#sociopath abuse

[th1rdt3chnician]

who up hating pop psychology

[autopsyfreak]

more products of my chronic boredom.

edit: since so many of you are completely misconstruing the purpose of this meme, the reason why HPD isn’t mentioned on this post is because this is specifically talking about the personality disorders that i have been diagnosed with and the demonisation i’ve experienced.

[the-bonfires-ember]

Narc abuse truthers: “Narcissists only care about manipulating you and breaking you like you’re a plaything for them 😡”

me, a Narcissistic Sociopath, getting supply from my friends therapists calling me a healthy influence, strong pillar of support, and a good friend: 🙂

[cruelbrutality]

I have no empathy, remorse, guilt or compassion.

That is how I experience things, as a result of my personality disorders.

If you are going to support personality disorders then you also must include people with these symptoms as well and not just the glorified version the media attempts to convey.

[viktoriaashleyyx]

A list of why I do not like Feyre and question her narrative:

I'm writing this while at work and from memory so it is not comprehensive, feel free to add onto this. Also, I only read up to a few chapters into ACOFAS before I dropped the whole series and got my money back.

First and foremost, the straw that broke the camels back, and the most important: She praised RhySAnd for the enactment of the blockade against Hewn City citizens in Velaris. The Hewn city is a City, not a prison, most of the people trapped there are only guilty of the crime of being born there. I don't blame you, Kier, I would've ignored her ass too for that stupid ass "you have all the comforts here" comment. It is difficult to continue to care that Tamlin locked her up when she shows no empathy towards the people she locks up. When she accepted the title of High Lady she accepted responsibility for the practices and procedures carried out by the Night Court. "I don't want those people ruining my perfect city" stfu.

False r@pe accusation to manipulate Tamlin and Lucien. It seemed like the moral of that scene was "don't trust everyone who tells you they've been r@ped, they could just be manipulating you." Fuck you SJM. These books are the fucking opposite of feminist.

Conjuring wings from a people she is not a part of when MOST of the women from that culture have their wings clipped. She never once thought of them. She never cared. And then proceeds to use them for her partners sexual pleasure. Definitely cultural appropriation.

She never cared or considered the people of the Spring court who she helped destroy. She's gallivanting around the Night court while the citizens of Spring have become refugees in other lands. Tamlin is at least suffering for his part in it.

Her nasty ass comments toward Tarquin who has never done anything to her except send her a damn ruby. Her attitude towards everyone who is not RhySAnd is disgusting and off putting. She's just an entitled brat.

Continues to treat Lucien like shit. He confessed to her about his incredibly tragic past and her response is "it still doesn't excuse how he treated me." Bitch he was rude to you because you killed his friend. No self awareness.

There will be more later, but this is the main shit.

[pip3dream]

imagine how many people at psu are scared of Aaron Minyard because of his murder charge and trial

[tilbageidanmark]

THE TWILIGHT ZONE, 2025.

[unsolicitedadvicecatlady]

Negotiating with a terrorist

Some time ago I was involved in a hostage negotiation. The negotiation lasted 218 days before we reached a successful outcome. That was one of the hardest 7 months of my life. I got a lot of grey hairs, and I learned a little about human behavior. Now that there's been some distance between those events and the present, I'd like to share some of what I learned.

Growing up, I remember hearing "we don't negotiate with terrorists." Unfortunately, it's something I had to learn how to do. I'm not an expert, by far. There are people out there with a lot more experience in these types of high-stakes negotiations, however, this is some of the information that I used to get to an acceptable resolution, and this blog is an outlet that I use to share my unsolicited advice.

First, you have to stop thinking "it's us vs. them." You have to change your mindset into thinking about this as a collaborative effort. They're not the enemy, they are your counterpart. You're spinning in different directions, but you still need to work together with them here.

Next, take your best guess at your counterpart's perspective. Are they spouting a bunch of bullshit about how they're the real victim here? How life owes them? How somebody owes them? Get into their shoes to get into their head. It's not that you're buying their rhetoric, but you want them to think that you're looking out for their best interests, otherwise, they're not going to listen to a word you have to say.

Build rapport with them. Repeat back to them the last few words of what they just said, using an upwards inflection to indicate benign curiosity, or a downwards inflection to indicate they can elaborate because they haven't sold you on this idea, yet. The "yet" is the operative word. Give them the sense that you're really listening to understand, not to respond.

Use phrases like: "it sounds like," "it looks like," "it feels like," and reassure them that you are listening to what they're saying. For example, "it sounds like you're pretty tired of not being heard. Tell me, what's really going on?" or "it looks like you want to be taken seriously here. You've got my attention." or "it feels like you're in a really tough spot here. What do you need right now?"

You're not saying this because you're such a nice person, you are, but you're talking to a sociopath, you've gotta do a little acting. A lot of acting. You want to use your friendly, upbeat voice, like you're talking to a good buddy. That slows their brainwaves down and makes them feel safe. If you want to speed their brainwaves up and knock them off balance, talk fast and aggressively. If you want them to cool back off then use a slow cadence, deep tone, nice and easy, real slow.

Express a real interest in their point of view. Get them talking about all the absolute trash propaganda and their own narrative. Ramp up their sense of safety by respectfully acknowledging their emotions behind what they're saying. Paraphrase a little, let them know you're really here to listen to them. If they're holding back, prime them by guessing at what they're thinking and feeling. Learn to see suffering first.

Agree with them as much as you can. This might sound counterintuitive, but you've got to make them feel like you're really looking out for their best interests, so when they say something that you can agree with, focus on that.

Understand the difference between "You're right" and "That's right." "You're right" means "Shut up, please; I'm going to do what I like anyway." While "That's right" means "I now know that you understand where I'm coming from, and I agree with what you're saying."

Ask "no" oriented questions. People are more comfortable answering a question with "no" than they are with "yes." So, rephrase all of your questions that you want a "yes" to so that the answer you want is "no."

Let your own "no" out gently and only in teaspoonfuls. They're operating with a very self-centered mindset, so when you tell them "No" it's going to be like a slap in the face to them. Instead, ask "How am I supposed to do that?" They might tell you exactly how you're supposed to do that. So, say something like "It sounds like you've really thought this through. I'm sorry. I'm afraid that's just not going to be possible from my end." Compliment their intelligence and be apologetic. This person is an egomaniac, they'll eat that garbage for breakfast.

Get them to a point of cognitive overload by asking a rapid series of "how" and "what" questions. Any more than five and they'll be mentally exhausted. This can cause agitation, so be tactful of when you use this.

When negotiating you can't be so set on what you want that you wouldn't take something even better. Don't fixate on one outcome. Be open to the possibility that your best idea isn't actually the best idea.

One of your crucial objectives here is mutual respect. Don't dis the narcissist. Things will escalate if you start speaking disrespectfully. Use deference, tact, a calm approach, empathy (not sympathy), and let them know you respect them (especially if you hate their guts). Immediately apologize if you've said or done anything to offend them. Remember you're dealing with a totally self-absorbed human here.

Another thing to remember is you must be genuinely respectful. If you're faking it, they will be able to tell instantly. Don't be patronizing or condescending. It's very likely that they have been faking good intentions longer than you have, and they're most likely skilled in manipulation. So, don't even try to sound genuine, actually be genuine. You don't agree with them, you don't like them, but you do respect them.

Another critical objective here is finding a long-term mutually agreeable solution. You can always just shoot them once you get what you need, but don't focus on the short-term. Leave them looking forward to talking with you again. And then you can shoot them.

When you're in a good mood you're more likely to notice important details and make good decisions. The reverse of that is when you're in a bad mood you're more likely to miss important details and make bad decisions. So, do your damnedest to stay in a positive state of mind. Eliminate distractions, walk as much as you can (even just a 20-minute walk can clear your head and help your cognitive processing), eat well, sleep well, keep up with your hygiene and self-care, find the time to unwind and relax when you can. You can't afford to slip up on account of low blood sugar.

When you do get them to commit to something, make them spell out all the details. Ask questions. Lots of questions. Get precise answers, nothing ambiguous is going to go through. When they can visualize the outcome with you down to the smallest details, that is a very strong indicator that they really mean business here.

All of this takes practice. If you get in enough practice with negotiating in safe, low-stakes scenarios, like talking to your partner about dinner plans, or negotiating with a toddler about naptime, this will just start coming naturally to you.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of tools and tactics. I'm probably still traumatized by some of it and have forgotten a lot. I just felt like posting what I could recall while I still have some grey cells speaking to each other.

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to negotiate with a terrorist, a narcissist, a sociopath, or just a self-centered asshole, do yourself a service and research, research, research! Read every book you can get your hands on, watch every YouTube video and listen to every podcast on high conflict/high stakes conversations and negotiations, learn about psychology, biopsychosocial rhythms, read every blog, website, white paper, magazine article, and stone tablet you can find about human behavior. Exhaust every avenue and arm yourself to the teeth with knowledge.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Part II is now available.

[autopsyfreak]

i hate how often people act like advocating for cluster b personality disorders is just advocating for BPD.

they ignore the existence of HPD.

they treat ASPD and NPD like they’re inherently ‘evil’ disorders.

and even their advocacy for BPD is flawed because it’s a heavily watered-down and romanticised version of what the disorder involves.

do better.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

”I got the woodshed treatment and I turned into a completely well-adjusted adult!”

Right. You’re so well-adjusted that you now openly advocate for whipping children with belts. You’re so well-adjusted that the only solution to any of your problems with your child is violence. You want to beat a human being. Let that sink in for a hot fucking second. You stupid old man.

I don’t agree with you because you’re clearly in the wrong. Do I get to whip YOU with a belt? No? Because adults should be more mature than that? Oh, okay.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

I hope that Natalie Grace Mans sues Hulu. Jesus fuck.

[jackmythix]

Yo does anyone have a list of real aspd (specifically sociophathic) symptoms that aren't just "omg they're so manipulative and heartless and if you're toxic THEN you count and you can never be a good person if you're a sociopath" bullshit?? I don't want misinformed trash, I want actual factual symptoms of what it is.

I think I'm finally ready to do some personal reflecting that I've put off for years,,,,

Obviously if I think I don't fit the criteria then its whatevs, I would rather question and find out I'm not then never question and always wonder.

[wyzechyld]

I am truly amazed by how deep you sank your teeth into my existence—

and whether or not you loved me hardly stands out next to the multifaceted mélange of counterfeit moments

you wove so elegantly to keep my head twisted off my shoulders and full of sirens.

You are an artist, swooning to the sadistic melody of a siren captivated by her own reflection—

masticating the bitter fruits from each tree until there is nothing left but gnashing teeth,

twisted roots, a pound of flesh, and whatever the fuck might be left of a diseased me.

But to you, I could be anybody, so long as I’m weak.

So long as the cracks in my soul portray dim shadow puppets

falling forward as they fall asleep to the persistent thud, thud, thud of your dancing feet.

The insatiable thirst for chemical release you marked as love

viciously dominated each impulse hidden beneath words

spilling from your mouth like pregnant spiders.

Your chest swells with confabulation,

and you wonder why it hurts all the time.

But you know—really, really, you know—

possessed by vampiric intent, and honestly,

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were chalk full of flies.

I don’t wonder anymore, though uncertainty beckons,

repeatedly wandering from downcast eyes

so worried of being cast aside,

crystallized and stoned and—

shattered amidst lies.

A never-ending déjà vu—

or another one of those night terrors—

coming down with broken bones,

just to go paralyzed dreaming of elusive homes,

where no one ever needed me anyway.

Sleazy, queasy garnishes of pragmatic drive-bys—

freezing the frame so I can quickly erase the white chalk outlines while hope dies.

A needle in my arm to slam the truth somewhere the sun won’t shine,

because it doesn’t get any darker than this,

and I’m only getting started.

The night remains full of voices

that never really said anything at all,

and I’m still not wondering why it all happened this way.

[ultralazycreatorfan]

I have such mixed feelings about Shauna because on one hand I’m like “fuck you fuck you fuck you, you want to cook Ben alive you sociopath” and on the other I do love women’s wrongs

[neurotypicalabusesurvivor]

Would it not be cool if we could have a post with none ableist tips for how to navigate life with NPD and/or ASPD.

So give me your best tips on how to live with ASPD and/or NPD.

(narc abuse truthers will be banned on sight.)

[autopsyfreak]

Homicidal Ideation

homicidal ideation is the term for having active thoughts about murdering others. these thoughts can be intrusive, however they can also often be voluntary.

misconceptions:

‘people who have these thoughts either have killed someone or will kill someone in the future’ - this is false. most people who have these thoughts usually have disordered behaviours (most commonly as a result of personality disorders) and struggle to find healthy ways to cope with their emotions, therefore provocation and stress can easily cause thoughts of inflicting harm onto others. this doesn’t inherently mean these people are dangerous, nor does it mean that they’re going to act upon these thoughts. most people who experience homicidal ideation never act on it and use it more as a way to process their distress/frustration internally.

‘having these thoughts about people in your life means you can’t possibly care for them’ - also false. caring for someone doesn’t make them an exception to mental illness and it doesn’t stop your mental illnesses from existing. to think that someone’s love for you is only valid as long as they’re not displaying traits of mental illness is unfair and is hugely misinformed. to love and be loved by someone who is mentally ill is to accept that they will display symptoms of their mental illness. you are not the exception and they do not love you any less by showing traits of being unwell.

‘so you endorse murder’ - no. that’s not at all what this means and if you seriously think this then your grasp of severe mental health issues is too limited to be commenting on such topics.

‘you’re evil’ - for being unwell? don’t be a cunt. if you seriously think that having a disordered manner of processing emotions internally makes someone ‘evil’ then that sounds more like an issue with you being too sensitive and having a lack of understanding, not an issue with the mentally ill person experiencing these thoughts. don’t make your inability to understand mental illness into someone else’s problem.

as someone who does experience homicidal ideation, it’s also important to not make the mistake of assuming everyone who is mentally ill experiences these thoughts either. i had an anonymous ask earlier today that directly associated the fact i’m mentally unwell with murder and homicidal thoughts, to immediately make this assumption just because someone is mentally ill is disgusting.