#so they’ll have to wait until I put together another list

[skinnyscottishbloke]

soundtracks that are guaranteed to make me cry immediately (orchestral edition)

listen. liisstteennnnn. concerning hobbits still gets me. right in the heart. if that track comes on I am crying. 100%. this soundtrack is the absolute pinnacle of movie music. it is the GOAT!!

the two socks theme 😭😭😭 when we watched this film in hs I literally had to get myself excused to the library because even thinking about the music made me absolutely bawl my fucking eyes out. john barry you GENIUS.

LIZ ON TOP OF THE WORLD. PERIOD. also dawn and mr. darcy striding across the moors in the fog godDAMN. so soft and beautiful.

You’ll *sniffles* Be *sniffles more* In *sobs* MY *BAWLS* HEAARRTTTTT 😭😭😭 Phil Collins didn’t have to go so hard but like, we love that he did. when we’re not sobbing.

there’s literally a track called cry okay? and it lives up to it’s full potential by making me get all weepy. but in like, a happy way. this movie is so lovely and so is the music!

no joke i only need to listen to 2 seconds of the opening track to tear up. idk why. just thinking about the thousands of years humans have spent exploring the ocean i suppose…and don’t even get me started on we know the way!!!! it’s a beautiful happy sort of crying that happens with this one.

if you can make it thru now we are free without crying, props to you man. couldn’t be me. honestly this whole thing is right up there with lotr as the best soundtrack of all time in terms of epicness and emotional impact. hans zimmer man. hans fucking zimmer.

mr. murray gold you know full well what you did when you fucking WRECKED US ALL with the doomsday track. like. W R E C K E D. full on gasping gulping sobs. and then didn’t let us breathe with this is gallifrey our childhood our home. or song of freedom. can’t wait to see what brilliant things you’ll be making us sob to next.

[senawashere]

We're on this together. (Chapter I)

Bradley Bradshaw × Fem!Wife!Reader

Summary: Nobody warned you for how hard it is to become a mother,same for Bradley.

TW: infertility,mentions of miscarrige,mentions of hospital,mentions of getting pregnant,mentiones of ivf. Mostly angst.

Tears were streaming down your face,your hands were trembling. Searching for Bradley's number in your contact list has never been this difficult.

Your fingers slid across parts of the screen you didn't want to touch, making your frustration even worse.

The phone line rang at a deafening volume. Once, twice, three times until it goes to voicemail.

His stupid voicemail.

"Hi,its me Bradley. Please drop your message!"

Taking this as a sign, you chose not to try again.

After all, talking to Bradley about it right now would only make him worry for nothing, considering he was busy on deployment and miles away from you. He was about to return this week.

It wasn't something he could solve. Maybe it was but not right now.

Within a few minutes your phone rang. As his name popped up on the screen, a heart emoji next to it and his photo of him grinning stupidly, you felt terrible for doing this to him.

Not only did you let down your own dreams, you were about to let down his too.

You replied, remaining silent. You expected your voice to sound like a lump in your throat.

"Baby, are you there? I couldn't get to the phone in time at first."

You were motionless, your lack of words showed him that. "I'm fine", giving yourself some time, you suddenly started to feel everything you didn't feel until you got home.

"I was at the doctor's today."

"Why are you talking like it's the end of the world? Are you okay?"

Throughout his breathing, it was easy to imagine him even stopping whatever he was doing to pay better attention to you; Not because it wasn't there before. You should have called Penny or someone, they would know how to take care of you.

"Wait, is it about babies? Tell me you're joking," he finished with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You could imagine and hear it perfectly.

In the past, when you received good news, you would pretend that something bad was coming, now it's just another thing you regret doing.

You were selfish for talking to him, he was so far away; You could talk to him about it when he got home.

Talking and doing this and that now would cause him more anxiety than he ever had in his hectic daily tour life. Still, he was the only one you needed.

"No, quite the opposite."

The call suffered a long pause, filled with his deep sighs and persistent tears streaming down his cheeks.

You didn't let a single tear fall until you got home, but did you verbalize it? Putting it into words made things different; it felt more real.

"Fuck," he mumbled, clearly a little out of place.

“I can't have kids, Bradley,” your words were interrupted by the growl you were trying to hold back.

He could tell when you were talking to him that everything hit you at once. Over the years, he was able to recognize even small details.

''I'm the reason we tried and it never worked. I cursed it."

"No, baby," he took a deep breath. "Please don't blame yourself. You know it's not your fault." You ran your fingers desperately through your hair; This is what it must be like to feel useless on the phone. Just what you imagined before you made the call. It was bad to announce this to him. "Are you alone? I can ask someone to check on you. They’ll do that, okay?

“Please,” You didn't want to spend the rest of the day by yourself. Also, even though you didn't want to talk to anyone but Bradley, you knew Penny would understand you better, she knew how to make you feel less bad, it would be nice to be around her. And once she mentioned she went through something like that so maybe she would understand you.

Being alone with your harsh thoughts will not be a good option anyway. "I thought about calling her, but I finally gave up, I didn't know what to do, I still don't. Calling you still doesn't seem like a good idea, but I didn't know what to do."

Your weak voice was killing Bradley. If it made him sad to hear that, he couldn't imagine what it was like for you.

"You did great, baby, this is a tough situation but we're on this journey together. You can ask for anything baby, remember?" He smiled, a muffled smile came over the line; It made you feel a little better.

"We can still have children, you know that."

You wanted to tell him that what works for others may not work for you, that your condition may not be that malleable because your condition is genetic. Still, you didn't know if they were true or not, all your thoughts might just be the result of your momentary frustration, but they might also be true.

You need to talk to Bradley about this, everything that's going on in his mind. You didn't want to do this over the phone anymore.

“We can try,” you sniffled, still avoiding the tears you didn't even know were falling. "We can try." You repeated, trying to convince yourself.

"Talk to me, baby. Try to distract yourself a bit, huh? Please. Do you want me to turn the call off? Maybe you can take a long bath with your favorite bubbles or eat something different. That might help."

Even though it sounded wrong, his desperation to help you was adorable. Talking to him made everything perfect, his voice was soothing, you could hear him talking for hours. Now it was no different.

“I just want to hear your voice,” you said, lying on the cold floor of the main room. It would be nice to sleep. It seemed reasonable to forget the previous hours for a few minutes. "You are busy?"

"Not exactly."

"Then tell me how the mission went."

His voice sounded flatter and softer, you could imagine how uneasy he was even from the phone, it was possible to imagine him striding around the room with the phone in his hand. He talked about the mission details the night before. The contrast of how you described your previous day with what happened at the right moment was painful, happy and suddenly you were breaking it.

Everyone knew that Bradley dreamed of having kids, that kids were running around the house and so were you, you wanted to have kids with him even more but with you he would never have one.

"Can I say something?" You asked, taking a deep breath,cutting through his words. "I love you,I love you so much."

Everything was unfair, you both tried so hard. He, too, had become weak from trying, just like you.

"I love you too, baby. This," you could see him in your mind, pausing and gesturing with his hands, "this won't change anything,okay? I still love you so much as the day i fell in love with you."

"We are on this journey together."

"We are on this journey together.”

—-----

Your body trembled.

A cold hand was wandering around your waist as you slowly opened your eyes, feeling a ridiculous headache fill your vision. Your eyes found Bradley crouched on the ground in front of you, and he looked good compared to you. His eye bags were not purple from the 4 hour sleep he was getting,or his hair wasn't messy after the cold,rainy and windy weather out there.

"What are you doing here?" You frowned. Bradley chuckled as you laid your head down once the headache made you feel like you were going to throw up. He could answer your question but you were flattered, he wouldn't think you noticed he was there because he knew you needed him.

So he ignored it, helping you get up.

"Come on, get up. It's cold on the floor, I'll put you to bed." He tried to get you to stand up for him - he failed; but you shifted your weight onto his body, wrapping your arms around his neck, which he found worriedly cute.

“I need you,” you whispered, drunk and sleepy, burying your face in his coat. Let its scent warm you. He smelled amazing.

It was a relief to hear him say that. He didn't want to get into an argument about how it would affect his job in the near future, as you had fought before for the same reason. "I know my baby." He kissed your hair, hugged your waist, and carried you to your room. “She wants to lay down with me.”

He laid you down on the bed, doing the same as he lay on your side, face up and facing the white ceiling.

They both knew it was necessary to speak, but neither knew who should speak first or what they should speak about.

You ran your fingers over his stomach, placing your palm under his shirt, warming his cold hand with your body. You moved closer to his body, nestling into his side as he wrapped his arm around you.

"Tell me, what's on your mind?" He said without looking directly at you.

"There's a lot", your mere words made his throat dry. “It's weird knowing your body can't do what it's supposed to do, especially when you want it to,” you gasped through sobs, his grip pulling you closer to his chest for comfort. "I'm afraid you'll stay with me and a few years from now you'll realize you made the wrong choice." These words hurt him. It hurt him so much to see you blaming yourself.

He hugged you even tighter and asked you to look at him. "I'm not going to leave you, okay? I'm in love with you. That won't change, and it's not your fault. We can try IVF as if it will work, and it's worked for a few people, and we'll have a happy and healthy baby. We have the money for it. If the money I make as a pilot isn't enough, i can even find a part-time job. I can enter just for you, I'm married to you and I love you so much, why should I leave you?"

There were tears in your eyes and you hoped he was right. "What if it doesn't work? If my body miscarries? If we try and never succeed? I don't know if I'm ready to try again-"

Before you finished your sentence, he grabbed your cheek and gave you a messy kiss. He was far from okay, he was desperate, you didn't know how to decipher whether he was trying to silence you or show his emotions. The salty taste of your tears accompanied by the burning in his throat didn't help at all.

You put your hand on his chest and stop him. He was in distress, he probably wanted to stop you with a waterfall of negative thoughts but he didn't know how.

“I don't want to try, I just don't know what to do yet, and it's killing me right now.” You were complaining.

He kissed your forehead and let you lie down.

"We will find a way. It's still new, we can think better or find other ways. Adoption is also a good option, but of course if everything happens at the right time."

You stayed silent for a while, imagining a parallel where Bradley was right and things worked out. Although you were still not convinced by this, you agreed with him. After all, there would be no other way, and you still wanted to have children.

“Adoption sounds good,” you mumbled against his chest. You hadn't thought about it yet, it hadn't even crossed your mind. “There is no risk and there is no way we can go wrong.”

You felt relieved that he was there for you, guiding you to feel better about this.

"You see?" he asked with what looked like a weak smile. "We'll find a way because I don't plan on having kids with anyone but you, so it has to be with you. Whether you like it or not." He joked, drawing a smile from you as he touched your nose with a wet kiss.

It was incredible how he managed to make even the most difficult moments seem lighter.

"Good, because I still want to have your stupid kids.”

I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsigns-haze @sorchathered @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @lyn-js @bradshawssugarbaby @torchflies @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @bradshawsbaby @hardballoonlove @perfectprettypisces @topguncortez @hangmanapologist @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @promisingyounglady @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @promisingyounglady @lewmagoo and if you are not comfortable please tell me!!

REBLOGS,LIKES AND COMMENTS ARE HIGLY APPERICATED🤍🤍🤍

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv, first I want to thank you for taking time in making darry fics list, I'm new to ao3 and searching fics is little difficult for me, and second I was wondering if you have any recommendations on fics where Harry and Draco are roommates?

Hi friend! I’m happy you find the blog helpful, Drarry is such a massive fandom and ao3 can get a bit overwhelming when you’re exploring from scratch! Love the roommates trope, here are some old and new favourites:

Arms and Elbows by @sorrybutblog (E, 3k)

Or: Draco likes to pick up guys and fist them. Harry is his roommate, but that doesn't mean he should get left out of the fun.

The Real Thing by @skeptiquewrites (M, 5k)

Harry only means to cheer Draco up after a terrible breakup. He doesn't mean to fall in love.

Closer by @pennygalleon (M, 5k)

All who know them are convinced that Harry and Draco are a couple. But that's just ridiculous.

Hourglass Heart by bixgirl (E, 5k)

It only happened once — depending on how Harry counted.

Glowing by @cavendishbutterfly (T, 10k)

Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore.

keep it down, orphaned (E, 13k)

Malfoy’s an inconsiderately loud roommate and Harry’s over it.

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (E, 15k)

As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (M, 29k)

Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden?

Lumos by birdsofshore (E, 41k)

Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.

Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch (T, 43k)

The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.

[landoom]

organised by @33max and @leatherandcherryblossoms - header from them

List of prompts

Day 6: 🧣 Playing in The Snow (sorry I'm late, I'm planning on doing every day but I'll catch up when I have more time at the end of the month)

“Sophia! Wait for Daddy!” Lando calls as he runs behind their daughter who’s giggling loudly.

Oscar knows Lando isn’t running fast enough to catch her but that he will if she ever loses her footing in the snow.

Oscar has trusted Lando probably from their first day as teammate. It was part of what made them work so well together. They trusted each other, as drivers at first.

And then as friends over the months.

Until they took that trust to another level completely… 

Oscar had trusted Lando enough to love him, to come out, to get engaged and to have the cutest little girl…

He watches as Lando and Sophia are now making snow angels. He knows that in a few minutes, they’ll come back to him, like two pathetic wet kittens. They will be cold and Oscar will usher them to the bathroom for a warm shower. And while they’ll shower and put on some comfy dry clothes, he’ll make them some hot cocoa. With whipped cream for Lando and himself. With marshmallows and rainbow sprinkles for Sophia.

And they will cuddle on the couch, watching some cartoons or race re-runs if Sophia asks for those. She will probably spill a bit of cocoa while trying to take the corners like his Daddy and Papa on screen, though.

“Osc! Come over!!” Lando calls from the ground. “Make angels with us…”

“Oh no! You won’t get me all wet and cold!”

“Papa! Please!” Sophia asks and, of course, she’s Lando’s and Oscar is unable to resist those Norris eyes and that heart-shaped smile.

“Okay. I’m making angels…”

And Oscar lies on the ground with the loves of his life.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have the fourth part of our rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis and Harry are friends who become lovers. If you'd like to check out the previous rec lists, you can find part one here, part two here, and part three here. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word.

Happy reading!

1) Truth Or Drink | Explicit | 5,548 words

Harry isn’t nervous. Of course he isn’t. He has done much more intimidating things than this. He has had sex with at least 100 men, and a few women along the way, while being filmed and watched by another 20 pairs of eyes. But for some reason the thought of doing this sounds a hundred times worse. He can feel his insides churning and sweat is starting to form on his palms. Sure, sex is Harry’s job and it has been for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t mind having a crowd of people watching him anymore, and everything is always quite professional. At the beginning things might have been a bit challenging but now it’s almost second nature. This, though, is more distressing than anything he has ever done before.

2) Incalescent | Explicit | 5,649 words

The onset of heat is something Louis still hasn’t learned to recognize.

3) You Step Where Words Are Written, Delicate Under Your Feet | Mature | 6,495 words

Prompt 513: A fic where Louis gives Harry a footjob over his pants while they're watching TV and Harry finds out he has a thing for Louis' feet.

4) Kiss It Better | Mature | 8,080 words

Harry shakes his head with a light laugh and leans down to kiss him again which Louis happily accepts even if he is a little confused by the reaction. "Baby, not a night has gone by that I haven't thought about you in my bed, naked, and begging for my cock." Blinking up at him with wide eyes, Louis opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. While they did flirt a lot over the last few weeks, Harry had never said anything like that. It shocks him as much as it turns him on. "News to me." "I won't lie and say I like random hookups or casual sex, but to me this isn't what that is." Louis swallows thickly, unsure of what to say to that but once again Harry gives him an out. "So, If you want we can stay up here and I can show you all the things I've thought about doing to you." Another kiss, quick and sweet. "Or, we can go back downstairs and we'll dance all night."

5) To Love Without Reason | Explicit | 8,854 words

“Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind. Harry stands in the living room, looking around at Louis’ dwelling. Family pictures placed high on a shelf, certificates of Louis’ practice, and other trinkets that make Harry entirely too nostalgic. “I have to warn you,” Louis says as he puts the kettle on, the water droplets from his hair trickling down the golden skin of his back. “The door jams if you lock it so you'll have to leave it ajar.” Harry acknowledges with a soft hum, too entranced by Louis’ glistening skin to form a coherent reply.

6) I Would Wait Forever (And Ever) | Not Rated | 10,018 words

Louis is brave but has the worst timing in the world, Harry doesn't want to lose his best friend and they just don't communicate enough.

7) If I Saw You Every Day Forever | Mature | 10,685 words

There really should be a statute on the number of dates one can go to because how much longer does Louis have to suffer through this? A modern AU in which Louis might have accidentally signed up for something he probably shouldn't.

8) Wait Until You're Sure | Explicit | 13,042 words

Prompt 465: Louis and Harry are best friends who made a pact. If neither of them has found love by the time they’re 30, then they’ll get married. It was all laughter and fun until Harry realizes they’re celebrating his 30th birthday and in a few months, Louis is gonna be 30 too. So, he struggles to find someone for Louis to avoid being together, but Louis just keeps rejecting all men Harry introduces to him (because he has feeling for him, of course), which really upsets Harry. They argue about that and Louis says something like “wow, it’s that bad to be with me?,” accepting that Harry simply doesn’t feel the same. Louis moves for a couple of months with another friend and Harry has all this time to understand his feelings, realizing that he loves Louis too and wants to be with him. But when he goes to tell him, Louis is already seeing someone else. So what’s Harry gonna do to get Louis back?

9) Candle Wax & Polaroids On The Hardwood Floor | Explicit | 13,082 words

Prompt 463: Clumsy modern witch Louis AU where he accidentally gives his roommate Harry a love potion and he has a crisis because he thinks he will get in trouble with the law for technically poisoning someone and Harry’s heart eyes aren’t helping.

10) Blackberries And Cherries | Explicit | 13,894 words

Louis is a witch and Harry is his human friend. When Harry needs help focusing on his schoolwork, the obvious solution is to ask Louis for a potion. You could say things don’t go quite right.

11) Bend The Rules | Explicit | 16,823 words

Prompt 588: Lous hires a ‘ghost cooking’ service because his family is worried he’s not eating well and he wants to impress them by showing them what an amazing cook he’s become. The service includes sending a discreet cook to your house and have them get everything ready so that you only serve and take the credit. Problem is, his sisters (can be OCs if that’s more comfortable) get to his flat earlier than planned and the actual cook has to hide in the master bathroom for hours. Louis is mortified. The cook is amused and helps him to clean and well. Gives him a thorough service. Feel free to pick your fave as the cook.

12) Swap Me For Your Shadow | Explicit | 16,829 words

If Louis thought being in love with his best friend was a knife that continually twisted into his heart before, it was nothing compared to when Harry started to go around talking about having fallen for someone else. A 5+1 fic; 5 times Louis has to listen to Harry’s vague confessions of love for his ‘omega friend’ and the 1 time Louis snaps and confesses his love for Harry.

13) Sometimes A Fantasy | Explicit | 18,654 words

There’s nothing to complain about when Harry’s walking around their flat with his cock swinging about, nothing to complain about when Harry’s pressing himself up against Louis’ naked backside when he’s reaching for a mug in their cupboards, and nothing to complain about when Harry’s got his hand firm on Louis’ arse when they’re cuddling on the couch. So, in reality, it’s really fucking weird, and Louis knows that. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it.

14) Lonely Shadow Dancers | Explicit |20,838 words

“Mm,” Harry’s arms circle him, and their fumbling somehow turns into a cuddle session, “still can’t believe we’re here together.” Growing up with someone, one tends to become used to another. Used to the mannerisms and personality of them. Used to the changes and the things that stay the same. Harry hit puberty and sprung up into this cheeky curly flirt of an alpha and Louis still hasn’t found the time to get used to it. His stomach flutters and he bites back a stupid smile and wonders if he ever will.

15) The Mess We Created | Explicit | 21,099 words

An innocent one night stand changed into something more than that.

16) Not Safe For Work | Explicit | 23,295 words

I want to drown myself in Harry’s scent until I smell like him. “I think I'm open to trying that too. Sounds very good.” Louis shakes his head a little to get out of the Harry’s-scent-spiral. “Huh?” “The dish your finger's pointing at. I thought that might be what you’re choosing?” “Oh. Yeah.”

17) Sweet Like Honey | Explicit | 33,117 words

Weeks of flat shopping with their limited budget with Louis as a librarian aid and Harry as a barista and arguments about whether a balcony or extended bathroom suite were more important (Harry wanted to be able to feel the crisp night’s air and watch the sun set and Louis just wanted to take long bubble baths) led to them stumbling across the perfect fit. A small flat only ten minutes from campus with a cramped but lovely balcony and an included bath.  It’s affordable too… well, sort of. But they always manage. Louis picks up more shifts as an aid, adapting a habit of bringing his Psych textbooks and homework with him to finish in between duties, and later his script so he can quietly practice lines with little distraction. Harry also increases his number of shifts at the cafe and valiantly endures the nasty customers who for some reason flock to their establishment like moths to a flame.  For a while, it’s enough.

18) Once Burnt, Twice Shy | Explicit | 52,644 words

Louis and Harry are polar opposites in every way. Where Louis is a bestselling author from the city, Harry is a small-town firefighter who's never left his home. Where Louis is spontaneous and spirited, Harry is introverted and calm, never straying from routine. When an ill-fated accident and an exceptionally intelligent tabby bring them together, they are forced to confront their pasts and forge a better beginning for themselves. Will sparks fly, or will it all go up in flames?

19) Gallery Of Us | Explicit | 55,778 words

Harry knew what he was doing in life, everything laid out in black-and-white, each day pleasantly predictable. Cue lively art student, Louis, trying to find his place. An almost insufferably happy person who sometimes forgets to hide the way they feel meets the person who is diligent enough to notice and determined to make a difference.

20) If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55,916 words

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

21) It’s Golden, Like Daylight | Explicit | 61,496 words

"I actually think you might be onto something.” Harry’s eyes widened. “You mean…” Louis nodded. “As crazy and insane as this, this might just solve both of our problems.” “Are you saying you’re in?” Harry asked. “I’m in.”

22) Derail The Mind Of Me | Explicit | 77,323 words

Beside the photograph of a gaunt, pale face spattered with blood and lips torn into a Glasgow smile was a bloodied object, crumpled and stained almost to the point of unrecognition. Another photo showed the object shoved into the woman’s mouth. While Harry leaned forward to get a closer look, Louis scrunched up his nose and purposefully kept his gaze locked on his computer screen, refusing to so much as glance at the gruesome images the rest of the team examined. “What is that?” Zayn frowned. “Is that a tarot card?”

23) Ghost Note Symphony | Explicit | 96,426 words

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago. It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to. That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

24) Our Endless Numbered Days | Explicit | 120,815 words

“Harry?” whispered Louis, his mouth dry, his nose pressing against the other’s warm skin. “Mh?” Harry’s humming was gentle, his fingers lightly caressing the younger boy’s arm, his chest steadily rising and falling beneath Louis’ cheek. A couple of seconds passed, and Louis looked up at him in the darkness of the cave, barely able to make out the expression on his face. When he tried to inhale deeply, his breath hitched. He struggled to find the words to tell Harry what he was thinking about. Another couple of seconds passed, and Louis listened to the reassuring beating of the prince’s heart beneath his cheek. He couldn’t. “Nothing,” he whispered, his voice weak. I think you’re half of my soul.

25) Love Will Tear Us Apart | Mature | 204,151 words

It was only meant to be a one night thing, but when the country goes into lockdown, Louis Tomlinson finds himself stuck in windsor castle, in company of his royal fucking highness, Harry, the prince of England.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

Inspired by the latest Reductive Audio Pt. 2!!

I realized as I was posting that I missed like… half the channel. I didn’t include the ones I just don’t care for or I’m not interested in. So sorry if that includes ur fave 🙏. If you want me cover anybody else or want another lol headcanon for anybody I’ve covered so far, feel free to send an ask!! You can find part one here! With no further ado;

Ollie

Mike’s Hard Lemonade enjoyer. He’s a simple man. What he wants from alcohol is a lil tasty treat that gets him drunk. Mike’s Hard does that. His fav flavor is the strawberry lemonade one.

Babe (Ollie’s listener)

Neat whiskey kind of person. They don’t believe in mixed drinks and are terribly embarrassed when they have to buy Ollie’s Mike’s Hards. They do like it when they order drinks at a bar and the bartender assumes the daiquiri is for them. The look on most faces when Ollie starts slurping that thing down is delicious.

Aaron

Can’t keep his desktop organized for the life of him. Aaron is a Virgo to the max, he has like… five placements of it in his chart. He is incredibly organized. He folds his underwear and puts them into little stacks in his drawer. He has a little velvet lined case where he keeps all of his cuff links and tie pins. His shoes all go in the exact same spot on the rack every single day. But he can’t organize his folders for the life of him. Everything is just saved wherever there’s room for it. It’s incredibly frustrating for him to try and find anything.

Smartass

They are So Good at grocery shopping. Aaron hates grocery stores. The lights and noise and amount of people stress him out. So they make a list together and Smartass gets shit done. They have a system. They group their list by aisle and start at the back of the store, and make their way up to the front, wearing through the aisles. In total, it takes them about 30 mins to shop for two weeks worth of stuff. They time themself. Their record is 23 mins.

Elliot

He wants a cat really badly. His and Sunshine’s current lease agreement doesn’t allow pets, so they’re waiting until they can move. He volunteers at a local cat cafe and is in love with a little calico baby there. He’s determined to adopt her as soon as he can.

Brachium

He wishes that he could try strawberries. Sunshine loves them, but he isn’t able to experience them through anything but their memories. When he feels resentful of his situation, the small thing he gets caught up on is the fact that he’ll never get to try strawberries.

Sunshine

Hasn’t been behind the wheel of a car since their accident. They’ll ride in one if they have to, but they haven’t been able to drive since. Elliot is more than willing to drive them wherever they need to go, and they have a bike they use when he’s busy.

James

As a form of short hand when asking his partner if he can be in their brain for a while, he telepathically goes “Knock Knock.” He has to stop himself from using it with other people.

James’ spouse

Uses snail mail with James. Of course they text and email and call, but they love to write out a letter, put pictures in, pressed flowers. They make beautiful, decorated papers with their gorgeous handwriting. James has chicken scratch, but he still replies to every one. He just has to send an accompanying email with the translation so they can read it.

Anton

Writes poetry in his free time. He’s a scientist, but he believes that science and art are not so different from each other. When he’s stuck on a problem having to do with his work, he’ll write a poem about it. He writes a lot of poems to his partner. He never sends any of them.

Brian

Loves Animal Crossing New Horizons. He’ll never admit it, but it’s his absolute favorite pass time. His favorite villager is Lucky and he bought an amibo card to get him. His island is beautiful and has a sort of cityscape theme. He changes up certain areas for the seasons and does custom builds. He doesn’t believe in treasure islands and does everything for himself. He’s completed the Happy Home Island DLC and is a minor celebrity in ACNH spaces for his customs. If this ever gets out he’ll be ruined.

The Asset

Gets songs stuck in their head. It’s a weird, human thing that they just happen to have. Brian was startled when he heard them humming a Mitski song under their breath. It seemed to disturb him that they were capable of it.

Guy

He thinks he’s a good script writer, but he’s actually most talented in writing fiction. He would absolutely slay as a novelist, but he’s stuck on the idea of being a screenwriter. That’s why his script hasn’t gone anywhere in the last few years.

Honey

When they were a kid and people asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up, they always said “bus driver.” They just thought it would be fun to drive those big ol things around.

Kody

Still stalks the entire D.A.M.N. crew’s social media. He has a few alt accounts he uses to drop nasty comments on everybody’s posts. The crew pretty much knows it’s Kody, but every time they block an account a new one pops up. He seems to delight in messing with Lasko the most, since every time he gets a Kody comment, Lasko won’t post for a few weeks. Kody thinks it’s because he’s scared, but actually Lasko is afraid he’ll violate terms of service with the things he’s likely to reply.

Geordi

Avid consumer of reality tv. He will never admit it, of course. It feels non-intellectual. But he has watched every season of both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and has incredibly strong feelings about it. He runs a semi-popular twitter account where he live tweets every new episode. He’s deeply, deeply ashamed.

Cutie

Early riser. They’re up before the sun is. It’s somewhat comforting to them to know that they’re the only person up, and there’s nobody who can be thinking about them and them not know it.

Blake

Thinks that Drake won the Kendrick beef. He won’t even listen to “Not Like Us.” He’s been an avid Drake fan for years and refuses to accept that he lost.

Bestie

Does tarot readings, funnily enough. They like the idea of being able to look ahead to the future. On the day that Blake died, all their deck would let them draw was The Ten of Swords.

[pacifymebby]

Ultraviolence // Billy x Stu x Reader

Chapter 2 // Gloomy Girl

"Who's scaring her now? Fuckrag..."

Stu threw a tea towel at his friend as Billy gave in and put you down. It was strange how carefully he had let you go, placing you back down on the floor gently, his hands lingering on your shoulders to steady you.

When he placed you there backing away slowly, hands raised to surrender, placing the kitchen knife down slowly too, you felt that childish kind of upset. The kind that made you want to lie about your fear just to spite him.

"It's alright angelface Billy was only messing around weren't you, shithead?"

"Yeah, shit I'm sorry doll that was too far... I just wanted to show you what you're up against..." said Billy, hand behind his neck, eyes glowing gloomy and guilty.

"Yeah babe, Billy just wants you to be prepared..." cooed Stu, rubbing your arms slow and affectionately, he could feel your shaking and he actually did feel guilty as he rested his chin on top of your head and held you reassuringly.

You weren't on their list, they had no intention of really hurting you. And Billy shouldn't have tried to scare you like that... His temper had gotten the best of him, Stu could see that from the look in Billys eyes. Billy was just angry that you didn't value your life, and that was a difficult anger for him to handle.

"Prepared for what? I'm not exactly Slasher victim material..." you looked away dismissing them again, determined to pretend that nothing they did bothered you. You weren't going to let two stupid teenage boys scare you.

"No?" grinned Stu, his eyes lighting up as curiosity got the better of him, he had a feeling he knew what that meant. "Pretty girl... Almost always home alone... She's kind of quiet but she's got that moody, bad girl attitude so, she doesn't have many friends... If Michael Myers was stalking you sweetheart he'd Know he could get away with it..."

"I'm not a horror movie victim waiting to happen shut up Stu..." you rolled your eyes trying to shrug him away from you, "Look, I'm not dumb alright, there's always a motive when it comes to this shit and I didn't even know Casey and Steve... Why would the same person who killed prom king and queen in the making, want to kill me?"

"Doesn't have to be a motive..." shrugged Billy, "there isn't always a motive honey..."

"Yeah babygirl there isnt always a motive, sometimes people just get a thirst for killing... One day they just snap," he grinned pointing his fingers to his head like a gun, his eyes going wide and crazy, his smile never faltering, "they get the bloodlust and then... Well they just choose the prettiest victims..."

"Well," you said, looking at him unimpressed and straight lipped, "if thats the case they'll get through the cheerleading squad before they get to me won't they," you sneered, narrowing your eyes at him, running out of patience for them. "Besides... Even if i am i don't see how its your business."

If Billy hadn't scared you, you wouldn't have said it. You didnt go out of your way to be the moody, bitchy kind of girl, and you had the feeling Billy and Stu weren't the kind of people who would put up with that either. This was just another act of defensive spite.

"Well of course its Our Business" cried Stu, he was still grinning, letting out a disbelieving laugh but Billy was frowning again, he'd gone quiet, hands clasped together on the counter. It was almost exactly as you'd expected from him. Enough that ut made you smirk a little, until Stu finished his sentence and knocked your confidence.

"We're your friends y/n obviously its our business..."

Were they?

"Obviously..." you said, expressionless again, your tone too dry for Billys liking, his temper flaring so that he found himself struggling to swallow it down.

"Obviously." he said through gritted teeth, looking up at you from under his lashes, that brooding look returned and flourishing so that you felt yourself squirming under it.

"Is it," you said swallowing your nerves, eyeing the kife as if you suspected he'd do it again, "cause you guys just started following me around one day and you never exactly told me why... I hardly even know you,"

Now you looked as sullen and brooding as Billy, accidentally showing them a weakness, accidentally letting them know you were as insecure as you looked sometimes when you walked with your hands in your pockets and refused to look anyone in the eye.

"We prefer the phrase 'spending time with you' actually," said Stu, hand on heart pretending to be more offended than he was.

"And we've tried to get to know you," said Billy, watching how your eyes flickered between the kife and him. "You're just not letting us..." he stepped closer to you then, you could tell he was being careful not to startle you.

"But now we know how you'd fare in a horror movie, so, that's something..." Stu said smiling as he walked his fingers down your arm and took the jagged broken glass from your hands.

"Smashing your glass, good choice kiddo," Billy split a sideways smile.

"Shows she's got a strong Gut instinct!" giggled Stu almost choking on his own laugh as he sniggered triumphantly.

But Billy wasn't laughing, his eyes still dark as he patted you on the cheek, "smart cookie."

You just stood there glaring back at him, not appreciating the patronising gesture.

"Yeah for a little squirt you sure are feisty," stu wrapped his arms around your waist tightly, giving you a little squeeze before letting you go.

"Alright doll we gotta shoot," said Billy then, a glance at the clock reminding him that he had other places to be.

"Yeah see you round baby girl," Stu said running his fingers through your hair before throwing an arm around Billy.

"Call me that again and I'll gut you..." you said without thinking, the words leaving your lips too quickly for you to register what youd actually said.

When you did realise it was too late, they were grinning, Stu struggling to hold in his amusement, Billy just watching you, a smirk on his lips as he shook his head.

"Lock your door y/n" he said as he left, Stu following close behind him, "and no open windows."

"Yeah, you're good but you're no Jamie Lee..."

"Bye," you said giving them nothing, no promise to lock your door, no laugh for Stu's insensitive little joke as you shut the door in their faces.

It wasn't that the idea of a murderous creep didn't scare you, it would have done if you'd believed for a second that anyone was out to get you... It was just that.

No one was out to get you. You were pretty sure that billy and stu were the only people from school who had ever noticed your existence. You were pretty sure that unless it was them, the killer didn't even know your name. Let alone where you lived.

So you went to sleep that evening peaceful as a cloud, and when you woke up the next morning you remained just that. You didn’t feel like going to school and you weren’t sure there was much point either. The whole school would be talking about Casey and Steve and as fascinating as the details were, you weren't sure how many times you could watch some thickskulled boy use them to try and scare a girl into scooting closer to him for comfort. It was a pretty strange way of flirting as far as you were concerned, and these murders had only made it a more popular method. 

So you didn’t go into school, instead you slipped into the first set of clean clothes you could find, blue jeans which hung off your hips, some horror move themed crop top and the first button down shirt you saw as you wandered downstairs into your kitchen. You opened the fridge, yawning into your hand as you scanned the contents and smirked when you remembered Stu’s complaints the evening before. He was right, there was pretty much nothing in your fridge, nothing you could really eat anyway. But that was because it was pretty much always just you in your house.

Your mother didn't just work away sometimes, she practically went out of her way to do so. Her office was in the city and so more often than not she'd stay in hotels throughout the week, only returning at weekends. Sometimes she didn't return at weekends, citing "overtime" as an excuse.

You didnt blame her though, how coukd you. She had the choice between coming home and wallowing in the reminders of everything she'd lost by putting her faith in the wrong man, or staying in the city, living as close to a young, single woman lifestyle as she could. Sometimes in life you have to be selfish, that was something she'd taught you from a young age. It would have been hypocritical for her to be the martry in this case.

You yawned again, resting your head against the fridge grabbing some milk for your cereal and wandering to the cupboard to get a bowl.

You had every intention of having a slow, sleepy little day, padding around the house in a pair of thick socks, watching horror movies from under a blanket in the living room.

The day drifted by, you half heartedly watching a handful of videos you'd rented on Monday and already seen before.

It was warm beneath your blanket and the house was quiet, exactly as you liked it. It was definitely better than a day in class, drifting from math to lit to lunch, your whole day soundtracked by everyones musings on the recent drama.

Unfortunately for you however you hadn't counted on the fact that although your peers might not have noticed your absence your teachers would have, the principle would have, and more crucially than that, the cops who were interviewing every student at the school would have.

So when a knock sounded on your front door at 2pm you arose from your half asleep state, left the movie you'd been drifting in and out of to play, and wandered absentmindedly to the door.

You weren't expecting anyone but it didn't occur to you that if that was the case, it was curious for someone to be knocking on your door in the middle of the day.

Thats why you appeared startled when you came face to face with Deputy Riley and Sheriff Burke.

You blinked back at them, your eyes struggling to adjust to the light having been sitting in the dark all day.

"Good afternoon Miss l/n," started the Sheriff, his eyes scanning over you. For a moment you thought you saw suspicion in his eyes and wondered why. Of course the moment he spoke you realised...

You were supposed to be in school.

"We were scheduled to interview you today at your school and when you didn't show for registration this morning well... What with recent events, people got worried..."

"Oh," you chewed your cheek, voice quiet, a little scratchy from having not spoken to anyone all day. "I guess i forgot to call," you winced, rubbing your eyes and doing your best to appear unwell, "I'm sick Sheriff," you said, knowing that thanks to your having spent half the day napping you probably did look a little unwell.

"Sick?" he raised his brow eyes scanning over you once more, "well," he said, wincing as he spoke, "i suppose 'sick' isn't the worst state to have found you in y/n... Mind if we come in and we'll try to keep this interview brief?" he asked already moving to step inside as you faltered, tripping over your sock as you tried to move out of his way.

"Woah there y/n, be careful," chuckled Dewy, catching you awkwardly as he too stepped inside your home.

You smiled shyly at him in thanks and did your best to tread more carefully as you followed them both into the kitchen.

As they past the living room door you saw the Sheriff pause, his eyes fixed on the television which was still playing Prom night. You winced when you realised it was reaching the films climax. The killer chasing Wendy down the corridors of the school, axe in hand ready to strike.

"You like those scary movies do you y/n?" he asked.

"Some of them yeah," you said, "sometimes anyway... I'm only watching this now because I rented it from the store last week and its the only thing i have to watch." you tried not to smile so nervously but having both him and Deputy Riley watching you was making you nervous.

"Unfortunate timing," said the Sheriff, his voice giving nothing away.

"I guess... The movies not real though... What happened to Casey and Steve is..." you said trailing off, looking at them both with watery eyes. You weren't as upset as you were making out, you just needed to make sure they believed you were as scared and upset as you would expect a teenage girl to be.

"Is that why you stayed home sick today y/n?" asked Dewy, a waver of sympathy in his eyes.

"Theres safety in numbers you know y/n youd have been better coming into school instead of staying home alone..."

"No," you said quickly, "i really am sick, I locked all my doors and windows to keep any intruders out..." you said remembering what Billy had told you the night before, hoping it was the right thing to tell the Sheriff. "You're interviewing everyone from school? Does that mean you think... A student did it?" you asked chewing your cheek nervously, looking up at the two officer who glanced at eachother before Dewy answered.

"We just want to make sure we speak to everybody kid, the more people we talk to the more we can find out..."

"Oh," you said softly, nodding your head, your thumb hovering in front of your lips as you fought the urge to bite on it.

Instead you began playing with your hair, eyes fixed on the counter.

"So y/n, anything you can tell me at all would be very helpful... How well did you know Casey and Steve?"

"I... I didn't really know them at all... They're... Were? In the grade above me but um, i guess i know steve was on the football team?" you said, no longer having to worry about how well you could lie, because this wasn't a lie. Everything you'd learnt about Casey Becker and Steve Ore was through eavesdropping on other peoples conversations, "oh and i guess i know they were dating,"

"But you never spoke to either of them, didn't know them.."

"No," you said again, biting the tip of your little finger. In your head you heard the echo of Billys voice telling you not to do things like that.

"Makes you look nervous,"

You knew he was right, it did make you look nervous. It was a nervous habit afterall.

"Did you ever hear anyone talk about them? I know how you kids gossip, ever hear anyone mention anything about Casey or Steve?"

"No," you shrugged thinking back on all the times you'd heard people call Casey a slut or joke about Steve's penis size. Obviously you'd heard rumours about them, about the getting hot and heavy beneath the bleachers ect.. But none of it seemed relevent to the Sheriffs investigation so you didn't say a word.

"Alright," he hummed, pausing for a moment, looking you up and down again so that you were left squirming beneath his gaze. "Alright sweetheart, one last thing before we go, your dad ever take you hunting?"

You bit your lip, biting back the sting. He didn't even seem to notice what he'd said until there were wounded tears in your eyes.

"I don't have a dad Sheriff Burke," you said through gritted teeth, trying to hide the way his words had hurt you. Because they shouldn't have hurt you as much as they did, but when your mom was away and you'd been left alone for a week already, you couldn't help but feel like the Sheriff was rubbing salt in an already open wound.

"Shit," you heard him breath as realisation hit him, "I'm sorry y/n, i didn't think, I really am sorry," he said, the sympathy in his eyes only making you feel worse.

Dewy offered you a sympathetic smile, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze as they went to leave. You had returned to that sullen glazed expression, one which left both men feeling guilty.

"Feel better soon y/n... And remember, safety in numbers, you don't spend too much time here on your own got it?"

"Uhuh Sheriff Burke, I'll do my best," you said closing the door behind them and returning to the lounge where your movie had finished playing, the crackling fuzz of the static grating on you as the speakers buzzed with white noise.

You winced turning the volume down, hitting rewing and watching the image scramble and reverse. You watched Alex come back to life, saw a girls slit throat fused back together by a man in a sparkling balaclava.

When you were finally back to the beginning of the movie you hit play, wandering back out into the kitchen humming to yourself as you debated what to make for your dinner.

You stopped humming however when you heard a noise upstairs. Your ears burned with the sound... Like something landing on the floor... It hadn't been particularly loud, so it hadn't been something falling over. No, it had to have been a controlled landing. Something you weren't supposed to hear.

You moved slowly, trying to stay quiet yourself. Reaching for the smallest kitchen knife, slipping it up your sleeve just in case.

You stepped away from the counter and walked slowly towards the kitchen doorway, your ears listening carefully for any movement upstairs.

In the living room Prom Night was playing, you could hear the twang of conversation through the speakers. It wasn't loud enough to drown out the sound of feet on the stairs however and when you looked up from where you were stood, body pressed against the doorframe, you saw a pair of black boots on the stairs.

You let out a little sigh, relieved but also a little fed up.

"I'd have answered my front door Billy," you said walking into the hallway, arms folded across your chest, trying not to show how much you enjoyed seeing his brows knit in confusion.

"You heard me?" he smirked, his grin that crooked one which had always warmed you to him, but then his eyes turned serious and his voice dropped, "saw a cop car outside y/n, you had me thinking the worst..."

"Yeah i heard you," you said slipping the knife from up your sleeve, "funny," you mused with a little smirk, "i thought you were coming to kill me..." you said holding the knife up to his face before turning away, going to put it back in the block now you knew you didnt need it.

"Well at least i know you're being careful," he smirked, opening your front door instead of following you.

"Honey I'm home!" Stu called out in a sing song voice which made you roll your eyes and mumble a little prayer for patience.

When he came swinging round the doorframe into the kitchen however, you couldn't help but feel a glow of happiness in your stomach at the sight of him. One which left you struggling to hide your smile though you tried desperately to hold it back.

He'd been to the store and had brought several bags worth of groceries, all of which were apparently for you because before you could ask what he was doing, he'd started unpacking everything. Give it ten minutes and you'd feel guilty of course, there was a reason you didn't really stock your own fridge and it wasn't that you didn't know where the store was.

You weren't sure what to do with yourself, just stood there, arms wrapped round yourself, watching as Stu organised your fridge.

"Uh guys..." you started, your voice a little too quiet for Stu to hear as he chatted away to you and Billy about Randy and some drama that had gone down at the video store. You went to open your mouth to speak again but Billy caught your eyes and got there first.

"We thought something might have happened to you when you didn't show at school today..."

"Yeah," agreed Stu, "figured we'd swing by and check on our baby girl," he said pulling an overly saccharine smile at you as he finished unpacking the shopping.

"Then we get here and we see a cop car outside your house... Now I'll admit y/n, that did scare me." finsihed Billy. Whilst he'd been talking to you he'd come closer, close enough to brush your hair from your face, and when he had he didnt step away.

"We thought you might have been victim number 3!"

"Tact Stu..." said billy through gritted teeth, rolling his eyes but softening again when he returned his focus to you. He was concentrating, his eyes full of concern as he let his fingers push a stray lock of hair from your cheek, tucking it behind your ear as he spoke. "Whyd you stay home y/n? You'd have been safer in..."

"Jesus Billy you sound just like the cops," you said folding your arms across your chest, "i skipped cause i wanted to skip alright?" you drawled, eyes offering him nothing but sullen darkness. You were the only person who could match his own.

"Whyd you wanna skip?" he asked looking at you as if he really was terribly puzzled by your answer. Stu however sniggered, throwing a packet of chips at his friend.

"Who doesn't wanna skip school dumb ass?"

"You might be the resident shithead Stu but somehow i think our little y/n's smarter than that..." said Billy tight smirk as he chucked the chips right back at his friend. When Stu caught them he grinned all 'why thank you kind sir' as he opened the pack and shoved a handful in his mouth.

You bit back a smile at the sight of Stu stuffing his face, his behaviour so cartoonish you almost couldn't believe he was real. But Billy was still fixing you with that needy look, waiting for an answer.

"I'm just not feeling too great Billy, i got a headache an stuff," you said hoping he'd buy the same lie you'd given the cops. If he wasn't going to accept the truth he could have the same lie you'd given Sheriff Burke and Dewy Riley. You didnt owe him the truth if he wasn't going to believe you.

But Billy was smarter than the cops it seemed.

"You're not sick... That what you told the cops?"

"Uhuh."

"Come here," he said, his brows knitted together as he pushed the back of his hand to your forehead and peered at you, no longer concerned as such but determined. "You're not sick," he confirmed, "why'd you lie to the cops?"

"You work for them or something?" you asked dryly. "Its like i said dumbass, i skipped cause i felt like it..." you said shrugging him off and pushing past the two of them, dismissing yourself with "You're making me miss my movie."

You were half expecting them to leave you alone then, half expecting them to come settle in right beside you on the sofa. You weren't sure what you would have rathered either.

On the one hand you didn't really like being alone in your mothers house all the time. You refused to talk to yourself when you were alone because it was cliche and ridiculous, but the silence drove you mad too sometimes. On the other hand, the boys would drive you insane too.

"You really feeling sick?" asked Stu, throwing himself down on the couch beside you, offering you some chips from the bag he'd near enough demolished already. "Suit yourself," he smirked when you recoiled.

"Yeah..."

"She's not sick Stu don't believe her," said Billy again still frowning at you when he perched himself on the arm of the sofa, his feet resting on the cushions near yours. He leant forward with his elbows resting on his knees, looking down at you. "Whats the matter y/n why you lying to us?"

"Cause i already tried telling you the truth and it wasn't good enough... Shithead..." you grumbled hugging your knees to your chest, eyes fixed on the tv screen and the movie as you tried your best to ignore your "friends."

"Is it cause of Steve and Casey?" he asked ignoring the fact that you were obviously ignoring him, "you scared?"

"No," you rolled your eyes, speaking with a sigh, trying desperately to communicate your boredom with the situation. But that was the problem, you were trying too hard. Billy could see right through the front you were putting on and knew something was up, whether you were scared or disgusted or something else, he knew this hostility you were trying on was a cover up for something else.

"Well you're coming into school tomorrow, I'm gonna come pick you up to make sure," he said finally, his own sullen eyes fixed on the tv now too, both of you glaring at the scene which was playing out. Both of you determined not to show the other that they were getting under your skin.

[slusheeduck]

Side-tracked

“We’ll be back in just a bit,” Falerin assured from the doorway as Astarion stood outside in the hallway, pouting up a storm. “Then we can figure out how to get ahead of that Bhaalist.”

“Don’t have too much fun, lovebirds!” Karlach called back as Falerin closed the door. He leaned against it for a moment, letting out a breath, then looked over at Astarion. The vampire was glaring daggers at him; it’d probably be more literal if they weren’t together.

“I can’t believe you,” he hissed. “It’s one thing to get tied up in a murder investigation—don’t think I haven’t seen the mysteries you’ve tucked away—but offering to do the Fists’ gruntwork? Gods, it’s like I don’t even know you. I’ve half a mind to…”

“Shh.” Falerin quickly grabbed Astarion’s arms, leaning in until he was nose-to-nose with him. “Listen. I’m having the others stay here because I have a plan, and you’re the only one who can do it with me.”

Astarion’s eyes narrowed. “Go on.”

Falerin dug in his pocket, then pulled out the list of names. “If we want to get into the Temple of Bhaal without fuss, we need to impress the Tribunal. And we need proof. So…” Falerin swallowed. “We’re going to take out two people on this list.”

Astarion’s eyes widened, and a smile spread across his face before he fanned himself. “Oh, my love, are you saying you’d kill for me?”

Falerin made a face. “In a sense? Look, I’m not…I don’t like the idea of murdering innocents. So if we can…can vet them?”

Astarion took the list, looking almost gleeful. “It’s Baldur’s Gate, darling. I guarantee everyone on this list is either an insufferable bastard everyone wishes was dead, or someone who’s so pathetic and at the end of their rope they’ll want to be put out of their misery. We’re doing a service, Fal.” He read it over. “Ah, I know this house—the Highberrys, right next door. Well-to-do, probably awful. We’ll slip in and make it quick.”

~

The house was indeed right next door, and there seemed to be a big to-do out in the courtyard of it. It gave the two of them an excellent opportunity to slip around to the back entrance. Astarion led the way, hopping easily over the gate and already pulling out his lockpick. Falerin shifted back and forth, glancing around nervously. He turned, worried, as Astarion scoffed around the spare pick in his mouth.

“It’s not even locked,” he whispered over his shoulder. “People this careless deserve what’s coming for them.” He stood up, waiting for Falerin to hop the fence to join him, then he took a hold of his arms. “Darling, look at me.” After a moment, Falerin did. “I’ll take the lead here. It’ll be quick and…mostly painless. Remember, it’s for the greater good. And don’t forget to cover your face on the way out.”

Falerin took a deep breath and nodded. For the greater good. And clearly the Highberrys were rich, so…so they were probably bad. Probably.

He kept close to Astarion as the vampire opened the door, slow and silent. They slipped in, quiet as the grave, only to suddenly be face-to-face with a child. They stared at him. The child stared back. Falerin just barely caught sight of Astarion’s arm start to move, and he gripped his elbow hard.

“Ow! Bastard,” he hissed back through his teeth.

“You’re not about to…” Falerin raised his eyebrows. “…a child, are you?”

“Obviously not, you complete lunatic. I was just…”

“Timmy? Where’ve you gone?” Another child’s voice rang out, with footsteps thumping down the stairs. A little girl joined the staring.

“Well…shit,” Astarion muttered.

“Oh! Are you here for the wine thingy?” the girl asked, suddenly brightening. “Cora said some people might come round this way. You’ve just got to go to the front door.”

Suddenly, Astarion turned on his charm. “Oh, yes.” He twisted around to slide an arm through Falerin’s. “Darling, I told you it was where all those people were. Silly thing you are, thinking it’d be inside on such a lovely day.”

Falerin blinked stupidly. “Oh…right.”

The boy, Timmy, wiped his nose on his sleeve. “What were you whispering about earlier?”

Falerin glanced down at him. “Oh, I, uh…I was just telling my…my husband that I was sure we were going the right way.” He sounded nowhere near as nonchalant as Astarion; luckily, you didn’t have to be very convincing to children.

Astarion, meanwhile, glanced over curiously at “husband”, but he patted Falerin’s arm with a trilling laugh. “As if I didn’t know how Cora worked! Honestly.” He looked between the two children. “I…don’t recall you two being around before?”

“We’re orphans,” Timmy said. “Well, Molly says her dad’s comin’ back. Mum’s not, though.”

Falerin’s eyes went wide, and his head jerked over to look at Astarion. Orphans? he mouthed, face caught somewhere between distraught and disbelieving.

“Cora’s taking care of us,” Molly said, swinging against the railing idly. “She takes in all the kids who don’t have a place to go. She’s really nice.”

“She gives really good hugs,” Timmy added. “And she makes a really good pot roast.”

“Oh, she gives really good hugs, does she?” Falerin repeated through his teeth, voice tight, still staring at Astarion incredulously.

Astarion pressed his lips together tightly, then gave another laugh. “Of course she does,” he said with a toss of his head. “I could have told you that, my love. Come along, let’s go join the others.”

“Why do old people like wine, anyway?” Timmy said to Molly as they made their way to the front door.

“Dunno. But they’re going to be getting so much money for those refugee tieflings. Maybe some of the kids round town will join us!”

Once they were by the front door, Falerin stopped and shook his head. “I can’t do it, Astarion. I can’t fucking do it. They’re…she takes care of orphans. Orphans!” he whispered sharply.

“Maybe…maybe they’re being fattened up for ritualistic sacrifice?” Astarion suggested with a shrug. At Falerin’s look, he sighed. “Okay, okay! Fine! We won’t kill her.” He puffed at a curl as he opened the door. “Look, even I draw the line at orphans and widows. Now, anyway. But I expect a glass of wine for my trouble. Who’s next on the…oh, hello. Recognize that armor?”

He pointed over the head of a few wine tasters, where two halflings were chatting with a dwarf in red armor. Very red armor.

“Oh shit!” Falerin quickly shoved his way past a few partygoers. “Move, move!” Never mind the fact that they’d come in with every intent to murder Cora; he wasn’t about to let Dolor get another one on his watch.

~

The interruption went about as well as expected: changelings all over the damn place, a proper mess of a fight, and Dolor slipping away. But they came out on the other side all right, and Falerin peeked inside the house to make sure that Cora (and the orphans) had made it out alive. The halfling woman shook her head as he and Astarion approached.

“I can’t believe what that…that man was planning to do to me,” she whispered, then looked up at them. “Thank you for saving me.”

From the doorway, her husband came over. “It’s not much, but it’s the least we can do to thank you for what you’ve done.” He held out an almost comically large bag of gold, passing it off to Astarion. The vampire’s eyes were wide, and for once, he looked lost for words.

“It’s…it’s not a problem,” Falerin said, giving a little smile to them. “We’re just glad we were here in time.” He set his hand on Astarion’s back, guiding him out. “Stay in tonight! We’ll get things sorted soon enough!”

As they walked out of the courtyard, Astarion’s tongue finally unfroze. “This must be close to a thousand gold,” he whispered.

“We’ve gotten gold for helping people before.”

“We’ve gotten pittances. Is this what all rich people offer when you save their lives?” He nodded at Falerin. “Who’s next on the list?”

Fal pulled out the paper, looking it over. “Ah…Figaro Pennygood.”

“Oh, well, our red dwarf can’t kill him; he’s the best tailor in the city.” Astarion’s brows drew together. “Let’s go get the others and make our way there. I know a shortcut; we should be able to get to him in time.”

Fal gave a little smile. “Astarion, are you saying you’re giving up your life of crime to help people?”

“Gods, no. But if this…” He held up the bag of gold. “…is what philanthropists are willing to give us for saving their lives, with someone as famous and rich as the Facemaker? Darling, you and I could be looking at a free wardrobe for life.” He grinned, knocking his knuckles against Falerin’s chest before he headed back to the Elfsong. “Maybe he’ll even do our wedding, husband mine.”

Falerin snorted as he followed. “You’re not going to let me forget that, are you?”

“Not for a moment.”

Bonus Chapter

Casual Banter Master Post

[marie-swriting]

You Traitor - MCU!Peter Parker

Drabble Masterlist

Summary : You're finally shooting your shot with your crush but of course, Peter, your big brother, has to find a way to annoy you about it.

Warnings : sister!reader, reader is 15 and Peter 17, reader's crush is gender neutral, reading someone's diary, fluff, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 816

French version

Prompt : “That’s not what you wrote in your diary...” from this prompts list made by @creativepromptsforwriting

‘Dear diary, 

I decided I’m going to muster up all my courage and ask Avery out tomorrow. I think they like me. At least, I like them a lot and they’re so beautiful !

A movie with their favourite actor, Margot Robbie, is coming out this week, it’s the perfect occasion to ask them on a date. I hope they’ll say yes. Maybe we’ll kiss during the movie ? Maybe we’ll even get together ! We’ll see. I have had a crush on Avery for two years now, it’s time to take it to the next level. Wish me luck.’

You close your diary with a silly smile. You hold your diary close to your chest, happy to have finally confessed to your greatest confidant what you’re about to do. You hid your diary in its usual place, under a pile of clothes you haven’t touched in years, before going to bed.

Just like you said in your diary, the day after, you look for Avery to ask them out. As you didn’t have any class together, you have to wait until the end of the day to talk to them. When you’re both finally alone, you start talking like you usually do, hoping it’ll help you calm down, even though your stress is still going up.

“By the way, I wanted to ask you.” You start anxiously. “I know you’re a big fan of Margot Robbie and her new movie coming out this friday.”

“Yes, I know ! I want to see it so badly.”

“Maybe we could go together.”

“Are you asking me out on a date ?” They ask you with a smile.

“What would you say if I said I am ?”

“I’d say yes without hesitation.”

“Then, yes, it’s a date.”

Avery is about to add something when you hear your brother, Peter, calling you so you both can go home. You sigh, frustrated before screaming at him you’re coming. You bid goodbye to Avery before running to your brother.

When you’re home, you go to your room, grab your diary and start writing. You describe your interaction with Avery but also your expectations and the outfit you think you’ll be wearing. You’ve never been into that much detail before. Obviously, your diary saw your feelings growing bigger and bigger but that day, you’re on cloud nine so you tell your notebook every information. You keep writing until Aunt May comes home.

Without waiting another second, you put your diary away before finding her in the entrance as she takes off her shoes. Just by seeing your smile, May understand that you're excited about something.

“What got you so worked up ? What happened at school that can make you that happy ?” She genuinely asks.

“I wanted to ask you if I could go to the cinema with Avery this Friday after school.”

“If it’s not too late, sure you can. But who is this Avery ? Do I know them ?”

“We have a few classes together. They’re very nice.” You assure her, trying to hide your huge smile.

“Oh, so it’s just a friend then ?”

“Yes, what else ?”

“That’s not what you wrote in your diary.” Peter intervenes with a mischievous smile. “If I remember correctly, you’ve been crushing on Avery for two years. You even think ‘they’re so beautiful’ and that you just ‘want to hold them in your arms every minute’”, he says, quoting several of your diary entries. “You even think you’ll kiss them during the movie.”

“That’s bullshit !” You defend yourself before realising what that means. “Wait, did you just say you read my diary ?”

“To be fair, you should find a better hiding spot than a pile of clothes.”

“I’m gonna destroy your legos, Peter.” You say calmly and Peter understands it’s over for him.

He doesn’t take the time to add something before running towards his bedroom. You run after him without waiting.

“Come back, you traitor ! I’m gonna kill you !”

“May, help me !” Peter begs, in panic while May sighs, desperate. 

“Peter, Y/N, stop it ! I don’t have the time to handle your fight.” May says without really trying to ease the tension. 

You frantically knock on Peter's bedroom door while you insult and threaten him. Peter uses his superhuman strength to be sure you won’t enter his room. After a few moments, he realises there’s no way he’s making out of it alive so he takes his bag with his suits in it before letting go of the door and leaving through the window. When you finally enter and you don’t find him, you scream of frustration. Though, your eyes find Peter’s last lego he built with Ned. You know it took them hours to do it. You have a devious smile on your face as you take the lego before going back into your room, waiting impatiently for the moment your brother will come back to make him pay.

Drabble Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[occult-roommates]

I brought you to a gay bar

Once arrived at the bar, the three men went to the lounge upstairs. Immediately, Ralf and Daniele got some shooters, while Dawud just settled down for a fresh can of Pepsi™ (NOT SPONSORED). Which great, if he doesn’t drink then Daniele cannot use that to his advantage to seduce him back, making him feel less like a creep. 

Afterward, they hit the dancefloor, though while Daniele and Dawud were dancing, Ralf was still mostly drinking. He said it himself, he was here to have fun and get shitfaced. 

Dawud: Woah dude, aren’t you afraid of the hangover? Like I know you’re not flying until Monday but still. Ralf: I’m a tall German guy, I think I can handle my alcohol just fine. Dawud: Weren’t you from Ukraine originally? Ralf: Oooh, a Slavic guy who can drink no problem a ton of alcohol, literally unheard of. I swear I’m not drunk and I won’t embarrass myself, alright?

Literally a minute after, it was announced there was a karaoke downstairs, and as soon as he saw the mic, Ralf stripped to his famous “slutty underwear”, ran towards the stage, and grabbed it.

Ralf: Back when I was in flight school, I bottomed for all the other young pilots at the academy and this is how my butthole gained the nickname “The Cockpit”. Anyway this is Blank Space by Taylor Swift. Daniele: Oooh so that’s what he meant by his slutty underwear. Hot. Dawud: And you’re just gonna ignore what he said? Ralf: GOT A LONG LIST OF EX-LOVERS THEY’LL TELL YOU I’M INSAAANE!! 

Starting to get tired of the noise, and to understand why Ralf’s deceased son found that embarrassing when he sang in the car with him, Dawud went back upstairs, where he sat at a bar and ordered another fresh can of Pepsi™ (STILL NOT SPONSORED). Next to him was another young guy, probably around his age, who seemed oddly familiar. Especially when he called him by his name, as if he was surprised to see him here.

Dawud: Who are you? Matteo: Well it’s me, Matteo, Dan’s cousin. Dawud: Oh wow! I-I didn’t recognize you...You got black hair no- Wait scratch that, you likely used hair dye, why the fuck are your eyes no longer yellow? I don’t normally notice eye color but like...Yellow is hard to ignore. Matteo: Not surprised you didn’t recognized me. Like you said, I dyed my hair black so I look less like a spellcaster, put on contact lenses for the same reason, started working out, and have been on testosterone for exactly one year today.  Dawud: Oh congratulation. Matteo: Thanks. Also I’m here to celebrate that, but I’m also trying not to drink too much cause like, I’m also getting my tits removed in three days. Dawud: That’s fine I never saw your tits so it wouldn’t have help me recognize you...Wait did you said you dyed your hair to look less like a spellcaster? The yellow eyes I get it, but the hair...You know human ginger exist?  Matteo: Yeah duh, but the gene that causes red hair in spellcaster is different from the one that causes red hair in human.

Dawud went on to ramble about that time they went ufo-spotting in the Strangerville desert with Audrey and Daniele, when the DJ put on Shut up and dance with me. This is essentially what Matteo told Dawud as they went to the dancefloor, where they had fun together.

Matteo: It’s a shame I never really got to know you earlier. But trust me, up until a year ago you did not want to hangout with me, I was such a miserable asshole and had been one for years. Dawud: Haha, same. Matteo: Also I was always busy cause I was in veterinary school. Though I should be graduating at the end of this semester assuming my top surgery won’t set me back too much. Dawud: Wow, that’s great man. I’m gonna hopefully be an airport mechanic soon. 

As they kept dancing together, Dawud ended up accidentally pulling Matteo closer to him, but it’s ok, he didn’t mind. There’s a reason other than celebrating one year on HRT that Matteo came to that bar, which is it was bear night. You know, bears, the type of gay guy who’s big and hairy. Just like...well...look at Dawud,

Matteo: Kiss me. Dawud: You sure??? Matteo: I spent the first 23 years of my life afraid of any sort of intimacy, I am now at a point where I crave it. Please, kiss me. Dawud: Well if you ask so nicely then alright. Daniele: Dav, please send help, Ralf is refusing to leave the karaoke stage and all he’s doing is making other shitty plane jokes and singing the chorus of Sonne by Rammstein. I think it’s because he doesn’t know the other lyr-

Oh no, oh hell no. For the love of the Ancient Greek goddess of witchcraft, better known as Hecate, this cannot be happening. Daniele came here to make Dawud fall back in love with him and next thing he knows, he’s kissing his COUSIN??? He didn’t even know Matteo would be here tonight! Fuck his life...

Prev - Next

[walkeddeath]

[ hospital ]   my  muse  awakens  in  a  hospital,  finding  your  muse  by  their  side,  asking  what  happened - @walkedfire

  there had been a weather alert for dry thunderstorms back in LA, a term gen hadn't heard before, though after a quick search had realized it was the same as heat lightning. Nothing too crazy, thankfully.  they remember almost texting buck to let him know her plane might be delayed and to not worry about picking her up from the airport if it got to be too late. they also remember remembering that they had planned on surprising him by showing up a day earlier than planned, so they'd texted maddie instead for any just in case scenarios.

she hadn't had too many opportunities to surprise buck in a while due to a sudden increase in travel for work. they'd been trying, and more or less succeeding at it, to make long distance work. talking on the phone daily, video calls, ignoring the cost of said calls ––– and it wasn't all bad. still, gen was starting to get restless and tired of the constant distance. for once, she wanted to stay and of course it came at the precise moment it was impossible.

they'd decided to only half mention it to buck, not wanting him to think that she was planning on a drastic career move just for him or because of him. he'd been a part of it, but not the whole reason, more the branch off point. they'd tabled it for when she was back, some conversations are just best done face to face. It’ll happen soon, they’ll be back in LA for a few months solid this time, it won’t have to be done right away.

they'd sent him a quick i love you text before getting on the plane, telling him that she'd be radio silent for a while, blaming it on something for work. gen can't remember what she'd said or what he'd said, just that there had been a response that she hadn't been able to read before being told to put her phone up. when she looks back at it in the future, she'll notice odd little hints of something bad on its way. omens, foreshadowing, some of it eerily blatant ––– none of it picked up on at the time.  

the flight had been fine, nothing out of the ordinary, until the plane had started approaching LA. something in the air had changed and it wasn't just the storm, gen doesn't know what was out there, only that she'd felt something coming. It’d felt like a panic attack only not, a sudden pain in her chest and a deep dread in her stomach. still, still, they'd pushed it away. 

her phone had died on the plane, and the driver hadn't had any spare cables to charge it with, and she'd promised maddie that she'd check in with her after landing. plus, she wanted to see where buck was. the flight had shaken something into her and they'd spent the last stretch of it wanting nothing more than to spend some time with him, exist together, sit in silence or watch another movie from their combined list of shit they never got to watch before. 

  The silence at the apartment wasn’t all too new, but there had been something wrong about it. While she’d figured he wouldn’t be home, storms always produced the strangest emergencies, they've heard enough stories hanging out with the 118 to know he wouldn't be, she hadn't expected a heavyness to the still, the void air, the lack of any life after she'd unlocked the front door and walked in. something wasn't right, it had been a soft confirmation, just not of the what.

She’d charged her phone while grabbing a towel from the dryer, wondering if she should go to the station just to check in, but with the weather as bad as it was, something told her to wait. They’d gone with making coffee and had been in the middle of filling the pot with water when her phone had come back to life. a baragge of alerts of missed calls one after another, it hadn't registered right away just how many there were, most from maddie and a few from… everyone.  

things had started to move in slow motion. texts were coming in rapid fire, the first wave delayed and sent from around the same time. she'd slipped into denial easily, quickly, telling herself it was nothing that maybe they'd all seen something on the tv about flights getting cancelled or getting redirected or maybe she was just imagining the way her phone seemed like it was going to explode. everything was fine , it had to be, there was no reason why it wouldn't be. 

she'd still checked the messages, even though she'd already decided that nothing was wrong, all just simply begging her to call one of them. any of them. asking where they were and what was going on and if they needed someone to pick them up, and gen had slipped further into denial. stop worrying, he's fine, he probably got someone to let it slip you had been lying about getting back tomorrow. 

even while in deep deep reality avoidance, gen had known she was lying to herself. that she'd needed to call someone back, send a quick check in text, text him call him check in with him ––– and they had. his phone had been off, she hadn't thought too much of it at the time but it was suddenly all consuming a fear.

they texted him first, then maddie, then hen, and everyone else after that. just a quick "sorry, phone died". maddie had called almost instantly, her voice off, telling gen that she hadn't wanted to say it in a voicemail but that she needed to come to the hospital. 

that there had been an accident. 

she'd asked if gen needed someone to pick her up and gen still only half remembers that part. in that moment, she had felt gravity turn off. couldn't understand how everything was staying tethered to earth. she'd wanted to say that she could do it, no problem, to just not worry and focus on why-ever she was in the hospital. 

  humor as a coping mechanism is an old friend of gen's, as is rage, they don't remember the remark she'd given to maddie, just that it had fallen flat. hadn't sounded right. it had been too highly pitched, too erratic, too ... not right. she'd insisted on getting someone to pick gen up,  gen doesn't and won't remember what she said in response only that she'd ended up at the hospital suddenly but also four years later. Time had stopped working at some point earlier in the night.

Gen hadn’t waited for anyone to come get them before trying to get someone to take her to him. They knew it was him there was no way it couldn’t be. they hadn't let her back, not even when she'd started crying, not even when she'd begged to the point of dropping to her knees.  it had taken her screaming for a familiar face to appear behind her. of all the people to come to her aid, it had been Athena, who had simply placed a hand on her shoulder and told her to let her take care of it.  Gen had let her, something they’d never done before, but only after they’d seen the look in her eyes and felt that overwhelming sense of knowing. Later, gen will realize they knew from the moment the turbulence in the plane had surged and from the lack of any presence in the living room and the endless sea of texts.

At least she knows he isn’t dead. If he was, gen would have seen him. They wouldn't have been able to hear his soul ( though, it is faint, it's distant, it sounds pained). athena tells gen that she'll let maddie know they're there so she can okay letting her back. that they needed to prepare themself for something a little more serious than a knock on the head.

gen will remember how maddie had held onto them and how they started crying without even seeing the situation. they won't remember having to stuff down their tears to the point that it was making their throat ache and chest split. she will, however, remember how human he looked. 

they'd almost collapsed, knees buckling and faltering,  when they first entered bucks room. Everything had suddenly and violently been too much. gen doesn't remember who held her when she did ultimately fall. whose hand she'd clung to like a goddamn child. He’d looked so painfully and fragily human and it had made them hang back, forced a non rush to his side. 

They won’t remember feeling like if she even touched him he’d break. She will remember the key words of the run down.

lightning ... struck by it  ... died ... but came back.

  in the span of weeks to follow, several things happen back to back. gen takes an extended leave from work, still debates leaving entirely. they visit buck multiple times a day, practically lives in the hospital with him now. She stops sleeping because in her dreams, despite the fact that she's with him and he’s alive and they’re happy and in love everything is a touch not right. she's not her and he isn't him and everytime it ends with him dying. again and again and again and always in front of her, always some cruel fucking joke of a thing, and she doesn't know why the gods are fucking with her this time but she's ready to punch one.

  bobby hears them crying one day and he reminds gen of her dad just enough to push her to hug him and hold on tight, refusing to let go, crying for what feels like an hour. she prays with him as well, only once, but gen is willing to try anything and everything to bring buck back. due to him not being actually dead, she can't find him in the in between. if she hadn't been on the plane when it happened, she might have been able to be there for those three minutes.

  they would have been able to say what they needed to say, tell him everything that she's kept back from him. tell him she wants to stop with the work travel, to get married , to settle down and maybe possibly start a family with him because he's the one her soul has been looking for she knows it she knows it ––– but all she can do is wait. keep him company while he recovers, wait until he wakes up, and they've yelled at him to do so both at his bedside and into his pillow at home. 

  after the two week mark, the talks of what comes next start, and gen can't handle those, not yet, but she stays. hen tells her that she needs to go home and rest, gen fights it but she's too weak to really put any effort into the argument. she knows that she looks like hell and needs rest. it's only for a few hours, it barely does anything, but she does take a shower that uses all the hot water and continues standing under the water even as it becomes ice, only passively registering it.

they return the next day after being told she had to come back in and the future talks are starting to sound like near and present danger ones and then ... they tell her about the will. it doesn’t take her too much by surprise, it’s a little overwhelming, and she makes a note to try and figure out why he didn't tell them about it. it’s a question for when he's back. 

gen has no real say in the choices to be made, they might be resemble an old married couple in the eyes of the family but the hospital doesn't care. nothing is up to her and it makes her rage and she keeps finding herself on the roof to scream or in her jeep to cry. 

The rage is the first solid emotion other than sad that she’s felt for weeks but sad is not the right word because sad is when you see a frowning puppy and this is like a knife stabbing into your heart and brain over and over before slicing at your soul. 

she's in the room when it's decided to give him the chance to come back without any assistance. gen doesn't know what to say only that she's willing to do whatever to make him comfortable and happy, even if it means having to lose him, and they hate thinking about that being a possibility. Even though they're pretty sure they'll meet him again. They’d be fine with falling in love all over again. Possibly even having a grand adventure and figuring out life together again. 

something in her tells her that the agains arent a fantasy. that's all she can really count on. so they stay, they demand being able to be in the room and it’s barely even a question she would be. it's touch and go and gen feels like she's talking to him somewhere else and she wants to go to that place, wants to check and see if buck is there, if he’s safe. See if he’s afraid. Offer him her hand if he is. 

they're with him when he wakes up. they don't know if they scream or not, but later, in the dead middle of night, when she's curled up in his hospital bed with him, her throat will feel raw. she'll feel an ancient kind of exhaustion and she'll sleep solidly for the first time in almost a month. 

They think about trying to go for humor, but, they can’t. What they can do is reach out and brush her fingertips over his temple and as gently as possible through his hair. 

"you died, buck. i'm sorry i wasn't here i was ... it doesn't honestly fucking matter anymore. i'm just really fucking tired of crying. But… like, forget that for right now cause just like .... you're alive, buck. you're really alive and i love you. Everyone is waiting to see you, i can go get them, we all missed you. ."

[beyondspaceandstars]

High-Class, Cold Shoulders

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angsty but also fluffy Summary: Your affluent parents are not totally sold on your relationship with a certain super soldier — and a not-so-little announcement threatens to make things more complicated. A/N: i was a bit shocked to see that I never posted this one shot on tumblr! it’s one of my absolute favorite things i’ve ever written idk what i love about it but I feel like I just got it right lmao please enjoy!

Masterlist

"Do we really have to go?" Bucky asked for the umpteenth time as he emerged from the bathroom. He looked insanely dashing in his suit and tie and if you weren’t annoyed with his question you would’ve been tempted to jump his bones right then and there.

"Buck, come on," you sighed as you walked over from your vanity. You stood in front of him, adjusting his tie and doing a last double check to make sure his hair was just right. "It’s one banquet and we haven’t seen my parents in a year."

When you were pleased with his appearance, you made your way back to the vanity, touching up your makeup and adjusting the knee-length black dress you decided on.

"Think we could go another year without seeing them," Bucky mumbled as he took a seat on your shared bed, waiting for you to finish up.

You set your lipstick down rather harshly, but Bucky didn’t even flinch. "Bucky," you groaned — your tone rather colder than normal. Seeing your parents was definitely not on the list of things you wanted to do with your night either, but for Bucky… he absolutely despised them. The feeling was a bit mutual between your parents and him.

They had never really been very welcoming nor were they very excited about the relationship and, boy, did they make sure you both knew it. If it wasn’t passive aggressive comments it was blatant ignoring or even avoidance.

Your parents had had their assumptions about Bucky before ever meeting him. When they had figured out who you were really seeing, they both, especially your dad, acted a bit cold towards mentions of him. Things only escalated when they actually came face to face with Bucky. But Bucky tried and was never anything but nice — at least until it came the snarky comments. When those started, his temper could go off a little. This, of course, only drove home the idea he wasn’t right for you in your parents’ mind.  

As results of repeated mishaps, invitations were never directly extended to Bucky. But, being an adult, you were at the point in the relationship where you were bringing him anyways. Truly, you just wanted everyone to get along and you were certain if they all just had a normal conversation they could maybe be at least civil.

So, that was how you always ended up with micro fights before seeing your family. Bucky swore up and down that nothing was going to change your stubborn parents, but you insisted that with time, they would have to come around to the man you loved. You were at a point where you really needed this.

"I’m just saying," he sighed and got up from the bed. You continued with your makeup as you watched him fidget around the room. It was an understandably uncomfortable position to be put in, you thought, but it would all come together one day — it had to at this point. Life changes were brewing but you didn’t want to think about that right now.

You applied the matte red lipstick as your finishing touch and placed it in your clutch. Getting back up from your vanity, you halted Bucky’s nervous movements with a soft touch on his shoulder. He turned to face you, a small frown playing at his lips.

"They’ll come around eventually," you said, fiddling with the heart-shaped charm necklace Bucky had gotten you for your last anniversary. "They gotta."

Your boyfriend gave you a weak smile and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Sure, doll."

***

You weren’t even 30 minutes into the banquet and Bucky had already downed two glasses of champagne. Despite the fact it could never get him drunk, he claimed it helped him to just relax a little and you didn’t fight it. Plus, the waitresses seemed happy to serve him which was entertaining for you to witness.

The hall was filled with New York aristocrats and it seemed like everyone wanted to stop you to say hello despite the fact they only knew you as your parents’ daughter. You played along well in the small talk, having been trained in this since you were just a child, but no matter what it never got enjoyable.

Finally, you saw your parents make their way into the room, allowing you to bid a farewell to some senator’s wife talking your ear off. Bucky sulked but followed behind you, nursing his fourth glass of champagne.

"Mom, dad," you greeted them each with a hug, careful not to disturb your mother’s precisely done hair-do. "How are you guys?"

Your mother was about to answer you until her eyes landed on Bucky, who was still lingering a few steps away from you. You could feel his eyes staring them down as he drank his champagne. You watched your parents’ expressions turn from delighted to cold as if a switch had been flipped.

"How was traffic?" You asked, turning your body to obstruct their view of your boyfriend. "We got here in a breeze."

Your mother brought her attention back to you as your father broke away, mumbling something about a client waving to him. You watched over your shoulder as he walked past Bucky giving him a tight smile. Bucky greeted him with a proper hello and wave, his smile faker than ever.

"I believe traffic was just fine," your mother finally answered you. It was a dumb question — they had a driver. Neither of them gave a rats ass about the traffic but it was something to keep their focus off of Bucky.

"Wonderful," you mustered out. Your forced, over-the-top smile was beginning to falter especially when you felt a presence come up right behind you. Your mother’s stance shifting gave away who it could be.

"Good evening," Bucky said as he exchanged his empty glass for a full one as a waitress zoomed past. He took a sip and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into him securely. You nearly wanted to roll your eyes at his antics. Even your mother eyed his grip with suspicion.

She cleared her throat and met Bucky’s stare, "James." Glancing around the room, she most likely was looking for your father as an escape, but turned back when proved impossible. "I didn’t realize you’d be attending tonight."

"Could never pass on a night out with my girl," he said with a cocky smirk. Now you could really roll your eyes. "Plus, I get to see all these wonderful people."

"I’m sure, yes," your mother’s voice was getting harsher. The calm before the storm. "Lots of great people you may have never met otherwise."

You appreciated that your parents thought so highly of you but, jeez, implying he was a second-class citizen? You didn’t need another reason to be nauseous.

"You’re absolutely right, ma’am," The sarcasm in Bucky’s voice was the final straw for you. With a frustrated sigh, you pulled his arm from your waist and dragged him with you to the silent auction table. You decided you could hide your anger by browsing the tacky items up for bidding.

You began inspecting some gold-plated silverware when you felt Bucky’s worrisome eyes on you.

"Interested in some new cutlery, doll?" He asked, still watching your eye wonder over to the bidding sheet.

"This was a bad idea," you confessed. Bucky was fairly certain you weren’t talking about silverware.

He sighed, bringing a comforting arm around your waist. You melted into his touch instantly. "No, babe, this isn’t on you — it’s on me. I gotta stop throwing gasoline on the fire."

You shook your head, "No, things just may always be a mess with them."

Bucky was at a loss. Sure, there had been some unpleasant lunches and equally awkward dinners with them but this… this wasn’t right. You never threw in the towel and Bucky admired that. For everything you two endured, you always had some hope — especially about this. He knew how much it meant to you for your parents to like him and he tried so hard in the beginning, but they gave nothing back. It was wearing down on him, too, but he did it all for you and he reminded himself of that every time you pulled him to these functions.

"Babe, I-,"

"I’m running to the restroom," you pulled yourself out of his grip before he could throw anything else out there. With your head down, you weaved your way to the restrooms in the lobby of the hall.

You didn’t know how, but the women’s room was mostly empty. There were a few touching up their makeup but once they left, you were alone in the overly dramatic restroom.

You placed your clutch on the counter and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were starting to get red as they threatened to water and you mentally cursed yourself for not wearing waterproof mascara. The most you could do was reapply your lipstick and waste mindless time in here. Better to not even think about what was waiting on the other side.

You were taking your sweet time fixing your appearance when the restroom door opened. Watching through the mirror, you were greeted by your mother making her way in. She stood on the opposite side of the restroom, arms folded, waiting for you to finish.

"What?" You asked, your words coming out weaker than expected.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said, but you knew by her tone that wasn’t just it. There was a weird silence before she spoke up again, "You know, being with a guy that makes you so frazzled isn’t ideal."

Ah, there it was. You tossed your lipstick on the counter — the second time this evening your lipstick has been the target of your frustration — and turned to face her. Your posture was no more of a wounded puppy and instead a bubbling anger was rising in you.

"This isn’t just about him and you know it."

Your mother sighed and crossed the room to you. She placed her purse on the counter, facing you. She tried grabbing for your hands, but you hesitantly pulled them away.

"Your father and I just don’t understand," she explained. "After all the doctors and politicians we brought around you went for him-,"

"Mom, I’m pregnant."

The silence that fell over the restroom was heavier than you had anticipated. Your mother, usually so poise and confident, was entirely speechless. Her previous rant was totally forgotten and now she just stared at you, more stunned than ever.

"You? You’re-,"

You nodded, "Pregnant."

"With his-,"

You cut her off with another nod. She looked in awe staring at you, probably wondering if she could make any note of a belly bump yet. Despite not outwardly saying it, there was a twinkle of excitement in her eyes. You were her only child, after all. Grandchildren were only going to come from you.

"I’ve always wanted you all to get along, you know, but right now I need it more than ever," you admitted, fiddling with chipped nail polish on your finger nails.

She tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, compelling you to look up at her. Her eyes were still in amazement and a slight smile played at her lips. "We’ve always just wanted what’s best for you."

"And Bucky is what’s best for me."

Your mother retracted at that. She began looking around again as if still unsure when it came to her words. It didn’t surprise you — you hadn’t exactly been so defiant before. Sure, your little acts of rebellion were boiled down to continuously bringing Bucky around, but standing up to your family… it took a lot for you and came from such a dear place in your heart. That had to count for something.

"Well," she let out a dramatic sigh. "I guess we’re going to have to start considering that. Especially for the little one."

You couldn’t help but smile at that attempt of agreement. She said so much yet so little at the same time, but you decided to just take it for what it was worth. They were at least going to try, according to your mother, and that had to be the start of something.

After a much needed hug, you two exited the restroom and were greeted by your father and Bucky. They were standing a good ten feet apart but they both were still alive, so, that was another win in your eyes.

Before Bucky could even get a word in, you wrapped your arms around his torso, nearly knocking the super soldier back in surprise. He was stunned at first, but eventually wrapped his arms around you.

Bucky chuckled, "Everything alright?"

"I told her."

You felt his entire body tense up. His grip on you started to falter. Pulling away, you looked up at him. He was staring at the wallpaper across the hall, totally unsure of how to react.

"Honey?" You asked, worriedly. He looked down at you briefly before turning to your parents who were staring at you two in the same sense of confusion.

"You told her?"

You let go of the hug and moved back to face your boyfriend fully. He looked unbelievably nervous — from his uneasy stance to his terrified expression, the soldier was threatening to crumble before your eyes. You grabbed his hand in some comfort and luckily he accepted it, but he still wasn’t looking at you.

"She did tell me," your mother confirmed. Your father looked between you two now even more confused.

"Told you what?" Your father’s voice was unsurprisingly booming. It would’ve made you jump had you not expected this outcome.

You glanced at Bucky, who was still a shocked mess, and took a deep breath, "I’m pregnant."

The chilling silence was not unlike the one had just witnessed in the restroom with your mother. The only difference was your father was looking at all of you like it was some kind of joke, but you held your ground and Bucky’s hand.

"Pregnant?" He finally asked in absolute disbelief, his voice much louder than expected. You figured he would take this rougher than your mother had but being on the verge of blowing a gasket in public? Unimaginable for someone like him.

You didn’t trust your voice, so you just gave a nod. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky’s gaze shift to the floor. Gosh, you wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed with your man and forget tonight happened.

"I-,"

Your father was about to go off on some angry rant, probably about disappointment,  given his harsh posture and pointed finger, but was cut off by a group of ladies entering the lobby. When he remembered where he was, he reeled it way back in.

"Dinner tomorrow. Our place," He adjusted his tie and resumed his composed figure. "We will discuss it then."

"Okay," you mumbled with a small nod. He looked like he was ready to storm out, but on his way to the door, he abruptly stopped in front of you two. Your father took your free hand and waited for you to look at him.

"I love you, you know?" His face was still so stern and harsh but the words gave some comfort. These were your parents after all — you would’ve went into hiding if this was going to make them disown you.

You gave another nod, "Love you, too."

With a pat of the hand, you watched him exit the banquet hall. Your mother was about to follow him out before stopping.

"When it settles, he’s going to be so excited to be a grandpa," she said and gave a kiss on your cheek. She gave Bucky a polite nod and he returned it with a stiff wave. "See you two tomorrow."

When they were out of the building, you turned to your boyfriend who still looked like he may pass out. Cupping his face, you gave a loving kiss to his lips which he happily returned.

"Everything’s going to be okay," you promised with another peck on the lips. Bucky’s hands came up to once again wrap you in a hug.

His forced a chuckle, "I can’t believe you told them." Despite the light nature of his tone, his rigid body told you he was still trying to come to terms with the situation.

"I’m sorry," you mumbled, trying to soothe his worried look. "It just slipped out and — and it’s my mom! I just wanted-,"

"Hey, hey." He hushed you, running his hands up and down your back. "I get it, but can you blame me for being shocked?"

You smiled, shaking your head. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Bucky whispered. "Can we please get out of here? I’ve had enough of these big shots."

You let out laugh, happily agreeing, and ventured out into the city.

[larphacks]

Ten Tips for Crewing your First LARP

LARPHacks, my friends have convinced me to try LARP and I’ve decided to crew my first event so I can get a feel for the game before diving in as a character. How do I make sure it’s a good experience?

Glad you asked! This is geared primarily at people crewing small-medium “minifest”/large-linear games, about 40-100 people, based at sites like scout camps in the UK; but I think and hope plenty of the advice will be applicable more widely.

1. PACK YOUR STUFF

Crewing starts a week before the event. Check with other crew what you should be packing and make sure it's together. There's an example generic LARP packing list here, but as a bare minimum you should pack:

Comfortable footwear with ankle support

Sleeping gear, unless you are SURE the site has bedding

Warm & waterproof clothing sufficient to comfortably stand still in the rain in winter at night for >30 minutes

Washkit, including any medications and a towel

Plain dark trousers and top

Phone charger and power bank

List of emergency phone numbers (partners/friends/relatives) in case you damage your phone or get stuck out of signal

2. READ THE BRIEFS

Crewing starts a week before the event! There should be some material available to help crew understand the backstory to the event, roughly how it will run, what the PCs are trying to achieve and what obstacles they will encounter. You may have the opportunity to volunteer to play NPCs in advance, and those NPCs may have briefs. You should revise the rules so you understand what calls and mechanisms you'll encounter in play.

Sometimes you'll find there is too much of this material and it's overwhelming. If that happens, you should ask for a one-page summary, or a priority order of stuff you "must" read vs "could/should" read.

Sometimes you'll find there isn't enough of this stuff and you don't really understand what you're meant to be doing. If that happens, you should find a member of the game team or a more experienced crew member and ask them questions!

The rhino has a complex and intricate set of character motivations which the player was revising for weeks in advance.

3. LISTEN TO THE REFS

When you get to site, the refs/game team become your bosses. You should keep an ear out for when they're trying to talk. Good crew rooms are noisy, chaotic places, full of people enthusing about the encounter they've just come back from, or revising their brief for the one they're going out on next - all while trying to put on a chainmail shirt and find an appropriate weapon in the pile and glue the extremely important cardboard crown prop back together. This is fine - embrace the chaos! Get excited! But keep one eye on the refs and shut up when they start talking.

It's always okay to say "no" if the refs ask you to do something, but try to make it "no but":

"No, I don't think I can manage to fight again right now, but I could go in again as one of the non-combat restless ghosts we had earlier."

"No, I'm not ready for another role now, but I'll be good in 30 minutes, I’ll wait here until then."

"No, I don't have the brains to absorb a complex brief, but I'm happy to go in as something like a thug or bodyguard if someone else plays the Prince."

4. ASK THE REFS

At the same time, while the refs are busy, they would rather know if you're having a problem or don't understand something. Don't suffer in silence. There are always lulls in game time, so if you need help, collar a ref and ask them. Even better, ask a more experienced crew member - they'll be able to read the room and find you the right moment to speak to someone; they might even be able to fix the problem themselves.

If you're really keen to do something, make sure you communicate that to the refs - ideally before the event - so they have the chance to find something. Whether it's making kit, wearing a particular costume, playing a particular type of role - always worth asking!

A crew tent with all the essentials: bottled water, electric light, queer pride.

4. THROW YOURSELF IN

No matter how well organised the game LOOKS, it will have gone off the rails approximately two hours after time in. This is normal and expected. You will end up being asked to play roles you didn't prepare for: this is also fine and expected.

Try to play as many different roles as possible within your physical, mental and emotional capacity. Expect a big variety of different things to do. Throw yourself into the world and have a go at everything. You will not enjoy it all equally and that's fine - you're here to learn what works for you

Even if you have been given a single "big name" NPC with an important plot role, be prepared for them to arrive on screen late, leave early, or fall down a flight of stairs onto some PC knives thirty seconds after they appear. Getting keen for an NPC is great - getting overinvested in one is a recipe for disappointment and bad feeling (on your part or the players’).

Look around you at what the other crew are doing. If a role looks like fun, join in! If a ref asks for volunteers, stick your hand up! The louder, more interesting roles will go to more experienced LARPers who are "known quantities" unless you volunteer for them. Often those more experienced LARPers are itching for someone else to volunteer and will be delighted to coach you through being a squad leader, an evil magician, an angry space knight or whatever else comes up.

If you feel anxious in a complex or high energy role, ask if you can have a more experienced crew member as an IC servant, second-in-command or bodyguard. This gives them an excuse to stick close to you and whisper in your ear if you stray off track.

5. YOU ARE NOT A PLAYER

You are at this LARP to help create a living world for the PCs - the protagonists - to inhabit and affect. You may have a very important NPC with complex motivations and great kit - and you should immerse yourself and play them to the hilt! - but their concerns and goals must come secondary to the players.

Here are a few ways to reinforce that:

No NPC-on-NPC Action. NPCs should talk to each other as little as possible, only ever with players present, and ideally only ever at player instigation. If the players have worked all night to get the Margrave and the Duchess to negotiate a peace treaty, then of course they can negotiate. (Though it would be better if they each empowered a PC legate to negotiate on their behalf....). But it should be a big public negotiation with lots of opportunities for the players to observe and interject. If you find yourself talking to another NPC in private, then stop, walk away, find a PC and do your business in a way which includes and centres them instead. NPCs talking to NPCs with no player engagement is sometimes called “Facewank”, and is one of the three cardinal sins of bad LARP design.

Fight Generously. In combat roles, try to "sell" every blow the players make by flinching, rolling away, shouting in pain. It's good to give the players a challenge, but it's even better to challenge them AND make them feel heroic and badass when they defeat you.

Spot the Quiet Ones. Every time you go in as a “talky” NPC, look for the players who aren’t running to greet you, playing leadership roles, or pushing themselves forward. Give them an opportunity to engage with your role.

So, tell me about... It’s great to deliver your brief; it’s even cooler to give the players a chance to deliver their unique stories. Ask players about their kit, their customs, their names and deeds. There’s no quicker way to create the sense of a living world and culture than to have a fully IC reaction - and it can be anything! Approval, disgust, awe, curiosity - to something you already knew OC about a PC.

An NPC is there to fulfill a function - note briefing notes tucked into belt!

6. LOOK AFTER YOU

Self care is important for two reasons: you’re at a physically, mentally and emotionally demanding hobby, and you want to keep yourself safe; and if you don’t look after yourself, then it’s going to be one of the other crew or ref team taking time out of running the game to look after you. It isn’t big or hard or clever to forget to drink water or fight so hard you feel faint. It isn’t cool to wear uncomfortable kit (no matter how great it looks) which exhausts you to the point you’re incapable of participating in the game, or to keep banging your head against a role you’re really not enjoying.

Ask for help before you need it, not after; make your accessibility needs and limitations clear to the game team in advance; give yourself enough food, water, sleep and decompression time between intense roles. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish, it’s part of being a responsible crewmember.

A social role can make a great break between more physically active roles.

7. LOOK AFTER YOUR BUDDIES

Even if you’re new, you can still keep an eye on your fellow crewmembers. Check in on them if they seem down or subdued, and make sure they’re remembering to drink enough water and get some rest. A great way to cheer someone up is asking them what their favourite moment of the event has been so far, or to ask them to tell you about a highlight of a previous LARP experience - getting people to tell war stories is a good way to get perspective on the game.

And what friendly souls all of these crew seem to be!

8. IMPROVE YOUR FOXHOLE

Crew rooms are always chaos, particularly crew rooms for medium-sized combat games. Work out where things are meant to live and anytime there’s a break, gently tidy things up. Wash out cups, put the swords back where the swords live, throw rubbish away.

Go one better and improve the conditions - are people unsure of where the costume/weapons get stored? Grab a Sharpie and some paper and duct tape, and start making signs. Is there an obvious trip hazard? Tape it down or move it. Refs have left radios scattered over the desks? Put the spare ones on to charge.

If you don’t keep the crew room tidy, you’ll be left wearing the chicken wig.

9. PACK DOWN

Everyone is very excited and frothy at the end of an event, and it can be really compelling to catch up with the players you’ve only ever seen IC all weekend! But there is plenty of work to do to get the site collapsed, kit packed away, and everything cleaned and tidied. Make sure you leave enough energy to pack down your own and the event kit, and if you can’t see anything obvious to do, grab a mop or a cloth and start cleaning part of the site.

10. FROTH AND SELF CARE

Be prepared to look after yourself in the days after the event. Take a day off to recover.  Sleep, eat and rehydrate. You will be more drained than you realise. Carefully clean and disinfect any little cuts or grazes you picked up - the outside is dirty and they will infect quickly.

If it’s gone well, you’ll be on a big emotional high! If it hasn’t, you may feel a bit rotten. In either case, engaging in after-game froth on social media can be a great way to maintain the good memories of the event, as long as you’re sensible. Try to be generous with your engagement - give other people compliments on cool stuff you saw them do, tell them their kit looked cool, and try to think of something nice to say at least once for every time you’re complimented.

You may get a bit of low mood ("event drop") after a day or two. That's okay. It will pass. Write down the good frothy memories now while you're hyped about it and re-read them when you're low.

If some things didn't go so well, it's absolutely OK to talk and vent about them, but it’s courteous do it in a place the game team can't see it (e.g. personal Facebook, on a filter) for the first week.

Write down what worked well (roles/interactions you enjoyed, kit you liked) and not so well (things you should have packed, things you'd have liked to do but missed the chance) while it's fresh in your mind. Review the list next time.

I liked the bit where I died!

(Credit to Jessie for this bit:) When you roleplay a character getting emotional - you are likely to be using your own real emotions to physrep that. Those don't always go away just because you have stopped playing the character. So be gentle with yourself for how you feel for the next few days, and watch out for any responses that come from the character and not you. This is called "bleed" and its normal, basically everyone gets it. But you might feel, eg, weirdly close to or angry with a player or fellow crewmember, or like you've let people down or similar. If that happens it is worth pausing on the reaction and checking where it comes from before acting on it. In the same way that while your kit isn't actually covered in blood you still need to put it round the wash - you weren't actually in a life or death situation with your mates but your brain might need a gentle clean up as if you were.

[fanfics4all]

Banished

Request: Yes / No  roan x reader (smut preferably) where you get banished from skaikru about a month in after landing on earth and you meet roan. since he’s wounded and you’re a healer you patch him up and end up travelling together and become rlly close?? idk i read your trick or treat fic and it was my favourite roan fic i’ve read (and i’ve read them all...no shame)😭 @szhead31​

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Roan x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 1735

Warnings: SMUT!

Y/N: Your Name 

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

“What do you mean I’m kicked out?” I asked Clarke and Bellamy. 

“Y/N, you’ve been a danger to the camp.” Bellamy said with his arms crossed. 

“A danger? I’m a damn healer!” I shouted. 

“And half of the people in our infirmary are because of you!” He shouted back at me. 

“Enough!” Clarke shouted, stopping anything before it started. 

“Y/N, Bellamy’s right. You’ve been fighting everyone in camp and with the Grounders wanting to kill us, we need to think of the bigger picture.” She said and I scoffed. 

“Ya know what? I don’t even care anymore. Screw all of you and I hope the Grounders kick your ass!” I shouted and stormed out of the dropship. I went to my tent and grabbed my shit then left without another word. Those assholes can kiss my damn ass. 

*One Month Later*

I was out hunting in the snow. I don’t entirely remember how I got here, but I was alive so that’s all that matters. I had the perfect angle on the deer I was hunting when all of a sudden a scream scared it away. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I groaned. I decided that I should run and see who was screaming. Maybe someone from camp got lost and I could fix them up, it was the damn doctor in me… If I heal them maybe they’ll see I’m not as bad as everyone says I am! I pushed myself to run faster and found a man leaning against a tree with a serious wound in his stomach. I’m honestly surprised his guts weren’t falling out. I kneeled down by his side and quickly pulled out my supplies. 

“Who are you?” He asked with a groan. 

“I’m here to help, who are you? What happened?” I asked as I started to work on his stomach. 

“I am Roan, Prince of Azgeda.” He answered then hissed in pain. 

“Don’t move, I need to disinfect it before I stitch you up. Here, bite on this.” I said and pushed a cloth into his mouth. He bit down on it and continued my work. It took about a half hour to patch him up enough to get him somewhere safe. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” He asked as we were walking through the forest. 

“My Father was a doctor, he taught me everything I know.” I answered with a small smile. 

“Your Father taught you well.” He said, returning my smile. 

“Up ahead, there’s a small cabin I found, I’ve been staying there.” I said and pointed at the building ahead. He nodded and the two of us quickly but carefully made our way into the cabin. I laid him on the bed and checked his wound again. 

“If you’re a Prince, what are you doing out here alone? Shouldn’t you have guards with you?” I asked. 

“I was banished so my people could join with the Commander.” He said sadly. 

“Your parents banished you?” I asked shocked and he nodded sadly. 

“Why are you out here on your own?” He asked and I bit my lip. 

“Same reason you are. I was banished because my people thought I was more dangerous than the Grounders.” I answered and his eyes widened slightly. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“I was a healer to my people, there weren’t many, but the two people that basically put themselves in charge kicked me out because I kept fighting people. Those people talked a lot of shit about me and I was just making sure they knew not to mess with me, turns out that putting your own people in the infirmary while at ‘war’ isn’t a great idea.” I half laughed. 

“How long have you been out here?” He asked. 

“About a month, maybe a little more.” I shrugged. 

“You’re strong.” He smiled and his eyes slowly started to close. 

“Get some rest, I’ll check on you in the morning.” I said and walked off to make myself food. 

*Another Month Later* 

Roan had healed well. He was strong and wanted to get better. He was actually a very good patient and did everything I asked of him. The two of us got to know each other while he was healing and he was amazing. At first he was pretty reserved and hesitant to let me into his life, but eventually he opened up to me. He was sweet with a very strong sense of loyalty. When he was finally better I thought he would just leave, which broke my heart at the thought, but he stayed. He explained to me how he was a bounty hunter and asked me to join him on his adventures. I had agreed, but we always ended up coming back to the cabin we now claimed as ours. The two of us knew we had developed feelings for one another, but we never fully confessed. Sure we acted like a couple, but it was never solidified. That was until we got snowed in our cabin with no way of leaving. 

“I suppose it’s good that we got extra food yesterday when we were out.” I said and Roan smiled. 

“I suppose you’re right.” He said and joined me in the bed. Roan pulled me towards him and I rested my head on his chest. We sat in silence, revelling in the warmth that our bodies gave to each other. After a few minutes Roan pulled my face up to look at him and he did something unexpected. He held my chin with two of his fingers and gently kissed me. I was breathless when he broke away, his eyes shining as he admired me. 

“What was that for?” I whispered. 

“I just finally got the courage to confess how I feel.” He said and I smiled with a slight blush dusting my cheeks. 

“I feel the same way.” I said and kissed him again. The kiss started off as sweet and loving, but it quickly turned hotter. The two of us were feeling each other’s bodies and enjoying the feelings. When Roan dipped into my pants I pulled away. 

“Wait, I’ve… I’ve never done this before.” I said, blushing deeply and looked away. Roan grabbed my face and made me look at him. 

“Let me teach you. We’ll be nice and warm after.” He said with a small smirk. There was something about Roan that made me trust him with all of my heart. 

“Okay…” I whispered. Roan pulled my shirt off and then my pants were quick to follow. My arms immediately went to cover my chest. 

“What about you?” I asked. He smirked and rid himself of his clothing, naked. Roan gently pried my arms from my chest and smiled. 

“Beautiful.” He hummed and kissed me, making my cheeks turn pink. 

“No need to be shy, Y/N.” He promised. He gently pushed me to lay on the bed and his lips went to my chest. 

“Roan…” I breathed, lacing my fingers into his brown hair. He pulled my underwear from me and looked up at me for consent. I gave him a small nod and he moved to my entrance. The sensation was overwhelming as his cock entered my pussy for the very first time. Delightful flashes of tingles coursed through my body. It felt amazing, until he broke through the one thing that indicated I was indeed a virgin. I grunted at the sharp burst of pain in my pussy. He held still, deep within me. 

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” He whispered in my ear. My breathing was fast and shallow as I felt my walls absorbing his shaft. The sharp pain dulled to an ache, but was slowly overcome by a heavenly feeling of fullness. The tingles from him pressing against my clit increasing as his body moved subtly with each of his deep breaths. 

“It’s okay… I’m fine.” I finally whispered. Roan’s hips pulled back slowly, his gaze still concentrated on my face, probably looking for any signs of pain. He stopped with the head of his cock placed just in the entrance on my pussy. He teased me for only a moment, making me moan and grip the sheets. 

“Please don’t tease.” I begged. 

“Sorry love.” He said and pushed back inside me. One of his hands found my clit and I arched my back as he played with it. My muscles eased, allowing the pain to dissipate. Roan’s thrusts began to build pressure in my stomach and stars in my eyes. The soft pleasure washed over me with ease. My breaths were coming out in shallow stutters as I tried to hold back my orgasm. I was throbbing around Roan and he could feel every second of my building pleasure. 

“Roan, fuck!” I choked out as I withered on the bed. 

“Harder, harder please!” I begged, squeezing my eyes shut. Roan leaned down, capturing my lips in a messy but loving kiss as he did what I wanted. The ache in my every muscle released all at once. A shudder ran through my body as my orgasm took over me. 

“You look so beautiful when you cum like that.” Roan praised, and it only made it better. Roan pulled my legs over his shoulders and hit a deeper spot inside me. 

“Oh my God!” I shrieked. My back arched off the bed as Roan slid into me with the deep, angled thrusts. My moans were loud, escaping my lips with every other thrust he made. His hips rolled against mine with his hand still trying to pull another orgasm from me. I gripped the sheets tighter as I jolted upward from his powerful force. 

“Oh fuck! Roan!” I screamed, pleasure bursting through my veins. I was cumming for a second time tonight.

“Oh Y/N!” He moaned as he came inside me. I whined when he pulled out of me. He gave a small chuckle and pulled me into him under the blanket. 

“Warmer?” He asked and I nodded. 

“That was amazing.” I sighed happily. 

“We can do that as often as you want.” He smiled and I captured his lips in a kiss. 

“I think I want to do that all the time.” I said and he laughed. 

“Whatever you want, my Princess.” He said and I smiled. This was what earth was all about. This was my new start.

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[balkanradfem]

The basics of growing food

So, growing food sounds very intimidating, and in reality, it's something people knew how to do thru all history, and it's made even easier by new methods of 'no till' and 'no dig' garden. I didn't know almost anything about it until 3 years ago, when I got a plot in a community garden and started growing food with no experience. Still it went good! Here's what I learned:

The basics are as simple as 'if you put a seed underground and keep it wet, it's going to come out.' If you start off from that, even if you know nothing else, eventually you will succeed. The additional stuff is done to ensure success. The biggest actual issue of gardening isn't how, but when. When are you supposed to put all the seeds underground to get good harvest? For most of the plants, it can be as simple as 'Spring'. For others, it's very important just when in the spring you plant it.

Let's say you want to start your first garden, you want to plant some onions, lettuce, peas, green beans, tomatoes, peppers and zucchini. All of these can be planted in the spring! But these plants are sorted in 2 categories: Those who can survive a frost, and those who cannot. We call these 'frost hardy' (those who survive the frost) and frost-tender (those plants will die if they're exposed to lower than 0 temperatures). From the ones I listed, onions, lettuce and peas are frost hardy! It means you can plant them very early in spring, such as February and March, and they can be hit with snow and ice and be just fine. They can also be planted in autumn, and they only really start growing in the spring.

Green beans, tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini are frost-tender, meaning you absolutely can't grow them before the chance of freezing temperatures is gone. This is known in gardening as 'the last frost date'. Every area has a different last-frost date, so it's good to google yours to be sure you're planting these when it's safe to do so. For me it's mid-April.

Now, since it's a long time to wait for your plants to grow if you've only planted the seeds in mid April, people have found a way around it by planting the seeds in little containers inside of their house, or in a greenhouse, so they grow in a nice warm place on a windowsill, and are moved out in the ground when it's warm and safe. This is a very fun thing to do as you will have bunch of little plants growing in your home. Important thing to know about it is to use really light and airy soil, not garden soil, (you can use forest soil!) and to make sure you're not over-watering them and you give them as much light as possible.

Soil is another big thing in gardening, the grass grows so easily from it, but you can't exactly plant your seeds into the grass; they will get suffocated. For a long time people have tilled the ground to make it empty of all the weeds and easy to handle; however this isn't healthy for the soil, because it ruins the quality of top-soil, exposes it to sun and wind erosion, and it dries up very easily. Here are some beneficial methods of gardening: mulching and no-dig. Mulching means adding stuff like hay, straw, tree leaves, woodchips, pine needles on top of the soil. You're protecting your soil from sun, wind, erosion, drying out, and if your mulch is thick and dark enough, no weeds will grow in your garden. You are gardening by science.

So what does this mean for you, when you're standing before a patch of grass, thinking of turning it into a garden? You need to do this months before the actual planting, using time to your benefit is the smartest thing a gardener can do. You pick a patch of land and bring in everything you can on top: cut grass, hay, tree leaves you raked or found, straw if you have any, woodchips, anything that will stop the grass from growing. If you really want to build up your soil you can bring in compost too! All that organic material will eventually turn into compost and fertilize your garden as it degrades to soil. It's important to not mix it with the soil, and to only keep it on top of the plants. Mixing it will deplete the soil of nitrogen, and you need nitrogen to grow anything green. If you keep bringing in organic material for years of gardening, and on top of that put some compost as well, in 3-5 years your soil will become so rich and soft you will no longer have to use tools to plant in it.

But, hey, if it's your first time, you don't need to aim for perfection. If you didn't prepare your soil in the fall, whatever! You can still pull the weeds, dig around a little to make some clear soil, and plant your stuff! I've done this last-minute planting and it works just fine. Mulching and adding organic material is only the easiest, most scienc-y way to garden.

The next big thing in gardening is spacing and depth: how far apart should your plants be? And how deep to plant them? For depth, the rule of the thumb is 'twice as deep as the seed is tall'. But I've seen people pull various shit in this area and succeed so do what you want. As of spacing, I would also say, try out what fits for you. It takes a year of gardening to get a sense of just how big the plants get, and what would be ideal spacing for each of them. I decided only on my third year to plant tomatoes VERY far apart, because I realized in this case, one plant will give me more than 8kg tomatoes and it's much less work than planting 3 times as many plants that are close together. Peas seem to like to grow close tho, for some reason. Sometimes you can decide you want a bunch of tiny plants because you'll eat them young, so you don't space them on purpose, people do that with lettuce, leeks, spinach. If you want your plants as big as possible with as much yield as possible, give them half a meter and see what happens.

Fertilization is another big thing in gardening; if you add a lot of compost and mulch your garden consistently, you won't need a lot more; however there's a cool free trick you can do (if you're not currently sick): you can mix your urine with 10x water, and water your plants with that. And I really mean mix it with 10x water! Plants can get very fried by it and start to wilt if they're bombed with too much fertilizer at once! There are rules for this: use it when you want your plants to grow a lot of greenery, not if you want them to flower or produce fruit. This fertilizer is rich in nitrogen, and nitrogen inspires plants to grow more leaves! If you wanna fertilize them later in their growth, put a lot of nettle plants in a big container with water, leave it in the sun for 10 days; when it starts to smell real bad, it's ready. (you can also do this with comfrey). Also dilute it with 10x water! Don't use these fertilizers on bean or pea plants, or any legume, they don't like it.

Now I've given you so much info at once, you're probably struggling to take it all in, so here's a good youtube channel where I learned all I know: Roots and Refuge. If you watch this lady garden for long enough, she will tell you all of the secrets.

I remember being a first time gardener overwhelmed with worry; what if I fail, what if nothing grows, what if I kill all the plants, what if I have a black thumb, what if the plants die because I am stupid, what if I put all of this work in and get nothing, what if people make fun of me, what if I run into problems I won't be able to solve. Here are some of the answers to these!

A part of what you grow will DEFINITELY DIE. I can guarantee it, it happens to everyone, every single garden in the world has had plants die, sometimes for no reason at all, but in no case will EVERYTHING die. We all count on a part of our plants dying, becoming slug food, not doing well in general, and we always plant 30% more than we absolutely need. Even if you are personally responsible for killing the plants, the plants will not hold it against you! Plants appreciate you spreading their seed regardless of success, they understand that by trying multiple times you will eventually succeed and they absolutely want you to learn thru occasional failure. The answer is again to plant a lot, and it never ever happened that nothing came out of it. Most often, it's not going to be your fault at all. Sometimes the year will be good for tomatoes and carrots, and bad for peas. It's all okay! Because you just planted extra peas, and you'll get more tomatoes than you expected to have.

If you have the desire to plant food, you do not have a black thumb; the green thumb is in the heart that yearns to grow. You're not stupid if your plants die, plants die for everyone. And people are likely to come at you with million advice; listen to no one, try everything yourself. If they make fun of you, they're gonna look real stupid when you have home-grown food. Any problem you might run into while gardening is google-able! Or you can join a page of gardeners and they'll be happy to identify the issue.

The real main issue with gardening are slugs and bug-type pests, and that is a problem for another day because all I know to do is to yeet those away by hand and shake my finger very sternly at them. Hope this helps!

[yelenasbraid]

realizations [ evan buckley ]

SUMMARY — buck comes to the realization he’s fallen in love with his best friend, but unfortunately it takes her being involved in a hostage crisis for that to happen.

WARNINGS — fbi agent!fem!reader, hostage crisis, injuries, angst, fluff

NOTE — yes this is another crime (?) show that i’ve added to the list and yes i’m hooked. so, here’s some of our favorite golden retriever.

———

UNFORTUNATELY, GETTING KIDNAPPED OR PUT IN A HOSTAGE CRISIS is something an fbi agent expects. with so many people out there who hate them, and the severity of the crimes they are called to, it only makes sense. it doesn’t mean it’s any less scary though.

how y/n got into a hostage crisis was a question she’d be asking herself until the end of time. one minute she was making a deposit and the next she was on her knees in between two other women, who were struggling to keep it together. y/n knew better, and even though her heart rate escalated by the second, she remained outwardly calm. she knew that if she were killed, those holding the bank hostage automatically get a life sentence, and they knew that.

her calm appearance bothered one of the men, so much so he forced her up on her feet.

“why so calm?” he hissed, but she didn’t answer. as he was staring her down, one of his partners dug through y/n’s purse. he raised a badge, inspecting it.

“hey, she’s an agent.” the words escaping his partner’s mouth made their job a lot harder.

***

buck had absolutely no idea what he was stepping into. the 118 was called for when the hostage crisis was solved, so there they were. buck also didn’t know his best friend was inside, but he soon would find out.

“what’s the situation?” bobby asked athena, who stood in front of the mobile command center. members of swat surrounded them, their fingers itching to pull a trigger.

“robbery turned hostage. we count at least 20 people inside, not counting the three robbers.” athena reported, watching on as several agents and the swat commander spoke of plans.

“anyone been injured?”

“as far as we know, no.” athena answered. anxiety pooled in her chest as she walked inside the mobile command center. her eyes scanned the screens, her eyes looking for anyone she recognized. she didn’t recognize anyone, but bobby did.

“her,” he pointed to the screen, his finger hovering over y/n. the agent in front of the screen looked back at him with a creased brow.

“y/n?”

“yeah, she’s buck’s best friend. i didn’t know she was in town,” bobby spoke softly. he argued with himself over whether or not he should tell buck. he knew that buck would react rather than think, but anyone would.

“he shouldn’t have anything to worry about; y/n’s one of our best.” the agent reassured, but his words wouldn’t mean anything to a reactive firefighter.

bobby stepped out of the center and approached his team, his chest heavy. he took a deep breath, pulling buck aside from the others.

“you need to listen to me very carefully,”

***

she kept her cool, even though she was shaking like a leaf. y/n focused on controlling her breathing and trying to find a way to get her and the other hostages out. she also tried to figure out a way to talk them down. y/n knew her presence was stressing her captors out, and she had to use that to her advantage somehow.

“you need to let these people go,” she dared to speak. the leader of the three walked over, pointing his gun in her face; she showed no reaction.

“why’s that?”

“the longer you hold these people hostage, the longer swat has to wait, and they don’t like waiting.”

“oh really, what’re they gonna do, pretty lady?” he bent down to be at eye level with her, a crazy look in his eyes. sweat glistened at his hairline and his hands shook, not too much to stop him from shooting someone, but enough for her to have leverage.

“they’ll kill you and your friends. i’m sure you don’t want to die, not here at least.” y/n kept her words even and stable; she did not want them knowing she was terrified. for a second, he looked like he was digesting her words. when his fist collided with her jaw, she knew she interpreted wrong. she blinked away the tears that pooled in her eyes and worked her jaw; thank God nothing was broken.

“no more talking,”

***

it was three hours before the hostages were released. two out of three men were killed by swat when they entered the building, the third surrendered and was arrested. the hostages were ushered out of the bank, and y/n finally had a chance to breathe. she didn’t have to scan the crowd long before she was engulfed in strong arms, the familiar embrace of her best friend, evan buckley.

“my God, y/n,” he breathed, pulling himself away from the embrace. his hand hovered over the bruise forming on her cheek, his eyes filled with a mixture of emotions. he was terrified, yet he almost ran in there with swat.

“i’m fine. i was going to surprise you after your shift, but i guess the universe had other plans,” her breath shook, but joking about her situation seemed to be the thing to lift spirits. buck scoffed, irritated she was joking but he couldn’t hide his smile.

“you scared me,” he admitted, lowering his eyes. he felt tears come to his eyes as he ran through what could have happened. y/n lifted up a hand and let it rest on his cheek. he met her hand with his own, his eyes lifting to meet hers.

“i was scared too, but hey, i made it out alive and i’m ok.” she whispered to him. his heart swelled and he nodded his head. buck held down his feelings for her for so long, refusing to believe that he had fallen for his best friend. but, unfortunately, it took her being in a life-or-death situation for him to realize that he loved her.

“we should make sure you don’t have a concussion,” he hummed. y/n nodded and walked over with him to the ambulance, where hen and chim met them.

***

buck opened his door to settle his eyes on y/n. he invited her over to confess his realization, but he was nervous. he smiled at her as he opened the door.

“i hope this isn’t a welfare check,”

“it’s not! i-i promise,” he reassured her, his award-winning smile adorning his face. he stepped aside and let her inside. closing the door behind him, she faced buck, who shoved his hands into his pockets.

“so…what am i here for?” she questioned.

“while you were in the bank, there was a lot of…waiting. when bobby told me you were in there, i lost it. my best friend, inside with three psychopaths.” as he started his story, he walked backwards and into his kitchen. y/n kept a warm smile as she followed him.

“i told myself that you could handle it, since you know, you’re an fbi agent. but i was so scared you weren’t going to make it out. i was mad that you were here without me knowing but at the same time, i was terrified. i was scared i wasn’t going to see you again other than on that screen and i just…” he stopped in his words, tears stinging his eyes. God he was so thankful that you made it out, but his mind took him to a timeline where you didn’t make it out. his chest tightened as he fought back his tears.

“it made me realize something,” he whispered. y/n’s smile faded as she watched buck. his shoulders slumped and his eyes avoiding her own.

“i realized that…i had fallen in love with my best friend, and it took your life being in danger for me to realize that.” he sounded so disappointed in himself. his voice cracked and his eyes met hers. y/n walked over to him, her chest filling with joy as she caressed his cheek.

“well, i think now’s a good time to admit i’ve fallen for my best friend too,” her words permeated buck’s brain and sunk down into his heart. he embraced her again, his arms keeping her there and holding her tight. he rested his head on top of hers, allowing a couple tears to fall from his eyes. y/n wrapped her arms around his waist, her hands running up and down his back. for a moment, the two best friends — now lovers — stood there, enjoying each other and that they were ok.

“i’m never going to get used to you being an fbi agent,” he confessed into her hair. she chuckled, looking up at him.

“i don’t think i ever will either,” she laughed, laying her head back onto his chest.

———

that was long, but i like build up with these types of things. anywhoodles, buck is my new favorite golden retriever lol. hope you guys enjoy!