing there.
“You hid a camera in my own home–” Wanda starts.
“I hid a shit ton of cameras in our home,” you say. 
“So this is why your business is failing,” she cackles, and the switch in topic throws you for a loop. “You spend all day watching and stalking me in our home when you’re supposed to be working. No wonder you don’t bring home any money. Not only are you a shitty spouse, you’re also a shitty worker.”
Anger explodes inside of you, and for a moment your control slips. You lunge for Wanda, not even sure what you’ll do once you grab her, but she slams her palms to your chest and sends you staggering back. She turns and yanks a book off the shelf, removing a revolver from the pages and pointing it towards you with trembling hands.
“Don’t get any closer to me, you fucking creep!” she yells.
Your anger dissolves into concern. “Put the gun down, Wanda. Please. Let’s just talk about this like adults–”
“Oh, now you want to talk like adults?” Wanda laughs manically. “Where was this before you started illegally recording me in my own home?”
“You’re fucking cheating on me!” you scream, losing your composure again. “I moved us into this big house, in this nice neighborhood, and you’re just so fucking ungrateful for any of it!”
“I didn’t want any of it to begin with!” Wanda returns.
“Why not? Because you had to leave behind your fuck buddies in our old neighborhood?”
“You’re the exact same person here as you were over there. A self-righteous piece of shit,” she seethes.
“If you’re so sick of me, why don’t you divorce me?” you ask. “Oh wait.” You snap your fingers. “I bet no one would want to sleep with a washed-up divorcee. Because where’s the fun in that?”
Wanda turns the gun around and points it at her temple. “I’ll kill myself if you divorce me,” she says, then shifts the gun to point towards her chest, “But I’ll make it look like you did it.”
The blood in your veins chills at the thought. “Give me the gun, Wanda.”
“Take it from me,” she goads.
While you have very little confidence in your disarming tactics, you do know you’re stronger and faster than Wanda. You also don’t fully believe that she’ll kill herself right here, so that gives you an advantage of time. 
Before a plan even forms in your head, you reach out with your arm and slap Wanda’s hand away from her head. She startles and drops the gun; you expect her to dive after it but instead she whirls around and punches you in the face. Despite all of her faults, she’s never outright hit you before, and your vision swims as your head whiplashes against the bookshelf. 
“You crazy motherfucker,” Wanda screeches, punching you again and you fall to the floor, instinctively curling into a ball to protect yourself. Her foot slams into your ribs and for a second, you can’t believe you’re getting the beating of a lifetime from your own wife.
Meanwhile, Natasha is in utter shock at the events unfolding in front of her. She feels like she’s overstepping some serious boundaries, but she can’t leave you now, especially with Wanda having the upper hand. 
“Wanda, stop!” she hears you gasp as Wanda grabs hold of Crime and Punishment uses it like a weapon, raising it behind her head and smashing it against your body over and over. Natasha can’t bear to stand there anymore. She has to protect you from your insane, deranged wife.
Natasha crosses the living room in four leaping strides and picks up the revolver. Wanda looks shocked more by her presence than the fact that she’s now staring down the barrel of her own gun. 
“What the fuck are you still doing here?” Wanda says.
“Get away from Y/N,” Natasha says, holding the gun in both hands. The weight feels disconcertingly familiar, and despite her nerves, she isn’t shaking.
“Are you fucking her?” Wanda suddenly turns to you. “You’ve got some nerve watching me get it on with the neighbors when you’ve been fucking our maid–”
“Shut up!” Natasha yells. “I’m not doing anything with Y/N!” she says, although she wishes that wasn’t the truth.
“I don’t believe that.” Wanda marches over to Natasha, leaving you unraveling on the floor. Blood drips from your nose and mouth, and Natasha can see the purpling bruise on your cheek. “Vision told me Y/N took you to see Wicked on my anniversary–”
“Because you couldn’t be bothered to remember and go yourself!” Natasha says.
Wanda is too enraged to quiet. “How dare you enter my house, take advantage of my kindness, and take my partner to bed–”
“Back off!” Natasha says, raising the gun until it’s almost level with Wanda’s eyes. “Not everyone is a cheating whore like you.”
Both Wanda and Natasha seem shocked by her choice of words. Natasha’s arms shake as they drop a few inches. She won’t hold back anymore–but neither will Wanda.
“You little bitch.” Wanda draws her arm back. Natasha flinches and squeezes the trigger.
BANG.
The gunshot is much, much louder in an enclosed space, and Natasha’s ears ring so hard they hurt. Wanda stands before her, her jaw dropped in shock. A stain of blood grows on her shirt, centered over her bellybutton. 
“Oh my God. Wanda, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Natasha gasps, unable to wrap her head around her own actions. 
“You…You shot me,” Wanda says, grabbing her stomach as she falls. Natasha tries to catch her but misses; you appear behind Wanda and lower her slowly to the floor. “How is that possible?” She looks up at you and your face is pale with shock. “You fucking shot me!”
“Nat,” you whisper. “Nat, give me the gun.”
“I’m…I’m so sorry,” Natasha cries, handing you the weapon and backing away from the two of you. “I thought she was going to hit me and–”
“It’s okay.” You stand up, wobbling a little, and rush to her side. “Go home Nat, okay? Go through the back door and jump the fences if you have to. And if anyone asks where you were tonight, you weren’t here.”
“No, no.” Natasha fights the tears threatening to spill out. “That’s wrong. I did this, I want to take responsibility for it–”
“No,” you say. “With your background, you’ll be locked in prison the rest of your life, if you don’t get deported first.”
“M-My background?” Natasha stammers. “How do you know about–”
You shake your head, indicating now is not the time to have this discussion. “For the record, it never made me trust you any less.”
“Are you sure?” 
“Yes.” You reach out and grab her hand. It calms Natasha instantly. “Go now. Let me handle this. I’ll come find you when this is all over.”
“I’m so sorry,” Natasha sobs.
“It wasn’t your fault. Now get out of here, please!”
Natasha doesn’t wait to hear you instruct her again. She looks at you, her savior, one last time, completely ignoring Wanda laying on the floor, before dashing off towards the garage. It’s pitch-black, but she doesn’t dare turn on a light, and fumbles for the back door. Outside, the air is nippy and her breath clouds in front of her face. She takes a deep breath to orient herself, then runs headfirst towards the neighbor’s fence, hauling herself over it as quietly as she can, crossing their yard, and leaping over the next fence. 
She has to jump over two more yards before she gets to the street, racing to her Nissan and peeling away down the street. In the safety of her car, the realization crashes over her and she can’t stop the waterworks. 
She can’t believe she shot your wife. She can’t believe you knew her background. Clint had told her no one would find out what she had done in Russia after she assumed a new identity, but you had found out somehow. And yet, you were still okay hiring her even after you knew she had killed her former boss. 
The sounds of sirens pierce her thoughts and Natasha seizes up. A black-and-white police car races by. Either you had called them, or a neighbor had heard the shouting and gunshot. Natasha prays her presence had gone undetected. She had never been more thankful Wanda forced her to park down the street, where her car was less likely to be seen. 
She wonders if she’ll ever get to see you again.
***********************************************************************
After Natasha leaves, you take a moment to absorb your surroundings. Wanda is gurgling and crying on the floor, pressing her palms against her stomach, blood spilling through her fingers and on the tiles Natasha had mopped earlier that day.
Your grip tightens on the gun as you move to stand over Wanda, where she can fully see you. Your body throbs where she hit you, and you know you don’t look much better than her. Blood bubbles out of her mouth. She can’t speak anymore, but her eyes are fiery and pleading.
You lift the gun, which feels like a thousand pounds in your hand.
“Someone should’ve done this a long time ago.”
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AN: Welp, that escalated quickly. Will Wanda live? Should she?? 👀
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blahaj-blastin · 11 months ago
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Few DnD scenes will ever be funnier for me to imagine than Riz Gukgak fully fucking submerging himself in lava and Kipperlilly revealing herself just out of pure and utter shock
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ky-landfill · 4 months ago
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livelovecaliforniadreams · 1 year ago
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dailydccomics · 23 days ago
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International Women's Day Card variant covers by Jenny Frison
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