#social expectations of relationships

[extreme-technicality]

Kay so I’m aro right, and because of that I’ve got some funky cool weird shit around certain common relationship activities tee ehm, one of those being kissing. Broadly speaking, I don’t like it. Forehead kisses, shoulder kisses, basically anything not on the face, those are fine for me pretty much 100% of the time. But like. Kissing kissing?? Like making out?? Ahaha no. I’ll do it for like a bit or to prove a point or whatever but then I’ll either surreptitiously or blatantly wipe my lips off after.

My beloved sundrop knows I’m aro and, pretty early on in our qpr, asked what I’m comfortable with in regards to kissing, and after trying to explain verbally what I just outlined in writing they just simplified everything and said they’d follow my lead and let me initiate as I would. And that took SO MUCH pressure off!!

Let me explain: in literally every other relationship I’ve had, kissing was an expectation. Whether they were purely sexual or romantic, every single one of my partners just assumed we’d be locking lips eventually, if not constantly. (The sexual context made kissing more bearable, meaning that’s really the only time I enjoyed myself.) Making out for the sake of making out was more a duty or a performance than anything I did because I wanted to; I wasn’t initiating anything, I was simply fulfilling the expectation of my role. So to have all that pressure, that specific expectation removed entirely? For it to be left up to me and my comfort levels? I don’t think I can adequately describe the relief it gave me to someone who hasn’t experienced that before.

That initial conversation was months ago. Last fucking year, if I’m remembering right. And now I actively enjoy making out for the sake of it! It is so fucking weird, honestly, but like a nice kind of weird - the kind you get used to, eventually.

Anyway. Moral of the story, if you’re in a relationship and you wanna kiss your partner, ask what they’re comfortable with first. Different comfort levels? Do NOT for the love of FUCK pressure them, let them take things at their pace and to their comfort levels because pushing someone to do shit before they’re ready to is how you fuck a person UP. And it kinda pisses me off that it took me until my 20s to find someone who loves me unconditionally enough to work and live with me as I am.

[knifearo]

like it's honestly kind of ridiculous at this point

[svenghouly]

gideon trauma dumping on palamades equivalent to drunkenly unleashing your relationship drama on a nice but mildly demented old lady on the subway. 2 strangers each with their own instability unconditionally supporting one another

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked

[tonyglowheart]

one of my favorite but also again alas relatively rare flavor of fic is where actually, it turns out Q is the well-adjusted one (well, as well-adjusted as anyone working at MI6 can be), and Bond is the manic pixie disaster nightmare

[cator99]

out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?

used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

[canisalbus]

Role-reversal AU where Machete opens a library on Florence and slowly becomes a very influencial local political figure, while Vasco's parents become fed-up with his "lifestyle" and send him away to the clergy (he probably has a brother in this AU, to make their decision more believable)

They reconnect in a similar way to the original, but their relationship is much more tragic as Vasco became self-hating and thinks he corrupted/doomed Machete in their youth and meanwhile, this Machete is trying to protect him from the corrupted side of the Church and possible assassination plot, that he's too indoctrinated to see happening around him

A interesting ending for this AU should be that Machete still dies, but results in Vasco finally running away from the clergy/inquisition (not sure if Vasco joins the inquisition or not, you can decide) and hiding in the country-side. Where he grows old dedicating various paintings and poems to Machete and possibly taking care of some noble's horses for a living

.

[theokusgallery]

Actually. Thinking about it because of my last reblog, but to people who get into romantic relationships (including demiro people and such): why do people make it so awkward when an unrequited crush happens?

I've seen people end really strong friendships over the other person having feelings, but if that happened to me I feel like I'd just... be flattered? And take it as a sign that the person really likes me, and be glad? Crushes are just a form of affection, isn't it kind of the same thing as a friend telling you "I really like you as a person"?

If you wanted a relationship with them, it means you like them a lot, but just because they don't return it, you... leave?? Even though you felt that close to them?? Can people not just enjoy the feeling of having a crush and treat it as a casual thing that's just there? Why is it such a big deal. Having a crush is a pretty pleasant feeling from what people say. Just enjoy the feeling. What's the problem here

[ukulelegodparent]

Just went to uni and instead of doing anything spent 3h agonising about ending my relationship. I'm sure this is good and normal

[jelliebeanbitch]

hey why do we always draw caitlyn so that she looks skinny as fuck? like ridiculously skinny? like no internal organs skinny? yes i know she’s skinny in the show but that’s never stopped tumblr fanartists before!! i feel like it’s getting more and more exaggerated to the point of feeling weird and beauty-standard-y and unrealistic. we know that vi would kiss a caitlyn with a little bit (or a lot) of tummy !!!!

[verdantglow]

Hiiii, hellooooo, I saw your Homestuck au and I love it. Love your art !!! I wanna eat everysingle one of them they are so-

Ok so, I had a few questions if you don't mind like, how did Scar and Grian met? Like- how they become moirals? Aaaand what would be the quadrants between Mumbo, Scar and Grian

Aaah hi! & thank you so much! (I’ve never had someone say they wanted to eat my art, that’s such a high compliment, omg…)

So Scar & Griann. They met while playing the VR version of Flarp around mid adolescence!

Actually, the VR edition of Flarp is how all the various groups of characters know each other. When they were around 7-8 sweeps old, they all signed up for & played a VR Flarp called Third Life. After the campaign ended, they stayed in touch & over the years they’ve played four more campaigns over VR, occasionally adding in more players. (This is very odd for Flarpers & really just for trolls in general. Maintaining relationships outside of your quadrants once you’re an adult & off planet is exceedingly rare, but this group is now around 12-14 sweeps & just finished playing the Secret Life module together.) (…There might be something to be said about the complex shipping chart that has developed holding them together in some ways.) (But mostly they’re just all friends, for whatever shade & value of friendship is possible as an adult troll.)

Anyway! Back to Scar & Griann! Griann ‘accidentally’ (no one is sure how accurate that word is) led to Scar’s first death in the Third Life campaign. We can guess that either Griann really thought Scar wouldn’t die or he just is piss poor at thinking things through, ‘cause killing a sea dweller, even in a game, when you were not supposed to… Well let’s just say that Griann vowed his first life to Scar & Scar, whether by dint of being the friendliest sea dweller you’ve ever met or because he was genuinely placated by the vow, didn’t pursue revenge IRL as he was entitled to by troll custom.

(It’s important to remember here that 1. Griann is a mutant candy red blood & 2. everyone was around the age where blood colour starts showing in your eyes, making it harder to hide your hemostatus. Given Griann wasn’t a full adult, so there was just a tint of red to his irises, during the Third Life campaign most of them assumed Griann was a rustblood. & a such a low blood killing fucking royalty out of turn, frankly most of them were pretty damn shocked that Scar accepted the vow instead of killing Griann on the spot, at least in game. It was very much a defining moment for everyone’s thoughts of Scar.)

So Griann & Scar teamed up & feelings… happened. Most of the rest of the crew saw their relationship as a somewhat forced moiraillegence, Griann placating Scar for his own safety as well as that of others while voicing his desire to leave the partnership to almost anyone who’d listen. By the end of the campaign, the forced part fell off people’s estimations, as Grian obviously became closer & closer to Scar. But it still seemed like a pretty cut & dry moiraillegence, albeit a kinda dysfunctional one, given how much death & destruction Scar still enacted on everyone.

When they were asked about their fresh moiraillegence after the campaign, they both just kinda smiled & nodded, trying not to think about all the confusing vacillating make outs that happened on Monopoly Mountain. & they’ve been living in ??? ever since.

Now, Mummbo Jummbo. My favorite jade blood. (My only jade blood lol.) He & Griann have known each other since they were grubs & have always been pretty much inseparable, despite Mummbo not picking up VR Flarp until the group’s second campaign.

No one knows what the heck is going on between Griann & Mummbo. They are utterly, helplessly devoted to each other in a way that everyone speculates whether they flushed or maybe ashen or ??? Like. Scar & Griann, while they keep up the image of them being moirails, anyone who really knows them can see quadrant vacillation clear as day. That’s not too out of the ordinary. But Mummbo & Griann? Extremely odd by troll standards, particularly adult troll standards. They seem to swing between pity friends & hate friends, as many troll friends do; they just do it at an intensity & velocity that most trolls find baffling outside of quadrants.

(The truth is Mummbo’s quadrants are completely empty & he prefers it that way. Aroace king right here. If you ask if, he’ll just say that quadrants are too much fuss & confusion for him. Though it is worth noting that Mummbo’s main point of reference for what quadrants look like for a long time was whatever the fuck Griann & Scar have going on, which, is, uh, not particularly stable & frequently somewhat unhealthy. Love them though.)

Mummbo & Scar become good pity friends after being introduced by Griann post-Third Life campaign, though they also have their hate friend days. Heck there have even been a few times that others have suspected Mummbo was pitch flirting with Scar (like during the Secret Life campaign when Mummbo said, rather loudly, in public, something to the effect of ‘get good.’). But really it’s a case of the hate friendship aspect of their relationship flaring & Mummbo being utterly clueless to flirting of any kind, even when he seemingly is the one doing it.

[mynameisakissi]

[icharchivist]

Wait fr

Netflix is turning gay lovers into brothers??? And they claim we have low media literacy

What ass backwards kind of choice is that to make in 2024 I am baffled

Poor Oscar Wilde truly

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Chapter 9

imagine reading that and thinking "ah yes Basil and Dorian should totally be siblings." The fucking galls.

Oscar Wilde was put on trial for "indecency", aka homosexuality, when he was caught with a male lover a few years after the publication of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The book was literally used as a proof against him, as a proof for the "crimes" he was accused of. Oscar Wilde was condemned to forced work that made him incredibly weak and he died a couple years later out of complication from the pain he endured while incarcerated.

Like, there's a lot of levels to the homophobia here. Yes, media literacy is low. But so is history literacy. So is an understanding of Wilde's life. so is the respect for the writer who's book was used to condemn him to die because of his homosexuality. (well, possible bisexuality since he was married to a woman, but it's not like we have a proper denomination about Wilde's sexuality, especially at a time being anything other than straight was condemned by the law).

This is genuinely so upsetting to me lmao like Wilde wasn't tried for homosexuality using this book as proof for you to make two of the characters that imply that to be BROTHERS.

[muninnhuginn]

This is probably my favourite panel in the last few chapters of Rebirth tbh (yes, including the time/mirror aesthetics) just because of the impact.

You know that comic with the crows where one asks the other if they think they're friends in another universe and then you zoom out and see all these other timelines where they're always a part of each other's life? It's the complete opposite of that. So many different timelines and not a single one where his mother loved him.