#marie swriting in english

[marie-swriting]

Love Advice - Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : Jake comes back after six months of deployment and he needs your help to win the woman he loves.

Warnings : a tiny bit of angst, mutual pining, thinking there's an unrequited love, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.4k

French version

Song inspiration : How You Get The Girl (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Somebody knocking on your door takes your attention away from your TV show; at first, you just lower the volume down so the person doesn’t know you’re home and wait for them to leave. However, the second the knocks on the door get more insistent and you hear ‘I know you’re home’ with a Texan accent, you jump out of your couch and run to open the door to Jake. You joyfully shriek before throwing yourself into his arms. Jake laughs because of your enthusiasm, then he tenderly holds you close to him. 

You haven’t seen each other in six months because of his last deployment. Of course, you called each other almost every day, it’s just not the same. You've been thick as thieves since you were five, you need to see each other often. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home today?” you ask, breaking the embrace.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you did. I missed you so much!” you exclaim, kissing his cheek before bringing him inside. “I hope you’re staying home for a long time. Six months without seeing each other is too much!”

“I totally agree.”

As usual, when he comes back home, you spend the day together then, Jake sleeps at yours. You go downtown, eat something, even watch a movie if there’s something interesting and the next day, Jake goes to his place - he lives twenty minutes away.

As soon as the night comes, you go home, takeout food in hand. You go into your living-room and you put a random show as background noise. You keep talking about the last few months in order to catch up when you decide to bring up a topic Jake seems to avoid.

“So, you didn’t tell me anything, what’s going on with Lara?”

Jake met Lara in a bar a week before leaving. You weren’t with him that night, so you don’t know a lot about their relationship; all you know is Jake got along with her pretty well.

“Oh, huh… Well…” he stutters and avoids your gaze.

“Jake,” you say with a disapproving tone. “Don’t tell me you messed up. Not again!”

“Not really. Okay, maybe a little.”

“What did you do?”

“I may or may not have not called her since I left.”

“Are you kidding me?” you scream, hitting his shoulder. “Do you realise you’re the kind of guy we talk shit about when we’re talking with other girls? Jake, you have to stop being a dick and destroying your relationship. You’re a nice guy, but whenever it’s about love, you’re the worst of them. Every time you find an awesome girl, you just ruin everything.”

“I know and this time, I want to fix this.”

“Before we keep going, you didn’t cheat on her, did you?”

“I might suck at relationships, however, you know I have some limits and I’m quite proud to say I’ve never crossed that line.” he affirms with a grin.

“You better!”

“Anyway, at first, I didn’t know what I wanted with her but now I do. I really connected with Lara and I want her to forgive me and give me another chance, I just don’t know how to do it.”

Following his sentence, you immediately understand what he wants. He messed up and now he needs your wise advice to fix the situation. Again. You roll your eyes before straightening up.

“I’m gonna make you pay for my love advice one day, at least, I’ll become a billionaire in a month with you.”

“You’re the most stable person I know when it comes to relationships so obviously I always go to you! Besides, you’re a woman, you know what to do.”

“True.” you modestly confirm. “First thing first, meet her in a neutral environment, a café for example.”

“And I buy her flowers?”

“Do you know her favourite flowers?”

“Roses are the safe option, right?” he suggests and you’re desperate.

“Do you know any personal details about Lara, like her favourite book?” you ask and he shakes his head. “Well, just pay for whatever she orders. First, you apologise and you do it correctly, you put the focus on her and what she might have felt. The goal is not for her to comfort you because you feel bad when you’re the one who messed up. If she still hasn’t thrown her drink in your face, you’re on the right track. Then you say, in the most convincing way, you want her, not an other girl, for worse or for better. You know it’s gonna take her some time for her to trust you again but you will forever and ever. Tell her you know you broke her and you’ll put it back together because you care about her and you want to do better for her. In short, show her you want to be a better man and make sure your actions match your words quickly. And that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl. At least, your chances will be higher.”

“You seriously think it can work?” Jake asks skeptical. 

“I can’t 100% promise you but, at least, it shows you want to be the man she deserves. Either way, you have to keep me updated! And also, don’t wait too long to do it. You should even contact her right now so you can see her in the following days.”

“You’re right.”

Jake takes his phone and quickly types a message. After you approve it, he sends it and nervously waits for the response; however, being tired from the travel, Jake quickly starts to yawn so you go to sleep. Jake sleeps in the same bed as you. You’ve always done it so you’re not going to change this now, after all, between you two, it’s purely platonic.

At least, for him. The same cannot be said about you. When you were still in High School, your crush on Jake was almost embarrassing. It’s actually the only secret you’ve never told him. Officially. During prom, you confessed to Jake you wanted to be more than friends nevertheless he was so drunk he didn’t understand it and the next day; he had zero recollection of it and you were very grateful. You don’t know what you would’ve done if he had remembered. You probably would have lost your best friend and you couldn’t allow this to happen so you just repressed your crush until it eventually died. 

Notwithstanding, what you don’t know and the only secret Jake has never told you is that he remembers pretty well what you told him that night. He was just so stunned that he pretended he didn’t understand it. He thought he didn’t like you that way so he said nothing to not alter your friendship; though, the backlash was pretty violent two years later when you got your first serious boyfriend, Jake was insanely jealous. At first, he just thought he was afraid to lose his best friend until he reached the dreadful conclusion: he has feelings for you and it’s too late, he missed his chance with you. As a consequence, Jake went from one fling to the other while you were going from one long-lasting relationship to the other without him understanding what you found to ‘those dudes’ like he always says. Though, these last few months, he has come to terms with the fact one of ‘those dudes’ whom you’ve been with for several years is the one for you. Jake isn’t sure he’s the one you deserve, and he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, that’s why he wants to fix his relationship with Lara, especially because your relationship with Scott is the longest one you’ve ever had and he’s probably your future husband so Jake definitely has to stop hoping you’ll get together one day. He has to move just like you did.

The next morning, once Jake wakes up, you’ve already left for work. While he’s eating breakfast, Jake’s eyes are set on a picture of you and him hung on your wall, he has his lips pressed on your cheek while you’re trying to hide your fluster with a smile. The picture was taken on the last day of High School and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t one of his favourites. He finds you cute in this photo. 

His phone ringing catches his attention. He unlocks it and discovers a text from Lara.

Message from Lara to Jake, 8:37 A.M.:

I’m willing to hear you out, but just because I want some explanations. Is tomorrow afternoon okay for you?

Jake quickly answers her and confirms the date. He should be happy, Lara is open to the discussion though, he can’t help his heart to tighten in his chest, and he stares at the picture on the wall again. He shakes his head and brings back his attention to Lara. You’re part of his romantic past, even if nothing ever happened, Lara is his future. He has to think about her, not you.

The minute you come home from work that night, Jake tells you about his date the next day. You congratulate him with a big smile, though your heart breaks a little. Jake rehearses to you what he’s going to tell Lara to make sure he won't ruin his last chance and you assure him his speech is perfect.

“White lilies, those are her favourite flowers.” Jake says point blank.

“Then offer her some. It’ll prove you care about her because you remember a small detail about her.”

“That’s why you didn’t want me to take roses?”

“Exactly. If you are lucky and it’s her favourite flower, you’re good but imagine if she hates them because she finds them cliché, you’ll ruin your chances before opening your mouth, ‘cause on top of not being original, you just prove you don’t pay attention to her. Roses are the safe option, yet it doesn’t mean it should be your choice at the slightest obstacle. You’re already taking risks by coming back after six months of radio silence so go all the way, don’t play safe with roses.”

“You’re right.”

“I know I’m right! And please, please, please, don’t buy her flowers only when you screw up. Do it when everything is good between you. Do it even when there’s nothing to celebrate. It’s those kinds of tiny details that’ll make all the difference, it proves you care about her. Of course, it goes further than flowers but you get the idea, the fact is, you can’t let a routine get in the way and the only times you break it and you give her some attention is to make up to her or believe me, it’s the breakup for sure because she’ll feel abandoned.” you specify, saying your last sentence at an incredible speed and Jake looks at you suspiciously.

“Is everything okay between you and Scott? It sounded personal at the end.”

“We’re not talking about me but you.”

“So the answer is no.” he affirms, reading you like an open book.

“We broke up five months ago.” you sigh.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me? What did he do? He didn’t cheat on you, did he?” Jake questions, protective.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just after six, almost seven years of relationship, we lost ourselves in a routine and we realised we were together out of habits not out of love. Besides, we argued more and more for useless things. It’s better like that.”

What you’re not telling Jake is that there is another reason. Scott was sure you and Jake are in love. No matter how many times you said your crush on Jake was only when you were a teenager and that Jake never loved you like this, Scott never believed you. Your friendship with Jake was the main argument between you and Scott.

“You should have told me sooner rather than pretending you were fine when we were on the phone.”

“Don’t worry, I got over it. Let’s talk about you and Lara again. You didn’t tell me a lot about her.”

“In my defence, I never thought I’d go further with her.”

Jake replies to your several questions, but he can’t help and think back to the information you just gave him. You broke up with Scott, something he didn’t think would happen. He was sure you were going to end your life with him. As opposed to your exes, Jake had to admit Scott did deserve you and it cost him a lot to say it, nonetheless he could see how Scott made you happy like he never could. Maybe this time Jake could make you happy? Jake pushed this last thought in the back of his mind. He agreed he had to leave you in the past. Jake can’t hope for a future with you when he’s about to win Lara’s heart again! He needs to stay focused.

Jake ends up leaving in the late evening to go to his place. You hug him and give him some encouragement for his date before closing the door behind him. That night, Jake struggles to fall asleep, completely lost about who he truly wants.

The next day as it is your day off and raining a lot, you stay home and clean your apartment from top to bottom. Music coming out of your phone, you wipe the floor with care when someone knocks on your door. You loudly sigh then put the mop back in the bucket and make sure it doesn’t fall before walking to the door whilst shutting down your music. Once you open, you surprisingly find Jake, soaking wet, with a bouquet of several flowers in purple tones.

“Jake? What are you doing here?”

“I remember.” he tells you as if you were supposed to get it.

“What are you talking about?”

“Prom.”

“What? Aren’t you supposed to be with Lara by now, anyway? And I thought you were gonna offer her lilies.” you question, after you understood what he meant.

“The flowers, they’re for you. I’m not playing safe, I know you love these kinds of bouquet because you can’t pick a favourite flower and your favourite colour is purple.” he says, handing you the bouquet, yet you don’t take it.

“What? Are you insane? Lara is the one you’re supposed to win over, not me!”

“That’s what I thought, too, but it wouldn’t have been fair to her. I still went to meet her and apologise for ghosting her though, she isn’t the one I want.”

“Jake, I don’t understand.”

“Can I come in?”

Without replying to him, you step aside and let him in. Jake takes his damped shoes off before walking to the kitchen entrance.

“I’m gonna get you a towel, I don’t want you to be sick. Make yourself a coffee to warm up.”

Whilst you grab a clean towel, you try to understand what’s happening. You didn’t expect to see him, especially with flowers. The second you go back to him, Jake puts his freshly poured cup down and takes the towel while handing you the bouquet once more and this time, you accept it. Without holding yourself back, you smell the flowers and tenderly look at them; you love them. Jake got it right. He’s proud of himself when he sees the soft smile on your face.

“They’re beautiful, Jake, but why?”

“Like I said, I remember. I remember what you told me during prom.” he specifies whilst drying his face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you lie, avoiding his eyes.

“I think you do. You told me you had feelings for me.”

You stare at Jake, confused. You were convinced he had no memory of that moment. In one second, your cheeks heat and you don't know what to do with yourself.

“I pretended to not remember because I didn’t know how to react and I’m sorry.” Jake admits, putting down the towel and taking a sip of his coffee.

“Don’t apologise, you saved me from a moment that would have haunted me until I die like this moment will.”

“I shouldn’t have ignored you.” he affirms, putting down his cup on the table. “You confessed something very important to me and by ignoring you, I broke your heart and mine in the process. I didn’t know it at the time but I also had feelings for you. I realised it too late, actually when you met dickhead number 1.”

“You mean Josh?” you ask, laughing.

“That’s what I said. Anyway,” Jake resumes getting closer to you, “I should have talked to you and not leave you in the dark. Your friendship means a lot to me and that night, I didn’t act as a good friend. Even if I hadn't had feelings for you, I should’ve said something and not let you deal with your broken heart alone. I’m sorry I broke your heart that night and if it’s not too late, I want to pull it back together. I never stopped having feelings for you. I spent years ignoring my feelings and every time I wanted to confess them, you were with someone else and now, it’s the right time. I want you, not an other girl, for worse or for better.”

“What about Lara? I thought you liked her.” you ask, trying not to get your hopes up.

“She’s nice but she’ll never make me feel what I feel with you. I would have never been honest with her if I had been with her. That’s why I never got in a serious relationship actually, you were always on my mind and I didn’t want another girl there. I wanted to try with Lara because I thought I had missed my chance with you so I wanted to move on, yet when you told me you and Scott were over yesterday, I knew you’d always be in my heart. That’s why I preferred to apologise to Lara without getting into a relationship with her. I could have never committed to her because I want to do it with you. I don’t know if you still have feelings for me and if you do, you’re probably hesitant considering my history and I get it though, I mean it when I say I want to commit to you.” he insists, looking you right in the eyes. “I’m not saying I’ll be perfect right away but you can be sure I’ll do everything to be. I know it’s gonna take some time for you to trust me but I will, forever and ever. I care about you, no, I love you and I want to do better for you. For once, I wanna be the good boyfriend and more particularly the man you deserve,” Jake states, putting his hand on your cheek, “the one who will buy you flowers at any occasion, the one who won’t abandon you, the one you’ll never get stuck in a routine with, the one who will make you happy, make you feel loved and who will cherish you until his dying breath.”

At the end of his speech, you’re at a loss for words. You didn’t expect a confession of love from him and you never thought Jake was capable of saying such beautiful things or even being serious about a relationship. Not knowing what to reply, you put your free hand on Jake’s cheek and kiss him with passion. He doesn’t waste a second to kiss you back. Among all the kisses he’s shared, this one is officially his favourite, and he hopes he’ll relive it every day of his life. His heart is beating fast in his chest while he brings you closer to him. As soon as you break the kiss, you look at Jake with eyes full of love.

“I never stopped loving you, Jake.”

Jake smiles as he hears your confession. He was very nervous when he came to your place. He was afraid he’d ruin everything, and he’s relieved to know he was wrong.

“Wow, your advice works wonders,” he suddenly says with a sarcastic tone. “Well, I improved your speech a bit but I approve of it. You really should get paid for your love advice.”

“I told you that’s how it works.” you affirm as if it was obvious. “That’s how you got the girl.”

“That’s how I got my girl.”

When you hear the emphasis on the pronoun, you avoid his gaze for a second, flustered. You clear your throat before speaking again.

“You should take me to a first date then.”

“Oh, I will. Any advice as to what to do on a first date? I have to impress this girl who means a lot to me.”

You both laugh then you bring Jake close to you again before pressing your lips on him, the second kiss even better than the first one.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Let's Go Together - Stiles Stilinski

Drabble Masterlist

Summary : You and Stiles do a horror movie night and you later regret it when you hear a weird noise.

Warnings : mention of horror movies, feeling scared, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English isn't my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 848

French version

Prompt : "Please tell me that was the wind." from this prompt list made by @the-moon-dust-writings

The title “The Nun” appears on Stiles’ computer and with the bowl of popcorn next to you, you start watching the third horror movie of the evening. Like the last ones, you’re not really afraid. You jumped at certain moments but nothing too bad. However, once the closing credits are rolling, you feel fear taking over your body as you think back to the several stories you’ve just watched. Yet, you don’t show anything to Stiles, too proud to admit it. He doesn’t seem scared so you don’t want to chicken out or he’ll tease you until the day you’ll die.

Tired by your horror movie night, Stiles puts down his computer before turning off the light. Cuddling together, you’re both ready to fall asleep. At least, Stiles is. Your eyes are wide open, your senses on high alert in case there’s a threat of any kind. You try to reassure yourself by telling you it’s not real. It doesn’t work. You turn around from Stiles and try to find a better position to sleep in, maybe it’ll help you. Alas, once again, you’re still awake. You sigh and turn again.

“Can’t sleep?” Stiles asks, startling you as you thought he was sleeping.

“No, I can’t find a good position.”

“Me neither.”

You growl in frustration. You get closer to Stiles again when there’s a sudden noise. You look at each other, completely panicked. 

“Please tell me that was the wind.” you whisper.

“Yeah, it probably was.” he reassures you but there’s another sound.

“What was that? Go check!”

“What? Why me?” Stiles retorts, appalled as he turns on the light.

“Because it’s your house.”

“So what? You should go.”

“Why should I?” you question him, shocked.

“Aren’t you the one who always says to kill the patriarchy you have to destroy gender norms? In this kind of situation, the man usually goes, so we’re switching. Go check what it is.” he exclaims, trying to get you out of the bed.

“I swear, you men fight for equality only when it advantages you! Come on, Stiles, go downstairs. You have a baseball bat!” you try to convince him.

“I can totally give it to you.”

“Your dad is the sheriff. You know more about safety.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Stiles, if I die because of a demon, I’ll come back to haunt you.”

“Y/N, demons don’t exist.” Stiles contradicts, failing to hide his fear.

“Yeah and we said the same about werewolves! And, if you’re so sure about it, go check.”

“I’m not moving from my bedroom.” he protests and you roll your eyes.

“You know what? Let’s go together. Take your baseball bat.”

You get out of bed, completely afraid. Stiles takes his makeshift weapon and looks at you, waiting for instructions.

“Go first, I’m following you.”

“Why should I go first?”

“If you really love me, you’ll sacrifice yourself to save me.” you affirm with a big smile.

Stiles stares at you with a deadpan look before rolling his eyes. You lightly chuckle before kissing his cheek.

“I’m joking, you know very well I’d never sacrifice you.” you add more seriously. “Come on, you have the weapon and I’m right behind you, don’t worry.”

Stiles sighs before opening the door while you grip on his pyjama t-shirt - no matter how stupid it sounds, it reassures you. At the top of the stairs, you notice lights coming from the kitchen, proving there’s a stranger. Your panic increases and you mentally say your last prayer as you walk down the last stairs. Stiles makes a sign to not make any sound. You’re about to enter the kitchen but you let go of a shriek when, by surprise, the person appears in front of you. The stranger puts his hand on his chest, lecturing Stiles. Opening your eyes - you didn’t even notice you had closed them - you only see Noah in front of you with a desperate look on his face.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

“We-”

“Well, actually-”

Stiles and you stutter for a few seconds before Stiles casually replying : 

“We were just trying to scare you.”

“Scare me? It’s four in the morning, you should be sleeping.”

“Well, I totally agree, we should, I mean, our joke clearly didn’t work, anyway.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go to sleep and you should too.” Noah says before taking a step. “By the way, Stiles, your baseball bat isn’t a weapon.” he adds, looking at his son up and down.

You wait for Noah to be in his bedroom before breathing normally again. You stay silent for a second, feeling completely stupid.

“You seriously didn’t remember your dad was coming home right now?” you reprimand him.

“Oh, so it’s going to be my fault now?”

“Yes! If you had thought for a minute, we wouldn’t have panicked for nothing.”

“You are the one who scared me with your demon talk.” he retorts.

“Oh, please! You were already freaking out.”

“Anyway,” Stiles interrupts, “no more horror movies after midnight. And no one has to know about what happened tonight.”

“Agreed.”

Drabble Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

To Be With You - Kate Bishop

Marvel Masterlist

Summary : After having a nightmare about you dying, Kate is scared for your safety but she doesn't know how to talk to you about her fears.

Warnings : character's death in a dream, anxiety, mention of Natasha's death, hurt/comfort, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warning.

Word count : 2.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Talk Too Much by Reneé Rapp

Fear can be read on Kate’s face, her wide opened eyes are set on you. Her bow is armed with an arrow, she doesn’t know whether she should shoot or find an other solution to save you. On the edge of the building roof, Wilson Fisk has his arm around your neck while his other hand holds a gun against your temple. Your body is shaking and your eyes are full of tears whilst you gaze at Kate, completely terrified. 

“You should listen to me, Kate, and give me what I want or you can say goodbye to your girlfriend.” Fisk threatens with a harsh voice. “If you really loved her, you would’ve already saved her.”

“I’m not giving you anything.”

“Are you sure about that?” He replies before shooting you in the legs to prove he’s being serious.

“Let her go!” Kate yells following you cry of pain.

“You know what you have to do to save her life.”

“Fine! I’m gonna give it to you, just let her go.”

“Kate, no!” you scream while Fisk tightens his grip on your neck.

Reluctantly, Kate slowly puts down her bow on the ground whilst looking at you as a way to reassure you. She takes her bag off her back and throws it at Fisk. A machiavellian smirk on his face, Fisk loosens his grip however he still doesn’t let you go. You can finally breathe a bit more easily when Fisk suddenly throws you on the side and grabs the bag. You scream as you feel yourself falling off the roof. Your body goes on the other side of the edge when a pair of hands grabs yours. Looking up, you see Kate holding you with all her might. 

“It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you! I’m gonna pull you up. Hold on.” she comforts you as she tries to haul you up and Fisk runs away from the scene.

“Kate, I don’t have any more strength.”

A tear rolls down your face the second you talk. You’re physically exhausted. Fisk kidnapped you for a whole day to set a trap on Kate and he didn’t go easy on you - he’s known for his cruelty and you’ve seen it first hand. However, you do everything to help Kate to haul you up, in vain.

“I’m gonna find a solution. I’m gonna pull you up. I’m gonna do it.” Kate repeats to reassure you but also herself.

In addition to your fear, acceptance also takes over your body. You know she won’t be able to do it. Kate might be strong yet, you feel your hands slowly slipping from hers so, you tenderly look at her with a comforting smile.

“It’s gonna be okay, Kate. I love you.”

Kate’s panic stops as soon as she hears your sentence, it’s the first time you say ‘I love you’. You’ve only been together for three months and until now, you didn’t dare to say those three words.

“I told you I’m gonna pull you up! Don’t say this as if you-”

“Kate, it’s okay.” you say softly.

“No, stop it. I-”

Kate doesn’t have the time to finish her sentence that your hands slip from hers and you fall down the building. Kate yells your name at the top of her lungs, your fall being engraved in her memory. The thud of your body colliding with the ground resonates and Kate can’t look away from you.

Kate takes a deep breath as she sits on her bed, panting. A hand on her chest, she tries to make sense of her nightmare. Kate brutally waking up makes you open your eyes so you turn around and see her, all shaken up. You sit down and put your hand on her shoulder, at your touch, she abruptly faces you, fear being replaced with relief in her eyes. You barely have the time to notice a tear streaming down her face when Kate throws herself in your arms.

“Kate, what’s wrong?” you question, worried.

“Everything is okay, you’re here.”

“You don’t seem okay.” 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I just had a dream.” she lies, breaking the hug and faking a smile.

“Wanna talk about it? You seem pretty upset because of it.”

“No need. It was nothing. It was just a stupid dream, it didn’t mean anything. I’m fine.” Kate quickly says before standing up from the bed. “I have to go, I have training soon. You can stay here, if you want to or you can do something else, I’ll probably be home late. Be careful and call me if there’s anything weird.”

Kate finishes her rambling by pecking your lips and then, she runs away from her bedroom as if it was on fire. You stare at where she left, completely confused. Despite what she said, you can see right through her and you know this dream upset her. You tell yourself you should talk to her about it once she’s calmed down.

The following days, Kate’s nightmare keeps haunting her mind and she still hasn’t talked about it. Her nightmare made her question herself, more specifically your relationship. Though she’s never said it out loud, she loves you and she can’t lose you. Yet, since she became a vigilante after meeting Clint Barton, she has to take into account the dangers of this new life. Clint mentioned Natasha a few times and even if her death wasn’t like the one in her nightmare, the fact is, the Avengers are in constant danger and by extent their loved ones, too. Besides, since Kate’s mom went to jail, she is even more scared to lose the people she loves. 

Now that Kate has realised what it truly means being in a relationship with her, she’s not sure you’ve realised it, too. Kate is afraid to be the cause of your death due to her lifestyle so she wants to push you away, but she also wants to keep you close to her, though she knows it might be selfish on her part. She should talk to you about it, on the other hand if she does, she’ll just fall down a rabbit hole by saying too much and probably breaking up with you, her fears growing everyday so she prefers to stay silent. 

Obviously you’ve noticed she acts differently. You’ve tried to put her at ease several times without being too direct, fearing you’ll get her back up, however she always avoids the subject. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Kate asks, worried, searching for a potential wound.

She doesn't mention her nightmare even a week after and stays lost in her own thoughts. It kills you to see her distance yourself from you like this. You try to talk to her as much as you can but it's like talking to a brick wall and yet you keep making the conversation even if Kate doesn't seem to pay attention.

One day, whilst you’re both walking in the street, you tell Kate about your last exam. As usual the second you’re talking with someone, you don’t pay attention to where you’re going, focusing on your interlocutor. As you’re talking about how you feel about your exam, you just feel Kate violently grabbing you and making you take a step back then you see a blue car driving fast and honking.

“Thanks to you, I’m fine.”

“You really need to look in front of you when you’re talking, especially while walking in the streets!” she retorts, annoyed, “If I hadn’t been there, you could have had an accident! They were driving super fast, they could have hit you. Do you have any idea how reckless you are? You scared me! What if I hadn’t seen this car, you would have died in front of me!”

“But you saw it just in time and you pulled me back before it could hit me. I’m fine, Kate, we were more scared than hurt.” you calmly affirm, hoping to ease the tension.

“Because you were lucky! You won’t always be, something can happen to you at any given moment.”

Kate’s breath gets more jerky and you understand this goes way deeper than a bad driver. You force Kate to look at you before saying with a reassuring tone:

“Kate, breathe. I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re both fine.”

“I got so scared.”

“I know. Come on, let’s go to my place.” you tell her as you start to drag her in the opposite direction.

“But you wanted to buy the new book you’ve been waiting for months.” Kate protests, confused.

“I’ll buy it another day. We should get home, far away from the cars.” you state with a small smile though Kate isn’t in the mood to laugh. “Too soon?”

“Yes, barely two minutes after your almost accident is too soon.”

“Sorry. Come on.” you say, taking Kate’s hand in yours.

You turn around and start walking to your place whilst you stroke Kate’s hand with your thumb as a way to comfort her. Kate’s reaction confirms you have to make her talk, even if you have to force her. Something is wrong and she’s anxious, more specifically about you and you don’t know why.

Once you get in your small apartment, you let her sit on your couch whilst you make two hot chocolates - no matter the season, Kate loves to drink them. You hope the hot drinks will put her at ease so she’ll talk more easily. As soon as the beverages are ready, you join her on the couch. You let her take a few sips before speaking.

“Kate, we need to talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” she states, avoiding your gaze.

“You’re clearly anxious about something, you can’t just stay in your fear all alone. Talk to me.”

“I…,” Kate starts with hesitation, “I wonder if you really know what you got yourself into when you decided to date me and if it’s not the case then, I wonder if you’ll still want to be with me when you’ll realise it.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“You died.” she bluntly states.

“Kate, the car didn’t run me over.”

“In my dream.”

“The one you had last week? Why didn’t you tell me?” you question, starting to understand the situation better.

“You died and it was my fault.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is,” Kate insists with teary eyes, “Fisk found me again and he wanted my bag - I have no idea what was so precious in this bag but he wouldn’t let it go and to force me to give it to him, he had kidnaped you. He even shot you in the leg and once I finally gave him the bag, he threw you off the building roof - because, yeah we were on a building roof - and I tried to pull you back but I didn’t have enough strength and… and you fell.” she tells you, her voice breaking at her last sentence. “You died and it was my fault. If I had listened to Fisk earlier, if I had had more strength-”

“Kate, it was only a dream.” you interrupt her, taking her hand in yours.

“It didn’t feel like a dream, it felt so real and it made me think.” Kate retorts, putting her cup on the living room table. “At any moment, it could be real. Now that I’ve worked with Hawkeye and with my mom who worked for Fisk, I could be a target and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I care about you too much to lose you, especially if it’s my fault. And even if I’m no Spider-man or Captain America, with time, I could have more enemies way more ruthless than Fisk and Fisk is awful enough. This nightmare was like a wake-up call, I can’t be with you because it means you’re in danger and you're already putting yourself in danger when you’re talking in the street without looking where you’re going. Who walks without watching where they’re going seriously?” She rambles before going back to her main argument. “The fact is, by dating me, you put yourself in danger and it’s something you should keep in mind,” Kate adds before taking a deep breath. “Okay, having said all that, do you still wanna be with me? ‘Cause, like, I wanna be with you, maybe even forever, holy shit, maybe not forever. I mean, I’m not saying ‘not forever,’” Kate nervously adds without giving you the time to answer, “I actually have no idea what I’m saying. Are you mad at me because I’m pushing you to break up with me because of a stupid nightmare? You’re mad at me, I’m sure of it and it’s cool if you are, I don’t care. It’s just that with this dream, I can’t stop wondering if it’s a sign, like a premonitory one, you know and if it’s true, I’d forever resent myself for not protecting you by giving you an exit when there was still a chance. And, oh my God, I think I talk too much.” Kate tells herself, “I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I should let you talk. Like you said, we should talk and… Ah! Just shut the fuck up!” she screams, frustrated.

“I haven’t said anything!” you reply, putting your hands up to prove your innocence.

“Not you, sorry, I meant me.” Kate corrects with a guilty face. “I meant I should shut up and let you talk.”

“Can I talk?” you ask after letting her breath for a second. Once she nods, you start speaking again. “Kate, I get your nightmare scared you, but it doesn’t mean it’ll happen. Besides, I knew what I was getting myself into by dating you - I mean, you bragged about working with Hawkeye on our first date so I knew for the whole vigilante thing, potential enemies and everything and I still accepted to go on a second date with you. I’m aware of all of this and despite it, I don’t want us to break up, particularly because of a nightmare.” you add with a soft yet firm voice. “And also, I don’t want to leave you alone. Being a vigilante is already complicated enough, you can’t isolate yourself. You have to talk to me when you’re not okay, especially if you get yourself worried sick. I want to be with you. I might not know how to do archery or fight but I can be here for you. I want to be here for you. You can try and give me every exit you want but I’ll still want to be with you. I love you, Kate.” you confess, looking her straight in the eyes.

“You love me?” Kate questions, stunned.

“Of course.”

“Wow, I didn’t think we were at the stage of our relationship and I didn’t think you’d say it during this kind of conversation. I mean, technically, in my dream, you said it before dying though we should probably forget about that dream. Anyway, I thought you’d say it when we’d be doing something much more romantic. God, I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

You lightly laugh before putting your hands on both sides of her face and kissing Kate. As she feels your lips on hers, Kate’s fears finally calm down. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds so it can allow Kate to focus on something else, yet it doesn’t mean it’s not full of love and tenderness. Once you break the kiss, Kate gives you a smile you find cute.

“I love you, too.” she says, stroking your right hand on her cheek.

“I love you and I want to be with you, Kate Bishop, no matter what you can say to dissuade me.”

At your words, Kate’s smile gets bigger, grateful she’s found someone so comprehensive and kind as you are. She couldn’t have dreamed of a sweeter girlfriend in this brutal world.

Marvel Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Falling - Katherine Pierce

Masterlist

Summary : The heartless Katherine Pierce is falling in love with you but she's scared of you.

Warnings : vampire!reader, The Vampire Diaries canon violence, mention of torture, angst, happy ending, implied sex (no actual smut), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

A/N : I've finally had enough time to write another one shot! So sorry for taking this much time, it's still be complicated for a bit but I'm hoping everything will be coming back to normal very soon!

Word count : 3.4k

French version

Song inspiration : Labyrinth by Taylor Swift

Katherine’s eyes are set on your figure as you’re laying down on your stomach, the sheet covering half of your naked back. Katherine turns around in the bed and faces you, she admires every inch of your face that isn’t hidden by the pillow, from your closed eyelids to your lips, those lips she loves to kiss so much. Katherine gets lost in her contemplation and reminisces about the first time you met.

Chicago was plunged into the colours of the night while you were behind a bar which wasn’t very frequented. You were feeding when the sound of heels hitting the paved ground caught your attention.

“I wanted him to be my diner.” Katherine's voice resonated in the alley.

“Too late.”

You let go of your prey, letting the man fall before turning around and finding Katherine; your eyes were wide opened as your exclaimed:

“As I live and breathe, Katherine Pierce!”

“I see my reputation precedes me.”

“The only vampire who’s escaped from Klaus for more than 500 years, it’s something rare. Really impressive.”

“I know.” Katherine had smiled proudly.

“May I ask why the infamous Katherine is doing in Chicago?”

“I’m visiting. I’m enjoying the free time I have while Klaus is busy with the Salvatore brothers and my pathetic doppëlganger to have some fun. Do you know any interesting places to fill up?”

“You have in front of you the perfect tour guide. Three hundred years of experience under my belt.” you had told her, getting closer to her.

“Show me the way.”

You two had matched so well that Katherine had found her way into your bed the same night. 

Following your meeting, Katherine stayed one month in Chicago with you and she even ended up considering you as a friend, a friend with benefits but a friend nonetheless. In your presence, Katherine feels safe, protected, something she hadn’t known for half a millenium. Thanks to you, Katherine always has a smile on her face, you make it your personal mission to make her break a smile.

Of course, Katherine isn’t someone who stays put. She had ended up leaving town and promising you to come back. 

And that’s what she did that night. She came back to Chicago after five months away from you because she missed you - though she’d never admit out loud.

As you shift position in the bed, your arm makes its way to Katherine’s waist, bringing her closer to you and also snapping her out of her daydream; Katherine enjoys this touch more than she’d want to. She let herself go to your embrace while inhaling your body scent with her eyes closed; whilst she engraves it in her memory, Katherine feels her heart beating a bit faster, something that hadn’t happened in a while - she always makes sure it doesn’t happen. Katherine’s thoughts are all over the place, searching for an explanation nevertheless the conclusion is unanimous. With dread, Katherine thinks: 

“uh-oh, I’m falling in love.”

She can’t accept it. She has to avoid these feelings. Love never works when it knocks on her door and she doesn’t want to lose you. She cares too much about you to ruin what you have so Katherine does what she does best, she picks up her clothes and runs away, leaving you alone in your big bed. 

Three months have passed since Katherine ran away. You’ve tried calling her, she’s declined all your calls. Katherine does everything to forget about you whereas all of your thoughts are focused on her. You don’t understand what happened; sure, sometimes she can be busy with other things so she doesn’t pick up the phone but she always calls you back. She always called you back. You worry about her, fearing she might be in danger. You don’t have any other explanations in mind so you’ve started looking for her. You need to make sure she’s okay.

From one supernatural creature to the other, you slowly get information on Katherine’s whereabouts. Katherine quickly gets notice of your actions and she makes it harder for you by putting you on the wrong track. She still needs some time alone as a way to be sure her feelings for you are gone. She can’t let them take a bigger spot in her heart. Katherine is lost in the labyrinth of her mind as she wants to repress the feelings that only want to be expressed.

However, you’re stubborn and know how to get what you want, you manage to find her a month later. 

You wait for Katherine at her apartment. You don’t know when she’ll get back though, you know you won’t let her slip through your fingers, you have to talk to her.

Katherine ends up coming home in the middle of the night. As her guard is always up, she knew something was wrong before she opened the front door. Carefully, she comes in and she sees a figure laying on her bed, Katherine speeds up, ready to attack but stops the second she realises it’s you.

“You’re freaking dumb! I almost ripped your heart out!” she screams, running a hand down her face.

“Why are you ignoring me?” you blankly ask.

“You should leave.”

“No. Not until you answered me.”

“I have nothing to tell you.” Katherine affirms, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Katherine, why are you ignoring me?”

“Because you’re annoying.”

“Tell me the truth.” you order, irritating her even more.

“Oh my God! Why do you insist so much? I owe you nothing.”

“I was worried about you! I thought something happened to you! I thought maybe Klaus hurt you.”

“I’m doing fine, you can go now.” she tells you, showing you the door.

“I’m staying.”

“Leave me alone, Y/N.”

“Answer me, Katherine.” you say, mad.

“I want you to leave me in peace! We had fun, it was nice but I want to move on so stop being clingy.”

“That’s it? Without a real reason? Everything was great and you woke up last time and decided to leave and never look back?”

“Exactly.” she replies, her voice deprived of any emotion.

“I don’t buy it.”

“Believe whatever the hell you want, I don’t care.”

“I know you, you’re hiding the truth.”

“If it was possible, you’d be giving me a headache right now.” Katherine sighs, rubbing her temples. “Leave it, Y/N!” she snaps.

“No, I’m not gonna ‘leave it’. You left without saying a word, you ignored my calls and you gave false information so I wouldn’t find you.” you enumerate, your last information taking her aback. “I might have never been on the run, but I know how you work. I know you’re running, from what I don’t know but you’re running from something.”

“You’re talking non-”

“Am I?” you cut her off, desperate. “Because it’s exactly what you’re doing. As soon as something you can’t control happens, you run away, you isolate yourself from everyone. You might not be used to this, but you matter to me so I want to know the truth, I want to know what’s wrong so I can be here for you. Don’t shut me out, talk to me.” you beg, taking a step toward her. “I’m here for you.”

You catch your breath once you’re done talking. Your gaze is set on Katherine, waiting for her to react, she doesn’t. Katherine is too preoccupied with being shocked to do so. Never had someone ever cared that much about her. She doesn’t know how to react. Only her heart does. It beats a bit faster whilst the feelings she’s been shoving down explodes once more in her chest. 

“Oh no, I’m falling in love again,” she wonders. 

She thought she had the situation under control, that she’d be able to protect herself like she always has yet, you make it hard. Katherine wants to protect herself from love. Stefan, Elijah and other people, it always ended badly. No matter how much she tries to stay in control. She accepted she isn’t meant for love so Katherine can’t give in now, not even when you do everything to keep her close to you.

Katherine takes a deep breath then her face is emotionless as she drily replies.

“I don’t want you, here or anywhere else. I’m perfectly fine on my own. I don’t get how you could think for one second that you mattered to me. You’re nothing to me so go away.”

Katherine’s words are like a stab in the back. Your eyes stings and you try your hardest to not tear up. You look at her one last time before slamming the door of her apartment behind you.

When Katherine is alone, a sob almost inaudible escapes her lips. She looks up, hoping no tears will fall. She didn’t fight for five hundred years just to crack now for something so insignificant! She is Katherine Pierce. She survived to the cruellest original, she can’t let herself breakdown because she doesn't want to fall in love. Though, the pain in her heart doesn’t help. Katherine tries to ignore it by thinking it only hurts this much right now before the pain eventually softens. It has to. Katherine breathes in then breathes out. It’s only a hard time to pass, she will forget about it quickly. That’s what she tells herself but a part of her knows she’ll be getting over you her whole life. The bond you have is too rare to be forgotten that quickly.

You haven’t talked with Katherine in the past six months. You miss her. You wish you had never lost what you had. You had never felt this for no one before. You knew being close to Katherine wouldn’t be easy. A lot of people told you to stay away from her because she only brings pain nonetheless, you didn’t listen to them. At first, you were glad you formed your own opinion. The minute Katherine lets her guard down, everything becomes easy and you spend an unforgettable time. However, when she creates walls, everything becomes painful. You wish you could talk to her again, but she hasn’t shown a sign of life since you left. Furthermore, you are the one who always makes the effort, it’s her turn to prove she cares about you. 

As a consequence, you go back to your daily life like it used to be before you met her, even if your heart bleeds from her absence. Some things seem more insipid, like the nights you spend alone, the walks you do in town without having someone to tell your historical facts. You struggle, though it’s slowly getting easier. 

One night, while the streets are lightened up by the lampposts, you notice a woman from afar. You have to look at her for a few seconds to recognize Claudia, she had helped you to find Katherine. She nods before disappearing behind a car which drives past her. You follow her whilst you’re searching for the reason why she’s here. As soon as you enter a dead-end alley, Claudia stops and faces you.

“Why all this mystery?” you question, joking.

“I have information on Katherine Pierce.”

“I found her six months ago, you’re late.” you tell her, starting to leave.

“She’s been kidnapped two weeks ago.” Claudia informs, your stomach twists upon hearing that.

“It’s impossible. It’s Katherine Pierce we’re talking about.”

“That’s what I was told.”

“And is your informer reliable?” you ask, searching for any trace of lie.

“Quite reliable, yes.”

“Who kidnapped her? Klaus? One of the Salvatore brothers?”

“No, it’s Everett Ackland.” Claudia says, this name sounds familiar. “Katherine caused him some problems two hundred years ago. He wants revenge.”

“Why does he keep her alive, then?”

“Katherine caused him problems with Klaus. He hopes he’ll make amends by giving her to him.”

Following her sentence, you remember what Katherine had told you about Everett and you know he won’t sell her to Klaus without torturing her first. Worry leaves its place to anger, knowing he’s hurting the person who means the most to you.

“Where is she?”

“He’s holding her at Bloomington, Indiana. I’ll send you the address on your phone.”

You don’t add anything else and walk away. As soon as you come home, you grab a few things, including some blood bags, then you drive to Indiana. On the way, you receive a message from Claudia and you drive faster, wanting to arrive as soon as possible.

You’re near the woods when you stop the car, a few metres away from the abandoned house. You walk to a tree and break a branch as a way to have stake. With your vampire hearing, you listen and find out there are four vampires besides Everett and Katherine. Determined and angry, you walk to the house.

Silently, you open the door and start walking. The moment you’re in front of the enemies, you kill them quite easily. You guess there are young vampires Everett created for his revenge plan. By killing his minions you know he’s aware of your presence. You stay on the lookout for every noise while going to the cellar where Katherine is.

As you go down the last step, you only have enough time to see Katherine when Everett attacks you. He pins you against the wall, making you drop your stake. You answer his attack and you start fighting back. Your fight lasts several minutes until you rip his heart out, not without smiling at him. His body drops dead on the floor whilst you let go of his heart. You turn to Katherine and run to her.

“Kat’, you’re okay?”

Upon hearing your soft voice, Katherine looks up, a relieved expression on her face. You glance at her body and notice the chains tying her up on the chair but also the first signs of drying up. She needs to feed right now.

“I’m here, it’s gonna be okay.”

You keep reassuring her while breaking her chains. The second Katherine is finally free, her body falls on yours. You barely hold her whilst she holds onto you as if you were her safety net. Paying more attention to her, you realise she doesn’t have her necklace to protect her from the sun anymore.

“Where’s your necklace?” you ask and Katherine points the table in the corner.

Katherine still leaning on you, you get back her jewel and put it back on her neck then, you put her arm around your shoulders and you two walk to the car where you help her to sit on the passenger side. Before closing the door, you go  to your trunk and get two blood bags then you give her one. In less than a second, she drinks it until the very last drop. As soon as Katherine feels better, you give her the second one then you go behind the wheel. While Katherine is feeding again, you start the car.

You’ve been on the road for more than an hour.  You’re focused on the way you drive whilst Katherine still hasn’t said a word. Her eyes are lost on the landscape. You don’t start the conversation, guessing Katherine probably needs time to gather her thoughts so just like she does, you stay silent.

You’re about to enter the State of Illinois when Katherine’s hoarse voice breaks the silence.

“Stop the car.”

“What?” you ask, not sure you understood.

“I said stop the car.” Katherine repeats louder.

“We’re almost there.”

“I said stop the freaking car!”

Abruptly, you brake, surprised by her harsh tone. You don’t have the time to put the car at a standstill when Katherine has already opened the door. She quickly walks, determined. You know she can use her vampire speed at any given moment so you run to her and stop her by gripping her arm.

“Let me go.” she says, mad and taking her arm out of your grip.

“And where do you wanna go exactly?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll see along the way.”

“It’s stupid, let’s go home.” you stop her as she is ready to leave.

“It’s not my home. Leave me alone, I can take care of myself. I don’t need you.”

“Yeah, that’s what I saw!” you retort, sarcastic. “You totally had the situation under control when you got kidnapped and you were chained.”

“I would have found a solution, as always. I’m a survivor, I can save myself.”

“It’s true you managed to save yourself for centuries but it doesn’t mean it always has to be this way. You gotta accept that sometimes you need help like right now.”

“You freed me once, don’t make it such a big deal.” Katherine exclaims, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not making it a big deal! I just want to show you I’m here for you when you need it.”

“I don’t need you anymore so leave me alone.”

“Why do you try so hard to push me away?” you question. “I know you told me I’m no one for you but we both know it’s not true. What we had was real and genuine and for some reason you decided to ruin everything. No matter how many times you try to convince me, I know it’s not true.” you insist, getting closer to Katherine. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have wasted that much time on me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have stayed all these nights and days. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have confessed that much about your past. Otherwise, you would have never been that vulnerable. Otherwise, you would have never searched for comfort in my arms when I came for you. So why? Why do you-”

“Because I love you!” she cuts you off, screaming.

“What?”

“I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you and it scares me.” she admits, looking at you deeply in your eyes. “Every time I allowed myself to feel those emotions, it brought me my own downfall. Every time, I ended up losing this person and I didn’t want to lose you. I’m afraid of being in love with you and losing you because I know if it were bond to happen, I wouldn’t be okay again so I preferred to run away rather than facing you.”

“I love you, too.” you confess, trying to take her hand unsuccessfully.

“Don’t say it because I told you. I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m saying it because I mean it. I love you, too and that is why I can’t let you walk away. I love you too much to lose you, too. And I know it won’t be easy because you went through awful things so you don’t trust easily but I can be patient.” you affirm, succeeding in taking her hands.

“You’re saying this right now but you’ll end up hating me like everybody else.”

“I know you. I knew your reputation well before meeting you and it didn’t stop me from getting closer to you. I learned to get to know you, the real you and it didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. I want you and everything it involves, the good sides and the bad ones. You can try to push me away as much as you want but I’m not going anywhere. I will always be there for you because I love you.”

Your hands on both sides of Katherine’s face, your eyes looking deeply in hers, your determined tone, Katherine’s heart can’t handle and starts to beat wildly. She didn’t expect this reaction from you. She didn’t expect that much conviction from you for everything you had. 

As Katherine’s eyes search for proof, even a tiny one, that you’re lying, she can only see honesty, love and the fear you have of losing her. At this moment, only a thought crosses her mind: 

“Oh, I’m falling in love.” 

She thought she was going to face another lost cause, see another love fall down, you just proved to her that this time, it could be different. This time, she can allow herself to fully fall in love without being scared, you’ll always be there to catch her.

Katherine puts her hand on yours, softly stroking it before kissing you with passion. You answer her kiss while bringing her closer to you as possible. Katherine loses herself in your kiss which, for the first time, doesn’t taste like a future betrayal but pure love.

Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

I'll Never Leave You - Dean Winchester

Masterlist

Summary : You thought your father, Dean Winchester, would always be by your side.

Warnings : Spoiler last episode of the show!, reader is Dean's daughter, no age mention but reader is a young adult, angst, character death, feeling of hopelessness, loss of a parent, bittersweet ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English isn't my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Marjorie by Taylor Swift

Laying on your bed, a book in hand and your dog Miracle at your feet, you patiently wait for your dad and your Uncle Sam to come home from the hunt. Since the apocalypses, the wars between Angels, Archangels and God have officially stopped, you took a step back from the hunting life. You still help them with the research but you don’t go on the field as much. You can finally have a normal - as normal as it can be when your last name is Winchester - and Dean supports your decision, glad to know your future is full of possibilities. 

You’re in the middle of a chapter when you hear the bunker’s door opening. Miracle raises his head while you put your book on the bed. You trot to the entrance where you only find Sam with an emotionless look on his face however you don’t notice it. 

“Was the hunt good? Where’s dad?” you question with a smile.

“Y/N, something happened.”

“What? Did you scratch Baby?” you laugh, yet your smile disappears as soon as you see his serious face.

“No, it’s Dean.”

“What is it? Uncle Sam, what happened? Is dad hurt? Where is he?”

“Y/N, wait,” Sam holds you back as you’re about to leave the room. “You should sit down.”

“I don’t want to sit down, I want to know where my dad is.”

“We found a vampire nest so we went there to kill them but Dean got hurt.”

“Is he okay, though, right?”

Sam stays silent for a long second before speaking again.

“One of the vampires pushed them against a beam and there was a spike. He got severely injured.”

“What do you mean, Sam? Tell me my dad is okay!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, Dean… he died during the hunt.”

Upon hearing this sentence, the floor crumbles underneath your feet. You can’t believe it. You stay speechless while Sam keeps talking.

“You dad wanted you to know he’s always been proud of you and he loves you. He also told me-”

“No…,” you interrupt him with watery eyes. “Wh-, How-, it can’t be.” you stutter, shaking your head. “He can’t die! He is Dean Winchester. He’s survived so many things. He can’t be dead!”

“Y/N/N, I’m terribly sorry.”

“No!” you scream when Sam is about to hug you. “I… I need…”

You don’t finish your sentence, too stunned to speak. You run to your room, tears rolling down your face, Miracle hot on your heels. You let the dog in the room before locking yourself in. Completely confused, you don’t know what to stare at. Your eyes look everywhere while Sam’s words are echoing in your head: ‘He died during the hunt.’ You choke while big tears stream down your cheeks. You fall to the ground as your heart bleeds. You can’t believe you’ve just lost your dad.

One could think it wouldn’t hurt as much after Dean cheated death so many times, however the pain is still unbearable - if not worse, this time. You grew up with only your dad and your Uncle Sam as your mom died in childbirth. Your family isn’t big but your love for them knows no limit. You had to overcome a lot of loss the past years, whether it was Bobby, Charlie, Castiel or other people, though the pain you felt at their death is nothing compared to what you’re feeling right now. You’re lost, begging in the empty for your dad to come back to you. Miracle has his head on your legs, trying to comfort you. You stare at him and you hurt a bit more.

Dean never wanted a dog, no matter how many times you asked him for one. He always used to say with your way of life, you couldn’t take care of one and above all, he’d say no dog would ever get in the Impala as long as he’s alive. However, the second your life went back to normal, he rescued Miracle. You secretly suspect he’s always wanted a dog and your whim was the perfect excuse to adopt one. When he brought Miracle home, you weren’t surprised to see he was the one he got. Miracle managed to find his way to Dean’s heart since they first met, though he would never admit it… would have never admitted it. 

Dean was finally having the life he’s always wanted, far away from the repeating apocalypses and it was taken from him as quickly as it came. It isn’t fair. You dad doesn’t deserve to die this young and you still need him. You’ll always need him.

You stay with your back against the door and Miracle in your arms for several hours. Actually, you don’t know how long you stayed in this position. You’re numb, time is standing still since your discussion with Sam. Maybe only two hours passed or a whole day, you have no idea and you don’t have the strength to check it on your phone. All you want is your dad. You don’t care what time it is or if you need to eat. You just want Dean and his comfort.

You think back to all the times you lost Dean and all the times he came back. There always was a solution. There must be one for this time, too. His time hasn’t come yet. You still can bring back your dad to life, no matter the sacrifice you have to make. You dry your cheeks and stand up. Determined, you leave your room and walk to the library, Miracle following you. You take several lore books you already know and others you’ve never read but could be useful. On the table, you have at least four piles of ten books, yet you’re still motivated. You could read thousands of books, as long as you find a solution, that’s all that matters. You take one and start reading it and taking notes with information that might be helpful.

You’ve just finished a whole stack when Sam’s voice snaps you out of your reading, startling you. Sam stares at you, worried while you don’t pay much attention to him before going back to your research. Sam sits in front of you yet, he stays silent. He watches you for a few minutes before speaking.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Alright. I’m gonna give Dean a Hunter’s funeral tomorrow. If you wanna join me.”

“Don’t burn his body!” you exclaim following his information.

“I have to and you know it.”

“No! If you do it, it’ll be even harder to save him.”

“What exactly are you researching, Y/N?” Sam questions, fearing your answer.

“A way to resuscitate dad.”

“Y/N, we can’t do that.” He firmly says and you look at him sternly.

“Why? That didn’t stop you and dad from doing it numerous times before, why would it be any different now?”

“Because everytime we wanted to cheat death, it caused major issues, you know that damn well.”

“Nothing we can’t handle. Dad can’t be dead, not like this, not now that everything is starting to get better. I’m gonna bring him back, no matter the price.” you affirm, opening a new book.

“Even if you have to die?” Sam interrogated, surprised.

“As long as he’s alive, that’s all that matters.”

“Y/N, your dad wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your life for him. He’d want you to live it.”

“It means nothing if he isn’t there.” you say, your lip quivering. “I need him, Uncle Sam. I have to bring him back.”

“We can’t.”

“We damn well can! We can find a solution.” you argue before having an idea. “I’m even sure if we asked Jack, he’d do it. After all, the current God likes us more than the last one, we’re his family.”

“Y/N, we can’t save him, not this time.” Sam insists, making you angry.

“If you don’t want to save your big brother who sacrificed everything for you, that’s your problem, as for me, I’m gonna save him, so either you help me or you leave me alone.”

“It’s time he rests in peace, especially after everything he went through.”

“Because of everything he went through, he deserves to live without worrying about Lucifer, God or another Archangel.”

You look at Sam, sure of yourself. Sam doesn’t reply right away before weighing pros and cons and admitting to you: 

“Dean specifically asked to not be brought back to life because he knew too well the consequences so respect his wish.”

“He was dying, he didn’t know what he wanted. Now, leave me, I have lots of research to do.”

Defeated, Sam sighs before leaving the library. He sees how desperate and in denial you are. He just hopes you’ll realise very soon bringing Dean back is dangerous and useless. Though he fears you’ll realise it too late and you’ll suffer even more. Either way, he promised Dean to be there for you and that’s what he’s going to do. Whether you want it or not, Sam will stay by your side to comfort you the instant you’ll accept Dean’s death.

The following day, Sam gives Dean a Hunter’s funeral alone. He tried to convince you to come but you refused, preferring to lose yourself in your research. Sam wished he could have done the funeral later, fearing you might regret it later for missing this last goodbye to Dean, unfortunately, it had to be done as soon as possible. 

Sam worries more and more for you. You’ve completely shut yourself out. You only read books in the library and do more advanced research on the internet without sleeping or eating. He brings you food however you almost never eat and you pull all-nighter after the other, despite his disapproval. He doesn’t know what to do to help you. He knew you’d be devastated when he told you Dean’s death but he didn’t expect this reaction. 

A few weeks later, the situation hasn’t evolved, except that now you’re locked in your room and not in the library as a way to avoid Sam. You’re still mad at him for not wanting to help you save your father. You don’t understand how he can be this passive. Your father would have done everything to bring back Sam if the roles were reversed, you’re sure of it.

You finish reading the last book you took from the library when you have an idea. You think you know where to look, except you didn’t see the book when you rummage through all the shelves or you would have started with this one right away. Just in case, you go through the mess that is your room now before going to the library and checking everywhere four times. You try to remember where it might be when a memory comes into your mind. You saw it last in your dad’s bedroom a few weeks before his death. You haven’t stepped a foot there since Dean’s last hunt. You just can’t. You’d like to, though. Normally, whenever you’re feeling down, you go find your dad in his room so he can comfort you. However, if you went to his room now, you’d face a loud silence and you can’t face it.

It was a few years ago during a fall morning. Dean had woken you up early. Too early. At 4:00 P.M. to be specific. He had woken you up because he wanted to have a father-daughter day. This was how you found yourself in the Impala this early while you were still mentally sleeping and your dad was happy to spend the day with you.

Reluctantly, you end up walking slowly to Dean’s bedroom. You stay in front of the door for some time, pondering if you should go in or not. You don’t know if you’re ready to enter his room but on the other hand, you need this book, it might be the solution. You take a deep breath and open the door. The corridor light penetrates the room and you can see the bed which is made, his music collection and the book you’re looking for on the desk. You turn on the light and take big steps to his desk, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible. However, you don’t do it. On the desk chair, you find one of your dad’s shirts. You get teary eyes as you take it and bring the cloth to your nose. You smell the familiar scent and you burst into tears in one second. You wish Dean would come to his room and tell you not to steal one of his tapes like you usually do. Everytime he’d admonish you, he’d pretend it bothered him when in reality, he loved knowing he passed on his love for classic rock to you. His bedroom is now all that’s left of him and you don’t want to lose this place, even the most insignificant piece of scrap such as the menu from the burger place a few miles away is now of an inestimable value. Your eyes fall on a piece of paper lying in the middle of the desk. Carefully, you read it and find it’s an application to become a firefighter on which you can see his signature with his name on the bottom of the paper. You sob when you think back of the first time your dad confessed to you he would have loved to be one if he hadn’t been a hunter. 

“You know, a father-daughter day can start at 10:00 P.M.,” you complained, yawning.

“You’re not gonna regret waking up early, trust me. We’re almost there.”

“It better be amazing or during the next roadtrip I pick the music.”

“Hell no! You know the rules.” Dean refused.

“Yeah, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, whatever. I deserve some compensation!”

“I got you some donuts.” he exclaimed, showing the pink box at your feet.

“It’s a good start.”

A few minutes later, you arrived in front of a lake. Dean told you to get out of the car and to lean on the hood with the donuts in hand. Despite the morning breeze, you started eating while watching the sunrise. The sky was a beautiful amber colour and it was reflecting on the lake, making the scene even more stunning. It was peaceful, save for the birds which were waking up.

“So, wasn’t it worth it?” Dean asked with a smirk. 

“Ok, you were right and besides, the donuts are delicious. I didn’t think of you as a fan of watching the sunrise.”

“I can be interested in nature!”

“Stop it or next thing you know, you’re only gonna eat salad like Uncle Sam.” you answered with a fake fear expression on your face to which Dean rolled his eyes.

“The fact is we’re having a great time as a father and daughter, away from all the supernatural threats.” Dean said, holding you close to him.

“True.”

“And like this, I can make it up a little bit for the father I am.”

“You don’t have to make it up. You’re a great dad.”

“No children should grow up like you did, like I did. I always promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistakes as my father and here you are in the middle of all this crap between two High School periods.” He grumbled, avoiding your gaze.

“Do I have to remind you I started hunting because I followed you, not because you forced me to?”

“I’m still mad at you for that. You shouldn’t have followed us when you didn’t even know what you were fighting, it could have ended badly!”

“The fact is I saved your ass from some werewolves.” you retorted with a proud smile.

“You especially got lucky. I didn’t know what I would have done if you had gotten hurt.”

“I learned from the best, nothing can happen to me.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. With Sam, we always got ourselves out of those messes just on time. I don’t like knowing you’re part of the hunting life.” Dean confessed with sad eyes.

“I chose it. You always give me a way out and I never take it because I like to hunt.”

“Maybe, but I wish you had the opportunity to lead a normal life, you deserve it.”

“I might not hunt my whole life, I don’t know for sure. For now, it’s what I want to do, though. To be honest, I don’t even know what I’d do if I weren’t a hunter. Besides, you deserve a normal life, too, you know.” you affirmed, firmly.

“It’s too late for me. And I’m not made for the apple pie life but it can be different for you.”

Your heart broke in your chest upon hearing your dad saying this. You wish his life had been different, that his dad had given him the choice when he was younger. Dean might have kept everything buried inside yet, you could read him like an open book. No matter what he affirmed you, you knew your dad wished for a calmer life.

“What would you have done, if you hadn’t been a hunter?” you randomly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“If you had the apple pie life, what would be your job?”

“I don’t know.” he replied but you didn’t believe him.

“You’re telling me you never thought about it ? You’re lying. I can totally see you in a job where you help others.”

“I would have loved to be a firefighter.” Dean confessed after marking a pause.

“You would have been a good firefighter, I’m sure of it. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll have your chance?”

“I don’t think so. I made up my mind I’ll always be a hunter and besides without hunting, I would have never met your mother and you wouldn’t be here so I’m grateful for this life.” he affirmed with a genuine smile.

“You’ll always be here, right?”

“Always.” he promised.

You kept watching the sunrise while talking about more random topics, you particularly complained about some teachers and Dean shared his High School experiences - while leaving behind some details as to not be a bad influence. 

In hindsight, you realise to what extent Dean could have lived the life he wanted. He was probably going to go less and less on hunts so he could do the job he always loved and his chance at a normal life has been ripped away from him. After everything he went through, he deserved this chance. 

The rest of the day, Dean taught you how to drive Baby, something that didn’t happen often. You were so happy to see your dad trusting you this much. You carefully listened to Dean to avoid making any mistakes. Dean, as for him, loved sharing this knowledge with you, despite having some anxiety over Baby potentially being injured at any given moment. After that day, this place by the lake quickly became your father-daughter spot.

Furthermore, you become aware you’ll never have a father-daughter day again where Dean wakes you before the sun so you could enjoy every instant. Had you known, you would have made sure to memorise every second of your last day. All of these memories are part of the past and you can’t bear the idea of it. You can’t stay another day away from your dad, you’re desperate and you must save him. You keep the shirt in your hand while you close the door then, you pray to Jack, looking up

“Please, Jack, if you can hear me, you have to help me. I’ll bother you only this one time, I promise. I won’t ask for anything else. I just need my father, you have to bring him back. Please, help me.”

You keep begging as you close your eyes as if it gave more strength to your prayers. After a few minutes, Jack’s voice saying your name resonates in the room. You open your eyes and throw yourself in his arms. You missed him so much. You quickly considered Jack as your little brother after he was born so the second he took over Chuck, you heart broke. You’re glad to see Jack replied to your call, despite his responsibilities.

“I’m happy to see you, Y/N.”

“Me too, you have no idea.”

“You prayed so we could talk about Dean. Let me tell you, he is in Heaven. He deserves it after everything he’s done.” he informs you with a genuine smile.

“He particularly deserves to live. Jack, I know I’m asking for a lot but he can’t stay in Heaven, he has a life here, he has to live it.”

“I can’t do that and you know it.”

“You’re the new God, of course you can!” you exclaim, appalled.

“After everything he’s sacrificed, he can finally rest.”

“No, he can finally live! Jack, you have to save him.” you beg, tears in your eyes.

“I can’t break the new balance we just made and also, he doesn’t want to, Y/N, he knows the price to pay and he doesn’t want you and Sam to pay it, you in particular.” Jack says, calmly.

“You’re lying! My dad would never leave me. Please, Jack, I’m begging you to help me. Whether you do it or not, I’ll find a way but with your help, I’ll cause less damage.”

“My answer stays the same. I’m sorry.” he insists, making you mad.

“Leave. I’ll do it alone. I don’t need you! Leave!”

Disappointed, Jack disappears, leaving you alone in Dean’s room. You can’t understand why no one wants to help you. You’re not asking to bring back a monster, just your father so why is everyone letting you down? Your tears who had stopped rolling down earlier find their way back on your cheeks again in a second. You’re sick of everything. You’re sick of crying. You’re sick of no one helping you. And more specifically, you’re sick of not having your father.

Mentally tired, you end up laying down on Dean’s bed and you hold the shirt close to you, hoping it’ll bring you some sense of comfort. You keep crying until you finally fall asleep for the first time in weeks.

A light breeze going over your body wakes you up. You open your eyes, not understanding where it comes from and you find yourself on the backseat of Dean’s car. You just have the time to look up when you see the car door opened and your dad telling you to get out of the car. Surprised, you need a second before jumping into his arms. Dean hugs you back and strokes your back while you pay attention to his shoulders moving at the rhythm of his breath to make sure he’s alive. After a few minutes, you break the embrace and Dean drags you so you can lean against the hood of the Impala which is parked in front of the lake. Dean puts his arm around your shoulder while you put your head against his.

“Dad, is this a dream or real? I’m confused, I haven’t found a solution yet so how can you be here? And how did I get in the Impala?”

“Jack must have found a way for us to meet again.” Dean answers, giving you hope, in spite of himself. 

“So, is it all good? You’re safe?”

“No, sweetheart. Jack and Sam were right when they said I didn’t want to be brought back to life.”

“Why, though? You finally had everything you wanted!” you anger, taking a step back from Dean.

“I can’t keep on dying and coming back to life, I had to die for good one day.”

“Yeah, when you’d be old, very old, not now!”

“I wish it could have been later, too, but it is what it is, there’s nothing we can’t do. Y/N/N, I don’t want you to spend your life trying to find a way to bring me back, it always ends badly. I promise you, I regret nothing, I’m fine and I can finally rest. You have to keep living without worrying about me.” he tells you, calmly.

“But I need you, dad.” you retort, shaking your head. “There’s so much I don’t know, there’s so many questions I should have asked you about the supernatural, what I’m supposed to do, on how to be and even more questions I haven’t thought about yet. It’s too hard without you.” you say, your voice breaking.

“You’ll be okay, I know you will. You’re a fighter, a Winchester. I’m proud of you and the woman you became, I hope you know that.”

“Uncle Sam told me, yeah.”

“Don’t push him away. He tries his best to support you while respecting what I asked him.” Dean tenderly states.

“You told me you’d never leave me. You promised you’d always be here.”

“And I meant it. I’ll always be by your side even if you don’t see me. I’ll never leave you and when the moment comes, we’ll meet again.”

“I want us to meet again now.” you cry and Dean takes you in his arms.

“I wish we could but we can’t. I’m sorry we didn’t have much time together. I love you, sweetheart, never forget it.”

“I love you, too, dad.” you say before breaking the embrace. “I’ll apologise to Uncle Sam, I shouldn’t have yelled at him.”

“He isn’t mad at you, I’m sure of it. It’ll be okay, don’t worry.” he says, kissing your temple. “Come on, let’s enjoy this moment. Donuts?”

A small smile finds its way to your face as soon as he hands you a donut. You take it and eat it, enjoying this precious moment. Mentally, you thank Jack and apologise to him before focusing back on the lake illuminated by the sunrise until you slowly fall back asleep.

The second you wake up, you’re in Dean’s room again, his shirt next to yours. A single tear streams down your face yet, this time, this tear isn’t only for the pain of losing your dad. This tear is full of sadness, yes, but also of joy as you got one last goodbye. This tear rolls down because you know Dean’s death is still affecting you notwithstanding, he’s right, he can’t be brought back to life and you have to accept it. You know that despite everything, he’s still all around you.

You look at the clock on the nightstand and discover it’s still early and the sun is still rising in the sky. You take one of your dad’s jackets in his closet and leave the bunker with Miracle who woke up when he heard you. Outside, you admire the dawn, your heart pinching in your chest a little. No matter how many sunrises you’ll have to live without Dean, you promise yourself to have at least a day during the week where you’ll wake up early and think about your dad. You want to keep him alive in your head and for this, you want to keep the traditions you had when he was still there.

The day officially started, you grab Baby’s keys and drive downtown, more specifically to the Fire Academy. You enter the building and wait for your turn at the reception. As soon as it’s your turn, the woman tells you to come closer and asks what you need.

“I’d like to apply to be a firefighter, please.”

The woman gives you some information and papers to fill and when she’s done, you thank her and go back to the Impala. Sat on the driver seat, you look at the papers with a bittersweet smile. Though you don’t see Dean, you know he’s here, right next to you, happy to see you officially quit the hunting life and realise your dreams and his.

Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

The Slut Of Hawkins - Steve Harrington [1/2]

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You're paying for the consequences of dating Steve Harrington.

Warnings : italics are for flashbacks, Slutshaming, school bullying (reader getting bullied) (talk to someone if you're being bullied!), implied sex, Steve is a bit of a coward, bad relationship with parents, angst, sad ending, fighting.

Word count : 3.5k

Song inspiration : Because I Liked A Boy by Sabrina Carpenter

The laughs were filling the fresh air of the early night. Laying on your backyard trampoline, you were cuddling against Steve. You had been getting closer recently and you had to admit, it made you feel good to have someone to talk to, especially when your parents weren’t there - which was pretty often, that night was another proof.

Steve held you a bit tighter in his arms while you were talking about your favourite singers. You had said some names like Madonna, Bowie though, it was the mention of The Beatles that caught his attention.

“The album Help! is definitely my favourite.” Steve informed you.

“Same for me, I love all of the songs but You’re Going To Lose That Girl and It’s Only Love have a special place in my heart.” you said whilst Steve looked away. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just that It’s Only Love was our song, to me and Nancy.”

“You really loved her, didn’t you?”

“She was my first love. Unfortunately, it ended pretty badly. It became complicated after her best friend Barbara disappeared. Besides, I have to admit, I was at fault, too but I’m trying to be better.”

“I’m sure you will.” you affirmed hugging him a bit more against you. “You’re not the same Steve you used to be. We wouldn’t be here, otherwise. You’re a good person, Steve, don’t doubt it for a second.” 

“Thanks for what you just said.” Steve smiled at you.

“Anyway, what do you think of I Need You?”

“Not really my favourite.”

“Steve Harrington, I am appalled! How dare you say this kind of stuff?” you exclaim, faking shock.

“You asked for my opinion.”

“And you were supposed to agree with me.”

“I don’t like it, it’s not my fault.”

“You just don’t get this song. You’ll see, you’ll be a fan of it one day, I’ll make sure of it.” you stated looking at him right in the eyes.

“I’m dying to see that.”

Your lips were only a few inches away. You didn’t dare to make the first step, even if you were dying to, you were too afraid to have read too much in between the lines. You liked Steve a lot, but you weren’t sure he wanted the same thing. Steve looked at you with stars and tenderness in his eyes, yours were quite similar. You both were waiting to see which one would bend first. Steve was the one who ended up breaking the inches by pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were moving slowly, taking in this innocent moment of the beginning of your relationship.

Now, the innocence is gone. Once you close your locker door, the word “slut” is written in big letters, reminding you of the price you had to pay for this moment. Who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless? 

Far away, Steve is watching you. However, the second you turn your head toward him, he looks down and goes in the opposite direction. It’s been the same thing for a month. You are called names and Steve turns a blind eye. You are accused of being a homewrecker and Steve receives sympathy for the pain you supposedly caused him.

During the day, you keep your head low, not wanting to draw more attention to you. Unfortunately, the insults just like the degrading pieces of paper keep coming your way. The only moment of peace you have is during lunchtime. 

At first, you hid in the bathroom then you ended up running into some girls who made you understand they weren’t on your side so you went to find a safe place in the janitor closet. At least, no one can bother you there. You don’t like the way you accepted the bullying however every time you tried to explain the situation, no one listened to you. So, now, you don’t say anything and you let people tell you who you are, hoping this story will end soon. 

In the afternoon, you have chemistry. As you got used to the past month, you sit at the end of the class, wanting to be far away from your classmates' judging look. You do your best to stay focused on the lesson but you have to admit since the beginning of the rumours, your grades have been falling. You keep your energy to survive the comments so you don’t have enough of it to keep your grades high.

While you finish writing what Mr. Kaminski just said, he announces you’ll work in pairs. Right away, your stomach twists and you want to throw up. You can’t work in pairs. You’ve never been a fan of group projects however now you hate it; it’s an open door to being called names nonstop for a whole hour. The teacher informs he’s already made the groups before saying them out loud. Like a convicted person, you wait for him to say your name. You’re part of the last group and you’re with Tucker Walker. At the mention of his name, you want to die. He’s part of the basketball team and he’s entitled. You don’t like him. You try to negotiate with your teacher to work alone but he insists.

“Come here, Y/L/N, I’m not gonna eat you.” Tucker laughs.

Reluctantly, you gather your stuff and go to his desk. You put as much distance as possible, wanting to avoid new rumours.

“I’m going to do the whole exercise and I’ll put your name on the sheet like this, you’ll have nothing to do.” you announce while starting to read what you have to do.

“Who said I didn’t want to work with you?”

“I don’t want to work with you.” you specify. “Now, do something else and let me work.”

“On the contrary, I’m sure I can be useful.” he contradicts, putting his hand on your knee.

“Take your hand off.” you say through gritting teeth.

“What?”

“Your hand. I don’t like you and if I’m not mistaken, you’re with someone.”

“It didn’t stop you with Harrington.” he says before leaning in. “You can meet me behind school later.”

“No.”

“You don’t have to play hard-to-get because we’re in class.”

“I’m not playing hard-to-get, I just don’t like you.” you repeat, trying to stay calm.

“That's what you say now.”

By some luck, Tucker takes his hand off and lets you work. You’re surprised to see him give up so easily. You know it’s hiding something else, from now on, you have to avoid him.

You finish the work sheet the same second the bell rings at the end of the class. You pack your stuff quickly and give the sheet to your teacher before leaving the room. Tucker doesn’t follow, allowing you to sigh in relief.

Walking by your locker, you discover the insult is gone. It’s one of the positive things with the janitor, he always erases the insults right away. Though, no matter how many times he erases them, he’s never reported it to the principal, leaving you on your own with the high schooler venom.

The moment you leave school, you walk to your car when you get stopped in your tracks. In front of you, there are four girls, Jessica - Tucker’s girlfriend - included. You try to not show anything, mentally preparing yourself for what she’s going to tell you.

“What makes you think you can hit on Tucker, my boyfriend?” she asks drily, “Being his chemistry partner and telling him to meet you behind school? That’s where you were going, weren’t you? He’s not coming. Unlike Steve, he won’t let the slut of Hawkins destroy our relationship.” Jessica affirms, you’re about to answer when she beats you to it. “Don’t even try to deny it, Tucker told me and Sarah heard you!”

“Well, she can’t hear correctly then and your boyfriend is lying. Tucker is the one who hit on me and I stopped him. He put his hand on my knee and told me to meet him behind school.” you retort, annoyed.

“You think I’m gonna believe you over my boyfriend and my best friend?”

“I know you’re not going to believe me. It’s so much easier to believe your boyfriend who tells you what you want to hear rather than the girl who shows you the true colour of your boyfriend. Don’t be too disappointed the day you’ll discover he’s cheated on you, if he hasn’t done it already.” you state with a fake smile.

“Take that back.”

“Why ? Everyone knows he’s a cheater.”

“He’s different with me.” Jessica insists and you shake your head.

“That's what he wants you to believe but the truth is, he’s sleeping around while keeping you under his hat.”

The sound of the slap resonates in the school parking lot. You look at Jessica with eyes wide open whilst you’re touching your cheek. For you, that’s your last straw, you answer to her attack by pulling at her hair. Jessica’s scream alerts the adults around while her friends try to separate you two. You keep giving her a piece of your mind when two arms wrap themselves around your body and gets you away from Jessica. Being separated doesn’t stop both of you from insulting one another and trying to go for the throat again until Mister Jenkins arrives.

“That’s enough! What is going on here?”

“She attacked me!” Jessica lies, pointing at you.

“What? You’re the one who slapped me first.”

“She’s lying, we saw her, sir!” a friend of Jessica adds.

“They’re lying, Jessica did hit her first.”

Looking behind you, you discover the one who is holding you back and who is defending you is none other than Eddie Munson. You didn’t even see he was around and you certainly didn’t expect him to defend you.

“Are you seriously going to believe what Munson is saying?” Jessica questions, faking tears. “He’s always against us! He’d say anything to get us in trouble. I’m the victim here-”

“You’re talking nonsense, you-” you cut her off before Jenkins gets your attention back.

“Enough! I have enough. Go to the principal, now!”

And that’s how you end up in Mister Higgins’ office for the first time. You can’t believe the situation got this bad. The worst part isn’t listening to the disapproving speech of the headmaster, it’s actually witnessing your mom’s disappointment beside you as he speaks.

While the principal is explaining to your mom and Jessica’s mom what happened, you look at your feet, holding back tears of anger. Once he’s done talking, Higgins catches your and Jessica’s attention.

“Do you have anything to add?”

“I didn’t attack her first.” you insist.

“Everybody saw you!” Jessica retorts.

“You’re the one who accused me of stealing your boyfriend. I did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, just like you didn’t break Nancy and Steve’s relationship.”

“Sir,” you start, trying to keep a calm voice, “I’ve been receiving insults for more than a month now from everyone including Jessica. She called me a slut then she slapped me when I told her her boyfriend was cheating on her. Eddie Munson saw it, he told Mister Jenkins.”

“Munson,  the one leading a cult? What a reliable source!” Jessica’s mother states, rolling her eyes.

“Madam, please.” Mr. Higgins reprimands. “One witness against Jessica’s three friends doesn’t bring a lot to the table.”

“So you’re not even going to do something about the harassment I’ve been receiving?”

“Y/N.” your mom says drily.

“I’ve never heard anything about people being mean to you. However, your grades haven’t been going down for some reason.”

“If you cared a bit more about your student, maybe you’d know why.”

“Y/N, enough!” your mom orders you before turning to Mister Higgins. “I apologise. I guess Y/N will be punished?”

“Indeed, we can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour. Technically, this kind of situation can lead to expulsion though considering Y/N has always been a good student - until now -, we’ll just say she’s going through a bad phase. Y/N will have a month of detention and you will be doing an assignment on bullying.”

Before you can protest, your mom glares at you. You stay silent while your mom apologies once again for your behaviour. Your mom’s grip on your arm forces you to stand up and to leave the office. She doesn’t say anything until you arrive at your car where she orders you to get home right away.

Once you’re home, your mom informs you you’re not allowed to drive your car therefore, you have to take the bus to go to school before informing you to stay in your room until your father arrives.

The second you close the door, you finally let your tears of anger stream down your face. You’re frustrated by the whole situation and you have never felt this alone before. You lay down on your bed rolled up in a ball, searching for some comfort. As you search for that much-needed comfort, your mind takes you back to a time in your life when you had it without needing to make any effort.

At one point, you had this comfort with you. When everything was still going great, it wasn’t rare for Steve to come to your place and put on a smile on your face.

You had been a couple for three months and no one knew about your relationship. You preferred to not say anything, wanting to protect what you had. Thanks to your relationship, you both felt less alone, you finally felt like someone cared about you, that was why you felt so good with him. Therefore, you would see each other when your parents weren’t home. As you didn’t want to stay alone for another night, you had invited Steve to come. Knowing he was in the same situation, Steve had rang at your door thirty minutes later.

Laying on your bed, you were enjoying each other’s presence after your first intimate moment you had just shared. Steve had his arms wrapped around your hips, pressing your back against his torso.

“You know,” Steve started, whispering in your ear, “maybe you’re too late to be my first love, but you’ll always be my favourite. I like what we have.”

“Me too. I like you, Steve, a lot.” you told him, turning around to look at him.

“I like you a lot, too.” he replied, tenderly kissing you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the harsh voice of your father ordering you to come downstairs. You fastly wipe the tears away from your cheeks and prepare yourself for what your parents are about to tell you. While you’re walking down the stairs, your father makes a sign to go to the kitchen. You sit whilst your parents stay on their feet on the other side of the table, a severe expression on their faces.

“Is it true what your mother told me? You’re getting into fights now?” your dad says, angry.

“I was only defending myself, Jessica attacked me first.”

“Why would she attack you? I know her dad, she’s a nice girl.”

“She called me a slut and she accused me of stealing her boyfriend when I didn’t do anything.”

“Why does she say you did then?” your mom questions, annoyed.

“Because she’s against me like everyone else in this school!”

“Lower your tone, young lady.” your father orders.

“It’s about what she said about Steve and Nancy, isn’t it?” your mother wants to know with accusing eyes.

“Yes, they accuse me of breaking their relationship when it’s not the truth.”

“Because you never did anything with Steve, didn’t you?”

“How do-” you start, shocked to discover she knows.

“It’s a small town and you really thought the neighbours wouldn’t see you sneaking in a boy in our own house?”

“You sneaked in a boy?” your father angers.

“And according to Miss Johnson, it went on for several months,” your mom specifies, “aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

At this sentence, the tiny bit of hope you still had about your parents disappears. You can’t believe your own mother is against you. You’re getting used to the reputation people gave you but hearing your own mother implying you’re less than good because of your relationship is the final blow. You can’t understand how liking a boy could destroy everything.

“Steve and I got together after he broke up with Nancy, I almost wasn’t talking to him when he was still dating her. Steve was my boyfriend and we did nothing wrong!” you defend yourself, feeling the tears coming.

“Of course and you did nothing wrong when you attacked this poor Jessica.”

“Poor Jessica? She insulted me and hit me. I did nothing. Why don’t you want to believe me? I’m your own daughter and yet, you’d rather believe Jessica than me.”

“The facts are here!” Your father yells. “Besides, we should have reacted a long time ago, have you seen your grades? Do you really think you’re going to pass your year like this?”

“My grades are getting worse because I’m going through a living hell at school.”

“Stop playing the victim! We have enough of your behaviour. You have to do better and quickly. Go to your room right now! And don’t forget to apologise to Jessica.”

Tired of screaming in the void, you don’t answer your mother’s order and run to your room. Mad, you slam the door behind you. Normally, you’d be scared to hear more reproaches however at this moment, it’s the least of your concerns.

You throw yourself on your bed and you hold back a scream of frustration. You can’t understand why your own parents don’t have your back. They didn’t even try to listen to you, they only blame you some more. You know it’s stupid yet a part of you was hoping they would understand. You were wrong, no one is on your side; you didn’t think it possible, yet, you feel even more alone.

If you thought you already were the public enemy, the second you get back to school the following day, you realise it’s worse. Everyone is staring at you, you’re called even more names just like the whisperings got worse. You’re being even more discreet than usual - if it’s possible - wanting to keep to yourself.

In hindsight, you tell yourself you wouldn’t recommend dating boys with exes, it’s not worth all the pain and all the bullying that comes with it, in particular if the boy in question ignores you.

When you go to your last class of the day, you wish you could say you’re finally about to breathe but you still have detention. You have to stay at school a few more hours.

Sitting at your usual seat in your history class, you put your notebook on your desk. Your eyes land on the last page you wrote until they fall on the inscription carved on the desk: “the slut of Hawkins = Y/N.” It’s not the first time you see those words, it’s actually on this very table you discovered your life was about to change before you could do something about it. Despite the time, those words still feel like a knife in your chest. You distinctly remember the moment where everything fell apart.

You were behind the school building with Steve. You had been together for four months but contrary to the first three, it wasn’t going on so well between you two. You didn’t get along anymore. No matter your effort to hold him close, it was always ending in an argument. The main reason for it was that you were more invested in this relationship than Steve. You had noticed this the moment you had tried to get closer to him at school.

“I’m not asking for a lot, Steve! I’m not asking to make out with you in front of everyone, I just want to, at least, be able to talk with you without you ignoring me. I’m your girlfriend and yet, it looks like you don’t know me.”  you pleaded, mad and desperate.

“You said you wanted to keep our relationship for us.” Steve retorted, avoiding your eyes.

“That was before it became more serious between us. I like you and I want to say you’re my boyfriend.”

“I know but you know that with Nancy-”

“What are you bringing her into this? She moved on, unlike you! She’s with Jonathan, I don’t think she cares if you’re dating again. Why are you searching for an excuse? I thought you liked me, too.”

“It’s true.”

“Really? It doesn’t look like it!” you said, outraged. “I feel like I’m alone in this relationship. Everytime I take a step towards you, you push me away. I’m getting tired of it. I don’t even know why I even try to save our relationship when it’s clear you don’t care.” you finished, going inside the building.

“Y/N, wait-” he tried to hold you back.

“No, we’re done, Steve!”

That day, you ended your relationship with Steve, signing at the same time the end of your peaceful life in high school. While you were arguing, someone had heard you and had twisted the whole story. Before you could react, the rumours had started to fly a few days later at school that you had ruined the relationship with Nancy and Steve by seducing him. There was nothing you could do to correct the rumours. Just because you liked a boy, you got judged as a homewrecked and you had to accept your sentence.

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Back To Life - TASM!Peter Parker

Marvel Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Summary : Your mom and May set you and Peter up on a date, thinking you'll be a good match but both of you think it won't work.

Warnings : mention of Gwen's and Uncle Ben's deaths, mention of toxic relation (no details), anxiety, a bit of angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.1k

French version

Song inspiration : Electric Touch by Taylor Swift Feat. Fall Out Boys (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault)

Your clothes are scattered everywhere in your room; it looks like there has been a tornado though it doesn’t stop you from looking for the perfect outfit in your closet. Wrapped in a bathroom towel, despair takes over your body, you should have never listened to your mom. At least, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You grunt when someone knocks on your bedroom door, you tell the person to come in and your mom enters.

“You’re still not ready? He’s coming in thirty minutes!”

“Yes, mom, I know!” you drily retort before taking a softer voice, “Sorry. I just don’t know what to wear, I’m getting fed up.”

“Just put on something you feel good in.”

“Easier said than done! I only find flaws in my clothes. I don’t even know why I listened to you in the first place. I don’t even know him and we already have a date. This guy might be awful.” you start to ramble, pacing around your room. “I mean, you don’t even really know him either. You only know what your colleague May told you. Maybe she made him better than he actually is!”

“I might not know him personally, though I’ve seen him several times and do I need to remind you you saw him once, too. You even found him cute.”

“I saw him for five minutes, two years ago, it doesn’t count.”

“I’m sure Peter is a nice guy.” your mom affirms, stroking your cheek to calm you down. “Just to prove it to you, whenever May forgets her lunch, he always brings it to her with a big smile on his face and a kiss on the cheek. He always comes with her at work when it’s dark. And every time I talked with him, he was really polite. Do you seriously think I would have set you up on a date with the first guy I found? I have some instincts, sweetheart.”

“I’m still not convinced. We only exchanged, like, three messages and it was just to make sure it was still okay for today. Besides, maybe he won’t like me. And even if it works out tonight, who knows if it’ll last? I got a history of stories ending badly. That’s it, I’m not going, it’ll be for the better.” you state, taking your phone but your mom takes it from your hands.

“You’re not gonna cancel. Just breathe, just relax, it’ll be okay.” she tells you softly. “Look, I know your last relationship with George went bad and you suffered a lot because of it but you can’t keep closing your heart to new people because you’re scared you’ll find another version of him. Furthermore, even if things didn’t match between you and Peter, which I know won't be the case, you would have at least taken a step forward, you don’t have to be worried. Come on, put this on and you’ll see, you’ll be beautiful and at ease in your clothes.” your mom adds as she gives you a mid-length dress. “I have to go to work. Text me when you’re home, okay? Be careful. It’s going to be okay, sweetheart, I’m sure.”

Your mom kisses you one last time on the forehead before leaving your room. You let go of a sigh then finish getting ready. While doing your makeup, you can’t help but keep checking your phone, waiting for a potential message from Peter telling you the date is cancelled. Your mom managed to calm your anxiety down, yet your fear quickly came back once you’re alone again. For you, this date can only end in two ways: either it ends badly and it’ll break your heart, which is most likely to happen, or everything will be good and your heart will finally heal, which you doubt. You wonder if Peter is in the same state of mind as you.

The answer is easy: his state of panic is worse than yours. He only agreed to this date to make Aunt May happy. Since Gwen’s death, he has closed himself off but now, he wants to make an effort. However, among those efforts, ‘going out with other people’ wasn’t part of it, especially if it ends up putting another person he loves in danger; he can’t reproduce what happened with Gwen. At first, he tried to get out of it, though May insisted so much that he gave in. He sees this date as his last chance to check if he can have a romantic life whilst being Spider-man. He’d love for it to work just one time yet he can’t help but be pessimistic about it. 

Knowing you’re only meeting at the end of the day, Peter decided to go on his daily patrol earlier. Nothing much stands out of the ordinary, therefore, he comes home just on time to get ready. At least, no matter if this date is catastrophic, he’s sure he’ll be on time.

Entering his room, he takes off his Spider-man suit and takes a shower. In his closet, he takes the first outfit he finds then he starts panicking. 

“It’s a first date, I can’t wear whatever clothes I find,” he tells himself. 

He’s about to change when he wonders why he’s overthinking this much when he knows it’s not gonna work out. You’re probably not going to like him or vice-versa. So, he puts back on his black t-shirt and takes a glance at himself in the mirror. His outfit is casual, maybe too casual for a first date. He should add a jacket. He can’t tell the difference it makes. He has no idea if his outfit is okay. After all, he doesn’t want to try too much but on the other hand, he wants to try a bit, you deserve to have a date with a guy who is presentable. He ends up changing his black t-shirt for a dark blue one. It’s less sad, isn’t it? As soon as he checks the time, he realises he can’t think any longer and goes to do his hair. May interrupts him to tell him she’s leaving for work.

“You look cute like this, I’m sure Y/N will agree with me.”

“Don’t know.” Peter mutters, turning around to be in front of May.

“Believe me, it’s already the case. Her mom told me you caught her eyes.” She affirms with a big smile.

“It doesn’t mean this date will go well. I’m not even sure I want to go out with someone else, Aunt May.”

“Peter, I know Gwen’s death has been hard on you but you can’t stay stuck in a world where Gwen is with you,” May starts as she puts her hands on her nephew. “You have to move on. That doesn’t mean you’re going to forget her. Gwen will always be in your heart and that’s normal, but it doesn’t mean you can’t let another person in. Besides, this date doesn’t have to end with a relationship. I’m already proud to see you allow yourself to move on despite the pain.”

“I miss her.” Peter whispers.

“I know, honey.”

“Do you think pain ever stops?”

“I think it becomes easier to live with it,” May softly answers. “You know, now I can think about your Uncle Ben without feeling my heart breaking completely. I can think about the good memories first before remembering he’s not here anymore. It’ll be okay for you, too, Peter. I’m sure of it.”

Peter smiles one last time at his aunt while she leaves the room. When Peter is ready, he checks his phone and sees you haven’t cancelled last minute, so he has no other choice than leaving to take the subway. Technically, he should be at your place at 7:00 P.M. sharp so you can go to a dinner which is fifteen minutes away from your home. 

In the subway, Peter’s stress gets higher and higher as he thinks about what he could say to you, after all, he doesn’t know you. Your conversations might be empty and if it’s the case, it’s going to be a very very long date. As he thinks about a question he could ask you as an icebreaker, the subway abruptly stops. Peter looks through the windows and he sees they haven’t arrived at the next station yet. Suddenly, a voice interrupts Peter’s interrogations as it informs them:

“Dear passengers, we are currently having some technical difficulties. We are doing everything we can to fix the situation as quickly as possible. We apologise for this inconvenience.”

Peter sighs once he hears this information. He is going to be late. Great. He takes his phone out of his pocket to text you but, of course, he doesn’t have a signal.

For him, this breakdown is like a sign, he shouldn’t have accepted to go out with someone. Even if all of this doesn’t end like Gwen, the fact is, it won’t work, it’s for certain. He’d like not to suffer again, yet Peter feels like he’s allergic to happiness. 

Peter tries to calm down his anxiety as he thinks back to Aunt May’s words and puts his phone away before waiting until the situation is fixed. 

As for you, you’re waiting for Peter, sitting on your living room couch. It’s almost seven, he should be here any minute now. From time to time, you glance at the window but you don’t see him. The more the time goes by, the more you’re fidgeting. 

“Just breathe, just relax, it’ll be okay”, your mother’s words resonate in your head in vain.

Your eyes go from the window to your phone, both of them bring you no news about Peter’s whereabouts. You start biting your lips, imagining the worst case scenarios. Maybe he stood you up? No, your mom assured you he was a nice guy, he wouldn’t do it. Maybe you gave him the wrong address? You check your messages and discover you made no mistake. Maybe you were wrong on the day and time of the date? Once again, your messages prove you wrong. Maybe something bad happened to him, then? No, you can’t start imagining awful things. He’s just late, nothing else. Right?

You wait a little bit more and when it’s half past seven, you text him to know where he is. You don’t get an answer. You start biting your nails whilst your heart begins to race in your chest, the stress getting out of hand, you don’t understand what’s happening and you start second-guessing this date. It was clearly a mistake, you should have never agreed to it. You would have loved for it to work for once however it seems like you’re doomed. You were right, you are going to have your heart broken and this date will end badly - if Peter ever shows up.

After being stuck for forty minutes in the subway, Peter finally arrives at your station. He weaves in between people as he runs so he isn’t any later than he already is. Five minutes later, he sees your house from afar. As soon as he passes by your living room window,  you see him running like he’s being chased by something. Checking your phone, you see it’s 8:05. He’s more than an hour late, at that realisation, you roll your eyes. He better have a good excuse. You have already had guys who weren’t punctual, you don’t need another one! 

Once he’s at your door, he quickly runs a hand in his hair, takes a deep breath before knocking. He waits for a moment before you open the door. As soon as he sees you, Peter is mesmerised by your beauty so he just stands there, saying nothing. When you give him a look, he snaps back before speaking. 

“I’m so sorry for being late. I was stuck in the subway and-”

“I would have appreciated a text.” you interrupt him, drily.

“I didn’t have a signal. I got one once I arrived at the station. Normally, I’m always on time, I swear. I’m sorry I made you wait. You probably thought I stood you up which is totally normal but I didn’t. I tried to come here as soon as I could when the subway worked again.” Peter explains and you can tell he’s being sincere. “I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I? I didn’t mean it. I totally get it if you don't want us to go out.”

“I still want to. The subway broke down, it’s not your fault,” you reassure him with a smile.

Upon hearing your sentence, Peter smiles back at you. Even if he wasn’t excited to go out with you, he made a commitment to you and he always makes sure to fulfil his promises.

You take your bag and close your front door. Peter lets you walk first and you go to the diner. On the way there, you ask Peter a few more questions about the subway breakdown, not really knowing what topic is best to bring first.

Once you’re at your table, you keep doing small talk. Just by looking at you two, people could tell you’re not at ease, you don’t know how to act toward the other. None of you is ready to have a deep conversation. It's as if you have forgotten how to act on a first date. You even think about making up an excuse to leave. The conversation is awkward until you order your food. After talking about yet another random topic, Peter sighs before talking: 

“I’m sure this situation is as awkward for you as it is for me. Your mom and my aunt set us up but it doesn’t mean it has to feel like this. I don’t know for you, but it’s my first date in a long time and I’m a bit rusty. My last relationship ended…, let’s just say, tragically, and so maybe we don’t really need to put big expectations for tonight. We should just get to know each other without expecting anything in particular and just see where it leads us, if that’s okay with you?”

“That’s okay with me.” you agree, letting go of a sigh of relief. “My last relationship ended badly, too. It was pretty toxic and I have to admit I need to warm up to new people first.”

“Let’s take it slowly then. No need to have a big romantic date, let’s just have a nice moment with someone new. What do you say?”

“I say I agree with you.”

From that moment on, the tension leaves your table, letting you get to know each other in peace. Peter asks some questions about the last book you read and quickly, you start talking about your interests, no matter if you have them in common or not. 

In the end, you spend a good moment together. You hadn’t laughed that much in a long time. Peter is instantly enamoured by your laugh, loving the way your face brightens. Peter talks a bit about him and you have to admit you like his personality more and more. You mom was right, Peter is genuinely nice. At some points, you both mention your last relationship, without going into too much detail. You still have a long way to go, though you’re not against the idea of walking side by side.

After eating, you stay a bit longer at the restaurant, not noticing the time going by. When you leave, it’s past 10:00 P.M. As soon as you’re outside, you shiver because of the cold night. Peter notices it and offers you his jacket. At first, you refuse, but he insists so you accept it. As he puts his jacket on your shoulder, his right hand brushes past your shoulder and you shiver again, yet  this time, it’s not because of the cold, your heart also beats faster yet, not because of your anxiety. His touch is like electricity and upon raising your head, you see how close Peter is to you and you think about how even more beautiful he is at this distance. You try not to show anything as you start walking to your place.

On the way home, you keep talking and you wish this moment would never end. You never thought you’d feel this connected to a man this quickly. As for Peter, he never thought he would let himself look tenderly at another woman who isn’t Gwen. Aunt May was right, Gwen will always be in his heart however he’s not as against the idea of letting someone new in as he used to be. Maybe not right away, but if you were to find your way to his heart, he would be happy about it.

Once you’re in front of your door, you give Peter his jacket back and you secretly hope to touch his hand but the clothes prevent you from doing it. You smile at Peter as he finishes talking about his theory about the multiverse. 

“It was really nice tonight. I didn’t think I would have such a great time.” he smiles.

“Me neither. I had some apprehension.”

“I get it.”

“You know, I wouldn’t mind doing something like this again,” you start, avoiding his gaze, “I’d be happy to see where this leads us, even if we’re taking our time.”

“I’d be happy about it, too. Do you think it’s too soon to tell you you’re stunning? I’ve been thinking about it all evening and I just thought I should tell you before leaving and regret not telling you.”

At his compliment, your cheeks heat up while a smile makes its way on your face which Peter finds more than cute. Knowing he made you smile warms his heart.

“It’s not too soon, I appreciate the compliment. You’re cute, too. And do you think it’ll be too soon if I kissed your cheek?” you ask and Peter freezes. Instantly, you regret your question and you don’t know what to do with yourself. “Sorry, I went too far, I shouldn’t have.”

“I just didn’t expect this but I wouldn’t mind.”

A bit embarrassed, you get closer to Peter and put your hand on his cheek before kissing his right one. Feeling your touch on his skin, Peter can’t breathe for a second. He didn’t think your touch would be this electric on his skin. The kiss was short yet it’s already engraved in his memory. He knows he’s going to think about it every second of the day. When you back up, you wish him a good night before entering your house. Peter stands there until your door is closed, then he leaves your porch, a big smile on his lips. 

You both lovingly think back to the evening you’ve just had. You know it’s only the beginning, though you already know one just like the other will know how to bring your heart back to life. You already want to see each other again and maybe it’ll take some time to allow yourself to fully fall in love again, but you don’t mind. For once, you know it’s going to end well.

Marvel Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

What If - Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : After having an accident, Jake wants to live in the moment even more and take your relationship a step forward, but do you ?

Warnings : Bradshaw!Reader (Reader is Bradley's younger sister by two years), mention of plane accident, mention of deaths (parents and best friend), fear of losing loved ones, proposal, angst, sad ending, implied struggling with mental health, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

You run in the hospital hallways, searching for room 322. Your anxiety increases with every step you take. Your destination seems unreachable. Your eyes are filled with tears but you hold them back. However, the second you walk through the door 322, they run free on your cheeks. Seeing Jake’s body laying down on the bed, hurt, doesn’t help to reduce your stress. Hearing you walking in the room, Jake gives you a big smile as if he didn’t almost die the day before. You get closer to him, examining him a bit more while wiping your cheeks. His left arm is in a sling, his head is bandaged and he has several cuts on his face.

“So, I heard you like bad boys,” Jake starts with a cocky smile, “is this good enough for you?”

“Jake, this is not the time to make jokes. You could have died!” you retort, sitting on the chair next to his bed.

“And I didn’t. I’m here and alive.”

“And hurt.”

“The fact is I’m alive. Thanks to your brother.” he specifies, showing Bradley with his chin.

“At least, we now know who is the best pilot.” your brother jokes.

“In your dreams, Rooster, I just wanted to test your ability to react quickly.”

“You’ll do your pissing contest later, tell me how you’re feeling.” you ask, still panicked.

“I’m fine. I almost don’t feel anything thanks to the meds. Y/N, I am fine, really.” Jake promises you, taking your hand with his right one.

“I’m gonna leave you alone.” Bradley informs you by pressing your shoulder. “Get some rest, Hangman.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Jake says once you’re alone.

“Trust me, it’s not just worrying. I really thought… For a moment, I was sure…” you stutter, a tear rolling down your cheek again.

“I know, I’m sorry. Come here.” he invites you, moving in the best way so you can lie down.

“No, I might hurt you.”

“I don’t care.”

Reluctantly, you get closer to the bed. You think of the best way you could get in bed without hurting him. Jake rolls his eyes before dragging you towards him with his abled arm. You find yourself next to him and you put your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his natural scent and the hospital.

“Don’t ever do that again. I can’t lose you.” you mutter.

“You won’t lose me. I promise.” Jake affirms, forcing you to look at him. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Jake.”

You give a small smile then you press your lips against Jake’s. Your kiss isn’t as passionate as it could be, yet it shares all the love you feel.

Once the night comes, you refuse to leave Jake. You literally beg the nurses to let you stay the night. At first, they insist on you leaving, nonetheless when you explain how scared you were to lose your boyfriend and how you can only stay in San Francisco for two days due to your job, they accept. Therefore, you’re currently on the chair in the corner of the room with a thin blanket. Jake wanted you to stay with him on the bed but you said you wouldn’t, you are afraid you might hurt him while sleeping. Your unimportant argument lasted thirty minutes but you stood your ground until the end.

Tired because of his medicines, Jake fell asleep in a few minutes. As for you, you stay awake, watching his chest rise and fall at the rhythm of his breaths. You don’t dare to look away, fearing that by doing so, he might stop respiring. 

Notwithstanding, with the hours passing by and with all the emotion you felt, Morpheus comes to embrace you in his arms. At first, your sleep is relaxing though as soon as you start dreaming, your breathing quickens. You see Jake lying on the ground unconscious, you hear your own heart-rending scream when Bradley tells you about an accident, you smell the rain while the coffin sinks in the ground, you touch the tears on your fingers whilst you’re wiping your cheeks and finally, you feel your own heart that seems like it stopped beating in your chest. 

You wake up jumping at that last sensation. You calm down your breathing while you stare at Jake, wanting to make sure he’s still alive in his hospital bed. You can’t see his chest moving, you panic then you stand up from the chair and run to him. Jake lightly opens the mouth before closing it several times and then changing position in the bed. Seeing him moving makes you sigh in relief. 

Jake is okay. Jake is alive. Jake is not dead. Jake will not die.

No matter how many times you repeat those sentences like a mantra, your anxiety still doesn’t leave your body. Tears threaten to really stream down your face so you discreetly leave the room. Thankfully, the corridor is empty, allowing you to cry your eyes out. You hold back sobs as much as you can. If you sobbed, you would wake Jake up for sure.

You need a moment to calm down your tears. Seeing Jake hurt because of his work in the Navy overwhelmed you so much for several reasons. The first one being because you love Jake and you don’t want to lose him. The second one is because of the buried memories. Your dad died when you were still a baby and Bradley was only two. You don’t have memories of him but you know how much his death affected your mom. The loss of your father isn’t the only one haunting you. You also lost your best friend Lucy. You had been friends with her since you were four years old. You were inseparable until she enlisted in the army and died at twenty. 

Receiving Bradley’s call about Jake gave you a glimpse of what your mother and Lucy’s mom went through, a trial you always hoped you’d never face.

Once you're sure you won’t fall apart, you go back in the room. By some miracle, Jake didn’t hear you leaving or entering, probably because of the medicine - normally, he’s a light sleeper. You walk back to the chair and stay awake the whole night, you don’t want to sit through another tragic scenario made by your brain.

The next day, you stay with Jake until the evening. You don’t want to leave him behind in the hospital, however, you have work so you don’t have a choice. Bradley promises you he’ll stay with Jake until his family comes during the week-end and he’ll keep you updated on Jake’s health. You only trust Bradley for this, you know Jake might not tell you everything to not worry you.

When you’re back home, you find your apartment dull. What is supposed to make you feel better can’t comfort you whilst in your mind, you get more lost in your deepest fears. The fact you’re in the process of moving out doesn’t help. 

Jake and you are supposed to get a small house together. You should have the keys in two weeks, his deployment was supposed to be over by then. A few days ago, you were still looking forward to leaving your apartment and living with the man you love and now, you don’t know anymore.

Your relationship has always been exceptional, not only because he’s a good man but also considering that, before him, you wouldn’t allow yourself to date an army man. You always knew your mother as a half empty shell so you always wanted to protect yourself from the same deadly fate and the loss of Lucy didn’t help either. You’re already worried about losing your brother and Maverick, whom you consider as your uncle, you don’t want to risk losing your partner, too. Therefore, you had always refused to fall in love with a man like this. Before, you could do it until Jake appeared in your life; just like his personality, his entrance in your life was loud. You tried to resist it but your heart didn’t give you a choice so, for the first time, you broke your own rule. Your relationship with Jake is the most beautiful one you’ve ever had and you have no regrets about it. You used to have no regrets about it. His accident was a good reminder of how dangerous his job is. 

Until you came home, you tried to shut down your fears and your doubts though, now, in your half-empty apartment, you can’t ignore it anymore. That night, you can’t sleep, your mind too busy to torture you.

Unfortunately for you, your mind doesn't give you one second of peace. The following days, you doubt your whole relationship with Jake, imagining the worst case scenarios in which he’d die during several milestones : your first house together, your wedding, pregnancies, anniversaries. The list never seems to end. You can’t be optimistic about it. You’re completely lost in your worries to the point where you end up living like a robot. You’re making yourself sick while anticipating the worst.

Your downward spiral is interrupted a week later by a knock on your door one morning. At first, you ignore the noise, comfortably staying in your discontent. However, when the person insists, you leave your bed and open them, not without sighing, annoyed. You’re about to tell the person to leave but the presence of Jake stops you. He wasn’t supposed to come back to San Diego right now and yet, here he is, in front of you, a big smile on his face and his left arm still in the sling and his wounds on his face starting to fade.

“Jake? What are you doing here? You still need to rest!”

“I know, I wanted to see you though and I couldn’t wait so I took the night train at the last minute. Can I come in?” Jake asks and  you let him in, still surprised.

“Why didn’t you call me? I could have come during the weekend.”

“I wanted to surprise you. You’re okay ? You look under the weather.” he observes, stroking your cheek.

“I should ask you this, you’re the one who almost died not even a week ago.” you answer, taking his hand in yours.

“I’m better, Y/N. Even Bradley told you so. The recovery is gonna be long but I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I love when you go all mother hen. It’s cute.” he says, kissing your cheek and you let go of a laugh.

“You’re an idiot. Let’s go to the living room.” you invite him, starting to walk. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No. I just want to talk to you.” Jake informs you.

“About what?”

You frown when he prevents you from sitting on your couch. He slowly strokes your hand before taking a deep breath.

“Look, you know I always try to enjoy the present and with this accident, it really made me realise how precious what we currently have is. I don’t want to waste any seconds, I want to enjoy every moment with you. There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a moment now but I would keep telling myself it might be too early so I always pushed it back then I talked about it with my mom and she convinced me to jump in with both feet.”

“Jake, what do you mean?” you question, stress twisting your stomach.

“Y/N,” Jake resumes, looking deeply in your eyes, “since the second I saw you, I knew you were the woman made for me. I knew you were worth the fight, even if, at first, you wouldn’t pay attention to me. You’re the most intelligent, funny, compassionate and beautiful woman I know. We will have our own house soon and I can’t wait to reach this milestone with you but I’d love for us to reach another one.” he confesses, putting one knee down and your eyes are wide open.

“Jake.”

“Y/N, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Wh-what ?” you stutter and Jake nervously laughs.

“Will you marry me?”

“Are you serious?” you question, dropping his hand.

“Huh, yes, I even have the ring.” he specifies, taking out the ring from his pocket, “Though I gotta admit, I think of saying it’s just a joke right now, you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m just surprised. I don’t know what to say.” you defend yourself.

Your eyes are set on Jake’s ring. You’ve seen it before. He’d shown it to you the day you first met his parents a year ago. It’s his great-grand-mother’s ring. It’s simple but you find it beautiful.

“It’s easy, say yes or no.” Jake replies with an anxious smile.

“Jake, we’ve only been together for two years.” you argue and Jake stands up.

“We don’t have to get married next year. We can be engaged for several years. We can wait before calling each other husband and wife, but I have to admit I’d love to, at least, call you my fiancée.”

“Jake, I can’t.” you end up saying.

“What, do you have a first husband in your attic or something?” Jake laughs and you see the panic in his eyes.

“No, I can’t marry you.”

Your sentence sounds like a fatal blow in Jake’s ears. He stays silent, staring at you without understanding what’s going on. He gets a grip on himself when his phone rings in his pocket. Jake knows it’s his mom. She knew he was going to propose today and she is impatient to call you her daughter-in-law. However, it looks like it won’t be the case. Jake opens his mouth several times before managing to utter something:

“What? Why?”

“I… I can’t.”

“But I love you, we love each other. You love me, right?” he asks, doubtful.

“Of course I love you, Jake, more than I ever loved before.” you promise him, making him frown.

“What’s the problem then?”

“I don’t want to marry you.”

If your first refusal already seemed awful to him, the sentence you just said is the final blow. The fact that you don’t want to marry him breaks his heart. He’s lost. It was supposed to be a joyful moment and yet, the ground is falling apart under him.

“What? Did something happen? Did I do something? I… I thought everything was fine between us.”

“It is.”

“Y/N, you have to stop being vague, I don’t understand anything.” he retorts with a strong tone. “What’s going on?”

“You should leave.”

“No, We have to talk about it. You can’t tell me you love me then tell me you don’t want to marry me. Talk to me, Y/N, you have to talk to me. Give me a reason, at least.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” you answer, avoiding his eyes.

“If you explained to me, maybe I’d understand. Are… Are you breaking up with me? Is that why you haven’t been calling me lately?” he questions, desperately searching for an explanation for your behaviour.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot and I think it’s best if we stop right now. I’m sorry, Jake, but I can’t keep being with you. You’ll find someone with whom you’ll share your life with and who will want to marry you.”

“I want it to be you.” he says with a weak tone, tearing up.

“Jake, please.”

“Very well then.” Jake accepts, hurt in his eyes.

Jake turns around and at the rhythm of his steps, your heart breaks whilst you’re looking at him walking to the door. You begged him to leave and yet, you only want to scream at him to come back to you and to hold you in his arms while you apologise. Yet, you stay silent. Jake doesn’t look back when he closes the door.

Once you’re alone, you fall down on your couch. In your head, you convince yourself it’s the best decision. After all, you should feel relieved, now, you don’t have to worry about losing Jake because of his job anymore. Nevertheless, your mind is not calm. You don’t know which way to turn but for different reasons. You wish it was different, it was easier, he had another job, you weren’t afraid. You spend the night crying while removing every trace of Jake in your apartment and unpack some boxes. You have to move on right now before you lose yourself a bit more.

You haven’t talked to Jake for three weeks. He tried to contact you but you ignored every one of his calls. He first wanted to fix your relationship before understanding it was too late, though he wants explanations, explanations you keep for yourself. You don’t want to tell him, you know it’s ridiculous. Why end a relationship given a potential “what if” when everything is fine? However, you also know if you had moved ahead with Jake, you would have ended up sabotaging your relationship. Technically, it’s what you did though at least, you didn’t have to call lawyers to leave his life.

Bradley tried to call you, too, and just like for Jake, you ignored him. Jake probably told him about your break up and Bradley, always being the honourable man, wants to fix the situation. Except the situation can’t be fixed. You don’t want to fix the situation.

When you come back from work that day, you’re surprised to discover your brother at your doorstep. Without thinking, you run in his arms. Sure, you’ve been ignoring him lately but you missed him. The last time you saw each other, you were too focused on Jake to pay attention to him. He holds you in his arms and strokes your back. As soon as you break your embrace, you let Bradley in. You go to your kitchen while talking about banality. Whilst walking, Bradley pays attention to your apartment and notices there isn’t a picture of Jake anymore. Once you’re sitting at the table, you stay silent, waiting for who will be the first to talk about the subject.

“We should talk about the elephant in the room, don’t you think?” Bradley says after a few minutes.

“There’s nothing to say.” you retort, tensed.

“Y/N, you threw away a two years relationship for no reason.”

“I have my reasons.”

“Which are? Jake is probably curious to know them.”

“If you came here to make things better, you’re wasting your time, Brad’.”

“You can’t act like that and expect to not justify yourself. You were happy with Jake, you love him and you broke up without giving a warning. I have to admit when he told me you refused his proposal, I was shocked. I thought you were gonna say yes without hesitating.”

“You knew?”

“He asked me before coming here. I confess, I laugh at him, I didn’t expect him to ask for your hand or give me a heads-up, like he said.” Bradley informs with a smile, thinking back to the memory. “Everything was good between you two, wasn’t it? So why?”

“It’s better like this. He’ll have a wife who knows how to stay and I won’t suffer.”

“Wait, is all of this because of the parents and Lucy?” he questions, understanding the reason. “You’re still with this stupid no-dating-army-guy rule? I thought we were over with it! Y/N, you can’t ruin your life just because you’re scared.”

“I don’t want to end up like mom! You can’t blame me! We were kids but you can’t deny there was a before and an after with mom. She wasn’t laughing like she used to, she wasn’t smiling like she used to. She was the shadow of her former self. I don’t want to go through this if Jake were to die.” you confess.

“It’s because of his accident, isn’t it?”

“It reminded me he could die at any given moment with his work.”

“Just like he could die off-duty. He can have an accident, have a heart attack, choke while eating. You don’t know what will happen in the future. You can’t condemn yourself ‘cause you’re too afraid he might die while flying. It’s ridiculous.” Bradley affirms, resolutely.

“I’m already afraid of losing you and Mav’ and I already lost Lucy and we lost dad, I don’t want Jake to join this list. Can’t you really blame me? I’d rather protect myself by not being afraid everytime my boyfriend goes to work.”

“Let’s imagine the worst were to happen, don’t you think it’d be better to think you spent every second with him? You’d rather live with regrets? You’d rather break your own heart?”

“At least, I know why I’m hurting.”

“Y/N, you have to think about it again.” he sighs. “You have to get out of your head that the worst will happen. You can’t prevent yourself from being happy because of what could happen. You deserve a beautiful life and to be with Jake. I never saw you this happy before and it kills me to see you throw it away because you’re scaring yourself.”

“The problem is I can’t help it,” you start with trembling lips. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it when we first got together then it got better. However, since his accident, it’s been worse. Since your call, I keep imagining what could have happened and what could happen and I’m tired of it, Bradley. I’ll never get rid of it and I hate it but that’s how it is. Believe me, if I could change, I’d do it right now, but I can’t.”

Bradley hugs you as soon as he sees you crying. He holds you against him until your tears stop a few hours later. His heart aches seeing you hurting this much. He knows you’ve always been more affected by your father’s death. Being the youngest, the emptiness you feel about your dad has always been stronger. It got worse with Lucy’s death. That day, Bradley really saw you get broken. He hated every second of this moment of your life. He hates seeing suffering like you currently are. Several times, Bradley tried to help you, he advised you to go see a professional but you’ve always refused. Until now, he had hoped your fears would ease with time, yet, your relationship with Jake just proved him it got worse and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s completely distraught whilst he keeps holding you against him, hoping to give you some kind of comfort. 

Two months have passed since your break up. You take it day by day to heal your broken heart. Bradley tries to stay with you as much as he can while Jake isn’t surrounded by anyone. He prefers to wear a mask and pretend your negative answer isn’t hurting him. Nevertheless, the second he’s home alone, his mask falls and he allows himself to feel all his pain. Jake, who has always done it, manages to fool everyone with his fake cocky smile. Almost everyone. Coyote sees right through him.

That night is no exception. Sitting at the counter in the Hard Deck, Jake is drinking his third alcoholic drink. Jake has isolated himself from the rest of the Dagger Squad, saying he’s tired and wanted to be alone. Though, Javy doesn’t let him be in the doldrums. He sits on the stool next to Jake and orders a beer from Penny. Coyote gives him some minutes of peace before speaking.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Coyote doesn’t even need to specify for Jake to understand. Your relationship has been a taboo subject for two months.

“Not really.” Jake says, taking a sip.

“You should.” he replies while Penny hands him his beer. “Do you at least know why she made this decision?”

Jake didn’t tell anyone the reason for your fallout. He feels humiliated enough by your harsh refusal to his proposal, he wants to bury the end of your relationship and never talk about it again. Though Javy is right, Jake knows he has to open up.

“Rooster talked to her. Turns out she doesn’t want to marry me because she’s scared I might die on-duty.”

“Did your accident scare her that much?” Javy questions, taken aback.

“It was the final straw but she’s always been scared apparently. I mean, I suspected it, you know, seeing what we do for a living, it makes sense. She also lost her dad and her best friend in similar circumstances. The problem is I didn’t know those deaths affected her that much. Anyway, there is nothing else to say.”

Coyote doesn't say anything for a moment, taking in the information and the way might have felt when he learned them.

“Well, she would have made such a lovely bride. What a shame she’s fucked in the head.” he says, ignoring what else to say.

“She suffered and she doesn’t want to go through this pain again, we can’t blame her. I’m not saying she should stay lost in her fear, it’s not healthy though, I get why she does.” Jake states before taking a deep breath and finishing his drink in one go. “I just wish she would trust our love more than her fears.”

Once he comes home, Jake sits down on his couch, sighing loudly. He runs a hand on his face, emotionally drained. As soon as his hand lands on his thigh, his eyes find a picture hung beside his TV that he didn’t have the strength to remove. It’s a photo he took at the beginning of your relationship, more precisely the day you told each other ‘I love you’ for the first time.

You had spent the day at the beach during summer. The sun was setting down whilst you were laughing at a stupid sentence Jake had said. He had stopped laughing before you, admiring you while you tried to calm your laughter. Then, Jake had looked deeply in your eyes and he had said those three words so simple and yet, so powerful. You had replied the following second with a big smile on your face. Before leaving the beach, Jake had asked to immortalise this moment. Thinking back on it, it was cliché and cheesy but Jake didn’t care. For you, he would have done the most cliché gestures if it could make you break a smile.

Jake keeps staring at the picture, your relationship running in his head. Without noticing it, he tears up before the tears stream down his face. It’s the third time he cries since your break up. The first time, it was the night of the proposal after he went home and the second time, when Bradley explained to him the reason behind your ‘no’.

Jake has never been good with his emotions. Between his education and his work in the army, he’s never learned to put words on his pain and to accept being vulnerable. With you, he had succeeded to understand himself better and to open up. It was still complicated despite two years together but he had improved. Now, he is back to square one. He’s back to his shell, running away from his emotions. Though, it doesn’t mean his mind isn’t haunted by 'what if's. What if he never had this accident? What if he had seen right through your fears sooner? What if he had managed to reassure you? What if he had managed to convince you to get the help you need? What if everything was different?

As for you, the questions are similar. Every night, you torture your own mind before crying yourself to sleep whilst looking at the spot where there once was the picture of your first ‘I love you’ before you ripped it off from your bedroom wall just like you ripped off both of your hearts from your chest.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Waste Of Time | Not Anymore - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [2/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Part one

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You finally manage to forget about Jake but now, it's him who can't get you off his mind.

Warnings : Jake being a dick, angst, alcohol consumption (be careful with your alcohol consumption!), sad ending (for Jake), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 1.8k

Song inspiration : Feather by Sabrina Carpenter

You’re putting eyeshadow on when the music coming from your phone stops and your ringtone can be heard. You look down and discover a name you thought you’d never see again: Jake’s name. Jake interrupting your life isn’t something unusual, unfortunately, you still remember the last time it happened. 

It was about five months ago. You were in a similar situation, you were getting ready when Jake called you and still being so hung-up on him, you picked up the phone in one second. At first, you tried to be strong, not wanting to give in so easily, nevertheless Jake is a smooth-talker, he found the right word to make you fall right into his arms. On the phone, Jake was desperate to have you again, to be the man you deserved. He told you everything you wish he said to you and you trusted him. You should have known it was all talk. Jake and you got back together for two weeks before he left you behind again, though this time he didn’t break up through the phone, no, he ghosted you. At that point, it was the second time he broke your heart, needless to say you’ve learned your lesson since then. You did everything to forget him and to focus on you and your career in the Navy. You can now affirm without making any mistake that you’ve succeeded. 

In fact, whilst your phone keeps ringing, Jake’s taunting you, you decide to decline it. However, you don’t stop here. You unlock your phone and block him before deleting his number. The second you press ‘deleting this number’, you feel a weight off your shoulders. Your story with Jake is officially in the past. You didn’t fold and you deleted the last thing that linked you to him. Proud of yourself, you put down your phone, turn on the music again and keep putting on your makeup.

Once you’re ready, you go to a bar twenty minutes away from your apartment. You find your friends who are also all dressed-up. You order some drinks then you tell each other the latest gossip. For the first time in a long time, you finally manage  to spend a night with your friend without being sad about Jake. You’re laughing, you’re drinking, you’re dancing and you’re having fun like you never had in a long time. You’re so wrapped in your own bubble that you don’t hear the bar door opening. Jake and Javy enter the bar, wearing their kakis. Though you’re on the other side of the bar, he hears your laugh from the entrance. He tenderly looks at you while you keep chuckling with your friends. Jake has to admit he didn’t randomly pick this bar. He knows you often come here and as he didn’t get an answer to his calls, he hoped he’d found you here. He wants to talk to you, make it up to you and tonight might be the night. Jake tells Javy he has to do something and that he’ll join him in a few minutes. Leaning on the counter, Jake orders a beer for him and a glass of bordeaux for you - he knows it’s your favourite wine just like it’s his, it was one of your numerous things in common. While he makes his way to your table, he has his best smirk on his face. With your friends, you drink shots when Jake is in front of you.

“I’m buying you the next round, ladies, my treat.”

Hearing Jake’s voice, your smile fades and your eyes throw him daggers.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to offer you this drink.” he says as he puts it in front of you.

“No, I mean, what do you want from me, Jake? Are you stalking me or something?”

“Wait, that's Jake?” one of your friends asks, looking him up and down.

“You talked about me? Only good things, I hope.” Jake states with a wink.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you talked about his oversized ego.” replies another one of your friends and she gives a look to the other women at the table.

“What can I say? I’m simply the best and I know it. Anyway, I’m not here to talk about my achievements, I’d like to talk to you, Y/N.”

“And I’m excited to never talk, so goodbye.”

“Y/N, please.”

“I’m here with my friends, not to be with an ex that can’t stay away.” you retort whilst Jake tries to look content.

“I just wanna make amends, you deserve it.”

“So you can get me in your bed again before you toss me aside like an old sock? I don’t think so, just take your glass of wine and leave.” you drily say and you hear your friends supporting you.

“Ok, I’m gonna leave you alone, but you can keep the glass, I know it’s your favourite.” he offers with a proud smile.

“Actually, it’s not. It’s your favourite wine, I was only pretending to like it for you. Go away.” you finish as you give him back the beverage.

Following your sentence, Jake leaves with the wine, his beer and his smirk so he can hide his bruised ego. He didn’t expect you to be this harsh with him. He’s not stupid, he knew you wouldn’t fall for him as easily as you did the first two times, on the other hand he had never heard you use such a dry tone before. Jake puts down the glass of wine on the counter before finding Javy who can’t help but laugh at him as he saw the scene from afar. 

The rest of the evening can be summarised to Jake who watches you having fun without having a care in the world for him. Jake tries to find a way he could get you to listen to him. The last times he came back, he wasn’t sure about your relationship but now he is and he wants to be a good guy for you, he wants to be the man you want him to be. He knows you won’t trust him that easily, yet he hopes he’ll find the right words. Javy advised him to let it go, seeing you’ve clearly moved on, however Jake is stubborn. 

At one point during the night, you go to the bathroom and while you’re washing your hand, the door opens on Jake. You sigh, you don’t pay attention to him, though. 

“I called you tonight, several times.” he starts more humbly than earlier.

“I know.”

“Really? As you didn’t answer, I thought-”

“I hit ignore and in case you’d want to try again, don’t do it, I got you blocked.” you cut him off, looking straight in his eyes.

“Okay, I get why you did it, I deserve it, I was a dick to you.”

“That’s the least you can say. I gave you everything and all you did was give me heartbreak.”

“I know and I want to make things right. I wasn’t honest with you when I broke up, I didn’t have good reasons and every time I came back into your life it was just to leave you again. I shouldn’t have done that. I think I was scared of committing to you, but not anymore. This time, I promise, I’ll be better, I’ll be the man you deserve, I’ll know how to commit to you.” he affirms making you scoff.

“Like last time? Or the time before?”

“No, this time, I mean it and I want to  do it. I’m gonna do it. I miss you and you can’t imagine how mad I am at myself. I should’ve realised sooner how lucky I was to be a part of your life and not ruin it. I lost the one real good relationship I ever had because I was too much of a dick.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry for your loss, but it’s too late, Jake,” you reply, completely annoyed. “You’ve had your chances, actually you’ve had too many chances. It’s always the same with you. I’m your dream come true and the second it becomes serious, you run for the hills. Your signals are mixed and I’m sick of it.”

In your voice, anger and pain are mixing up and Jake’s guilt increases.

“This time, it’s different, I promise, I won’t break your heart. I love you and I want you in my life, I wanna be in your life.”

“There was a moment in my life where this kind of speech would have worked and you knew it damn well because you took advantage of it and every time, I fell back in your arms because I was desperately hoping you had changed but it was never the case.” you accuse, pointing your finger at him. “I tried, I stayed hung-up on you longer than I should have. You were haunting every one of my thoughts to the point where I was making up fake scenarios where you’d become a better man and that’s why every time you gave me a small hint you were the man I fantasised about I would go back to you. I was going crazy because you were too much in my mind but not anymore. Before, I would have answered your call in a heartbeat. Before, I would have dumped my friends for you. Before, I would have spent my night wondering what you’d be doing. Now, I don’t and my God, it feels good not caring where you are, not dumping the people I care about, not to desperately wait for a sign of life from you. I feel so much lighter as a feather with you off my mind, you have no idea. I finally cut you off and I feel so much better. So no, Jake, you can’t be in my life again. No matter how honest you might be tonight when you say you want to change, to be a better man and quite frankly, I don’t want to see it. Besides, if you have to be a better person, you should do it for you. If you do it for someone else, it’ll always be temporary. You have to change because you want to do it for yourself, not to get the girl. In any case, I hope what we had will serve you as a lesson, that you’d never take another woman for granted and that you’ll keep in mind she can get tired of your shenanigans and she can leave you like I’m doing. All of this to say, make sure to solve your commitment issues before finding another woman, like this, you won’t do what you do best, leave her hanging. Stop being Hangman and start being Jake.”

Jake stands there as he comes to terms with what you just told him, understanding he’s ruined every chance he had with you. As for you, you don’t wait another second, you leave the bathroom and slam the door behind you as you leave Jake behind.

Part one

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist [EN]

❤️Romantic/💜Friendship/💙Siblings/💚Parents

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

❤️He'll Be Here [1/2]

It's your birthday party and you're waiting for Bradley, hoping his fight with Pete, your father, won't damage your relationship as well.

❤️He'll Be Here | In My Life Again [2/2]

Ten years later, Bradley wants to apologize for the way it ended between you and him.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin

❤️What If

After having an accident, Jake wants to live in the moment even more and take your relationship a step forward, but do you ?

❤️Waste Of Time [1/2]

You can't stop reminiscing your relationship with Jake despite your break up.

❤️Waste Of Time | Not Anymore [2/2]

You finally manage to forget about Jake but now, it's him who can't get you off his mind.

❤️Love Advice

Jake comes back after six months of deployment and he needs your help to win the woman he loves.

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw and Jake "Hangman" Seresin

❤️Confession Of Love - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [1/2]

You've been seeing Jake for four months but you're still not officially dating. It's going to happen soon, though, right ?

❤️Confession Of Love | Real And True - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw [2/2]

After your relationship with Jake, you think you've finally found someone who can treat you right.

Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

❤️New Future

After Natasha's last deployment, you hope your relationship won't go down again.

❤️Anything Serious

Three times you flirt with Natasha and one time, you confess your feelings.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist [FR]

Main Masterlist

FR Masterlist

Album One Shot Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Waste Of Time - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [1/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You can't stop reminiscing your relationship with Jake despite your break up.

Warnings : angst, sad ending, Jake being a dick, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 1.9k

Song inspiration : Things I Wish You Said by Sabrina Carpenter

Sitting on your bed, you’re holding your phone in front of you with Jake’s contact picture on the screen. You’re so excited to talk to him again that you have a big smile on your face. You’re currently on deployment so you haven’t been able to communicate properly with your boyfriend for the past few days. 

After a few seconds, Jake’s face appears and you see he’s sitting on his couch.

“Hey, I’m sorry for not calling earlier, it’s crazy out here.” you apologise.

“Don’t worry, I totally get how complicated it can be to call.”

“Anyway, what’s up?”

“Not much, it’s pretty calm.” Jake says before avoiding your gaze. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I… Look,” he nervously starts and you stand up, fearing what’s about to come next, “I don’t know how to tell you this so I’m just gonna rip the bandage off; we should break up.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“It’s not you, I swear, it’s me.”

“What kind of bullshit is this?” you say, angry and confused. “Everything is fine between us. I don’t understand why you want to break up. Did I do something?”

“No, like I said, it’s not you. I just want to focus on my career and-”

“And what? I’m some kind of distraction? You can’t be in a relationship and work like a big boy?” you retort, annoyed.

“You’re mad and I understand it but it’s for the better.” Jake calmly replies which makes you even angrier.

“Clearly.”

“Y/N, you’re a good person, I don’t want you to doubt it for one second.”

Jake’s sentence should bring you some kind of comfort and yet, it just makes you turn on him even more. You don’t even look at your phone anymore, a million emotions going through your head. You don’t know if you’re more devastated or mad. Understanding it’s of no use to insist, Jake sighs before talking one last time:

“I’m gonna leave you alone now.”

You glance at your phone again, waiting for Jake to say something else and yet, nothing comes. Jake doesn’t even add a “I’m sorry” before hanging up, leaving you in your bedroom alone and in a heavy silence. You keep your eyes on your phone, still in shock by what just happened. You can’t grasp it. 

You met Jake four months ago and everything happened so quickly, but you both didn’t mind it. Some people tried to warn you by telling you about his reputation with women, nevertheless you ignored them. You and Jake clicked instantly and that’s what mattered. And also, you’re not going to lie, he knew how to get you hooked in one conversation. You felt like it was the same for him, that Jake was as attached to you as you were to him, now, you have some doubts. What bothers you the most is that your relationship was becoming more serious - until now. You were seeing each other whenever you could, you even talked about owning a house together. You had begun to imagine a future together and with just one phone call, Jake threw it all away.

That night, you don’t shed a tear. You tell yourself you made this phone call up. Though, the next morning, once you wake up without Jake’s usual morning text wishing you a good day, you realise it was, indeed, real and you break down the second you come home from work. Never had your heart known such heartbreak, it didn't see it coming.

Five months passed since this sinister call. Every night, your last conversation is stuck in your head, you think back to your relationship with Jake, searching for what you could have done wrong and the more you think about it, the more you realise you always put more energy in this relationship than Jake did. Now, you consider yourself stupid for hoping for something beautiful when you had been warned that Jake couldn’t commit to someone. You thought you were different. You are not. You find yourself even more pathetic because Jake is always in your head. Even when he’s not with you anymore, he still manages to make you waste your time. 

Tonight is another proof of it. You ran into Jake at a Navy event. Unfortunately for you, you saw Jake there and now, here you are, laying on your bed, thinking back to him and this event and more specifically the moment you saw him in the parking lot when you left the party, a moment that won’t leave your mind for the next several days.

You went to this event without much conviction. You were accompanied by your new friend Scott whom you had met during your last mission.

At first, you didn’t want to be here, then you saw Jake and the second you recognised his laugh from the other end of the room, you wanted to run far away from the get-together. Scott, always a good friend, stayed by your side and distracted you. He even managed to make you laugh, although internally, your heart was breaking all over again. You didn’t talk to Jake all night. In fact, you didn’t even get close to him, you avoided him like the plague. You did until it was socially acceptable to leave the party. The second the evening began to wind down, you wanted to bolt far away from this place. While you were walking to your car, you found yourself face to face with Jake. At first, you both stood there, looking into each other’s eyes without talking and then, as you weren’t ready to confront him, you started to walk away to your vehicle when Jake held you back.

“Can we talk, please?”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Jake.” you had told, on your guard. 

“Yeah, I imagine talking to me is the last thing you want to do but I need to tell you something.”

“You said more than enough last time.” you had declared, turning on your heel to go in the opposite direction to him.

“Actually, I didn’t say enough. You deserve an apology.”

At his sentence, you turned to him, surprised. Getting an apology from Jake was the last thing you expected. You stood in front of him, your arms crossed over your chest as a way to show him you wouldn’t let him get under your skin so easily - when in reality, this felt like doing something impossible.

“I’m sorry I left you in the dark when I broke things off. I’m sorry I pulled the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. It wasn’t fair to you. And I’m…” Jake had sighed, “you deserve a real apology, better than this one, though I had to, at least, tell you this. Maybe I’m going too far but I’d be happy to make it up to you correctly by meeting each other someday soon.”

“Jake, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” you had refused, looking down for a second. “But thanks for what you just told me, it’s always nice to hear it.”

Following your sentence, you thought the conversation was over so you took out your car keys from your purse when Jake’s voice resonated in the parking lot once more:

“Is it because of the guy you were with tonight that you turned me down? Have you guys been together for a long time?”

“Scott? He’s just a friend.”

“The way he made you laugh…,” Jake had scoffed, “it didn’t feel like you were just being friends.”

“And yet, there is nothing between us.” you had replied, defensive. “And anyway, why does it bother you so much? We’re not together anymore, do I have to remind you this was your decision?”

“And it was a dumb decision. I miss you so damn much!” He had exclaimed with a guilty look on his face. “God, you have no idea. Everything reminds me of you. The second one of your favourite artists is on the radio, I can still picture you singing the lyrics with a huge smile on your face. What I wouldn’t do to see that smile again!” he had added more softly. “Even now, I always reach for your leg over there on your side of the car then I realise you’re not here anymore because I fucked up. I’m watching everything that you do, every achievement you make, I make sure to know them. I’ve always known you were a damn good pilot but you keep impressing me. I should’ve realised the chance I had when I was with you before ruining it. I can’t move on, I can’t even stomach loving somebody else beside you.” Jake had confessed, taking a step towards you.

As soon as you saw him getting closer, you couldn’t help but look at his lips, oh, how you’ve missed those lips so much! Looking at him more carefully, you also noticed he wanted to touch you, too. Several times, his hands had almost reached over for yours, nonetheless he held himself back, not wanting to ruin anything with you by acting impulsively. Listening to Jake’s confession almost made you fall for him again and forget about the pain he caused you. Though, you stayed silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth, you wouldn’t know how to resist him. With a desperate voice, Jake tried to go all in by stating one last time:

“I swear if you gave me one last chance, I would do better for you. I will be the man you deserve, I won’t break your heart. I learned from my mistakes, I promise.”

“Jake, you hurt me.” you had said with a weak voice.

“I get it but if you ever were to change your mind, I’d always be free. Again, I’m sorry.”

With this last apology, Jake left you alone and you got in your car with teary eyes. You hold them back until you left the parking lot.

Unfortunately, this is not what happened. 

You did run into Jake in the parking lot but he stayed silent. At one point, you thought he was about to say something nevertheless he just walked away, a guilty look on his face.

And here you are now, in your bed, fantasising about things you wish he said to you. Despite the break up five months ago, you’re still desperate for his love. Despite the pain he caused you, you yearn for his apologies, but especially you wish he’d still want you and even if in the scenario you made up, you refused to see Jake again, you know that once you would have gone home, you would have called him and said yes. You still love him and you wish you didn’t. He’s still playing with your feelings when he’s not even talking to you anymore. Your heart conspires against you by torturing you and making you long for a Jake who would know how to fix his mistakes and be the man you deserve. Yet, it’s of no use. Jake will never change and if he came back, it’d be just to play with your feelings before leaving you hanging again. You waste your time on idiotic things. It’s a waste of time to hope for him to change, it’s a waste of time to think of things he never said and things he’ll never say to you. Jake is a waste of time and you’re mad at yourself for dedicating so much time of your life for a man who stopped thinking about you a long time ago. You just hope one day you’ll be able to feel lighter, away from Jake and your feelings for him.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part two

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

A Part Of The Family - Dean Winchester

Masterlist

Summary : You go on your first hunt with your father John and your half-brother Dean, hoping you'll finally be able to prove you're a true Winchester to your father.

Warnings : half-sister!reader, Y/N is 15, John is a shitty father, angst, feeling like you don't belong in the family, killing vampires, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language so tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.1k

French version

Prompt : PL n°1, n°10 "We could have prevented this"

“What are the rules ?” John asks you with a harsh voice.

“Always be on alert and ready to attack, kill first and ask questions later.” you answer, determined.

“Good, don’t forget you have to cut their head or they’ll still be able to attack. As it’s your first time on the field, you stay close to me or Dean, right ?”

“Yes, sir.”

John hands you a machete before closing the trunk of the Impala. You feel a knot in your stomach as you realise you’re only a few minutes away from the most dangerous moment of your life. Your hands start shaking, you tighten your grip on your weapon, hoping it’ll give you more courage. Rapidly, you look up and see Dean’s eyes on you. He puts a hand on your shoulder to reassure you. You give him a quick smile but the fear can still be read on your face. When you’re finally ready, you start entering the vampire nest.

You’ve been on their trails for a few days now and thanks to your personal researches, you found where they’re hiding. Now, you hope you’ll be able to kill these monsters without making a mistake, you want to show John he did a good thing by taking you out of the foster system after Sam left for University. Indeed, when the younger Winchester decided to leave the family business, John didn’t like being one hunter short so he came to get you, knowing he’ll have your custody easily because your mom died at your birth. Until he’d come to your foster family, you didn’t know your father’s identity, let alone that you had two big brothers. When you met them, an immense amount of joy had filed you, you thought you’d finally belong to a real family. John had said to your foster parents he came to have your custody because he just discovered your existence. He made a beautiful speech to them on the importance of having his daughter in his life. When he had pronounced those words, your heart had burst with love, but reality caught you up quickly when he immediately put an emotional distance between you before starting your hunter training. You knew it wouldn’t be easy but you want to prove to him he can count on you during hunts so you make sure to always give your best. However, John is demanding, you feel like you’ll never meet his expectations and because of the pressure you can make some mistakes. Fortunately, Dean knows to be patient with you, he protects you from John's reprimands.

When you’re in the old building, you’re faced with a heavy silence. It doesn’t feel like there’s any threat on the horizon while you’re getting deeper into the nest. You keep walking discreetly and glancing in every corner until you find some kind of cage with a prisoner inside. With a glance, you recognise Jake, a teenager your age who’s been helping you to find the vampires. He had started searching for them before you arrived ; his sister was one of their victims. Together, you had put your skill to good use, you with your supernatural knowledge and him with his knowledge of the city and its residents. When you see him, you lower your machete and run toward the cage.

“Jake ! My God, you’re okay ? Did they do anything to you ?” you question, examining his body quickly with your eyes.

“You know him, Y/N ?” John interrogates.

“He helped me to find the nest.” you inform before turning back to your friend. “You’re okay, Jake ?”

“I’m fine.”

“We’re getting you out of here, don’t worry.” Dean states while starting to force the lock.

“Kid, do you know where the vampires are ?” John questions with a dry tone.

“No, I just regained consciousness, actually. Thanks.” Jake says when Dean finally frees him.

Jake gets out of his small prison stumbling. You catch him when he’s losing his balance. You’re about to ask him if everything is fine when you see pointy teeth coming out of his gum. Surprised, you don’t have the reflex to lift your machete up. Dean and John are about to intervene when other vampires leave their hiding place. You finally push back Jake, scared but he comes back to you again. You try to fight him with your weapon but Jake breaks your arm, forcing you to drop it. Dean hears your cry of pain and turns his head to you. He sees Jake about to bite you in the neck when Dean runs to you and cuts Jake’s head without a second thought. You’re too stunned from what’s just happened to move.

“Everything okay ?” Dean questions, preoccupied.

“Yes, don’t worry.”

John growls angrily, making yours and Dean’s head turn to him. Dean leaves you to help John. You pick your machete up from the ground and try to at least hurt some vampires. Not able to use your dominant hand, you have even less strength to cut heads. By some miracles, probably due to adrenaline, you cut the head of one blood-drinker. In spite of yourself, you stare at the body and their head, not believing you’re the cause of it. Snapping out of it, you look up and see that most of the vampires are dead. John is handling the Alpha vampire while Dean seems to lose his fight with another monster as he’s struggling to get their fangs away from his neck. You run to him and cut the vampire’s head with all the strength you have. When Dean understands he’s not in danger anymore, he sets his gaze on you, proud to see you were able to save him. You can’t help but smile lightly as you realise that, for a first hunt, you did pretty well. With your valid hand, you help him to stand up while John finally kills the Alpha vampire. You look at John, hoping to see he’s happy or at least relieved to know you and Dean are alive and almost not hurt, beside your broken arm, but it’s an angry John who comes your way.

“What the hell was that ? We got ourselves in an ambush because of your stupidity ! How could you not understand Jake was a vampire when he was helping you ? Don’t tell me you didn’t even think about checking him before telling him everything !”

“He… I…” you stutter, making John even more mad.

“Answer !”

“He told me he was looking for the vampires, too but he didn’t know how to attack them.” you explain, feeling ashamed.

“And you didn’t think it was weird he knew that much ?”

“He said he’d been researching for two months so it seemed normal to me.” you defend yourself and John sighs to contain his anger.

“Damn it, Y/N, that’s unbelievable ! We could have prevented this if you had some common sense !”

“Dad, she’s still learning. It’s okay.” Dean intervenes with a calm voice.

“Not when she puts us in danger ! We could have died and she has a broken arm. She should have done better !”

While listening to John’s reproach, you lower down your head. On second thought, the hunt went worse than you thought. You put your loved ones in danger and you disappointed John. it’s going to be even harder for you to find your place in your little family and you hate yourself for that. John is right, you should have done better.

“We’re all alive and they are all dead. It’s a win.” your brother insists.

“I don’t care if we did well ! She should have thought like a hunter.”, John retorts before taking you by your shoulder with strength, forcing you to look at him with a wince, “You better not do that again, next time, use your head.”

“Yes, sir.”

John sighs, letting go of your shoulder. Dean has a quick peek at you to make sure you’re okay, you give him a quick nod to reassure him, but your glistening eyes don’t convince him.

“Come on,” John starts, “we have to go to the hospital for your arm, we can’t fix it. Another waste of time because of your stupidity.”

“I’m sorry.” you breathe, ready to cry in any second.

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t change anything. And get those tears out of your eyes, half Winchester or not, Winchesters don’t cry.”

“Yes, sir.”

Your shoulders drop when you follow John while Dean looks at you with compassion. He knows what it’s like to fight for John’s approval, it’s very rare to gain it, even for him it’s complicated while he does everything John tells him.

In the Impala, John doesn’t say a word, too angry he doesn’t even take a quick glance at you, as for Dean, he wishes he could reassure you, but he doesn’t want to get John more mad. You hold your arm to minimise the pain on the way while you think back to John’s words. Among every thing he reproached you about, his last sentence hurt you the most. Since he came to get you, you know John treats you differently than Dean, he doesn’t see you as a part of the family. Yet, it doesn’t stop you from feeling your heart burst out in pain every time he reminds you of it when he specifies your only Dean’s half-sister or when he refuses you calling him ‘dad’, that one hurts the most.

When you arrive at the hospital, there aren't a lot of people, surprisingly so you just have to wait an hour and a half to be taken in charge of. When your cast is on your arm, you go back to the motel still in silence. You bite your lips, stressed while you’re searching for something to say to rectify your mistakes but you don’t really know John, you ignore what you should say. When you walk through the door of your motel’s bedroom, John points the small kitchen table to you. Reluctant, you walk toward it without a word and sit. Dean starts following you but John orders him to get cleaned up. Knowing it’s not the time to challenge him, Dean obeys. John stays on his feet in front of you, towering you with his height. Instinctively, you look down on your fingers, fidgeting with them until John starts talking.

“I hope you realise what you did was dangerous.”

“Yes, I won’t do it again, promise.”

“You better ! You could have died and so could have your half-brother. At least, you did kill some vampires but apart from that, you ruined this whole hunt ! If you don’t want to go back to your foster family, you better be more useful next time. I don’t need a deadweight but a hunter.” he rumbles.

“I’ll do better next time.” you assure him, determined.

“We’ll see in a few months because with your bullshit, you got yourself a broken arm. You’ll be in charge of the research and when you’ll be able to train again, we’ll get back to it and this time, I’ll be more strict. You need to learn correctly, I can’t have a kid who doesn’t know what she’s doing.” John spats, emphasising on the word ‘kid’, hurting you once more. “Don’t make me regret my decision to get you. And get that sad look out of your face, I can’t waste my time with weak people either.”, he orders and you try to get a grip on yourself, “I’m going to the bar.” he finishes, walking away from you. 

Without a glance, John leaves the room. When you hear the door slam shut, you jump. Tears filling your eyes in an instant. You try to hold them back but the more you blink, the harder it is to prevent them from falling. In spite of yourself, a tear rolls down your cheek. You wipe it away quickly, hoping Dean didn’t see anything because he just got out of the bathroom. You take deep breaths, trying to cool down your emotions. Dean delicately puts a hand on your shoulder and kneels down in front of you. 

“Hey, kid, you’re okay ?”

Contrary to John, the word ‘kid’ in Dean’s mouth seems affectionate. You see in his eyes he’s genuine, but you refuse to show you’re weak for another second. You clear your throat before looking him in the eyes.

“Yeah, just tired of the day. John went to a bar.”

“Just you and me, then ? What do you say about going to the Burger in front of the motel ?” he proposes with a smile.

“I’m not really hungry and I wouldn’t like John to get even more mad because he won’t find us when he’ll get back.”

“He’ll be in that bar for some time, don’t worry, besides, you need to recharge your battery, you did your first hunt !” he states, hoping it’ll cheer you up.

“What a victory it was !” you scoff, rolling your eyes.

“You got through it with only a broken arm and it was a vampire nest, I call that a victory. C’mon.”

Dean helps you to stand up from your chair. He puts back on his jacket and takes his wallet before inviting you to leave the motel.

At the Burger place, you almost don’t eat anything. You swallow only some French fries but don’t touch your hamburger while Dean devours everything in a heartbeat. Dean doesn’t start a conversation, guessing you need some silence after everything John told you. Dean knows he wasn’t kind with you the second time he reprimanded you with the small part he was able to hear through the bathroom walls. Furthermore, Dean and you have been knowing each other only for a few months now, he ignores if in this kind of situation, you’d rather talk or stay on your own. Just to be safe, he prefers to stay close to you without being oppressive so that's what he’s currently doing. When he’s finally done with his meal, he asks for a doggy bag for yours and goes to pay. On the way back, you don’t see the Impala, which reassures you because you know you still have some time off before John’s return. Entering the room, you take your stuff and close yourself in the bathroom. When you’re ready to go to sleep, you lay on your bed, your back facing Dean who’s on his own bed watching TV. You try to sleep but John’s words keep haunting your mind. The more you think back about the hunt, the more you realise how naive you were. Mentally, you’re calling yourself names, telling yourself that because of your mistakes you lost what little esteem John had for you. Feeling your tears again, you try to breathe slowly. You can’t cry, especially with Dean next to you. He can’t see how weak you are or you'll go down in his estimation as well and it’s the last thing you want. Despite your tries to be discreet, you sniff, drawing Dean’s attention to you. At first, he doesn’t think too much about it, but when he hears your heavy breath and your sniffing several times, he gets up from his bed and comes to you. He sits down next to you and puts a comforting hand on your shoulder. Feeling his presence, you don’t dare to move, waiting for him to scold you.

“Wanna talk about it ?” he questions softly.

“There’s nothing to say.” you state.

“Y/N, I know how his words can affect someone.”

“He’s right, I’ve been stupid, I should have been a better hunter.”

“You’re fifteen and you’re still learning.” Dean retorts, “You were naive, it’s true, but a few months ago, you still thought vampires were some kind of legend from Transylvania, not the reality. You can’t be perfect from the start. You were bound to make mistakes on your first hunt, you can’t be mad at yourself for that. Believe me, I made worse mistakes on my first hunts”, he tries to reassure you but you’re still silent, “Y/N, could you look at me ?”

“No, I don’t want you to think I’m weak.” you refuse, ashamed.

“Why would I think that ?”

“Winchesters don’t cry. Even if I’m not a real one.” you say, repeating John's words.

Dean sighs, trying to find something to say. He hates the way John’s words already got into  your head. He wishes he could reassure you like a big brother should but he’s still facing your back, not wanting to confront him. He knows he shouldn't take it personally but knowing you think he could act like John tightens his heart.

“I know I’m not well placed to say this,” he starts, hesitating, “but you can cry. Before being hunters, we’re humans.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you like I disappointed John.” you whisper, sniffing.

“You’re not gonna disappoint me and as for John, he’ll get over it, you can trust me. When you’ll be fully trained, he’ll see how excellent of a hunter you are.” Dean affirms.

“If he didn’t send me back to my foster family by then.” you add.

“I won’t let that happen.”, your big brother states, determined, “Now that I know I have a little sister, I can assure you you’re stuck with me as long as you decide otherwise.”

“Half-sister.” you correct, John’s voice still echoing in your head.

“In other words, my sister. You’re a part of the family.” Dean insists and you feel a new tear rolling down your cheek.

“Why are you so nice to me ? You didn’t even know I existed six months ago, you have  every right to ignore me.” you question with a trembling voice.

“I just told you, we’re family, I care about you.”

Without responding, you turn around before throwing yourself in his arms. All the tears you’ve been holding back for the past few months finally roll down your cheeks. Feeling your shoulders shaking, Dean holds you closer against him. He strokes your back, inviting you to let all your emotion leave your body. His heart breaks a bit more when he realises how much you’ve been holding back to at least satisfy John a bit. He knows the pain all too well so that night, he makes sure you know he’ll always be there to support you. Your head still hiding in the crook of his neck, you stay in his arms, accepting for the first time the comfort of your big brother.

Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[marie-swriting]

I Cannot Afford To Lose You - Bucky Barnes

Marvel Masterlist

Summary : You get shot on a mission, resulting in you almost dying in Bucky's arms.

Warnings : gunshot, gunshot wound, reader almost dies, a tiny bit of angst, fluff, John Walker, Bucky being protective, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3k

French version

A/N : this one shot was based on this request made by @tieddown-withbattleshipchains hope you'll like it ! Personally, I enjoyed writing it, your idea was really inspirational :)

You enter a dark room, your senses on alert, lying in wait for a potential threat with your batons in hands. You look at every side of the place when you see a shadow coming towards you. Just in time, you block the punch of the Flag Smasher with your weapon. Then, follow a fight between you and the masked woman. Despite the Supersoldier serum running in her veins, you can get through it pretty easily. Thanks to your training with Bucky, you can easily adapt to a fight with someone who has super strength. You succeed to hit her but not enough to knock her out. Your hits only made her lose her mask, allowing you to see she’s a woman in her early twenties. You keep fighting when a gunshot can be heard. Lowering your gaze on your stomach, you see blood. The Flag Smasher pushes you before running away while you fall on the ground. You bring your hand to your wound and try to put pressure on it, despite the pain.

“Y/N ? What was that ? You’re okay ?” Bucky’s worried voice asks in your earpiece. “Y/N !” he screams as he doesn’t hear an answer from you.

“I lost the target.” you articulate after a few seconds.

“I’ll handle it.” Sam informs, “Everything is good for you ?”

You don’t have the strength to answer him, too focused to not bleed out. You sweep the area with your eyes, hoping to find the shooter yet you see no one. You keep looking around, searching for something to help you, in vain. Your breath quickens when Buckys appears. A worried expression takes its place on his face when he runs to you. Before reaching you, you can hear him ordering Sam to call paramedics. Bucky kneels next to you, takes your hands away and puts pressure on your wound. Gradually, your eyelids are getting heavier so Bucky shakes you with one hand to keep you awake.

“I forbid you to fall sleep, you hear me ? Stay focused, Sam called for help, they’ll get there soon.”

“I’m tired.” you stutter, looking at him with difficulty.

“I know but you can’t close your eyes, okay ? You’re gonna make it out alive so stay awake.”

“Bucky, I-” you start putting your hand on his.

“No, shh,” he cuts you off softly, “focus on not closing your eyes. You’ll tell me what you want to say later. Hold on, Y/N, you’re gonna make it out alive.” he repeats whilst his hands are getting dirty with your blood.

You try to listen to Buky and do everything to not fall asleep however the more the time passes, the harder it gets. You slowly start to give up when the paramedics come to you. Distantly, you can hear Bucky screaming your name while you sink into darkness.

When you open your eyes, you feel attacked by the lightness of the place. You close them for a second before opening them again slowlier. When you’re finally used to the brightness, you analyse your environment and realise you’re in a hospital room. Your eyes fall on Bucky who is sitting next to you, his hands holding your right one and he’s lost in his thoughts. You lightly move your fingers to catch his attention. Feeling you moving, Bucky’s head instantly turns on his left. When he sees you awake, he sighs in relief before getting closer to you. With his left hand, he strokes your cheeks. 

“Hey, how are you feeling ?” he whispers.

“Like I got shot.” you say, trying to smile.

“At least, we know for sure we haven’t lost her.” Sam intervenes, making Bucky roll his eyes.

“Are you hurting somewhere ? Do you want me to call a nurse ? I should call a nurse to let her know you’re awake.”

“No need. The IV is still working.”

“It’d be safer and maybe they need to check something as you’re awake now.” your boyfriend insists while pressing the button to call the nurse.

“Worse than a mother hen.”

“Shut up, Sam.”

“Don’t make me laugh.” you order as you feel a pain in your belly even though you only laugh a little at their bickering.

“Sorry.” Sam apologises.

Bucky keeps looking at you as if he was afraid that if he looks away you’ll disappear. You look at him lovingly, hoping it’ll reassure him, confirming to him he hasn’t lost you. Meanwhile, Sam feels a little bit left out yet he can’t help but look at the scene tenderly, knowing very well what you mean to Bucky. 

Indeed, since you met the former Winter Soldier, you’ve always made sure he never misses anything. You helped, and still help him sometimes, to get used to the modern world and you’re one of the few shoulders he can cry on without feeling ashamed. Your feelings for each other got stronger gently and your relationship evolved at the same pace. Your bond is strong and indescribable. All that you both know is you can’t live without the other. Bucky in particular cannot lose you, not only because he loves you but also because you’re one of the rare constants in his life since he got his memory back. 

Someone knocks on your door, breaking your bubble by doing so. You get ready to greet a nurse when you find John Walker in his Captain America outfit and his helmet in hands. You frown, not expecting to see him here.

“John, what a pleasure !” Bucky starts, sarcastically, “Are you here to give the Shield back ?”

“Buck !” you reprimand him and he fakes an innocent expression.

“I just wanted to know how you were feeling.” John asks you, avoiding your gaze for a second.

“I’ll get by, considering I almost died.”

“About that, I wanted to apologise.”

“What are you talking about ?” you question, frowning. 

Although if you didn’t see who shot you, you guessed it was a Flag Smasher as your wound allowed your enemy to escape, until Sam caught her, so you don’t understand John's apology.

“I… I was targeting the Flag Smasher,” explain John, playing with his helmet, “but while you were fighting, you moved and I shot you by accident.”

Upon hearing the end of John’s sentence, Bucky sees red and lets go of your hand before trying to get to John. Sam barely holds him, preventing Bucky from breaking his therapist’s rule number two. John moves back to the door in case Sam wouldn’t be able to hold Bucky back anymore. Your boyfriend forces himself to not use all of his strength against Sam, he knows he’d be able to get away from his grip if he really wants to but he also knows it’s not the thing to do. Bucky finally got his pardon, he can’t ruin everything now. However, it doesn’t mean John didn’t almost ruin the most precious relationship to his eyes. As if it’s enough that Bucky can’t for the life of him like the new Captain America, now he has only one urge : hurt him real bad or go back in time and force Sam to keep this damn Shield like this, you wouldn’t be in this hospital bed.

“It was an accident, I promise.” John states, “I really am sorry.”

“They don’t teach you how to shoot in the army anymore or what ?” Bucky spits as Sam tightens his grip on him. “Come on, if you don’t have a clear view, you don’t shoot, that’s common sense ! Because of you, Y/N almost fucking lost her life and we almost didn’t catch the Flag Smasher. You can’t be that stupid !”

“Bucky, he didn’t do it on purpose.” you intervene, hoping it’ll ease the tension.

Even if you hate John as much as Bucky does, you can’t have your boyfriend rearranging his face. You can’t have Bucky being the US government’s number one enemy again.

“I don’t care about that,” Bucky retorts to you, “You almost died in my arms because of his incompetence.” he keeps saying as he points at John with his chin, “What a good Captain America ! Just for that reason alone, you should give the Shield back.”

“It was a mistake. Besides, I just got promoted as Captain America, I still have a lot to learn.” John tries to defend himself, irritating Bucky a bit more.

“Shooting innocents shouldn’t be a part of it ! You’re supposed to have learned this at the beginning of your training in the army. It was more than a mistake. You better leave now before I make you a permanent resident in this hospital.”

“You should go, John.” you confirm, knowing well Bucky’s anger won’t cool off now, “Thanks for telling me the truth.”

“It was the least I could do. Again, sorry, Y/N.”

When John finally leaves the room, Sam slowly lets Bucky go, though he stays at the ready to hold Bucky back just in case. Your boyfriend takes a deep breath before setting his attention on you. He might seem calmer, you can see in his eyes his anger is still there. He sits back down whilst Sam gets settled at the end of your bed.

“All of this could have been avoided if you hadn’t given up the Shield.” Bucky exclaims, making both yours and Sam’s eyes roll. 

“Still with that.”

“How can you not be mad at him when he almost killed you ?” he questions, confused.

“Look, you know my opinion on him as Captain America and today proves us a bit more, it shouldn’t be him, but the fact is, he didn’t hurt me intentionally.”

“Intentionally or not, I could have lost you.”

“And it’s not the case. I’m still here.” you assure him, stroking his cheek.

Bucky is about to add something when the nurse he called earlier enters your accommodation. She checks your vital signs, asks you some questions and informs you your doctor will come check on you later before letting you rest. Thanks to her appearance, Bucky finally gives up the ‘John’ subject, however he’s still fulminating. To lighten up the mood, Sam changes the subject by talking about his house in Louisiana. He speaks about the weather, his family boat and the several activities his hometown has to offer until your doctor cuts him off. She explains to you they saved you just in time and you’ll have a scar on your belly. Finally, she informs you you’ll have to spare yourself for a while, strictly forbidding you to get back on the field until further notice. You can’t help but let go of a frustrated sigh at her last information. The last thing you needed was to be confined in your bed when you’re someone who is active. When she leaves, Bucky tries to make you see the bright side as he knows you’re annoyed by your current situation. However, no matter what he says, it doesn’t seem to make your pout go away. Sam finally proposes to do your recovery at his house in Louisiana, away from the city. You weigh the pros and cons before accepting, not without making Bucky roll his eyes. 

When you’re finally cleared to leave the hospital, you discover the State where Sam lives. The latter gave you and Bucky the guest room. You thanked him countless times for his kindness whilst Bucky only gave him a small smile to show his gratitude.

During your recovery, the two men pamper you. Sam makes you taste the traditional dish from Louisiana as well as his family recipes. You have to admit Sam is a good cook, something you wouldn’t have thought at first. Sam also brought you several things to keep you busy from your bed like board games or some manual activities. You now consider yourself a pro in the making of bracelets with plastic pearls. You’ve made some for Sam, his sister Sarah and her sons AJ and Cass but also for Bucky. AJ and Cass aside, Bucky is the one who has most of them, with cute or ridiculous names going from ‘my lover’ to ‘grumpy’. Some of your bracelets are in perfect contrast with his Vibranium arm.

As for Bucky, he’s always by your side and worries even when you assure him you’re not in pain. He helps you clean your wound, change your bandage and always makes sure you’re in a good sleeping position. Finally, during the night, when you’re asleep, Bucky is glued to you - while being careful about your wound - and delicately rests his head on your chest to hear your regular heartbeats. By hearing them, Bucky can breathe and sleep peacefully whilst saying to himself again and again you’re still alive, you’re still by his side, he hasn’t lost you.

After several weeks laying down, you can walk a longer distance than the one from your room to your bathroom. Sitting on your bed, you’re putting your shoes on when Bucky with his eyes wide open comes to you.

“What do you think you’re doing ? You need to rest.” he reminds you, stopping you from tying completely your left shoelace.

“The doctor told me I needed to walk to help with the healing.” you explain playing with the pearls of his bracelet making the word ‘oldman’.

“What kind of stupid advice is that ? You need to stay in bed.”

“Bucky, if I stay one more second on that damn bed, I’m gonna burn it down.” you inform with a serious face. “Besides, I’m not gonna run a marathon, I’m just gonna walk very slowly around the house. Come with me if it can make you feel any better.”

“What if you hurt yourself while walking ?” he inquires and you stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Then, thank God my amazing and strong boyfriend will be next to me to help me. Bucky, I’m fine.” you comfort him, looking in his eyes. “I’m not in pain and I need to move. I can’t stand there and look good anymore in this house. I know every corner of this bedroom, I need to go out.”

Bucky seems to consider it for a second, mentally weighing his options before sighing and nodding.

“OK, but if you feel even the slightest pain, you better tell me and we go home.” he orders, untying your left shoelace to redo it, “and we’re not walking more than five minutes.” he adds.

“Fifteen.” you negotiate. 

“Ten.”

“Deal.” you accept with a childish look.

Bucky finishes tying your right shoelace before giving you his hand to help you get up from the bed and examine your face for any sign of hurt. To prove him you’re fine, you smile at him before pecking his lips. He takes your right arm and locks it with his to support you while you start leaving your temporary quarter. Upon - finally - leaving the house, you take your time to enjoy the sun’s heat on your face. You walk, sharing with Bucky all of your observations on the landscape in front of you. Since you arrived, you didn’t get the time to admire the outside beauty of Sam’s house so you look at every tree, flower and wave, enjoying the nature Brooklyn doesn’t have.

After a few minutes of walking, you ask Bucky to stop. Immediately, he questions you, worried you might pass out at any given time.

“I’m fine.” you reassure him though his worried expression doesn’t leave his face.

“Sorry I’m always on your back but I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I know.”

“Do you think I’m too much ?” he questions while touching the bracelet with the word ‘sweetheart’.

“No, I think it’s cute the way you’re always worried.” you say, lifting his head with your hand. “You’re a real mother hen but I like it.” you add, making him chuckle a little. 

“Can you hold it against me ? I really thought I’d lost you.” he says, reminiscing the moment where he got to you as you were bleeding out. “When you started closing your eyes, I was sure it was the end. And I cannot lose you.” Bucky affirms with a shaking voice, “I know I don’t tell you often but my therapist says I need to learn to communicate what I’m feeling so here I am saying it : you matter to me and I need you in order to keep moving on. I know it might sound selfish but I cannot afford to lose you and if it were ever to happen… i don't know what I’d become.” he keeps saying with teary eyes, “I need you close to me. I love you so much.”

As you see a tear rolling down his cheeks, you take him in your arms and stroke his back. He hides his face in the crook of your neck and breathes in your smell. A part of Bucky feels bad for being the one getting comforted when you’re the one who got wounded notwithstanding he needs it. Losing you is his worst fear and since John shot you, he became aware his fear could become real in a second. You keep hugging him, proving to him it doesn't bother you to comfort him because you understand him.

“I love you too, Bucky,” you murmur in his ear, “so much.”

You stay in each other’s arms for a few minutes until your anxiety vanishes away. When you break the embrace, one of your hands finds its way to Bucky’s cheek and the second one strokes the bracelet with the pearls ‘forever’ before taking his left hand.

“I can’t promise you I’ll always be safe considering what we do for a living but I can promise you one thing : I will always do in my power everything to stay by your side and I want you to promise me the same because I need you as much as you need me.”

“I promise.”

Like to seal your promise, you delicately kiss each other with the Sun as a witness. Bucky doesn’t put his hand on your waist, worried he’ll hurt you involuntarily, so his hands find their way to your cheeks while yours get lost in his hair.

Marvel Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[marie-swriting]

He'll Be Here | In My Life Again - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw [2/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part one

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : ten years later, Bradley wants to apologize for the way it ended between you and him.

Warnings : set after Top Gun Maverick, Mitchell!reader, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.6k

Song inspiration : The Last Time (Feat. Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol) (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

After spending several hours working on Pete’s P-51 Mustang, this latter and Bradley go to have a drink in Pete’s kitchen. Bradley sits down while Pete opens the fridge and looks for two beers ; Bradley’s eyes find a picture on the wall, he looks at his eighth birthday photo with nostalgia. His cake is in front of him and you by his side. Both of you have a huge smile on your face, ignorant of what the future would hold for you. Bradley’s heart tightens in his chest when Bradley remembers he’ll never have the opportunity of seeing your radiant smile on your face whilst he’s next to you again. 

Pete puts a beer in front of Bradley and snaps him out of his thoughts. He thanks him and takes a sip, his eyes finding their way back to the picture, in spite of him.

“You know,” Bradley starts, catching Pete’s attention, “that day, there was a moment where Y/N wasn’t next to me anymore so I went to look for her. I found her hiding in my closet with tears in her eyes. When I asked her what was the matter, she just told me to not pay attention to her, that I needed to stay with my other friends. I said to her I didn’t care about them, especially because she needed me at that moment. That’s when she confessed she was scared of losing me because I had met friends my age who would replace her. I couldn’t believe she thought that !” he exclaims, his eyes wide open. “In my head, it was obvious she could never be replaced, no matter how close I was to my other friends so I promised her she’d never lose me, that I’ll always be by her side. No matter what. I made her this promise and I’ve been breaking it for ten years now.” Bradley mutters, looking down.

“Have you tried talking to her ?” Pete asks, after a few seconds.

“Yes, several times over the years. The first time was a year after our breakup. I wasn’t far away from her Uni so I went to see her. Long story short, she told me to get lost. The last time was a week ago when she came back. I got the same reaction.”

“I’m sure she just needs a bit of time.” Pete reassures him, putting his hand on Bradley’s shoulder. “I never thought you’d talk to me again and look at us ! Things can get better. The bond you two shared was strong.” he affirms.

“I find that hard to believe, she hates me. And don’t even try to tell me otherwise.” Bradley adds, seeing Pete was about to talk. “She hates me and it’s understandable.” he admits, sadly. “She had nothing to do with all of this and yet I hold her accountable just the same. And the worst part is she warned me.” he specifies, taking another sip. “There were numerous times where she told me to get my shit together and stop ruining our relationship because of my anger toward you but I didn’t listen to her. I took her for granted so I kept messing up until she got tired of it and I’ve been paying the price ever since.” Bradley exclaims, bitterly. “You know, I’ve accepted the fact she’d never forgive me, however I’d still like to apologise properly. I just want her to know how much I regret how things ended between us, no matter if she answers me or just insults me. It might be too late but she deserves me to fix my mistakes, no matter if she forgives me.”

“I can talk to her if you want to. I can convince her to listen to you.”

“No, don’t say anything.” Bradley refuses after drinking. “If she listens to me I want it to be because she wants to, not because you asked her to.”

“As you wish.” he concedes with a heavy heart.

The two men stay silent for a moment, enjoying their drink. Bradley is finally able to detach his gaze from the photo, staring into the void.

“You still love her, don’t you ?” Pete asks, bringing Bradley’s eyes on him.

“And I always will. She was my first friend and my first love. She’ll always have a place in my heart even if I don’t have one in hers anymore. I miss her so much, Mav’, if you knew.” Bradley confesses, tearing up.

“She’ll never say it out loud but she misses you too. Bradley, I promise you things will get better between the two of you.”

Bradley takes the last sip of his beer, hoping it’ll help him with his tears and the knot in his throat. At the same time he puts the bottle down, the main door opens. He knows it’s you so he quickly stands up. He doesn’t want to give you another reason to hate him therefore he tries not to run into you, though his heart only wants that. You walk in the kitchen, talking about your afternoon with Penny and Amelia to your father until you find Bradley. Instantly, you tense up and glare at your former best friend. Bradley bids goodbye to you and Pete before leaving. Pete rolls his eyes at your attitude.

“What ? I didn’t tell him anything.” you defend yourself, searching for something in the fridge.

“You might as well have.”

“Look, it’s not because you forgave him that I have to be nice to him.” you retort, closing the fridge without finding anything interesting. “Unlike you, I haven’t forgotten the way he treated us, the way he cut us out of his life.”

“I haven’t forgotten either.”

“Really ? Because it sure seems like it. It seems you’ve forgotten the pain he caused us, caused me, all the nights I spent crying because of him, all the nights where you had to hold me in your arms while I was sobbing.”

“I remember very well.” Pete admits, trying to stay calm, “But Y/N, he’s changed, okay ? Besides, he was grieving, he was hurt, angry and young-”

“Young ?” you cut him, furious. “He was twenty-five ! He was a grown ass adult, he knew very well what he was doing.”

“Okay, he has his faults as well, but he really feels bad about the way he treated you. You could at least listen to him.” he suggests and you roll your eyes.

“And did he listen to you when you tried to explain yourself ? He sent you packing. I don’t get why I should be the one making an effort. And as my father, shouldn’t you be telling me to stay away from him ?”

“Not when I know what you mean to each other.”

“He doesn’t mean anything to me. And for a long time now.” you state.

“It’s not true and you know it.”

“I don’t understand why you insist so much.”

“I’m responsible for your fallout.”

“He messed up himself.” you correct, tearing up. “He’s the one who let his anger destroy what we had. He’s the one who distanced himself from me. He ruined everything himself.”

“It’s true, nonetheless you can’t deny if I hadn’t pulled his papers, you’d still be together. Hell, you’d probably even be married with a kid now !”

“Wow, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” you say, shocked. “If he hadn’t fucked up, we’d probably still be together, yeah but the fact is you’re not responsible for it. Look, I’m glad you two put your differences aside, it just won’t be the case for me. Anyway, we should stop here.” you order, crossing your arms on your chest. “I don’t want to argue with you, I only have two weeks left with you before I go home.”

“You can be stubborn at times !” he sighs.

“I got that from my dad.” you smile at him.

“Sometimes,  I wish you hadn’t.”

You roll your eyes and laugh a little before starting to leave the room.

“He came back for me.” Pete confesses, stopping you in your tracks.

“What are you talking about ?”

“During my last mission.”

“I thought it was Hangman.” you say, frowning. 

“Hangman came to save us when we were on our way home. Bradley had strict orders to leave me behind when I sacrificed myself for him. But he came back. He didn’t listen and he came back. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the enemy territory.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before ?” you ask softly.

“Bradley told me not to. He didn’t want you to think he did that out of interest.”

You stay silent for a few moments, taking in this new piece of information. You can’t help but feel grateful for Bradley, though your anger is still there.

“It’s good to know that, at least, in the air, he has your back.” you state, leaving.

Pete sighs, seeing you walk away. He knows he promised Bradley to not get in the middle of this - even Penny told him to stay out of it, yet he can’t help it. You and Bradley were childhood best friends. He never would have imagined you’d stop talking to each other, in particular because of him. That’s why he can’t stay silent. He might have been the cause of your conflit but he wants to be the reason for your reconciliation. Furthermore, he knows he can reason you and with this last information, he was hoping it’d make you change your mind. Pete can’t help but feel a heartache, understanding it’s not the case.

However, what Pete doesn’t know is that your conversation has affected you. That night, you can’t seem to fall asleep. Your father’s words and your story with Bradley are echoing in your head. You keep tossing and turning in your bed, desperately hoping to put your brain on hold.

Once you can’t take it anymore, you turn on your bedside lamp and stand up. You walk to your closet and open it. You take a deep breath before pushing some clothes to the side in the corner of your closet until you find a box, you haven’t opened it for years. When you had started to grieve your romance with Bradley, you had put every picture, letter and object reminding you of him in that box. You were still too attached to him to throw everything away but too hurt to keep everything next to you.

The box in your hand, you sit down and open it. Tears make their way to your eyes in an instant as soon as you find your prom photo - if your heart wasn’t hurting that much, you’d laugh at your dress. In the picture, you’re looking at each other lovingly. You wish you could go back to this moment where everything was easier.  You put the picture next to you and keep finding others from birthday parties, outings, travels you did at different ages. You hold back your tears until you read the letter he wrote for your eighteenth birthday. At that moment, it becomes too much so you quickly put everything back at its place and go back to bed.

Of course, you’re still hurting from your breakup. Bradley was the most important person to you though you can’t forget the way it ended. With what your father told you, Bradley seems to be the Bradley you used to love once more but you can’t risk another heartbreak. 

For the first time in ten years, your heart seems torn between staying mad at Bradley or hearing him out. You try to reason yourself, remembering why you’re angry at him in the first place, though it’s complicated now.

Sitting at the restaurant near Top Gun, you finish telling your order to the waiter. Once he leaves, you grab your phone and send a text to your father to inform him you’ve already ordered. You’re supposed to eat with Pete who is more than thirty minutes late and quite frankly, you’re starving. You don’t worry when you get no response, knowing he probably hasn’t finished working yet. 

While waiting for your food, you keep checking your phone until the hostess comes to you. Expecting to see your dad, you put your phone down, smiling. Your smile disappears as soon as you see Bradley. The woman wishes you a nice meal before leaving you two alone. Bradley is uncomfortable because of the look you’re giving.

“What are you doing here ?” you question, drily.

“Huh, I’m supposed to eat with Mav’.”

“No, I am supposed to eat with him and…”, you start before understanding the conversation, “I can’t believe he did that.” you sigh, making Bradley frown. “He’s set it up to be sure we’d see each other. Look, I’ve already ordered and I’m sure you don’t have a lot of time left before you have to get back to work so we can eat together.”

“You don't mind ?”

“It’s just for a meal.” you say as he sits down. “I see you’re still punctual.” you comment, sarcastically, Bradley looks at you confused. “I was supposed to meet my dad at noon. You’re thirty minutes late.” you inform, checking your notifications on your phone.

“He told me he reserved for half past twelve.”

“He really thought about everything.”

The waiter gives you your meal then, he takes Bradley’s order before going back to the kitchen.

You start eating silently. Bradley doesn’t stop moving on his seat, not knowing how to act around you. You don’t like the palpable tension either, you’re in the same situation as him. Before, your conversations didn’t have an end, a subject would always appear naturally. Now, you think twice before speaking, not wanting to create an awkward moment.

You stay in this heavy silence until the waiter gives Bradley his plate. Bradley sighs in relief, finally having something to do instead of being uncomfortable. When you’re done eating, you take a sip of your glass of water before talking.

“My father told me what you did for him on your last mission. Thank you for coming back for him.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I could have never left Mav’ behind.” Bradley genuinely states.

You smile at him quickly and Bradley takes this start of conversation as a small victory. He’s grateful for Pete’s help, even if he didn’t listen to him. Bradley tells himself that this moment is his only chance to fix his wrongs with you so he finishes eating the piece of meat he has in his mouth and clears his throat to catch your attention.

“Y/N, can I talk to you ? You don’t have to say anything. I’d be happy if you only listened to me.”

“Go ahead.”

Bradley take a deep breath before looking deeply in your eyes and starting to speak : 

“Look, I know I messed up with you. I’ll forever feel bad for the way we broke up. I should have come at your birthday and-”

“Are you seriously talking about that ?” you question, in disbelief. “Bradley, it’s not the thing-”

“I know I did worse.” he interrupts you, knowing what you were going to say. “I know your birthday isn’t what hurt you the most, the fact is, it was your breaking point. Had I come, we might have found a solution, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m sorry for that night, I know I hurt you by not coming. I also know I broke your heart by ignoring you and your dad after we broke up or with what I said. I know it’s not an excuse but I was in this awful period of my life and I had to exteriorize what I was feeling and when Pete pulled my paper, it was on him then on you. I never should have lashed out on you because our relationship got damaged and that affacted our friendship, too, and for this, I’d forever be mad at myself. I should have prioritised you. I hate knowing I made you cry. I never would have thought I’d be the cause of your pain. I’m sincerely sorry for everything, above all I’m sorry for breaking my promise. If I could, I’d go back in time, I’d do everything to not lose you, to not break my promise. And maybe I’m pushing my luck right now but you’ve listened to me this far so I might as well say it ;  if you agreed to give me another chance, I’d love to be a part of your life again. You still mean a lot to me.”

Bradley finally breathes once he’s done talking. He’s sick in his stomach, fearing your reaction. Before, he could predict what you were gonna say or do with just one look. He doesn’t like the way you’ve become strangers. You need a few seconds to take in what he told you before replying.

“Thank you for everything you said. I appreciate your apologies but I need time.” you confess before looking at the time on your phone. “I have to go. I’m gonna pay.”

“I can totally-”

“I insist. Take this as a thank you for my father. Goodbye Bradley.”

Contrary to ten years ago, your goodbye is full of nostalgia and not of bitterness. Bradley stays static for a few moments, eyes on the restaurant’s door you’ve just walked through. Sure, nothing is done yet. You didn’t say you wanted him in your life again however you listened to him and that’s all that matters. He can only hope this victory is big enough to bring you back to him.

The next few days and nights, you’re lost in your thoughts which have Bradley as a main character. You think back to his words and specifically of the way you two used to be before everything bad happened. You were fine, close and in love. The months after your breakup, you wanted to have this once more, before your hurt turned into anger. If Bradley had tried apologising at that moment and not a year later, you would have forgiven him in a heartbeat. 

Now, you’re hesitating. You’re scared there’s going to be another conflict and Bradley decides to cut you out of his life once more. You wouldn’t handle it if it were to happen. Though, you wish to have Bradley in your life one more time. 

While you’re thinking, you see Bradley occasionally as he comes to your place. You don’t talk but you observe him and a part of you wants to have him close. Pete keeps speaking up for Bradley, more or less discreetly. All of this is making you change your mind and breaking the walls you had built around your heart.

After another night of staying awake, you tell yourself it’s time to speak with Bradley. You can’t stay like this anymore. Therefore, when the sun is up, you muster up your courage and call Bradley. You tell him to meet you at your place at a certain hour at the end of the afternoon, knowing Pete will be with Penny so you’ll be alone.

Your anxiety at its highest, you’re sitting on your couch and playing with a loose strand of a pillow. Despite the TV on, your eyes go from the door then to the time on your phone. There’s a knot in your stomach as you have a feeling of déjà vu.

You feel like you’re twenty-three once again, in your old house with your party dress and your red lipstick, waiting desperately for Bradley, only this time, he arrives on time, like he promised. Indeed, five minutes later, you hear a car parking in your driveway before someone knocks on your door. With one movement, you stand up after turning off the TV then, you open the door, finding Bradley, putting his Hawaiian shirt back in place. You let him in and you go to your living room.

When you’re sitting next to each other, your stress grows stronger. Was this a good idea ? What if now it was too late for him ? What if he got tired of waiting for so long ? As for Bradley, his mind is not at ease either : ‘maybe she just wants to tell me face to face she doesn’t want to see me anymore ? Or maybe in addition to her life, she doesn’t want me in Mav’s life either ?’. Finally, you’re the one cutting the tension.

“I’ve been thinking,” you begin, avoiding his gaze, “about what you told me and about us.” you state, setting your eyes on him. “Although I appreciate your apology, a part of me can’t help but think back to all the times where you apologised just to hurt me every chance you got.” you keep saying and Bradley’s heart tightens in his chest. “Though, I want to believe this time will be different. After all, if it worked out between you and my dad, why not us ? I want to forgive you, have you in my life again, however it’s the last time I forgive you, I won’t have the strength to do this one more time. I don’t know if we’ll ever have what we used to have and maybe our friendship will never be as strong as it used to be but I miss you so much. I miss my best friend.” you confess, tears in your eyes.

“I miss you so much, too, Y/N.”

“If it’s not too late for you, I still want you in my life as well.” you whisper, avoiding his gaze.

“You’ve always been the one I want, it’s never been too late for me.” Bradley affirms with a determined voice, putting his hand on your cheek. “I promise you it’s the last time, I won’t hurt you anymore and you will not lose me either and I will really keep these promises.”

Without thinking, you throw yourself in Bradley’s arms and hold against you the person you missed the most the past ten years.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part one

[marie-swriting]

The Slut Of Hawkins | And The Freak - Eddie Munson [2/2]

Stranger Things Masterlist

Part one

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : After months of loneliness because of your reputation being destroyed, Eddie Munson is there for you.

Warning : slutshaming, mention of bullying (reader and Eddie getting bullied) (talk to someone if you're being bullied!), mention of bad relationship with parents, quick mention of drug, trust issues, angst, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.9k

Song inspiration : Bad Reputation by Shawn Mendes

Your detention is over, finally allowing you to run away from a prison to go to another. You bid goodbye to the teacher and leave the school building. The parking lot is empty save some cars.

You’re walking toward the exit when you hear a voice holding you back. Before you have the time to turn around the person is already in front of you, panting. Steve is in front of you, panting. You try to walk past him yet he holds you back.

“What do you want?” you ask, drily.

“I… I just wanted to know… How are you?”

“Because you care now? Leave me alone.” you retort, trying to leave again.

“Y/N, wait!”

“What?”

“I’m sorry for everything that happened.” Steve starts with guilty eyes. “I didn’t mean for things to go that bad.”

“And yet, you did nothing to stop it. And don’t you even dare say I’m wrong.”

“I went to the principal as soon as everything went down with Jessica. I tried to explain the situation, to defend you but he didn’t want to-”

“I stopped waiting for you to take my defence more than a month ago, Steve.” you cut him off, annoyed. “At first, I stupidly thought you’d be on my side, that you’d defend me and you know what you did the first time I was humiliated in front of everyone, including you? You turned around and left me alone. I stopped counting on you a long time ago, Steve.”

“I know I acted like a coward but I want to make amends. It’s been going on for too long.”

“You want some kind of medal for your sudden realisation? It’s too late, Steve! There’s nothing left to do.”

“Y/N, please. You meant a lot to me.”

“It doesn’t feel like it!” you scream, clenching your fists. “You know, one day you told me I’d always be your favourite love, well, I’m telling you, you will always be the one I regret. The beautiful three months we spent together aren’t worth all the pain and the bullying I’ve been receiving.” you say, angry tears in your eyes. “You made me feel more alone than I’ve ever been. You said you wanted to be someone better, you have a lot of work left to do. I sincerely hope you’ll be able to do better. Either way, I don’t want to see it. Now, leave me alone.”

“Please, give me a chance.” Steve begs, grabbing your arm.

You’re about to reply to Steve when a van stops next to you. You both don’t pay attention to it until Eddie Munson’s voice cuts off your conversation.

“Hey, everything alright here?”

“We’re just talking.” Steve informs Eddie.

“Very well. Y/N, I’m still bringing you home tonight, right?”

At Eddie’s question, your eyebrows furrowed. You never talked with Eddie about him bringing you home; actually you never talked with Eddie before. Looking at him more carefully, you understand he’s just offered you a way out from your conversation with Steve. You’re about to accept when Steve beats you to it.

“I can bring her home.”

“Y/N?” Eddie insists.

“I’m going home with Eddie. Stop talking to me, Steve.”

Before Steve can add something else, you get in Eddie’s van without looking back. Eddie starts driving as soon as you close the door. You stay silent for a few seconds while a tear runs down your cheek, Eddie leans toward the glove compartment and takes a tissue before giving it to you. You softly thank him and wipe your cheeks. Once Eddie considers he’s at a good distance from school, he stops and turns to you.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really, no. I’m gonna leave here, there’s a bus soon.” you say, taking your school bag at your feet. “I don’t want to cause you any problems, especially if you’re in a relationship.”

“Good thing I don’t have a girlfriend, then.” he smiles. “And even if I did, I don’t care what they say about you so I don’t mind bringing you home.”

“Thanks.” you say before giving him your address. “Can we wait for a bit before going home? I don’t want to go now.”

“Sure.”

Eddie gives you as much time as you need to get a grip on yourself when you tell him you feel better, he starts driving the car again. You both stay silent almost the whole way home, Eddie supposes you need it; however he wants to put on some music, he clears his throat to catch your attention.

“Do you mind if I put some music on, as a background sound?”

“Not at all, go ahead. It’s your car, you don’t have to ask me.”

“It’s just, you seem lost in your thoughts, I don’t want to interrupt you.” Eddie explains whilst putting on a tape and turning down the volume a little.

“Sorry, I’m not very good company tonight.”

“That’s not what I meant. I guess you had a long day.”

“Let’s not talk about it, let’s talk about you.” you cut him off, turning to him. “Why did you finish school this late? I’m not judging, it’s just I know you’re not a fan of school.”

“That’s the least you can say.” Eddie laughs. “We had a meeting with the Hellfire club, we finished late.”

“What is your club about?”

“According to people outside of Hellfire, we worship Satan. Officially, we play Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Is it some kind of board game?” you question, curious. Edide lightly laughs at your guess.

“It’s a roleplay game.”

“Oh okay. Tell me more.”

Eddie doesn’t need you to ask him twice to start rambling. Instantly, he becomes happy while explaining the universe, the different characters and some of his campaigns. Eddie is the one who does all the talking, your answers are shorts, yet you listen to him carefully.

When you’re finally at your home, he forces himself to stop talking. Eddie parks a bit before your house - to be sure he won’t get you in trouble with your parents as he says with a humorous tone. Your heart tightens at his comment, Eddie, just like you, is a victim of the spitefulness of teenagers your age. You glance at your house before grabbing your bag and turning to Eddie.

“Thank you.” you say before pausing. “For bringing me home and for defending me last time.”

“Well, it wasn’t very useful considering they didn’t listen to me.”

“Sure but you were the only one on my side so just know, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Eddie genuinely replies.

“I’m not gonna bother you any longer.”

You leave Eddie’s van though before you can walk away, Eddie leans toward the car window from the passenger side and opens it.

“Y/N, wait! I noticed you never eat at the cafeteria for lunch. If you want, you’re welcome at the Hellfire table.” he invites you, warming your heart.

“It’s very nice but I don’t like eating at the cafeteria with others.”

“Well, just so you know, in the woods behind school, there’s a picnic table almost no one knows about. I eat there sometimes. We can eat there tomorrow.”

“I… I’ll think about it.” you promise with a small smile. “Good evening, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles back at you while you slowly walk to your front door. When Eddie is sure you’re home safe, he leaves your street, going back to the trailer park.

From that night on, Eddie pays more attention to you. Of course, he’s heard all their rumours and all the variants. Yet, Eddie is known for not blindly following what he’s told about someone else. It’s been a long time since he’s wanted to talk to you; he knows all too well how isolating having this kind of reputation can be. Nevertheless, he didn’t know how to start a conversation with you, after all, you had never really talked before until he came to your rescue the last time you talked with Steve.

After a week of analysis, Eddie’s noticed some of your defence mechanisms. The first one he noticed before he even talked with you is that you never eat with someone else - he has some ideas on where you might go hiding to eat. He also knows you always take the long way home to avoid everyone; no matter if it’s to go to class or to go home. He knows this whole situation doesn’t stop at school, it also happens in your own home. Eddie wants to give you some support like he would have liked to have the first time he got bullied.

It’s actually the reason why he decides to wait after your detention again. He wants to talk with you without having someone interrupting you or making you run away. As soon as you leave school, Eddie gets out of his van and makes you a sign. You frown before walking toward him, slightly embarrassed.

“Were… were you waiting for me?”

“I wanted to see if you need a drive home.” Eddie proposes.

“I take the bus. Last time was an exception, not that I didn’t appreciate by the way.”

“I know but I thought that maybe I could bring you home every day.” he explains, pointing at his van. “As your detention always finishes late. And I can even make some detours so you don’t have to go home right away.”

“Why?” you ask, on the lookout.

“I noticed-”

“No, why are you proposing?” you specify, interrupting him. “You seem nice but we don’t know each other, I don’t know why you’d want to bring me home when you could leave school earlier.”

“I just want to.” he replies with a genuine tone. “Plus, last time, you said you’d eat with me and I waited the whole afternoon for you which isn’t very nice so you kinda owe me.” he jokes, making you smile.

“I said I’d think about it, I never confirmed anything.”

“True and maybe you didn’t come because you had some homework to do or just because we don’t know each other that’s why I thought that by being your driver, we could become friends and maybe you’d be less hesitant at the idea of eating with someone.” Eddie admits, yet, you stay sceptical. “Y/N, I swear I’m being honest here, I’m not trying to trap you.” he adds, taking a step towards you. “If you don’t want to, I leave you alone. If you agree but then you change your mind, I leave you alone, too. I’m just offering my service, nothing more.”

You stare at Eddie, trying to decipher him. You know Eddie’s reputation and no matter what people say about him, the fact is, he’s one of the rare people from school who never put you down and the only one who defended you in front of everyone. You feel like he means his words. You have no reason to doubt, but you can’t help it. Your mind shows you every worst case scenario, trying to prove you this situation could get worse. However, your guts tells you to trust him for some reasons. 

“Fine, I accept.” 

At your answer, a big smile takes place on Eddie’s face then he runs to dramatically open the door of the passenger side. You laugh at his antics before getting in his van.

This time, on the way home you’re more talkative. You ask him some questions about Dungeons And Dragons before the conversation goes to more basic topics. You enjoy Eddie’s eccentric personality. He makes you laugh out loud, something you hadn’t done the past two months. You’re even disappointed when you see Eddie stopping in your street,  you wish you could talk with him more. You thank him before leaving his van and going home with a genuine smile on your face.

During the following weeks, your friendship with Eddie is only composed of the conversations you two have when he brings you home. You know Eddie a bit better now and you have to admit, thanks to him, life at school is more enjoyable. You haven’t dared eating with him at the picnic table so far - that doesn’t mean you don’t want to, though.

Everytime he asks you, you want to accept, except you can’t help but think about what people could say about you if they saw you going to the woods with Eddie. A new rumour could start in a second. Things are finally calming down, you can’t risk going back to square one. Nevertheless, the more the time passes, the more you want to spend it with Eddie, therefore, on the day of your last detention, you finally decide to abandon the janitor's closet and walk to the woods. Eddie is already at the table, he’s started to eat his sandwich. The second he hears someone coming to him, he raises his head. Once he sees you, he gives up his sandwich and claps his hands.

“Ladies and gentlemen, she has come !” he says solemnly. “My God, I was afraid to eat all by myself once more.”

“Feels pathetic, right?” you laugh whilst Eddie invites you to sit down in front of him. “I thought that I refused your invitation too many times, I was afraid you’d refuse to bring me home in return.”

“Never.” Eddie affirms while you take out your lunch. “I like you too much to let you go.”

“So that’s your refuge when you don’t eat at the cafeteria?”

“Pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“More than the janitor’s closet.” you confirm.

“Is that where you usually eat?”

“At least, I run into no one.” you inform, starting to eat. “Eddie, can I ask you a question?” you ask after a pause.

“Tell me.”

“How do you do it? I mean, people have been saying awful things about you for years and I don’t feel like it’s hurting you. Maybe I’m wrong and you just hide it very well. Either way, I’d like to know.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, at first, it was hard.” he confesses, avoiding your gaze. “I couldn’t stop thinking I must be the problem, if I weren’t like this maybe people wouldn’t say that. If I didn’t dress a certain way maybe they’d like me more.” Eddie adds, playing with his sandwich. “I spent the whole elementary school trying to find a reason, trying to find a way to be accepted until I realised they weren’t worth it.” he affirms, looking up at you. “I understood their opinions didn’t matter because they weren’t important to me. I understood I’d rather live like I wanted to rather than change myself and lose myself. At first, I felt alone until I met other outcasts like me. When people invent stories about you, it isolates you from the others and it creates damage; however the important thing to do is to be surrounded by the right people.”

“Beside you, I have no one.” you admit, sadly.

“Hellfire would be happy to have you.”

“Your friends don’t know me.”

“And I’m sure they’d like you if they did.”

“Maybe later.”

“Claiming back the insults they give you can help, too, you know.” Eddie specifies. “You can’t let their words hurt you. You have to create strength out of it. Now I can say I’m a freak and I’m proud of it.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know, it’s an everyday work but you can do it.” Eddie encourages you, standing up to be next to you. “You have to take the strength away from these words. They hurt you because you think they’re negatives but if you make them something positive, they won’t have any more insults to tell you.”

“You’re not seriously suggesting that I say I’m slut and I’m proud of it?” you question, panicked. 

“I don’t want you to say, I want you to yell it.” he corrects.

“You’re stupid.”

“Come on, do it.” Eddie orders, forcing you to stand up.

“I’m not gonna do it.” you retort, crossing your arms on your chest. “I’ve spent months trying to get rid of this label, I’m not gonna put it on myself.”

“You should do it, it’ll free you.”

“I’m still not convinced.”

“Do you trust me or not?” Eddie asks, determined.

“Yeah but-”

“Then do it.” Eddie interrupts, uncrossing your arms.

“I’m a slut and I’m proud.” you say without much conviction.

“Louder!”

“I’m a slut and I’m proud.” you repeat a bit louder.

“Again!”

“I’m a slut and I’m proud!” you finally scream.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Eddie yells while you smile because of his silliness. “Your smile is pretty by the way, you should show it more.”

Eddie means his words. He adores seeing you smile just like he loves hearing you laugh. By observing you these past few weeks, he quickly realised you usually keep a neutral expression - except the day you can’t hide your pain. He makes it his personal mission to give you back your smile. He wishes someone would have done the same for him when the bullying started. Eddie likes to think he makes your days a bit more bearable as well as your evenings when he brings you home.

The minute you leave your last detention, you hand back your essay on bullying to Mr. Kaminski with a big smile on your face. After a whole month, you’re finally free. You bid your teacher goodbye before running away from the place. As you walk through the corridor, your smile gets bigger when you think of what you’re going to say to Eddie about your last detention. Your turn in a new hallway where your locker is when you notice someone around it. Your smile fades and you trot towards the person, thinking you’ll find the one who is tagging your locker. At your surprise, you don’t find anyone from the basketball team nor Jessica but Eddie as he tries to scrub with a towel the insult which was written the day before.

“What are you doing?” you question, startling Eddie.

“My God, you scared me! I’m cleaning your locker. What do you think I’m doing?” he answers as if it was obvious whilst showing the towel in his hand.

“It’s very nice, I just didn’t ask you to do it.”

“I know.”

“You can stop, the janitor will take care of it tomorrow, as he always does.”

“You’ll wait a long time.” Eddie laughs as he keeps washing off.

“What do you mean?”

“The janitor is not the one who cleans these horrors off your locker. I do. And sometimes, I can also get rid of some notes that stick out.” Eddie informs, surprising you.

“Wh- why?”

“You don’t deserve to have your locker tagged.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was doing this out of interest.”

Eddie looks into your eyes as he says his last sentence while your heart misses a beat. You didn’t know Eddie cared since the beginning. He’s always been kind to you and thanks to him, you’ve been feeling better. He’s one of the rare good things that’s happened to you; his friendship is precious to you. You don’t know what you would have become without him. You keep gazing at each other lovingly until Eddie clears his throat.

“I’m almost done. And no, you can’t help me.” he quickly adds as you were about to reply. “Wait for me in the van, I only need a few more minutes.”

Eddie’s keys in hands, you get closer to him and kiss his cheek before muttering ‘thank you’. Eddie’s heart jumps at this contact. He stupidly smiles while you leave the building.

After that day, you let your guard down, allowing yourself to fully trust Eddie. Besides your friendship going to the next level, you feel like this whole thing with Steve is behind you. You believe you can have some kind of normal life. At least, it’s the case at school, your parents aren’t over it, they keep talking about it and since they’ve discovered your friendship with Eddie - once again because of Miss. Johnson, your neighbour - it’s worse. Thankfully, Eddie’s support makes things easier.

As a consequence, you accept to do the one thing you’ve been avoiding the past three months: eating at the cafeteria. You feel ready to face the potential stare from the others - with Eddie’s support, obviously. Before walking through the cafeteria’s door, Eddie makes sure you’re okay before putting a hand on your back and inviting you to take the first step. At first, no one notices you which makes you sigh in relief. However, as soon as you arrive at the Hellfire table, some people start whispering whilst pointing at you. You ignore it while Eddie introduces you to his friend.

Lunch goes smoothly until Jessica and her friends walk by you.

“Wow, the slut and the freak, they’re a good fit for each other! She’s probably with him out of interest, if you know what I mean.” she says whilst bringing an imaginary joint to her lips.

You don’t pay attention to it, knowing all too well it’d be a waste of your time to face them. Furthermore, you don’t want to go back to detention once more. You focus back on what Eddie is saying about his last campaign, listening in silence. During the whole time, you stay silent, not understanding half of their references. The few ones you get are thanks to Eddie who’s introduced you to Star Wars and some other universes he likes.

“Are you gonna be there for the next Hellfire session?” Josh asks you.

“Oh, huh, I don’t think so. I’ve never played DnD.”

“You should come.” another person from the club replies.

“See, I told you they would like you to come.” Eddie says with a satisfied smile.

“I’ll think about it then.”

“Let’s talk about you.” Nick starts. “Is it true what people say? I gotta admit I don’t know how you could have dated Harrington. This guy is superficial and according to what Eddie told us, you’re totally different from him so I don’t see why you’d want to steal him from Nancy. Besides, even about Nancy, I…”

You don’t let Nick finish his sentence before trotting out of the cafeteria. You’re tearing up as you go through different corridors, not knowing where you want to go. Eddie goes after you, not without glaring at his friend. Eddie screams your name while he runs behind you but you don’t listen to him. You get closer to the school exit when Eddit catches you. He puts his hands on your shoulder before standing in front of you.

“Let me go, Eddie.” you order, getting out of his grip.

Eddie raises his hands to show he doesn’t want to hurt you. He keeps a good distance from you before talking.

“Don’t listen to what he said. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“It’s not about what he said.” you specify. “He said nothing wrong technically. It just shows that even if the rumours aren’t spreading as much, everyone still thinks about it. Your friends talk about it, people point at me, even my parents still talk about it ! And now that we hang together, I’m afraid they’ll talk about you, too.”

“You know I don’t care what they say.” Eddie reassures you.

“I do! You had to face this for too long and I don’t want to be the reason you receive new insults. Besides, until everyone forgets all about it, they’ll always find a reason to call me a slut again. New rumours are probably already spreading thanks to Jessica.”

“Don’t listen to her. You remember what we talked about, you’re a slut and you’re proud of it so we don’t care about her.”

“I care.” you retort, firmly. “She almost ruined my school year and my relationship with my parents is at its lowest since our fight. And now, they know we’re friends and they start criticising me again. I felt like everything was going fine but now, it still seems so fragile, as if everything could go back to what it used to be in an instant.”

“It won’t be the case.” Eddie promises you, getting closer to you. “Plus, you’re not alone. You got me.”

“Why do you insist so much? We didn’t even know each other before all of this.”

“It’s true and at first, I wanted to talk to you to be sure you weren’t going through all of this alone but now, I care about you. I like you a lot and-”

“That’s what you say now until the day you’ll be fed up with all of this.” you interrupt him, having a flashback from your relationship with Steve.

“Y/N, I mean it when I say I don’t care what they say about you. I know they gave you a bad reputation because of your relationship. They don’t know what you’ve been through and Steve didn’t know how to be here for you but I’m not like him. You probably have some issue trusting me but have some faith in me when I say I’m not like them and that I like you a lot.” he affirms, putting his hand on your cheek. “You know I only follow my own rules and I’ll need more than a few rumours to make me run away.”

“I-”

“I know you’re scared to be hurt again and it’s okay.” he cuts you off, “but I promise you, I will always be by your side and trust me when I tell you I could be the one to treat you right, unlike the others, I know you’re an amazing girl and I don’t want to lose my chance. You mean a lot to me and I’m not gonna let you slip through my fingers because of some brainless teenagers.” Eddie says and you take a step back. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared. Don’t let go because of this reason. You can’t let them dictate your life anymore.”

“I thought I was ready but I’m not.” you inform, going backward. “Sorry, Eddie.”

And on those words, you leave school. You don’t care if you have some classes left, you need to get away. You need to take a step back from this whole situation. Eddie lets you go with a heavy heart, understanding your reasons.

The following day, you avoid Eddie like the plague, you know you got scared and the way you pushed Eddie away isn’t fair, considering everything he’s done for you but you can’t help it. Everything went downhill without a warning last time and you never want to go through this again so you preferred to run away before it could get worse. 

Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean you’re not hurting. You miss Eddie. You knew you cared about him though before avoiding him, you didn’t know just how much. You have to stop yourself from running to him; you just want to be in his protective arms like the time you brokedown the first time you came to his place. You need him more than you imagined. And this feeling of missing him doesn’t get better when you discover a note in your locker. At first, you think about throwing it away, fearing another insult except you recognise Eddie’s handwriting. Your heart tightening, you open it and read it:

“Y/N, 

I know why you pushed me away but please, think about it before isolating yourself once more. You know it’s not good. I’m here for you and I always will be, even if you only talk to me in thirty years. You mean a lot to me so I will always be by your side during the good and the hard times, especially during the hard ones.

I miss my friend. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile. I need my friend. All I need is you.

Please, don’t cut me out of your life because you’re scared of getting hurt or what people might say about me. I just want you, I don’t care about them. 

Eddie”

After ignoring him for more than a week, you can’t stay away from Eddie any longer, you miss your friend too much. Eddie’s little note worked on you, though you try to deny it at first.

While you’re leaving school, you see Eddie close to his van talking to a Hellfire member. You watch him from afar, searching for what you want to tell him. The second you think you know what to say, you start walking toward him as you keep your eyes on his figure. You’re only a few metres away when his friends leave, allowing Eddie to notice you; he smiles as soon as he sees you. Eddie is about to talk to you when you put your hands on his cheeks and press your lips on his. Eddie is stunned at first then he kisses you back, enjoying your touch. You can hear some people talking around you but you don’t pay attention, only deepening the kiss. Eddie feels his heart exploding as he realises that for the first time in a while, you do something you want without caring what people might say about you. Eddie hands go from your hips to your cheeks, bringing you closer to him. Once you’re out of breath, you regretfully break the kiss, you have an idiotic smile on your face as you take in the moment.

“I don’t care what they say either. I just want you and that’s all that matters.” you affirm. “They can talk all they want, as long as I have you, I don’t care.”

Part one

Stranger Things Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Anything Serious - Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : Three times you flirt with Natasha and one time, you confess your feelings.

Warnings : Angst, happy ending, alcohol consumption (be careful with your acohol consumption), thowing up, drunk confession, implied sex but noting explicit, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.7k

French version

Song inspiration : Flirting With Her by Sir Babygirl

“Here to being single !” you yell before taking a shot with your two friends Sarah and Alison.

The sound of your glass being put down on the table resonates in the bar. The alcohol burns your throat but you still let go of a victory scream. Tonight, you’re celebrating your single life like you just screamed. 

You were in a relationship for the past three years before your ex broke up with you for someone else who, apparently, is better than you. You’re not going to lie, a week ago, you were a mess. You were inconsolable, you only left your home for work and you’d stay in front of the TV doing nothing. Fortunately, thanks to your best friend’s encouragement, you realised it was her loss, not yours. That’s why you want to celebrate the fact that you’re single and without any string attached. 

“I’m finally gonna be able to do things I’ve always wanted to do and it’ll be easy.” you announce with joy. “I’m gonna have fun, go out as much as I want without any drama. You were right, Sarah, this is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. And I am telling you two, I’m gonna have so much fun…” you continue while your eyes find a woman with raven hair, “with her, for example. She is beautiful.”

“Well, the single phase would have been long.” Alison laughs as you keep looking at the woman.

“Who said I wanted to date again?”

“You’ve just fallen for her.”

“So what ? It doesn’t mean it has to be serious.”

“But you only do serious relationships.” Sarah contradicts.

“Not anymore.” you state before ordering a new shot.

“You sure you wanna do this?”

“Totally! She’s in the Navy,” you explain, pointing at her uniform, “so she won’t be here for too long, in other words, if it goes right then perfect and if it goes wrong, then I won’t have to worry about seeing her again. It’s a win-win situation.”

“Then, go shoot your shot !” Alison encourages.

“Sure do !” you exclaim before drinking your shot.

You make sure your outfit is put together before going to the bar under your friends’ encouragement. First, you talk to Penny and pay for a cocktail. You patiently wait for Penny to give it to the woman and explain to her it’s from you. Once Penny goes to another client, the raven-haired woman’s eyes land on you while she smiles and takes a sip of the drink. You take this as a good sign so you stand up and go sit next to her.

“Thanks for the cocktail. Good choice.” she comments, drinking a bit more.

“Glad you like it. I’m Y/N and you?”

“Natasha.”

“What’s your callsign?”

Natasha looks at you, surprised, not expecting this would be a detail you were interested in.

“Phoenix.” Natasha informs with a confident smile.

“I bet your callsign suits you well.”

“You tell me. What brings you here tonight?” she questions, intrigued.

“I’m just enjoying my new freedom and you?”

“Nothing special, I’m relaxing after my day at work.”

“You’re here on a deployment?”

“Yes, I’m only here for two weeks. I want to make the best out of it.”

“As do I.” you state with a flirty smile. “You should join my friends and I. We’re gonna play darts. You’re more than welcome.”

“I will.”

You smile at Natasha then go back to your friends, your mouth wide open, simulating a scream of joy. Your friends ask you a lot of questions as soon as you’re at the table with them again and you answer them without wasting a second.

“I’m telling you, by the end of this night, I have her number, at least !”

And you’ve had even more.

The next day, you wake up in an unknown bedroom, Natasha’s arms around your waist. Understanding you didn’t go home after your intimate moment, you mentally insult yourself. You don’t know if you should wait for her to wake up or leave now. You debate with yourself for a few seconds before coming to the conclusion it’s better to run away now, especially because you have some work waiting for you. 

Slowly, you get out of Natasha’s grip and pick your clothes off the floor. Hastily, you get dressed before walking to the exit. When you’re about to open the door, you sigh in relief when Natasha’s voice comes behind you. You jump and turn around, facing her with your hand on your heart.

“I didn’t think you were the kind to sneak off.” she laughs.

“Oh, well, I was thinking you wouldn’t want me at your place for any longer. Actually, I…” you try to explain before admitting defeat, “I have to confess I don't know the rules for one night-stands. It’s the first time I do this.”

“Glad to be the first. And for your information, it can differ with the person though, personally, I don’t mind if you want to stay.”

“Got it. But I have to go. I have work to do.” you inform, sad to leave her so soon.

“No worries. Are you gonna go out like this?”

Following her question, you look down at your outfit, not understanding her critic. Sure, one can tell it’s not a typical Sunday outfit however, it doesn’t look ugly. You don’t see the problem. Phoenix leaves the bed before opening her closet.

“It’s cold in the morning. Here, you can take my jacket.” she says, handing the piece of cloth.

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to give it back before you leave.”

“It’s okay. At least, I’ll have an excuse to send you a text when I’ll be around again.”

“Thanks for the jacket then.”

Natasha gives you a tender smile while you put the jacket on ; you don’t move for a few seconds, admiring her face one last time before leaving. You want to memorise her face because, no matter if she said she’ll text you when she’ll come back, you doubt it. You flirted, you matched, you had a nice moment but it’s only a one-time thing ; you don’t think you’re ready to start anything.

As soon as you tear your eyes away from Natasha, you zip up the jacket before opening the door. Natasha asks you to send her a message once you get home. You promise her to do it then, you leave.

And the second you come home, you grab your phone before informing her:

Message from you to Natasha, 7:36 A.M.:

I’m safe and at home. Thanks for the jacket, I promise I’ll give you back when you’ll be here again…

Or not ;)

Six months have passed since your meeting with Natasha. After your text when you came home, she simply replied “Glad to know you’re home. See you again :)” then nothing. You couldn’t have expected anything else. After all, you only shared one night together. But still, you feel a pinch in your chest, realising her lack of messages.

Therefore, you do everything to leave this story behind you. Even if you randomly met her, nothing would happen, that was for sure. You need to go back to your peaceful life where you’ve been picking some new habits. One of them being going to the Hard Deck once a week with your friends. Contrary to when you were younger, now you enjoy a good night out, having fun with your loved ones, an alcoholic drink in your hands. You’ve met some new people though, nothing that could compete with what you felt the second you saw Natasha.

This weekend is not different from the others, you find yourself at the bar. You’re laughing with your friends when a waitress comes to give you a cocktail you didn’t order. When she tells you someone paid for it and you see Natasha from afar, you can’t believe your eyes. You didn’t think you’d see her again. She gives you  a sign with her own drink before taking a sip. You give her back her sign and drink.

Next to Natasha, Bradley looks at her and sighs, desperate by the situation.

“You should talk to her instead of staying at a stupid safe distance.”

“We haven’t seen each other for six months, I just wanted to make sure she was still interested before doing something.”

“Now you know she does, go talk to her.” he orders, trying to push her in your direction.

“She’s with her friends.”

“And it didn’t bother her last time to talk to you. I don’t get it, Natasha, you’ve never been like this before.”

“I know!” she exclaims, mad at herself. “And I hate how I’m overthinking this. I feel like you.”

“Well, thanks! It wasn’t even serious between you two, you shouldn’t think too much about it. Go talk to her.”

“And tell her what?”

“I don’t know! I’m not the one who had a one-night stand with her. If you don’t want to talk to her, invite her to dance.” Bradley proposes, annoyed.

“No one is dancing.”

“In less than a minute, it won’t be the case anymore. Go to her, I’m handling the rest.”

Natasha drinks her glass in one go before walking to you with a fake confidence expression on her face. As for Bradley, he’s walking towards the piano, waiting for the right moment to start playing. 

You’re talking with Sarah who is in front of you when Alison catches your attention by hitting your ribs. You look at your friend, brows furrowed whilst she makes a sign to look at the other side. At the same moment you’re turning your head, Natasha is in front of you and Bradley starts playing Great Ball Of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis. Instantly, people start dancing and Natasha gives you her hand with a smile.

“Wanna dance ?”

As a simple answer, you take her hand, you stand up from your chair and follow Natasha who is bringing you to the piano, your friends on your heels. You sing alone with Bradley while Natasha and you dance without a care in the world. You’re laughing and spinning each other until the last note of the song. 

Once Bradley finishes singing, Natasha keeps your hand in hers. You stare at each other with a huge smile on your face.

“I didn’t know you were back. You haven’t texted me.” you state, still surprised.

“I was going to, I’ve just arrived.”

“How long are you here for?”

“Three weeks.”

“So we have a bit more time. We should make up for the lost time. I hope I’ll be able to give you back your jacket, though I have to admit, I’d like to keep it, but you can always come to my place to try to have it back.” you propose with a flirty look.

“I will. At least, this time, I’ll be sure you won’t be sneaking off.” Natasha laughs and you roll your eyes, faking being mad.

“You’re never gonna let this go, are you?”

“I won’t.”

In spite of yourself, your heart melts when you look at Natasha’s mischievous smile. You don’t want to admit it but you missed her. You really thought you had forgotten about her, you were far from the truth. Yet, it seems like you weren’t the only one. You’re glad to see you’ve affected her as much as she’s affected you, though you didn’t want to grow attached to someone that quickly.

However, you leave your mixed feelings behind you for the rest of the night, enjoying this moment with Natasha and getting to know her a bit more. 

Like six months ago, after some flirty comments, Natasha finds her way in your bed, your arms around her body.

Message from Natasha to you, 9:05 P.M.:

Hey, I’m back in town. Are you free tonight?

You look at Natasha’s text for several minutes, not knowing what to answer. You are, indeed, free tonight though, you don’t know if it’s a good idea. Since your reunion at the Hard Deck three months ago, you’ve seen each other several times and you have to confess your feelings for her are getting stronger.

At first, you thought it was just an innocent crush, however, she haunts your mind and you’re just waiting for the moment where you’ll see her again. Sure, your relationship is more physical than emotional but you’re gladly taking anything she wants to give you. Despite of yourself, she’s managed to leave her name on your lips and you yearn for the feeling of her body in your arms. You wish you could have more, though you’re pretty sure she doesn’t. You should keep your distance with Natasha, it’d be better. Like this, you’ll avoid a heartbreak again, especially considering your relationship is non-existent. 

You have to lie to her and say you can’t see her. It’s better for you. That’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to stay far away from her.

You didn’t stay far away from her for long.

Without knowing how, you found yourself in Natasha’s hotel room, your clothes found themselves on the floor and you found each other in the bed. A part of you is cursing at you for not listening to your rational side but currently, it’s the least of your worries.

In Natasha’s arms, you discuss several things and you realise if given a chance, you could have a beautiful love story. You have a lot of things in common and your views about the world and the future are similar. You could have had a great future with Natasha. However, after every intimate moment spent together, Natasha reminds you that it’ll never be more than nights shared together.

“I’m glad we’ve met, you know,” Natasha starts, holding you tighter against her, “because of my work, it’s always been complicated to form relationships but with you, it’s easy, peaceful. We don’t want anything serious so what we have is enough.”

“Yes, it's good. I’m enjoying every moment of my single life for the first time.” you affirm, hiding your disappointment.

“You know, the day you’ll meet someone who’s worth it, you can tell me. I’ll understand if you don’t want us to talk anymore.”

“Same goes for you.”

“You don’t have to worry about this.”

“You don’t want a serious relationship? Like, ever?” you question, looking her right in the eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t want one, it’s just that it’s easier like this. I could never truly give to the other person the relationship they’d deserve so I don’t want to waste my time. Besides, long-distance relationships aren’t my thing and I can’t ask for the person to give everything up for me.” she states like it was obvious.

“But some people find a right balance between work and their lovelife.”

“You’re right. I just don’t know if I’ll find the right person one day.”

Hearing her sentence, your heart tightens in your chest. Natasha just gave you a good reminder. You really have to distance yourself from her. She doesn’t want anything serious and even if she wanted to, you’re not a person she fancies. She looked you right in the eyes and told you she hasn’t found the person worth having a relationship with. 

You’re holding back your tears as best as you can while your eyes are on hers. As soon as you realise you won’t be able to do it any longer, you clear your throat before getting up from the bed and picking up your stuff from the floor.

“I…I have to go. I'm going to work early tomorrow.” you inform, putting on your tee-shirt.

“We can go to sleep now if you want.”

“No, I need to get home. I don’t have my stuff here.”

“Can we see each other in the next few days?”

“I don’t think so, I’m quite busy,” you lie, zipping up the fly of your pants. “I… bye.” you stutter.

You don’t give Natasha the time to say goodbye to you and run away from her hotel room. You search for your car keys in your bag as the tears are gathering in your eyes. They start running down your cheeks once you leave the parking lot.

You knew it. You knew it would end up in a heartbreak if you continued and it didn’t stop you. Why do you have such a fragile heart? Why do you have to get attached to people so easily? Why can’t you keep an emotional distance? Natasha seems to handle things just fine so why not you?

Once you’re at home, your tears have stopped though, your cheeks are still wet. You get ready to go to sleep and before you can lay down on your bed, you take your phone. You’re about to open your contacts when you get a text from Natasha.

Message from Natasha to you, 00:30 A.M.:

I hope we’ll have more time next time :) 

You don’t have the strength to answer. Reluctantly, you delete the conversation and her number - not without doubting for several seconds. You put down your phone and try to fall asleep despite your heart being broken into a thousand pieces.

Four months have passed since your last time with Natasha and you are more or less over it. 

Except if you consider your current state, you could say you’re still hurting. Saying you were drunk would be an understatement. You don't know how many drinks you’ve had but you know if you try to walk, you’ll fall. And all of this because of one damn message. Technically, you could have disregarded it. You don’t have Natasha’s number anymore so the sender was shown as an unknown number and the text wasn’t saying anything special. Her text was a simple and innocent “hey 😘” but it was enough for you to know who it was and to hurt you even more. You felt like you were finally moving on and your reaction proves you it was just a feeling. 

You’re alone at the table even if you came with your friend Sarah. She’s currently dancing with a man she just met. At first, she didn’t want to leave you alone, knowing you were drowning your sorrows. However, you promised her she could have fun without feeling guilty whilst you were ordering your sixth drink. 

You’re staring at your hands who are holding your drink while you’re lost in your thoughts. You should have never started this fling with Natasha. This sentence is playing continually in your mind since you left the hotel room four months ago.

The day after your last time, you went to meet your friends and you told them how sad you were whilst they were holding you in their arms. Both of them affirmed you had to move on, the very thought you feared. A part of you was hoping they’d encourage you to fight for your potential story with Natasha. Unfortunately, your friends were realistic.

You slowly keep drinking when you feel a presence next to you. Turning your head, you find Natasha and you think maybe you shouldn’t finish your drink. You’re in such an inebriated state that you start having hallucinations. You didn’t think it was possible. 

“Hey, how are you?”

Maybe it’s not a hallucination after all. Natasha’s voice seems real.

“Oh, hi!” you exclaim, trying to be casual.

“I take this as it’s not your first drink.”

“Well, it’s possible. Probable.”

“Don’t you think you should go home? Did you come alone?” she questions, searching for one of your friends.

“With Sarah.”

“Do you want me to bring you home?”

“No, I’m gonna wait for Sarah.” you quickly reply, remembering you need to keep your distance.

“She seems busy.” Natasha notes, looking at your friend. “Wait here.”

Natasha walks away from you and goes to Sarah before you can’t stop her. You see her talking and your friend looking at you before reluctantly nodding. Quickly, Natasha comes back to you and takes your drink away from your hands. You’re about to complain when she helps you to stand up.

“Come on, we’re going home.”

“But I have to go home with Sarah.” you oppose.

“I told her I’ll bring you home.” she informs, surprising you.

“She agreed?”

You wouldn’t have thought Sarah would have accepted, knowing she keeps saying how you absolutely have to forget Natasha. Your state must be more pathetic than you thought.

“Considering how drunk you are, we agreed it’d be better to bring you home now. Come on.”

You don’t have the strength to fight back so you give in and follow Natasha in her car. Once you’re buckled up, Natasha starts the vehicle. Your head resting against the car window, you contemplate the night, your mind all fuzzy.

After a few minutes, you tear your gaze away from the night sky and look at Natasha. You admire every inch of her skin whilst she’s focused on the road.

“You really are beautiful.” you state straight away.

“Oh, huh, thanks.” Natasha replies, embarrassed.

“How can you be so beautiful? And that’s not it! You’re also intelligent, funny and you have so many other qualities.”

“Why do I feel like you’re accusing me of something?” she asks, hearing your tone full of reproach.

“Because if you were less perfect it’d be easier.”

“I’m far from perfect. And what do you mean by ‘it’d be easier’?”

“Stop the car.” you retort, feeling the need to throw up.

“What?”

“Stop the car! Pull up!”

She just has the time to stop the car that you’re already outside. You can only take two steps before throwing up. Natasha quickly comes behind you and holds back your hair. Once you’ve finished vomiting, you breathe for a few seconds before standing up, a shameful expression on your face.

“Sorry, that was not sexy.”

“It’s okay. You’re feeling any better?” she worries, examining your face.

“Puking helped.”

“Here.” Natasha says, giving you a tissue. “I think I have a bottle of water in my car and some mints, do you want some?”

“Yes, please.”

While you’re wiping your mouth, Natasha goes to grab the bottle and the mints. As soon as she hands you the bottle, you rinse your mouth before taking a mint. You don’t move for a few minutes, wanting to make sure your stomach won’t empty itself again.

“You feel ready to go?” she questions, stroking your cheek.

“I think so but drive slowly, it’s safer.”

“Tell me if you need to stop again.”

Delicately, Natasha takes your hand and accompanies you to the car. This time, you stay silent the whole ride. You’re focused on the landscape and Natasha doesn’t dare to disturb your mind. As the road goes on, your eyelids get heavier and you end up falling asleep.

The moment Natasha arrives at your place, she slowly wakes you up. You lightly groan before opening your eyes. Natasha helps you to go to your door whilst you’re still asleep on your feet. She brings you to your bathroom where she helps you to get ready to go to bed - and where you can finally brush your teeth. You get into your bed whilst Natasha carefully puts the sheet on you. She’s about to leave when you squeeze her hand.

“Stay.” you mutter with sleepy eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“I’m staying here, I’m just gonna sleep on the couch.”

“Please, stay with me.” you insist, trying to bring her to you.

“Are you sure about this?”

As a simple answer, you nod. Natasha takes her shoes and her pants off, leaving her only with her underwear and her tee-shirt, before joining you in the bed. Laying down next to you, you search for Natasha’s hand. She understands what you want and puts her hand on your waist, pressing your back against her torso. At her touch, you let go of a peaceful sigh.

“By the way, I really need to give you your jacket back.” you say with a sleepy voice. “I can’t keep it just like I shouldn’t have you this close to me.” you resume, making her frown. “I care about you, you know. More than I should. I like you, Nat’.”

Upon these words, you fall asleep. Behind you, Natasha wonders if she heard you right and more specifically if you meant it. After all, it might just be the effect of alcohol? Though, she can’t stop a smile from forming on her face before holding you closer to her.

The following morning, you wake up with one of the biggest hangovers you’ve ever had. You’ve definitely reached the age where you can’t drink as much without the after-effects. You slowly open your eyes, fearing the daylight might burn them. Thankfully, there is just enough light to see without hurting you. Glancing at your night stand, you find a glass of water and a medicine which you take without an ounce of hesitation after you sit down.

As soon as you put down the glass, the bathroom door opens on Natasha, making your eyebrows furrowed. You don’t recall going home with her. Seeing the panic in your eyes, Natasha gets closer to you with a reassuring smile. 

“Nothing happened. I just helped you to get home.”

“Oh, okay. What about Sarah? Does she know…”

“She knows, yes. I warned her before we left. How are you feeling today?” Natasha asks, sitting in front of you in the bed.

“Like I had too much to drink last night.” you laugh and she does the same.

“I can imagine. Do you remember anything about last night?”

“Huh, some parts, but…”

You stop mid-sentence as you try to remember what happened. Some moments are more blurry than the others, however one of them is very clear. Your confession before you fell asleep. The heat gets to your cheeks and your hands get clammy. You hope with your whole heart Natasha didn’t hear anything. However, her pointing look makes you understand your hopes are vain.

“Tell me I didn’t say that. Can we pretend like I didn’t say anything?”

“Why?” she asks, confused.

“Because it’s embarrassing and because it could never work between us.”

“Who said it couldn’t work?”

“You did.” you state as if it was obvious. “You said you didn’t want a serious relationship or a long distance one.”

“Is that why you haven’t been answering my texts?”

“What would have come out of it anyway? Besides breaking my heart.” you say, avoiding her gaze. “I know I told you I didn’t want anything serious when we started seeing each other and it was true at first but I like spending time with you, being next to you, listening to you talk even though I know I shouldn’t. I should have stopped what we had when my feelings changed. I’d understand if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore.” you whisper, tearing up.

“Y/N…” she starts, taking your hand. “I’m sorry for giving you the impression I didn’t want you. I panicked the second I realised my feelings for you. I thought you didn’t want anything serious so I kept my distance whilst staying close to you and in doing so I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry. But I do want a serious relationship with you. No matter if there is the distance, I want to try with you because you’re worth it. I care about you.” Natasha confesses, making you look up at her.

“Don’t say this to make me feel better. I was drunk when I said it and-”

Natasha’s lips are on yours before you can add another word. Surprised, you need a second before kissing her back. Natasha’s hands find their way to your hips whilst yours get lost in her hair. You kiss each other for a few seconds before breaking the kiss. You keep your eyes closed for a bit longer, enjoying the feeling. It might not be your first kiss with Natasha yet, this one feels different from the ones you shared before.

“Do you believe me now when I tell you I like you too or do you need more proof?”

“I think I need more proof, yes.” you smile with heart eyes.

“Well, in that case…” Natasha resumes before pressing her lips on yours once more.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist