#steph: your dad stubbed his toe yesterday and cried for 30 minutes

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

or, when bruce puts tim and steph in charge of damage control when the financial records leak

TRANSCRIPT:

TIM: no i’m just saying i know he pulls lots of babes-

STEPH: *wheeze* pulls lots of babes? *wheeze*

TIM: come on stephanie we both know this-

STEPH: *wheeze* bruce wayne is a babe magnet

TIM: i- no- *laughing*

STEPH: no go on what were you saying

TIM: i was gonna say maybe he’s looking for real  conversation- i can’t say this stuff about my dad, jesus christ, you should’ve asked jay on here

STEPH: well i wanted the scoop straight from the source- or like right next to the source, in the bedroom like 2 rooms over

TIM: you could’ve asked him yourself- it’s not like he can unpay your tuition

STEPH: maybe- *wheeze* maybe, bruce wayne is my sugar- *muffled screaming*

TIM: no absolutely not don’t you dare- 

TIM: *whispers in the background* so just say that-

STEPH: bruce wayne is like my weird uncle figure, yes he does give me money, but only because i will kick him in the face if he doesn’t

TIM: steph has been silently robbing us for years and no one is saying anything-

STEPH: guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

STEPH: you know- cause my father is a supervillain

TIM: *groan* we know

DUKE, behind the camera: everyone knows- there’s a series on this channel called ‘my dad is a supervillain and a little bitch’

STEPH: am i wrong though?

TIM: no, but seriously- bruce is just doing this to make gotham a better place- the police department is just a pile of flaming shit that also takes bribes and it’s no secret that crime has been down since batman came to town-

STEPH: omg that rhymes

TIM: the martha wayne foundation and bruce himself donate hundreds of millions of dollars to projects in this city alone- and gotham has been better for it- poverty is down, employment is up- and batman has been making the city safer, so it would make sense for bruce to help batman-

STEPH: i love the theory but i’m sticking to bruce wayne is the batman’s sugar daddy

DUKE, behind the camera: ditto

TIM: fair enough

[batarangsoundsdumb]

or, when bruce puts tim and steph in charge of damage control when the financial records leak

TRANSCRIPT:

TIM: no i’m just saying i know he pulls lots of babes-

STEPH: *wheeze* pulls lots of babes? *wheeze*

TIM: come on stephanie we both know this-

STEPH: *wheeze* bruce wayne is a babe magnet

TIM: i- no- *laughing*

STEPH: no go on what were you saying

TIM: i was gonna say maybe he’s looking for real  conversation- i can’t say this stuff about my dad, jesus christ, you should’ve asked jay on here

STEPH: well i wanted the scoop straight from the source- or like right next to the source, in the bedroom like 2 rooms over

TIM: you could’ve asked him yourself- it’s not like he can unpay your tuition

STEPH: maybe- *wheeze* maybe, bruce wayne is my sugar- *muffled screaming*

TIM: no absolutely not don’t you dare- 

TIM: *whispers in the background* so just say that-

STEPH: bruce wayne is like my weird uncle figure, yes he does give me money, but only because i will kick him in the face if he doesn’t

TIM: steph has been silently robbing us for years and no one is saying anything-

STEPH: guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

STEPH: you know- cause my father is a supervillain

TIM: *groan* we know

DUKE, behind the camera: everyone knows- there’s a series on this channel called ‘my dad is a supervillain and a little bitch’

STEPH: am i wrong though?

TIM: no, but seriously- bruce is just doing this to make gotham a better place- the police department is just a pile of flaming shit that also takes bribes and it’s no secret that crime has been down since batman came to town-

STEPH: omg that rhymes

TIM: the martha wayne foundation and bruce himself donate hundreds of millions of dollars to projects in this city alone- and gotham has been better for it- poverty is down, employment is up- and batman has been making the city safer, so it would make sense for bruce to help batman-

STEPH: i love the theory but i’m sticking to bruce wayne is the batman’s sugar daddy

DUKE, behind the camera: ditto

TIM: fair enough