#someone get this man some uppies

[purpleminte]

A guy who is little daily.

[luna-jaden-shadow]

OUAW Characters Get Jealous

Request - Good to see someone new that writes for OUAW, finally I can give poor @oo-delallymrcrow a break lol. Would you mind writing about how do the boys act when they jealous? Thank you very much :3

. . . Can we tell who my favourite character is chat? . . .

Kremy Lecroux

- Kremy gets jealous out of fear of a chance that you’ll find someone better than him 

- It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he doesn’t trust other people

- Kremy’s been watching some person talk to you from across the tavern for the last 20 minutes, completely ignoring whatever Gideon was talking about

- His grip on the glass in his hand is tight (if his knuckles could turn white they would) he wants nothing more than to Eldrich blast that person straight through the 9 hells

- If you look uncomfortable or nervously look his way, he’s crossing the room in quick long steps

Kremy sets a hand on the person’s shoulder. “You best be careful who you talk to, friend. We wouldn’t want something to happen to you now, would we?” 

“Are you threatening me?”

“That depends.” Kremy leans closer to him, shadows shifting around him as he does. If he could, ominous jazz music would start playing. “Do you feel threatened?” Safe to say they won’t be bothering you again and Kremy then refuses to leave your side for the rest of your time there, making sure no one else decides to approach you.

Gideon Coal

- Gideon doesn’t get jealous often he’s confident that he’s got you stuck with him he just can’t stand other people touching you when he’s right there 

- Gideon had barely left you alone when someone approached, clearly flirting with you while you were just waiting for the genasi to return with new drinks

- He comes back with your new drink and finds the person placing a hand on your arm, trying to convince you that they could show you a good time when Gideon’s figure looms behind him

- He’s glaring holes into the back of the person’s head the whole time

 “If you want to keep your bones inside your body I suggest you get your hand off of them.” Gideon roughly grips the man’s shoulder. The person does let you go but whips around to start yelling till they sees Gideon’s larger frame now in front of them. “Walk away.” Gideon holds their stare.  When the person’s gone Gideon’s instantly looking at you, “That person comes back I’m not gonna warn him imma just hit ‘em.”

You smile as he holds out your drink to you, sitting beside you with an arm around your shoulders, every once and a while you find him glaring at the person from your seats.

Morning Frost

- Frost thinks he’s beyond jealousy until he meets you and sees how other people act around you 

- Frost simply crushes their mind-kidding kidding but he does consider it

- Won’t even acknowledge the person at first as he approaches you, wrapping his arms around you

- He’ll stare the person down while  he nuzzles into your neck 

The person quickly moves on to the next person they can flirt with while Frost nips at your neck. “Jealous Frost?” You tease and he just huffs, bumping his head against yours. 

“It’s remarkable that they thought they had a chance of taking you from me.” Frost shakes his head. “I wanted to endeavor to crush his mind but Kremy said we’re lying low.”  

“Well than thank you for not crushing their mind.”

Gricko Grimgrin

- Gricko’s jealousy is very clear when he sees people flirting with you

- Will pull a classic and kick them in the shins of tie their laces together while they’re focused on you

- Gricko doesn’t address the person after that, instead literally asking for uppies just so he can kiss you and make a point

“I missed you.” He mumbles, kissing you as he holds your face with both hands. The person who you had previously been chatting with awkwardly moves away from you seeing your Goblin other half. “Are they gone?” He smiles, eyes roaming around your face, taking you in. 

“Very gone.” You reply, meeting his eyes with a small smile. “Jealous much?” Gricko shakes his head. 

“Had to make sure that scamp knew you were with me.” 

Torbek

- Torbek stays quiet about being jealous but you know enough about him to be able to tell 

- Torbek will sit quietly, fidgeting with his hands as he watches someone flirt with you

- You don’t hesitate to ditch the person after spotting the sad bugbear

“Torbek Knows he's Just a bugbear. And you are very pretty. But please don't leave torbek for them.” Torbek doesn't look at you as he talks.

You reach out and set your hand on his head in the hopes of calming him down. “I'm not going anywhere Torbek. You're stuck with me,” you assure him gaining a smile from the bugbear.

[soarrenbluejay]

Can’t remember where I’ve seen the idea first but I’ve had this idea of Regular Clowns taking offense to joker’s bullshit for a while now and exacting Vengeance. The man doesn’t even has an egg! His ass never been to clown school! He’s a disgrace to them all!

So four buddies leaving the traveling circus business decide as people who have loved every second of this and are Deeply Insulted by this wanker to Do Something About It.

Three of them are showmen- an acrobat, a juggler, a fire fanatic, the works.

The last one, Jerry, is a stage hand. He is their most powerful member- not only does he have the superpower of self care, but he’s a meta! Minor telekinesis is actually really useful when shuttling stuff around in a stage in a hurry! (And that whole thing of our idea of ninjas coming from stage hands in all black being ‘invisible’ yeah. Cryptid vibes, except it’s just Jerry)

So. A clown car pulls up in Gotham, in the middle of a Joker attack, presumably despite ever Gothamite on the road who saw it making their best effort to take one for the team and mow them down. This is a no good awful sign for Gotham.

But it gets better.

Because out does not step a bunch of goon reinforcements in masks, or some jokerified poor soul, but instead someone in one of those historical jester costumes, bells and dramatic ass sleeves and all. Also, they’re bright orange. It is slightly eye searing. In one hand is the end to a long line of tied together handkerchiefs in clashing neon colors which appears to be infinite bc it just keeps coming. In the other is a comedically oversized hammer with a squeaky sound effect installed but no spring to soften the blow- it in fact has spikes with little Mayfair banners hanging off.

They immediately attempt to strangle/bash Joker to death with a winning smile firmly in place, and actually survive the attempt of which by apparent virtue of being made of rubber or something. And out slides our fire master, in all teal for contrast, who promptly throws smoke bombs at the crowd of goons around and starts all but boa staffing them down with his fire wand, paired with a dramatic speech about how Joker is in insult to the idea of circus and also the most unfunny bitch to ever walk the earth.

Lastly, the juggler. They have come armed. With glitter and hackysacks. A dramatic beatdown ensues, with much shrieking and yelling on all sides. A gif is made of Joker being bonked right through a concrete wall with a move right out of a video game. Several goons get concussions a la bowling pins. It’s all being live streamed by someone through their apartment window and is rapidly going viral. It’s a good time mostly because this attempt at vengeance against the Clown Bitch Gotham did not immediately involve some one getting very anticlimacticly shot.

No really takes note of the guy in all black and ski mask, calmly standing in the middle of the flaming chaos. He occasionally holds out a new set of props for the juggler, an oversized great sword for our acrobat jester, some nitroglycerin for blowy uppy efforts, the works. Until he starts calmly putting together a three story set of scaffolding for the gang to use for the purpose of beating the crime king’s skull in in even more ridiculous ways and also so jester can showcase their absolute lack of a spine.

And Jerry goes back to standing in the middle of this chaos, apparently unaffected by Literally Everything going on. His friends are fucking crazy, he’s used to it.

Meanwhile, Ghost King Danny gets a new urgent appeal at his ghostly royal desk- someone is attempting to enact vengeance against the joker and move approximately 46363883 souls along doing it, except it’s not the Red Hood this time! It’s Some Random Guys that a minor mischief god is now attempting to fast track layering with blessings! Said minor god is officially appealing for the Ghost Monarch’s support. Danny is conflicted- on one hand, he Fucking Hates Clowns. And has a major hero worship thing going on for Red Hood, a fellow supernatural hero (in the dead’s eyes) much his senior. However, the idea of a bunch of nobody’s beating the joker to death at the same time as declaring how shit of a clown he is IS pretty hilarious.

He gives it the stamp of Yes, provided others seeking vengeance (aka red hood, the thousands of joker victims in Gotham, anyone who wants to go spectacular viral) can still intervene to catch some own hands, a minor merriment/will of the people god does a jig on the spot, and back with the Justice Circus Brigade, ghouls and Spectors alike start popping up to join in on the fun! Which our beloved ren faire rejects are actually pretty okay with- big enough circus events in the DC universe have a bad habit of becoming possessed/very obviously haunted/Ooky Spooky like, every few months. And these guys look much friendlier than whatever the hell has been in the house of mirrors these last few months!

Red Hood isn’t sure how he’s suddenly in the middle of upper Gotham when he’s was decidedly Nowhere Near three seconds ago, but that’s a problem for later when the Bitch Ass Clown Extraordinaire is Right There!! So he tables it to be very paranoid about later, shrugs, and starts shooting. Jester starts shouting out points for accuracy/comedy, Jerry calmly asks if he wants some of their backup silver bullets just in case The Target really is an unholy being of some sort. (They have taken Precautions. For Everythinf. Or at least Jerry did.) Jason can’t say no to free extra ammunition and also That’s Hilarious, man he has to hire these guys!

Then fire juggler molotov’s the joker, and he decides these idiots are ABSOLUTELY worth saving from the big bad bat. Fuck it, this morons are the BEST.

[batsythoughts]

I know nobody probably wants this, but I had this spiral of thoughts while at work today and had to share. What if the Joker had a child that no one had known about?

Not like a teenager that had been under his care for years and mentally crazy like the Joker, but like a knee-high, wide eyed, 'have uppies?' toddler.

Like, imagine that Batman had busted a part of Joker's operations and was talking with the officers

He realized it was only a couple hours until sunrise and had to go and get some rest for a big meeting he had with his lawyers

The last thing he said was to round up every person in the building and put them all in a secure cell in the Asylum

Immediately after Batman leaves, one of the officers finds this small child in a room with multiple screens playing different escapades that the Joker had performed over the years

Poor kid was strapped to a chair and sobbing when the officer frantically undid the ropes and got the kid out of that room

Everyone was confused about what they should potentially do with this kid who looked like a miniature clown

Without many options, the kid gets sent to the Asylum with all the Joker's henchmen who are equally as confused about who the hell this kid was

The Warden is fucking livid because what the FUCK is a kid doing here, but it was the safest place to be while everyone tried to figure out if the child was stable to be around the nonvillainous population

Most of the detainees are confused, but none of them speak out of turn to them

In fact, the kid becomes the reason most of them behave to a degree

It is still a prison after all with rules and there were no exceptions even with a child

Some of the inmates would get into small altercations during meal times to keep the guards distracted while the cooks would sneak small bits of food to other inmates so they could give the kid a snack later in the day

Sure it could cost them their job, but what kind of person would let a child go hungry throughout the day?

Anyways, a couple weeks go by and most crime had gone down during the night. No attempted escapes or extravagant overtakings of any kind from almost any villain

Bruce and the boys are very confused by the sudden change, but silently welcome the relaxed pace that is happening

Alfred was taking the day to get groceries for the Manor with Jason being dragged along for some 'social interaction'

Mostly so Alfred had someone else to push the shopping cart and Tim and Damian refused to go to the store, but that's besides the point

Alfred was looking between two different brownie mixes when two women walk by

They talked about how the guards are bordering on taking their job too serious with the one inmate they had

Alfred began to tune them out as he began to put one of the mixes in the cart when he suddenly froze in place

"I mean, the kid's been through enough already. How many 4-year-olds do you know that have semipermanent white paint on their whole body with dyed purple hair?"

Alfred's hand remained suspended in air as the women slowly walked past them. His mind flashed back to a few years ago when he remembered Bruce telling him about Harley suddenly stopped coming to any scheme the Joker had for over half a year. And then she came back slightly more manic than she was previously for a few month after

Jason, who had been spaced out, glanced at Alfred and thought the older man was having a stroke. He had never seen the butler so still in all the time that they had known one another. Jason swears he can't even see him breath for a good 12 seconds

Alfred quickly puts the baking mix on the shelf, not even looking to make sure it was in the right spot. Jason felt his blood run cold at that sight alone as the bulter walked off and grabbed Jason's collar

The cart partially full of groceries was forgotten as Alfred went to the children's section and picked up a box with a toddler's car seat in it. Went to the register and paying before going to the car and expertly putting car seat in the middle backseat

Jason felt extremely confused as he watched the whole scene before he hesitantly decided to ask, "What do we need a carseat for? We don't have a kid that needs one."

Alfred broke down the empty box and put it in the trunk before going to open the passenger door for Jason. Walking over to the driver's side and calmly getting in. "Not yet."

Cue Jason terrified for his life as Alfred speeds through the streets because DEAR GOD THE SPEED LIMIT IS 55 NOT 82!

Jason pulls out his phone to record the whole thing before it was over because no one would believe this if he didn'thave proof. Barely registering that he had accidentally started a live stream on one of the Wayne Enterprise's accounts Tim had connected him to at some point

Alfred only slams on the breaks when he gets to the gates of Arkham Asylum. Glaring down the guard who tries to yell at him before coldly stating, "I'm here for the child."

The guard begins protesting that it's a restricted area, but Alfred stared him down with a glare that Jason had only seen a handful of times in his life when one of the boys had fucked up bad

The guard keeps telling them to turn around and Alfred reached under the dash and when the FUCK did he hide a GUN under there?!

"The child. Now." The guard opened the gate and Alfred pulled in before putting the gun away and shutting the car off

Jason considers staying in the car as Alfred gets out and begins marching to the door. But God, he didn't want to explain to Bruce that he didn't even fully know why Alfred conned his way into a high security prison

The two of them walk through the corridors to an unknown destination. Jason looking both confused and terrified while flipping the camera between him and Alfred until they make it to the cafeteria

All the inmates look over at the two of them as they walk in, Alfred looking over the crowd before spotting the spot of purple in the sea of orange jumpsuits

He walks with over to Poison Ivy who was carrying the little one around before holding out his hands. Ivy looks at him for a moment before giving a small nod in understanding and letting him take the child

"Take good care of them or I will come for you, old man." Ivy warns him before giving a small wave to the child. "Have a good time sweetie."

"Bye bye, Aunt Ivy." Alfred began to walk back to Jason. Glaring softly as the guards try to block his path

Half of them are on the ground in just a few seconds as most of the inmates start a fight with the guards. Each of them waving bye as Alfred walks back to Jason and to the car

By looks alone, Jason could tell exactly who's kid this was. Who wouldn't be able to when they looked just like a fucking child circus star

Jason stares in confusion as Alred gently puts the child in the car seat and buckles them in. Patting their head before telling Jason to get in the back

He's too scared to argue so he gets in behind the passenger seat as Alfred opens the door to get in but stops when the Warden comes marching over

Leaving the door open, Alfred calmly walks over the the man while getting yelled at that he can't just take a prisoner simply because he wants to

Jason flips the camera to show Alfred calmly taking in the yells of the Warden

The moment he tried to walk past the butler to get to the car, Alfred backhanded him so hard the Warden fell to the ground

Jason stared in shock as Alfred got in the car and began driving back towards the City

Jason looks at the child who stares back at him with the same intensity until they looked out the window and pointing. "Where going?"

"To get you some food and new clothes." Alfred speaks plainly as he got to a drive thru. Quickly ordering a kids meal and handing it back the moment it was ready.

Jason watched as the child began eating the moment the food was in their lap. Occasionally offering him a piece which he always denied so the kid ate the much needed nutrients

Alfred drove into the parking lot of a children's clothing store before getting out and carrying the child in with Jason following close behind

Alfred takes the kid through the aisles to pick out some clothes that they would want to wear

Jason chuckling at the sight of Alfred holding different shirts up to see if they would fit because they look so happy to get to pick out one with a derpy looking cat on it

After getting some outfits, they all walk to the checkout. Waiting in line for a moment before Alfred feels a small tug on his arm

Looking down, he sees the child pointing at something. Moving his gaze, he takes notice of a small stand with small Batman plushies on it

Jason holds back a laugh as he points the camera over the stand before looking at the child again. "You like Batman, huh?"

The both got an eager nod as curious eyes look back at Alfred, waiting for an answer. With a small smile, he grabbed one and put it on the counter to be paid for first. The moment it was scanned, it was handed down to the excited hands of its new owner

The kid gives an excited giggle as they held the toy over their head that the cashier couldn't help but smile as well

After everything was paid for, Alfred makes sure the child gets changed out of the prison uniform. He made a mental note to have Bruce investigate on why they even were given one in the first place

Getting back in the car, Alfred drives them back to the grocery store to restart the whole shopping trip with the intention for getting extra snacks for the family's new guest

With the child buckled into the child carrier in the cart, Jason began pushing the cart while following Alfred around the store once again

He tried holding the phone in his own hand, but gave up as little hands keep curiously grabbing at it to see the screen with wide eyes

He smiles as he watches the child make multiple different faces to the camera, a small fit of laughter sounding each time they look back up at Jason

He can help but wonder how such a calm and happy child (calm and happy compared to the teens Bruce took in) could be the offspring of the very man who made his life a living hell

They make it halfway through the store a confused voice called out to the men

Dick had just been grabbing a few snack items for himself to have for his weekend off

The last thing he expected to see was Jason hauling around a child while Alfred finished putting multiple different juice boxes from the shelf into the cart

He walked over with a bag of chips and frozen mini pizzas as he wore a confused frown while looking between the three of them

Jason wore a smirk as he leaned on the handle. Alfred gave him a small nod before he pulled out the shopping list to see what else was needed

The child look at him with a small head tilt. Blinking up at him before holding up the plush toy with a cheerful "Batsy!"

Dick has to bite his lip to hold back is laughter from the single action alone, because how ironic is it that this kid adores Batman specifically

Alfred begins to walk towards the pharmacy area, intending to get some hygiene supplies for the child

Dick begin following behind Jason as they follow behind. Dick leaning over to Jason and asking what the hell is going and why is there now a toddler

Before Jason can say anything, an excited fit of laughter sounds as a small hand points to something once again

It's the electronic area in the store, so maybe it's a movie that's caught the attention of the child

Jason and Dick look over and both of them stare in shock as they see a wall of TVs playing a live feed from a local news station. A group of news anchors smiling as they stare at a screen that was also playing onscreen

What makes the two of them most nervous is the half of the screen that was currently showing a smiling face with purple hair staring down at the camera once again

Jason frantically grabs his phone as he begins to try and figure out how to turn the video off as Dick frantically raises his voice because how did you not realize you were live filming and WHY IS THERE 3.2 BILLION PEOPLE WATCHING THIS!?

Jason finally turns the video off and the TV cuts the video almost immediately which causes half the reporters to boo

Let both let out a breath of relief as the feed cuts out, watching the screen to see how bad the damage was

To their surprise, the headline on screen read 'Happy Little Addition to Wayne Family?'

They both look confused as they hear one reporter talks about how the internet is enamored by this unexpected new appearance in the Wayne family. Grinning as they mention the people who watched the video decided to nickname the kid 'Giggles' because of how happy they were during the whole thing

Jason cursed under his breath as he realized he might have screwed up big time with Bruce because of the whole thing. He didn't get much time to think about it before Alfred came back and pulled the cart along with him

Dick shook his head with a stupid grin on his face as he looked at Jason "Bruce is going to have stroke when he finds out about this."

Which Bruce practically did. He was in a budgeted meeting for the new quarter for the company, so he didn't even have a clue about the whole livestream

He had just got out of the meeting when his assistant came up with a concerned expression. Hastily trying to tell him some news that he really needs to hear

Bruce rubs his temples as he calmly asks if he could get five minutes of quiet in his office before hearing any form of news

His assistant followed after him while trying to explain that it was really important that he sees this now

With a deep sigh, Bruce reluctantly took the tablet into his hand to stare at whatever statistic was on the screen

What he wasn't expecting to see was small clips of video with Alfred holding up different clothes and Jason sitting in the backseat as a kid offers him a french fry

The only reaction from Bruce was a deep sighas he handed the tablet back before saying he was leaving for the day

He was thankful that no paparazzi had come around to get any pictures as he was getting to his car

Damian and Tim had been in the living room when they had gotten back to the manor. Neither of them knowing about the livestream because why would they watch it if Bruce would just sum it up to the others later that night

Alfred came in with the sleeping child in his arms and walked over to the couch Tim was on. Placing them down on his lap before walking away to get the groceries put away

Both of the younger boys are confused as they watch this little clown lean further into Tim while holding a small toy in a death cuddle

After a few minutes, Dick and Jason both come walking in as Jason takes the remote from beside Damian and flips through the channels

Dick sits near Tim as he opens the bag of chips he got as he stares at the child with a confused expression

Everyone looks at Jason for a moment before Tim asks, "Where did you get the kid from?"

Jason settles on a small comedy movie as he gives a small shrug "Alfred picked the kid up from the Asylum. He pulled a gun he keeps under the dash on one of the guards."

Tim and Dick let out small noises of disbelief at the explanation while Damian wondered which gun Jason was meaning. Alfred had both a pistol and revolver in the car that he was aware of

The child slowly began to stir with a small whine as they opened their eyes. Glancing around to see the new environment they had found themselves in

Moving to their own spot on the couch while looking at the movie with confused and sleepy eyes

Damian stared down the child for a while before actually making eye contact

The both stared at one another for a moment before Damian finally spoke up "So the clown had an accident that he didn't want."

"Damian!" Dick begins to scold the boy as he sat up straight. His voice falling short when a little head rests on his chest as frantic cries fill the room

It's hard for them to understand the what was being said between the sobs, but Dick was able to get out was 'don't wanna go back'

Dick holds the child close while trying his hardest to make the crying stop

Everyone feels uncomfortable as the child holds the Batman toy tighter while hiccuping out something along the lines of 'no fight Batsy'

Dear lord, did they underestimate how traumatized this toddler was compared to the rest of them at such a young age

Tim picks up his phone to try and find a video or something that might try and calm down the whole situation

That's when he gets a notification about some video about someone named Giggles?

He clicks on it, thinking it would be able to a couple laughs

The moment it loads, he looks between Jason and the kid because why are they in a video on his phone right now

Apparently, people had made highlight reels of the live stream and were sharing them online. The one Tim had clicked on was designed like one of those joke style ones with the funny little background music

He was about to change it when he saw the kid lift their head up with a confused look as they stare at the phone in his hand

Tim quickly connects his phone to the TV so the video was now on screen

Tears were quickly gone as small laughs soon began to fill the living room

All the boys felt relieved as they watched along with the video. Laughing softly at a few parts that showed up in the video

All of them let out shocked noises when they all watched Alfred bitch slap the Warden like he was a fly

None of them noticed when the door opened when Bruce got home. He immediately went to the kitchen where Alfred was making a few sandwiches

Walking up to the counter, Bruce looked at Alfred while asking him why the internet is showing he basically broke a convict out of prison

Cutting the crust off the sandwiches, Alfred countered that without an actual crime being committed by the person, it wasn't breaking a convict out

Bruce was utterly unimpressed as he crossed his arms saying they had to go back to the asylum where they were placed by the police

Alfred puts the last sandwich on the plate before looking directly into Bruce's eyes

"Alright."

Bruce furrowed his brow in confusion. There was no way it was going to be that easy for Alfred to agree

"You have to break the news of taking the child back though."

There it was

Bruce held his gaze as he raised a brow. He could easily find a way to explain the whole situation and why it would be best-

The tugging on his suit jacket pulled Bruce out of his thoughts. Looking down, he saw a curious face looking back at him

"I have juice, please?"

Bruce had not expected someone who barely even reached his knee to be the child in question. He was thinking maybe it was a teenager who was on the younger looking side of the spectrum

He really needed to talk to his assistant about showing him more detailed photos next time

Bruce looked back at Alfred, who simply raised a brow in response

Cue the whole Batfam on or around the couch while watching a movie. Bruce sending messages to his assistant to remind him to schedule different doctors appointments with little Giggles cuddled up on his lap

No one knew the kids actual name so they were just going with it because it made the kid happy to be called that

Dick was on the end as he quickly took a selfie with Bruce patting Giggles' head as they showed him the stuffed Batman while drinking from a juice box. The others in various lounging positions close by while eating the sandwiches Alfred provided

He put it on his story with the caption 'Bruce is putting this kid in his will right now, I swear'

The peaceful atmosphere was broken when Alfred came walking in with Commissioner Gordon walking in with a deep frown

He looked at Bruce as he explained that Giggles had to go back to the asylum due to the safety of the city

All the boys stared at him with looks of disinterest as they silently dared him to try

Gordon let out a sigh as he explained that Giggles was placed in the care of the city after the bust had happened, so technically the Wayne's would potentially face kidnapping charges if they didn't give the kid to him

Alfred cleared his throat as he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Gordan

He looked it over for a moment before taking in a deep breath while rubbing his temple

He handed the paper back as he mumbles that he doesn't get paid enough. He begins walking away with a small wave goodbye as he quickly leaves the manor

Bruce looks at Alfred as he asks what the paper was. It gets handed to him as a confused look crosses Bruce's face because when the hell did he sign adoption papers

Alfred explains he had messaged Bruce's lawyer earlier hand had it drawn up that afternoon. The signature was easy to get because he had a stamp for emergency reasons

Dick can't help himself as he takes another picture for the scene and posts it on the Bruce's personal account with the caption 'He adopted the kid and didn't even know it'

Dick and Jason laugh to one another as they whisper to themselves about how Giggles is going to loose it when they find out who Batman really was

[asmolguy]

Gonna make a list of characters that are so painfully little coded everything in my brain just goes “baby” whenever I watch them. Plus one caregiver. (And one real dude which feels kinda rude since he’s just like. A guy. Living his life. So you can ignore that one. But I wanted to point it out.)

Lloyd from Lego ninjago. Dude. Canon family trauma + canon forced to end his childhood early. Prime agere material. There are so many good fics of little Lloyd just littling. He’s tiny boi. So baby. So perfect.

Cole from Lego ninjago. He is. So caregiver built. I think it hurts to watch sometimes. So gentle so sweet. Get this man a child or a little or something to care for I swear. He just needs to parent. It’s in his blood and carved into his bones.

Branch from trolls. Ya’ll did you watch movie 3? The family trauma times two. The way he uses a pacifier to lock in. Someone was straight up weaving that into the fabric of his being as a character. He’s not little coded he’s little written. Plus in the show he has a little stuffie named Croco and I love that for him. There’s also some good agere Branch fics, but not enough. I need more. Pwease. He is so smol and so grumpy just everyone write him as the baby boi he deserves to be I beg.

Spider-Man but specifically for ultimate Spider-Man. Ultimate Spider-Mans Spider-Man is so stressed all of the time. He is just a teen. And he’s handling so many unruly teens. And in the later seasons when he’s handling the entirety of shield while being worried about nova. Give the boy a break and let someone take care of him. He’s both little and caregiver coded btw. I adore the fics where everyone calls him daddy longlegs because that is straight up what the last season is. Just him being a father to all these troubled ass powered teenagers while being so troubled himself. But then he’s also so little. He pouts and needs so much love and he’s scared all of the time and he is traumatized and then that one ep where that got turned into those weird chibi things the show tried to convince us were children I want to believe awakened something in him and he is now little sometimes.

Ian Hecox. Listen. I am aware that he is just a dude. Like a real guy. Who cannot be coded because he just exists. But I see. So much of myself in him. It kind of makes a part of my heart hurt that no one like every really seriously criticizes his more childish behavior (even for the bit on a YouTube video) because it makes me feel better about the small ways I slip in public or with my friends sometimes. There’s literally “everyone babying Ian hecox” comps online. His habit of saying scawed or newvous is unironically a blessing and curse since now it’s not weird if I do it but then sometimes I have to pause and be like “is this for the bit or am I slipping right now. Both? Neither?” That one tntl (#91) where they did the blind pairs (btw one of the funniest ones ever in my opinion absolute hall of famer, the fish one, burning the pool, m’lei, all incredible bits. It’s like. The video I show people to try to get them into Smosh.) and Ian puts on overalls and walks out with an Elmo and is like “I’m five” and then after the bit is over he stays in character and when he’s like “elmo…” and damien is like “yeah bud I made sure to miss him with the spit” and then Ian drags the toy through he spit and everyone in the room is just like “aww man” like everyone is truly just like Ian dude you got your stuffed animal wet. Also Anthony being able to fully pick Ian up and carry him multiple ways. If you watch the behind the scenes for the my best friend is dead video Anthony 1. Is pumped to pick Ian up. 2. Does a baby cradle with Ian more than successfully. 3. Says “I got you bud” when Ian gets nervous and Ian goes “ok” in this tiny little voice and instantly relaxes. 4. When Anthony puts Ian down Ian follows him making grabby hands and says “I want uppies”. More little Ian caregiver Anthony fics when. Except not really because again don’t really want to put any of this on real people just doing comedic bits that I happen to feel in my soul a bit too much.

And finally, Max thunderman. I mean. Just watch the show. The pouts. The frequent fake sobbing and sniffling. The fact that he needs a childhood back after Phoebe was put on a pedestal. Someone give me soft thundertwins fic where max is a little and Phoebe is a cargegiver please I need it. And I am. So bad at writing. I would love you forever and ever if you did.

[gummysunnybear]

*punches down a wall*

Regressor Sun content hours bc I am Unwell, can't regress rn myself bc of personal stuff, and need SOMETHING to take the edge off -

((Bonus, CetusxTaurusxSun au compliant))

• Sunny's the type to sit on the floor for hours on end with a sensory toy and video livestreams of aquariums. Bonus points if it's jellyfish, sharks or even the occasional NOAA videos of dives with Weird Little Critters.

• ironically lowkey likes spooky stuff and horror when he's small, so long as he's somewhere that the baby brain deems Safe. If he's wrapped in a serpentine tail or in a bill's lap, he can handle anything.

• he keeps his regression far from Dazzle and Jack out of personal preference and a desire to not expose them to the potential less-cookie-cutter-cutie aspects. Still sometimes slips juuuuuust a touch every now and again when they play.

• Perler Beads/Fusion Beads Are The Ultimate Stim. Also very much enjoys Pony Beads, charms, and buttons - also loves some good embroidery floss. ((He and Cetus have debated the logistics of getting a big inflatable pool to fill with beads, buttons, and Shiny Things specifically to lay in bc MMMM NICE))

• Filter? Who's that? He's a shy lil guy, but if he is asked, he'll blurt out questions, no hesitation. Absolutely partially hid behind Moon once bc Shy when Taurus first showed up pre-dating, but upon being addressed, went, "You're super big, can I have uppies?" ((He did, in fact, get uppies))

• Taurus: I have only had Sunrise for an hour, but should any manner of harm befall him, I would destroy this planet and then myself.

• Cetus: look I went through villain rehab, but if you touch my seastar, I'll make pressure damage look like a mild bruise. Give me a reason.

• Sun is the type to REALLY like cute fantasy cartoons on occasion, and he has definitely gotten Taurus and Cetus invested in the plot of Care Bears: Unlock the Magic. Was it intentional? Not at all. Will he profit off of it? Oh Absolutely 💯 👌

• Earth! Is!! His!!! Comfort!!!! Person!!!!! ((Moon is his preferred cg, but sometimes the memories are... too heavy. He needs someone Safe and Comfy, who has no History Of Harm. Enter: Sissy))

• Bloodmoon is alive bc I say so and they're redeemed bc There Was So Much Potential There AAAAA anyway, they also take Protecc Mode VERY seriously. You know how cats carry kittens? That. But they carry around Sunny. Occasionally they play keep away with the yellow bean

• Sun actually doesn't cry often, and when he does, it's silent - Moon always feels horrible about it, and it breaks everyone's hearts ((I project on he))

• *smacks table* Candyland Is A Dangerous Game /hj.

• Solar does his best, but he's so awkward, man. His love language is acts of service and gift giving. He 110% makes Sun cute customized regression gear, included a decorated cult of the lamb themed pacifier, sealed and reinforced specifically for animatronics.

[I'm fighting my demons to not draw regressor Sun content to throw at you send help-]

~ Call me 🐞/Bug ~

AHHHH I LOVE THIS SM BUG!!!!! THESE ARE SO CUTEEE AHHHH AWWWWWW!!!!!!!

[raileurta]

Uppies

Miguel is a tall guy, he always has been and always will be. As someone who is 7'9 it comes with a lot of problems: all his clothes must be custom made, constantly knocking his head against objects, and dealing with tall jokes.He can't even count the number of "how's the weather up there?" jokes he has experienced. It's not as fun as most people might think; but sometimes rarely it has....... its advantages.

--------------------------------------------------

Miguel heard the room to his office room open, but he didn't bother from looking up from his screens. He knew it was Miles coming in to talk about a solo mission he just completed. While most spider people just send the files to him electrically he makes his the spiderlings tell him about their missions in person. Miles swung up to his platform not bothering to want for it to go down. Now side by side the height difference becomes extremely evident. Miles barely reached his chest height. He gave him a quick greeting before talking about his mission. Miguel hummed in acknowledgement to Miles' words. It was a little out of behavior for him to do this, usually Miles likes to talk before getting down to business. The only time he doesn't do that is when he has something on his mind or trying to butter him up for a favor. After Miles was finished giving him his report Miguel asked what was going on.

"Morales is there anything you want to tell me?"

He seemed to be a little surprised at Miguel's question before an embarrassed look appeared on his face. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

"I- I don't know it's a little um..... can I"

Miles slowly raised his arms all the way out and did a grabbing motion? Miguel had seen a similar gesture with Mayday when she wanted to be held. But Miles always just asks for hugs or gave them to Miguel to show affection.

"Boss I think he wants you to give him uppies."

Miguel didn't jump at the sudden appearance of Lyla having long gotten used to her randomly appearing, Miles on the other hand flinched a little in surprise. Since he had only known her for three months.

"What are "uppies" Lyla?"

"Uppies: When a person wants to be picked up and lifted into the air by another person, specificlly under the arms. It's an old century world that I learned from your boy toy."

"Who now?" 🤨

"LYLA! DO NOT REFER TO PETER AS THAT!!!!"

"IT'S PETER?! Gross, I don't want to hear about your weird kinks."

"IT- MY RELATIONSHIP WITH PARKER IS STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL!"

Lyla seeing that her work was done blipped away to continue the reports she was working on.

"You don't have to deny it tío everyone knows your the Parkers' third." 🙄

Miguel didn't have any response to that and just let out an incoherent rambling of noise. His face was as bright as a tomato that was exceptionally ripe. Miguel crossed his arms over each other and tried to redirect- get back on topic.

"So you want "uppies" kid? Why? Can't you climb skyscrapers?"

"Well I can get to high places, but I can't be as tall as you!"

Miles emphasized Miguel's "tallness" by getting on his tippy toes and raising his hand as high as it can go. It was an extremely endearing sight to see. The kid looked at him with some of the most puppy dog eyes he has ever seen, he practically saw the anime glitter in them that Peni does. While Miguel had built quite a resistance to those types of eyes (especially working with Spider-Mans) in spite of that he felt his heart squeeze.

Oh shock this child is going to be the end of him.

"Okay."

"Okay? Really?!"

"Lyla has been pestering me to take a break anyways. This seems like a good excuse as any."

There was a big grin on Miles' face now. He was jumping up and down quickly like an overly energetic bunny. Quickly putting up his hands doing the grabbing motion again he was ready for the uppies now. With a fond sigh Miguel picked up Miles under his armpits. He hosted him into the air to the height of his eye level letting Miles experience the "tallness" he desired. Miles looked around taking in his new perspective of the things surrounding him. He let out a little ooh sound at what Miguel normally sees. Switching Miles around so he's facing away from him he dropped down from his platform. He walked around his office showing Miles various things that he might find interesting. They talked about the things Miguel was showing Miles. How certain machines worked, if he liked putting things up high to mess with people, etc. It was very nice. Miguel hasn't had such a nice break in a while. A beeping sounded on his watch, it was for an incoming call from Peter b.

(IDK how to describe it but Miguel is holding Miles like this now ⬇️)

After making Miles comfortable in his arm he answered the call from Peter using his chin.

(Oops just realized I accidentally posted this so it's going to be written while it's up)

Peter appeared as a hologram on his watch wearing his classic pink jacket Spiderman suit combination without the mask.

"Miguel me and MJ we're wond- oh! Who do we have here?"

Peter was looking at Miles where he was laying against his chest. His cheek adorably smushed against him.

"Hi Peter! 👋"

"Hi Miles! 🤗"

They waved at each other excitedly. God he's going to be teased so much for this.

"Welllll I was going to ask Miguel to come on a date with me and MJ but it seems I have interrupted a mamá Migs hangout session."

"I'm- we're not-."

"Have fun and take pictures for me Lyla."

Before Miguel could get another word out Peter disconnected from the call. He huffed in annoyance, he absent mindlessly began to rock Miles back and forth. Since it was on his mind now he thought about how it had been a bit since Miguel had a little session with Miles. Looking down at the boy he was holding his face conveyed the same thoughts he was having.

"Lyla are there anything important I need to attend too?"

Lyla appeared next to his right side by his head, she had been sorting files about various matters.

"No boss we're all good. Also tell Peter I said I will."

Her hologram blipped away to continue what she was doing. He reminded himself to make sure Lyla did NOT take any photos.

--------------------------------------------------

Portalling into his living room in the Spiderman head quarter's top floor he gently placed Miles on the couch. His little boy didn't want to let go of him at first but he told him how he needed both of his hands to get him ready. Reluctantly he did let go and Miguel tried to as quickly as possible get the supplies ready. Going to the bedroom he went inside his closet to get a large box. It had all of his littles that they needed. Coming back to Miles on his couch he placed the box he had next to him on the floor. He looked at Miles face a foggy look in his eyes. He was also lightly sucking on his thumb.

"Okay arañita can you tell me how old you're feeling?"

Miles took out the finger he had in his mouth and looked towards him.

"This many mamá."

He raised two fingers in front of him.

"Hmm my baby fangs is feeling really young huh?"

Miles giggled a little at his words. Miguel couldn't help but also laugh along with him. His baby boy always manages to pull a smile or chuckle out of him. Zipping down the zipper on Miles' suit he tried to shimmy him out of it for more comfortable clothes. With a little bit of struggle Miguel got him out of it. He dressed Miles bright yellow cotton shorts with cartoon sunflowers on them, a white shirt with one pocket "holding" a sun with shades, and one of his plain blue hoodies. Miles always says he likes wearing them while he's little because it is warm and it makes him feel small. Now done dressing the boy he took out a binkie themed after Miles' suit and put it in his mouth. He started to suckle on it as soon as it was in his mouth. Taking the spiderling back into his arms he settled on the couch cushions. Looking down Miles he saw him contently snuggled in his arms sucking away at his binkie. Seeing as the kid was going to take a nap he decided to take a quick one too. He laid on his back and took out a blanket from the box laying it on the top of both of them. He kissed the top of his baby's forehead for a goodnight kiss. Double checking to make sure Miles was comfortable Miguel closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep. Being 7'9 did have its advantages sometimes, like being able to hold his precious son securely in his grip as they sleep.

Lyla totally took photos of them sleeping on the couch together. >;3

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Part of the Furniture" Episode Followup, Part 2

Orli's Day: Mk. II shall continue! Don't pop those limbs off being pulled every which way, Orli.

Below the break.

That's the world's most fake plane. Not even an Odd Squad seal on it, so clearly Orwell didn't take OddAir.

Ha...wait, hold up, he's a PILOT???

Since when?! What are his qualifications?! Is he in pilot school? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AND WHY WILL WE NOT GET AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS.

Okay, these bits with Ozzie and Terry are actually pretty funny. The man's teaching the kid how to be aggressive, bless his heart.

And Ozzie...Ozzie is trying. He is trying very hard. Cut him some slack.

See? He's trying! He's bound by PBS Kids S&P, but he's trying his best!! Good for him!!!

I just let out the most deflated and saddest moan I've ever let out since Season 3 pulled that shit with "Ahead of the Times". And that had Olaf explicitly be mentioned, whereas I...don't have high hopes for this one.

Oh!! Oh, but it's unique because it involves seconds, ooooooh- shut. Just shut. This is not spicing things up any. SHUTTY-UPPY.

"Oh. Maybe it's fine?"

NO YOU I D I O T THE ROOM IS STILL RED ARE YOU C O L O R B L I N D .

Now, see, if she were green, she'd be dead.

And I am very happy I got to make that reference twice in recent memory.

Putting aside the reused spider-cat animation: if they freak out over this, never let 'em step foot in Precinct 13579. God forbid.

(On a side note: Asha really should have re-recorded her "I should say no more often" line. Tonally, it sounds too scripted.)

*violent coughing*

I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hilarious that there exists a gadget that apparently does agents' jobs for them. Like, you could base the entire fucking franchise around this one gadget. It removes any oddness? Has unlimited ammo? Hell of a Mary Sue!

God...Gemma, honey, what are you smoking?

You can hear the record scratching from where you're sitting. It's like Orli brought a gun to the world's craziest rave.

Or, for a more kid-friendly comparison, it's like that "girls at a party looking at you like you're gross" meme image.

"as usual" W-what??? TF do you mean "as usual"??? You've been fitting in since at LEAST the fourth episode, Orli, and you're pretty much part of the precinct's body. There is no "as usual" AND YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT.

Having a villain deliver this message is less impactful than when Mr. Sides delivered the falsehood that "your group has no leader" in "Odd Squad in the Shadows".

Only here, it's even stupider. There's still a falsehood, it's just a stupid lesson for being this far into the season. At least "Shadows" was early on, y'know?

Why does someone not know how to put a coaster down after they've poured some TEA???

DISGUSTANG!!

nice agent, even nicer agent

Yep, PBS Kids execs have their dirty-ass hands all over this and I'm about to go RIP UP A FUCKING FENCE, TEAR UP THE YARD, AND GET A DOG TO SHIT ON IT.

Fuck you, genuinely. You tainted something good. Go to hell.

And your credits for this episode. Looks like Celestia's pet bird made an appearance in here...somewhere.

------------------------------------------

Overall, this was a swing and a miss for Gemma. It's basically taking the plot of "Olympia's Day" and sapping out what made it fun -- not just the wild hallucinations and the sanity slippage we saw along the way, but also replacing the character in question with one that has no motive in life. And that's not even getting into the math lesson torn from such episodes as "6:00 to 6:05" and twisted to include seconds like that means anything of merit in terms of uniqueness. It does not. Oh yes, and the whole "nice agent. not-nice agent" thing. It's watered-down preschool stuff. "Good cop bad cop" would have done fine and gotten past censors just like it did all those years ago. It being British, "constable" would have been a better-suited term. "Good constable, bad constable" would have worked. (Likewise, a slang term could have been used -- "bobby" is apparently popular.)

So yeah. No. Throwing this one in the trash too. Sorry, Gemma, but you need to try harder.

Next up will be "The Odd Ness Monster", which I hear is actually pretty good. At this point I'm at the whim of the fandom when it comes to "is this episode good or not?" I don't think I can trust myself to not keep getting disappointed like this.

Seren out!

[fanficfanattic]

📓

Season One Setting

Jamie gets a phone call just a bit before practice is set to start. He answers and Roy hears him repeat back something like “an emergency? Don’t think I can babysit, on account of training.”

So Roy immediately makes trouble. Because he calls Jamie a child but boy does he like schoolyard taunts himself. Calls Lasso over, says Jamie’s friend needs a babysitter. And it’s an emergency. So Ted asks if the kids can come to the dogtrack. And his friend hears, so it has all spun out of his control.

Including Roy stealing his phone to say something cheeky. “Oh, yes, I’m definitely one of the adults, yes.”

They’re all warming up when someone from the front security walks out an older lady in a suit. She looks too old to be a hook up for Jamie. She looks too old to have kids that are within babysitting age.

Jamie hustles over but then yells for Roy. Cause Roy said he would be one of the adults. Cause they have to have documented Adults In Charge before leaving the kids somewhere. Everyone is confused but Jamie had tried to tell them!

Then a man leads out like 12 kids. Diverse group of them. A few look related to each other but a bunch don’t. The youngest is like 3 and is being carried over with the group.

And Jamie just takes charge with them. Reminds them of the rules, needs to check their names off the list, asks if there are any new allergies or issues. Does the one kid have his inhaler? (“If you need it, you use it, don’t be a hero!”)

Everyone is gobsmacked and then she’s leaving Jamie and Roy in charge of the kids until mid-afternoon. Once the lady has sorted out whatever emergency has interrupted their field trip.

He’s great with them. High energy with some, making sure suncream is on them all, that they have water and shade, art for the ones who aren’t high energy. And Lasso does a valiant attempt at keeping them on track but it soon falls to chaos. Some of the kids are doing keepy uppies with most of the team. Its fun and exhausting.

By the end, Roy has ice strapped to his knee. Half the team are resting to get enough energy to shower, and Jamie is jogging back in after walking the kids out to their bus.

And Ted asks how he knows them. So he explains that there was a summer his mum was in cancer treatment. And his dad was fucked off at the time unable to be found. So he stayed at the group home. After his mum got better, she was so grateful he was in a safe place that they’d volunteer there for holidays.

When he started at City, he funded activities and trips. And got to go on some of them. He had just been up the month before even.

Ted says something, not at all judgmental, but since Jamie couldn’t understand the tone, he got defensive. But it gets smoothed out.

He says they’ll probably make them all cards so he’ll ask for them to get sent directly to the club.

And the week after Jamie’s returned to Man City- the box does show up.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Scream

“Tommy! Tommy, wake up!”

Tommy’s eyes fling open as a gasp looses from his throat. “What the- G-Ghost- hey, stop-!”

“Are you okay, Tommy?” Ghostbur leans closer, and his eyes are all… they’re all big and sad looking. And he’s too close, he’s just… he’s too close.

Tommy rises to a sitting position, ignoring the way his head goes all spinny as he slides away. “Stop, please. I don’t- just stay there.”

Ghostbur freezes. “Okay.”

“Not like-“ Tommy groans, tearing a hand through his hair. “You don’t have to go still like that, man. Just, like… don’t come any closer. I don’t want…”

Ghostbur’s eyes widen even further, and he nods. “Oh, okay! That makes more sense.”

Tommy sighs—or groans—or shouts—something. He runs both of his hands through his hair, and he can feel some strands being pulled out by their roots. He could go bald like this, if he keeps pulling. He could look like Jack Manifold.

Tommy pulls his hands away. He balls them into fists and digs them against his blanket. His blanket is pretty wrinkly, all jumbled and uneven. Still soft, though. Warm.

“Tommy?” Ghostbur’s voice is small and croaky, and Tommy lifts his head up to stare at him. Ghostbur looks… scared. “What happened?”

“What- what do you mean?” Tommy shifts, reaching his hands behind him to make sure his pillow is still here. It is. That’s warm, too. “I was sleeping and then you woke me up. Why’d you do that? You made me all stressed and wind-uppy, like a toy that claps its hands together. Like one of those loud music monkeys. You made me into a loud music monkey, Ghostbur.”

Ghostbur opens and closes his mouth. “Do you have memory problems, Tommy?”

“What? No, why would you… I can remember things- I’ve got a good memory! I’ve got a great memory, Ghostbur! I’m not all messed up in the head like you and Ranboo! I’m better than that!”

Ghostbur gives a slight shake of his head. “But you don’t remember what happened a few minutes ago.”

“I don’t…” Now Tommy is the one who opens and closes his mouth, stunned speechless. “Ghostbur, what- what happened a few minutes ago?”

Ghostbur’s eyes get big again, and weirdly shiny. “You were screaming.”

Tommy’s heart drops inside his chest. “I was?”

Ghostbur nods. “I was sitting at the front of the tent and then I heard you start screaming. And when I went over to you, I saw that you were still asleep. Your eyes were closed.” He looks down at the ground. “You didn’t look very asleep, though.”

Tommy’s heart pounds. Screaming? He was screaming? In his sleep? No, surely… surely he wasn’t. Surely he wasn’t. He wouldn’t do that. He’s never done that. Has he?

“Why would I scream in my sleep?” Tommy only realizes that he’s spoken that aloud after he’s done so, and his face burns red.

Ghostbur continues staring at the ground. “Maybe you were having a nightmare.”

A nightmare.

Something begins to tug at Tommy’s mind; a sound, maybe. Feet hitting the ground, hard. Sand. Someone-

Someone was laughing. Tommy was running away. He was running away so fast. He was getting- he thought he was getting away, but he wasn’t getting away. He wasn’t getting away at all.

"Tommy?" Ghostbur whispers, loudly, leaning himself a little bit closer. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Tommy nods before he realizes that he’s nodding. “Yeah. I think- I think I did, Ghostbur.”

Tommy doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like the way his heart pounds in his ears—that’s not where hearts live—and he doesn’t like how loud it is—hearts are not supposed to be this loud. His skin feels cold and wet and sticky, and he doesn’t like that either. He doesn’t… feel right. Nothing feels right.

All of a sudden he becomes aware of something right next to him, and Tommy jerks his head up, finding Ghostbur sitting on his bed, maybe a foot away. Ghostbur’s eyes are dark in the night.

“Tommy?”

Tommy lifts his chin. When he speaks, his voice comes out all croaky, like Ghostbur’s. “Yeah?”

“Would you like a hug?”

No. Tommy doesn’t want a hug. He wants to get out of this tent and run. He doesn’t know where he wants to run. Maybe towards the forest, or maybe along the beach, or maybe in- no, not in the ocean.

Tommy wants to get away. He wants to get away from here and never come back.

Tommy nods his head yes.

“Okay,” Ghostbur whispers, moving closer. Wasting no time. “I’ll give you a hug, Tommy. I’ll give you the darn best hug that’s ever been given and then you’ll feel better, okay?”

Tommy opens his mouth to agree, but nothing ends up coming out. Ghostbur’s arms are wrapped around him now, leaning close. Tommy’s head is right by Ghostbur’s shoulder. Ghostbur’s sweater is soft. He’s warmer than the air around him.

Ghostbur is hugging Tommy, and Tommy lets him. He doesn’t hug back, though. He just stays still.

~~~

This feels very unfinished but alsgaosgisgsuav here ya go I guess!

Just. Ghostbur and Tommy <3 I love them sooooo much yes I do <33

Oh, and if it wasn’t obvious, this is set during Exile!!

For this ask game :)

[noyoucannotpushthevoid]

Back on my Bullshit: Blue and Her Boys as Quotes from my Dnd Groups

"I roll acrobatics to climb aboard" - anyone trying to get into the backseat of the pig "Sorry [Henry], there's not enough [mice] to go around" - Ronan sharing baby mice with everyone but Henry "Going in for another whack-a-mole" - Lynch brothers fighting "[Ronan] is a beefcake, alright?" - Hennessey hyping up Ronan "He is longer than the hole is wide" - Jesse Diddley and his cave "[Kavinsky] has one goal and it is to plunder and loot" "There's only one word for that: adequate" - Adam doing staff reviews at work "You take his bedroll and do a happy little leprechaun dance back to your tent" - Ronan stealing stuff from Declan as a child "First the voices, then the bedroll not existing" - Adam being so so tired that he starts to lose stuff "It's fucking library time" - Adam and Gansey "You would have the basketball hoop hamper" - Ronan to Noah who would have a basketball hoop hamper "Romantic hold, you mean uppies" - Ronan making fun of the height difference between Gansey and Blue "Would win: Squirrel or large haldron collider" - Ronan  "[Noah] can still experience terminal velocity" - Gansey trying to convince Ronan not to throw Noah out the window again "Welcome to costco for drugs" - Kavinsky "'You can't lick me' (Noah) 'Is that a challenge?' (Ronan)" "Hey boys, how do you feel about summoning satan tonight?" - Neeve "Bug satan bug satan bug satan" - if you know you know, you know? "As yes, these heathens who read" - Ronan bored watching everyone else do their homework "I mean pricking my finger is pretty simple" - Adam “He’s now nice and damp and gross smelling” - Ronan after tennis/Gansey after rowing “[Gansey]! Is! Caked! Up!” - Henry “No! [Adam], give me your body” - Cabeswater “Your brain is so smooth, I could shine it” - Adam at other students “[Gansey], be our dad” “My pronouns are gay/them” - Ronan any time someone assumes he’s straight “He might just be a little guy, but he can’t sit with us” - Ronan about Henry “You get one rizz between the three of you” - That first night at Ninos when Adam asked Blue out "yea, baby's first flail! let's go!" - Ronan when Chainsaw picks up a knife for the first time “There’s no longer strange creatures in his shirt” - Chainsaw being old enough that Ronan doesn’t have to secretly bring her to school anymore “I wasn’t paying attention because I was too excited about Excel Spreadsheets” - Gansey “The spirit bong” - Noah “I guess you could smoke ectoplasm if you REALLY want to” - The rest of the gang trying to figure out how Noah would smoke as a ghost "all of the hazing is horse themed" - Hazing at Aglionby in bumfuck Virginia "Some people have never been severely mentally ill, and it shows" - Ronan “Magic exists and Big [Declan] doesn’t want you to know about it” - Declan not telling Ronan about the Fairy Market “Don’t be rude-phobic” - Henry when someone’s mean to Ronan "Do better next time white man" - This could be either Blue or Henry, but the white man in question is Gansey regardless

[diseasedcube]

Cutthwoat thwows uppy

Something must have been wrong with you, accepting a meal from a stranger. But hey, when someone offers to buy you mcnuggies, do you decline? Hell no, even if said stranger looked suspiciously like a man you’ve seen on the news many times before, what crime did he commit again? Well, it didn’t matter at the time, free food is free food, even if the coins he used to pay came from what looked to be a woman’s wallet that certainly couldn’t be his, and his fingers had dark flecks of red to match those on the cash. You’d never seen a man scarf down so many nuggets in your life, but who were you to judge when he was feeding you? 

You had nothing to worry about in life except the nuggets in your belly as you thanked him for the meal and turned to walk home. It shortly became apparent that you were being followed, and by who other than the white clad nuggets man himself. The wanted pictures of him started to take shape more clearly in your head as you glanced back, only to see a knife in his hand. Well, your luck for the day could only have lasted so long, hopefully it could last just long enough to outrun him though. 

The holy Shinkansen had other plans for you that day though, giving your short legged figure the tallest murderer in the world to outpace. And really, for as much as you strained, the sloshing nuggets in your stomach were not giving you any strength that they appeared to grant him, for he had already caught up to you. 

His speed and weight sent you both tumbling over the pavement in a roll, he ended up on top. Breathing oh so disgustingly close to your face, his teeth were surprisingly gorgeous and perfect, though his breath stank of processed meat and…was that fresh blood you smelled? Just stab me already, thank you for the meal, I guess this is my payment for trusting strangers, you thought. 

But he didn’t do anything, his breathing became open mouthed and almost heaving, this was quite the pale man, but you could swear he was almost turning green under the red street lights. Beads of sweat dripped onto you, and you wished you could squirm away from the saliva that dripped from his open mouth. A drop landed on your cheek and if you hadn’t been pinned to the floor by a wanted murderer, you’d be wiping it off and maybe screaming and running by now, but you could hardly move away. 

You wished he’d just do something already, kill you, release you, anything. The dry heaving was getting really concerning, more so than the predicament you already were placed in. He could at least move his face a few inches back, it was as if he was going in for a kiss but he never tried to close contact. 

Then, oh god no, retching sounds. With his body pressing upon yours, you felt every convulsion he made, and you were far too close for comfort to watch his pink eyes water and roll back. You wriggled and writhed but there was no escaping your fate. The nuggets you had both enjoyed only minutes earlier were being sent on a projectile course right towards your face. An involuntary gasp at the liquid and chunks splashing your cheeks allowed some to drip in your mouth, and this only led to your gag reflex activating too. Now you felt your nuggets coming up, his vomit scented breath in your nostrils was only quickening the bile making its way up. Laying on your back was the worst position for this, as your own mcdonald’s sludge burbled like a geyser in your mouth, allowing his liquids to seep onto your tongue for your vomits to mix. You could feel yourself choking on it, unable to even turn your head to properly swallow it or spit out this abhorrent mixture of fluids, you felt consciousness fade as the mysterious mcdonalds man hovered over you and you aspirated to death.

“Rip in peace, my precious nugget darling” he whispered to you as you died. 

@herdisturbedheart big mcthankies from mcspankies for the idea 🥰

[muffant]

Yeah know what. Gotta remember this site is text as much as it is art. So imma babble about

Cookie Run Kingdom.

The current most fixation, not hyper though. I'm just bored.

For starters it's that stupid jester who got me to actually focus on this game. I want him so badly and yet my gacha pulls DENY ME!! I'm about half way to a guaranteed pull and a couple of weeks to do it. So here's wishing me luck!

So the dump jester taunts me every log in. Grrrrr, I want him in my pocket! Let's talk about who's already in my pocket and why I love them!

Devil Cookie

THIS LIL GUY!! Fuck I just wanna PUNT him ❤️✨❤️✨❤️❤️✨✨✨❤️✨ Just, he's so bulliable!! Like man's just out here trying to cause mischief and mayhem for everyone so the one true God (me) comes in to trip him every now and again. And his pick up animation!!

BABIES CRYING!!! MWAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yes I made this gay baby jail just for him ehshhehehs I love this dialog line paired with being trapped on an island.

I really wish he was more powerful so I would have an excuse to put him on my teams, I love hearing him shout "GIMME YOUR SOUL" like he's baby, he wants uppies, imma tell him gimme gimme never gets.

He's just unapologetically a little shit, his dialogue out here pulling funny (sometimes harmful) pranks on everyone.

Gingerbrave and Gang

I know it's a given, their the main characters but I just, thems the babies I wanna hold them. They really fr just a bunch of tods(15yrs) trying to fight gods and rule an entire kingdom. Like give the kids a break! (Btw I haven't caught up to the story line yet. I've just heard bits and pieces uwu)

In order of likeness:

Wizard: I love the nerd, I wanna see his magic tricks, I wanna pat him on the ice cream hair and tell him he's doing a good job. His caution is very good to have in a world of unknowns

Gingerbrave: what can I say I love a heroic self sacrificing protag. He's just a complete sweet heart, no thoughts only good vibes. I do have questions and ideas. His main personality trait is running. But what is he running from? (And equally what is he running towards <3) Idk if I ever think of a human au these kids are defo in fostercare.

Strawberry: you know I didn't have much of an opinion of her at first, but over time she grew on me. She's definitely not as brave as Brave or as smart as Wizard but she's got heart. I've noticed she's always first to ask if someone's okay. Also she's a fucking Gamer Girl in a hoodie. She mentioned DLC in one of the dialogues. She's a geek. I don't think she's shy, more unconfident. Loves her tho

Custard: okay yeah the cinnamon roll is kinda cute, not gunna lie. And his determination makes me like him over his ego. Also I imagine he's defo youngest of the group, so cut the baby some slack.

Chili Pepper: eeeeeehhh my least favorite. She's aight, her thieving antics are starting to grow on me but it's a bit annoying. I do like making her the begrudging baby sitter of the group though. Hehehehe

Anywho that's them. Now onto my art attempts so far

First attempts were just throwing mud at the wall and drawing. Nothing really here but vibes

Second attempts were more so trying to copy faces and really get the proportions in mind.

Then it's it's figuring out how these fucks are built unlike we were told they are flat as fuck but that's hard to visualize and draw. So I made their heads round

Then I just drew the gang, the babiest.

Anyways that's my Ted talk.

[withleeknow]

I genuinely love miffy's resurgence bc she's really the cutest:')) my SIL gifted me this one and I almost cried 🐰🥺 we.tl/t-UPxfn5EnQm

hahaha so I've always enjoyed p1h's music/vibe but when they covered chk chk boom I was sold: vm.tiktok.com/ZGddEpqKB/ I was too busy freaking tf out to get my own footage 🫡 oh and jiung - the cat-coded INTJ member w/ butterfly tattoos + the most beautiful siren eyes - stole my entire heart 🖤 (yes there is a theme but at least it's on-brand) hims- vm.tiktok.com/ZGddwWjKd/

don't get me started on ksj1, I wasn't expecting the hair rotation!! ngl him as a brunette chestnut is lowkey giving beomgyu and the blonde?? gyu in his current sanctuary era 🌰🤎 I can't wait to indulge in his silver voice all over again after so long:')) why would you put ot7 in the rotation god not on a monday

bruh the way you're securing enha albums!! the lanky men brainrot really has been ✨️ impactful ✨️ /I personally think you should get both 🐈‍⬛🐧/ speaking of- your man in a corset? vm.tiktok.com/ZGddKCueH/ awful behaviour. give me 20.

truly a life-changing experience for the microwave (worth the lower back + calf pains:')) my fav part was finding myself next to a girlie who seemed the only age-appropriate fan in a 10-mile radius w/ immediate vibes so we spent the entire time singing + dancing our hearts out together 🥺💟 when can we have our shared concert moment idc who it is, we're having our uppie skzoos link hands <3

your miffy is beautiful oh my gosh, i hope our miffy babies can meet one day 😭

omg i saw some snippos of the chk chk boom cover but i didn't know it was them :o they did so well! i briefly looked them up on google and aklsdhkj i have no idea why but i always thought they were much older than they actually are 😂 but a cat coded intj you say... color me slightly intrigued 🤐

ksj1 !!!!1!!!!!!!1! he's really doing the most these days. before he came back i genuinely thought he would ghost us for at least a few months and just play video games 24/7 to his heart's content lol but he's been up and running every day !! magazine cover after magazine cover, event after event now a whole solo release !! and anne hathaway is rumored to star in the mv for 'i'll be there' ?? what kind of crazy crossover is this 🫠 gahhh he looks so good in the concept photos, i love love loveee the old school vibes and the colors, truly chef's kiss 🤌 i can't wait to listen to 'i'll be there' when it comes out tmr (on mimo day too, we're getting fed so well) 😭

LMFAO MY MAN LOLLLLLL do you know what reading that did to me. god why did he come out of nowhere and just completely whacked me in the face like that. at first i didn't notice the corset but when i finally did see it... jesus christ 🫠 this should not be legal !! mayhaps i will indulge in a 🐧 album too... is this the start of jen collecting enha stuff

age appropriate akdakja lmao i never even thought about how young the crowd there must've been. i'm glad you found good company 🥺 having someone to vibe with at concerts really is one of the best feelings :')

i can't believe you would end the ask with something DISGUSTING like that. FOUL of you. our skzoos linking hands... i'm gonna think about this for the next 7 working days. 🍙 x 🌱would be SO powerful can you imagine 😭 one of my preferred locations for the skz tour is amsterdam is so i can go to the miffy store there lol

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (725): Tue 12th Mar 2024

Off to the town for a tattoo of my loyal companion Lucy (A loyal companion is someone whose shit you scoop off a pavement with plastic bag right?). This mutt has been a constant source of comfort for me and the family in the decade she's been with us and it's time I repaid her with a permanent tribute adorned on my body for all eternity. I've also been a fan of The Green Lantern since I was a kid and I always try to merge two or more ideas when I get tattoos to make them unique (and to save money) so I decided on getting a tattoo of Lucy wearing a little Green Lantern outfit. Green Lantern is my favourite comic character and I think if the Lanterns picked an animal to join the team they would want one who showed extreme bravery and loyalty and Lucy would be the perfect fit. I got the same artist who has done my last few tattoos and I'm glad because she's amazing and I've been recommending her to everyone who has complimented her work on my arms. The picture I sent her of Lucy when she was a uppy was what she was working from and I didnt quite realise how jet black her nose and mouth were when she was that young. It was so black that you couldn't make out her nose on the picture. I was worried that the tattoo was going to come out looking like Lucy had just been eating from a bowl of tar but the tattoo artist said she would lighten it so you could make out the nose. I wish these guys had TV's for me to watch while the tattoos are getting done because I always end up just staring at the wall for the entire session and I never seem to be able to make conversation, though maybe that's a good thing as I don't want the artists to be distracted after all. The general outline of the tattoo was fine but when she started doing the colouring in it really started to hurt like a bitch but I maintained my stoic composure throughout and didn't even feign the need to visit the little boys room in order to get a reprieve from the pain. The finished result is absolutely amazing and I immediately knew I had made the right choice. I know some people may say it's ridiculous to get your dog's image tattooed on you but Lucy has been with me for over a decade now and every day when I've come home after a shitty day at work she's always been there to sit on my lap while I watch the wrestling and help de-stress me so she has contributed a lot to my life. That being said I do like the idea of being a 90 year old man in an old people's home and my carers looking at the cartoon drawings all over my body and trying to work out what the Hell they are.

I watched Lenny Henry interviewed about his upcoming final time presenting Comic Relief. I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan of Lenny's but…no that's it I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan. Don't like him, think he's a bad comedian. I used to watch Comic Relief every time it was on back in the day when they would actually have people from the comedy industry hosting it like Jonathan Ross, Graham Norton, Michael McIntyre, Ant & Dec etc but now they just get any fucker to present it. This year they've got Maya Jama presenting for Christ's sake. If they started doing a telethon called "Sex Relief" where there get loads of sexy people to do sexy things to raise money then yes absolutely Maya Jama should be a presenter on that. So should Helen Flannigan, Alice Levine, Isla Traquair, Mollie King and Angela Scanlon (I'm sure the BBC would find a way to shoehorn Romesh Ranganathen into the show somehow too so it wouldn't be all sexy). The only Comic Relief I've watched all the way through was the 2007 edition which featured Ross, Norton, Paul O'Grady, Russell Brand, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost AKA actual funny people presenting a show aiming to raise money by being funny. It also featured the best comedy talent of the day including Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, Mitchell and Webb, Harry Hill, Little Britain, Catherine Tate among others. These were the most critically acclaimed and popular faces in British comedy at the time but nowadays the sketches are made by whatever shit happens to be on the box. Tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks, the focal point of which was Romeo trying to convince Prince to help him escape. I really don't get how we were meant to sympathize with Romeo here which is what they were going for. He killed Rayne albeit accidentally but he still let his best friend Prince take the blame for it before he was eventually found to be the culprit. Now hes escaped with help from James and we're apparently supposed to feel sorry for him. This is one aspect of the show that I've always hated where they try to get us to feel empathy for someone whose actions have been reprehensible (mainly Warren). Prince cornered Romeo in Dilly's old house where Romeo gave him some bullshit apology and for some reason Prince agreed to help him get out of the country even though if it hadn't been for Lacey uncovering the footage of Romeo killing Rayne then Prince would still be in jail now. The end of the episode featured Romeo exiting the show on a horse as the police approached the house. Ah yes a horse, a perfect thing for someone with a fresh stab wound to escape on. Farewell Romeo Nightingale. The only character to ever be written out of the show because there were no more female characters for him to shag. Elsewhere Nancy was bollocking Suzanne about laying about the house all day and Suzanne fired back that she was looking for a job but things kept getting in the way. Yeah things like Ethan's dick!

[youcanseethecosmos]

Okay but... an au with single father morpheus and nanny hob is everything to me. you don't understand.

morpheus, who works his ass off to provide for his three kids (gilbert, gault, corinthian) while mourning the loss of another (orpheus). lucienne is a frequent babysitter but soon morpheus decides he needs someone who's always there. lucienne has other jobs to do than pick his kids up from school, it's not fair to her.

so he puts out a job listing with the help of his assistant matthew because morpheus is shit at new technology. ("why do they keep putting out new models that keep getting thinner? it's unnecessary, matthew. unnecessary and too expensive.") he's desperate, would probably take anyone who didn't seem like a serial killer from their resume at this point.

but no matter how many people he interviews that Could help him, it's his children that matter the most. he's been told children are excellent judges of character and if even One of his kids doesn't like the potential nanny, they're gone. they don't even get a trial run if Gilbert – his eldest and infinitely most reliable – is the one who says "father, i don't like the new nanny." well, that nanny is out the door no questions asked.

enter: hob gadling. his resume is extensive — former veteran, previous personal assistant to some big names, co-founder of a printing business based in Wales, and most recently, a university professor just a few miles away from where Morpheus lives.

morpheus interviews him out of curiosity. how could a man who could do virtually anything want to be a nanny? he's only a few years shy of reaching tenure too, why stop now? and hob surprises him by saying that life's too precious and short to limit oneself to one thing.

"plus, i had a son once."

had. not have.

morpheus decides to give him a test run. he's keeping his expectations low. he even braces himself for the storm when he introduces the kids to hob.

surprisingly, it was corinthian who approaches first, barely two years old and wobbling on his feet as he stares up at hob. morpheus is ready to quell a tantrum at a moment's notice. but corinthian just holds his arms up expectantly at hob, a quiet but very demanding "uppies" slipping out from behind his pacifier and morpheus relaxes instantaneously.

"he doesn't like people, mostly." morpheus says, in awe of how naturally hob cradles his youngest son. "he doesn't even ask me to carry him."

then gault asks hob to play with her — a classic game of heroes and villains. she bestows the treasured identity of The Sandman to Hob, a character she only ever lets morpheus play when he has the time. the mask looks too small on hob and the cape looks like a handkerchief around his neck but hob takes the role very seriously, helping defeat imaginary monsters and nightmares with gault. she smiles so bright that morpheus has to excuse himself from the room to blink away tears.

but it was gilbert who would eventually have the final say. gilbert is kind, so much kinder than morpheus is. but he is protective of his siblings. after orpheus passed, he assumed the role of big brother so easily that morpheus felt guilty for giving him that burden. but gilbert, sweet and kind gilbert, loves his family. could never call his baby siblings a burden.

so when at the end of the day, when all the children were tucked into their little beds by hob and they all got a bedtime story from morpheus, morpheus told hob to stay in the living room while he checked on the kids again. he went to gilbert's room, who was expecting him, and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"well?" morepheus asked, heart beating with nervous anticipation. "what did you think of him?"

gilbert didn't say anything for a while. he just stared at his dad while absentmindedly fiddling with the plush toy raven in his hands. morpheus was prepared for the worst.

but after a bit, gilbert just smiled and said "i think he's good for us."

morpheus had never felt so relieved in his life.

but as he placed a kiss on gilbert's forehead, gilbert surged up to give him a hug. morpheus gathered up his son in his arms and held him tight.

"i think he's good for you too, dad."

so morpheus immediately hires hob as a live-in nanny.

but he can't get gilbert's words out of his head — he's good for you too, dad.