#so. yeah i guess this is my way of saying there probably wont be much sans art for a while

[elliebell77]

sorry i havent been posting i think im burnt out rn

[orcelito]

Ykno the common critique I've seen around is that trimax fights r hard to follow & such. And I've always had the kind of thought of like "I mean sometimes it can be confusing, but if u stop to study it it's really not that bad"

Having a fight analysis post kinda blow up tho I'm seeing ppl comment over and over in the tags about how hard it is to keep up with the fights... and I'm just like. Is it really that confusing? Like genuinely. I thought it was one of those overblown fan critiques but it seems like a Lot of people agree with it.

[todayisafridaynight]

@ father time can we run it back to june so i can make a joke really quick

[blueslight]

Man

[leonsmain]

been thinking a lot about what i’d do with the rest of my life if money wasn’t an object

[blue-reimu]

my partner is dying

stage 3 lung cancer

not really sure where im going to go from here

not sure how much time i even have left

theres a lot of things i wanted to do with them and vice versa, some definitely wont happen now and others im just trying my best to have happen now in the ttime we still have together

theyre probably singlehandedly the most important person ive ever had in my life. finally gave me some direction to go with this honestly fuckass shitty little life ive been leading. used to talk to me about somewhere down the line moving in together and getting married when we're older and stuff

being totally honest, having tried as hard as i have to be happy, having finally felt like i was somewhere i wanted to be when they came into my life only for this to happen, im not sure what the point is gonna be once theyre dead

not sure what im gonna do

im just doing everything i can for them, no matter what it is, until the end comes

i hate this fucking planet

i dont know if i ever talk about whats actually happening in my personal life on this account but im not doing well

[viktor-leagueoflegends]

I adore this account, I have notifications for when you post, Riot literally took league Viktor to the back of the farm AND SHOT HIM and brought out a new puppy and said it was an improvement. And said it was canon (fr). What my ass isn't getting it how the fuck is Arcane canon if Ambessa and Heimerdinger ARE DEAD. from what I saw, THEY'RE DEAD??? SO AM I MISSING SOMETHING OR WHAT? Or is it some bullshit where the ingame versions are before they died, which I think is big bullshit. And if they're making Arcane canon they should make the Arcane skins free BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE THEY LIKE MONEY. Where are the other piltover/ Zaun champs? They don't have another season to show them so?? Anyway, I love league Viktor. I love him so much fr!!! And I was introduced to the greater league lore by watching Arcane and prefer league Viktor!! Hexcore story so bullshit. <3 THE VOID? CRAZY WHY WOULD THEY INCLUDE THAT IN LIKE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A VERY INTERCONNECTED STORY WITH PILTOVER AND ZAUN. I'm rambling I took like 4 shots, LOVE BLOG LOVE YOU UR SO COOL!!!! Fav blog rn <3<3

First of all I'm so sorry this took a billion morbillion years to answer, idk even what to say about that it was just My Bad.

Anyhow, it really is just such a dogshit decision to have Arcane be canon, all the way down. It's more work for Riot that they clearly don't have the resources to commit to, it doesn't contribute to a healthy lore-state, it pisses off existing fans, and Arcane fans won't even care because they already have Arcane itself! Like why would an Arcane fan give a shit about navigating to the league game lore to read Viktor's new bio, which is just a shitty summary of what happens in Arcane, when they can just, y'know, watch Arcane? And yeah it throws some major wrenches in the works, not just wrt Ambessa and Heimer like you mentioned, but also, Viktor as Herald of the Arcane is only actually Herald of the Arcane for like, an afternoon. Lol. Plus Cait isn't sheriff, etc. So I supposed they're going with this 0 timeline game-state where any character may be pulled from any point in their timeline which! Is fine, I Guess. But they really did Not have to do all that. and stupid to change it to given that (afaik) the current lore was mostly timeline-stable save for like. viego. who is Alive but in cryo or whatever

Probably the thing I think is the most bullshit is the way they claim this lore merger + the VGU's to bring featured champions to arcane canon was The Plan All Along -- which, no the fuck it wasn't? I forget where but some rioter said some shit about how Cait's ASU when Arcane s1 dropped was meant to do this and -- no it wasn't? no the fuck it wasn't? she wasn't even purple. she's not even a sheriff. Her ASU is clearly meant to honour her in-game state and you can't cite her as a reason for why Viktor gets the great Honour of being deleted.

Anyhow. Glad you're here, it makes me really happy to see people enjoy league viktor :] That's really all I wanted to achieve with this archive, so thank you!

[gleefultogo]

Ok! So finally page 869 have released. longest wait of my life because I really wanted to rant? or whatever about this page. There are just several things wrong with it. so starting off, Feaf's mother ends up visiting her and rhov at asmundr territory and feaf is telling her mother that oh she feels sick and has been getting these weird symptoms on and off. so then the mother tells feaf that she's probably pregnant. rohv and feaf are in shock (for like a mere second), anyways then her mother is like we you should put aside the differences of canine and felines and tells her it probably was the golden lioness because she's been fighting for their species for peaceful "coexistent". Again, in my honest opinion this whole species "racism" thing was like another 180 slapped into the comic, there was no indication in earlier pages that canines and felines were struggling to accept one another. since feaf was part of an all guild dog group minus herself being the only feline and cause Axi is the biggest ass. but maybe we could of given hints that she disliked feaf or something from the beginning or saw her as lower class compared to a dog. it would of at least shown the readers that "oh yeah these dogs are racists btw" because the main focus for the longest time was the ghouls and MT which for one the ghouls are pointless and are the most non threatening thing on aedra and but was so important too basically rent land to burn bodies on MT land when they also knew about their past brutal ways. but sat on their butts and shrugged shoulders about it. Moving on... so then feaf mother tells her that if she doesn't want to have the kids, she can take herbs to pretty much terminate the pregnancy. you can take that how you want since it's referring to abortion. and well, in my honest opinion I kinda wish she did take the herbs only because it would save injustice for her future kids but also rhov and feaf barely know each other. but kique is an idiot and no longer has purpose for rhov and forgot about going back to ronja. she then claims that she's "dreamed" of always wanting to start a family with rohv? like feaf what?? when? you two only officially hooked up together from gaslighting each other, then rhov chimes in and says it is a bit sudden (because it is) but says he's ready if she is. I wanna point out that feaf's mom reaction is so emotionless and she's just chill about like its been a common thing. but it's really not, if anything this is history in the making and the reactions are so poorly done by the entirety of the page. creating a potential new spices of hybrids. which spoiler alert, no hybrids, kique claimed and is so damn lazy. but the offspring will most likely be a mix of pups and cubs I guess apparently drawing hybrids will be too hard to trace off of or something. though if he willing to he could get creative with it, plus there was a cat mixed with dog hybrid back in asmundr shown or I think mentioned. he wont draw hybrids but is adding bears in his new comic, doesn't make sense too me but alright. another thing, you all remember when rogio went to the elk spirit to cure his pretend trauma?. I am mentioning this because she's her own spirit. but she gave rogio the opportunity to speak with her personally instead of just getting thrown into the void land or something. I dont what that was called. but if rogio was allowed to speak to him, why couldn't the golden lioness talk to feaf and i dont know ask her permission to impregante her? would of made her look less of an asshole. welp unfortunately this keeps getting worse as newer pages come out.

[pabit]

[corrupted footage]

OH WOW. THESE COOKIES REALLY ARE FUCKING AWESOME. WELL DONE, COWBOY!

Haha, thank you thank you. I’m hoping this can cheer you up a little…you’ve had quite an emotional day.

EMOTIONAL? I'M NOT EMOTIONAL.

Really…? Sorry sweetheart, but I’ve read back on your posts from earlier today and…it seems to me like you’re full of those stinkin’ feelings, actually! 

YEAH, NO FUCKING DUH. I SAID I'M NOT “E-MO-TION-ALLL”…YA DIG? I DON'T WAIL LIKE A WENCH AT EVERY LITTLE INCONVENIENCE. BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY I HAVE ZERO CAPACITY FOR “FEELINGS” EITHER. IT'S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. SO DONT PISS ME OFF.

Oh fine. Let’s get serious then.

What about other feelings? In your story about Vinny, you said you had felt something there but couldn’t figure out what.

(HABIT swallows the rest of the food in his mouth and pauses his vigorous feasting to stare down into the cookie plate)

…FUCK. WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE, PATRICK. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO CHEER UP…THIS TOPIC WON'T BE CONDUCIVE TO THAT END.

I am sincerely trying to help you, Habs, that's my angle. The fact is, I can cheer you up with small gestures that will certainly make you feel good for the moment, but you wont feel any better overall by refusing to talk about the shit that's dragging you down. 

…UGH. I GUESS YOU ARE RIGHT, BUT… VINNY IS DEAD – NONE OF THOSE FEELINGS FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE, PAT. THEY PROBABLY NEVER DID. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?

Ah. That’s the part that haunts you isn’t it; the “probably” of it all. You’re uncertain, still confused about what happened here – what went wrong. And most importantly, you want to know why.

Am I correct?

……

Hm. 

………………….

Not going to answer me? Fine, fuck it. This is how I see it:

You became attached to this guy like ya never could with anyone else in the whole fuckin universe, Habit. And it felt so good to do so. You let yourself become lost in a fantasy; anticipating the thrill of having Vinny fumble over himself to keep you interested. Or how grateful he would be, to be the one entrusted with building you back up after every great fall; and you fall hard and often. You could crush him utterly and have him back in the next life. Vinny is much smarter and much stronger than he looks, and just as obsessive in his own ways…so he’d climb out of the rubble and do it all over again, just because he can; just because he wants to.

Oh yes…you and him would have grown so much stronger together, enough to take on the whole damn planet someday if you guys really tried. And you wanted that so badly. A monster-man and a man-made monster, gleefully kicking up the dust of all the world’s ashes, readying it for her new rulers: Vinny and the Habit, side by side, hand in hand, blood on blood.

It was a wonderfully childish ideal to believe in all that though, wasn't it? Even after all you’ve done for him, Vin betrayed you; taking all of those unspoken dreams and unfulfilled desires along with him as he dies to a fucking papercut.

So much time spent with him…now made completely pointless. So many pieces of your mind, heart, and body gifted to him, just to carelessly toss you to the curb when you weren’t looking…

It’s easier on a broken heart to deny that it’s broken in the first place. It's easier to fall in line when the numbness takes hold, and mindlessly insist that none of it matters; never did, never will. There's no reason to cry over spilled milk as they say. It's no big deal. It’s all just part of the game. Vinny was meant to be nothing more than a pawn on your board anyways. But he was indeed more than just that to you, wasn’t he?

Vin softened you and left you exposed to a world that won’t ever accept what you'll become even after he is gone; and he won’t be coming back, not this time. You and him made sure of it by bringing those awful weapons to life on that chilly fall evening before the end of the world. Your last full day together; where everything else in the universe ceased to exist beyond the confines perpetuated by two desolate dreamers; a warm fire at his legs; the melody of ghosts crowding around, crying out towards the inky sky above; beautiful and tragic all the same. You must have seen that in him, too.

After the end of it all, you got out alive and he did not. You didn’t win the game nor Vinny’s companionship, but you survived…and just barely.

Vinny is dead. 

And when that harsh reality slaps you across the face, you know you will never be allowed to forget the price you’ve paid, with suffering and with fire, for the loyalty that Vin never actually intended to give you. Now you’re covered with those scars. Razor sharp claws have sunk themselves deeply into you and won't let go. However…to whom do these claw marks belong to? Vinny; for betraying your trust and destroying your dreams? Or yourself; for letting him do it so easily…?

Why did you go back to your old sinking vessel, Habit?

Were you really so tempted by the belief that not taking Evan’s corpse would otherwise be wasteful? A shame?

Were you inspired by the discolored splotches painting decaying flesh in dull greys and blues; admiring the texture of his flesh canvas, well-weathered by the rain and the hungry mouths of all the tiny critters that feast happily upon each wrinkle?

Did the overwhelming smell of iron from all that ghastly bloodspill soaking into the ground below, brought up in the wafts of wet earth and wild mountain grasses, bring a wistful tear to your eye? 

Was Evan really worth all of that to you…?

…

No.

You weren’t there for Evan at all, I think. He was more of an afterthought if anything. It was Vinny you wanted to see though. And I believe that’s why you made the impulsive decision to repossess his friend’s body; it was the only way to be there at Vin’s side and feel him next to you, just one last time.

Then you ran away to avoid the consequences.

...........................................................................

>>

[peleksstuff]

high on you l. l timothée chalamet x waitress!reader

*gifs not mine*

yes this would be a series. might be another series of mine that i wont finish. (again a lil bit of chatgpt to correct my grammar)

summary: a waitress caught timothée at the backroom of the diner doing something.

----

It was a chilly Tuesday night when Timothée Chalamet found himself in the back room of a small, dimly lit diner. He’d been feeling the weight of the world more than usual lately, and the crumpled baggie in his pocket was the only thing that seemed to provide any temporary relief. He had thought the diner, being relatively quiet, would be a safe place to indulge in his habit.

He was mistaken.

You, a waitress working the late shift, had just finished wiping down the counters when you heard the shuffling and murmur of voices coming from the back room. Curious, you walked over to investigate. What you saw stopped you in your tracks. There was Timothée Chalamet, crouched behind a stack of empty crates, looking frazzled and vulnerable.

You blinked, your initial shock quickly fading into a mix of concern and disbelief.

“Seriously?” you said, leaning against the doorframe with a raised eyebrow. “This is what you’re up to behind the scenes?”

Timothée head snapped up, and his eyes widened with a mix of panic and shame. He scrambled to his feet, his hand fumbling as he tried to stuff the crumpled baggie into his pocket.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean for anyone to see—”

You held up a hand to stop him. “You think I’m going to make a big deal out of this? Relax. I’ve seen worse. Just… don’t overdose in the restaurant, okay?”

His surprise was palpable. For a moment, he just stared at you, his mind racing. “You’re… not going to report me?”

“Why would I?” you shrugged, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. “I’ve got enough to deal with without adding a celebrity scandal to my list.”

He chuckled, the sound awkward and uncertain. “You’ve got a point there.”

He paused, glancing toward the door as if considering whether he should just leave and cut his losses. But something in the quietness of the room, the way you didn’t immediately judge him, made him hesitate. The idea of walking back out into the cold night, alone with his thoughts, suddenly felt daunting. Maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to be alone right now.

“Mind if I stick around for a bit?” Timothée asked, his voice quieter now, almost tentative. “It’s been a rough night, and honestly… talking to someone who doesn’t expect anything from me sounds kind of nice.”

You blinked in surprise, not quite believing what you were hearing. Timothée Chalamet, the famous actor, the guy who could probably call up any of his friends and be surrounded by people, was asking to stay and talk to you? It seemed almost surreal.

“Wait,” you said, trying to wrap your head around the situation. “You’re saying you want to talk to me? Just hang out… here?”

Timothée gave a small, self-deprecating smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I guess I am. I know it’s random, but…” He shrugged, letting his words trail off.

You couldn’t help the thought that flashed through your mind: You’re that lonely, huh? It wasn’t said out of malice, but rather a genuine curiosity mixed with a bit of sympathy. You’d never really considered that someone like him, with so much fame and success, could feel lonely enough to seek out company in a  diner with a stranger.

But you didn’t say it out loud. Instead, you gave him a soft smile, gesturing to the seat across from you.

“Well, I’m not exactly busy, so if you want to talk, I’m all ears.”

Timothée seemed almost relieved, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he sat down.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. “I know it’s weird, but sometimes, it’s nice to just… be around someone who doesn’t know everything about you. Or at least, doesn’t act like they do.”

You nodded, leaning back in your chair. “I get that. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk to a stranger. No expectations, no pretense.”

He smiled, a genuine one this time, and you noticed how it lit up his face, making him look a little less weary. “Exactly.”

“So,” you began, deciding to lighten the mood a bit, “do you always sneak around in diners when you’re having a rough night, or is this a new hobby?

He laughed, the sound genuine and warm. “No, this is definitely a first. I don’t usually do… well, this.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in your eyes. “You mean getting caught by waitresses in the middle of questionable activities?”

He grinned, shaking his head. “Yeah, not my finest moment.”

You both shared a laugh, the tension in the room easing as the conversation continued. As you talked, you couldn’t help but think how strange it was—this unexpected encounter, this moment of connection with someone so different from yourself. But as the minutes passed, it felt less strange and more… right.

Maybe Timothée was lonely, maybe he just needed someone to listen, but whatever the reason, you were glad you could be there. And as the night wore on, you realized that maybe you needed this moment just as much as he did. 

[speakofthedebbie]

ASK GAMES IN SESSION:

fandom asks

moots on anon (debs original; moots go on anon, say a few things about them [usually 3] and i have to guess who they are)

fic writers: directors cut

some things of varying importance (<- my fav colour btw)

came for one. singular. fucking. post by @elsa-fogen, stayed for the hazbin brainrot

names debbie (read about why here), nicknames are any variation that suits you

she/her

after much deliberation (thx for your insight @lifea16 <3) im a femme-leaning biromantic and femme-leaning sex-indifferent quoisexual cuz i dont fucking know T-T

in a qpr with @lifea16 >:3

minor (not saying majors [literally why arent 18+ called that] cant interact, but watch yourself)

in regards to above: ♐ (december 14th) [have had 1 bday on tumblr]

no comm beggars/any asks relating to money. i am a minor, i cannot help you

#1 luci lover/defender

started shipping radioapple as a joke but it becomes less of a joke each day (while i am now radioapple inclined, i am still a multishipper at heart)

priestess of @cali-and-chaos' radioapple cult (@manicali has deleted the blog but i will go on carrying out my duties as priestess and spread the word of radioapple far and wide)

almost certainly some flavour of neurodivergent

transphobes dont even look at this blog. me and my trans besties WILL beat you up and it WILL be embarrassing

same goes for terfs, racists, bigots and the like. do not test me

fandoms:

currently:

hazbin hotel (wow who wouldve thunk it)

helluva boss (somewhat)

mouthwashing (i wont curse That One Friend That Gets Me Into Everything for this but rather a mutal friend. havent finished kubz scouts playthrough but liking it so far)

namesake (they get linked cuz the chances of anybody who follows me knowing what it is are slim) [you prolly wont see much content about it {for now >:)} but i do really love it and will be clawing at walls until my pookie warrick shows up again /lh]

previously:

mystreet (may return when s7 comes out)

hermitcraft (im way too behind to catch up now)

percy jackson & the olympians (left off on titans curse)

murder drones (now that its done might come back to)

the promised neverland (i still like it, but i finished the manga)

project SEKAI: COLORFUL STAGE! (feat. hatsune miku) [i had a stint with it but since i could never play the game it died off. still have a high key crush on akito 😍]

heathers: the musical (i debated moving it down here but i dont care for it much anymore lol. like i still like the musical, i still really like the songs, and will probably make it my mission to memorize the entire thing one day but its impact is fading man)

unique tags:

#debs is a yapper (i talk about shit. usually hazbin shit. intersects way too much with-)

#debs is a memer (i make memes. usually hellaverse memes. intersects way too much with #debs is a yapper.)

#debs is an artist (i make art occasionally. so far 100% hazbin art.)

#debs is a writer (i post my hellaverse fics. either wip snippets or links to the ao3 page. previously under #debs is an artist.)

#debs is a responder (i respond to the [semi!]rare ask or two [used to be #debs is an answerer but it sounded too weird lol])

#debs is an original poster (i make original posts. opposite of-)

#debs is a reblogger (i reblog usually hellaverse shit, which for my apprehensiveness about it at first has become [more than] half my blog. opposite of #debs is an original poster.)

#debbie's never ending rivalry with her own fucking brain (i wage psychological warfare against my own brain. no one wins.)

#"for your queueing has just begun~" (i queue posts.)

look at the top 10 posts yourself lol

individual follower shout-out (hasnt been updated in a WHILE mb chat)

oh yeah i got a sideblog lol (high school advice)

also luci-centric sideblog lol im so predictable

[captainimfangirling]

The Boys Season 4 Episode 7

I lied. I stayed up until 2 am waiting for this episode to stream but I'm actually surprised it was better than the last one.

Warning: Major Spoilers.

A-Train

I didn't like A-Train but know I do. Good for him for doing the right thing and becoming an actual super hero. Not sure if this will be a popular opinion or not but I don't think his deed is done. After he hides his family I think he should come back and finish the job with The Boys. They sure can use him. Also he shouldn't be running off after what he told M.M. because he would be a hypocrite.

Butcher

My gut feeling tells me Joe Kessler is going to take over after Butcher passed out. Like we thought Butcher was going to do the right thing at the end but sadly not when Kessler takes over. I think if he does take over Butcher Starlight will figure it out because she heard that name. Also what was the f*cking point of making him cheat on Becca?! I mean I didn't ship them or anything and I know he was a asshole and a drunk but still I feel like they added that so we start hating on Butcher. Is Butcher (or Kessler) going to do something really f*cked up? Like kill Ryan? I've always said Kessler is like the comic book Butcher influencing TV Butcher and he's probably going to kill Ryan like he did in the comic books.

Hughie & Starlight

Because of what happened to Hughie last episode the shapeshifter tricking him into having sex with "Starlight" made me very uncomfortable. I mean I get the show is supposed to be f*cked up but wow give the guy some time to breathe. I'm scared for Starlight and I hope they give Hughie a chance to save her. I think that's all he wanted to do last season because he couldn't save Robin. I don't think it was all about Starlight being stronger than him.

Kimiko & Frenchie

Yup like I said both of them have so much in common and can heal together. I love that we finally get a backstory of why Kimiko can't talk. She had to be silent as she killed other girls in order to live so she was never able to speak again. To be honest I don't get what the point was about Frenchie turning himself in. Are we supposed to see his as his redemption and all is forgiven because he did the right thing?

The Deep

To be honest I'm not surprised The Deep broke Ambrosius' tank and let her die. The Deep always used and abused women. He didn't change at all. He finally got a taste of his own medicine when he found out about Sage and this time it's the correct way (the wrong way was him getting sexually assaulted in season one). Anyway did anyone know Ambrosius was voiced by Tilda Swinton because I for as hell didn't.

Black Noir 2 & Sage

Black Noir 2 was hilarious in this episode. I wonder if The Boys are going to figure out that he's is a different supe because they saw him talk and fly. I mean they would've known about Earving condition from Mallory, right? I think they should start a rumor about Black Noir being replaced so conspiracy theories fan would believe it. I always knew Sage had a sexual relationship with Black Noir 2 but didn't think she was going to break his heart. My poor baby. I love how she didn't have to lobotomize herself to have sex with him like The Deep. I'm so mad at Homelander for firing her but it's probably for the best if you want her to be redeemed or work with The Boys. I think she really was going to help Homelander but when she realized he wont actually listen to her she doesn't give a damn about the plan anymore and will probably help The Boys if she's hasn't given up on anyone listening to her.

Homelander, Firecracker, and Ryan

I am so proud of Ryan but I am also scared for him. Yeah Homelander didn't mean it at all when he told Ryan he can do whatever he wants. Homelander only wants Ryan to listen to him. I think Ryan is finally understanding. I have a feeling there's going to be son and father argument and Ryan is going to say I thought you said I can do whatever the f*ck I want but I guess you didn't mean it. What was that notebook Sage put on the table? I hope it belongs to Firecracker and it exposes her. Like how she writes down her plans of manipulating Homelander and step one was the breast milk. I keep saying oh this or that is going to push Homelander over the edge but when the hell is that going to happen? Next season? Because I for sure thought Homelander was finally going to go crazy and act like a god he thinks he is after the bad room episode but the next episode he's drinking titty milk from Firecracker and the episode after that he's manipulated into firing Sage who actually had everything figured out for him.

Mother's Milk

You know what M.M. getting skinny actually makes sense. Maybe he wasn't eating right because of all the stress. I know the actor wanted to lose weight but they should've written it into the plot. Anyway I'm happy he tried to save his ex-wife and daughter but A-Train is right. They wont be safe until they stop Homelander. That's why I think A-Train will come back.

Victoria

I don't care for her to be honest. I thought she was more interesting and fun when I thought she was going to be just as ruthless as Homeladner. I think they're trying to make her sympathetic so we can compare her relationship with her daughter and Homelander's relationship with Ryan.

Ashley

I adore her and this is the first time I'm saying that. She's right that Vought turns people evil. I've always said this. I think all supes were like Starlight at one point even Homelander (watch the cartoon series and see) wanted to be a real hero but Vought messed them up very badly. She's just too scared to leave. I hope she does the right thing at the end.

[dnpbeats]

Do u think one of them has ever wanted to hard launch and the other one was like nah? I feel like they must have had that conversation at some point!

hmm. i mean yeah i'm certain they had the conversation. even in 2009 when they were really open about things, they never actually explicitly said they were together (i mean obvs everyone could guess and i don't think they cared, but like they must have made the decision to have a sliver of plausible deniability left*). and then i'm sure they continued to have many conversations about it, it's not really a one and done type of convo espc with their careers

i'd say, do i think one of them has wanted to hard launch when the other hasn't? no. do i think one of them would have been neutral about hard launching when the other hasn't? honestly... also no. like we all know why dan didn't want to come out (generally and also in terms of his and phil's relationship, "what me and phil had was ours and personal and yet some people were trying to get access to it for their own satisfaction"). we also know that phil is super private (from dan, from phil himself, and just from observation). i think phil didn't (doesn't?) want to hard launch not bc of the gay relationship aspect but because of the "it's my personal life and 4 million people don't need to know about it" aspect. so yeah honestly from what i've seen and what they've said i feel like they've probably been on pretty much the same page about coming out? but ofc at the end of the day i only see what they present to us, so i could be totally way off base

*making this a footnote bc this is off topic but i just remembered phil's story about getting outed to his friends back home bc of the dating website. and then ofc dan's issue of not being out to his family/college friends. so i wonder if they in 2009 were fine with flirting online bc they didnt care if like random ppl on dailybooth and twitter knew they were together, but if anyone who knew them irl saw and like tried to out dan to his parents or some shit (as some ppl are wont to do), he could do some handwaving to explain it away :( like ok now i'm just making shit up but also dan was like. way more overtly flirty than phil was (though phil did his fair share himself) so do u think that phil had to sit 18 year old dan down and tell him how he got outed to irl ppl bc of the internet and how they had to watch what they said online 😭😭😭😭😭

[woahrarepairsagemare]

plaguebow 1990s au angst i thought of while i was having an episode

I remember the first day I ended up in her care , it was really embarrassing for me , considering I was supposed to be that journalist who got away with everything .

I mean , guess they could call me that , i didn't do anything this time yet that rockstar tried to blow my brains out with her bat .

that .. doctor .. who I find so endearing .

She laughed away my case instead of treating it like a serious matter , and it had made me a little annoyed at first ..

but maybe that was what started this attraction to her .

Her laidback personality , her hedonistic tendencies , her curious lisp and southern accent .. and her humor ..

I just couldn't find her annoying no matter how hard I tried .

It's safe to say I healed much faster than I should've when I was under her care .

When the time came for me to be discharged , she laughed at my slightly disappointed face .

' You look like a dying duck , you want me that badly ? Glad you didn't stay or else I would've done some .. medical malpractice ;) '

I remember my face going redder than a tomato , causing her to giggle and give me a friendly slap on the wrist , before she pushed me out the doors to where storm was waiting for me .

I still couldn't resume to being a journalist , I still had appointments , and thankfully they all happened to be with her .

It was embarrassing how it was in that first appointment that I had learned her name .

' Wisteria's what they call me ! Though they know me simply as plague . '

An odd name for a doctor I figured , yet I loved it , it suited her .

The appointments had become everything for me in my life , over those checkups we giggled like little girls , which neither of us had been able to be .

It was like a break from reality .

She brought out the emotions in me no one had bothered to find .

we even begun calling them our little dates , though she often mocked the name in a playful manner .

' what would the others say if our relationship was anything but professional ? '

I smiled and shook my head , but I yearned for it to be true .

And here I am , still yearning ,

as I picked up the receiver , making the last few calls i'd ever make to my loved ones

and made feeble excuses for why i'd not be able to come for any arrangements i had made with them .

As I hung up on Sage , trying to savor her soft words , i felt the gun being pressed into the back of my head .

'are you done yet ? gods , i hate your pathetic voice . '

Nightmare spat those words out at me , and I was about to say no .

and then I remembered the love of my life , and realized that she too should hear my words .

I let out a small groan and bowed my head down .

' one more , please . Just one last call . '

I knew she was tired but she let me have my way ,

which not before she contented her self with a small slap to my head .

trying to stop the tears from rolling down my face , I dialed my beloved Plague .

' Dr. Wisteria speaking , which patient or future patient am I speaking to ? '

that lovely voice soothed my nerves , reducing my fear of death

' Hey Plague- its me , Rainbow , remember ? '

I heard those giggles come out of her mouth again as she replied with that playful tune .

' of course i do ! youre my favorite patient and- dont mind me .. my favorite playdate , after all ! '

I blushed , before the gun was pressed harder into my head .

' hurry up , I dont want to hear your sappy conversation with her for too long . '

I secretly rolled my eyes before I continued to tlak to her .

' yeah , im afraid I wont be able to come to our next appointment , things are a little rough for me right now so .. I'll show up for the others though , probably . '

she sighed in mock annoyance and giggled , causing a bit of disruption down the line .

' whats the point in having me as your doctor if you cant come for our little date ? im VERY high maintenance you know .. '

I smiled before I heard that horrid countdown .

' .. 25 , 24 , 23 .. '

I panicked and quickly said my goodbyes .

' hey plague im kinda busy right now so i'll talk to you later , kay ? '

she paused as she noticed the barely concealed terror .

' dear rainbow , whats wrong ? surely the- .. '

she couldnt say more as the receiver fell out of my hand . I was slammed against the wall of the telephone booth , my face buried in the wall .

I trembled as I heard the panicked words down the line

' Rainbow ? Rainbow whats wrong ? Has something happened ? '

I wish I could respond , but how could ? I didnt even have the energy to yell or whimper , as Nightmare stamped on my hand with hatred . positioning the gun just below my chin .

' youve wasted enough damn time , now say your final words before you die a silent death . '

plague .. no .. she heard those words and panicked more . Why- why ?

I trembled as I heard those words , they sounded like static in the back of my mind .

' NO ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?! LET RAINBOW GO ! YOU CANT KILL A FUCKING JOURNALIST ?! '

I turned around so that my back was against the wall and tried to tell her to calm down , but all that came out of throat was a whimper as the gun was pushed further up my chin .

' any . last . words ? '

she asked in that horrible fucking tone .

I sighed and look up at the red ceiling of the telephone booth .

' Plague my darling .. I love you . '

I closed my eyes as NIghtmare flicked the safety off .

Plague broke down into tears at the other end .

' RAINBOW , NO ! '

BANG - !

[wasyago]

some rambles about gillion trans headcanons and other stuff

im realizing that i write these posts because i have no one to talk about riptide with, so this is like a monolog that is meant to be a dialog? sort of? the point is, the thought process is unpredictable and this is just everything that goes through my head and not like a structural point or anything and some things are random and not uhhh pretty(?). i dont even know why im writing these disclaimers, no one cares probably?

anyway. so, if gillion was a trans man, how would that work?

did he know from the young age, before the elders even, that he was a boy? was it just an obvious thing for him and his family? was he loved and accepted? and when the elders took him away, did they accept him as well? did they even see him for a kid/a person he was, or did they only think about the prophecy and didn't care what gender The One was? when gillion got older, did he get his top surgery inside the walls of the palace without anyone questioning him or looking down upon? or did he have to sneak out? probably definitely not sneak out, im not sure gillion ever left the palace or seen the world outside much. did he even get top surgery?

that's an interesting question to me actually, because if tritons (in this campaign at least) hatch from eggs, do females even have bigger boobs? technically no, right? do they even have boobs? i mean, they do have chest muscles and stuff, but do they have nipples? the one time i drew gill without a shirt i didn't draw him any, so im gonna say "no" for now. sorry im huge bore when it comes to these types of questions, i don't even know why actually... is it weird?

uhh what was i talking about... so i guess yeah, if female and male tritons don't have that different of a body structure, gillion probably didn't even need a top surgery to begin with. and maybe he didn't experience much in terms of dysphoria, which honestly? good for him, he had enough going on already...

but if gillion wasn't trans before the elders? if he was fine with his gender, he was only five after all, he had better fiveyearold things to worry about. what happened after he was taken away? was it his own realization, just at an older age?

or was it forced on him by the elders? (its definitely a darker concept and would be out of character for the elders, but as an alternative universe I think its interesting as well). because "the chosen one", the hero of the prophecy, the one who will decide the fate of the world and who will protect the undersea, in the eyes of the elders could've only be a man (if they were misogynistic). and when they come to this family and they see a 5 y.o. girl, what can they feel except disappointment? they will try anyway though, because what are they supposed to do? and if they need a man for a prophecy they will get him one way or another...

again, a darker concept, and i think i like it like an au better than a headcanon for the main campaign. because it's ooc and brings up slightly different topics from the original.

at the end i think i wont headcanon gill as trans? (although who knows, maybe I'll come around eventually, we'll see) maybe as nonbinary or a secret third thing though. gillion to me doesn't feel like a "man" man, his gender is "a guy" i don't know how to explain it hdgsbbs (maybe im just projecting idk o_o)

I love it when people hc him as trans tho, its very sweet!!!!!!! and i believe he does have the top surgery scars in the official art? so like, pop off king lets go???? (actually i just checked and no he doesn't, but im gonna think he does anyway)

im a little scared to re read this post and i think i'll delete it later probably, but uhhh yeah... again, just rambling and thinking out loud (not out loud but you get what i mean. writing all this down or drawing something really helps me to think and figure things out, so that's why)

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.