#so tim is tim about it so now you have batman and robin but it’s dick and tim

[regret-with-a-u]

Absolute Batman has blown me away. It's been too long since I ever felt like this. My heart is pumping with exciment and my skin is crawling with anticipation.

They finally managed to make an au of Bruce that still is him in his core.

I loved all absolute variants that came out and I'm shitting rainbows waiting for my boy Wally. But I want to focus on something that makes me lose my fucking mind.

There is a "Red Hood" gang in the story, and we all know the og red hood, we do... BUT! I have au ideas <3

what if all the other Robins are also their own character, and they will meet with the Batman later.

What if instead of his sons, they are going to be his lil anoying ass brothers? And sisters??

I don't have the all the connections yet but I have been making myself go crazy with ideas:

As we know Bruce is 2004 - 24 year old. (Cursed Cursed, Cursed)

Dick Grayson - Owlman - 21

After his parents death it was the court that got a hold of him. Bruce was still an angsty teenager when this happened.

later after meeting with the Bat and becoming his own person he becomes the first real Robin of Gotham.

Im gonna also add Wally situation onto him too. I love myself some good ol' birdflash lol.

Jason Todd - Leader of the Red Hood gang - 18 (people think he is 24, voice moderator)

After growing up in crime alley and dealing with abuse all his childhood he grows up to be the red hood, a gang focuses on lowering crime around the city. Trying to take care of each other.

I hadn't thought more about Jason yet, was focused too much on Dick. But I am thinking about Dick as owlman had an another kid with him growing up, and then later helped him escape.

Jason as ex talon could be cool ¯\_( ツ )_/¯

Ps. I aalso would love to see Jason becoming a Bat, "Blood Bat" some people are calling him "Blood Bath" because of the carnage he leaves behind. Maybe I can do that while under the red hood tomfuckery is happening?? Man.

Tim Drake - Don't have a hero name yet lol - 15

Growing up Tim doesn't has any heroes to look up, so he decides to step up himself. No matter what universe he can't help himself to help people.

so using his tech abilities, his stalker ass and his detective skills that came with birth he starts selling out info to police, hood, unknowingly to the owl and knowingly to the bat.

the second Bruce comes in the picture Tim can't sit still. He needs to find out everything. Then he decides to help him. Like how Barbara goes around as Oracle. But I need Tim to be able to fight. Maybe later the killing joke would affect different people but for now I want younger Tim being literally crazy all over the place lol. For now I am side eyeing Selina LMAOOO

I aalso want TimKon but it's gonna be hard to pull it out yet so maybe they meet when Tim is 18-19?? Like with Birdflash, not childhood friends ¯\_( ツ )_/¯

Barbara Gordon - Batwoman - 26

She is a police officer in this universe, and she looks up at batman. I don't know how much younger she is to Bruce. Maybe she is older. But I need her to just find Bruce in one of his safe houses and just straight up tells him "Imma join you <3"

Duke, Cassandra and Stephanie, I still don't have real ideas to put out yet for them. I want Duke to be still signal, Cass to be black bat and Stephanie as the Batgirl.

I don't even know what I will do with Kathy-

......Okay so now she is a he younger cousin and she is going to be Batgirl for a brief moment where Stephanie "dies" maybe maybe maybe. Hmmm. She can later get a different name??? Man the whole family tree is fucked <3

And my funniest idea:

Damian "Wayne - al Ghul" - Robin - 10

Hear me out! I want Damian to be NOT blood related to Bruce at all. He is the one who gets adopted in this story. And after everyone meets his angry ass they try to stop him becoming a vigilante. They fail.

And Dick gives the name Robin to him as he becomes Nightwing. At this point the DC trinity would have already made Absolute Justice League, meaning there would be time for Dick and Clark bonding <3

I just find the idea of Damian being adopted in this universe sweet. It doesn't matter to his blood, it never did, once a son always a son.

These are my ideas for now, I also have funny-angsty crossover ideas. Like Absolutely Robin!Dick meeting other Nightwing variants or their families.

"Fuck you mean Bruce is my father- WHY WAS I IN SPEEDO?!?"

"YOU CHOSE THAT!"

"AND YOU LET ME?!?"

Ehehehhe.

Anygays.

Too much ideas, too much potential. I needed to get this out here before we meet the Absolute Batfam and all my ideas flutter into the black hole that is my pc uwu.

What should I name this au? HMMMM-

[gothamite-rambler]

Red Robin: I feel like my parents dying holds more weight to me over yours dying.

Batman (shocked then angry): ...What the hell?! I asked you if the sandwich I bought you was good and you responded with that ludicrous?!

Red Robin (munching on his sandwich): Uh-huh, and I'd say it again.

Batman (putting the car in park): Alright, elaborate, I want to hear how you had a more impactful parent death to me!

Red Robin: I lost my parents in two separate incidents. My mom wasn't near me. I found out she died from water poisoning. Then my dad died, but wait, not before sending me a message that he loved me. I got there too late and spiraled into a deep depression. Your parents got shot in an alleyway. The end!

Batman (snapping): It's not a contest!

Red Robin: Oh, don't act like you haven't use this as a defense or sympathy card. You managed to avoid a work mandated laser tag event because and I quote "It brings back painful memories." Did you leave out a part where they got shot with lasers?!

Batman: Oh yeah well ... I lost them at eight!

Red Robin: I lost mine two years apart from each other! I'm not dismissing what you went through, I get what you went through, but as Duke said once "You're laying it on a little too thick with the orphan's you raised!"

Batman (grumbling): It's still tragic.

Red Robin: B, if we're going by age and tragic logic, Dick lost his parents in a way worse way! They were shot while on a tight rope. Dick saw them slam to the ground at eight! He doesn't go around saying, "Oh well my parents died so you have to listen to me!" You can't just say your parents dying had more impact when four out of five of your sons lost their parents too! And yes I'm including Duke!

Batman jaw dropped, but he turned to face the window, too stunned to speak. He clamped his mouth shut in shock when he heard a voice through the communication device.

Nightwing: You're gonna need aloe vera for that burn!

Nightwing's cackle rung loud through the earpiece making the dark knight slam his fist on the steering wheel.

Red Hood (chiming in on his ear piece): Damn, he's been holding that in for a while. About time!

Signal (amusement as he spoke through his comm): Now see that's why Tim is my dude! Cause where's the lie? What did he say that was a lie?

Batman (clutching the steering wheel): I'm going to let this slide, because I'm too exhausted to come up with a defense.

Spoiler (on the comm): Bull crap!

Batman: I don't need everyone's input!

[bigscotman]

We know that originally Bruce's worst fear, the thing that fear toxin would show him, was Jason's death back when Jason was Robin. Bruce's worst fear came true thanks to the fuckin clown soooo

What if because Bruce experienced his worst fear he was basically just immune to fear toxin until Tim showed up and Bruce actually started mentoring him?

Say it's a couple months after Jason's death, Scarecrow broke out of Arkham and is about to put his next big plan into action, Bruce shows up at the warehouse Scarecrow is at and takes out the guards with extreme prejudice. Scarecrow is getting more scared than usual because post-Jason's-death Bruce you know? So he tips over a full barrel of his latest batch, the strongest one he's ever mixed, while Bruce is walking towards him without a respirator or anything. Instead of putting on some sort of filter Batman instead inhales deep and keeps walking towards Scarecrow as if he didn't just fill his lungs with highly potent fear toxin and the worst part is, he doesn't even flinch. At that moment Scarecrow realises, as Bruce strangles him, that Batman has no fear anymore. Joker made him live his worst fear and now the rest of them have to deal with a Batman that is angry and incapable of even the smallest amount of fear.

When Scarecrow is returned to Arkham oddly unharmed he doesn't break out again for a couple years even when offered the chance. Why? Because his only weapon is fear. He isn't a fighter, never has been never will be, so what's the point in breaking out when his singular weapon doesn't work against his enemy? It's only after he hears about the new Robin does he start planning his escape and even then he only truly starts when he finds out that Batman and the new Robin have a similar relationship to the previous one because if they don't he's still disarmed.

[theerurishipper]

Tim Drake, for no reason at all:

Dick Grayson, Tim's big brother in every conceivable way for the past several years:

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

Somebody has definitely said this before but au where bruce kills the joker and gets arrested by the un (can the un arrest people?) so when dick get back from space he finds his brother’s dead, his dad’s an international criminal, and the batman is a 13-year-old boy.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

When Superboy Prime accidentally resurrected Jason Todd, it was described something like the universe righting itself. And, from a purely physical point of view, Jason never died. It brought his body back to it's state before his death, his injuries there but with just enough he could still survive

So, now I'm imagining like. What if there was an au where it was more than Jason just physically "never dying," but it affected memories of those around as well

Joker not remembering killing him, Dick not remembering hearing the news, Batman and Gotham not remembering the 6 months between Jason's death and resurrection, but not thinking much if it

Its all as if Jason never died

[deadsetobsessions]

I am waiting for my terrible decisions to come feast upon my corpse (I had four slices of mozzarella cheese and I am wildly lactose intolerant) so tall can have this thing I wrote while my bowels attempted to curdle up and wither.

——

Jason laid face down on the floor of his safe house, cheek miserably smushed to the carpet as his joints screamed in growing agony.

“Oh, shit, you good, little wing?”

Jason groaned, not even having enough energy to flip his face to the other side as a pair of boots came into view. Dick.

“Jason, are you okay? Where’s the wound?”

“C’mon Todd, even Timothy knows the importance of addressing open wounds.” Shit, the brat was here too.

“You coming down with something?” Tim’s voice asked from his other side.

Great, Jason grumbled, the whole idiot platoon is here.

A warm hand shook his shoulder, Dick’s concerned mug showing up in Jason’s- huh, when did it get this blurry?- sight. His face scrunched up in worry.

“You look stupid.” Jason said, though it sounded more like ‘yew loo stew pud’ with his face still smushed onto the ground. Reluctantly, he added, “No wound.”

“Tim, help me out.”

Jason groaned when the world spun as Tim and Dick hefted him up.

“What’s happening, Jason? Talk to us.” Tim said sharply, knowing that the tone would get Jason to respond.

“Growing pains.” Jason mumbled. “Laz pits side effects.”

“I see,” Damian suddenly said, and suddenly Jason was so much more grateful for his presence. The demon brat understood. “Richard, Drake, get him to bed. I will retrieve the ice.”

It probably spoke levels of how bad he looked that Jason’s brothers didn’t bother to even comment on the brat’s orders. Jason was lugged to his bed and tucked in.

“Sorry,” he mumbled at Dick.

“For what?” Dick patted him on the head as Tim went to get a glass of water and the painkillers he stored in the bathroom mirror cabinet.

“I’m heavy. You have old man knees.”

Divk gasped, mock offended. “Excuse me?! I’m not old! You’re fine if you’re talking shit, Jay.”

“Feels like shit…” Jay paused. “Not as shit as your gray hairs.”

“Tim! Jason’s bullying me!”

“Gray is a good color on you, I think,” Tim said, walking back in with water and meds. They helped Jason drink the meds as Dick alternated between whining about not being old and indignantly sayin ‘respect your elders, you brats!’

“Here.” Damian walked in with both bags of peas and actual ice packs. “It should be better after you have rested, but if you don’t, mother knows an acupuncture treatment that would help.”

Jason shivered as they applied the ice packs.

“Ugh, fuck off.”

“Just sleep, you raging asshole.” Tim said, sweeping a blanket onto the crime lord. “Oracle’s got Steph covering your routes until you’re better.”

Somehow, surrounded by his brothers, Jason finally found the energy to fondly flip them the bird and fall asleep.

[hijinxinprogress]

YJs ability to piss people off occasionally backfires (But they’re still gonna do it again)

Imagine YJ pisses off a telepath with a stupid costume so the villain with a habit of telepathically tormenting mfs starts targeting yj by making them hear things they’re afraid of and everyone else’s is like regular run of the mill shit like their family/friends dying or telling them they hate them, sometimes they hear them listing every bad quality they have and every mistake they’ve ever made, they know it’s not still happening but they’ll hear a loved one or a civilian they couldn’t save using their last breath to blame them for their deaths in the middle of the night which is usually followed by the voice that reminds them that ‘they just don’t quite measure up to their peers or predecessors so really, wouldn’t it be for the best if they just disappeared? No one would even notice and if they did, how likely is it that they’d care? What could they possibly be contributing to the world that can’t be done better by someone else?’ And that’s normal for yj but what causes them to lose it is when they start to hear the sound of someone clicking their tongue and humming in disapproval whenever they’re doing something ill advised but they only figure out who fears that sound when Anita loses her shit so they find her and they’re like wtf?? you live like this?? but she’s fucking petrified and muttering to herself

[notfeelingthyaster]

i think jason's probable death in gotham wars is going to either be a non-continuity death (like dick's deaths) or a "death" (like tim's deaths) in which he is not really dead, just like, in stasis or smh

(or they said we'll dig deeper this time so you can't dig out and offed him again)

[pocketramblr]

I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)

In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.

They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....

The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.

But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing

Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels

[anthyies]

reading steph batgirl and red robin concurrently to experience peak emotional whiplash. true to the experience of reading dc in 2009

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

or, when bruce puts tim and steph in charge of damage control when the financial records leak

TRANSCRIPT:

TIM: no i’m just saying i know he pulls lots of babes-

STEPH: *wheeze* pulls lots of babes? *wheeze*

TIM: come on stephanie we both know this-

STEPH: *wheeze* bruce wayne is a babe magnet

TIM: i- no- *laughing*

STEPH: no go on what were you saying

TIM: i was gonna say maybe he’s looking for real  conversation- i can’t say this stuff about my dad, jesus christ, you should’ve asked jay on here

STEPH: well i wanted the scoop straight from the source- or like right next to the source, in the bedroom like 2 rooms over

TIM: you could’ve asked him yourself- it’s not like he can unpay your tuition

STEPH: maybe- *wheeze* maybe, bruce wayne is my sugar- *muffled screaming*

TIM: no absolutely not don’t you dare- 

TIM: *whispers in the background* so just say that-

STEPH: bruce wayne is like my weird uncle figure, yes he does give me money, but only because i will kick him in the face if he doesn’t

TIM: steph has been silently robbing us for years and no one is saying anything-

STEPH: guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

STEPH: you know- cause my father is a supervillain

TIM: *groan* we know

DUKE, behind the camera: everyone knows- there’s a series on this channel called ‘my dad is a supervillain and a little bitch’

STEPH: am i wrong though?

TIM: no, but seriously- bruce is just doing this to make gotham a better place- the police department is just a pile of flaming shit that also takes bribes and it’s no secret that crime has been down since batman came to town-

STEPH: omg that rhymes

TIM: the martha wayne foundation and bruce himself donate hundreds of millions of dollars to projects in this city alone- and gotham has been better for it- poverty is down, employment is up- and batman has been making the city safer, so it would make sense for bruce to help batman-

STEPH: i love the theory but i’m sticking to bruce wayne is the batman’s sugar daddy

DUKE, behind the camera: ditto

TIM: fair enough

[cateyam]

Apparently its canon that:

Dick and Jason look alike.

Dick is basically Bruce's carbon copy.

Can you imagine how many times Dick have been mistaken as Jason and Bruce? Or Jason being mistaken as Dick?

Dick, wearing a black tank top and sweats— looking exactly like Bruce, walks into the kitchen:

Damian: Morning, Father.

Dick, turns around, expecting to see Bruce behind him: ?????

——————

20 year old Dick casually picking up his 13 year old brother Jason from school:

Random teacher: Ah, Mr. Wayne. Are you here to pick Jason up?

Dick: Mr— It's me, Dick??? Dick Grayson??????

——————

Dick walking into the Manor after Bruce and Jason having an argument about something:

Bruce: Jason? You're back?

Dick in a leather jacket: He's out killing people wdym??????

——————

Dick just wanting to get some coffee, gets stopped by paparazzi, thinking he was Bruce:

Random reporter: Mr. Wayne!

Dick: STOP CONFUSING ME AS MY DAD

——————

Dick hanging out with Tim:

Random passerby whispering to their friend: That's Bruce Wayne and his son Timothy Drake!

Dick, who could hear it: ...

Tim: Calm down. Calm your tits.

——————

Jason walking into the kitchen, Bruce and Tim are there, both have been awake for 72 hours now:

Bruce: Morning Dick.

Jason: Did you just call me a dick????

Tim: But— that's your name?

Jason: My name is Jason. I'm NOT DICK.

——————

Jason and Dick getting de-aged, both wearing their Robin costumes:

Cassandra: Sooooo... which one is Dick and which one is Jason?

Bruce: I— I never realised they look so similar.

Duke: The angry and feral one must be Jason. Dick's the smiley one.

Tim: Nope. Dick's the feral. Jason's the happy. Been stalking them for years, I would know.

——————

Dick crying hysterically: Do I look old enough to be mistaken as Bruce?!?!?!?!

Bruce: *glares*

Jason: Exactly! I don't look that old to look like Dick.

Dick: FUCK YOU

——————

But of course, sometimes it's an advantage. Dick could get away with things like being Batman, getting his brothers out of trouble, etc.

While Jason could get away with being Nightwing and stuff. (ehem that time when he dressed up as Nightwing and killed people in the suit.)

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Unhinged Feral Boyfriends

The whole Batfam is under the assumption that Damian is the feral child. The assassin, the wild one, the demon brat that bites and stabs. Jason usually takes the second place, what with guns, heads in the duffelbag, and being a crime lord.

But Tim? Come on, even Duke is more feral than him. Tim is a nerd, and he keeps to his own devices most of the time, and, sure, sometimes he is plenty unhinged. But he's okay. Seventh place on the unofficial List of Feral Bats.

He's got a boyfriend lately, have you heard? Tim hadn't brought him to the manor for dinner yet, but each and every Bat and Bird have already seen the guy - in person or through the surveillance cameras or background checks, doesn't matter. Either way, Daniel Fenton is quite literally a ray of sunshine.

They look very cute together.

That is, until one day, they witness Danny and Tim rip Joker's ribcage out of his chest.

Nothing could have prepared them for it. It was just another patrol, just another night of fighting crime, nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, Joker was on the loose, but so far, no one has tracked the Clown down or seen any of his goons.

But then, Red Robin's tracker went offline. The Bats started searching for him immediately - his last recorded location, his trackers, his route, everything. But when they managed to find him...

Well.

They didn't only find him in that warehouse.

They found Joker, choking on the ground and clawing at his own neck, like trying to force some air inside his lungs. Over him, Danny was squatting on the ground, his eyes thoughtful and not worried in the slightest, tapping on his chin. And, just a step behind him, Red Robin is holding a fucking ribcage in his hands, studying it with calm curiosity.

"Should we put it back now?" Tim asks, relaxed and easy, like they are speaking about whether they should or should not get another box of cereal in a store.

Danny shrugs, "I mean, if you want to. It's not like he's gonna die in the next ten or so minutes, you've got time."

And then, as Batman makes the slightest of noises, Danny's head snaps to him, and the boy smiles, cheerful and bright. Like the ray of sunshine he is.

"Hi, Bats!" Then he blinks and looks down to Joker, who is already frothing at the mouth, "Oh, don't worry about him, he won't die. Red's just putting a tracker in his manibrium."

"I figured it'd be easier to find him next time if he can't get the tracker out," Tim nods, unbothered, as he is tinkering with the ribcage in his hands before passing it back to Danny, "Okay, done. Put it back."

Danny takes the ribcage and presses it to Joker's chest. And, before they know it, the bones sink inside the man, like a hand in a bowl of sand.

Danny wipes his hands on his jeans and stands. Tim smiles at the Bats, none of whom know what to say and where to start.

The next day, Joker is back at Arkham with a tracker in his sternum, Danny is invited to dinner in the manor, and Tim takes the first place of the Feral List, with a note 'never leave unattended when Danny is nearby'.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

I may have many issues with Countdown but I can appreciate it for a few things and that includes Jason meeting murder Batman* (Earth-51 Batman)

I mean to start Jason clearly doesn't agree with the guy. He's very not into the whole "let's kill all these guys" attitude and thinks murder batman is crazy (and outright says so) But also. He puts on the suit he's given that this Batman made, he's fights with him. He mourns him. He's upset with the death. After Batman failed him on his own earth he meets one that accepts him

And augh. They haunt me. Aughh I wish I could write I wanna write and get to see a fic about them so so bad

(do Not tell me to just write it anyway please amd thank you. auuaaoighh)

Because like! The way murder batman was SO quick to start seeing Jason as his own dead Jason and start referring to him as such.

The way murder batman never got to know about Jason's Red Hooding but AUGH. Can you just IMAGINE the moral dilemma he'd have with that??! He probably would've killed a crime lord Jason before ever learning his identity, or learning it too late. Aughhhaoujgh

They had to kill off murderbatman he wouldve been too powerful otherwise. For example I think he wouldve Not been willing to let go of this living Jason

Multiverse kidnapping story where after meeting and then leaving, murder bat finds our Jason amd just. Fucking takes him and pretends it's his Jason. Augh that'd be so fun

This page is everything ^

Theyre so so normal about eachother. I'm chewing on them like a dog with its favorite toy btw

[bananapeeeeellssss]

I see your Bruce Wayne is dating Batman rumors and raise you this:

Everyone knows that Bruce Wayne is dating Batman. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Red Hood. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Bruce Wayne’s dead son. Everyone knows Red Hood hates Batman. This is all a very open secret. Everyone knows Tim Drake and Red Robin have a very public beef with one another. And that Red Hood used to have a very public (but much more violent) beef with the third Robin.

This leads to the general accepted truth being that Red Hood hates Batman because he is fucking his dad, and Tim Drake and Red Robin dislike each other because Tim’s brother beat up Red Robin, and, once again, Red Robin’s dad is fucking Tim’s. Everyone feels a little bad for Red Robin, being at the end of both Red Hood’s and Tim Drake’s distaste, because the former is a crime lord and the latter is Timothy Jackson Drake.

This, naturally, reaches the JL whom does not know Batman’s identity yet. Green Arrow makes a passing comment about having also fucked Wayne, which Batman overhears. Cue absolute bat confusion, which he does not show. And that was how the great Batman found out that he accidentally 100% enforced the rumors that he was dating himself by the way he replied to reporters strange questions that in hindsight were so incredibly obvious.

This whole time, Young Justice is having the time of their lives (while also becoming increasingly concerned) as they watch Tim switch between devices as he replies to himself on different accounts on Twitter to further his own feud with Red Robin.

And Jason is. Not sure how he feels. On one hand, Bruce is now very uncomfortable about many, many things. And people yell at Batman when he starts treating Jason like his son (especially when he yells “I’m not your son!” Because what kind of boyfriend would try to make their boyfriend’s kid their own when they clearly don’t want to be). That’s an upside. But on the other, this implies that he is Bruce’s son. And that brings up a lot of feelings he doesn’t want to deal with. And back on that first hand, people have mostly stopped making thirst traps of his dad (gross). And on the second once more, they have started shipping Red Robin and Tim.

And the others are just sitting back and enjoying the ride (they are absolutely a part of this, but I’m too lazy to type out and come up with ideas for the rest)