#so very weary

[dingoat]

[Ugh do you know how HARD this one was for me to figure out when we still have so much BETWEEN THEM to work out??? Have they told each other they love one another yet? Will they, would they? Anyway I did my best and it still hurt >.> ~750 words on the theme of pining for the impossible and a big big problem with bonded souls.]

You're Not Mine

She didn’t want to think about the time drawing to an end, she almost didn’t… want to keep progressing, knowing that every step forward she took in gaining control over her wild half also drew her a step closer to having to… leave.

She didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to be apart. She wanted him to come with her even though she knew it was impossible, he never would, and yet she could not stay here forever, the thought of drawing out her return to the fox left her writhing with guilt. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, and yet all she could do was cling onto every moment she had  while it was still there for her to hold.

“Ahuska,” Thirteen’s voice was gently amused. “How about you not dig in those claws like you’re holding on for dear life.”

“Sorry, sorry-” she winced and pulled back her hands from around his waist, folding them self consciously against her chest only to have one of his strong, long-fingered hands wrap around hers and tug it gently back to his side.

She shivered, then sighed, and tucked her face under his chin. “It’s not fair,” she whispered, as she had countless times before.

He knew what she meant. He felt what she meant. And he softly sighed in kind, knowing he could no more lie to her than cut out his own tongue. “It isn’t,” he agreed, moving his hand to rub slow, comforting circles between her shoulderblades.

“I don’t want a life without you in it,” she murmured, her muzzle sleek and soft against his jawline.

And it hurt him, as it hurt her, and he was silent for a while as he tried to find the words that would help her understand why she yearned for the impossible. “Ahuska. I love you, but you’re not mine,” he whispered, but as sweet and earnest as his tone was, he couldn’t guard against the way her heart twisted to hear it.

“Why not, why not? Your heart is big enough for me as well, I know it, I know it…”

“Big enough for your love, maybe,” he said, his hand sliding to the back of her head, fingers weaving through her hair, hoping to soothe her before speaking further. Their hearts shared their melancholy, their wistfulness, their frustration at a galaxy that had pressed them together when they could not be. He tilted his head and kissed the bridge of her muzzle. “Your love, but not your hate.”

“What- what?” She gave her head a fierce little shake against his face. “I don’t hate you. I never hated you, you know I don’t blame you for the way anything happened…”

“Five,” Thirteen said, and the way she twisted against him, her response so deep and visceral that the revulsion echoed in his own heart, only made him more certain.

She hid her grimace by tucking her face between his neck and the cushion, but she could do nothing to keep her own feelings from him. “So what?  You’re not him.”

“But I love him,” Thirteen answered simply. “You have every right to hate him, and I would never ask you to change that, to forgive him for my sake.”

“So what’s…”

“I don’t blame you for your feelings. But I can’t stand to feel them for myself, and I’m sure you don’t appreciate sharing mine.”

She didn’t.

Opening her heart to him had been… oh, it had been everything, to know one another so perfectly, man and bothan and wolf and hawkbat, but she knew how carefully they skirted around the subject of Five. She didn’t want their bond tainted with an awareness of Thirteen’s love and loyalty for him…

And how could Thirteen go to him, with Ahuska’s seething aversion simmering in the back of his mind?

How could she do that to him?

“Don’t,” he whispered, feeling her on the verge of spiralling. “You’re bigger than the mess life made of you. You’ll be unstoppable one day, and you won’t need me.”

She shuddered, and closed her eyes as she tucked herself more closely against him. “But I want you.”

“And right now you have me,” he reminded her as he kissed her on the forehead. Please, gods. He fought to convince himself as strongly as he wished it for her. Let it be enough.

[omtai]

tumblr ads keep pausing my music. leave tumblr go on pinterest. pinterest has more ads than pictures. leave pinterest go on youtube. ad 1 out of 4 starts playing all four are over a minute long. leave youtube. stare at the wall.

[ahollowgrave]

i have also been toying with bringing a D&D character, Viatrix, into FFXIV for fun and profit (more fun). This is a rough draft of her normal form, but I like it an awful lot!!

This is just a bonus shot I liked:

[quirkycritters]

First week’s worth of Art Fight attacks COMPLETE!! (I do friendly fire and revenge pspspspsps)

In order, these are for @peskypawz, @ssseriema, @secretgaygenttomura, @bunbiiit, puritypaws, @little-angelbun, and @artnerd1123 !

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[pigin-is-so-rad]

A completely normal marriage portrait

[clownsnake]

Is there anyone out there shipping zevlor/halsin bc I feel like that could be very good

[qoldenskies]

I know it’s normal to his character but there is something so sick and twisted about how in CC we see Leo using white lies to joke. It’s a one-off joke but these lines:

OH THEY DROVE ME INSANE. Leo is so good at acting and manipulating and gaslighting, and he uses his skill with it so gently with Donnie most of the time, especially because Donnie is worse than picking up on subtexts/takes people more at their word than most. Like—Leo is so careful about not leaving Donnie out of the joke, and in turn Donnie trusts Leo to make it so he can always tell when something is a lie. It’s like Leo has a blade and is gently tapping Donnie with the flat end to make him laugh, and Donnie doesn’t even twitch because Leo’s never so much as nicked him.

And then Leo tells him he’s crazy. He’s hysterical. He’s being weird. You’re making things up and losing your tools. Yeah you really were in the wrong “but thanks ilysm.” You were only in the closet for a few hours. God you’re terrible at taking a joke. Leo stabs him over and over again and Donnie doesn’t even realize it because Leo’s never so much as nicked him so Donnie doesn’t realize he was being cut into until it was killing him. Just. Oohhh Donnie trusted him entirely with his little heart and Leo squeezed until it stopped moving.

YES THIS!!!!!!! and then in ME leo chooses to lie to him again, even though it's something he's so guilty about doing because he was the main one responsible for the gaslighting (he was the ringleader of it all, something about how he already fell into a leadership position before it was even put on his shoulders being so apparent here, especially as someone who motivated/hyped the others up,,,,,) because he thinks he's out of options, that its the only thing he can do to make things a little better. he's perpetuating the cycle he's trying to break out of as a self-fulfilling prophecy; does the intent even really matter when its so clear the effect is going to be the same? was there any right answer?

even though its definitely a cognitive distortion created from the tragedy of what happened, maybe leo did have somewhat of a point when he said donnie trusted him too much. he laid out the means to his own undoing on a silver platter and refused to take it away even as he bled out on the floor; for such a complicated person, donnie makes his love so simple and unconditional, and that's fine, of course, as long as nobody goes out of their way to hurt him--- that's how the family's always functioned, hasn't it? as terrible as raph was under the effects of the curse, he was correct when he said that things only work in their family when everyone plays their part. its interesting how easy it is to push over one domino and let the rest fall, how fragile peace can be with just one slip-up, one mistake... it almost reminds me of something else that happened =)

[septembriseur]

If you are considering doing something really cool and fame-adjacent when you are 21-23 years old, please know that, no matter what else you do, for the rest of your life that will be the first and only thing about you that other people are interested in.

[clegfly]

“Of course you have an Other Brother,” he says, waving off her denial as he opens some nearby cabinets. “Who else would I be if I wasn’t?”

Small WIP sketch of the Other Brother from IDKSomethingClever99’s fic “Mari in the Pink Palace”!!! OMORI and Coraline are my two biggest interests ever so this fic was like winning the lottery for me. Not to mention how good it is… please go read it ragh

[no-light-left-on]

I often wonder about the quote-unquote logistics of Corvo the Black/Emily the Butcher endings. Emily makes more sense to me, in a way, carving her way through the empire only to come back with blood caked under her fingernails and realising that she did everything her father refused to do 15 years ago. but why did Corvo have a similar choice?

what happens to the statues later? does Emily keep her father trapped in stone? does Corvo look at his daughter, frozen in the moment and considers freeing her? is he at his deathbed when he finally reaches out and cups Emily's cheek, freeing her into a carcass of an empire that he gutted for her, in her name, in the name of her mother?

when I first heard of the endings I thought that if you reach very high chaos, you are locked into this choice - Corvo or Emily tries to free the other and the stone just doesn't budge. they are trapped. the quest is over but the world knows that the bloodshed was extreme and this is the punishment they have to face

[desultory-novice]

Where comes the idea that Kirby "needs adult guidance?" When has Kirby been shown to ever need guidance by anybody outside of the extraordinary circumstances of Rainbow Curse and Mass Attack?

Kirby is always the one doing the guiding. He's at the head of the party. He also isn't native to Dream Land and we're left to assume he cared for himself perfectly fine before arriving there in DL1.

(Let's not be so quick to remove "traveling" from "traveling youth." Remember that the travels Kirby have been on are inter-planetary ones. This isn't the anime where he was a sleeping infant. The series tells us he's been on galactic adventures before arriving on Popstar.)

Kirby IS a childish character, of that there is no doubt. They are quite likely to be a childish child! But Kirby is no one's dependant.

Kirby is perfectly capable of surviving alone, on their own, in situations that have toppled kingdoms. He can also logic out what is going around him with only loose context. In fact, he picks up on complex situations like Susie's and Taranzas really fast.

Kirby can be young. How young is up to each individual person. If it's your HC or you want to write familial relationships with him and the cast, by all means, write him as whatever is cutest/most fulfilling!

But for the series in a general sense? The evidence of Kirby needing other's supervision, protection, and guidance isn't there.

[druidonity2]

2021 Shadowlands fanart.

[triple1st]

forever thinking about how this is romana's last conversation with the doctor

[sewer-rabbit]

I get why some people are upset about the rat grinders being killed (and in a meta way I kinda agree) but with how constantly stressed and exhausted the bad kids have been for the past year this just feels like a tipping point

[vaerhare]

I offer a WIP.... I havent drawn stone in forever so I'm relearning