#so. yeah i guess this is my way of saying there probably wont be much sans art for a while

[elliebell77]

sorry i havent been posting i think im burnt out rn

[todayisafridaynight]

@ father time can we run it back to june so i can make a joke really quick

[st4rgiirll]

secret admirer

s2!rafe cameron x perv!stalker!pogue!reader

creds to: roseraris for dividers!

warnings: underwear stealing, piv, unprotected sex, watching rafe jerk off (mention), fingering, face slapping, pussy slapping (hand and dick), teasing, blowjob, cum eating.

𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗦 𝟭𝟴+ 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧, 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗕𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗬! 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

you sat in a tree, hidden by the leaves and branches, peering into rafe's bedroom. it was like clockwork; every night at 9:00 pm, rafe would undress for his shower after working out, seemingly oblivious to the world around him.

your heart raced as you watched rafe peel off his shirt, revealing a taut set of abs that practically glistened in the low light. they were so close they could almost taste the salt on his skin.

this had become an addiction for you.

you couldn't help yourself; ever since you'd laid eyes on rafe cameron knew you had to have him. you watched him day after day, heat pooling in your panties as you did, sometimes when he was gone you’d steal a pair of his boxers. for safe keeping.

sometimes, on the off chance, you’d end up staying long enough to watch as he jerked off. you couldnt hear him through the window, but god you wished you could. his faces were just picturesque, it made your clit throb.

when he headed into the bathroom, thats when you striked. you opened his window, crawling in and immediately heading to his dirty laundry. your found them, his boxers. you took them from his pile and undone your backpack.

the bathroom door swung open, and you were mortified. half his boxers already in your bag, you looked up at him.

his eyes caught yours, and you were now bright red

“what the fuck?” rafe questioned, a bit creeped out but he couldnt help the way his shorts tightened.

“i- uh- i can explain-!” you stammer.

“what? that you were being a little perv? stealing my fucking underwear?” he huffs.

you looked down and your eyes didnt leave the floor when you stood up from your kneeling position, you couldnt bare to face him.

“so, why the fuck are you stealing my underwear, pogue? like a little perv.”

“w-well… i-i just- uhm..” you were so embarrassed.

“i-i-i,” he pouted mockingly. “god, you’re pathetic.”

you stayed silent, what were you supposed to say? ‘oh yeah i find you hot and want to get bent over and fucked brutally by you but i know i cant have you’ absolutely not.

“what? you cant find a guy to fuck you good so you gotta resort to stealin’ my boxers now?” he rolled his eyes at your lack of response.

“what about your little pogue boyfriends? huh? jj, john b? they not like you anymore? hm, probably not. too much of a whore for them, right?”

”i-im sorry, i-im so s-sorry rafe..” you apologize profusely, your eyes brimming with tears. “p-please, it was a mistake! i-i’ll return them all, i promise, just dont tell anyone!”

“i should,” he hums. “i really should. but i wont.”

“really?” you ask, hope blooming in your chest.

“yeah, i guess… for a price, of course.” he smirks, the smirk that tells you he’s up to no good.

there it was, the kicker. you knew you’d regret this but you couldnt have anyone know about this, especially the other pogues.

and that’s how you found yourself on his bed, his fingers plunging in and out of your cunt. you were a moaning mess, the force behind his fingers was brutal, bordering painful.

“f-fuck rafe!” you moan.

“yeah? you like that? ‘course you do, dirty whore.” he degrades, pulling his fingers from your dripping cunt.

he sucks on his fingers, humming at the sweet taste before grabbing ahold of your ankles and pulling you to the edge of the bed. he raises his hand and leaves a sharp slap on your pussy, making you squeak from pleasure, pain, and surprise.

“that’s what you get for being a dirty whore, for stealin’ my underwear.” he grunts, landing another smack to your pussy.

you writhe under the force, legs instinctively closing. his hands forcefully push your legs back open.

“don’t make me tie these pretty legs open.” he growls, his tone aggressive. “what do you do with my boxers, hm? wear ‘em? sniff ‘em? wouldnt put it past you.”

another smack.

“i asked you a fucking question, pogue.” he spat.

“i-i wear them…” you whine. “t-to bed, sometimes i’ll wear them… while i rub my pussy…”

“oh, baby…” he groans, his head lolling back as if he got pleasure from your words.

“get up.” he snaps, pulling you up.

“on your knees.” he sits on his bed, you kneel between his legs.

you open your mouth wide, eager for his cock. you’d dreamed about this so much, it made you so wet.

“you really want this huh?” he chuckles, tapping his cock on your tongue.

you wrap your lips around his length, practically salivating at the feel and weight. you hum, taking him deep in your throat before gagging and pulling off.

he growls, grabbing your hair and pistoning his hips forward. his tip bullys the back of your throat, making you gag each time it hit. you were gagging, but you loved it, being used by him. saliva seeped from the corners of your mouth, dripping onto your tits.

“oh f-fuuuck… just like that baby, oh fuck… im cumming…” he moans, his thrusts becoming sloppy.

it wasnt long before his hips stuttered and you felt his warm cum paint your oesophagus before he pulled out, you swallowed it and opened your mouth wide, showing him proof that you swallowed.

“good girl.” he hums, slapping your face a couple times before lifting you up onto the bed once more.

he strokes his cock a couple times to harden it again, before he’s guiding it down to your pussy. he rubs it up and down your slit, swirling the tip around your clit as you moaned pathetically.

he slaps his cock onto your clit a couple times, watching as your body jerked, before he slipped his cock in. he didnt let you adjust before he was pounding the soul out of you.

“o-oh yeah, fuck baby… pussy so tight…” he grunts, pounding your poor cunt into oblivion.

“rafe! oh god, t-thank you, thank you rafe.” you babble. “so good, so so so good.”

“yeah? so good? of course it is baby, you got rafe’s cock in you. pounding your little cunt, you hear her?” he hums, letting you hear the crude squelching of your arousal.

“yeah, she loves this cock, doesnt she?” all you could do was nod pathetically.

the bed repeatedly hit the wall, in time with his thrusts, he didnt seem to care. muttering something like ‘let everyone hear how good rafe treats you’ and god it made your pussy clench around him.

“fuuuck, do that again..” he moans, his hand pulling your legs up to rest on his shoulders as he drilled into you.

you were so fucking close, your pussy was spasming around his cock. “ray.. fuck ray, i-im gonna…”

“use your words, pretty.” he says softly, kissing from your ankle down to your mid calf and back again.

“‘m gonna cum…” you moan, the sound high-pitched.

“oh yeah? my pussy’s gonna cum all over my cock, is she? yeah, she is baby.” he smirks, reaching between you as he thrusts into your pussy and he rubs your clit.

that’s all it took for your release to engulf you, letting out a loud, scream-like moan as you came. his own hips stuttered and he released his seed deep in your cunt, you swear you felt it hit your cervix.

without wasting any time, he picks your panties from the floor and puts them back on you to let you sit in a pool of your shared cum.

“let this be a lesson, dont perv over me princess. i wont be as kind next time.” he smirks.

he slaps your panty-covered pussy, hearing the lewd squelch of your mixed release. he then walks into his bathroom to have his shower, like originally planned.

[viktor-leagueoflegends]

I adore this account, I have notifications for when you post, Riot literally took league Viktor to the back of the farm AND SHOT HIM and brought out a new puppy and said it was an improvement. And said it was canon (fr). What my ass isn't getting it how the fuck is Arcane canon if Ambessa and Heimerdinger ARE DEAD. from what I saw, THEY'RE DEAD??? SO AM I MISSING SOMETHING OR WHAT? Or is it some bullshit where the ingame versions are before they died, which I think is big bullshit. And if they're making Arcane canon they should make the Arcane skins free BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE THEY LIKE MONEY. Where are the other piltover/ Zaun champs? They don't have another season to show them so?? Anyway, I love league Viktor. I love him so much fr!!! And I was introduced to the greater league lore by watching Arcane and prefer league Viktor!! Hexcore story so bullshit. <3 THE VOID? CRAZY WHY WOULD THEY INCLUDE THAT IN LIKE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A VERY INTERCONNECTED STORY WITH PILTOVER AND ZAUN. I'm rambling I took like 4 shots, LOVE BLOG LOVE YOU UR SO COOL!!!! Fav blog rn <3<3

First of all I'm so sorry this took a billion morbillion years to answer, idk even what to say about that it was just My Bad.

Anyhow, it really is just such a dogshit decision to have Arcane be canon, all the way down. It's more work for Riot that they clearly don't have the resources to commit to, it doesn't contribute to a healthy lore-state, it pisses off existing fans, and Arcane fans won't even care because they already have Arcane itself! Like why would an Arcane fan give a shit about navigating to the league game lore to read Viktor's new bio, which is just a shitty summary of what happens in Arcane, when they can just, y'know, watch Arcane? And yeah it throws some major wrenches in the works, not just wrt Ambessa and Heimer like you mentioned, but also, Viktor as Herald of the Arcane is only actually Herald of the Arcane for like, an afternoon. Lol. Plus Cait isn't sheriff, etc. So I supposed they're going with this 0 timeline game-state where any character may be pulled from any point in their timeline which! Is fine, I Guess. But they really did Not have to do all that. and stupid to change it to given that (afaik) the current lore was mostly timeline-stable save for like. viego. who is Alive but in cryo or whatever

Probably the thing I think is the most bullshit is the way they claim this lore merger + the VGU's to bring featured champions to arcane canon was The Plan All Along -- which, no the fuck it wasn't? I forget where but some rioter said some shit about how Cait's ASU when Arcane s1 dropped was meant to do this and -- no it wasn't? no the fuck it wasn't? she wasn't even purple. she's not even a sheriff. Her ASU is clearly meant to honour her in-game state and you can't cite her as a reason for why Viktor gets the great Honour of being deleted.

Anyhow. Glad you're here, it makes me really happy to see people enjoy league viktor :] That's really all I wanted to achieve with this archive, so thank you!

[peachhcs]

We need a part two to the Emma and Gabe angst nowww

sooo many people asked for a part 2 so here it is!!! my beloveds ❤️❤️ as u can tell they don’t stay “mad” at one another for long and make up almost immediately or at least figure out what the issue is

(also tell me how my inbox went from 77 to 122 HAHA is that telling to how full my inbox has been and how i’m trying to get through requests. thanks for bearing with me 🙏)

(also also this is lowkey short i’m so sorry 😭 for that)

au masterlist | part 1

when emma never called gabe he went to go check on her. it was probably close to 11pm as he gave a gentle knock to her door and hoped she wasn’t asleep already. considering how late she stayed up in the library, gabe knew she couldn’t have been asleep just yet.

the door finally cracked open and he saw her familiar blonde hair peaking through, “gabe?”

“hi,” he smiled.

“what are you doing here?” she grew confused as to why her boyfriend was standing outside of her dorm so late.

“you never called me, so i wanted to make sure you were okay,” the hockey player said and for a moment, emma’s expression softened hearing him say that.

she opened the door wider, “oh. well, i’m okay. sorry, i didn’t call. i got tired. i guess,” which wasn’t a complete lie. emma did get tired once she got back to her room and she just didn’t know if she could make it back outside after the long day. she was also just trying to process everything and the way she was feeling earlier.

“it’s okay. is everything okay?” the taller boy wondered and emma hated how concerned he looked for her. his head was tilted and he stared down at her and fuck, if that look didn’t want to make her just break down right in front of him.

she wasn’t going to do that though because that would be majorly embarrassing.

“yeah, ‘m fine,” the blonde nodded. unfortunately, gabe saw right through her.

“i know you’re lying. i know you didn’t want to get dinner with me for a reason,” he said not mad or anything, but simply just pointing it out. emma bit her bottom lip and struggled to find the right words.

“you know you can talk to me, right? i promise i won’t judge you or think it’a stupid. was it about today? were the guys too much? they can get like that when we watch any type of sport,” gabe rolled his eyes a bit which finally made emma crack a smile.

“no, no. it wasn’t..it’s like..i dunno. you might think it’s stupid..” the girl’s voice became small and embarrassed that she was even feeling this way earlier now that her boyfriend was making her tell him.

“i just told you i wont think it’s stupid. i wanna know what’s wrong,” the dark-haired boy urged. emma’s gaze locked with the ground as she tried finding the right words.

“i guess it was just the whole game just like..i dunno. i didn’t really know what was going on and then like..you all have known samy for years and i haven’t and like..she seems so cool and popular..and like..” her sentences jumbled together into basically nonsense, but gabe somehow still understood.

“wait, wait..do you think i like samy? you know she’s dating will right and they’re like super in love with one another?” gabe asked and emma grew embarrassed for the second time.

“no i know i just..i don’t really know. i told you it was stupid,” she shook her head but gave cupped her face in his hands.

“it’s not stupid, em, i promise. i know it can be weird and scary to get thrown into a friend group so fast like that. i should’ve not done that and i’m sorry. i never meant for you to feel excluded. i just wanted you to meet everyone more and hang out with us,” gabe began softly. “i promise they love you. they’re just really..rambunctious at times and maybe soccer shouldn’t have been the first thing we all did together.”

they shared a laugh.

“as for samy, i like you. you’re the one i’m dating. she’s a longtime best friend of all of us, but her and will are like in love. although, i can see your concerns because we are all pretty close, but i promise, she is just a sister to me. nothing more, ever. you’re the one i asked to help me with my econ homework,” he made her laugh again and emma blushed thinking back to that day in french class that started this whole thing.

“sorry i got all weird. your friends seem really, really cool. i guess i’ve just never had friends that were so close before like that. samy does seem really cool and i hope i can talk to her more,” emma nodded with a small smile.

“hey, don’t apologize. your feelings are valid, okay? i’m always here to talk and help you out. you’ll warm up to everyone the more you hang out with them. plus, we can always start small and then get bigger so it doesn’t overwhelm you as much. they can be a lot all together,” gabe mumbled.

“thanks, p. i did have fun today. you were right about samy being really good,” emma chuckled as she let her boyfriend further into her room so they weren’t in the doorway anymore. he grinned.

“she is amazing and i am glad you came along,” the hockey player kissed her forehead. emma melted into his touch, the anxieties she had earlier slowly melting away the longer she held onto him.

despite it being 11:30, gabe and emma got themselves comfortable in her bed to watch a movie. she snuggled in close to him to listen to his steady heartbeat against his chest to calm her even more. he helped ground her for the night while they lost themselves in the movie and each other.

[pabit]

[corrupted footage]

OH WOW. THESE COOKIES REALLY ARE FUCKING AWESOME. WELL DONE, COWBOY!

Haha, thank you thank you. I’m hoping this can cheer you up a little…you’ve had quite an emotional day.

EMOTIONAL? I'M NOT EMOTIONAL.

Really…? Sorry sweetheart, but I’ve read back on your posts from earlier today and…it seems to me like you’re full of those stinkin’ feelings, actually! 

YEAH, NO FUCKING DUH. I SAID I'M NOT “E-MO-TION-ALLL”…YA DIG? I DON'T WAIL LIKE A WENCH AT EVERY LITTLE INCONVENIENCE. BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY I HAVE ZERO CAPACITY FOR “FEELINGS” EITHER. IT'S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. SO DONT PISS ME OFF.

Oh fine. Let’s get serious then.

What about other feelings? In your story about Vinny, you said you had felt something there but couldn’t figure out what.

(HABIT swallows the rest of the food in his mouth and pauses his vigorous feasting to stare down into the cookie plate)

…FUCK. WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE, PATRICK. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO CHEER UP…THIS TOPIC WON'T BE CONDUCIVE TO THAT END.

I am sincerely trying to help you, Habs, that's my angle. The fact is, I can cheer you up with small gestures that will certainly make you feel good for the moment, but you wont feel any better overall by refusing to talk about the shit that's dragging you down. 

…UGH. I GUESS YOU ARE RIGHT, BUT… VINNY IS DEAD – NONE OF THOSE FEELINGS FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE, PAT. THEY PROBABLY NEVER DID. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?

Ah. That’s the part that haunts you isn’t it; the “probably” of it all. You’re uncertain, still confused about what happened here – what went wrong. And most importantly, you want to know why.

Am I correct?

……

Hm. 

………………….

Not going to answer me? Fine, fuck it. This is how I see it:

You became attached to this guy like ya never could with anyone else in the whole fuckin universe, Habit. And it felt so good to do so. You let yourself become lost in a fantasy; anticipating the thrill of having Vinny fumble over himself to keep you interested. Or how grateful he would be, to be the one entrusted with building you back up after every great fall; and you fall hard and often. You could crush him utterly and have him back in the next life. Vinny is much smarter and much stronger than he looks, and just as obsessive in his own ways…so he’d climb out of the rubble and do it all over again, just because he can; just because he wants to.

Oh yes…you and him would have grown so much stronger together, enough to take on the whole damn planet someday if you guys really tried. And you wanted that so badly. A monster-man and a man-made monster, gleefully kicking up the dust of all the world’s ashes, readying it for her new rulers: Vinny and the Habit, side by side, hand in hand, blood on blood.

It was a wonderfully childish ideal to believe in all that though, wasn't it? Even after all you’ve done for him, Vin betrayed you; taking all of those unspoken dreams and unfulfilled desires along with him as he dies to a fucking papercut.

So much time spent with him…now made completely pointless. So many pieces of your mind, heart, and body gifted to him, just to carelessly toss you to the curb when you weren’t looking…

It’s easier on a broken heart to deny that it’s broken in the first place. It's easier to fall in line when the numbness takes hold, and mindlessly insist that none of it matters; never did, never will. There's no reason to cry over spilled milk as they say. It's no big deal. It’s all just part of the game. Vinny was meant to be nothing more than a pawn on your board anyways. But he was indeed more than just that to you, wasn’t he?

Vin softened you and left you exposed to a world that won’t ever accept what you'll become even after he is gone; and he won’t be coming back, not this time. You and him made sure of it by bringing those awful weapons to life on that chilly fall evening before the end of the world. Your last full day together; where everything else in the universe ceased to exist beyond the confines perpetuated by two desolate dreamers; a warm fire at his legs; the melody of ghosts crowding around, crying out towards the inky sky above; beautiful and tragic all the same. You must have seen that in him, too.

After the end of it all, you got out alive and he did not. You didn’t win the game nor Vinny’s companionship, but you survived…and just barely.

Vinny is dead. 

And when that harsh reality slaps you across the face, you know you will never be allowed to forget the price you’ve paid, with suffering and with fire, for the loyalty that Vin never actually intended to give you. Now you’re covered with those scars. Razor sharp claws have sunk themselves deeply into you and won't let go. However…to whom do these claw marks belong to? Vinny; for betraying your trust and destroying your dreams? Or yourself; for letting him do it so easily…?

Why did you go back to your old sinking vessel, Habit?

Were you really so tempted by the belief that not taking Evan’s corpse would otherwise be wasteful? A shame?

Were you inspired by the discolored splotches painting decaying flesh in dull greys and blues; admiring the texture of his flesh canvas, well-weathered by the rain and the hungry mouths of all the tiny critters that feast happily upon each wrinkle?

Did the overwhelming smell of iron from all that ghastly bloodspill soaking into the ground below, brought up in the wafts of wet earth and wild mountain grasses, bring a wistful tear to your eye? 

Was Evan really worth all of that to you…?

…

No.

You weren’t there for Evan at all, I think. He was more of an afterthought if anything. It was Vinny you wanted to see though. And I believe that’s why you made the impulsive decision to repossess his friend’s body; it was the only way to be there at Vin’s side and feel him next to you, just one last time.

Then you ran away to avoid the consequences.

...........................................................................

>>

[gleefultogo]

Ok! So finally page 869 have released. longest wait of my life because I really wanted to rant? or whatever about this page. There are just several things wrong with it. so starting off, Feaf's mother ends up visiting her and rhov at asmundr territory and feaf is telling her mother that oh she feels sick and has been getting these weird symptoms on and off. so then the mother tells feaf that she's probably pregnant. rohv and feaf are in shock (for like a mere second), anyways then her mother is like we you should put aside the differences of canine and felines and tells her it probably was the golden lioness because she's been fighting for their species for peaceful "coexistent". Again, in my honest opinion this whole species "racism" thing was like another 180 slapped into the comic, there was no indication in earlier pages that canines and felines were struggling to accept one another. since feaf was part of an all guild dog group minus herself being the only feline and cause Axi is the biggest ass. but maybe we could of given hints that she disliked feaf or something from the beginning or saw her as lower class compared to a dog. it would of at least shown the readers that "oh yeah these dogs are racists btw" because the main focus for the longest time was the ghouls and MT which for one the ghouls are pointless and are the most non threatening thing on aedra and but was so important too basically rent land to burn bodies on MT land when they also knew about their past brutal ways. but sat on their butts and shrugged shoulders about it. Moving on... so then feaf mother tells her that if she doesn't want to have the kids, she can take herbs to pretty much terminate the pregnancy. you can take that how you want since it's referring to abortion. and well, in my honest opinion I kinda wish she did take the herbs only because it would save injustice for her future kids but also rhov and feaf barely know each other. but kique is an idiot and no longer has purpose for rhov and forgot about going back to ronja. she then claims that she's "dreamed" of always wanting to start a family with rohv? like feaf what?? when? you two only officially hooked up together from gaslighting each other, then rhov chimes in and says it is a bit sudden (because it is) but says he's ready if she is. I wanna point out that feaf's mom reaction is so emotionless and she's just chill about like its been a common thing. but it's really not, if anything this is history in the making and the reactions are so poorly done by the entirety of the page. creating a potential new spices of hybrids. which spoiler alert, no hybrids, kique claimed and is so damn lazy. but the offspring will most likely be a mix of pups and cubs I guess apparently drawing hybrids will be too hard to trace off of or something. though if he willing to he could get creative with it, plus there was a cat mixed with dog hybrid back in asmundr shown or I think mentioned. he wont draw hybrids but is adding bears in his new comic, doesn't make sense too me but alright. another thing, you all remember when rogio went to the elk spirit to cure his pretend trauma?. I am mentioning this because she's her own spirit. but she gave rogio the opportunity to speak with her personally instead of just getting thrown into the void land or something. I dont what that was called. but if rogio was allowed to speak to him, why couldn't the golden lioness talk to feaf and i dont know ask her permission to impregante her? would of made her look less of an asshole. welp unfortunately this keeps getting worse as newer pages come out.

[peleksstuff]

high on you l. l timothée chalamet x waitress!reader

*gifs not mine*

yes this would be a series. might be another series of mine that i wont finish. (again a lil bit of chatgpt to correct my grammar)

summary: a waitress caught timothée at the backroom of the diner doing something.

----

It was a chilly Tuesday night when Timothée Chalamet found himself in the back room of a small, dimly lit diner. He’d been feeling the weight of the world more than usual lately, and the crumpled baggie in his pocket was the only thing that seemed to provide any temporary relief. He had thought the diner, being relatively quiet, would be a safe place to indulge in his habit.

He was mistaken.

You, a waitress working the late shift, had just finished wiping down the counters when you heard the shuffling and murmur of voices coming from the back room. Curious, you walked over to investigate. What you saw stopped you in your tracks. There was Timothée Chalamet, crouched behind a stack of empty crates, looking frazzled and vulnerable.

You blinked, your initial shock quickly fading into a mix of concern and disbelief.

“Seriously?” you said, leaning against the doorframe with a raised eyebrow. “This is what you’re up to behind the scenes?”

Timothée head snapped up, and his eyes widened with a mix of panic and shame. He scrambled to his feet, his hand fumbling as he tried to stuff the crumpled baggie into his pocket.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean for anyone to see—”

You held up a hand to stop him. “You think I’m going to make a big deal out of this? Relax. I’ve seen worse. Just… don’t overdose in the restaurant, okay?”

His surprise was palpable. For a moment, he just stared at you, his mind racing. “You’re… not going to report me?”

“Why would I?” you shrugged, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. “I’ve got enough to deal with without adding a celebrity scandal to my list.”

He chuckled, the sound awkward and uncertain. “You’ve got a point there.”

He paused, glancing toward the door as if considering whether he should just leave and cut his losses. But something in the quietness of the room, the way you didn’t immediately judge him, made him hesitate. The idea of walking back out into the cold night, alone with his thoughts, suddenly felt daunting. Maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to be alone right now.

“Mind if I stick around for a bit?” Timothée asked, his voice quieter now, almost tentative. “It’s been a rough night, and honestly… talking to someone who doesn’t expect anything from me sounds kind of nice.”

You blinked in surprise, not quite believing what you were hearing. Timothée Chalamet, the famous actor, the guy who could probably call up any of his friends and be surrounded by people, was asking to stay and talk to you? It seemed almost surreal.

“Wait,” you said, trying to wrap your head around the situation. “You’re saying you want to talk to me? Just hang out… here?”

Timothée gave a small, self-deprecating smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I guess I am. I know it’s random, but…” He shrugged, letting his words trail off.

You couldn’t help the thought that flashed through your mind: You’re that lonely, huh? It wasn’t said out of malice, but rather a genuine curiosity mixed with a bit of sympathy. You’d never really considered that someone like him, with so much fame and success, could feel lonely enough to seek out company in a  diner with a stranger.

But you didn’t say it out loud. Instead, you gave him a soft smile, gesturing to the seat across from you.

“Well, I’m not exactly busy, so if you want to talk, I’m all ears.”

Timothée seemed almost relieved, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he sat down.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. “I know it’s weird, but sometimes, it’s nice to just… be around someone who doesn’t know everything about you. Or at least, doesn’t act like they do.”

You nodded, leaning back in your chair. “I get that. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk to a stranger. No expectations, no pretense.”

He smiled, a genuine one this time, and you noticed how it lit up his face, making him look a little less weary. “Exactly.”

“So,” you began, deciding to lighten the mood a bit, “do you always sneak around in diners when you’re having a rough night, or is this a new hobby?

He laughed, the sound genuine and warm. “No, this is definitely a first. I don’t usually do… well, this.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in your eyes. “You mean getting caught by waitresses in the middle of questionable activities?”

He grinned, shaking his head. “Yeah, not my finest moment.”

You both shared a laugh, the tension in the room easing as the conversation continued. As you talked, you couldn’t help but think how strange it was—this unexpected encounter, this moment of connection with someone so different from yourself. But as the minutes passed, it felt less strange and more… right.

Maybe Timothée was lonely, maybe he just needed someone to listen, but whatever the reason, you were glad you could be there. And as the night wore on, you realized that maybe you needed this moment just as much as he did. 

[speakofthedebbie]

ASK GAMES IN SESSION:

nothing to hide asks

personal asks

moots on anon (debs original; moots go on anon, say a few things about them [usually 3] and i have to guess who they are)

fic writers: directors cut

some things of varying importance (<- my fav colour btw)

came for one. singular. fucking. post by @elsa-fogen, stayed for the hazbin brainrot

names debbie (read about why here), nicknames are any variation that suits you

she/they (soft launching those prns cuz im not 100% sure. also might be a demigirl?? and here i thought i was safe from the gender questioning 😔 /lh)

after much deliberation (thx for your insight @lifea16 <3) im a femme-leaning biromantic and sex-indifferent quoisexual cuz i dont fucking know T-T

in a qpr with @lifea16 >:3

minor (not saying majors [literally why arent 18+ called that] cant interact, but watch yourself)

in regards to above: ♐ (december 14th) [have had 1 bday on tumblr]

no comm beggars/any asks relating to money. i am a minor, i cannot help you

#1 luci lover/defender

also #1 akito lover/defender (my little loser ginger <3)

started shipping radioapple as a joke but it becomes less of a joke each day (while i am now radioapple inclined, i am still a multishipper at heart)

priestess of @cali-and-chaos' radioapple cult (@manicali has deleted the blog but i will go on carrying out my duties as priestess and spread the word of radioapple far and wide)

almost certainly some flavour of neurodivergent

transphobes dont even look at this blog. me and my trans besties WILL beat you up and it WILL be embarrassing

same goes for racists, bigots and the like. do not test me

fandoms:

currently:

hazbin hotel (wow who wouldve thunk it)

project SEKAI: COLORFUL STAGE! (feat. hatsune miku) [i have finally gotten the game and i get why my friend loves it sm its great {other than the fact that my gacha pulls are absolutely ass} my high key crush on akito has only gotten stronger 😍]

helluva boss (somewhat)

namesake (they get linked cuz the chances of anybody who follows me knowing what it is are slim) [you prolly wont see much content about it {for now >:)} but i do really love it and warrick is my pookie]

previously:

mystreet (may return when s7 comes out)

hermitcraft (im way too behind to catch up now)

percy jackson & the olympians (left off on titans curse)

murder drones (now that its done might come back to)

the promised neverland (i still like it, but i finished the manga)

heathers: the musical (i debated moving it down here but i dont care for it much anymore lol. like i still like the musical, i still really like the songs, and will probably make it my mission to memorize the entire thing one day but its impact is fading man)

unique tags:

#debs is a yapper (i talk about shit. usually hazbin shit. intersects way too much with-)

#debs is a memer (i make memes. usually hellaverse memes. intersects way too much with #debs is a yapper.)

#debs is an artist (i make art occasionally. so far 100% hazbin art.)

#debs is a writer (i post my hellaverse fics. either wip snippets or links to the ao3 page. previously under #debs is an artist.)

#debs is a responder (i respond to the [semi!]rare ask or two [used to be #debs is an answerer but it sounded too weird lol])

#debs is an original poster (i make original posts. opposite of-)

#debs is a reblogger (i reblog usually hellaverse shit, which for my apprehensiveness about it at first has become [more than] half my blog. opposite of #debs is an original poster.)

#debbie's never ending rivalry with her own fucking brain (i wage psychological warfare against my own brain. no one wins.)

#"for your queueing has just begun~" (i queue posts.)

look at the top 10 posts yourself lol

individual follower shout-out (hasnt been updated in a WHILE mb chat)

oh yeah i got a sideblog lol (high school advice)

also luci-centric sideblog lol im so predictable

[captainimfangirling]

The Boys Season 4 Episode 7

I lied. I stayed up until 2 am waiting for this episode to stream but I'm actually surprised it was better than the last one.

Warning: Major Spoilers.

A-Train

I didn't like A-Train but know I do. Good for him for doing the right thing and becoming an actual super hero. Not sure if this will be a popular opinion or not but I don't think his deed is done. After he hides his family I think he should come back and finish the job with The Boys. They sure can use him. Also he shouldn't be running off after what he told M.M. because he would be a hypocrite.

Butcher

My gut feeling tells me Joe Kessler is going to take over after Butcher passed out. Like we thought Butcher was going to do the right thing at the end but sadly not when Kessler takes over. I think if he does take over Butcher Starlight will figure it out because she heard that name. Also what was the f*cking point of making him cheat on Becca?! I mean I didn't ship them or anything and I know he was a asshole and a drunk but still I feel like they added that so we start hating on Butcher. Is Butcher (or Kessler) going to do something really f*cked up? Like kill Ryan? I've always said Kessler is like the comic book Butcher influencing TV Butcher and he's probably going to kill Ryan like he did in the comic books.

Hughie & Starlight

Because of what happened to Hughie last episode the shapeshifter tricking him into having sex with "Starlight" made me very uncomfortable. I mean I get the show is supposed to be f*cked up but wow give the guy some time to breathe. I'm scared for Starlight and I hope they give Hughie a chance to save her. I think that's all he wanted to do last season because he couldn't save Robin. I don't think it was all about Starlight being stronger than him.

Kimiko & Frenchie

Yup like I said both of them have so much in common and can heal together. I love that we finally get a backstory of why Kimiko can't talk. She had to be silent as she killed other girls in order to live so she was never able to speak again. To be honest I don't get what the point was about Frenchie turning himself in. Are we supposed to see his as his redemption and all is forgiven because he did the right thing?

The Deep

To be honest I'm not surprised The Deep broke Ambrosius' tank and let her die. The Deep always used and abused women. He didn't change at all. He finally got a taste of his own medicine when he found out about Sage and this time it's the correct way (the wrong way was him getting sexually assaulted in season one). Anyway did anyone know Ambrosius was voiced by Tilda Swinton because I for as hell didn't.

Black Noir 2 & Sage

Black Noir 2 was hilarious in this episode. I wonder if The Boys are going to figure out that he's is a different supe because they saw him talk and fly. I mean they would've known about Earving condition from Mallory, right? I think they should start a rumor about Black Noir being replaced so conspiracy theories fan would believe it. I always knew Sage had a sexual relationship with Black Noir 2 but didn't think she was going to break his heart. My poor baby. I love how she didn't have to lobotomize herself to have sex with him like The Deep. I'm so mad at Homelander for firing her but it's probably for the best if you want her to be redeemed or work with The Boys. I think she really was going to help Homelander but when she realized he wont actually listen to her she doesn't give a damn about the plan anymore and will probably help The Boys if she's hasn't given up on anyone listening to her.

Homelander, Firecracker, and Ryan

I am so proud of Ryan but I am also scared for him. Yeah Homelander didn't mean it at all when he told Ryan he can do whatever he wants. Homelander only wants Ryan to listen to him. I think Ryan is finally understanding. I have a feeling there's going to be son and father argument and Ryan is going to say I thought you said I can do whatever the f*ck I want but I guess you didn't mean it. What was that notebook Sage put on the table? I hope it belongs to Firecracker and it exposes her. Like how she writes down her plans of manipulating Homelander and step one was the breast milk. I keep saying oh this or that is going to push Homelander over the edge but when the hell is that going to happen? Next season? Because I for sure thought Homelander was finally going to go crazy and act like a god he thinks he is after the bad room episode but the next episode he's drinking titty milk from Firecracker and the episode after that he's manipulated into firing Sage who actually had everything figured out for him.

Mother's Milk

You know what M.M. getting skinny actually makes sense. Maybe he wasn't eating right because of all the stress. I know the actor wanted to lose weight but they should've written it into the plot. Anyway I'm happy he tried to save his ex-wife and daughter but A-Train is right. They wont be safe until they stop Homelander. That's why I think A-Train will come back.

Victoria

I don't care for her to be honest. I thought she was more interesting and fun when I thought she was going to be just as ruthless as Homeladner. I think they're trying to make her sympathetic so we can compare her relationship with her daughter and Homelander's relationship with Ryan.

Ashley

I adore her and this is the first time I'm saying that. She's right that Vought turns people evil. I've always said this. I think all supes were like Starlight at one point even Homelander (watch the cartoon series and see) wanted to be a real hero but Vought messed them up very badly. She's just too scared to leave. I hope she does the right thing at the end.

[dnpbeats]

Do u think one of them has ever wanted to hard launch and the other one was like nah? I feel like they must have had that conversation at some point!

hmm. i mean yeah i'm certain they had the conversation. even in 2009 when they were really open about things, they never actually explicitly said they were together (i mean obvs everyone could guess and i don't think they cared, but like they must have made the decision to have a sliver of plausible deniability left*). and then i'm sure they continued to have many conversations about it, it's not really a one and done type of convo espc with their careers

i'd say, do i think one of them has wanted to hard launch when the other hasn't? no. do i think one of them would have been neutral about hard launching when the other hasn't? honestly... also no. like we all know why dan didn't want to come out (generally and also in terms of his and phil's relationship, "what me and phil had was ours and personal and yet some people were trying to get access to it for their own satisfaction"). we also know that phil is super private (from dan, from phil himself, and just from observation). i think phil didn't (doesn't?) want to hard launch not bc of the gay relationship aspect but because of the "it's my personal life and 4 million people don't need to know about it" aspect. so yeah honestly from what i've seen and what they've said i feel like they've probably been on pretty much the same page about coming out? but ofc at the end of the day i only see what they present to us, so i could be totally way off base

*making this a footnote bc this is off topic but i just remembered phil's story about getting outed to his friends back home bc of the dating website. and then ofc dan's issue of not being out to his family/college friends. so i wonder if they in 2009 were fine with flirting online bc they didnt care if like random ppl on dailybooth and twitter knew they were together, but if anyone who knew them irl saw and like tried to out dan to his parents or some shit (as some ppl are wont to do), he could do some handwaving to explain it away :( like ok now i'm just making shit up but also dan was like. way more overtly flirty than phil was (though phil did his fair share himself) so do u think that phil had to sit 18 year old dan down and tell him how he got outed to irl ppl bc of the internet and how they had to watch what they said online 😭😭😭😭😭

[leafonground]

alright, lets talk about it. episode 6. most of the lore implication stuff is at the very end. mirai days spoilers inbound.

my first instinct was to go "alright, no way, this is "adult oriented", yeah, but its still a mofurun merch vehicle. plus in the original, something similar happened to haa with dokurokushe. there is no chance that hisuis death is going to stick." and while that might still be true, as i keep thinking about it the more its hitting me that i really cant be so certain. one of the upcoming episodes is titled "hisui and haa", where i presume we'll have what airu implied be spelled out: hisui is haa's successor. even IF they defeat airu and chronosto, and even IF hisui can be brought back, only one of them can stick around.

thats terrible enough on its own, but. thats not even the main point. hisui is dead. she died alone and afraid, with tears in her eyes. and all mirai and liko could do was watch. they failed.

what does this mean, like, for them? from the preview we're seeing theres probably some sillies next episode, sure, and theyre probably thinking hisui could be saved, too, but. what if she cant? and does it even matter? they had to watch airu kill their child. i think these characters are made for eachother, but NO relationship could survive THIS unscathed. mirai is someone who refuses to let go when it comes to family, and liko is doing all she can to suppress the pain of losing mirai years ago, even now. theres so much trauma between these two... is it too much now? are they even good for eachother anymore? i don't know. it hurts so bad.

and it hurts even worse that like. holy shit they just killed hisui. hisui, the absolute goober, the bisexual-blasting bitch child. DEAD. she deserved the world, but she got like. most precure VILLAINS go out more peacefully than her. i am crying in the club as im typing this. i already was feeling terrible physically this weekend (dont ask) but now im just "oh. thats gore the horrifying and painful death of my comfort character. but its like. canon."

but uh... i guess theres a silver lining: haa is back. hi. i missed you. if anyone can save miraiko from going from wholesome cottagecore gay witch yuri to doomed divorce dead child gay witch yuri its her. from the preview she seems to be her usual silly self, which at first my instinct was "NOW IS NOT THE TIME???" but honestly i think i kinda need it. either way, welcome back. please lock in and stop your moms from getting divorced.

airu got to go back in time. cool i guess. good for him. i still don't get it though: if he's so sure that the future cant be changed, why bother? wont he just experience all the pain he felt as a kid, again? haa saying he's not the enemy is like, i mean yeah chronosto is who we need to stop now, but. man.

also that mini-speech he gave in the fight was so out of pocket. "i can tell youre shaken. this is whats best for everyone. you could see kotoha again." my brother in christ youre about to kill their other child and you said this.

and chronosto. new villain. giant clock in the sky. big dog. we don't know enough about them yet to say much else, but i do think that the dog literally just being a regular dog (before chronosto used it as a vessel anyway) is a pretty funny subversion. no shot is airu done being evil though, we'll be seeing him again. probably to recieve a biblical asskicking from the cures, but it remains to be seen.

last thing: the animation. gorgeous. watching my comfort ship crumble to ashes has never looked so good. keep it up deen.

in summary: i am in a great deal of emotional pain. thanks precure. very cool.

[woahrarepairsagemare]

plaguebow 1990s au angst i thought of while i was having an episode

I remember the first day I ended up in her care , it was really embarrassing for me , considering I was supposed to be that journalist who got away with everything .

I mean , guess they could call me that , i didn't do anything this time yet that rockstar tried to blow my brains out with her bat .

that .. doctor .. who I find so endearing .

She laughed away my case instead of treating it like a serious matter , and it had made me a little annoyed at first ..

but maybe that was what started this attraction to her .

Her laidback personality , her hedonistic tendencies , her curious lisp and southern accent .. and her humor ..

I just couldn't find her annoying no matter how hard I tried .

It's safe to say I healed much faster than I should've when I was under her care .

When the time came for me to be discharged , she laughed at my slightly disappointed face .

' You look like a dying duck , you want me that badly ? Glad you didn't stay or else I would've done some .. medical malpractice ;) '

I remember my face going redder than a tomato , causing her to giggle and give me a friendly slap on the wrist , before she pushed me out the doors to where storm was waiting for me .

I still couldn't resume to being a journalist , I still had appointments , and thankfully they all happened to be with her .

It was embarrassing how it was in that first appointment that I had learned her name .

' Wisteria's what they call me ! Though they know me simply as plague . '

An odd name for a doctor I figured , yet I loved it , it suited her .

The appointments had become everything for me in my life , over those checkups we giggled like little girls , which neither of us had been able to be .

It was like a break from reality .

She brought out the emotions in me no one had bothered to find .

we even begun calling them our little dates , though she often mocked the name in a playful manner .

' what would the others say if our relationship was anything but professional ? '

I smiled and shook my head , but I yearned for it to be true .

And here I am , still yearning ,

as I picked up the receiver , making the last few calls i'd ever make to my loved ones

and made feeble excuses for why i'd not be able to come for any arrangements i had made with them .

As I hung up on Sage , trying to savor her soft words , i felt the gun being pressed into the back of my head .

'are you done yet ? gods , i hate your pathetic voice . '

Nightmare spat those words out at me , and I was about to say no .

and then I remembered the love of my life , and realized that she too should hear my words .

I let out a small groan and bowed my head down .

' one more , please . Just one last call . '

I knew she was tired but she let me have my way ,

which not before she contented her self with a small slap to my head .

trying to stop the tears from rolling down my face , I dialed my beloved Plague .

' Dr. Wisteria speaking , which patient or future patient am I speaking to ? '

that lovely voice soothed my nerves , reducing my fear of death

' Hey Plague- its me , Rainbow , remember ? '

I heard those giggles come out of her mouth again as she replied with that playful tune .

' of course i do ! youre my favorite patient and- dont mind me .. my favorite playdate , after all ! '

I blushed , before the gun was pressed harder into my head .

' hurry up , I dont want to hear your sappy conversation with her for too long . '

I secretly rolled my eyes before I continued to tlak to her .

' yeah , im afraid I wont be able to come to our next appointment , things are a little rough for me right now so .. I'll show up for the others though , probably . '

she sighed in mock annoyance and giggled , causing a bit of disruption down the line .

' whats the point in having me as your doctor if you cant come for our little date ? im VERY high maintenance you know .. '

I smiled before I heard that horrid countdown .

' .. 25 , 24 , 23 .. '

I panicked and quickly said my goodbyes .

' hey plague im kinda busy right now so i'll talk to you later , kay ? '

she paused as she noticed the barely concealed terror .

' dear rainbow , whats wrong ? surely the- .. '

she couldnt say more as the receiver fell out of my hand . I was slammed against the wall of the telephone booth , my face buried in the wall .

I trembled as I heard the panicked words down the line

' Rainbow ? Rainbow whats wrong ? Has something happened ? '

I wish I could respond , but how could ? I didnt even have the energy to yell or whimper , as Nightmare stamped on my hand with hatred . positioning the gun just below my chin .

' youve wasted enough damn time , now say your final words before you die a silent death . '

plague .. no .. she heard those words and panicked more . Why- why ?

I trembled as I heard those words , they sounded like static in the back of my mind .

' NO ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?! LET RAINBOW GO ! YOU CANT KILL A FUCKING JOURNALIST ?! '

I turned around so that my back was against the wall and tried to tell her to calm down , but all that came out of throat was a whimper as the gun was pushed further up my chin .

' any . last . words ? '

she asked in that horrible fucking tone .

I sighed and look up at the red ceiling of the telephone booth .

' Plague my darling .. I love you . '

I closed my eyes as NIghtmare flicked the safety off .

Plague broke down into tears at the other end .

' RAINBOW , NO ! '

BANG - !

[wasyago]

some rambles about gillion trans headcanons and other stuff

im realizing that i write these posts because i have no one to talk about riptide with, so this is like a monolog that is meant to be a dialog? sort of? the point is, the thought process is unpredictable and this is just everything that goes through my head and not like a structural point or anything and some things are random and not uhhh pretty(?). i dont even know why im writing these disclaimers, no one cares probably?

anyway. so, if gillion was a trans man, how would that work?

did he know from the young age, before the elders even, that he was a boy? was it just an obvious thing for him and his family? was he loved and accepted? and when the elders took him away, did they accept him as well? did they even see him for a kid/a person he was, or did they only think about the prophecy and didn't care what gender The One was? when gillion got older, did he get his top surgery inside the walls of the palace without anyone questioning him or looking down upon? or did he have to sneak out? probably definitely not sneak out, im not sure gillion ever left the palace or seen the world outside much. did he even get top surgery?

that's an interesting question to me actually, because if tritons (in this campaign at least) hatch from eggs, do females even have bigger boobs? technically no, right? do they even have boobs? i mean, they do have chest muscles and stuff, but do they have nipples? the one time i drew gill without a shirt i didn't draw him any, so im gonna say "no" for now. sorry im huge bore when it comes to these types of questions, i don't even know why actually... is it weird?

uhh what was i talking about... so i guess yeah, if female and male tritons don't have that different of a body structure, gillion probably didn't even need a top surgery to begin with. and maybe he didn't experience much in terms of dysphoria, which honestly? good for him, he had enough going on already...

but if gillion wasn't trans before the elders? if he was fine with his gender, he was only five after all, he had better fiveyearold things to worry about. what happened after he was taken away? was it his own realization, just at an older age?

or was it forced on him by the elders? (its definitely a darker concept and would be out of character for the elders, but as an alternative universe I think its interesting as well). because "the chosen one", the hero of the prophecy, the one who will decide the fate of the world and who will protect the undersea, in the eyes of the elders could've only be a man (if they were misogynistic). and when they come to this family and they see a 5 y.o. girl, what can they feel except disappointment? they will try anyway though, because what are they supposed to do? and if they need a man for a prophecy they will get him one way or another...

again, a darker concept, and i think i like it like an au better than a headcanon for the main campaign. because it's ooc and brings up slightly different topics from the original.

at the end i think i wont headcanon gill as trans? (although who knows, maybe I'll come around eventually, we'll see) maybe as nonbinary or a secret third thing though. gillion to me doesn't feel like a "man" man, his gender is "a guy" i don't know how to explain it hdgsbbs (maybe im just projecting idk o_o)

I love it when people hc him as trans tho, its very sweet!!!!!!! and i believe he does have the top surgery scars in the official art? so like, pop off king lets go???? (actually i just checked and no he doesn't, but im gonna think he does anyway)

im a little scared to re read this post and i think i'll delete it later probably, but uhhh yeah... again, just rambling and thinking out loud (not out loud but you get what i mean. writing all this down or drawing something really helps me to think and figure things out, so that's why)

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[boy-above]

hello my beloved followers i realized i haven't given a life update or really talked much lately so i shall now

my mom has officially moved out so it's just me and my dad now. things are honestly kind of nice because my mom has hoarding tendencies so our house was always full of shit we didn't need and all the clutter and mess everywhere was kind of oppressive. everything is so clean and organized now so i'm kind of enjoying it. but i feel bad for enjoying it because yknow, it's my mom and i miss my mom and i feel bad for finding positives. but also, my mom is doing a bad job hiding that she kind of resents me, i guess because i get to stay in the house and continue living the life she can't anymore. she keeps saying "your life isn't changing at all" as if she wishes my life Did change, like that i would get uprooted like she did, which i think is kind of a fucked up thing to wish for your child. she just seems angry that i haven't been falling to my knees crying in front of her over the whole thing; my whole life she's always judged me because i don't Perform Emotion the way she expects me to, ie she doesn't like my autism. i'm not someone who cries very much, i probably have a genuine cry maybe once every six months or even less. and i especially don't cry in front of people. but she can't fathom the idea of being sad without crying about it, so she's convinced i'm not sad at all about being separated from her and even said i was happy about it at one point which just pissed me off.

so tbh she kinda created a self fulfilling prophecy, i was sad about her leaving and my life changing like this, but as she started acting more and more resentful about it it's making me not miss her as much. and i mean, yeah, there's definitely stuff i'm not gonna fucking miss about her lmao. here's a list <3

• she has hoarding tendencies so no more clutter everywhere. everything now is so clean and organized, we actually have space in our house, especially in our dining room and basement. we could barely walk through our laundry room before.

• she would buy things in bulk and hoard them because they were on sale, ignoring that people less fortunate than us could have used those sales way more. all my friends know about the great 20 Sticks Of Butter In Our Fridge saga.

• she would buy things she knows we don't use because they're on sale, and when we didn't use them she'd still get mad about it. she accused me of wasting food constantly despite buying things i never asked for. i have ARFID on account of my autism so she knows there's only a few foods i eat but she would still buy foods she knows i wont eat and get mad about it anyway.

• NO MORE DIGGING THROUGH MY FUCKING TRASH. this woman used to dig through my trash because she's allergic to throwing things out. she would buy clear trash bags just so she could scan the garbage easily. the worst one was when i threw out some underwear because they were getting old and stained, and she bragged about taking them out of my trash and wearing them herself because they fit her, and scolded me for "wasting them". disgusting!! lmao!!

• no seriously this is genuinely freeing. i can throw things away now. i can donate things i dont want. i dont have to vet every fucking item with my mom before it leaves this house. because usually what would happen is that she'd say "i can sell this, i'm going to put it in the yard sale" and then it would be in our house for a decade longer because it wouldn't sell in any yard sale we had. like there's legit stuff in her yard sale stash that i wanted to get rid of 15 years ago and she's just held on to because surely this will be the year she gets five dollars for it! surely!

• no more becoming enraged if i have the nerve to lock the door because she thinks she's entitled to access to me 24/7. i would say no more barging in without knocking, but she still does that every time she comes over to our house anyway 🙃

• no more eating my stuff. like this isn't as bad as the others but it always pissed me off when i'd ask for a pie or something similar and i'd get one piece and the next day it would be gone. she would say i "wasn't eating it" and say how she Had to eat it because it would have gone to waste if she didn't. she doesn't understand that normal people don't eat an entire pie in one sitting, so she really will just eat my whole fucking pie and then tell me i was gonna waste it because i didn't inhale it all at once. and yes she would do this on my birthday with cakes and the like as well. eat my whole fucking birthday cake 🙃

there's a lot more i could get into, i had a whole post a while back about how sexually inappropriate she was with us as children so i'm always going to have resentment towards her for that, but i wont get into that right now.

ANYWAY yeah ive just been adjusting to living alone with my dad and it's honestly been pretty good. and i hate to say this but i think it would have sucked a lot more to live only with my mom. in fact i kinda think it would have been a nightmare. the reason i stayed with my dad was because he kept the house, and i refuse to move out of this house lol. it does make me feel bad that i haven't visited with my mom very much but like i said her acting like kind of a bitch about the whole thing is not helping her case here.

besides uhhhhhh all of that, i've been doing not very great. i've been feeling really lonely, i crave attention from strangers that i'm never gonna get, and ive been trying to draw but it feels kinda pointless because i know not many people will care. it doesn't help that i have ajawnich brainrot but none of my friends like them so i can't really talk about them 🥲 i'm currently drawing my pookies and trying to have a "this is for me" attitude but it does make me sad rip. i've also been struggling with things like personal hygiene and keeping my room clean, it's an absolute mess right now and it's stressing me out just looking at it. i've at least had fun playing infinity nikki lately and i think perhaps i should post about it here more.

anyway uhhhhh i love you guys thanks for sticking around, i've been losing followers lately bc i'm annoying so thanks to all those that are still here