#so tim is tim about it so now you have batman and robin but it’s dick and tim

[provecfy]

The batfam is sitting around the cave for patrol routes on the 24th (crime doesn't stop for Christmas Eve), when Batman breaks the news towards the end,

Batman: And, finally, there has been an intel breach at the North Pole, so the Justice League has decided to assign Orphan as Father Christmas' bodyguard for the night.

A beat of silence.

Nightwing, unimpressed: Is this a joke for the holidays?

Batman: I am serious. We would assign a flying hero to escort him throughout the night, but we believe a silent and skillful bodyguard would be better, so we moved for Cassandra.

Red Robin: I'm gonna give it to you, B, it's the first time I've seen you commit so hard to a prank, but nobody believes you.

Batman, dropping the Justice League approved files on Father Christmas in front of Cassandra:

Robin, raising from his seat in alarm: So all of those times you said you were gonna call Santa Claus to tell him I was being rude to my siblings-!

Batman: It was true. Everybody knows all the parents have Father Christmas' phone number. *Spoiler raises a hand.* Not your parents, I have been given the responsibility of informing him of your actions even though you're not my legal child. I speak of you better than you think I do.

Orphan, still a bit surprised: Why me?

Batman: He asked for you, ask him yourself, and cheer up. Even if it's for a mission, you're gonna meet Father Christmas.

Highlights of the Christmas Mission:

Father Christmas apologizes to Cass when he sees her, and tells her he has been trying to reach her to give her presents for years. He tells her none of what happened to her was her fault and that she has never been on the naughty list. Not a single year.

Cassandra gets to hug Santa.

Tim and Steph go to the Toys Factory in the North Pole to find the breach.

The North Pole's privage intranet is codified on the soundtrack of Christmas Walmart movies. Tim takes three gulps from spiked egg nog and begins a holiday-theme musical hack battle against the mole.

Steph keeps trying to unionize the elves as a joke but halfway through the night she starts finding actual issues created by some mean-spirited middle-manager and slowly gets more and more serious about the union.

Robin keeps talking to Nightwing about Santa in front of criminals and they all look at Nightwing like "does the kid not know" and Robin keeps insisting that Santa is real and his father talks with him on the phone but nobody believes him.

Red Hood hears about everything and now that he knows Santa is real keeps trying to speak politely to people and doing nice things in efforts to get back on the nice list before Christmas.

He gets Charcoal anyway.

Babs gets a message towards the end of the night. Cass has managed to get a selfie with Santa and her nineteen late Christmas presents after beating the bad guy.

Signal finds out that all the Christmas lights through the street illuminate the street to the degree he can pull all of his day shift shenanigans at night.

Every time he has to fight someone throughout the night he just yells "Holiday Attack!" and flashes them in the face with industrial levels of festive red and green light.

[confusedshades]

Jason and Dick were sparring in the cave when a portal opened up. Dick and Jason flipped to confront whoever it was that had summoned the portal while the Batcave alarms shrieked in the background about intruders. Jason however recognised the portal and stood down. "Hey Danny. Thought I wasn't due for another session until next month." Jason called out to the teenager? Young adult? Who floated out of the portal. Dick eased out of his position and walked over to the Batcomputer to silence the alarms.

The last shriek had barely faded before the cave door slammed open and Tim came bolting down the stairs while Bruce and Damian - who'd barely left for early patrol came screeching back in the Batmobile. "Friendly presence." Dick called out as he walked down to the lower levels where everyone was. "Jason's friend came over suddenly is all." Jason was still talking to the person and both had ignored everything around them, but hearing the questioning lilt to the word friend they both snorted and turned to everyone else.

"Hi, I'm Phantom." The - teenager? Young adult? Dick was having a hard time figuring out the person's age - person introduced themselves with a wave. "I'm the prince in training for the infinite realms and one of the duties I have is fixing time stream nonsense and ectoplasmic leakages, poisonings, etc. it's why I'm here."

Dick thought of Wally and Barry and winced. "If you're looking for one of the Flashes, they're not here; not sure what ectoplasmic leakages would even look like so can't help you there." Dick could feel Batman's glare at the easy share of information but he ignored it. If Jason trusted this Phantom, then that was enough for him.

Jason huffed a half laugh and shook his head. "Pits are ectoplasmic leakages. Phantom's been treating me for what we call Pit rage but is basically ectoplasmic poisoning. In exchange Ra's has been loosing his Pits throughout the world - some explosively some just mysteriously." For however freely the words were offered, Dick noticed how he kept shooting looks to Batman's grim countenance. He'd turned into a brooding looming statue where he stood. Given Damian standing almost shoulder to shoulder, the transformation was almost everyday now.

Robin had just nodded as if this was information he already had. "There are no Pits in Gotham Phantom. What brings you here today?" Dick mentally cheered - Damian's attack first ask questions later behaviour had been on the mend lately and everytime he was more polite and not aggressive, Dick took it for a win.

Phantom, Danny Dick suddenly remembered Jason calling him, just shifted. "Not here for a ectoplasmic leakage or one of the Flashes - Clocky can take care of those idiots himself. I'm here because Red there needs an anchor." When Danny gestured to Tim, everyone turned to look at him.

Tim for his part, blinks. "Uh what? I don't live on a boat anymore so if you're here for an anchor for that, I don't need it?" Dick frowned. He recognised what Tim was doing, he'd seen that technique of teenage naivete and misunderstanding pulled out at various social functions before he pulled off whatever maneuver he had planned to take the other party off guard. Businessmen, CEOs, rogues - they all fell to it. But the reason it worked? Tim always knew what they were talking about.

"Tim?" Dick asked. "Why would you need an anchor?" When Tim opened his mouth, Dick cut him off. "A non boat anchor?" Tim obediently closed his mouth and looked away mulishly.

Phantom coughed awkwardly. "Um, we can talk about it privately given the medical aspect of it if you prefer." When Tim nodded, he and Phantom went to the corner where all sounds were naturally deadened. While they had their own whispered conversation, Robin moved to Jason's side. "Has mother contacted you recently akhi?"

Dick left them to their own conversation and turned to see Bruce still scowling. "Oh come off it B. Jason recognised them immediately and you know Jason doesn't trust easily. If he trusts them, that's good enough for me."

"hn." Was the only grunt Dick got for his trouble, but after decades of Batmanese he knew it meant I don't like it but you're right.

----

"I'm not accepting an anchor Phantom. I told you last time too. There's too much to be done and getting older isn't going to help." Tim hissed as he crossed his arms angrily.

Danny just sighed. "Dude, if I don't do it soon, you'll become unglued. As in the next timeline shenanigans you get pulled into might turn catastrophic."

Tim just huffed. "So you've said. I've got contingencies in place for that. Do you have one for keeping Batman tethered?"

Danny scowled. "Yes I do. It's called therapy."

"Good luck getting him to accept it." Tim muttered.

When Danny Phantom appears in the Batcave, everyone expects he's there for Jason. Whether to cleanse him of Lazarus water, or pull him into the afterlife it depends on the person, but what no one expects is that he's there for Tim.

Meanwhile, Danny doesn't mind dealing with some ectopoisoning while he's in the neighborhood, but the real reason Clockwork sent him to Gotham is to retether Red Robin to the time stream so he can finally age to adulthood. He has spent way too long as a teenager, and no one seems to be noticing.

[timmydraker]

Tim who has never been good at understanding the words of Shakespeare and Dickens.

He can understand metaphors and knows about philosophy, but he’s always struggle to truely grasp the tragedy and helplessness so may of them hold. The idea of someone being doomed from the start, by the author and the narrative or maybe just the world they were set in, just doesn’t really make sense to him.

Part of him knows it’s because he was born with a vintage silver spoon placed delicately in his hands, but there’s more to it than that.

See, most of the bad things that have happened to Tim have either been consequences of his own action or the fact that his friends and colleagues all have the same dangerous job.

To him it just makes sense that bad things will happen and so he can just… prepare for it. He can do what he can to fix it or move onto something else and push away his own feelings because what else is he supposed to do?

So, no, things like Hamlet and Dorian don’t really click for him

At least… until he thinks about Jason.

Born in poverty with a world surrounding him that would not bother to care or offer help to him purely because of how he looks of his parents.

A mother who loves him endlessly, only to fall into the drugs she tried to protect him from.

Finding out that mother didn’t even give birth to him, but the father that never showed anything other than distain and cruelty was still his own.

Being given Robin, hated by the first one for a time, only to die in the suit by the hands of a mad man all because his real mother sold him out.

Waking up in a coffin, digging himself out and roaming around catatonic and the only thoughts he can actually process is that he must be a ghost.

Being taken by a league of killers, lied to and trick and tormented into thing a perfect weapon.

Realise his mentor, who he once thought the father he deserved to have, has failed him and let his killer free because of something as fickle as a moral compass.

Seeing that mentor seemingly replace him with a perfect rich kid who doesn’t swear or complain or sneak off without permission from what he can tell.

Having no real friends in that time.

Having no one to trust because everyone had an ulterior motive. Everyone uses him.

And through out it all, even with all the hate and the bitterness and injustice he had been faced with, his first course of action is to make the home he first had and the only one he will ever have… safer.

To protect the kids like him from becoming statistics and killers, from the pain he felt and the false promises of the Batman.

Jason keeps honesty and integrity, even when no one else offers it to him in return.

Tim can’t understand Macbeth or Antigone or Othello, can’t see why someone would write something so morbid just to try and entertain.

But he can understand, or at least try to understand, Jason Todd.

Because that is someone who had actually been hurt for no reason. Someone who had been tormented by the universe, by fates and coincidence, with no real lesson being taught other than the world hates him.

Sure Jason has Roy and Biz and Artemis and Kori, but what about a brother?

Dick tried, he still does, but he fails Jason over and over by trying to make him ‘better’.

Damian doesn’t really care too much, not out of malice but there’s just not much of a connection between them.

Cass tries, but Jason is always awkward around her and that’s not his fault, you can’t hide a thing from her.

Duke liked Jason a lot, but again, the newest Bat is trying hard to find his place in the world of vigilantes and can’t quite find it in himself to be too close to Jason’s violence.

But Tim…

He’s morals have always been held together by the simple fact of ‘it’s not really that approved of’ and not much else. He won’t kill, but unlike the others he is happy to leave a Rouge in a sinking ship and not feel a hint of guilt.

He adores Jason’s Robin, he knows to some extent how much he lost with that, and now he knows that Jason might not need much more than a few good things.

Small things, nothing that will trick him into thinking the world is apologising because it won’t, but enough to show him that Tim thinks he’s still worth something.

Tim won’t try convince him to become a better person or to stop killing, he might ask him to be a bit more rational and probably won’t be able to stop himself from giving tips on how to run his business, but he wouldn’t ask for his violent brother to change.

Because unlike everyone else, Tim knows that violence exist for good reason.

If it keeps his Jason alive, Tim will gladly hold onto his blood soaked hand.

[frownyalfred]

❄️ as a holiday treat, any Jason or JayRoy headcanons?

(Hope work and life is going well for you and thank you as always for indulging us, and for gifting us your writing! ♡ we appreciate you!)

I think Jason actually misses being a tiny enough Robin to be the designated "sneaking into small spaces" person on missions/patrols. He used to be like a little rat scurrying into enclosed spaces or hard to reach civilians in rubble, but now he's just as big as Batman (if not bigger) and he has to hand those duties off to someone else (usually Damian but sometimes Tim is slim enough to fit too).

I have tons of small idea about Jason and Roy sharing an apartment and all the hijinks that come with that. I think they can both be touchy and on-edge because of their own respective issues but also they crave being near someone else who understands and it just works for them. Something like Roy having nightmares all night and not wanting someone all up in his bed but when he wakes up, Jason is kicked back in the chair by the door with his belt + guns. You know, just keeping watch. It helps them both, having someone who kinda understands (if not perfectly).

(Work is killing me right now, life isn't amazing, but I'm hoping that turns around in 2025. Writing is one of my passions that keeps me not-depressed so thank you for the encouragement and for reading <3 I really appreciate it)

[idksomethinggay]

Okay hear me out: Bruce gets lost in time/dies but 1) it’s 2+ years and 2) the whole batfam except Jason and Dick are underage.

So Dick becomes a father of five overnight. Cass is turning 18 soon. Tim and Steph are 17. Duke is 15 and Damien is 11.

Bruce comes back 3 years later. Dick has officially adopted all of them. He is particularly close with Steph, Duke and Damien. They are all took the name “Wayne-Grayson” (some still have their old last names too). Damien is 14 and is about to start an art program in high school. Duke is applying for colleges. Tim started working for WE straight out of high school. When he was 19 he took over from Dick as CEO. Steph has already finished pre-med and is applying for Med school. Cass spends most of her time travelling the world taking down trafficking rings. Since Tim handles most of the day to day at WE, Dick focuses on charity work. Him and Jason have created shelters (safe ones), job training, free education programs (to get high school diploma + scholarship for university). They have managed to pretty much end homelessness in Gotham. They have expanded the program to 30 cities across America and have spoken at a UN conference on Homelessness, explaining how to set up similar programs (and providing funding).

Bruce comes backs. He is sad he missed 3 years with his kids but could not be prouder. He doesn’t want to undermine the relationships Dick has built. He does everything he can to be in his kids life without pushing Dick out or undermining his authority. Dick hates being Batman, so Bruce is happy to take the role back. Dick becomes Nightwing but Robin is still by his side most nights. He attends all of Duke’s and Damien’s school events (introducing himself as their grandpa). When he feels ready to return to work he does so as CFO (leaving Tim in charge) but also telling him that he needs time to himself to. He makes sure Tim doesn’t feel like WE is 100% on his shoulder.

Bruce visits his parents’ grave. “I left as Batman, mentor to some, father to none. Now I’ve come home as a father of two and grandfather of 5. You should see all they have done. Steph is going to be a doctor like you dad. I wish you were here to see them. You would be proud. I hope I can be half the father Dick has become.”

Dick overhears and sobs that night. Bruce becomes a better parent/grandparent. The batfam work to make the world a better place in and out of costume.

[mrmanbat]

Saw that you reread Red Robin and wanted to ask abt ur thoughts on it all :3 that whole series is some of my fav comics ever- plus I own the full set lol. Favorite part? Something you didnt like? Thoughts about Tim's development and character throughout? Thoughts on the whole Ra's situation? Tim being passively suicidal lol. Or how Tim gets. Just so many bitches. All the bitches. Tim Drake canonically gets bitches. They really look at his failboy swag and go "Yeah I'd hit that" 😭 wheezing.

Anyway yeah, they're like my fav comics so what are your thoughts on them?

And Happy Christmas! Or Happy Holidays if you do not celebrate. Merry ChristmaHannuKwanzaa!

Happy Holidays! (sorry if this does sound cohesive- I wrote right after finishing a 17-page essay, and my brain is actually fried)

The RR comics are so nostalgic to me; they were literally the reason I even picked up a comic in the first place.

The comedy in them gets me every time like Damian accusing Steph of stuffing her bra, gold. And the unintentional stuff like giving Tim an ungodly amount of rizz is just so funny, I can't. Bros is literally a Casanova but can't enjoy it bc, yk, he's busy trying to bring his father back from what is essentially death.

He's just in a long downhill spiral, yk? And he just progressively gets worse throughout his run as RR. The scene where Tims accepts death but Dick swoops in to catch him, and Tim has to lie his ass off, saying that he "knew his brother would catch him," just really brings that point home.

It started off as "No one believes me about Bruce, I'll just have to take. things into my own hands," then it goes to "I barely believe myself about Bruce, but it's too late to turn back now," to "Fuck this, if I die I die- womp womp, too bad I won't be able to tell Dick 'i-told-you-so"'

Tim is self-aware of his self-destructive nature; he knows that all his friends and family are trying to get him to seek help, but he just doesn't care. To him, the mission is more important- batman is more important.

(Side note- Dick trying to get Tim to see a therapist is a lot more impactful than how Fanon twisted it into Dick-trying-to-send-time-to-Akham.)

I'm split on the Ra's thing. I love the concept; I think he was a good choice for the main 'villain,' and I think there was so much potential with Tim reluctantly having to work with Ra's. I just don't think it was done all too well by the writers. A good chunch of Ra's motivation didn't align with his character- at least, I don't think so. And the whole thing with his sister just feels so unnecessary and gross.

Overall, though, I flipping love these comics. They would be better if DC didn't, yk, undo all the cherecter development by making Tim Robin again, but whatever. You win some, you lose some.

[frogaroundandfindout]

Watching you read Red Robin is so funny bc I'm hooting and hollering, that's my favorite comic run and my favorite boy, I could (and eventually will) go on to write analysis on each comic that would be a pretty impressive essay

And then you're a Dick guy so it's like

Me:

You:

Wait now I feel kinda bad 😭

Dick Grayson is just my guyyyyy. I hunt for scraps of him being mentioned and what the characters think about him and his relationships and his development and—

It’s an amazing run so far! The twists and turns are honestly a religious experience and I’m a huge fan of how Tim spirals and pushes people away after Bruce’s “death” until he resurfaces in Gotham with everyone he cares about helping him bc he is NOT Batman. Kid has friends and it’s so cool to see how many people come together to help him get one over on Ra’s. Also, I shit you not his hit list is 1. Objectively funny and 2. Soooo cool in how one take down perfectly leads to the next. He’s a detective in his own right!!!! His commitment to all bits is hilarious too. Like the fake spinal injury to throw of Vicki is so funny to me. It’s a year long bit.

Not to fucking mention his reintegration into the “bats” where dick (thus far) upholds his initial promise of them being equals by trusting him without needing full explanations and not scolding him like a child when he does something considered wrong. Like fight a ten yr old. Instead dick kinda accepts that’s how Tim and Damian are going to be and compromises his own preferences by saying he (dick) is going to have to learn to live with it. Tim’s trustworthy! He’s respected! His friends and family love him.

Also Stephanie brown is here and she’s a fucking delight as always.

[theerurishipper]

Tim Drake, for no reason at all:

Dick Grayson, Tim's big brother in every conceivable way for the past several years:

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

Somebody has definitely said this before but au where bruce kills the joker and gets arrested by the un (can the un arrest people?) so when dick get back from space he finds his brother’s dead, his dad’s an international criminal, and the batman is a 13-year-old boy.

[deadsetobsessions]

I am waiting for my terrible decisions to come feast upon my corpse (I had four slices of mozzarella cheese and I am wildly lactose intolerant) so tall can have this thing I wrote while my bowels attempted to curdle up and wither.

——

Jason laid face down on the floor of his safe house, cheek miserably smushed to the carpet as his joints screamed in growing agony.

“Oh, shit, you good, little wing?”

Jason groaned, not even having enough energy to flip his face to the other side as a pair of boots came into view. Dick.

“Jason, are you okay? Where’s the wound?”

“C’mon Todd, even Timothy knows the importance of addressing open wounds.” Shit, the brat was here too.

“You coming down with something?” Tim’s voice asked from his other side.

Great, Jason grumbled, the whole idiot platoon is here.

A warm hand shook his shoulder, Dick’s concerned mug showing up in Jason’s- huh, when did it get this blurry?- sight. His face scrunched up in worry.

“You look stupid.” Jason said, though it sounded more like ‘yew loo stew pud’ with his face still smushed onto the ground. Reluctantly, he added, “No wound.”

“Tim, help me out.”

Jason groaned when the world spun as Tim and Dick hefted him up.

“What’s happening, Jason? Talk to us.” Tim said sharply, knowing that the tone would get Jason to respond.

“Growing pains.” Jason mumbled. “Laz pits side effects.”

“I see,” Damian suddenly said, and suddenly Jason was so much more grateful for his presence. The demon brat understood. “Richard, Drake, get him to bed. I will retrieve the ice.”

It probably spoke levels of how bad he looked that Jason’s brothers didn’t bother to even comment on the brat’s orders. Jason was lugged to his bed and tucked in.

“Sorry,” he mumbled at Dick.

“For what?” Dick patted him on the head as Tim went to get a glass of water and the painkillers he stored in the bathroom mirror cabinet.

“I’m heavy. You have old man knees.”

Divk gasped, mock offended. “Excuse me?! I’m not old! You’re fine if you’re talking shit, Jay.”

“Feels like shit…” Jay paused. “Not as shit as your gray hairs.”

“Tim! Jason’s bullying me!”

“Gray is a good color on you, I think,” Tim said, walking back in with water and meds. They helped Jason drink the meds as Dick alternated between whining about not being old and indignantly sayin ‘respect your elders, you brats!’

“Here.” Damian walked in with both bags of peas and actual ice packs. “It should be better after you have rested, but if you don’t, mother knows an acupuncture treatment that would help.”

Jason shivered as they applied the ice packs.

“Ugh, fuck off.”

“Just sleep, you raging asshole.” Tim said, sweeping a blanket onto the crime lord. “Oracle’s got Steph covering your routes until you’re better.”

Somehow, surrounded by his brothers, Jason finally found the energy to fondly flip them the bird and fall asleep.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

I may have many issues with Countdown but I can appreciate it for a few things and that includes Jason meeting murder Batman* (Earth-51 Batman)

I mean to start Jason clearly doesn't agree with the guy. He's very not into the whole "let's kill all these guys" attitude and thinks murder batman is crazy (and outright says so) But also. He puts on the suit he's given that this Batman made, he's fights with him. He mourns him. He's upset with the death. After Batman failed him on his own earth he meets one that accepts him

And augh. They haunt me. Aughh I wish I could write I wanna write and get to see a fic about them so so bad

(do Not tell me to just write it anyway please amd thank you. auuaaoighh)

Because like! The way murder batman was SO quick to start seeing Jason as his own dead Jason and start referring to him as such.

The way murder batman never got to know about Jason's Red Hooding but AUGH. Can you just IMAGINE the moral dilemma he'd have with that??! He probably would've killed a crime lord Jason before ever learning his identity, or learning it too late. Aughhhaoujgh

They had to kill off murderbatman he wouldve been too powerful otherwise. For example I think he wouldve Not been willing to let go of this living Jason

Multiverse kidnapping story where after meeting and then leaving, murder bat finds our Jason amd just. Fucking takes him and pretends it's his Jason. Augh that'd be so fun

This page is everything ^

Theyre so so normal about eachother. I'm chewing on them like a dog with its favorite toy btw

[hijinxinprogress]

YJs ability to piss people off occasionally backfires (But they’re still gonna do it again)

Imagine YJ pisses off a telepath with a stupid costume so the villain with a habit of telepathically tormenting mfs starts targeting yj by making them hear things they’re afraid of and everyone else’s is like regular run of the mill shit like their family/friends dying or telling them they hate them, sometimes they hear them listing every bad quality they have and every mistake they’ve ever made, they know it’s not still happening but they’ll hear a loved one or a civilian they couldn’t save using their last breath to blame them for their deaths in the middle of the night which is usually followed by the voice that reminds them that ‘they just don’t quite measure up to their peers or predecessors so really, wouldn’t it be for the best if they just disappeared? No one would even notice and if they did, how likely is it that they’d care? What could they possibly be contributing to the world that can’t be done better by someone else?’ And that’s normal for yj but what causes them to lose it is when they start to hear the sound of someone clicking their tongue and humming in disapproval whenever they’re doing something ill advised but they only figure out who fears that sound when Anita loses her shit so they find her and they’re like wtf?? you live like this?? but she’s fucking petrified and muttering to herself

[notfeelingthyaster]

i think jason's probable death in gotham wars is going to either be a non-continuity death (like dick's deaths) or a "death" (like tim's deaths) in which he is not really dead, just like, in stasis or smh

(or they said we'll dig deeper this time so you can't dig out and offed him again)

[pocketramblr]

I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)

In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.

They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....

The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.

But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing

Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels

[anthyies]

reading steph batgirl and red robin concurrently to experience peak emotional whiplash. true to the experience of reading dc in 2009

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

or, when bruce puts tim and steph in charge of damage control when the financial records leak

TRANSCRIPT:

TIM: no i’m just saying i know he pulls lots of babes-

STEPH: *wheeze* pulls lots of babes? *wheeze*

TIM: come on stephanie we both know this-

STEPH: *wheeze* bruce wayne is a babe magnet

TIM: i- no- *laughing*

STEPH: no go on what were you saying

TIM: i was gonna say maybe he’s looking for real  conversation- i can’t say this stuff about my dad, jesus christ, you should’ve asked jay on here

STEPH: well i wanted the scoop straight from the source- or like right next to the source, in the bedroom like 2 rooms over

TIM: you could’ve asked him yourself- it’s not like he can unpay your tuition

STEPH: maybe- *wheeze* maybe, bruce wayne is my sugar- *muffled screaming*

TIM: no absolutely not don’t you dare- 

TIM: *whispers in the background* so just say that-

STEPH: bruce wayne is like my weird uncle figure, yes he does give me money, but only because i will kick him in the face if he doesn’t

TIM: steph has been silently robbing us for years and no one is saying anything-

STEPH: guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

STEPH: you know- cause my father is a supervillain

TIM: *groan* we know

DUKE, behind the camera: everyone knows- there’s a series on this channel called ‘my dad is a supervillain and a little bitch’

STEPH: am i wrong though?

TIM: no, but seriously- bruce is just doing this to make gotham a better place- the police department is just a pile of flaming shit that also takes bribes and it’s no secret that crime has been down since batman came to town-

STEPH: omg that rhymes

TIM: the martha wayne foundation and bruce himself donate hundreds of millions of dollars to projects in this city alone- and gotham has been better for it- poverty is down, employment is up- and batman has been making the city safer, so it would make sense for bruce to help batman-

STEPH: i love the theory but i’m sticking to bruce wayne is the batman’s sugar daddy

DUKE, behind the camera: ditto

TIM: fair enough