#marie swriting in english

[marie-swriting]

Love Advice - Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : Jake comes back after six months of deployment and he needs your help to win the woman he loves.

Warnings : a tiny bit of angst, mutual pining, thinking there's an unrequited love, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.4k

French version

Song inspiration : How You Get The Girl (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Somebody knocking on your door takes your attention away from your TV show; at first, you just lower the volume down so the person doesn’t know you’re home and wait for them to leave. However, the second the knocks on the door get more insistent and you hear ‘I know you’re home’ with a Texan accent, you jump out of your couch and run to open the door to Jake. You joyfully shriek before throwing yourself into his arms. Jake laughs because of your enthusiasm, then he tenderly holds you close to him. 

You haven’t seen each other in six months because of his last deployment. Of course, you called each other almost every day, it’s just not the same. You've been thick as thieves since you were five, you need to see each other often. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home today?” you ask, breaking the embrace.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you did. I missed you so much!” you exclaim, kissing his cheek before bringing him inside. “I hope you’re staying home for a long time. Six months without seeing each other is too much!”

“I totally agree.”

As usual, when he comes back home, you spend the day together then, Jake sleeps at yours. You go downtown, eat something, even watch a movie if there’s something interesting and the next day, Jake goes to his place - he lives twenty minutes away.

As soon as the night comes, you go home, takeout food in hand. You go into your living-room and you put a random show as background noise. You keep talking about the last few months in order to catch up when you decide to bring up a topic Jake seems to avoid.

“So, you didn’t tell me anything, what’s going on with Lara?”

Jake met Lara in a bar a week before leaving. You weren’t with him that night, so you don’t know a lot about their relationship; all you know is Jake got along with her pretty well.

“Oh, huh… Well…” he stutters and avoids your gaze.

“Jake,” you say with a disapproving tone. “Don’t tell me you messed up. Not again!”

“Not really. Okay, maybe a little.”

“What did you do?”

“I may or may not have not called her since I left.”

“Are you kidding me?” you scream, hitting his shoulder. “Do you realise you’re the kind of guy we talk shit about when we’re talking with other girls? Jake, you have to stop being a dick and destroying your relationship. You’re a nice guy, but whenever it’s about love, you’re the worst of them. Every time you find an awesome girl, you just ruin everything.”

“I know and this time, I want to fix this.”

“Before we keep going, you didn’t cheat on her, did you?”

“I might suck at relationships, however, you know I have some limits and I’m quite proud to say I’ve never crossed that line.” he affirms with a grin.

“You better!”

“Anyway, at first, I didn’t know what I wanted with her but now I do. I really connected with Lara and I want her to forgive me and give me another chance, I just don’t know how to do it.”

Following his sentence, you immediately understand what he wants. He messed up and now he needs your wise advice to fix the situation. Again. You roll your eyes before straightening up.

“I’m gonna make you pay for my love advice one day, at least, I’ll become a billionaire in a month with you.”

“You’re the most stable person I know when it comes to relationships so obviously I always go to you! Besides, you’re a woman, you know what to do.”

“True.” you modestly confirm. “First thing first, meet her in a neutral environment, a café for example.”

“And I buy her flowers?”

“Do you know her favourite flowers?”

“Roses are the safe option, right?” he suggests and you’re desperate.

“Do you know any personal details about Lara, like her favourite book?” you ask and he shakes his head. “Well, just pay for whatever she orders. First, you apologise and you do it correctly, you put the focus on her and what she might have felt. The goal is not for her to comfort you because you feel bad when you’re the one who messed up. If she still hasn’t thrown her drink in your face, you’re on the right track. Then you say, in the most convincing way, you want her, not an other girl, for worse or for better. You know it’s gonna take her some time for her to trust you again but you will forever and ever. Tell her you know you broke her and you’ll put it back together because you care about her and you want to do better for her. In short, show her you want to be a better man and make sure your actions match your words quickly. And that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl. At least, your chances will be higher.”

“You seriously think it can work?” Jake asks skeptical. 

“I can’t 100% promise you but, at least, it shows you want to be the man she deserves. Either way, you have to keep me updated! And also, don’t wait too long to do it. You should even contact her right now so you can see her in the following days.”

“You’re right.”

Jake takes his phone and quickly types a message. After you approve it, he sends it and nervously waits for the response; however, being tired from the travel, Jake quickly starts to yawn so you go to sleep. Jake sleeps in the same bed as you. You’ve always done it so you’re not going to change this now, after all, between you two, it’s purely platonic.

At least, for him. The same cannot be said about you. When you were still in High School, your crush on Jake was almost embarrassing. It’s actually the only secret you’ve never told him. Officially. During prom, you confessed to Jake you wanted to be more than friends nevertheless he was so drunk he didn’t understand it and the next day; he had zero recollection of it and you were very grateful. You don’t know what you would’ve done if he had remembered. You probably would have lost your best friend and you couldn’t allow this to happen so you just repressed your crush until it eventually died. 

Notwithstanding, what you don’t know and the only secret Jake has never told you is that he remembers pretty well what you told him that night. He was just so stunned that he pretended he didn’t understand it. He thought he didn’t like you that way so he said nothing to not alter your friendship; though, the backlash was pretty violent two years later when you got your first serious boyfriend, Jake was insanely jealous. At first, he just thought he was afraid to lose his best friend until he reached the dreadful conclusion: he has feelings for you and it’s too late, he missed his chance with you. As a consequence, Jake went from one fling to the other while you were going from one long-lasting relationship to the other without him understanding what you found to ‘those dudes’ like he always says. Though, these last few months, he has come to terms with the fact one of ‘those dudes’ whom you’ve been with for several years is the one for you. Jake isn’t sure he’s the one you deserve, and he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, that’s why he wants to fix his relationship with Lara, especially because your relationship with Scott is the longest one you’ve ever had and he’s probably your future husband so Jake definitely has to stop hoping you’ll get together one day. He has to move just like you did.

The next morning, once Jake wakes up, you’ve already left for work. While he’s eating breakfast, Jake’s eyes are set on a picture of you and him hung on your wall, he has his lips pressed on your cheek while you’re trying to hide your fluster with a smile. The picture was taken on the last day of High School and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t one of his favourites. He finds you cute in this photo. 

His phone ringing catches his attention. He unlocks it and discovers a text from Lara.

Message from Lara to Jake, 8:37 A.M.:

I’m willing to hear you out, but just because I want some explanations. Is tomorrow afternoon okay for you?

Jake quickly answers her and confirms the date. He should be happy, Lara is open to the discussion though, he can’t help his heart to tighten in his chest, and he stares at the picture on the wall again. He shakes his head and brings back his attention to Lara. You’re part of his romantic past, even if nothing ever happened, Lara is his future. He has to think about her, not you.

The minute you come home from work that night, Jake tells you about his date the next day. You congratulate him with a big smile, though your heart breaks a little. Jake rehearses to you what he’s going to tell Lara to make sure he won't ruin his last chance and you assure him his speech is perfect.

“White lilies, those are her favourite flowers.” Jake says point blank.

“Then offer her some. It’ll prove you care about her because you remember a small detail about her.”

“That’s why you didn’t want me to take roses?”

“Exactly. If you are lucky and it’s her favourite flower, you’re good but imagine if she hates them because she finds them cliché, you’ll ruin your chances before opening your mouth, ‘cause on top of not being original, you just prove you don’t pay attention to her. Roses are the safe option, yet it doesn’t mean it should be your choice at the slightest obstacle. You’re already taking risks by coming back after six months of radio silence so go all the way, don’t play safe with roses.”

“You’re right.”

“I know I’m right! And please, please, please, don’t buy her flowers only when you screw up. Do it when everything is good between you. Do it even when there’s nothing to celebrate. It’s those kinds of tiny details that’ll make all the difference, it proves you care about her. Of course, it goes further than flowers but you get the idea, the fact is, you can’t let a routine get in the way and the only times you break it and you give her some attention is to make up to her or believe me, it’s the breakup for sure because she’ll feel abandoned.” you specify, saying your last sentence at an incredible speed and Jake looks at you suspiciously.

“Is everything okay between you and Scott? It sounded personal at the end.”

“We’re not talking about me but you.”

“So the answer is no.” he affirms, reading you like an open book.

“We broke up five months ago.” you sigh.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me? What did he do? He didn’t cheat on you, did he?” Jake questions, protective.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just after six, almost seven years of relationship, we lost ourselves in a routine and we realised we were together out of habits not out of love. Besides, we argued more and more for useless things. It’s better like that.”

What you’re not telling Jake is that there is another reason. Scott was sure you and Jake are in love. No matter how many times you said your crush on Jake was only when you were a teenager and that Jake never loved you like this, Scott never believed you. Your friendship with Jake was the main argument between you and Scott.

“You should have told me sooner rather than pretending you were fine when we were on the phone.”

“Don’t worry, I got over it. Let’s talk about you and Lara again. You didn’t tell me a lot about her.”

“In my defence, I never thought I’d go further with her.”

Jake replies to your several questions, but he can’t help and think back to the information you just gave him. You broke up with Scott, something he didn’t think would happen. He was sure you were going to end your life with him. As opposed to your exes, Jake had to admit Scott did deserve you and it cost him a lot to say it, nonetheless he could see how Scott made you happy like he never could. Maybe this time Jake could make you happy? Jake pushed this last thought in the back of his mind. He agreed he had to leave you in the past. Jake can’t hope for a future with you when he’s about to win Lara’s heart again! He needs to stay focused.

Jake ends up leaving in the late evening to go to his place. You hug him and give him some encouragement for his date before closing the door behind him. That night, Jake struggles to fall asleep, completely lost about who he truly wants.

The next day as it is your day off and raining a lot, you stay home and clean your apartment from top to bottom. Music coming out of your phone, you wipe the floor with care when someone knocks on your door. You loudly sigh then put the mop back in the bucket and make sure it doesn’t fall before walking to the door whilst shutting down your music. Once you open, you surprisingly find Jake, soaking wet, with a bouquet of several flowers in purple tones.

“Jake? What are you doing here?”

“I remember.” he tells you as if you were supposed to get it.

“What are you talking about?”

“Prom.”

“What? Aren’t you supposed to be with Lara by now, anyway? And I thought you were gonna offer her lilies.” you question, after you understood what he meant.

“The flowers, they’re for you. I’m not playing safe, I know you love these kinds of bouquet because you can’t pick a favourite flower and your favourite colour is purple.” he says, handing you the bouquet, yet you don’t take it.

“What? Are you insane? Lara is the one you’re supposed to win over, not me!”

“That’s what I thought, too, but it wouldn’t have been fair to her. I still went to meet her and apologise for ghosting her though, she isn’t the one I want.”

“Jake, I don’t understand.”

“Can I come in?”

Without replying to him, you step aside and let him in. Jake takes his damped shoes off before walking to the kitchen entrance.

“I’m gonna get you a towel, I don’t want you to be sick. Make yourself a coffee to warm up.”

Whilst you grab a clean towel, you try to understand what’s happening. You didn’t expect to see him, especially with flowers. The second you go back to him, Jake puts his freshly poured cup down and takes the towel while handing you the bouquet once more and this time, you accept it. Without holding yourself back, you smell the flowers and tenderly look at them; you love them. Jake got it right. He’s proud of himself when he sees the soft smile on your face.

“They’re beautiful, Jake, but why?”

“Like I said, I remember. I remember what you told me during prom.” he specifies whilst drying his face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you lie, avoiding his eyes.

“I think you do. You told me you had feelings for me.”

You stare at Jake, confused. You were convinced he had no memory of that moment. In one second, your cheeks heat and you don't know what to do with yourself.

“I pretended to not remember because I didn’t know how to react and I’m sorry.” Jake admits, putting down the towel and taking a sip of his coffee.

“Don’t apologise, you saved me from a moment that would have haunted me until I die like this moment will.”

“I shouldn’t have ignored you.” he affirms, putting down his cup on the table. “You confessed something very important to me and by ignoring you, I broke your heart and mine in the process. I didn’t know it at the time but I also had feelings for you. I realised it too late, actually when you met dickhead number 1.”

“You mean Josh?” you ask, laughing.

“That’s what I said. Anyway,” Jake resumes getting closer to you, “I should have talked to you and not leave you in the dark. Your friendship means a lot to me and that night, I didn’t act as a good friend. Even if I hadn't had feelings for you, I should’ve said something and not let you deal with your broken heart alone. I’m sorry I broke your heart that night and if it’s not too late, I want to pull it back together. I never stopped having feelings for you. I spent years ignoring my feelings and every time I wanted to confess them, you were with someone else and now, it’s the right time. I want you, not an other girl, for worse or for better.”

“What about Lara? I thought you liked her.” you ask, trying not to get your hopes up.

“She’s nice but she’ll never make me feel what I feel with you. I would have never been honest with her if I had been with her. That’s why I never got in a serious relationship actually, you were always on my mind and I didn’t want another girl there. I wanted to try with Lara because I thought I had missed my chance with you so I wanted to move on, yet when you told me you and Scott were over yesterday, I knew you’d always be in my heart. That’s why I preferred to apologise to Lara without getting into a relationship with her. I could have never committed to her because I want to do it with you. I don’t know if you still have feelings for me and if you do, you’re probably hesitant considering my history and I get it though, I mean it when I say I want to commit to you.” he insists, looking you right in the eyes. “I’m not saying I’ll be perfect right away but you can be sure I’ll do everything to be. I know it’s gonna take some time for you to trust me but I will, forever and ever. I care about you, no, I love you and I want to do better for you. For once, I wanna be the good boyfriend and more particularly the man you deserve,” Jake states, putting his hand on your cheek, “the one who will buy you flowers at any occasion, the one who won’t abandon you, the one you’ll never get stuck in a routine with, the one who will make you happy, make you feel loved and who will cherish you until his dying breath.”

At the end of his speech, you’re at a loss for words. You didn’t expect a confession of love from him and you never thought Jake was capable of saying such beautiful things or even being serious about a relationship. Not knowing what to reply, you put your free hand on Jake’s cheek and kiss him with passion. He doesn’t waste a second to kiss you back. Among all the kisses he’s shared, this one is officially his favourite, and he hopes he’ll relive it every day of his life. His heart is beating fast in his chest while he brings you closer to him. As soon as you break the kiss, you look at Jake with eyes full of love.

“I never stopped loving you, Jake.”

Jake smiles as he hears your confession. He was very nervous when he came to your place. He was afraid he’d ruin everything, and he’s relieved to know he was wrong.

“Wow, your advice works wonders,” he suddenly says with a sarcastic tone. “Well, I improved your speech a bit but I approve of it. You really should get paid for your love advice.”

“I told you that’s how it works.” you affirm as if it was obvious. “That’s how you got the girl.”

“That’s how I got my girl.”

When you hear the emphasis on the pronoun, you avoid his gaze for a second, flustered. You clear your throat before speaking again.

“You should take me to a first date then.”

“Oh, I will. Any advice as to what to do on a first date? I have to impress this girl who means a lot to me.”

You both laugh then you bring Jake close to you again before pressing your lips on him, the second kiss even better than the first one.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Lucky - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : Bradley comes home from a six months deployment and you two cannot stay away from each other.

Warnings : Minors please do not interact as this one shot has more sexual themes than usual, though there is no smut, fluff, marriage proposal, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.9k

French version

Song inspiration : So High School by Taylor Swift

“Class dismissed.” you state to your students who barely hide their joy. “Don’t forget your paper on Aristotle and Nicomachean Ethics for next Friday. You can send it by email or hand it to me in class, I don’t care, just don’t be late.”

You close your computer and start putting your stuff in one of your bags while saying goodbye to the students who are leaving the room. You answer a few questions before turning off everything and leaving the University as you’re finally on weekend.

You go to the parking lot for the professors while checking your phone. You hoped you’d found a text from Bradley who has been on deployment for the past six months but nothing. You sigh and hope he’ll call you tonight. You know he should come home soon yet you can’t wait to see him again, you miss him.

Once you arrive at your car, you open the back door and put your two bags on the seat. Focused on what you’re doing, you’re not aware of your surroundings until you hear a voice behind you.

“Excuse me, Miss, I have a question about today’s class-”

“Bradley!” you exclaim with a big smile while you turn to face him.

Without wasting a second, you run to him and jump in his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and hiding your face in the crook of his neck. Bradley catches you easily and holds you tight while smelling your perfume that he missed so much. You look up and passionately kiss Bradley. You run your hands through his hair, needing to make sure he’s really there. Bradley kisses you back with as much energy. 

“Get a room, you’re on University grounds!” 

Your colleague and friend’s voice Savannah interrupts your kiss. You look at her and see her teasing expression on her face. Bradley puts you down and takes your hand in his.

“Thank God, you’re finally back, she’s gonna leave me alone now.”

“Don’t worry about this, I’ll keep her busy.” Bradley replies to your colleagues with eyes full of innuendos.

“I wasn’t asking for all the details. See you Monday.” she laughs before leaving.

“See you Monday.” you say before turning back to Bradley. “I thought you were coming back in two days.”

“We finished early and I wanted to surprise you.” he says while pecking your lips.

“How did you come here?” you ask as you stare at his white and blue Hawaiian shirt, your favorite.

“Jake dropped me off. Savannah told me at what time you finished your day so I patiently waited for you, almost patiently.” 

“She knew?”

“How was I supposed to surprise you without an accomplice?” Bradley rhetorically questions with a smile.

“You’re lucky I love these kinds of surprises. Oh, no! There is nothing in the fridge.” you suddenly exclaim. “I wanted to go grocery shopping tomorrow so I could make your favorite meal. You’re messing all my plans up with your surprises!”

“We’ll eat something at the Hard Deck, I told the Squad we’ll be there tonight.” he reassures you while helping you to get in the driver side of the car.

“Oh, I thought we’d spend the night alone.” you say once Bradley is in the passenger seat.

“Don’t you worry,” he starts as he kisses your cheek, “I intend on spending the whole day with you in bed tomorrow, but first we have to be social. After that, you can do whatever you want to me.” he smoothly whispers in your ear.

“You pervert!” you yell, faking being offended and gently hitting his shoulder. “I wasn’t thinking about that. Okay, maybe I was but still!” you admit after he gave you a look. “I missed my boyfriend and I wanted to stay in his arms in an innocent way.”

“Innocent, sure, I believe you.”

Following his sentence, you roll your eyes but laugh nonetheless. Bradley turns on the radio while you drive out of the parking lot. He takes your right hand in his as the first notes of Great Balls Of Fire comes out of the car radio. Bradley doesn’t need to hear more to start singing and you quickly follow his lead. 

And at the Hard Deck, most of the people present sing along with Bradley while he’s at the piano. You can’t help but tenderly look at him as he’s being the life of the party. How you missed watching him having fun at the piano surrounded by his friends! You couldn’t have dreamed of a better way to start the weekend. 

After he made the whole Hard Deck dance and sing, you and the Squad go play darts while Jake puts some music on. Javy is the first one to play, he’s close to the bullseye. With a cocky look, Jake goes after him and does better than Javy. Meanwhile, you talk with Natasha and Bob while Bradley has his arm around your shoulders. He only leaves your side when it’s his turn. After Bradley, Reuben is next then, they inform you you have to play. At first, you refuse, knowing you suck at darts and yet, you end up accepting. Without any surprise, you shoot far from the bullseye. 

You all keep playing and you keep missing the bullseye. Annoyed, you ask Bradley to help you which he happily does. You put yourself in front of the target, Bradley behind you as he takes your hand in which you hold the dart and raises it while giving you indications in your ear.

“You know,” Jake starts, “if you wanted advice from a professional, you should have asked me, not birdbrain.”

“She just wants an excuse to be close to Rooster.” Coyote says with a teasing tone.

“My offer stays the same, I’m a better company.”

“Shut up, Bagman.”

Jake laughs at Bradley’s sentence, glad to know he got under his skin. Bradley stops paying attention to Jake and focuses on your body against his. Bradley takes advantage of this moment to put his free hand on your hips while guiding you, then you throw the dart and for the first time of the evening, you’re close to the bullseye. You let go of a happy scream before turning around and kissing Braldey to thank him.

“We got it, you’re in love, can we continue the game?”

You don’t pick up Hangman’s remark and go back to Natasha and Bob. Finally, you stop playing as you want to lose this victory so you keep talking to your two friends. When Bradley leaves you alone one more time to play, you go to the bathroom.

Once you leave the stall, you wash your hands and when you look up to the mirror, you’re startled as you find Bradley behind you.

“You idiot, you scared me!”

“I was looking for you.”

“I went to pee, is it illegal?” you joke.

After drying your hands, you turn around to face your boyfriend; without wasting another second, he walks to you and puts his hands on your hips before pressing his lips on yours, you quickly respond to his kiss. Bradley gets you closer to him while you wrap your arms around his neck. Bradley’s tongue finds its way to yours and for a moment, you forget where you are. Bradley puts you next to the sink while his lips go from your mouth to your neck and you wrap your legs around his waist; you try to stifle your moan against Bradley’s shoulder.

“Bradley, we should stop.” you say without any conviction. “The others are just outside the door,” you add as he kisses your lips before going back to your neck again, “and anyone could walk in.”

“As if you want me to stop.”

“Of course, I don’t want you to stop.”

“I don’t see the problem, then. I can be quick.” Bradley affirms with a cocky smile.

His kisses go from your neck to your collarbone while his hand leaves your hip and slowly goes down to your thigh. Reluctantly, you take his hand and Bradley looks up.

“Earlier you were disappointed we wouldn’t be alone and now you’re stopping me. I’m confused.” he exclaims, laughing and frustrated. 

“We haven’t seen each other in six months, we are not having a quickie in the Hard Deck’s bathrooms.”

“What do you want me to do? I want you.”

“Take me to bed or lose me forever, Bradley Bradshaw.”

“No need to tell me twice. I’m closing our tab, go grab your purse.”

With a big smile on your face, you leave the bathroom and go find your friend to grab your stuff.

“What are you doing?” Natasha asks. 

“Braldey is tired, we’re heading home.”

“Tired, Bradshaw?” Natasha laughs as soon as she sees him coming and taking your hand.

“Freaking tired, yeah. See you guys.” He says while he leads you to the exit.

“Use protection, I’m too young to be a godfather!”

Bradley gives Jake the finger following his sentence while you leave the Hard Deck, laughing like two teenagers. It is safe to say, it’s the first time you’ve gone home from the bar that fast.

After spending a whole day on your own at your house, you decided it was time to be social again. After all, Natasha is leaving for a deployment in a week so you want to make the most of it while everyone is here. 

Sunday afternoon, you’re all at the beach. Guys are playing dogfight beach football while you and Natasha are laying on your towels, sunbathing and enjoying the view; and by enjoying the view, it means you are staring at your shirtless boyfriend as he throws the ball at his friends.

“Please, stop it.” Natasha sighs.

“What?”

“You may have your sunglasses on but I can still tell your eyefucking Rooster.”

“Is it a crime to check out my boyfriend?”

“When you’re next to your single friend, yes.”

“I’ll try to stop, I can’t promise you anything, though.”

“You’re disgustingly cute together.” she states before marking a pause. “I’m glad Bradley found you.” your friend sincerely affirms.

“I’m lucky I found him.”

“You know, before meeting you, Bradley didn’t really believe in love. I mean, he believed in it, just not for him. He’s always idealised his parents and he thought what they had was rare so he never worked hard on his relationships. Why be in a relationship if he can never have what they had? Then, he met you and everything changed. I had never seen him this happy before.”

“He never told me that.” you say with a bittersweet smile. “I had never been this happy before him either, you know. I’m not saying I wasn’t happy in my past relationships, I mean the ones that went well, but they have nothing to do with what I have with Bradley. With him, it’s easy, full of passion and love.” you explain, briefly looking at Rooster. “Every time I look at him, I just feel… so high school, as if I was a teenager having a crush for the first time, though I never experienced that, I had my first boyfriend at nineteen. I know, it’s stupid, we’re in our thirties, we’re not kids anymore but I never thought I could find a relationship that pure. For the first time, imagining a future with someone is simple. No matter which one it is, married or not, kids or not, as long as we’re together, I’m okay with it.”

“We like to tease you a lot, but we genuinely hope you two will last.” Natasha smiles before looking ahead of her. “Well, speaking of the devil, your prince charming is coming.”

Bradley trots around to you, his sunglasses on and his body glowing in sweat. The minute he’s in front of you, Bradley gets down and pecks your lips. He sits on the sand, next to your legs. 

“So, did you win?” you ask him.

“Look at Hangman and you’ll have your answer.”

Knowing Jake wasn’t in his team and that you can hear the blond man screaming they cheated, you easily understand Bradley’s team won.

“I deserve a hug.” Bradley states, getting closer to you.

In an instant, you put your hand against his torso and push him away.

“No way, you’re sweating too much. Go for a swim and then come back.”

“Alright, Ma’am.”

Without a warning, Bradley picks you up and runs to the water while you protest. You ask him to put you down while you both get in the ocean. You hold onto him as best as you can, ignoring Bradley’s sweat you criticised a few seconds earlier. 

“I don’t want to wet my hair.” you inform, hoping he’ll leave you alone.

“I’ll do your hair routine, promise.”

“I don’t care, you better not drop me.” you jokingly threaten.

At first, Bradley pretends he’s letting you go before diving in the water with you. The second you get your head out of the water, you splash Bradley, pretending to be mad.

“War is on, Bradshaw.”

While you keep laughing, you try to get your revenge by making Bradley fall in the water. In the end, you spend the remainder of the afternoon swimming and bickering. As promised, in the evening, Bradley does your full hair routine to make amends.

During the week, when you have some free time, you stay with Bradley at your place to watch American Pie. You have your back against his torso as you both lay on the couch. This movie which is more of an erotic comedy than a romantic one actually means a lot for you two. You shared your first kiss while watching the first American Pie movie. 

Before that moment, you had gone on two dates, however none of you had made the first move yet. For your third date, you invited Bradley at your old apartment and you decided to watch this movie as you hadn’t seen him in a few years. On the couch, you were close but not too much. As John was using the word ‘MILF’ to describe Stifler’s mom on screen, you made a joke which made Bradley laugh and without waiting any longer, he kissed you. 

That was three years ago and to this day, it’s a memory you still cherish; so it’s no surprise American Pie became your movie. As you get closer to the iconic scene with John, Bradley holds you tighter to him before turning the volume down a little bit, catching your attention.

“I still remember how nervous I was before kissing you. I think I never was that anxious to kiss a girl before.”

“Was I that scary?” you joke.

“You were too good for me, still are. I can’t believe you want me. You know, I also remember the first time I saw you.”

“When I was at the Hard Deck with Savannah.” you state, fondly thinking back to that moment.

“No, at the beach.” Bradley corrects, making your frown.

“What are you talking about? We met at the Hard Deck on a Friday night. I remember it perfectly.”

“We talked for the first time at the Hard Deck, but I saw you for the first time before that.”

“I’d remember if we had met before.”

“It was about two weeks before that night at the Hard Deck.” he explains with a smile. “You were at the beach, reading Symposium by Plato in Ancient Greek. You caught my attention instantly. It’s not everyday you find someone reading in Greek, especially Ancient Greek. At one point, you looked up, you probably were waiting for Savannah and as soon as I saw your face, I was caught off guard, I had never seen someone that beautiful before. I wanted to talk to you but I got a call from TopGun to deal with some paperwork and when I came back, you weren’t there anymore so as soon as I saw you again at the Hard Deck, I didn’t waste another second.”

“You never told me that.”

“I was waiting for the right moment.”

“What do you mean?” you ask as Bradley stands up from the couch and invites you to do the same. “What are you doing?”

“The first time I saw you, I knew I had to talk to you,” Bradley nervously starts, “And like I just told you, I had missed my chance the first time and I got lucky because I saw you a second time and that’s when I finally met you. At that moment, I didn’t know how much you’d matter to me, I knew one thing, though, I had to get to know you and that’s what I did. And I never regretted this once. We’ve been together for three years and I want more.” he says while putting one knee down and taking a jewellery box out of his pocket. “So, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“My God, yes! Of course, I want to be your wife.” you exclaim, throwing yourself in his arms and kissing him.

The second you break the kiss, Bradley starts breathing normally again and he takes the ring out of the box before putting it on your finger. As you look at the ring more carefully, you recognize it. You saw it in several pictures, it’s his mom’s. Bradley didn’t hesitate a second before choosing this ring to propose. He always told himself if he was lucky enough to find half of the love his parents had, then he’d use his mom’s ring. And when you came into his life, you proved to him how lucky he was because with you, he found a love as extraordinary as Nick and Carol’s, if not more.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Here For You - Emily Prentiss

Masterlist

Summary : Emily claims she doing fine after everything she's been through but you know the truth and you let her know you're here for her.

Warnings : based on 7x12, mention of Doyle and Emily dying, Emily struggling, angst, hurt/comfort.

Word count : 1.2k

French version

Song inspiration : Let Me by Jade LeMac

Comfortably in Morpheus’ arms, you turn around and unconsciously start searching for Emily’s arms without any success. With difficulty, you open one eye and find an empty spot next to you, lightly illuminated by the corridor light. Not knowing where your girlfriend is, you quickly get out of bed. Since she came back from the dead, Emily acts differently which is understandable, but it also means you’re even more stressed than before. Emily has always been secretive, now it’s just worse. You can’t decipher her anymore and you fear the worst. You trot around, following the light and you find Emily in the kitchen, her back facing you. You hear sniffing as soon as you call her name.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Emily says, faking a smile.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I was just thirsty.”

“Did you have another nightmare?” you ask her, worried.

“No, it’s been two weeks since my last one as you know.”

“You know, you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you still have some, especially after what you’ve been through.”

“Please, don’t start,” she sharply retorts. “I’m already seeing my therapist tomorrow, it’s enough… Sorry, I didn’t mean to be harsh.” She then adds with a softer tone.

“It’s okay.”

“I was just thirsty.” Emily affirms, putting her glass in the sink though you can see right through her. “I’m fine, I swear. Let’s go to sleep.”

Without replying, you take her hand she’s holding out and you walk back to your shared room. As you lay in bed, Emily gets closer to you and puts her head on your chest. It’s a habit she has had since she came back. Emily needs to hear your heartbeats to make sure she isn’t alone. Emily’s muscles relax when you start stroking her hair. The second Emily’s head gets heavier, you finally allow yourself to fall asleep, holding her close to you as if she’d disappear in the next second.

Yet, this is what happens the next morning. Emily left earlier because she has therapy before going on a case. You sigh, noticing her absence, though you know it’s for the best. It reassures you to know Emily is talking to a professional after everything that’s happened, you just wished she would have said goodbye before leaving.

You try to regain control of your emotions during work. You have to take care of a class of thirty seven-year-old students, you have to be focused. However, it doesn’t mean you don’t check your phone at every occasion, hoping to see a text from Emily.

It’s at the end of the day, after you finished eating, that your girlfriend finally calls you and without wasting a second, you pick up the phone. 

“Hey, Em’, how are you? Is the case complicated?”

“Always a bit at the beginning, but we have some leads. What about you? How was your day?”

“Oh, you know, I had to explain the same thing fifteen times, a kid sneezed on my sweatshirt and another one said I was pretty even if I was old. Nothing new.” you say lightly while Emily laughs.

“Another eventful day.”

“How did it go with your therapist?”

“She said everything was alright, she cleared me for work.” she informs you after taking a breath.

“Good. I mean, if it’s the truth.” you add and you can feel Emily rolling her eyes. “I know you, Em’, I know how you struggle to admit it to me when you have a nightmare so I guess it’s harder for you to tell your therapist.”

“It doesn’t affect my job, even Hotch said so.”

“I’m not saying otherwise…” you start carefully, “Look, I know I’d never be able to understand what you went through but I know one doesn't get over this that quickly. You’re allowed to not be okay, to struggle to move on.”

“I’m getting my life back.” she retorts.

“I know and I’m not saying you don’t, however Emily, you only worry about how Derek, Penelope, Spencer and everyone else around you feels since you came back but you don’t worry about the most important person. You. And I’m here for you, to support you. I’m not saying I’ll always have the right words, nonetheless I’ll do my best. You can come to me when you’re not okay.”

“I’m okay.” Emily repeats with a neutral tone.

“Your shrink might believe you when you say it but I know the truth. Emily, stop pushing away the people who love you. Stop pushing me away. You don’t have to go through this alone, especially when you can’t ignore what happened. Let me be here for you.”

Emily stays silent, only her breathing breaks the silence. You hear another voice coming from her end though can’t make out what they’re saying then Emily clears her throat.

“I have to go. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Emily hangs up and you sigh with tears in your eyes. You don’t know if what you said will make Emily react, you hope it will. You can’t handle this situation anymore. You know she needs support but how can you do it when she doesn’t ask for it? You don’t like this feeling of powerlessness. You wish you could take all of her scars so she could finally live freely. 

Throughout the case, Emily keeps her distance. She only sends you a text once a day to say she loves you, a habit you’ve had since the beginning of your relationship. Considering her risky job, you never stay a day without saying it to each other, more particularly since Doyle happened. However, when you reply to her message and you try to create a conversation, she quickly cuts it off. 

The more the days go by and the more worried you are for Emily. Something is wrong, you’re sure about it. You wish you could check on her, however you don’t want to be too overbearing. If you keep insisting you might do the opposite of what you want by creating an anxious atmosphere for Emily; therefore, you try to stay at a good distance, close enough to support her but far enough so she doesn’t push you away. 

As a way to distract yourself, you put all your energy on your work, redoing your lessons, correcting exercises. It only works for so long, your mind quickly finds a way to make you think about Emily.

One evening, about a week after Emily left, you’re at the kitchen table, working and eating when you hear the door opening and a bag loudly falling on the ground. Without waiting, you put down your fork and go toward the entrance rapidly. There, you find Emily with sad eyes. You’re about to talk though she beats you to it.

“I’m not okay.” she admits with a trembling voice.

And in a split second, she burst into tears. You run to her and hold her against you, trying to soothe her. You can tell her legs aren’t supporting her anymore, so you make Emily sit down on the floor while keeping her close. You tenderly stroke her hair and whisper sweet nothings. Emily’s tears run down her cheeks more and more while instinctively she puts her ear against your chest and listens to your heartbeats. In your arms, Emily finally allows herself to let go of all her emotions and to face all the pain she went through. You both know it’ll take time for Emily to heal but you’ll make sure to be here for her and to support her every step of the way.

Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

My Little Sister Needs Me - Dean Winchester

Drabble Masterlist

Summary : You just got your first period, thankfully your brother is here to help you.

Warnings : reader is 13 and knows nothing about period, Dean is 16, Sam is 12, mention of period, fear of being cursed, implied they don't have a lot of money.

Word count : 679

French version

“You’re not ready to leave for school yet, Y/N? You’re gonna be late to class,” your brother, Dean, chastises

“My stomach hurts,” you inform him while holding your lower abdomen. 

“That’s just an excuse to skip class. I know the techniques.”

Contrary to what Dean is saying, you’re not lying. You’ve been in pain for the past four hours. You’ve been awake before everybody else because of the discomfort. You thought the pain would eventually leave but it didn't, it just grew stronger. 

“I’m really in pain, Dean.”

“You’re probably just hungry. Wake up, breakfast is ready and Sam has almost finished getting ready.”

Dean doesn’t pay attention to your loud sigh while he packs his school bag. You finally decide to leave your bed. As you’re stretching in front of your bed, you notice a red spot on the mattress. You don’t understand where the blood can come from, though as you look down on your body, you realise the blood is coming from you. You feel the panic coming suddenly. Your eyes get teary before you turn around to your big brother.

“Dean! I’m bleeding!” you shout, pointing at the bed.

Fear makes its way on his face when he hears you before he runs to you. He takes a look at the stain before sighing with relief. Though, you’re still terrified and you start trying to guess what could be the cause of this blood.

“Do you think a demon attacked me last night? Or another monster? Am I gonna die? Is that why my stomach hurts? I’m slowly dying.”

“Hey, Y/N/N, you’re alright!” he assures you as he puts his hands on your shoulders. “Everything’s alright. You’re not gonna die and it’s not a creature. It’s just your period,” Dean states, making you frown.

“My periods?”

“Seeing your reaction, I guess you didn't have the science lesson on it,” he guesses and you shake your head. “Ok, lemme explain to you if you want to. To make it short, your periods mean you’re growing. You’re going through puberty.”

“I’m gonna have a lot of zits?” you scream, desperate.

“Don’t worry, we’ve all been through this.”

“And for how long am I gonna bleed? I must have been bleeding for the past four hours.”

“About a week. Then you’ll be free for a month,” he informs you yet, you’re still lost.

“What do you mean?”

“Your periods last a week every month till you’re fifty.”

“Fifty?!” you cry. “But that's forever! I’m gonna stain my clothes and beds because of that damn puberty?! It’s a nightmare.”

“That’s why pads and tampons exist, to avoid this situation.”

“But what if they don’t work? What if I bleed in class? Everyone will make fun of me.”

“Well, you hit-,” he starts before correcting himself, “You tell them they’re dumb. Periods are natural. You shouldn’t be ashamed of them, alright?” Dean assures you, however you still feel shameful about it, “Listen, you’re not gonna go to school today. I’m accompanying Sam and then I’ll come back and we’ll make sure everything is okay, what do you say about that?” he proposes, making you feel a little bit better.

“But you have school, too.”

“Don’t worry about me. My little sister needs me so I don’t care about school. While Sam finishes getting ready, I’m gonna go to the store nearby and buy you everything you need and painkillers. Do you want any snacks?”

“I thought we didn’t have a lot of money left till dad came back,” you say, remembering what Dean said the day before.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m the one in charge of the budget. So, do you want anything?”

“I’d like some Reese’s, please.”

“Perfect. I’m leaving. Meanwhile, get some rest on my bed. I’ll be quick, promise.”

“Thanks Dean.”

“Don’t mention it. It’ll be okay.”

Dean hugs you one last time before kissing your temple. You watch him leave while you lay down, waiting for your big brother to come back and take care of you.

Drabble Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

New Beginnings - Emily Prentiss

Masterlist

Summary : Emily discovers Andrew Mendoza, her boyfriend, wants to propose and as she thinks back to what you told her when you broke up years ago, she realises why she's so reluctant at the idea of marrying a man.

Warnings : set between s15 and s16, comphet, struggling with sexuality, lesbian Emily Prentiss, reader is queer but no label is used, mention of Emily's abortion and catholic guilt about it and her sexuality, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.7k

French version

Song inspiration : Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan

Emily blankly stares at the ceiling, her brain working fast and slow at the same time. She thinks back on her life, more specifically her relationships and the more she thinks about it, the more she notices a similarity in all of them.

Andrew Mendoza’s arm wraps itself around her waist, interrupting her train of thoughts. Emily’s body stiffens while she turns her head and looks at his sleeping face. She can’t believe she didn’t do anything to stop herself from getting into this situation. Feeling like she’s suffocating, Emily gets out of Andrew’s grip and goes to the bathroom without making any sound. The door closed, Emily drinks some water and then wets her face before putting her hands on both sides of the sink and looking at her reflection in the mirror. While she’s gazing at herself, Emily reminisces about the discovery she did earlier in the day.

As she was searching for one of her sweaters, she went through the entire closet where she found a ring in a red box hidden among her boyfriend’s socks. Emily panicked the second she saw the jewel, all at once she put it back in its place. Since then, she can’t stop thinking about what this ring means; Andrew plans on proposing to her nonetheless. When? She doesn’t know, she can’t stay in this relationship. Her head in her hands, she’s looking for a way to announce the awful news to Andrew. While she thinks about what she could say, a sentence and a voice she hadn’t thought about for a few decades make their way to her mind: “if you stay in denial, you’ll find yourself in a relationship you won’t want and one night, you’ll wake up in panic, wondering why you were so adamant on being someone you’re not.” You had said this to her when you were both fifteen.

You and Emily had become friends as soon as she first arrived in your school in Rome. You were inseparable and you shared your deepest secrets; one of them being you were questioning your sexuality which brought you closer. For the first time in your life, you felt understood. At first, it was platonic. From time to time, you were talking about how you were feeling, your interrogations and depending on the day, you’d reassure one another.

However, one night when Emily had invited you over, your relationship shifted. You kissed, your first kiss with someone from the same gender. At first, it was just to try, to be sure you liked girls, then, after a few more tries, you confessed to Emily your kisses meant a lot to you. Consequently, you had accepted to discover this new side of your relationship. There wasn’t a label on it, though you would kiss whenever you could, get jealous and do everything together. You were just experimenting. Yet, you were more in it than Emily. You wanted more, but she was always reluctant. Understanding perfectly your best friend, you hadn’t insisted on being official even if you would have wanted to. You were just two best friends who kissed. For you, it was reason enough to not meet other people, for Emily, it was really not the same.

One day, while you were going to school, you found her kissing John Cooley, a friend you had in common. Your heart had shattered into a billion pieces for the first time in your life. Sure, you were still discovering who you were, nevertheless you weren’t expecting her to kiss someone else, let alone a guy. Looking at her from afar, you had seen her smile, though you knew she was faking it. You were so hurt you ignored Emily for a whole week. Noticing your change, Emily took you aside during break, away from all the ears.

“What’s wrong? Why are you avoiding me?” Emily asked you.

“When were you gonna tell me about you and John?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she denied, looking away.

“Sure, you don’t,” you laughed humorless. “I saw you kissing him last week. I can’t believe you did this to me.”

“We never agreed on being together.”

“Because you never wanted to label it! And I’m not mad at you for that, I just didn’t think you’d kiss other people. I knew I should have put an end to this a long time ago,” you sighed, your heart beating loudly in your chest. “So, is he your boyfriend?”

“If you absolutely want to know, yes, he is. Besides, me and you, it was more to experience things. It was never love.”

“Wow, I can’t believe it. Let’s see how it lasts between you two.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re wasting your time with him,” you replied, taking a step forward. “We both know you don’t like guys.”

“I can like boys and girls!”

“Sure you can, but you said it yourself several times, you’re not sure you love guys and you feel like you’re searching for their validation. I think that says a lot.”

“You don’t know how I feel. You’re not in my head,” Emily retorted, defensive.

“True, though I know you well enough. You can try to convince yourself all you want, it’s not gonna change who you are. But you know what? It’s not my problem. You took me for a fool for too long, I’m done, so go ahead, be with him,” you stated, tearing up. “Keep kissing him, go kiss other guys even, if it can make you feel better but if you stay in denial, you’ll find yourself in a relationship you won’t want and one night, you’ll wake up in panic, wondering why you were so adamant on being someone you’re not. And even if I don’t wish you an unfulfilling relationship, I will tell you ‘I told you so’. You’ll see. You can deny all you want, but we know the truth, so good luck, Emily.”

On those words, you walked away, leaving Emily alone with her denial, yet also her heartache. She might have been too proud to admit it, but losing you hurt her a lot purely and simply because she hadn’t just lost a best friend.

The following morning, Emily is exhausted. She only slept two hours as her dark circles under her eyes prove it. At the crack of dawn, Emily leaves the apartment she shares with Mendoza, leaving him alone, and goes to a café near the BAU headquarters. She orders a black coffee, hoping it’ll keep her awake. Her order ready, Emily is about to walk out from the place when a familiar face catches her attention. She does a double take, staring at the person sitting at a table away from her and once she’s sure she’s not mistaken, she walks towards them. At the table, Emily says your name out loud, making you look up. A surprise expression takes place on your face, realising who is in front of you.

“Emily Prentiss! What a surprise!” you exclaim with a big smile. “How long has it been? You know what, don’t tell me, I don’t want to feel old. I already struggle hiding my gray hair.”

“We're the same on this,” she laughs. “I didn’t know you were in D.C..”

“I moved here three months ago. What about you? You’ve been here for a long time? What do you do?”

“I moved about twenty years ago. I’m working for the FBI, at the Behavioral Analysis Unit, more specifically.”

“Wow, that’s something! It doesn’t surprise me, you’ve always been so intelligent,” you genuinely say and Emily’s cheeks start to heat up.

“What about you? Are you an English teacher, like you wanted?”

“Yes, I am. I work in a high school not too far from here. There’s a good team and the students are majorly nice.”

“That’s great. Sorry, one second,” Emily replies when her phone rings. She takes it and checks her notification. “I gotta go, duty calls, but I’m so happy I saw you. If you’re up for it, we could meet again? To make up for the lost time.”

“I’d love that,” you state before writing your number on a piece of paper. “Call me when you’re free.”

“I will. See you, then.”

“See you,” you say, waving at her.

Emily leaves the café, beaming in a way she didn’t expect to today. On the way to the BAU, Emily reminisces about your relationship and the cute moments, whether they’re from after or before your first kiss. However, the happy feeling stops once she remembers your last fight. She’s always regretted the way things ended between you two. She wishes she could have fixed things when you were still going to the same high school, however she wasn’t brave enough to do so. Now that she’s found you again, maybe it’s time to make amends? She doesn’t know if you’ll accept her apology but she has hope. After all, you didn’t push her away when she came to talk. And if you still hold a grudge, Emily will do everything to change that. She wants to make things better between you two, like she should have.

The following weeks, Emily spends them as much as she can at work - which isn’t complicated - so she can avoid Andrew. She knows she has to break up with him, nevertheless she doesn’t know how to do it. Though she can’t wait too long, Andrew might propose shortly; she has to end the relationship before it’s too late. Consequently, Emily decides it’s time to stop running away from the problem. She comes home earlier than expected as she thinks about what to say. The second she walks through the door, she finds Andrew sitting on the couch. She was hoping she’d have more time. Emily puts her bag down, next to the front door and walks towards him; she sits down beside him, though she keeps a small distance. Right away, Andrew notices something is wrong, Emily didn’t greet him with a kiss to say hello. Uncomfortable, Emily wets her lips before speaking.

“I found the ring,” she confesses, point blank. “It was an accident, I was looking for my sweater and I found it.”

“Oh, and judging by your face, you’re not excited about it,” Andrew says, embarrassed. 

“I spent most of my life hiding who I am and it’s time to stop. It’s better to stop now before our relationship passes this milestone,” Emily announces softly. “You’re a good man and you deserve better, a woman who will genuinely love you.”

“At least, you did it before I got down on one knee,” he nervously laughs. “I get it, Emily.”

“I’m sorry, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Emily and Andrew stay silent for a few seconds, the tension being heavy. Emily doesn’t know what to do to make the situation less difficult. Andrew ends up clearing his throat and standing up.

“I’m going to spend the night at a friend’s, I need to be alone if you don’t mind.”

“Of course.”

Andrew quickly packs a bag before getting out of the apartment. Hearing the door closing, Emily sighs in relief. Not being with Andrew anymore is like a weight being lifted off her shoulders, a weight she didn’t know was crushing her. Of course, she feels bad about breaking Andrew’s heart but it was the right thing to do and this feeling of being relieved is the proof of it. Emily can finally be free to be who she is. From now on, she won’t hide herself, she makes that promise to herself.

You end up meeting Emily two months later. Cases kept her occupied while final exams did the same to you. She told you to meet at a bar halfway between your two apartments. You arrived first so you settle down at a table and check your phone, waiting for her. Emily comes ten minutes later. As soon as she’s in front of you, you notice her hair is now gray. You find her even more beautiful.

“You changed your hair. I love it,” you remark with joy.

“Yeah, I was tired of dying it so I decided to accept my gray hair,” she says, nervously running a hand through it.

“You did the right thing. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

Before you begin to talk, a waiter comes to take your order then leaves. Once you’re alone, Emily tells you about when she moved to D.C. and you tell her about how you ended in the same city when the waiter comes back with your two glasses of red wine. The conversation flows naturally, as if you had never stopped talking, as if Emily hadn’t broken your heart years ago.

At one point, the infamous question about relationships comes. You simply answer by saying you’re single. You quickly talk about your last lover before asking her the same question.

“I noticed you don’t have a ring on your finger so either you’re like me and you haven’t found the perfect match or you divorced recently,” you suggest and Emily takes a large sip of her wine, trying to hide her uneasiness. 

“Well, I could have been engaged but I broke up two months ago,” she starts before clearing her throat. “I wasn’t in love with… him. You were right from the beginning. Come on, you can say ‘I told you so,’ I know you’ve been waiting for this since we were fifteen,” Emily adds and your heart tightens a little in your chest. 

“I’m not gonna lie, my fifteen-year-old self would have said it with a big smile on her face, but I won’t. It pains me to know you struggled so much with your sexuality,” you say, putting your hand on her wrist for a second.

“I wasn’t as brave as you when it comes to this.”

“I was only brave because you were with me. After our…,” you begin, looking for the right word, “fight, I took a step back. I could only talk about this with you so once we stopped talking, I struggled again. I had to wait until my third year of university to fully accept myself.”

“You were still quicker than me.”

“I was, yeah. I guess your faith didn’t help either,” you say, drinking.

“You have no idea. Especially when you get pregnant as a teenager and the priest tells you you can’t go back to church if you get an abortion. If he had this opinion about abortion, I don’t want to imagine what he thought about homosexuality,” Emily informs, casually, making you frown.

“I didn’t know you had an abortion.”

“It was after our fight. Only John and Matthew knew. The fact is, in the end, it was hard. Fortunately, I’ve accepted that I'm a lesbian. Better late than never like we say.”

“True.”

“You know, I’m really sorry for the way it ended between us. You were there for me and I only pushed you away and hurt you,” Emily says before taking a deep breath. “You were my first love and I ruined everything when you were nothing but patient with me, at least until I pushed it too far. Losing you is my biggest regret.”

Hearing Emily’s apology warms your heart. You moved on years ago though you’d be lying if you said hearing those words didn’t heal something in you.

“You were my first love, too, and because of this, I was mad for years,” you admit. “It’s true what they say about your first queer breakup, it hurts like hell. But growing up, I understood why you acted the way you did so I stopped being mad.”

“It doesn’t mean I should have done what I did. I knew I’d hurt you by dating John and maybe that's what I wanted,” she says, her eyebrows knitting together. “Hurting you so you’d leave me and I could reject who I was a bit longer.”

“You’re not in denial anymore and I’m not mad so let’s move on.”

“Does that mean you’d accept me being in your life again?” Emily asks, nervous.

“I came tonight, didn’t I?” you rhetorically answer. “Of course, I want you in my life again. I missed you, Emily,” you confess, raising your glass.

Emily does the same and you clink your glasses before drinking to new beginnings. You smile to each other, glad to finally have left the past behind you. You don’t know what the future holds for both of you, whether it’s platonic or romantic again, it doesn’t matter, as long as you don’t lose each other once more, that’s all that matters.

Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Everything Was Okay - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : You and Bradley are in love, but overnight, he stops reaching out.

Warnings : angst, ghosting, sad ending, mention of Goose's death, feeling like you're not enough, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.1k

French version

Song inspiration : Forever And Always (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

In your bed, you’re straddling Bradley’s lap while you’re talking about your favorite book, Frankenstein, and its author and making big gestures to emphasise your words. You’re completely focused on your improvised essay and Bradley is focused on the passion with which you’re speaking. He looks at you with starry eyes while he tries to follow your train of thoughts as best as he can. He doesn’t stop you, allowing you to get out everything you have in mind. A smile makes its way to his face, realising how his affection for you turns a bit more into love. 

After rambling for about an hour, you breathe normally again, recovering from your passion rush.

“Long story short, you absolutely have to read this book,” you conclude, beaming brightly. “I can’t believe you’ve never read it.”

“Everybody knows the story, I don’t see the point of doing it,” Bradley replies, shrugging and you dramatically roll your eyes.

“See, that is the precise reason everybody misinterprets Frankenstein. It’s exactly why people think Frankenstein refers to the creature when it’s actually-”

“The scientist, I know. See, I listen to you.”

“And weirdly enough when I ask you to put the toilet seat down, you don’t.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, faking an innocent expression.

“Yeah, let’s say that,” you add, quickly tickling him.

In one move, Bradley takes your hands and gives you a defiant stare before throwing you over and taking the upper hand. You laugh while Bradley starts tickling you. By some miracle, you manage to grab the pillow next to your head and hit him with it. He pretends to fall by your side, playing dead. Once you’ve let your guard down, he takes you in his arms and kisses you passionately.

“I love you,” Bradley suddenly confesses.

“I love you, too.”

“You have no idea how happy I am with you. I’m yours forever and always.”

Overwhelmed by this new milestone in your relationship, you put your hands on both sides of his face before pressing your lips on his again.

A loving smile makes its way on your face as you think back to the first time you said “I love you” to Bradley while staring at your copy of Frankenstein. You sit down on your couch and put a blanket over your legs. Before starting your reading, you take your phone and check your notifications. Bradley has been in deployment for three months, he’s coming back in two weeks and you haven’t had any update from him for two days now. You know he can have busy days thus you don’t worry too much but you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t give anything to have a message from him. You open your conversation and take a picture of your book before sending it to him with a quick text. 

Text from you to Bradley, 9:50 P.M.:

Daily reminder you have to read it or we’ll break up ❤️

You put your phone next to you and peruse for the umpteenth times your favorite novel.

Day six.

You haven’t heard from him for six days. Yet, Bradley has read your texts. Sometimes he reads them and only replies a few hours later but in this case, it’s not normal. You don’t understand what’s happening. One day Bradley did not text you back for three days though it was only one time and he felt guilty about it. Of course, you had promised him you weren’t mad at him, knowing it wasn’t his fault. You understand his work keeps him busy. However, right now, your guts can’t stop whispering in your ears something is wrong. Bradley should have found a way to talk to you by now. 

You try not to imagine the worst case scenarios and search for a rational explanation. In any case, Bradley will call you tomorrow. Last time you talked, he told you which day he’d be free so, in any case, you’ll hear from him tomorrow. No need to panic... right?

He still hasn’t called.

He told you he’d call around 7:00 P.M. and it’s almost nine and still nothing. Maybe something came up? Anxious, you put on a random tv show as you wait for his call. Every ten seconds, you check your phone to make sure you haven’t missed his call or a text saying he’d ring you later. But nothing. Radio silence. In spite of yourself, you start biting your nails, something you only do when you’re too stressed. Your eyes have stopped watching the tv for twenty minutes and they’re now staring at your phone as if they could magically make a call from Bradley appear. You wait for so long that you end up falling asleep on your couch when the clock is about to strike 2:00 A.M..

You still don’t have any news from him, consequently you start worrying more and more. Maybe he’s been hurt and considering you’re only his girlfriend you didn’t get a call? You sent a text to Phoenix and she told you Bradley had to eject while training, though nothing bad happened to him hence there’s no reason why he hasn’t communicated with you. Natasha tried to reassure you by saying maybe he has some problem with his phone which would explain his silence. Though, you both know there’s something fishy going on.

His silence isn’t trivial. Something is up. You think back to the last time you saw each other and everything seems normal. You had spent the night at his place, enjoying as much as you could your boyfriend before he had to leave. You hadn’t gone out, you had only watched a movie before going to bed, well you had actually talked for a few hours before sleeping. The next morning, in spite of the fatigue, Bradley hadn’t regretted it, he had been glad he had made the most of the last moments he had with you. Therefore, everything was okay. You had done nothing wrong or at least, you don’t think you had. Was it your last call with Bradley? It hadn’t been a long one, he was tired of his day. He had only told you his assignment - at least, the nonclassified details - and then, you had explained what you had been up to. Bradley had ended up falling asleep on the phone. You had smiled as you had heard his light snores. You had hung up then sent a ‘goodnight, I love you ❤️’ text before doing just like him. This sudden change in character can’t be caused by your last call either. Everything was okay. Was it one of your last texts then? You open the conversation and read some of them. Nothing out of the ordinary, some ‘I love you’s here and there, some random discussions, others more serious ones but nothing too bad. You really don’t get it. Everything is supposed to be okay so why is he playing dead?

The more the time goes by, the more a thought makes its way to your mind: what if everything was over? What if Bradley wanted to break up? It would explain his sudden silence. If you’re right, you don’t know what you did wrong. You overanalyze it time and time again, you were happy with him just like you thought he was with you; you are about to celebrate your one year anniversary, therefore why would he end it now? It made no sense. 

You try not to be pessimistic, yet as the silence grows louder, the more complicated it is. You feel so low that you can’t even work properly. You’re making a lot of mistakes at the café, mistakes you used to do when you had begun five years ago. And the second you’re home, it’s no better. You only eat what you need, not being too hungry and you spend your nights in your bed, rereading your numerous texts, searching for how you could end up this way. How could you go from ‘I’m yours forever and always’ to having no news at all.

Two weeks have gone by since the beginning of Bradley's silence vow consequently you know he has come back and you’re set on confronting him; the sadness having officially turned into anger. He can’t just ignore you that way, promising the earth and then overnight not talking to you anymore. You want explanations and you will get them.

However, you don’t even have the time to leave your house when someone knocks on your door and the second you open it, you find Bradley with a shameful expression on his face. At least, he’s not proud of what he’s done, it’s already a start.

“Did you remember you had a girlfriend?” you sharply ask and he looks down.

“Can I come in?”

“Depends, are you going to let me do all the talking or are you gonna answer?”

“I’m gonna answer,” he says, looking up.

Despite your annoyance, you step aside and allow him to come into your house. Bradley walks to your living room while you follow him, preparing yourself for what he’s about to say.

“I know I owe you some explanations,” Bradley starts, scratching his neck.

“You totally do. You stopped replying to me, I was worried! I called Natasha and she told me that besides the time you had to eject and you didn’t get injured, nothing happened to you. So tell me!” you retort, angry and hurt. “Was it something I did? Did I say something that hurt you? Because, clearly, you’re avoiding me and I have no idea why. For me, everything was okay between us before you left, so tell me. If you wanna break up, fine, but tell me.”

“I… we should stop,” he states.

“Why? What changed?”

“It’s better that way.”

“You gotta do better than this. I just spent two awful weeks because of your cowardice.”

“You deserve better,” Bradley explains after taking a deep breath, “someone who doesn’t always have to leave for work and who isn’t risking his life.”

“And who do you think you are to take this decision for me? I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to date you. I know damn well you have to be away for a long period of time, that your job is dangerous and I’m not gonna lie, I miss you and I fret every day, and yet I still wanna be with you,” you reply, pointing your finger at him. “I made the choice to stay with you because I love you. You don’t have the right to decide we should stop because of things I accepted.”

“You’re saying this now but in the long run, you’ll change your mind.”

“And how do you know? You don’t even want to try to last longer than a year with me.”

“You can’t understand,” he insists, avoiding your gaze for a second.

“I understand you’re a coward. You create a problem on your own and to solve it you want to break up. You know what? You won. It’s over between us,” you announce, angry tears about to fall. “And not because of your work, but because you ruined everything. I have been miserable for two weeks, worrying myself sick, questioning myself, thinking I wasn’t enough and all of this so you could come back swanning in just to toss me aside like an old sock. And I won’t stand for it. Get out,” you add, coldly, showing him the exit. “Get out of my house, Bradley. I don’t wanna see you ever again.”

Heart tightening in his chest, Bradley nods and turns around without looking back, without seeing the tears streaming down your cheeks, though he hears your sob the second he closes the door. You stare at it for a few minutes, replaying the scene in your head. You thought you’d get answers, you only got more confused. You sit down on your couch, tears still making their ways on your face. 

Bradley’s face is in a similar state. He tries wiping his tears in vain. He gets in his Bronco, breathing deeply several times before driving away. He keeps telling himself he did the right thing, he shouldn’t regret it, yet his heartache only grows. He doesn’t like the way he ended things with you, he should have done better, however he didn’t have the strength to gather his courage and tell you things directly. Bradley knows he’ll never find someone like you, but he thinks it’s better that way. He thought he was ready for a serious relationship, that the ghost of his parents had left him, yet he only had to eject once and to stay at the hospital for observation for him to imagine a future where you two would have the same fate as his parents and he can’t handle it. He’d rather suffer by cowardly leaving you behind instead of leaving you to grieve his death until the end of your life.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Falling - Katherine Pierce

Masterlist

Summary : The heartless Katherine Pierce is falling in love with you but she's scared of you.

Warnings : vampire!reader, The Vampire Diaries canon violence, mention of torture, angst, happy ending, implied sex (no actual smut), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

A/N : I've finally had enough time to write another one shot! So sorry for taking this much time, it's still be complicated for a bit but I'm hoping everything will be coming back to normal very soon!

Word count : 3.4k

French version

Song inspiration : Labyrinth by Taylor Swift

Katherine’s eyes are set on your figure as you’re laying down on your stomach, the sheet covering half of your naked back. Katherine turns around in the bed and faces you, she admires every inch of your face that isn’t hidden by the pillow, from your closed eyelids to your lips, those lips she loves to kiss so much. Katherine gets lost in her contemplation and reminisces about the first time you met.

Chicago was plunged into the colours of the night while you were behind a bar which wasn’t very frequented. You were feeding when the sound of heels hitting the paved ground caught your attention.

“I wanted him to be my diner.” Katherine's voice resonated in the alley.

“Too late.”

You let go of your prey, letting the man fall before turning around and finding Katherine; your eyes were wide opened as your exclaimed:

“As I live and breathe, Katherine Pierce!”

“I see my reputation precedes me.”

“The only vampire who’s escaped from Klaus for more than 500 years, it’s something rare. Really impressive.”

“I know.” Katherine had smiled proudly.

“May I ask why the infamous Katherine is doing in Chicago?”

“I’m visiting. I’m enjoying the free time I have while Klaus is busy with the Salvatore brothers and my pathetic doppëlganger to have some fun. Do you know any interesting places to fill up?”

“You have in front of you the perfect tour guide. Three hundred years of experience under my belt.” you had told her, getting closer to her.

“Show me the way.”

You two had matched so well that Katherine had found her way into your bed the same night. 

Following your meeting, Katherine stayed one month in Chicago with you and she even ended up considering you as a friend, a friend with benefits but a friend nonetheless. In your presence, Katherine feels safe, protected, something she hadn’t known for half a millenium. Thanks to you, Katherine always has a smile on her face, you make it your personal mission to make her break a smile.

Of course, Katherine isn’t someone who stays put. She had ended up leaving town and promising you to come back. 

And that’s what she did that night. She came back to Chicago after five months away from you because she missed you - though she’d never admit out loud.

As you shift position in the bed, your arm makes its way to Katherine’s waist, bringing her closer to you and also snapping her out of her daydream; Katherine enjoys this touch more than she’d want to. She let herself go to your embrace while inhaling your body scent with her eyes closed; whilst she engraves it in her memory, Katherine feels her heart beating a bit faster, something that hadn’t happened in a while - she always makes sure it doesn’t happen. Katherine’s thoughts are all over the place, searching for an explanation nevertheless the conclusion is unanimous. With dread, Katherine thinks: 

“uh-oh, I’m falling in love.”

She can’t accept it. She has to avoid these feelings. Love never works when it knocks on her door and she doesn’t want to lose you. She cares too much about you to ruin what you have so Katherine does what she does best, she picks up her clothes and runs away, leaving you alone in your big bed. 

Three months have passed since Katherine ran away. You’ve tried calling her, she’s declined all your calls. Katherine does everything to forget about you whereas all of your thoughts are focused on her. You don’t understand what happened; sure, sometimes she can be busy with other things so she doesn’t pick up the phone but she always calls you back. She always called you back. You worry about her, fearing she might be in danger. You don’t have any other explanations in mind so you’ve started looking for her. You need to make sure she’s okay.

From one supernatural creature to the other, you slowly get information on Katherine’s whereabouts. Katherine quickly gets notice of your actions and she makes it harder for you by putting you on the wrong track. She still needs some time alone as a way to be sure her feelings for you are gone. She can’t let them take a bigger spot in her heart. Katherine is lost in the labyrinth of her mind as she wants to repress the feelings that only want to be expressed.

However, you’re stubborn and know how to get what you want, you manage to find her a month later. 

You wait for Katherine at her apartment. You don’t know when she’ll get back though, you know you won’t let her slip through your fingers, you have to talk to her.

Katherine ends up coming home in the middle of the night. As her guard is always up, she knew something was wrong before she opened the front door. Carefully, she comes in and she sees a figure laying on her bed, Katherine speeds up, ready to attack but stops the second she realises it’s you.

“You’re freaking dumb! I almost ripped your heart out!” she screams, running a hand down her face.

“Why are you ignoring me?” you blankly ask.

“You should leave.”

“No. Not until you answered me.”

“I have nothing to tell you.” Katherine affirms, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Katherine, why are you ignoring me?”

“Because you’re annoying.”

“Tell me the truth.” you order, irritating her even more.

“Oh my God! Why do you insist so much? I owe you nothing.”

“I was worried about you! I thought something happened to you! I thought maybe Klaus hurt you.”

“I’m doing fine, you can go now.” she tells you, showing you the door.

“I’m staying.”

“Leave me alone, Y/N.”

“Answer me, Katherine.” you say, mad.

“I want you to leave me in peace! We had fun, it was nice but I want to move on so stop being clingy.”

“That’s it? Without a real reason? Everything was great and you woke up last time and decided to leave and never look back?”

“Exactly.” she replies, her voice deprived of any emotion.

“I don’t buy it.”

“Believe whatever the hell you want, I don’t care.”

“I know you, you’re hiding the truth.”

“If it was possible, you’d be giving me a headache right now.” Katherine sighs, rubbing her temples. “Leave it, Y/N!” she snaps.

“No, I’m not gonna ‘leave it’. You left without saying a word, you ignored my calls and you gave false information so I wouldn’t find you.” you enumerate, your last information taking her aback. “I might have never been on the run, but I know how you work. I know you’re running, from what I don’t know but you’re running from something.”

“You’re talking non-”

“Am I?” you cut her off, desperate. “Because it’s exactly what you’re doing. As soon as something you can’t control happens, you run away, you isolate yourself from everyone. You might not be used to this, but you matter to me so I want to know the truth, I want to know what’s wrong so I can be here for you. Don’t shut me out, talk to me.” you beg, taking a step toward her. “I’m here for you.”

You catch your breath once you’re done talking. Your gaze is set on Katherine, waiting for her to react, she doesn’t. Katherine is too preoccupied with being shocked to do so. Never had someone ever cared that much about her. She doesn’t know how to react. Only her heart does. It beats a bit faster whilst the feelings she’s been shoving down explodes once more in her chest. 

“Oh no, I’m falling in love again,” she wonders. 

She thought she had the situation under control, that she’d be able to protect herself like she always has yet, you make it hard. Katherine wants to protect herself from love. Stefan, Elijah and other people, it always ended badly. No matter how much she tries to stay in control. She accepted she isn’t meant for love so Katherine can’t give in now, not even when you do everything to keep her close to you.

Katherine takes a deep breath then her face is emotionless as she drily replies.

“I don’t want you, here or anywhere else. I’m perfectly fine on my own. I don’t get how you could think for one second that you mattered to me. You’re nothing to me so go away.”

Katherine’s words are like a stab in the back. Your eyes stings and you try your hardest to not tear up. You look at her one last time before slamming the door of her apartment behind you.

When Katherine is alone, a sob almost inaudible escapes her lips. She looks up, hoping no tears will fall. She didn’t fight for five hundred years just to crack now for something so insignificant! She is Katherine Pierce. She survived to the cruellest original, she can’t let herself breakdown because she doesn't want to fall in love. Though, the pain in her heart doesn’t help. Katherine tries to ignore it by thinking it only hurts this much right now before the pain eventually softens. It has to. Katherine breathes in then breathes out. It’s only a hard time to pass, she will forget about it quickly. That’s what she tells herself but a part of her knows she’ll be getting over you her whole life. The bond you have is too rare to be forgotten that quickly.

You haven’t talked with Katherine in the past six months. You miss her. You wish you had never lost what you had. You had never felt this for no one before. You knew being close to Katherine wouldn’t be easy. A lot of people told you to stay away from her because she only brings pain nonetheless, you didn’t listen to them. At first, you were glad you formed your own opinion. The minute Katherine lets her guard down, everything becomes easy and you spend an unforgettable time. However, when she creates walls, everything becomes painful. You wish you could talk to her again, but she hasn’t shown a sign of life since you left. Furthermore, you are the one who always makes the effort, it’s her turn to prove she cares about you. 

As a consequence, you go back to your daily life like it used to be before you met her, even if your heart bleeds from her absence. Some things seem more insipid, like the nights you spend alone, the walks you do in town without having someone to tell your historical facts. You struggle, though it’s slowly getting easier. 

One night, while the streets are lightened up by the lampposts, you notice a woman from afar. You have to look at her for a few seconds to recognize Claudia, she had helped you to find Katherine. She nods before disappearing behind a car which drives past her. You follow her whilst you’re searching for the reason why she’s here. As soon as you enter a dead-end alley, Claudia stops and faces you.

“Why all this mystery?” you question, joking.

“I have information on Katherine Pierce.”

“I found her six months ago, you’re late.” you tell her, starting to leave.

“She’s been kidnapped two weeks ago.” Claudia informs, your stomach twists upon hearing that.

“It’s impossible. It’s Katherine Pierce we’re talking about.”

“That’s what I was told.”

“And is your informer reliable?” you ask, searching for any trace of lie.

“Quite reliable, yes.”

“Who kidnapped her? Klaus? One of the Salvatore brothers?”

“No, it’s Everett Ackland.” Claudia says, this name sounds familiar. “Katherine caused him some problems two hundred years ago. He wants revenge.”

“Why does he keep her alive, then?”

“Katherine caused him problems with Klaus. He hopes he’ll make amends by giving her to him.”

Following her sentence, you remember what Katherine had told you about Everett and you know he won’t sell her to Klaus without torturing her first. Worry leaves its place to anger, knowing he’s hurting the person who means the most to you.

“Where is she?”

“He’s holding her at Bloomington, Indiana. I’ll send you the address on your phone.”

You don’t add anything else and walk away. As soon as you come home, you grab a few things, including some blood bags, then you drive to Indiana. On the way, you receive a message from Claudia and you drive faster, wanting to arrive as soon as possible.

You’re near the woods when you stop the car, a few metres away from the abandoned house. You walk to a tree and break a branch as a way to have stake. With your vampire hearing, you listen and find out there are four vampires besides Everett and Katherine. Determined and angry, you walk to the house.

Silently, you open the door and start walking. The moment you’re in front of the enemies, you kill them quite easily. You guess there are young vampires Everett created for his revenge plan. By killing his minions you know he’s aware of your presence. You stay on the lookout for every noise while going to the cellar where Katherine is.

As you go down the last step, you only have enough time to see Katherine when Everett attacks you. He pins you against the wall, making you drop your stake. You answer his attack and you start fighting back. Your fight lasts several minutes until you rip his heart out, not without smiling at him. His body drops dead on the floor whilst you let go of his heart. You turn to Katherine and run to her.

“Kat’, you’re okay?”

Upon hearing your soft voice, Katherine looks up, a relieved expression on her face. You glance at her body and notice the chains tying her up on the chair but also the first signs of drying up. She needs to feed right now.

“I’m here, it’s gonna be okay.”

You keep reassuring her while breaking her chains. The second Katherine is finally free, her body falls on yours. You barely hold her whilst she holds onto you as if you were her safety net. Paying more attention to her, you realise she doesn’t have her necklace to protect her from the sun anymore.

“Where’s your necklace?” you ask and Katherine points the table in the corner.

Katherine still leaning on you, you get back her jewel and put it back on her neck then, you put her arm around your shoulders and you two walk to the car where you help her to sit on the passenger side. Before closing the door, you go  to your trunk and get two blood bags then you give her one. In less than a second, she drinks it until the very last drop. As soon as Katherine feels better, you give her the second one then you go behind the wheel. While Katherine is feeding again, you start the car.

You’ve been on the road for more than an hour.  You’re focused on the way you drive whilst Katherine still hasn’t said a word. Her eyes are lost on the landscape. You don’t start the conversation, guessing Katherine probably needs time to gather her thoughts so just like she does, you stay silent.

You’re about to enter the State of Illinois when Katherine’s hoarse voice breaks the silence.

“Stop the car.”

“What?” you ask, not sure you understood.

“I said stop the car.” Katherine repeats louder.

“We’re almost there.”

“I said stop the freaking car!”

Abruptly, you brake, surprised by her harsh tone. You don’t have the time to put the car at a standstill when Katherine has already opened the door. She quickly walks, determined. You know she can use her vampire speed at any given moment so you run to her and stop her by gripping her arm.

“Let me go.” she says, mad and taking her arm out of your grip.

“And where do you wanna go exactly?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll see along the way.”

“It’s stupid, let’s go home.” you stop her as she is ready to leave.

“It’s not my home. Leave me alone, I can take care of myself. I don’t need you.”

“Yeah, that’s what I saw!” you retort, sarcastic. “You totally had the situation under control when you got kidnapped and you were chained.”

“I would have found a solution, as always. I’m a survivor, I can save myself.”

“It’s true you managed to save yourself for centuries but it doesn’t mean it always has to be this way. You gotta accept that sometimes you need help like right now.”

“You freed me once, don’t make it such a big deal.” Katherine exclaims, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not making it a big deal! I just want to show you I’m here for you when you need it.”

“I don’t need you anymore so leave me alone.”

“Why do you try so hard to push me away?” you question. “I know you told me I’m no one for you but we both know it’s not true. What we had was real and genuine and for some reason you decided to ruin everything. No matter how many times you try to convince me, I know it’s not true.” you insist, getting closer to Katherine. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have wasted that much time on me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have stayed all these nights and days. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have confessed that much about your past. Otherwise, you would have never been that vulnerable. Otherwise, you would have never searched for comfort in my arms when I came for you. So why? Why do you-”

“Because I love you!” she cuts you off, screaming.

“What?”

“I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you and it scares me.” she admits, looking at you deeply in your eyes. “Every time I allowed myself to feel those emotions, it brought me my own downfall. Every time, I ended up losing this person and I didn’t want to lose you. I’m afraid of being in love with you and losing you because I know if it were bond to happen, I wouldn’t be okay again so I preferred to run away rather than facing you.”

“I love you, too.” you confess, trying to take her hand unsuccessfully.

“Don’t say it because I told you. I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m saying it because I mean it. I love you, too and that is why I can’t let you walk away. I love you too much to lose you, too. And I know it won’t be easy because you went through awful things so you don’t trust easily but I can be patient.” you affirm, succeeding in taking her hands.

“You’re saying this right now but you’ll end up hating me like everybody else.”

“I know you. I knew your reputation well before meeting you and it didn’t stop me from getting closer to you. I learned to get to know you, the real you and it didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. I want you and everything it involves, the good sides and the bad ones. You can try to push me away as much as you want but I’m not going anywhere. I will always be there for you because I love you.”

Your hands on both sides of Katherine’s face, your eyes looking deeply in hers, your determined tone, Katherine’s heart can’t handle and starts to beat wildly. She didn’t expect this reaction from you. She didn’t expect that much conviction from you for everything you had. 

As Katherine’s eyes search for proof, even a tiny one, that you’re lying, she can only see honesty, love and the fear you have of losing her. At this moment, only a thought crosses her mind: 

“Oh, I’m falling in love.” 

She thought she was going to face another lost cause, see another love fall down, you just proved to her that this time, it could be different. This time, she can allow herself to fully fall in love without being scared, you’ll always be there to catch her.

Katherine puts her hand on yours, softly stroking it before kissing you with passion. You answer her kiss while bringing her closer to you as possible. Katherine loses herself in your kiss which, for the first time, doesn’t taste like a future betrayal but pure love.

Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

To Be With You - Kate Bishop

Marvel Masterlist

Summary : After having a nightmare about you dying, Kate is scared for your safety but she doesn't know how to talk to you about her fears.

Warnings : character's death in a dream, anxiety, mention of Natasha's death, hurt/comfort, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warning.

Word count : 2.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Talk Too Much by Reneé Rapp

Fear can be read on Kate’s face, her wide opened eyes are set on you. Her bow is armed with an arrow, she doesn’t know whether she should shoot or find an other solution to save you. On the edge of the building roof, Wilson Fisk has his arm around your neck while his other hand holds a gun against your temple. Your body is shaking and your eyes are full of tears whilst you gaze at Kate, completely terrified. 

“You should listen to me, Kate, and give me what I want or you can say goodbye to your girlfriend.” Fisk threatens with a harsh voice. “If you really loved her, you would’ve already saved her.”

“I’m not giving you anything.”

“Are you sure about that?” He replies before shooting you in the legs to prove he’s being serious.

“Let her go!” Kate yells following you cry of pain.

“You know what you have to do to save her life.”

“Fine! I’m gonna give it to you, just let her go.”

“Kate, no!” you scream while Fisk tightens his grip on your neck.

Reluctantly, Kate slowly puts down her bow on the ground whilst looking at you as a way to reassure you. She takes her bag off her back and throws it at Fisk. A machiavellian smirk on his face, Fisk loosens his grip however he still doesn’t let you go. You can finally breathe a bit more easily when Fisk suddenly throws you on the side and grabs the bag. You scream as you feel yourself falling off the roof. Your body goes on the other side of the edge when a pair of hands grabs yours. Looking up, you see Kate holding you with all her might. 

“It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you! I’m gonna pull you up. Hold on.” she comforts you as she tries to haul you up and Fisk runs away from the scene.

“Kate, I don’t have any more strength.”

A tear rolls down your face the second you talk. You’re physically exhausted. Fisk kidnapped you for a whole day to set a trap on Kate and he didn’t go easy on you - he’s known for his cruelty and you’ve seen it first hand. However, you do everything to help Kate to haul you up, in vain.

“I’m gonna find a solution. I’m gonna pull you up. I’m gonna do it.” Kate repeats to reassure you but also herself.

In addition to your fear, acceptance also takes over your body. You know she won’t be able to do it. Kate might be strong yet, you feel your hands slowly slipping from hers so, you tenderly look at her with a comforting smile.

“It’s gonna be okay, Kate. I love you.”

Kate’s panic stops as soon as she hears your sentence, it’s the first time you say ‘I love you’. You’ve only been together for three months and until now, you didn’t dare to say those three words.

“I told you I’m gonna pull you up! Don’t say this as if you-”

“Kate, it’s okay.” you say softly.

“No, stop it. I-”

Kate doesn’t have the time to finish her sentence that your hands slip from hers and you fall down the building. Kate yells your name at the top of her lungs, your fall being engraved in her memory. The thud of your body colliding with the ground resonates and Kate can’t look away from you.

Kate takes a deep breath as she sits on her bed, panting. A hand on her chest, she tries to make sense of her nightmare. Kate brutally waking up makes you open your eyes so you turn around and see her, all shaken up. You sit down and put your hand on her shoulder, at your touch, she abruptly faces you, fear being replaced with relief in her eyes. You barely have the time to notice a tear streaming down her face when Kate throws herself in your arms.

“Kate, what’s wrong?” you question, worried.

“Everything is okay, you’re here.”

“You don’t seem okay.” 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I just had a dream.” she lies, breaking the hug and faking a smile.

“Wanna talk about it? You seem pretty upset because of it.”

“No need. It was nothing. It was just a stupid dream, it didn’t mean anything. I’m fine.” Kate quickly says before standing up from the bed. “I have to go, I have training soon. You can stay here, if you want to or you can do something else, I’ll probably be home late. Be careful and call me if there’s anything weird.”

Kate finishes her rambling by pecking your lips and then, she runs away from her bedroom as if it was on fire. You stare at where she left, completely confused. Despite what she said, you can see right through her and you know this dream upset her. You tell yourself you should talk to her about it once she’s calmed down.

The following days, Kate’s nightmare keeps haunting her mind and she still hasn’t talked about it. Her nightmare made her question herself, more specifically your relationship. Though she’s never said it out loud, she loves you and she can’t lose you. Yet, since she became a vigilante after meeting Clint Barton, she has to take into account the dangers of this new life. Clint mentioned Natasha a few times and even if her death wasn’t like the one in her nightmare, the fact is, the Avengers are in constant danger and by extent their loved ones, too. Besides, since Kate’s mom went to jail, she is even more scared to lose the people she loves. 

Now that Kate has realised what it truly means being in a relationship with her, she’s not sure you’ve realised it, too. Kate is afraid to be the cause of your death due to her lifestyle so she wants to push you away, but she also wants to keep you close to her, though she knows it might be selfish on her part. She should talk to you about it, on the other hand if she does, she’ll just fall down a rabbit hole by saying too much and probably breaking up with you, her fears growing everyday so she prefers to stay silent. 

Obviously you’ve noticed she acts differently. You’ve tried to put her at ease several times without being too direct, fearing you’ll get her back up, however she always avoids the subject. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Kate asks, worried, searching for a potential wound.

She doesn't mention her nightmare even a week after and stays lost in her own thoughts. It kills you to see her distance yourself from you like this. You try to talk to her as much as you can but it's like talking to a brick wall and yet you keep making the conversation even if Kate doesn't seem to pay attention.

One day, whilst you’re both walking in the street, you tell Kate about your last exam. As usual the second you’re talking with someone, you don’t pay attention to where you’re going, focusing on your interlocutor. As you’re talking about how you feel about your exam, you just feel Kate violently grabbing you and making you take a step back then you see a blue car driving fast and honking.

“Thanks to you, I’m fine.”

“You really need to look in front of you when you’re talking, especially while walking in the streets!” she retorts, annoyed, “If I hadn’t been there, you could have had an accident! They were driving super fast, they could have hit you. Do you have any idea how reckless you are? You scared me! What if I hadn’t seen this car, you would have died in front of me!”

“But you saw it just in time and you pulled me back before it could hit me. I’m fine, Kate, we were more scared than hurt.” you calmly affirm, hoping to ease the tension.

“Because you were lucky! You won’t always be, something can happen to you at any given moment.”

Kate’s breath gets more jerky and you understand this goes way deeper than a bad driver. You force Kate to look at you before saying with a reassuring tone:

“Kate, breathe. I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re both fine.”

“I got so scared.”

“I know. Come on, let’s go to my place.” you tell her as you start to drag her in the opposite direction.

“But you wanted to buy the new book you’ve been waiting for months.” Kate protests, confused.

“I’ll buy it another day. We should get home, far away from the cars.” you state with a small smile though Kate isn’t in the mood to laugh. “Too soon?”

“Yes, barely two minutes after your almost accident is too soon.”

“Sorry. Come on.” you say, taking Kate’s hand in yours.

You turn around and start walking to your place whilst you stroke Kate’s hand with your thumb as a way to comfort her. Kate’s reaction confirms you have to make her talk, even if you have to force her. Something is wrong and she’s anxious, more specifically about you and you don’t know why.

Once you get in your small apartment, you let her sit on your couch whilst you make two hot chocolates - no matter the season, Kate loves to drink them. You hope the hot drinks will put her at ease so she’ll talk more easily. As soon as the beverages are ready, you join her on the couch. You let her take a few sips before speaking.

“Kate, we need to talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” she states, avoiding your gaze.

“You’re clearly anxious about something, you can’t just stay in your fear all alone. Talk to me.”

“I…,” Kate starts with hesitation, “I wonder if you really know what you got yourself into when you decided to date me and if it’s not the case then, I wonder if you’ll still want to be with me when you’ll realise it.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“You died.” she bluntly states.

“Kate, the car didn’t run me over.”

“In my dream.”

“The one you had last week? Why didn’t you tell me?” you question, starting to understand the situation better.

“You died and it was my fault.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is,” Kate insists with teary eyes, “Fisk found me again and he wanted my bag - I have no idea what was so precious in this bag but he wouldn’t let it go and to force me to give it to him, he had kidnaped you. He even shot you in the leg and once I finally gave him the bag, he threw you off the building roof - because, yeah we were on a building roof - and I tried to pull you back but I didn’t have enough strength and… and you fell.” she tells you, her voice breaking at her last sentence. “You died and it was my fault. If I had listened to Fisk earlier, if I had had more strength-”

“Kate, it was only a dream.” you interrupt her, taking her hand in yours.

“It didn’t feel like a dream, it felt so real and it made me think.” Kate retorts, putting her cup on the living room table. “At any moment, it could be real. Now that I’ve worked with Hawkeye and with my mom who worked for Fisk, I could be a target and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I care about you too much to lose you, especially if it’s my fault. And even if I’m no Spider-man or Captain America, with time, I could have more enemies way more ruthless than Fisk and Fisk is awful enough. This nightmare was like a wake-up call, I can’t be with you because it means you’re in danger and you're already putting yourself in danger when you’re talking in the street without looking where you’re going. Who walks without watching where they’re going seriously?” She rambles before going back to her main argument. “The fact is, by dating me, you put yourself in danger and it’s something you should keep in mind,” Kate adds before taking a deep breath. “Okay, having said all that, do you still wanna be with me? ‘Cause, like, I wanna be with you, maybe even forever, holy shit, maybe not forever. I mean, I’m not saying ‘not forever,’” Kate nervously adds without giving you the time to answer, “I actually have no idea what I’m saying. Are you mad at me because I’m pushing you to break up with me because of a stupid nightmare? You’re mad at me, I’m sure of it and it’s cool if you are, I don’t care. It’s just that with this dream, I can’t stop wondering if it’s a sign, like a premonitory one, you know and if it’s true, I’d forever resent myself for not protecting you by giving you an exit when there was still a chance. And, oh my God, I think I talk too much.” Kate tells herself, “I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I should let you talk. Like you said, we should talk and… Ah! Just shut the fuck up!” she screams, frustrated.

“I haven’t said anything!” you reply, putting your hands up to prove your innocence.

“Not you, sorry, I meant me.” Kate corrects with a guilty face. “I meant I should shut up and let you talk.”

“Can I talk?” you ask after letting her breath for a second. Once she nods, you start speaking again. “Kate, I get your nightmare scared you, but it doesn’t mean it’ll happen. Besides, I knew what I was getting myself into by dating you - I mean, you bragged about working with Hawkeye on our first date so I knew for the whole vigilante thing, potential enemies and everything and I still accepted to go on a second date with you. I’m aware of all of this and despite it, I don’t want us to break up, particularly because of a nightmare.” you add with a soft yet firm voice. “And also, I don’t want to leave you alone. Being a vigilante is already complicated enough, you can’t isolate yourself. You have to talk to me when you’re not okay, especially if you get yourself worried sick. I want to be with you. I might not know how to do archery or fight but I can be here for you. I want to be here for you. You can try and give me every exit you want but I’ll still want to be with you. I love you, Kate.” you confess, looking her straight in the eyes.

“You love me?” Kate questions, stunned.

“Of course.”

“Wow, I didn’t think we were at the stage of our relationship and I didn’t think you’d say it during this kind of conversation. I mean, technically, in my dream, you said it before dying though we should probably forget about that dream. Anyway, I thought you’d say it when we’d be doing something much more romantic. God, I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

You lightly laugh before putting your hands on both sides of her face and kissing Kate. As she feels your lips on hers, Kate’s fears finally calm down. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds so it can allow Kate to focus on something else, yet it doesn’t mean it’s not full of love and tenderness. Once you break the kiss, Kate gives you a smile you find cute.

“I love you, too.” she says, stroking your right hand on her cheek.

“I love you and I want to be with you, Kate Bishop, no matter what you can say to dissuade me.”

At your words, Kate’s smile gets bigger, grateful she’s found someone so comprehensive and kind as you are. She couldn’t have dreamed of a sweeter girlfriend in this brutal world.

Marvel Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Let's Go Together - Stiles Stilinski

Drabble Masterlist

Summary : You and Stiles do a horror movie night and you later regret it when you hear a weird noise.

Warnings : mention of horror movies, feeling scared, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English isn't my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 848

French version

Prompt : "Please tell me that was the wind." from this prompt list made by @the-moon-dust-writings

The title “The Nun” appears on Stiles’ computer and with the bowl of popcorn next to you, you start watching the third horror movie of the evening. Like the last ones, you’re not really afraid. You jumped at certain moments but nothing too bad. However, once the closing credits are rolling, you feel fear taking over your body as you think back to the several stories you’ve just watched. Yet, you don’t show anything to Stiles, too proud to admit it. He doesn’t seem scared so you don’t want to chicken out or he’ll tease you until the day you’ll die.

Tired by your horror movie night, Stiles puts down his computer before turning off the light. Cuddling together, you’re both ready to fall asleep. At least, Stiles is. Your eyes are wide open, your senses on high alert in case there’s a threat of any kind. You try to reassure yourself by telling you it’s not real. It doesn’t work. You turn around from Stiles and try to find a better position to sleep in, maybe it’ll help you. Alas, once again, you’re still awake. You sigh and turn again.

“Can’t sleep?” Stiles asks, startling you as you thought he was sleeping.

“No, I can’t find a good position.”

“Me neither.”

You growl in frustration. You get closer to Stiles again when there’s a sudden noise. You look at each other, completely panicked. 

“Please tell me that was the wind.” you whisper.

“Yeah, it probably was.” he reassures you but there’s another sound.

“What was that? Go check!”

“What? Why me?” Stiles retorts, appalled as he turns on the light.

“Because it’s your house.”

“So what? You should go.”

“Why should I?” you question him, shocked.

“Aren’t you the one who always says to kill the patriarchy you have to destroy gender norms? In this kind of situation, the man usually goes, so we’re switching. Go check what it is.” he exclaims, trying to get you out of the bed.

“I swear, you men fight for equality only when it advantages you! Come on, Stiles, go downstairs. You have a baseball bat!” you try to convince him.

“I can totally give it to you.”

“Your dad is the sheriff. You know more about safety.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Stiles, if I die because of a demon, I’ll come back to haunt you.”

“Y/N, demons don’t exist.” Stiles contradicts, failing to hide his fear.

“Yeah and we said the same about werewolves! And, if you’re so sure about it, go check.”

“I’m not moving from my bedroom.” he protests and you roll your eyes.

“You know what? Let’s go together. Take your baseball bat.”

You get out of bed, completely afraid. Stiles takes his makeshift weapon and looks at you, waiting for instructions.

“Go first, I’m following you.”

“Why should I go first?”

“If you really love me, you’ll sacrifice yourself to save me.” you affirm with a big smile.

Stiles stares at you with a deadpan look before rolling his eyes. You lightly chuckle before kissing his cheek.

“I’m joking, you know very well I’d never sacrifice you.” you add more seriously. “Come on, you have the weapon and I’m right behind you, don’t worry.”

Stiles sighs before opening the door while you grip on his pyjama t-shirt - no matter how stupid it sounds, it reassures you. At the top of the stairs, you notice lights coming from the kitchen, proving there’s a stranger. Your panic increases and you mentally say your last prayer as you walk down the last stairs. Stiles makes a sign to not make any sound. You’re about to enter the kitchen but you let go of a shriek when, by surprise, the person appears in front of you. The stranger puts his hand on his chest, lecturing Stiles. Opening your eyes - you didn’t even notice you had closed them - you only see Noah in front of you with a desperate look on his face.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

“We-”

“Well, actually-”

Stiles and you stutter for a few seconds before Stiles casually replying : 

“We were just trying to scare you.”

“Scare me? It’s four in the morning, you should be sleeping.”

“Well, I totally agree, we should, I mean, our joke clearly didn’t work, anyway.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go to sleep and you should too.” Noah says before taking a step. “By the way, Stiles, your baseball bat isn’t a weapon.” he adds, looking at his son up and down.

You wait for Noah to be in his bedroom before breathing normally again. You stay silent for a second, feeling completely stupid.

“You seriously didn’t remember your dad was coming home right now?” you reprimand him.

“Oh, so it’s going to be my fault now?”

“Yes! If you had thought for a minute, we wouldn’t have panicked for nothing.”

“You are the one who scared me with your demon talk.” he retorts.

“Oh, please! You were already freaking out.”

“Anyway,” Stiles interrupts, “no more horror movies after midnight. And no one has to know about what happened tonight.”

“Agreed.”

Drabble Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

I'll Never Leave You - Dean Winchester

Masterlist

Summary : You thought your father, Dean Winchester, would always be by your side.

Warnings : Spoiler last episode of the show!, reader is Dean's daughter, no age mention but reader is a young adult, angst, character death, feeling of hopelessness, loss of a parent, bittersweet ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English isn't my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Marjorie by Taylor Swift

Laying on your bed, a book in hand and your dog Miracle at your feet, you patiently wait for your dad and your Uncle Sam to come home from the hunt. Since the apocalypses, the wars between Angels, Archangels and God have officially stopped, you took a step back from the hunting life. You still help them with the research but you don’t go on the field as much. You can finally have a normal life - as normal as it can be when your last name is Winchester - and Dean supports your decision, glad to know your future is full of possibilities. 

You’re in the middle of a chapter when you hear the bunker’s door opening. Miracle raises his head while you put your book on the bed. You trot to the entrance where you only find Sam with an emotionless look on his face however you don’t notice it. 

“Was the hunt good? Where’s dad?” you question with a smile.

“Y/N, something happened.”

“What? Did you scratch Baby?” you laugh, yet your smile disappears as soon as you see his serious face.

“No, it’s Dean.”

“What is it? Uncle Sam, what happened? Is dad hurt? Where is he?”

“Y/N, wait,” Sam holds you back as you’re about to leave the room. “You should sit down.”

“I don’t want to sit down, I want to know where my dad is.”

“We found a vampire nest so we went there to kill them but Dean got hurt.”

“Is he okay, though, right?”

Sam stays silent for a long second before speaking again.

“One of the vampires pushed them against a beam and there was a spike. He got severely injured.”

“What do you mean, Sam? Tell me my dad is okay!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, Dean… he died during the hunt.”

Upon hearing this sentence, the floor crumbles underneath your feet. You can’t believe it. You stay speechless while Sam keeps talking.

“You dad wanted you to know he’s always been proud of you and he loves you. He also told me-”

“No…,” you interrupt him with watery eyes. “Wh-, How-, it can’t be.” you stutter, shaking your head. “He can’t die! He is Dean Winchester. He’s survived so many things. He can’t be dead!”

“Y/N/N, I’m terribly sorry.”

“No!” you scream when Sam is about to hug you. “I… I need…”

You don’t finish your sentence, too stunned to speak. You run to your room, tears rolling down your face, Miracle hot on your heels. You let the dog in the room before locking yourself in. Completely confused, you don’t know what to stare at. Your eyes look everywhere while Sam’s words are echoing in your head: ‘He died during the hunt.’ You choke while big tears stream down your cheeks. You fall to the ground as your heart bleeds. You can’t believe you’ve just lost your dad.

One could think it wouldn’t hurt as much after Dean cheated death so many times, however the pain is still unbearable - if not worse, this time. You grew up with only your dad and your Uncle as your mom died in childbirth. Your family isn’t big but your love for them knows no limit. You had to overcome a lot of loss the past years, whether it was Bobby, Charlie, Castiel or other people, though the pain you felt at their death is nothing compared to what you’re feeling right now. You’re lost, begging in the empty for your dad to come back to you. Miracle has his head on your legs, trying to comfort you; you stare at him and you hurt a bit more.

Dean never wanted a dog, no matter how many times you asked him for one. He always used to say with your way of life, you couldn’t take care of one and above all, he’d say no dog would ever get in the Impala as long as he’s alive. However, the second your life went back to normal, he rescued Miracle. You secretly suspect he’s always wanted a dog and your whim was the perfect excuse to adopt one. When he brought Miracle home, you weren’t surprised to see he was the one he got. Miracle managed to find his way to Dean’s heart since they first met, though he would never admit it… would have never admitted it. 

Dean was finally having the life he’s always wanted, far away from the repeating apocalypses and it was taken from him as quickly as it came. It isn’t fair. You dad doesn’t deserve to die this young and you still need him. You’ll always need him.

You stay with your back against the door and Miracle in your arms for several hours. Actually, you don’t know how long you stayed in this position. You’re numb, time is standing still since your discussion with Sam; maybe only two hours passed or a whole day, you have no idea and you don’t have the strength to check it on your phone. All you want is your dad. You don’t care what time it is or if you need to eat. You just want Dean and his comfort.

You think back to all the times you lost Dean and all the times he came back. There always was a solution. There must be one for this time, too. His time hasn’t come yet. You still can bring back your dad to life, no matter the sacrifice you have to make. You dry your cheeks and stand up. Determined, you leave your room and walk to the library, Miracle following you. You take several lore books you already know and others you’ve never read but could be useful. On the table, you have at least four piles of ten books, yet you’re still motivated. You could read thousands of books, as long as you find a solution, that’s all that matters. You take one and start reading it and taking notes with information that might be helpful.

You’ve just finished a whole stack when Sam’s voice snaps you out of your reading, startling you. Sam stares at you, worried while you don’t pay much attention to him before going back to your research. Sam sits in front of you yet, he stays silent. He watches you for a few minutes before speaking.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Alright. I’m gonna give Dean a Hunter’s funeral tomorrow. If you wanna join me.”

“Don’t burn his body!” you exclaim following his information.

“I have to and you know it.”

“No! If you do it, it’ll be even harder to save him.”

“What exactly are you researching, Y/N?” Sam questions, fearing your answer.

“A way to resuscitate dad.”

“Y/N, we can’t do that.” He firmly says and you look at him sternly.

“Why? That didn’t stop you and dad from doing it numerous times before, why would it be any different now?”

“Because everytime we wanted to cheat death, it caused major issues, you know that damn well.”

“Nothing we can’t handle. Dad can’t be dead, not like this, not now that everything is starting to get better. I’m gonna bring him back, no matter the price.” you affirm, opening a new book.

“Even if you have to die?” Sam interrogated, surprised.

“As long as he’s alive, that’s all that matters.”

“Y/N, your dad wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your life for him. He’d want you to live it.”

“It means nothing if he isn’t there.” you say, your lip quivering. “I need him, Uncle Sam. I have to bring him back.”

“We can’t.”

“We damn well can! We can find a solution.” you argue before having an idea. “I’m even sure if we asked Jack, he’d do it. After all, the current God likes us more than the last one, we’re his family.”

“Y/N, we can’t save him, not this time.” Sam insists, making you angry.

“If you don’t want to save your big brother who sacrificed everything for you, that’s your problem, as for me, I’m gonna save him, so either you help me or you leave me alone.”

“It’s time he rests in peace, especially after everything he went through.”

“Because of everything he went through, he deserves to live without worrying about Lucifer, God or another Archangel.”

You look at Sam, sure of yourself. Sam doesn’t reply right away before weighing pros and cons and admitting to you: 

“Dean specifically asked to not be brought back to life because he knew too well the consequences, so respect his wish.”

“He was dying, he didn’t know what he wanted. Now, leave me, I have lots of research to do.”

Defeated, Sam sighs before leaving the library. He sees how desperate and in denial you are. He just hopes you’ll realise very soon bringing Dean back is dangerous and useless. Though he fears you’ll realise it too late and you’ll suffer even more. Either way, he promised Dean to be there for you and that’s what he’s going to do. Whether you want it or not, Sam will stay by your side to comfort you the instant you’ll accept Dean’s death.

The following day, Sam gives Dean a Hunter’s funeral alone. He tried to convince you to come but you refused, preferring to lose yourself in your research. Sam wished he could have done the funeral later, fearing you might regret it later for missing this last goodbye to Dean, unfortunately, it had to be done as soon as possible. 

Sam worries more and more for you. You’ve completely shut yourself out. You only read books in the library and do more advanced research on the internet without sleeping or eating. He brings you food however you almost never eat and you pull all-nighter after the other, despite his disapproval. He doesn’t know what to do to help you. He knew you’d be devastated when he told you Dean’s death but he didn’t expect this reaction. 

A few weeks later, the situation hasn’t evolved, except that now you’re locked in your room and not in the library as a way to avoid Sam. You’re still mad at him for not wanting to help you save your father. You don’t understand how he can be this passive. Your father would have done everything to bring back Sam if the roles were reversed, you’re sure of it.

You finish reading the last book you took from the library when you have an idea. You think you know where to look, except you didn’t see the book when you rummage through all the shelves or you would have started with this one right away. Just in case, you go through the mess that is your room now before going to the library and checking everywhere four times. You try to remember where it might be when a memory comes into your mind. You saw it last in your dad’s bedroom a few weeks before his death. You haven’t stepped a foot there since Dean’s last hunt. You just can’t. You’d like to, though. Normally, whenever you’re feeling down, you go find your dad in his room so he can comfort you.

However, if you went to his room now, you’d face a loud silence and you can’t face it.

Reluctantly, you end up walking slowly to Dean’s bedroom. You stay in front of the door for some time, pondering if you should go in or not. You don’t know if you’re ready to enter his room but on the other hand, you need this book, it might be the solution. You take a deep breath and open the door. The corridor light penetrates the room and you can see the bed which is made, his music collection and the book you’re looking for on the desk. You turn on the light and take big steps to his desk, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible. However, you don’t do it. On the desk chair, you find one of your dad’s shirts. You get teary eyes as you take it and bring the piece of cloth to your nose. You smell the familiar scent and you burst into tears in one second. You wish Dean would come to his room and tell you not to steal one of his tapes like you usually do. Everytime he’d admonish you, he’d pretend it bothered him when in reality, he loved knowing he passed on his love for classic rock to you. His bedroom is now all that’s left of him and you don’t want to lose this place, even the most insignificant piece of scrap such as the menu from the burger place a few miles away is now of an inestimable value. Your eyes fall on a piece of paper lying in the middle of the desk. Carefully, you read it and find it’s an application to become a firefighter on which you can see his signature with his name on the bottom of the paper. You sob when you think back of the first time your dad confessed to you he would have loved to be one if he hadn’t been a hunter. 

It was a few years ago during a fall morning, Dean had woken you up early. Too early. At 4:00 A.M. to be specific. He had woken you up because he wanted to have a father-daughter day. This was how you found yourself in the Impala this early while you were still mentally sleeping and your dad was happy to spend the day with you.

“You know, a father-daughter day can start at 10:00 A.M.,” you complained, yawning.

“You’re not gonna regret waking up early, trust me. We’re almost there.”

“It better be amazing or during the next roadtrip I pick the music.”

“Hell no! You know the rules.” Dean refused.

“Yeah, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, whatever. I deserve some compensation!”

“I got you some donuts.” he exclaimed, showing the pink box at your feet.

“It’s a good start.”

A few minutes later, you arrived in front of a lake. Dean told you to get out of the car and to lean on the hood with the donuts in hand. Despite the morning breeze, you started eating while watching the sunrise. The sky was a beautiful amber colour and it was reflecting on the lake, making the scene even more stunning. It was peaceful, save for the birds which were waking up.

“So, wasn’t it worth it?” Dean asked with a smirk. 

“Ok, you were right and besides, the donuts are delicious. I didn’t think of you as a fan of watching the sunrise.”

“I can be interested in nature!”

“Stop it or next thing you know, you’re only gonna eat salad like Uncle Sam.” you answered with a fake fear expression on your face to which Dean rolled his eyes.

“The fact is we’re having a great time as a father and daughter, away from all the supernatural threats.” Dean said, holding you close to him.

“True.”

“And like this, I can make it up a little bit for the father I am.”

“You don’t have to make it up. You’re a great dad.”

“No children should grow up like you did, like I did. I always promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistakes as my father and here you are in the middle of all this crap between two High School periods.” He grumbled, avoiding your gaze.

“Do I have to remind you I started hunting because I followed you, not because you forced me to?”

“I’m still mad at you for that. You shouldn’t have followed us when you didn’t even know what you were fighting, it could have ended badly!”

“The fact is I saved your ass from some werewolves.” you retorted with a proud smile.

“You especially got lucky. I didn’t know what I would have done if you had gotten hurt.”

“I learned from the best, nothing could happen to me.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. With Sam, we always got ourselves out of those messes just on time. I don’t like knowing you’re part of the hunting life.” Dean confessed with sad eyes.

“I chose it. You always give me a way out and I never take it because I like to hunt.”

“Maybe, but I wish you had the opportunity to lead a normal life, you deserve it.”

“I might not hunt my whole life, I don’t know for sure. For now, it’s what I want to do, though. To be honest, I don’t even know what I’d do if I weren’t a hunter. Besides, you deserve a normal life, too, you know.” you affirmed, firmly.

“It’s too late for me. And I’m not made for the apple pie life but it can be different for you.”

Your heart broke in your chest upon hearing your dad saying this. You wish his life had been different, that his dad had given him the choice when he was younger. Dean might have kept everything buried inside yet, you could read him like an open book. No matter what he affirmed you, you knew your dad wished for a calmer life.

“What would you have done, if you hadn’t been a hunter?” you randomly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“If you had the apple pie life, what would be your job?”

“I don’t know.” he replied but you didn’t believe him.

“You’re telling me you never thought about it ? You’re lying. I can totally see you in a job where you help others.”

“I would have loved to be a firefighter.” Dean confessed after marking a pause.

“You would have been a good firefighter, I’m sure of it. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll have your chance?”

“I don’t think so. I made up my mind I’ll always be a hunter and besides without hunting, I would have never met your mother and you wouldn’t be here so I’m grateful for this life.” he affirmed with a genuine smile.

“You’ll always be here, right?”

“Always.” he promised.

You kept watching the sunrise while talking about more random topics, you particularly complained about some teachers and Dean shared his High School experiences - while leaving behind some details as to not be a bad influence. 

The rest of the day, Dean taught you how to drive Baby, something that didn’t happen often. You were so happy to see your dad trusting you this much. You carefully listened to Dean to avoid making any mistakes. Dean, as for him, loved sharing this knowledge with you, despite having some anxiety over Baby potentially being injured at any given moment. After that day, this place by the lake quickly became your father-daughter spot.

In hindsight, you realise to what extent Dean could have lived the life he wanted. He was probably going to go less and less on hunts so he could do the job he always loved and his chance at a normal life has been ripped away from him. After everything he went through, he deserved this chance. 

Furthermore, you become aware you’ll never have a father-daughter day again where Dean wakes you before the sun so you could enjoy every instant. Had you known, you would have made sure to memorise every second of your last day. All of these memories are part of the past and you can’t bear the idea of it. You can’t stay another day away from your dad, you’re desperate and you must save him. You keep the shirt in your hand while you close the door then, you pray to Jack, looking up.

“Please, Jack, if you can hear me, you have to help me. I’ll bother you only this one time, I promise. I won’t ask for anything else. I just need my father, you have to bring him back. Please, help me.”

You keep begging as you close your eyes as if it gave more strength to your prayers. After a few minutes, Jack’s voice saying your name resonates in the room. You open your eyes and throw yourself in his arms. You missed him so much. You quickly considered Jack as your little brother after he was born so the second he took over Chuck, you heart broke. You’re glad to see Jack replied to your call, despite his responsibilities.

“I’m happy to see you, Y/N.”

“Me too, you have no idea.”

“You prayed so we could talk about Dean. Let me tell you, he is in Heaven. He deserves it after everything he’s done.” he informs you with a genuine smile.

“He particularly deserves to live. Jack, I know I’m asking for a lot but he can’t stay in Heaven, he has a life here, he has to live it.”

“I can’t do that and you know it.”

“You’re God now, of course you can!” you exclaim, appalled.

“After everything he’s sacrificed, he can finally rest.”

“No, he can finally live! Jack, you have to save him.” you beg, tears in your eyes.

“I can’t break the new balance we just made and also, he doesn’t want to, Y/N, he knows the price to pay and he doesn’t want you and Sam to pay it, you in particular.” Jack says, calmly.

“You’re lying! My dad would never leave me. Please, Jack, I’m begging you to help me. Whether you do it or not, I’ll find a way but with your help, I’ll cause less damage.”

“My answer stays the same. I’m sorry.” he insists, making you mad.

“Leave. I’ll do it alone. I don’t need you! Leave!”

Disappointed, Jack disappears, leaving you alone in Dean’s room. You can’t understand why no one wants to help you. You’re not asking to bring back a monster, just your father so why is everyone letting you down? Your tears that had stopped rolling down earlier find their way back on your cheeks again in a second. You’re sick of everything. You’re sick of crying. You’re sick of no one helping you. And more specifically, you’re sick of not having your father.

Mentally tired, you end up laying down on Dean’s bed and you hold the shirt close to you, hoping it’ll bring you some sense of comfort. You keep crying until you finally fall asleep for the first time in weeks.

A light breeze going over your body wakes you up. You open your eyes, not understanding where it comes from and you find yourself on the backseat of Dean’s car. You just have the time to look up when you see the car door opened and your dad telling you to get out of the car. Surprised, you need a second before jumping into his arms. Dean hugs you back and strokes your back while you pay attention to his shoulders moving at the rhythm of his breath to make sure he’s alive. After a few minutes, you break the embrace and Dean drags you so you can lean against the hood of the Impala which is parked in front of the lake. Dean puts his arm around your shoulder while you put your head against his.

“Dad, is this a dream or real? I’m confused, I haven’t found a solution yet so how can you be here? And how did I get in the Impala?”

“Jack must have found a way for us to meet again.” Dean answers, giving you hope, in spite of himself. 

“So, is it all good? You’re safe?”

“No, sweetheart. Jack and Sam were right when they said I didn’t want to be brought back to life.”

“Why, though? You finally had everything you wanted!” you anger, taking a step back from Dean.

“I can’t keep on dying and coming back to life, I had to die for good one day.”

“Yeah, when you’d be old, very old, not now!”

“I wish it could have been later, too, but it is what it is, there’s nothing we can’t do. Y/N/N, I don’t want you to spend your life trying to find a way to bring me back, it always ends badly. I promise you, I regret nothing, I’m fine and I can finally rest. You have to keep living without worrying about me.” he tells you, calmly.

“But I need you, dad.” you retort, shaking your head. “There’s so much I don’t know, there are so many questions I should have asked you about the supernatural, what I’m supposed to do, on how to be and even more questions I haven’t thought about yet. It’s too hard without you.” you say, your voice breaking.

“You’ll be okay, I know you will. You’re a fighter, a Winchester. I’m proud of you and the woman you became, I hope you know that.”

“Uncle Sam told me, yeah.”

“Don’t push him away. He tries his best to support you while respecting what I asked him.” Dean tenderly states.

“You told me you’d never leave me. You promised you’d always be here.”

“And I meant it. I’ll always be by your side even if you don’t see me. I’ll never leave you and when the moment comes, we’ll meet again.”

“I want us to meet again now.” you cry and Dean takes you in his arms.

“I wish we could but we can’t. I’m sorry we didn’t have much time together. I love you, sweetheart, never forget it.”

“I love you, too, dad.” you say before breaking the embrace. “I’ll apologise to Uncle Sam, I shouldn’t have yelled at him.”

“He isn’t mad at you, I’m sure of it. It’ll be okay, don’t worry.” he says, kissing your temple. “Come on, let’s enjoy this moment. Donuts?”

A small smile finds its way to your face as soon as he hands you a donut. You take it and eat it, enjoying this precious moment. Mentally, you thank Jack and apologise to him before focusing back on the lake illuminated by the sunrise until you slowly fall back asleep.

The second you wake up, you’re in Dean’s room again, his shirt next to yours. A single tear streams down your face yet, this time, this tear isn’t only for the pain of losing your dad. This tear is full of sadness, yes, but also of joy as you got one last goodbye. This tear rolls down because you know Dean’s death is still affecting you notwithstanding, he’s right, he can’t be brought back to life and you have to accept it. You know that despite everything, he’s still all around you.

You look at the clock on the nightstand and discover it’s still early and the sun is still rising in the sky. You take one of your dad’s jackets in his closet and leave the bunker with Miracle who woke up when he heard you. Outside, you admire the dawn, your heart pinching in your chest a little. No matter how many sunrises you’ll have to live without Dean, you promise yourself to have at least a day during the week where you’ll wake up early and think about your dad. You want to keep him alive in your head and for this, you want to keep the traditions you had when he was still there.

The day officially started, you grab Baby’s keys and drive downtown, more specifically to the Fire Academy. You enter the building and wait for your turn at the reception. As soon as it’s your turn, the woman tells you to come closer and asks what you need.

“I’d like to apply to be a firefighter, please.”

The woman gives you some information and papers to fill and when she’s done, you thank her and go back to the Impala. Sat on the driver seat, you look at the papers with a bittersweet smile. Though you don’t see Dean, you know he’s here, right next to you, happy to see you officially quit the hunting life and realise your dreams and his.

Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

The One I Want - Eddie Munson

Stranger Things Masterlist

Summary : You and Eddie are dating and before you can tell your parents about your relationship, your dad finds out when Eddie is in your bedroom.

Warning : fake friends, mentions of rumours about Eddie (leading cult/venerating Satan), mention of teenage pregnancy (but no pregnancy), parents walking in you and your boyfriend, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 6.4k

French version

Song Inspiration : But Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift

Most of your body is on top of Eddie’s while his arms are wrapped around your waist. You are both peacefully sleeping, light snores coming out of your boyfriend’s lips. Slowly, you wake up but you keep your eyes closed, wanting to enjoy this moment with Eddie. You hold him a bit tighter against you and stay like this for five more minutes before finally opening your eyes. You gaze at his sleeping face. A few curls are on his visage which makes him even cuter; delicately, you put his hair back then you kiss his cheek. 

Unaware what time it is, you look up at the clock on his nightstand and you start to panic. It’s almost eleven in the morning, however you have to be at the Smith’s house at eleven for their annual garden party where your parents are already waiting for you. In one second, you jump from the bed and scream at Eddie to wake up. He groans and shoves his face on the pillow while you take your stuff and run to the bathroom as you keep telling Eddie to get out of bed.

Not having too much time, you quickly freshen up then you dress. While you put your skirt on, Eddie appears in the room, yawning. 

“Why are you in such a hurry?”

“I’m gonna be late!” you reply, yet Eddie is still confused as he rubs his eyes. “My father’s colleague's party, I told you about it yesterday.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Can you drive me? I planned on taking the bus, but I don’t want to be even more late.”

Generally, when you sleep at Eddie’s, you don’t take your car as a way to avoid using two vehicles. Though, today, your car would be useful.

“Of course, lemme put on some pants and let’s go.”

“Perfect, you’re the best,” you say, pecking his lips.

You leave the bathroom and you go pack your bag while Eddie puts his clothes on. Once you’re both ready, you get in his van. Eddie is about to drive but stops the second he sees you with your makeup bag.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m putting my makeup on,” you reply as if it was obvious.

“Are you sure about it?”

“I’m used to it, don’t worry, just drive.”

Without wasting more time, you leave the trailer park. You do a natural makeup look as you can not do something more sophisticated. The minute you’re close to the Smiths, Eddie stops the car just before their house.

Your parents are clueless about the fact you’re dating Eddie. To be honest, except Wayne, no one knows. You don’t need everyone’s comments about your relationship. Your parents think you stayed at Nancy who you work with at the school newspapers. Consequently, they can’t see Eddie’s van. 

Once the car is parked, you thank Eddie and throw him a quick ‘I love you’ before kissing him and bolting out of the car. While you run to the house, you try to smooth your outfit out while putting your backpack correctly on your shoulders. The second you arrive, you find your parents, your dad sends you a pointed look.

“I’m late, I’m so sorry, daddy”, you say, hoping the use of the term ‘daddy’ instead of ‘dad’ will make things better, “We forgot to turn on the alarm,” you explain while wiping some sweat on your forehead.

“Isn’t Nancy with you?” your mother asks.

“She had to go back home quickly.”

“Go say hello to the Smiths and ask where you can put your bag.”

You listen to your mother and walk to the hosts who aren’t far away from your parents. You apologize for being late and Mrs Smith tells you you can put your belongings in Sarah’s room, their daughter who you go to school with. Glancing at her, you see her with Hannah Williams who is sighing ‘what a mess!’ to her while she is clutching her pearls. Mrs Smith asks her daughter to come so Sarah leaves her friend then she gives you a hypocritical smile before inviting you to follow her.

Once you’re rid of your stuff, you go back to the garden and you have to be social with Sarah and Hannah for the following hours. You try to keep your cool the whole afternoon. The people around your age aren’t the one you get along with, notwithstanding you can’t cause a scandal, though they make it hard. Calvin Jones, Jason Carver as well as two other guys and girls join you and you have to hold yourself back from breathing out every two minutes.

“I still don’t understand why you’re friend with the Freak,” Jason suddenly states, turning to you.

“We just get along, it’s as simple as that.”

“Yeah, but still. He’s weird. Wouldn’t you be better with normal people?” Calvin adds, putting his arm around your shoulder, making you uncomfortable.

“At least, he knows what personal space is unlike some,” you retort, looking him up and down.

Sure when he’s with you, Eddie is always in your personal space. He has this need to feel your body against his, whether it’s his hand in yours or on your lower back or on your thigh. Eddie is a real koala, but it’s only because you’re his girlfriend. Back when you were just friends, he wasn’t as touchy so technically, your comment is not really a lie. 

Nevertheless, your comment flies over Calvin’s head who keeps his arm on you; to get rid of it, you have to go get a drink. You’ve only been here for two hours and yet, it feels like ten. Reluctantly, you end up going back to the teenagers and occasionally you participate in the conversation. You only want one thing and it’s to go home and ring Eddie or even better, be in his arms.

However, you have to wait until the beginning of the following week to see him again. While you arrive at school, you hear someone calling your name. Turning around, you find Eddie, trotting around, a book in hand. Once he’s in front of you, you realise he’s holding your mathematics textbook.

“You forgot it at my place,” Eddie explains, giving it to you.

“I knew it was weird I hadn’t forgotten something.”

“What would you do without me?”

“You’d be the one lost without me,” you joke.

“True.”

The bell rings, students walk in the building, already bored of their first period.

“Thanks,” you say, pecking his lips without thinking.

You walk to the main entrance as Eddie doesn’t move, startled by your kiss. He didn’t expect your lips to touch his and judging by your lack of reaction, you haven’t realised what you did just yet. Indeed, you only realise you’ve kissed Eddie in front of the entire school once you’re sat in the classroom and you freak out instantly.

During the whole morning, you think back to the kiss. You wonder if a lot of people saw it and if Eddie is mad at you. He’s not the kind of person to get mad, sure, nonetheless you didn’t talk about not hiding your relationship anymore, though you’ve been meaning to tell your parents for quite some time now.

You don’t listen to a single word your teachers say, impatiently waiting for the lunch break to find Eddie. As soon as it’s time, you join him at the picnic table in the woods outside of the school. Without any big surprise, Eddie is already there, he’s probably skipped his last period before the break. He does it so often that you don’t even react to it anymore. You’d be more shocked if he went to all of his classes. As you arrive, Eddie stands up from the bench and he walks to you before hugging you and kissing you.

“We should talk about this morning,” Eddie tells you with a small smile.

“I know, I’m sorry! I don’t know why I did it, I wasn’t thinking.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“Do you know if a lot of people saw us?” you question, biting your nails.

“I have to admit I was too in shock to check this,” he answers, taking your hand out of your mouth.

“Well, at least, now we have an excuse to tell my parents.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m tired of lying and I want them to meet you. If you agree, of course.”

“I totally agree,” he exclaims, clapping his hands together, happy.

“Perfect! You’ll come have dinner at my place one evening. I have to plan it with my parents and I’ll tell you.”

“I hope everything will be okay. I want to make a good impression,” Eddie confesses, putting his hands on your hips.

“Since when do you worry about what people think of you?”

“Since they’re your parents and I don’t want to create problems between you and them.”

“I’m sure they’ll love you. Don’t worry, I’ll plan everything.”

You beam brightly to Eddie then press your lips against his. He kisses you back in the second, bringing you closer to him. 

You can’t wait to introduce Eddie to your parents. Sure, you’re worried they heard about the stupid rumours concerning Eddie, nonetheless you’ll make sure you give them all the right information before meeting him. You want everything to be perfect for their first meeting. 

You still haven’t found the perfect time to talk to your parents about you and Eddie. You wait for the right moment to tell them and as for right now, it doesn’t seem to come. 

Though, it doesn’t prevent you from inviting Eddie to your place when your parents aren’t home. Your father is at work until seven in the evening while your mother is out with her friends, so you have the house to yourself. As it’s the weekend, you’ve decided to call Eddie and he didn’t waste a second before leaving his place.

Fifteen minutes after your call, you hear somebody knocking on your back door. Nimbly, you open to Eddie and you don’t give him a chance to say something before putting your lips on his while dragging him upstairs where your bedroom is. He doesn’t need to be told twice and follows you.

Once you’re in your room, you take his leather jacket off while Eddie starts unbuttoning your dress. Eddie’s lips go from your mouth to your neck and then they lower down to your chest, you enjoy every kiss with your eyes closed. Your hands search for the hem of his tee-shirt as he kisses you again. You’re about to take his shirt off when you feel him being harshly pulled back. Opening your eyes, you find your dad, holding Eddie by the collar and dragging him out of your room.

“Who do you think you are to be in my daughter’s room, you pervert. You better get out of here now or I’ll make sure your hands won’t be able to touch anything ever again,” he yells, dropping Eddie once they’re downstairs.

“Dad, wait!” you beg, running with your dress unbuttoned. “Daddy, please.”

“Don’t 'daddy' me! You better stay out of this. I can’t believe you let a stranger in,” you father reprimand you, appalled. 

“He’s not a stranger, he’s my boyfriend, Eddie is my boyfriend,” you admit, buttoning up your dress.

“Him, your boyfriend?” he questions, staring at Eddie with disgust.

“Hello,” Eddie awkwardly exclaims, “Nice home.”

“What the hell do you have in your head?” your dad resumes, not paying attention to Eddie, “He’s crazy! Don’t you hear what people say?”

“Nothing is true. Daddy, please-”

“No, I don’t want to hear anything,” he cuts you off.

“But daddy, I love him,” you scream, tearing up.

“Love? You’re only seventeen, you know nothing about love,” he claims before turning to Eddie and sending him a dirty look, “You better leave now before I get really mad.”

To emphasise his words, your father grip Eddie by the collar again, opens the door and forces Eddie out of the house while you follow them.

“Y/N…,” Eddie tries to say, yet your dad interrupts him.

“Out of my sight!”

“Go, Eddie,” you softly end up telling him.

Unwillingly, Eddie listens to you, leaving you alone with your dad who is more than angry. The second Eddie left, your father grabs your arm and forces you back inside. You hear him mumbling then he violently closes the door. You manage to get out of his grip and cross your arms on your chest, ready to defend Eddie and your relationship.

“Is this teenage angst? Your rebellious phase? If it is, you’ve rebelled, I’m proud of you, now cut the bullshit,” your dad retorts.

“You judge without knowing anything!”

“How long has this been going on?” he asks, however you stay silent, “How long?”

“Six months, but I was about to tell you,” you admit.

“How kind of you it is to finally think about your parents,” your dad exclaims with irony.

“It’s true, I was about to tell you about me and Eddie.”

“There’s not you and Eddie. You won’t see that boy ever again, he’s no good.”

“If you tried to get to know him-”

“I’ve had enough,” he interrupts you, “He leads a cult and listens to weird music.”

“He leads a Dungeon & Dragons club and it’s not because we don’t exclusively listen to classic music we’re weird! Give him a chance.”

“Oh, I’ve seen enough,” he sighs, massaging his temples, “What were you thinking by bringing a boy in your room? Thank God, I arrived before it went farther! Do you have any idea how irresponsible you are? If you stay with him, you’ll end up pregnant before finishing high school and trust me, he won’t be here to help you raise a child. He can barely take care of himself.”

“You don’t know that.”

“He was held back a year from what I was told.”

“He just had a complicated year.”

“Don’t you want to date someone respectable who comes from a good family with a good economic background?” he replies, annoyed.

“So, this has to do with his economic background, then?” you retort, mad.

“Precisely because he’s only with you for the money you can give him.”

“What? Nonsense! He loves me and I love him,” you affirm.

“That’s what he wants you to believe. If you absolutely want to date a guy, why don’t you go out with Calvin Jones, for example, he’s a nice guy.”

“You’re joking, right? He’s completely stupid.”

“He’s just naive,” your dad corrects and you scoff.

“He thinks Shakespeare was one of our presidents.”

“At least, we know who he is. He’s a good guy.”

“I don’t love him.”

“You have no idea what love is, you’re too young.”

“I don’t even know why I keep talking to you,” you state, going upstairs.

“Come back here, missy,” your dad orders, following you.

“No!” you reply, entering your bedroom.

You don’t have the time to close the door that your father is in your room. Swiftly, he walks to your nightstand and takes your brand new walkman you got for your good grades. 

“What are you doing?” you question.

“You’re grounded for three months, minimum, no more hanging out after school and your new walkman, I’m confiscating it for a month just like your car keys. You better not talk to him again from now on and until the end of your life. You better not even call him, send him letters and at school, he keeps his distance with you, if he even goes to class. And don’t even think of sneaking out, I’m watching you from now on. I was too indulgent with you,” he announces and you feel the rage in your body.

“This is not fair!”

“That’s how it is. Now, stay in your room until we eat.”

Upon those words, your father slams the door and you throw yourself on your bed and scream in frustration on your pillow. Angry tears roll down your cheeks and you don’t even try to wipe them.

You weren’t expecting your dad to meet Eddie that way, his first impression of him is now ruined. Henceforth, he’ll never want to see him ever again and that’s a fact, yet it doesn’t mean you want to break up with Eddie. You know your boyfriend and you know he’s a good guy and contrary to what your dad claimed, you know what love is, you discovered it with Eddie. You have no idea how you can fix the situation. In any case, if you find a way to do it, you won’t be able to do it today. Your father is too beside himself to listen to you. Your only hope is your mother. If you can make her understand who Eddie truly is, she might be able to make him listen to reason. 

Distraught, you stay lying in your bed, staring blankly at your ceiling. Eddie is in your mind, he must feel awful even if it’s not his fault. You wish you could talk to him, notwithstanding your dad is keeping a close eye on your comings and goings, therefore you don’t leave your bedroom.

Once the sun starts going down in the sky, your door softly opens and your mom walks in. she should have been home later, you guess your dad phoned her to tell her about what happened. Your mother looks at you with eyes full of compassion while she gets closer to you, she sits down next to you and puts her hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

“Dad didn’t have to ruin your night with your friends for this,” you say, avoiding her gaze.

“I can always see my friends another day. He told me everything about you and this boy. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Depends, will you listen to me?” you ask without any hope.

“Of course.”

“Eddie is a good guy, mom, I swear. I wouldn’t be dating someone who isn’t.”

“Are you sure you know him very well? From what I’ve been told, he isn’t well respected around town and with what happened today, it’s not making things better for him,” she contradicts with a sweet voice.

“Those are just unfounded rumours. He’s just non-conformist, that doesn’t mean he’s mean. I love him.”

“You think you love him but you’re young. You’re blind by your teenager's feelings.”

Following her comment, your growl in frustration. It’s the third time you’re told you have no idea what love is and you’re sick of it.

“Why do you all think it’s impossible for me to love someone?”

“Because you two are not from the same world. We don’t know either him or his family.”

“If you were a bit more open-minded, you’d know him,” you retort.

“It’s just puppy love, you’ll forget him fast enough.”

“How can you be so sure about it?”

“You’re too different from one another. You should find a boy from a good family.”

“Don’t tell me you want me to date Calvin Jones, too.”

“God, no!” your mother exclaims with her eyes wide open, “He’s cute but he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.”

“It’s Eddie that I love, he’s the one I want, mom,” you confess, sitting on your bed, “It’s serious between me and him, we have plans together,” you inform.

“What are they?”

“He has a band, he wants to launch his career in Los Angeles.”

“Is that why you absolutely want to go to University there?” she questions, sighing, “Don’t let a guy dictate what you should do.”

“That’s not what it is! I wanted to do my studies in Los Angeles way before him.” 

“What about him, does he want to go to University?”

“No, school isn’t really made for him.”

“So, how will you two take care of each other there? It’s not with his band and you studying that you’ll earn a living.”

“I’ll find a job and I have my savings you and dad made for me.”

“Are you sure he doesn’t want-”

“You’re not gonna say this, too!” you interrupt, annoyed, “Is it too hard to believe he wants to be with me because he loves me? He’s not mean, interested in money or I don’t know. Yes, he’s unapologetically himself, even if it means not following what society tells him, it doesn’t make him a bad person, though.”

“Of course, honey, if you say so,” she says, without taking you seriously, “We’re going to eat soon, come set the table.”

You obey your mother and stand up from the bed and follow her to the kitchen. Your conversation with your mom has frustrated you more than the one with your dad. She acted like she was empathising with you nevertheless she didn’t listen to you for one second.

During the whole evening, there’s this tension between you and your parents. Your dad is still mad, talking to you coldly. At first occasion, you run away to your room, not supporting their presence anymore.

On Monday, you can see Eddie at last for the first time since your argument with your parents. He’s already at the picnic table; if there’s one day where he doesn’t like his schedule, it’s during the first day of the week. Upon arriving, you find him focused on his next campaign. As he hears twigs and leaves crunching under your feet, he looks up to you. In an instant, he stands up from the bench and hugs you. Once you’re in his arms, you let go of a sigh, as if you had been holding your breath for the past two days. You hold him tighter as he strokes your back and whispers sweet nothings, your father’s punishment is the last thing on your mind. A few minutes later, you break the embrace then you press your lips on his.

“Are you alright?” he asks with worry, putting his hands on both sides of your face. “I tried calling you, but I didn’t get an answer.”

“My dad is watching the phone and me like a prison guard.”

“I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble with your parents. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m grounded for the next three months. It’s not your fault, Eddie. I didn’t think he’d come back this early,” you reassure him with a small smile.

“I guess your parents aren’t my biggest fan now. I mean, considering the way your dad found us out, I can’t really be mad at him.”

“It doesn’t mean he should judge you harshly.”

“What about your mom, what did she say?”

At the mention of your mother, you sigh, exasperated as you think back to your conversation.

“She acted as if she was listening to me, it was like talking to a wall. They don’t want to hear me out and they don’t want us to be together.”

“It’ll be okay, I’m sure they’ll change their mind,” Eddie promises, kissing your forehead.

“You don’t know my dad. It’d take a miracle for him to have an epiphany. I think it’d be easier to run away,” you propose, almost serious.

“As tempting as it is, I wouldn’t want your parents to hate me even more,” he refuses with a heavy heart.

“This just proves you’re a good person, you prevent me from running away.”

“Oh, trust me, it wouldn’t be hard to make me change my mind, but I don’t want you to get into more trouble because of me. We’ll find a solution, don’t worry.”

Eddie hugs you once more and you stay like this during the first period. It’s not the thing to do, your parents might learn you skip a class, though you don’t care. You’re already grounded, you don’t see how it could get worse than that.

Your day at school is over, you leave the building and you’re about to find Nancy - she offered to drive you home while you don’t have your car - when you hear Sarah and her friend group talking more or less discreetly, you try not to pay attention at first.

“I can’t believe she kissed the Freak last time!” Hannah exclaims.

“I told you they were together. I was sure there was more, they were too close,” Sarah adds.

“I don’t get her, he’s not attractive at all,” her friend comments, frowning. 

“I heard her father tell mine he caught them in her bedroom.”

“You can’t be serious!” another girl says, following Sarah’s information.

“Hell yeah, I am! You’ll see in a few months, she won’t come to class anymore, if you understand what I mean.”

Not supporting those childish stories anymore, you decide to join their group, skirting a few students, among them some Hellfire members.

“Hey, girls, how are you doing?”

“Oh, fine and you?” Hannah questions, her cheeks red.

“I thought you were just talking about me.”

“No, you’re not as interesting as you think,” Sarah retorts.

“Really? That’s too bad, I was about to confirm to you guys I’m having his baby, actually. I’m eight weeks pregnant.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, every single girl’s eyes are wide open just as their mouths are. Some of them let go of a surprised shriek and others put their hands over their lips.

“Wait, you are?”

“No, I’m not, but you should see your faces,” you admit, “Instead of gossiping about my life or Eddie's, you should take care of yours.”

“Gossiping?” Sarah starts, walking towards you, “Honey, I’m just stating facts, it’s not my fault if you can’t handle your new reputation.”

“You know what? If you have nothing better to do, then keep talking. I have other things to do than listening to what you think.”

“We just want what’s best for you,” one of the girls says with empathy.

“So you’re doing all of this out of the goodness of your heart?” you ask with irony. “It means a lot to me, yet it doesn’t change anything. You all are just hypocrites.”

On those words, you leave them, not handling their presence anymore. They won’t learn anything from your exchange, though it doesn’t matter. You never liked them in the first place so losing their so-called friendships is the least of your worries.

In Nancy’s car, you enjoy this moment with a real friend to empty your mind.

During the following weeks, you keep walking on eggshells with your parents. On one hand, you don’t want to be too headstrong about it, on the other, you don’t want to let them think they can forbid you from being with who you love. Consequently, you try not to cause any more drama however whenever there is an occasion, you defend Eddie. Your mother is a bit more open now, though your dad stands on his ground. However, the conflicts with your parents are becoming more regular and you hate every one of them. Nevertheless, you’re your father’s daughter and when you’ve both made your mind to it, you can be very stubborn. 

You and Eddie defy the rules by continuing to see each other, although now you're more cautious about seeing each other away from prying eyes. Eddie didn’t want to get in the middle of it at first, telling himself it’s between you and your parents, though he sees you suffer because of it and that it causes you stress. Before all of this, you were close to your parents. He tried to reason with you by saying you should make up with them, no matter if your relationship is the price to pay for it but you refuse to listen to him. He’s touched by the way you have his back, however he doesn’t like being the reason for a conflict when it’s about you. As a consequence, he’s decided he’ll fix the situation himself. It can’t go on like this so Eddie found your dad’s work number and he called him. It took him a solid minute to figure out who was calling him then he hung on Eddie, not without threatening him again. For all that, it didn’t stop Eddie. He tried calling him several times, in vain. As he understood it wasn’t working, Eddie decided to go see your dad directly. If your dad doesn’t want to listen to him through the phone, he won’t have any other choice but to listen to him in person. He won’t give up until he does.

That’s how Eddie finds himself in front of your dad’s workplace at the end of the day, his van parked close to his car. Your dad recognizes him from afar. He loudly sighs, preparing himself to ignore Eddie. With a big smile on his face, Eddie gets closer to him and holds out his hand. 

“Good evening, I’m Eddie Munson.”

“I know who you are and I thought I had made myself clear last time,” your father answers, looking him up and down, “I don’t want to see you.”

“We started off the wrong foot and I want to change that.”

“Why do you insist so much? Don’t you think you’ve caused enough damage already? My daughter barely talks to me because of you.”

“Actually, it’s because you refuse to listen,” Eddie corrects, making the situation worse. 

“I forbid you from giving me advice on the way I educate my daughter.”

“I’m not here to create problems, I swear!” he argues, preventing your dad from getting in his car.

“Yet, it looks like you are.”

“I just want you to hear me out. I want what’s best for Y/N, that’s all.”

“If it was true, you would leave her alone. Goodbye.”

Eddie doesn't try any longer and lets your dad go, he doesn’t admit defeat though. He will talk to your dad, that’s a promise he made to himself. Eddie gives him a few days off, before going at it again. This time, he chooses to wait for him in front of your house. Once he sees the car coming, he stands straight. Your dad rolls his eyes before getting out of his car.

“This is stalking. I’m going to call the police.”

“If you’d listen to me, I wouldn’t have to do this. Please, I’m just asking for five minutes,” Eddie humbly begs, “After that, you’ll be able to tell me to leave and I will, though I sincerely hope you won’t.”

“You have five minutes, not one more second.”

“Great!” he exclaims, excited before clearing his throat. “I’m aware I didn’t leave a good impression.”

“That’s the least you could say.”

“And,” Eddie resumes, without paying attention to your dad’s comment, “with what people say about me, I understand you don’t want me near your daughter. To be honest, I don’t even know what people say about me these days, the stories are so far-fetched. Anyway, I can assure you the Hellfire club isn’t a cult, if you want, you can even come to one of our meetings to see for yourself. I don’t venerate Satan or anything else. You think we’re too young, though I promise you I love her. I feel things for her I had never felt before.”

“Yes, I gathered that the second I found you in her room.”

Eddie purses his lips, embarrassed by the innuendo. He scratches his neck before talking again.

“I’m not with her for… that. I really love her and I want a future with her, I wanna build a life with her.”

“A life she will fund, isn’t it?”

“No. It’s a fact I won’t be able to live off my music right away, but I’ll work. I’m not with her for the money, I’m in love with her. I know you don’t like my background nevertheless I’m not gonna apologize for this. It’s something I can’t control and besides, even if I didn’t have an easy life, I have a great uncle who takes care of me and I’m grateful for him, he’s doing his best so I can have a good life. Sure, we’re not rolling in the money, however it doesn’t mean I don’t know how to treat your daughter respectfully. Since your fight, she’s sad. She won’t say it, but I know she hates it as much as you. You mean the world to her and she never meant to hurt you by hiding our relationship. She just wanted to be sure it was serious and she wanted you to meet me in good time. Unfortunately, that’s not how it happened. I tried to tell her she shouldn’t go against you as much as she does, yet she doesn’t want to listen to me, that’s why I keep on trying. I don’t care what people think about me, though, she cares what you and your wife thinks. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not perfect, I have flaws and I made mistakes and I’ll make others, but hurting Y/N won’t be one of them,” Eddie states with confidence. “If you give me one chance, I will show you I deserve your daughter.”

Your father looks hard at Eddie, weighing the pros and cons. He doesn’t want to admit it, however Eddie found the right words. He runs a hand over his face, then breathes out before replying. 

“One chance. I agree with you coming to eat at home so we can get to know each other. Don’t ruin it.”

At his words, Eddie holds himself back from jumping in joy. He can’t ruin all his good effort now, so he just smiles.

“I won’t, sir.”

Eddie holds out his hand and your dad shakes it, sealing their agreement. The noise of the front door opening catches their attention. Turning their head toward the door, they see you walking in, your school bag on your shoulder. Once you see them, still shaking their hands, your brows furrow, not understanding what you’re gazing at.

“What’s happening?”

“Eddie came to talk to me,” your dad explains, taking his hand off Eddie’s, “He’s been trying for a few weeks and I finally agreed to listen.”

“Really?”

“I couldn’t handle the way you were tearing each other apart because of me,” Eddie adds.

“And I don’t like the way you're is cutting me out of your life and after hearing Eddie out, I think, maybe, I judged him too quickly. I’m not saying I’m happy you love him, though he knows how to defend himself. You’re still grounded by the way,” your father quickly specifies as he sees your joy on your face, “but I agree on eating with him this Saturday so I can judge if he deserves you or not.”

“Thanks, daddy!” you exclaim, hugging him, “You have no idea how happy I am.”

“I just agreed to get to know him, it doesn’t mean everything is fixed.”

“I’ll prove to you I deserve your daughter,” Eddie promises, strutting. 

“We’ll see about that. Now, go home, she’s still grounded.”

“I’ll show him to the door,” you say.

“You have five minutes.”

You take Eddie’s hand and drag him outside, wanting to enjoy every second you have with him. Eddie is pleased he made things better between you and your dad. 

The minute you’re alone in front of his van, you jump in his arms. Eddie loses his balance for a bit yet he catches you nonetheless then, he holds you tighter. A few seconds later, he takes a step back, wanting to talk seriously with you. You guess this by the way he plays with his hands and searches for his words.

“Everything okay?” you question.

“Yes, I’m happy your dad is giving me a chance. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to talk to him? We could have done it together.”

“I hesitated to tell you however I thought I should be the one doing it; it’d be easier. I mean, I had to fight for three weeks just so he’d listen to more than one sentence. The fact is, we’re on the right track.”

“What’s wrong then? I feel like there’s something else.”

“Yeah, there is,” he admits running a hand over his face, “Look, you probably planned to tell me yourself, to tell me in a beautiful way but I know.”

“You know?” you ask, your brows knitted together.

“Yes and that’s why I wanted to smooth things over with your dad,” Eddie continues, ignoring your confusion, “You’ll need them and you can’t stay on bad terms with them and all of this stress isn’t good for you or the baby,” he says, putting his hand on your stomach.

“The baby?”

“I know you’re pregnant,” Eddie states and you’re getting even more lost.

“What? Eddie, I’m not pregnant,” you inform, taking his hand out of your body.

“You don’t have to lie, I’m not mad. Sure, I panicked when Dustin told me but I’m here for you, no matter your decisi-”

“Eddie!” you interrupt, “I can assure you I am not pregnant. I got my periods a week ago. I don’t know how Dustin could have believed that.”

“He said he heard you say it to some girls.”

Following Eddie’s sentence, you need a second to understand how Dustin could have heard this. As soon as you finally figure it out, your face relaxes and you lightly chuckle.

“Oh, this! No, it was a joke. They were gossiping and I wanted to shut them up.”

“So, you’re not pregnant?” Eddie wants to make sure, still worried.

“No.”

“Thank God, I didn’t tell this to your dad,” he says, sighing in relief.

“Thank God, yeah or you would have been six feet under already and I would have followed you.”

“More scared than hurt. Though, I meant it when I said I’d support you if it ever were to happen.”

“I know you would. That’s why I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You put your hands on both sides of Eddie’s face and he leans in to kiss you. His hands make their way to your hips, bringing you closer. Your kiss doesn’t last long, guessing your dad is watching you through the window. You break the kiss and Eddie gives you one last smile before getting in the van. Before leaving, he opens the car window.

“I told you we’d find a solution. See you Saturday.”

Stranger Things Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

The Slut Of Hawkins | And The Freak - Eddie Munson [2/2]

Stranger Things Masterlist

Part one

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : After months of loneliness because of your reputation being destroyed, Eddie Munson is there for you.

Warning : slutshaming, mention of bullying (reader and Eddie getting bullied) (talk to someone if you're being bullied!), mention of bad relationship with parents, quick mention of drug, trust issues, angst, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.9k

Song inspiration : Bad Reputation by Shawn Mendes

Your detention is over, finally allowing you to run away from a prison to go to another. You bid goodbye to the teacher and leave the school building. The parking lot is empty save some cars.

You’re walking toward the exit when you hear a voice holding you back. Before you have the time to turn around the person is already in front of you, panting. Steve is in front of you, panting. You try to walk past him yet he holds you back.

“What do you want?” you ask, drily.

“I… I just wanted to know… How are you?”

“Because you care now? Leave me alone.” you retort, trying to leave again.

“Y/N, wait!”

“What?”

“I’m sorry for everything that happened.” Steve starts with guilty eyes. “I didn’t mean for things to go that bad.”

“And yet, you did nothing to stop it. And don’t you even dare say I’m wrong.”

“I went to the principal as soon as everything went down with Jessica. I tried to explain the situation, to defend you but he didn’t want to-”

“I stopped waiting for you to take my defence more than a month ago, Steve.” you cut him off, annoyed. “At first, I stupidly thought you’d be on my side, that you’d defend me and you know what you did the first time I was humiliated in front of everyone, including you? You turned around and left me alone. I stopped counting on you a long time ago, Steve.”

“I know I acted like a coward but I want to make amends. It’s been going on for too long.”

“You want some kind of medal for your sudden realisation? It’s too late, Steve! There’s nothing left to do.”

“Y/N, please. You meant a lot to me.”

“It doesn’t feel like it!” you scream, clenching your fists. “You know, one day you told me I’d always be your favourite love, well, I’m telling you, you will always be the one I regret. The beautiful three months we spent together aren’t worth all the pain and the bullying I’ve been receiving.” you say, angry tears in your eyes. “You made me feel more alone than I’ve ever been. You said you wanted to be someone better, you have a lot of work left to do. I sincerely hope you’ll be able to do better. Either way, I don’t want to see it. Now, leave me alone.”

“Please, give me a chance.” Steve begs, grabbing your arm.

You’re about to reply to Steve when a van stops next to you. You both don’t pay attention to it until Eddie Munson’s voice cuts off your conversation.

“Hey, everything alright here?”

“We’re just talking.” Steve informs Eddie.

“Very well. Y/N, I’m still bringing you home tonight, right?”

At Eddie’s question, your eyebrows furrowed. You never talked with Eddie about him bringing you home; actually you never talked with Eddie before. Looking at him more carefully, you understand he’s just offered you a way out from your conversation with Steve. You’re about to accept when Steve beats you to it.

“I can bring her home.”

“Y/N?” Eddie insists.

“I’m going home with Eddie. Stop talking to me, Steve.”

Before Steve can add something else, you get in Eddie’s van without looking back. Eddie starts driving as soon as you close the door. You stay silent for a few seconds while a tear runs down your cheek, Eddie leans toward the glove compartment and takes a tissue before giving it to you. You softly thank him and wipe your cheeks. Once Eddie considers he’s at a good distance from school, he stops and turns to you.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really, no. I’m gonna leave here, there’s a bus soon.” you say, taking your school bag at your feet. “I don’t want to cause you any problems, especially if you’re in a relationship.”

“Good thing I don’t have a girlfriend, then.” he smiles. “And even if I did, I don’t care what they say about you so I don’t mind bringing you home.”

“Thanks.” you say before giving him your address. “Can we wait for a bit before going home? I don’t want to go now.”

“Sure.”

Eddie gives you as much time as you need to get a grip on yourself when you tell him you feel better, he starts driving the car again. You both stay silent almost the whole way home, Eddie supposes you need it; however he wants to put on some music, he clears his throat to catch your attention.

“Do you mind if I put some music on, as a background sound?”

“Not at all, go ahead. It’s your car, you don’t have to ask me.”

“It’s just, you seem lost in your thoughts, I don’t want to interrupt you.” Eddie explains whilst putting on a tape and turning down the volume a little.

“Sorry, I’m not very good company tonight.”

“That’s not what I meant. I guess you had a long day.”

“Let’s not talk about it, let’s talk about you.” you cut him off, turning to him. “Why did you finish school this late? I’m not judging, it’s just I know you’re not a fan of school.”

“That’s the least you can say.” Eddie laughs. “We had a meeting with the Hellfire club, we finished late.”

“What is your club about?”

“According to people outside of Hellfire, we worship Satan. Officially, we play Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Is it some kind of board game?” you question, curious. Edide lightly laughs at your guess.

“It’s a roleplay game.”

“Oh okay. Tell me more.”

Eddie doesn’t need you to ask him twice to start rambling. Instantly, he becomes happy while explaining the universe, the different characters and some of his campaigns. Eddie is the one who does all the talking, your answers are shorts, yet you listen to him carefully.

When you’re finally at your home, he forces himself to stop talking. Eddie parks a bit before your house - to be sure he won’t get you in trouble with your parents as he says with a humorous tone. Your heart tightens at his comment, Eddie, just like you, is a victim of the spitefulness of teenagers your age. You glance at your house before grabbing your bag and turning to Eddie.

“Thank you.” you say before pausing. “For bringing me home and for defending me last time.”

“Well, it wasn’t very useful considering they didn’t listen to me.”

“Sure but you were the only one on my side so just know, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Eddie genuinely replies.

“I’m not gonna bother you any longer.”

You leave Eddie’s van though before you can walk away, Eddie leans toward the car window from the passenger side and opens it.

“Y/N, wait! I noticed you never eat at the cafeteria for lunch. If you want, you’re welcome at the Hellfire table.” he invites you, warming your heart.

“It’s very nice but I don’t like eating at the cafeteria with others.”

“Well, just so you know, in the woods behind school, there’s a picnic table almost no one knows about. I eat there sometimes. We can eat there tomorrow.”

“I… I’ll think about it.” you promise with a small smile. “Good evening, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles back at you while you slowly walk to your front door. When Eddie is sure you’re home safe, he leaves your street, going back to the trailer park.

From that night on, Eddie pays more attention to you. Of course, he’s heard all their rumours and all the variants. Yet, Eddie is known for not blindly following what he’s told about someone else. It’s been a long time since he’s wanted to talk to you; he knows all too well how isolating having this kind of reputation can be. Nevertheless, he didn’t know how to start a conversation with you, after all, you had never really talked before until he came to your rescue the last time you talked with Steve.

After a week of analysis, Eddie’s noticed some of your defence mechanisms. The first one he noticed before he even talked with you is that you never eat with someone else - he has some ideas on where you might go hiding to eat. He also knows you always take the long way home to avoid everyone; no matter if it’s to go to class or to go home. He knows this whole situation doesn’t stop at school, it also happens in your own home. Eddie wants to give you some support like he would have liked to have the first time he got bullied.

It’s actually the reason why he decides to wait after your detention again. He wants to talk with you without having someone interrupting you or making you run away. As soon as you leave school, Eddie gets out of his van and makes you a sign. You frown before walking toward him, slightly embarrassed.

“Were… were you waiting for me?”

“I wanted to see if you need a drive home.” Eddie proposes.

“I take the bus. Last time was an exception, not that I didn’t appreciate by the way.”

“I know but I thought that maybe I could bring you home every day.” he explains, pointing at his van. “As your detention always finishes late. And I can even make some detours so you don’t have to go home right away.”

“Why?” you ask, on the lookout.

“I noticed-”

“No, why are you proposing?” you specify, interrupting him. “You seem nice but we don’t know each other, I don’t know why you’d want to bring me home when you could leave school earlier.”

“I just want to.” he replies with a genuine tone. “Plus, last time, you said you’d eat with me and I waited the whole afternoon for you which isn’t very nice so you kinda owe me.” he jokes, making you smile.

“I said I’d think about it, I never confirmed anything.”

“True and maybe you didn’t come because you had some homework to do or just because we don’t know each other that’s why I thought that by being your driver, we could become friends and maybe you’d be less hesitant at the idea of eating with someone.” Eddie admits, yet, you stay sceptical. “Y/N, I swear I’m being honest here, I’m not trying to trap you.” he adds, taking a step towards you. “If you don’t want to, I leave you alone. If you agree but then you change your mind, I leave you alone, too. I’m just offering my service, nothing more.”

You stare at Eddie, trying to decipher him. You know Eddie’s reputation and no matter what people say about him, the fact is, he’s one of the rare people from school who never put you down and the only one who defended you in front of everyone. You feel like he means his words. You have no reason to doubt, but you can’t help it. Your mind shows you every worst case scenario, trying to prove you this situation could get worse. However, your guts tells you to trust him for some reasons. 

“Fine, I accept.” 

At your answer, a big smile takes place on Eddie’s face then he runs to dramatically open the door of the passenger side. You laugh at his antics before getting in his van.

This time, on the way home you’re more talkative. You ask him some questions about Dungeons And Dragons before the conversation goes to more basic topics. You enjoy Eddie’s eccentric personality. He makes you laugh out loud, something you hadn’t done the past two months. You’re even disappointed when you see Eddie stopping in your street,  you wish you could talk with him more. You thank him before leaving his van and going home with a genuine smile on your face.

During the following weeks, your friendship with Eddie is only composed of the conversations you two have when he brings you home. You know Eddie a bit better now and you have to admit, thanks to him, life at school is more enjoyable. You haven’t dared eating with him at the picnic table so far - that doesn’t mean you don’t want to, though.

Everytime he asks you, you want to accept, except you can’t help but think about what people could say about you if they saw you going to the woods with Eddie. A new rumour could start in a second. Things are finally calming down, you can’t risk going back to square one. Nevertheless, the more the time passes, the more you want to spend it with Eddie, therefore, on the day of your last detention, you finally decide to abandon the janitor's closet and walk to the woods. Eddie is already at the table, he’s started to eat his sandwich. The second he hears someone coming to him, he raises his head. Once he sees you, he gives up his sandwich and claps his hands.

“Ladies and gentlemen, she has come!” he says solemnly. “My God, I was afraid to eat all by myself once more.”

“Feels pathetic, right?” you laugh whilst Eddie invites you to sit down in front of him. “I thought that I refused your invitation too many times, I was afraid you’d refuse to bring me home in return.”

“Never.” Eddie affirms while you take out your lunch. “I like you too much to let you go.”

“So that’s your refuge when you don’t eat at the cafeteria?”

“Pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“More than the janitor’s closet.” you confirm.

“Is that where you usually eat?”

“At least, I run into no one.” you inform, starting to eat. “Eddie, can I ask you a question?” you ask after a pause.

“Tell me.”

“How do you do it? I mean, people have been saying awful things about you for years and I don’t feel like it’s hurting you. Maybe I’m wrong and you just hide it very well. Either way, I’d like to know.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, at first, it was hard.” he confesses, avoiding your gaze. “I couldn’t stop thinking I must be the problem, if I weren’t like this maybe people wouldn’t say that. If I didn’t dress a certain way maybe they’d like me more.” Eddie adds, playing with his sandwich. “I spent the whole elementary school trying to find a reason, trying to find a way to be accepted until I realised they weren’t worth it.” he affirms, looking up at you. “I understood their opinions didn’t matter because they weren’t important to me. I understood I’d rather live like I wanted to rather than change myself and lose myself. At first, I felt alone until I met other outcasts like me. When people invent stories about you, it isolates you from the others and it creates damage; however the important thing to do is to be surrounded by the right people.”

“Beside you, I have no one.” you admit, sadly.

“Hellfire would be happy to have you.”

“Your friends don’t know me.”

“And I’m sure they’d like you if they did.”

“Maybe later.”

“Claiming back the insults they give you can help, too, you know.” Eddie specifies. “You can’t let their words hurt you. You have to create strength out of it. Now I can say I’m a freak and I’m proud of it.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know, it’s an everyday work but you can do it.” Eddie encourages you, standing up to be next to you. “You have to take the strength away from these words. They hurt you because you think they’re negatives but if you make them something positive, they won’t have any more insults to tell you.”

“You’re not seriously suggesting that I say I’m slut and I’m proud of it?” you question, panicked. 

“I don’t want you to say, I want you to yell it.” he corrects.

“You’re stupid.”

“Come on, do it.” Eddie orders, forcing you to stand up.

“I’m not gonna do it.” you retort, crossing your arms on your chest. “I’ve spent months trying to get rid of this label, I’m not gonna put it on myself.”

“You should do it, it’ll free you.”

“I’m still not convinced.”

“Do you trust me or not?” Eddie asks, determined.

“Yeah but-”

“Then do it.” Eddie interrupts, uncrossing your arms.

“I’m a slut and I’m proud.” you say without much conviction.

“Louder!”

“I’m a slut and I’m proud.” you repeat a bit louder.

“Again!”

“I’m a slut and I’m proud!” you finally scream.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Eddie yells while you smile because of his silliness. “Your smile is pretty by the way, you should show it more.”

Eddie means his words. He adores seeing you smile just like he loves hearing you laugh. By observing you these past few weeks, he quickly realised you usually keep a neutral expression - except the day you can’t hide your pain. He makes it his personal mission to give you back your smile. He wishes someone would have done the same for him when the bullying started. Eddie likes to think he makes your days a bit more bearable as well as your evenings when he brings you home.

The minute you leave your last detention, you hand back your essay on bullying to Mr. Kaminski with a big smile on your face. After a whole month, you’re finally free. You bid your teacher goodbye before running away from the place. As you walk through the corridor, your smile gets bigger when you think of what you’re going to say to Eddie about your last detention. Your turn in a new hallway where your locker is when you notice someone around it. Your smile fades and you trot towards the person, thinking you’ll find the one who is tagging your locker. At your surprise, you don’t find anyone from the basketball team nor Jessica but Eddie as he tries to scrub with a towel the insult which was written the day before.

“What are you doing?” you question, startling Eddie.

“My God, you scared me! I’m cleaning your locker. What do you think I’m doing?” he answers as if it was obvious whilst showing the towel in his hand.

“It’s very nice, I just didn’t ask you to do it.”

“I know.”

“You can stop, the janitor will take care of it tomorrow, as he always does.”

“You’ll wait a long time.” Eddie laughs as he keeps washing off.

“What do you mean?”

“The janitor is not the one who cleans these horrors off your locker. I do. And sometimes, I can also get rid of some notes that stick out.” Eddie informs, surprising you.

“Wh- why?”

“You don’t deserve to have your locker tagged.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was doing this out of interest.”

Eddie looks into your eyes as he says his last sentence while your heart misses a beat. You didn’t know Eddie cared since the beginning. He’s always been kind to you and thanks to him, you’ve been feeling better. He’s one of the rare good things that’s happened to you; his friendship is precious to you. You don’t know what you would have become without him. You keep gazing at each other lovingly until Eddie clears his throat.

“I’m almost done. And no, you can’t help me.” he quickly adds as you were about to reply. “Wait for me in the van, I only need a few more minutes.”

Eddie’s keys in hands, you get closer to him and kiss his cheek before muttering ‘thank you’. Eddie’s heart jumps at this contact. He stupidly smiles while you leave the building.

After that day, you let your guard down, allowing yourself to fully trust Eddie. Besides your friendship going to the next level, you feel like this whole thing with Steve is behind you. You believe you can have some kind of normal life. At least, it’s the case at school, your parents aren’t over it, they keep talking about it and since they’ve discovered your friendship with Eddie - once again because of Miss. Johnson, your neighbour - it’s worse. Thankfully, Eddie’s support makes things easier.

As a consequence, you accept to do the one thing you’ve been avoiding the past three months: eating at the cafeteria. You feel ready to face the potential stare from the others - with Eddie’s support, obviously. Before walking through the cafeteria’s door, Eddie makes sure you’re okay before putting a hand on your back and inviting you to take the first step. At first, no one notices you which makes you sigh in relief. However, as soon as you arrive at the Hellfire table, some people start whispering whilst pointing at you. You ignore it while Eddie introduces you to his friend.

Lunch goes smoothly until Jessica and her friends walk by you.

“Wow, the slut and the freak, they’re a good fit for each other! She’s probably with him out of interest, if you know what I mean.” she says whilst bringing an imaginary joint to her lips.

You don’t pay attention to it, knowing all too well it’d be a waste of your time to face them. Furthermore, you don’t want to go back to detention once more. You focus back on what Eddie is saying about his last campaign, listening in silence. During the whole time, you stay silent, not understanding half of their references. The few ones you get are thanks to Eddie who’s introduced you to Star Wars and some other universes he likes.

“Are you gonna be there for the next Hellfire session?” Josh asks you.

“Oh, huh, I don’t think so. I’ve never played DnD.”

“You should come.” another person from the club replies.

“See, I told you they would like you to come.” Eddie says with a satisfied smile.

“I’ll think about it then.”

“Let’s talk about you.” Nick starts. “Is it true what people say? I gotta admit I don’t know how you could have dated Harrington. This guy is superficial and according to what Eddie told us, you’re totally different from him so I don’t see why you’d want to steal him from Nancy. Besides, even about Nancy, I…”

You don’t let Nick finish his sentence before trotting out of the cafeteria. You’re tearing up as you go through different corridors, not knowing where you want to go. Eddie goes after you, not without glaring at his friend. Eddie screams your name while he runs behind you but you don’t listen to him. You get closer to the school exit when Eddit catches you. He puts his hands on your shoulder before standing in front of you.

“Let me go, Eddie.” you order, getting out of his grip.

Eddie raises his hands to show he doesn’t want to hurt you. He keeps a good distance from you before talking.

“Don’t listen to what he said. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“It’s not about what he said.” you specify. “He said nothing wrong technically. It just shows that even if the rumours aren’t spreading as much, everyone still thinks about it. Your friends talk about it, people point at me, even my parents still talk about it ! And now that we hang together, I’m afraid they’ll talk about you, too.”

“You know I don’t care what they say.” Eddie reassures you.

“I do! You had to face this for too long and I don’t want to be the reason you receive new insults. Besides, until everyone forgets all about it, they’ll always find a reason to call me a slut again. New rumours are probably already spreading thanks to Jessica.”

“Don’t listen to her. You remember what we talked about, you’re a slut and you’re proud of it so we don’t care about her.”

“I care.” you retort, firmly. “She almost ruined my school year and my relationship with my parents is at its lowest since our fight. And now, they know we’re friends and they start criticising me again. I felt like everything was going fine but now, it still seems so fragile, as if everything could go back to what it used to be in an instant.”

“It won’t be the case.” Eddie promises you, getting closer to you. “Plus, you’re not alone. You got me.”

“Why do you insist so much? We didn’t even know each other before all of this.”

“It’s true and at first, I wanted to talk to you to be sure you weren’t going through all of this alone but now, I care about you. I like you a lot and-”

“That’s what you say now until the day you’ll be fed up with all of this.” you interrupt him, having a flashback from your relationship with Steve.

“Y/N, I mean it when I say I don’t care what they say about you. I know they gave you a bad reputation because of your relationship. They don’t know what you’ve been through and Steve didn’t know how to be here for you but I’m not like him. You probably have some issue trusting me but have some faith in me when I say I’m not like them and that I like you a lot.” he affirms, putting his hand on your cheek. “You know I only follow my own rules and I’ll need more than a few rumours to make me run away.”

“I-”

“I know you’re scared to be hurt again and it’s okay.” he cuts you off, “but I promise you, I will always be by your side and trust me when I tell you I could be the one to treat you right, unlike the others, I know you’re an amazing girl and I don’t want to lose my chance. You mean a lot to me and I’m not gonna let you slip through my fingers because of some brainless teenagers.” Eddie says and you take a step back. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared. Don’t let go because of this reason. You can’t let them dictate your life anymore.”

“I thought I was ready but I’m not.” you inform, going backward. “Sorry, Eddie.”

And on those words, you leave school. You don’t care if you have some classes left, you need to get away. You need to take a step back from this whole situation. Eddie lets you go with a heavy heart, understanding your reasons.

The following day, you avoid Eddie like the plague, you know you got scared and the way you pushed Eddie away isn’t fair, considering everything he’s done for you but you can’t help it. Everything went downhill without a warning last time and you never want to go through this again so you preferred to run away before it could get worse. 

Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean you’re not hurting. You miss Eddie. You knew you cared about him though before avoiding him, you didn’t know just how much. You have to stop yourself from running to him; you just want to be in his protective arms like the time you brokedown the first time you came to his place. You need him more than you imagined. And this feeling of missing him doesn’t get better when you discover a note in your locker. At first, you think about throwing it away, fearing another insult except you recognise Eddie’s handwriting. Your heart tightening, you open it and read it:

“Y/N, 

I know why you pushed me away but please, think about it before isolating yourself once more. You know it’s not good. I’m here for you and I always will be, even if you only talk to me in thirty years. You mean a lot to me so I will always be by your side during the good and the hard times, especially during the hard ones.

I miss my friend. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile. I need my friend. All I need is you.

Please, don’t cut me out of your life because you’re scared of getting hurt or what people might say about me. I just want you, I don’t care about them. 

Eddie”

After ignoring him for more than a week, you can’t stay away from Eddie any longer, you miss your friend too much. Eddie’s little note worked on you, though you try to deny it at first.

While you’re leaving school, you see Eddie close to his van talking to a Hellfire member. You watch him from afar, searching for what you want to tell him. The second you think you know what to say, you start walking toward him as you keep your eyes on his figure. You’re only a few metres away when his friends leave, allowing Eddie to notice you; he smiles as soon as he sees you. Eddie is about to talk to you when you put your hands on his cheeks and press your lips on his. Eddie is stunned at first then he kisses you back, enjoying your touch. You can hear some people talking around you but you don’t pay attention, only deepening the kiss. Eddie feels his heart exploding as he realises that for the first time in a while, you do something you want without caring what people might say about you. Eddie hands go from your hips to your cheeks, bringing you closer to him. Once you’re out of breath, you regretfully break the kiss, you have an idiotic smile on your face as you take in the moment.

“I don’t care what they say either. I just want you and that’s all that matters.” you affirm. “They can talk all they want, as long as I have you, I don’t care.”

Part one

Stranger Things Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Back To Life - TASM!Peter Parker

Marvel Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Summary : Your mom and May set you and Peter up on a date, thinking you'll be a good match but both of you think it won't work.

Warnings : mention of Gwen's and Uncle Ben's deaths, mention of toxic relation (no details), anxiety, a bit of angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.1k

French version

Song inspiration : Electric Touch by Taylor Swift Feat. Fall Out Boys (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault)

Your clothes are scattered everywhere in your room; it looks like there has been a tornado though it doesn’t stop you from looking for the perfect outfit in your closet. Wrapped in a bathroom towel, despair takes over your body, you should have never listened to your mom. At least, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You grunt when someone knocks on your bedroom door, you tell the person to come in and your mom enters.

“You’re still not ready? He’s coming in thirty minutes!”

“Yes, mom, I know!” you drily retort before taking a softer voice, “Sorry. I just don’t know what to wear, I’m getting fed up.”

“Just put on something you feel good in.”

“Easier said than done! I only find flaws in my clothes. I don’t even know why I listened to you in the first place. I don’t even know him and we already have a date. This guy might be awful.” you start to ramble, pacing around your room. “I mean, you don’t even really know him either. You only know what your colleague May told you. Maybe she made him better than he actually is!”

“I might not know him personally, though I’ve seen him several times and do I need to remind you you saw him once, too. You even found him cute.”

“I saw him for five minutes, two years ago, it doesn’t count.”

“I’m sure Peter is a nice guy.” your mom affirms, stroking your cheek to calm you down. “Just to prove it to you, whenever May forgets her lunch, he always brings it to her with a big smile on his face and a kiss on the cheek. He always comes with her at work when it’s dark. And every time I talked with him, he was really polite. Do you seriously think I would have set you up on a date with the first guy I found? I have some instincts, sweetheart.”

“I’m still not convinced. We only exchanged, like, three messages and it was just to make sure it was still okay for today. Besides, maybe he won’t like me. And even if it works out tonight, who knows if it’ll last? I got a history of stories ending badly. That’s it, I’m not going, it’ll be for the better.” you state, taking your phone but your mom takes it from your hands.

“You’re not gonna cancel. Just breathe, just relax, it’ll be okay.” she tells you softly. “Look, I know your last relationship with George went bad and you suffered a lot because of it but you can’t keep closing your heart to new people because you’re scared you’ll find another version of him. Furthermore, even if things didn’t match between you and Peter, which I know won't be the case, you would have at least taken a step forward, you don’t have to be worried. Come on, put this on and you’ll see, you’ll be beautiful and at ease in your clothes.” your mom adds as she gives you a mid-length dress. “I have to go to work. Text me when you’re home, okay? Be careful. It’s going to be okay, sweetheart, I’m sure.”

Your mom kisses you one last time on the forehead before leaving your room. You let go of a sigh then finish getting ready. While doing your makeup, you can’t help but keep checking your phone, waiting for a potential message from Peter telling you the date is cancelled. Your mom managed to calm your anxiety down, yet your fear quickly came back once you’re alone again. For you, this date can only end in two ways: either it ends badly and it’ll break your heart, which is most likely to happen, or everything will be good and your heart will finally heal, which you doubt. You wonder if Peter is in the same state of mind as you.

The answer is easy: his state of panic is worse than yours. He only agreed to this date to make Aunt May happy. Since Gwen’s death, he has closed himself off but now, he wants to make an effort. However, among those efforts, ‘going out with other people’ wasn’t part of it, especially if it ends up putting another person he loves in danger; he can’t reproduce what happened with Gwen. At first, he tried to get out of it, though May insisted so much that he gave in. He sees this date as his last chance to check if he can have a romantic life whilst being Spider-man. He’d love for it to work just one time yet he can’t help but be pessimistic about it. 

Knowing you’re only meeting at the end of the day, Peter decided to go on his daily patrol earlier. Nothing much stands out of the ordinary, therefore, he comes home just on time to get ready. At least, no matter if this date is catastrophic, he’s sure he’ll be on time.

Entering his room, he takes off his Spider-man suit and takes a shower. In his closet, he takes the first outfit he finds then he starts panicking. 

“It’s a first date, I can’t wear whatever clothes I find,” he tells himself. 

He’s about to change when he wonders why he’s overthinking this much when he knows it’s not gonna work out. You’re probably not going to like him or vice-versa. So, he puts back on his black t-shirt and takes a glance at himself in the mirror. His outfit is casual, maybe too casual for a first date. He should add a jacket. He can’t tell the difference it makes. He has no idea if his outfit is okay. After all, he doesn’t want to try too much but on the other hand, he wants to try a bit, you deserve to have a date with a guy who is presentable. He ends up changing his black t-shirt for a dark blue one. It’s less sad, isn’t it? As soon as he checks the time, he realises he can’t think any longer and goes to do his hair. May interrupts him to tell him she’s leaving for work.

“You look cute like this, I’m sure Y/N will agree with me.”

“Don’t know.” Peter mutters, turning around to be in front of May.

“Believe me, it’s already the case. Her mom told me you caught her eyes.” She affirms with a big smile.

“It doesn’t mean this date will go well. I’m not even sure I want to go out with someone else, Aunt May.”

“Peter, I know Gwen’s death has been hard on you but you can’t stay stuck in a world where Gwen is with you,” May starts as she puts her hands on her nephew. “You have to move on. That doesn’t mean you’re going to forget her. Gwen will always be in your heart and that’s normal, but it doesn’t mean you can’t let another person in. Besides, this date doesn’t have to end with a relationship. I’m already proud to see you allow yourself to move on despite the pain.”

“I miss her.” Peter whispers.

“I know, honey.”

“Do you think pain ever stops?”

“I think it becomes easier to live with it,” May softly answers. “You know, now I can think about your Uncle Ben without feeling my heart breaking completely. I can think about the good memories first before remembering he’s not here anymore. It’ll be okay for you, too, Peter. I’m sure of it.”

Peter smiles one last time at his aunt while she leaves the room. When Peter is ready, he checks his phone and sees you haven’t cancelled last minute, so he has no other choice than leaving to take the subway. Technically, he should be at your place at 7:00 P.M. sharp so you can go to a dinner which is fifteen minutes away from your home. 

In the subway, Peter’s stress gets higher and higher as he thinks about what he could say to you, after all, he doesn’t know you. Your conversations might be empty and if it’s the case, it’s going to be a very very long date. As he thinks about a question he could ask you as an icebreaker, the subway abruptly stops. Peter looks through the windows and he sees they haven’t arrived at the next station yet. Suddenly, a voice interrupts Peter’s interrogations as it informs them:

“Dear passengers, we are currently having some technical difficulties. We are doing everything we can to fix the situation as quickly as possible. We apologise for this inconvenience.”

Peter sighs once he hears this information. He is going to be late. Great. He takes his phone out of his pocket to text you but, of course, he doesn’t have a signal.

For him, this breakdown is like a sign, he shouldn’t have accepted to go out with someone. Even if all of this doesn’t end like Gwen, the fact is, it won’t work, it’s for certain. He’d like not to suffer again, yet Peter feels like he’s allergic to happiness. 

Peter tries to calm down his anxiety as he thinks back to Aunt May’s words and puts his phone away before waiting until the situation is fixed. 

As for you, you’re waiting for Peter, sitting on your living room couch. It’s almost seven, he should be here any minute now. From time to time, you glance at the window but you don’t see him. The more the time goes by, the more you’re fidgeting. 

“Just breathe, just relax, it’ll be okay”, your mother’s words resonate in your head in vain.

Your eyes go from the window to your phone, both of them bring you no news about Peter’s whereabouts. You start biting your lips, imagining the worst case scenarios. Maybe he stood you up? No, your mom assured you he was a nice guy, he wouldn’t do it. Maybe you gave him the wrong address? You check your messages and discover you made no mistake. Maybe you were wrong on the day and time of the date? Once again, your messages prove you wrong. Maybe something bad happened to him, then? No, you can’t start imagining awful things. He’s just late, nothing else. Right?

You wait a little bit more and when it’s half past seven, you text him to know where he is. You don’t get an answer. You start biting your nails whilst your heart begins to race in your chest, the stress getting out of hand, you don’t understand what’s happening and you start second-guessing this date. It was clearly a mistake, you should have never agreed to it. You would have loved for it to work for once however it seems like you’re doomed. You were right, you are going to have your heart broken and this date will end badly - if Peter ever shows up.

After being stuck for forty minutes in the subway, Peter finally arrives at your station. He weaves in between people as he runs so he isn’t any later than he already is. Five minutes later, he sees your house from afar. As soon as he passes by your living room window,  you see him running like he’s being chased by something. Checking your phone, you see it’s 8:05. He’s more than an hour late, at that realisation, you roll your eyes. He better have a good excuse. You have already had guys who weren’t punctual, you don’t need another one! 

Once he’s at your door, he quickly runs a hand in his hair, takes a deep breath before knocking. He waits for a moment before you open the door. As soon as he sees you, Peter is mesmerised by your beauty so he just stands there, saying nothing. When you give him a look, he snaps back before speaking. 

“I’m so sorry for being late. I was stuck in the subway and-”

“I would have appreciated a text.” you interrupt him, drily.

“I didn’t have a signal. I got one once I arrived at the station. Normally, I’m always on time, I swear. I’m sorry I made you wait. You probably thought I stood you up which is totally normal but I didn’t. I tried to come here as soon as I could when the subway worked again.” Peter explains and you can tell he’s being sincere. “I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I? I didn’t mean it. I totally get it if you don't want us to go out.”

“I still want to. The subway broke down, it’s not your fault,” you reassure him with a smile.

Upon hearing your sentence, Peter smiles back at you. Even if he wasn’t excited to go out with you, he made a commitment to you and he always makes sure to fulfil his promises.

You take your bag and close your front door. Peter lets you walk first and you go to the diner. On the way there, you ask Peter a few more questions about the subway breakdown, not really knowing what topic is best to bring first.

Once you’re at your table, you keep doing small talk. Just by looking at you two, people could tell you’re not at ease, you don’t know how to act toward the other. None of you is ready to have a deep conversation. It's as if you have forgotten how to act on a first date. You even think about making up an excuse to leave. The conversation is awkward until you order your food. After talking about yet another random topic, Peter sighs before talking: 

“I’m sure this situation is as awkward for you as it is for me. Your mom and my aunt set us up but it doesn’t mean it has to feel like this. I don’t know for you, but it’s my first date in a long time and I’m a bit rusty. My last relationship ended…, let’s just say, tragically, and so maybe we don’t really need to put big expectations for tonight. We should just get to know each other without expecting anything in particular and just see where it leads us, if that’s okay with you?”

“That’s okay with me.” you agree, letting go of a sigh of relief. “My last relationship ended badly, too. It was pretty toxic and I have to admit I need to warm up to new people first.”

“Let’s take it slowly then. No need to have a big romantic date, let’s just have a nice moment with someone new. What do you say?”

“I say I agree with you.”

From that moment on, the tension leaves your table, letting you get to know each other in peace. Peter asks some questions about the last book you read and quickly, you start talking about your interests, no matter if you have them in common or not. 

In the end, you spend a good moment together. You hadn’t laughed that much in a long time. Peter is instantly enamoured by your laugh, loving the way your face brightens. Peter talks a bit about him and you have to admit you like his personality more and more. You mom was right, Peter is genuinely nice. At some points, you both mention your last relationship, without going into too much detail. You still have a long way to go, though you’re not against the idea of walking side by side.

After eating, you stay a bit longer at the restaurant, not noticing the time going by. When you leave, it’s past 10:00 P.M. As soon as you’re outside, you shiver because of the cold night. Peter notices it and offers you his jacket. At first, you refuse, but he insists so you accept it. As he puts his jacket on your shoulder, his right hand brushes past your shoulder and you shiver again, yet  this time, it’s not because of the cold, your heart also beats faster yet, not because of your anxiety. His touch is like electricity and upon raising your head, you see how close Peter is to you and you think about how even more beautiful he is at this distance. You try not to show anything as you start walking to your place.

On the way home, you keep talking and you wish this moment would never end. You never thought you’d feel this connected to a man this quickly. As for Peter, he never thought he would let himself look tenderly at another woman who isn’t Gwen. Aunt May was right, Gwen will always be in his heart however he’s not as against the idea of letting someone new in as he used to be. Maybe not right away, but if you were to find your way to his heart, he would be happy about it.

Once you’re in front of your door, you give Peter his jacket back and you secretly hope to touch his hand but the clothes prevent you from doing it. You smile at Peter as he finishes talking about his theory about the multiverse. 

“It was really nice tonight. I didn’t think I would have such a great time.” he smiles.

“Me neither. I had some apprehension.”

“I get it.”

“You know, I wouldn’t mind doing something like this again,” you start, avoiding his gaze, “I’d be happy to see where this leads us, even if we’re taking our time.”

“I’d be happy about it, too. Do you think it’s too soon to tell you you’re stunning? I’ve been thinking about it all evening and I just thought I should tell you before leaving and regret not telling you.”

At his compliment, your cheeks heat up while a smile makes its way on your face which Peter finds more than cute. Knowing he made you smile warms his heart.

“It’s not too soon, I appreciate the compliment. You’re cute, too. And do you think it’ll be too soon if I kissed your cheek?” you ask and Peter freezes. Instantly, you regret your question and you don’t know what to do with yourself. “Sorry, I went too far, I shouldn’t have.”

“I just didn’t expect this but I wouldn’t mind.”

A bit embarrassed, you get closer to Peter and put your hand on his cheek before kissing his right one. Feeling your touch on his skin, Peter can’t breathe for a second. He didn’t think your touch would be this electric on his skin. The kiss was short yet it’s already engraved in his memory. He knows he’s going to think about it every second of the day. When you back up, you wish him a good night before entering your house. Peter stands there until your door is closed, then he leaves your porch, a big smile on his lips. 

You both lovingly think back to the evening you’ve just had. You know it’s only the beginning, though you already know one just like the other will know how to bring your heart back to life. You already want to see each other again and maybe it’ll take some time to allow yourself to fully fall in love again, but you don’t mind. For once, you know it’s going to end well.

Marvel Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

The Slut Of Hawkins - Steve Harrington [1/2]

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You're paying for the consequences of dating Steve Harrington.

Warnings : italics are for flashbacks, Slutshaming, school bullying (reader getting bullied) (talk to someone if you're being bullied!), implied sex, Steve is a bit of a coward, bad relationship with parents, angst, sad ending, fighting.

Word count : 3.5k

Song inspiration : Because I Liked A Boy by Sabrina Carpenter

The laughs were filling the fresh air of the early night. Laying on your backyard trampoline, you were cuddling against Steve. You had been getting closer recently and you had to admit, it made you feel good to have someone to talk to, especially when your parents weren’t there - which was pretty often, that night was another proof.

Steve held you a bit tighter in his arms while you were talking about your favourite singers. You had said some names like Madonna, Bowie though, it was the mention of The Beatles that caught his attention.

“The album Help! is definitely my favourite.” Steve informed you.

“Same for me, I love all of the songs but You’re Going To Lose That Girl and It’s Only Love have a special place in my heart.” you said whilst Steve looked away. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just that It’s Only Love was our song, to me and Nancy.”

“You really loved her, didn’t you?”

“She was my first love. Unfortunately, it ended pretty badly. It became complicated after her best friend Barbara disappeared. Besides, I have to admit, I was at fault, too but I’m trying to be better.”

“I’m sure you will.” you affirmed hugging him a bit more against you. “You’re not the same Steve you used to be. We wouldn’t be here, otherwise. You’re a good person, Steve, don’t doubt it for a second.” 

“Thanks for what you just said.” Steve smiled at you.

“Anyway, what do you think of I Need You?”

“Not really my favourite.”

“Steve Harrington, I am appalled! How dare you say this kind of stuff?” you exclaim, faking shock.

“You asked for my opinion.”

“And you were supposed to agree with me.”

“I don’t like it, it’s not my fault.”

“You just don’t get this song. You’ll see, you’ll be a fan of it one day, I’ll make sure of it.” you stated looking at him right in the eyes.

“I’m dying to see that.”

Your lips were only a few inches away. You didn’t dare to make the first step, even if you were dying to, you were too afraid to have read too much in between the lines. You liked Steve a lot, but you weren’t sure he wanted the same thing. Steve looked at you with stars and tenderness in his eyes, yours were quite similar. You both were waiting to see which one would bend first. Steve was the one who ended up breaking the inches by pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were moving slowly, taking in this innocent moment of the beginning of your relationship.

Now, the innocence is gone. Once you close your locker door, the word “slut” is written in big letters, reminding you of the price you had to pay for this moment. Who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless? 

Far away, Steve is watching you. However, the second you turn your head toward him, he looks down and goes in the opposite direction. It’s been the same thing for a month. You are called names and Steve turns a blind eye. You are accused of being a homewrecker and Steve receives sympathy for the pain you supposedly caused him.

During the day, you keep your head low, not wanting to draw more attention to you. Unfortunately, the insults just like the degrading pieces of paper keep coming your way. The only moment of peace you have is during lunchtime. 

At first, you hid in the bathroom then you ended up running into some girls who made you understand they weren’t on your side so you went to find a safe place in the janitor closet. At least, no one can bother you there. You don’t like the way you accepted the bullying however every time you tried to explain the situation, no one listened to you. So, now, you don’t say anything and you let people tell you who you are, hoping this story will end soon. 

In the afternoon, you have chemistry. As you got used to the past month, you sit at the end of the class, wanting to be far away from your classmates' judging look. You do your best to stay focused on the lesson but you have to admit since the beginning of the rumours, your grades have been falling. You keep your energy to survive the comments so you don’t have enough of it to keep your grades high.

While you finish writing what Mr. Kaminski just said, he announces you’ll work in pairs. Right away, your stomach twists and you want to throw up. You can’t work in pairs. You’ve never been a fan of group projects however now you hate it; it’s an open door to being called names nonstop for a whole hour. The teacher informs he’s already made the groups before saying them out loud. Like a convicted person, you wait for him to say your name. You’re part of the last group and you’re with Tucker Walker. At the mention of his name, you want to die. He’s part of the basketball team and he’s entitled. You don’t like him. You try to negotiate with your teacher to work alone but he insists.

“Come here, Y/L/N, I’m not gonna eat you.” Tucker laughs.

Reluctantly, you gather your stuff and go to his desk. You put as much distance as possible, wanting to avoid new rumours.

“I’m going to do the whole exercise and I’ll put your name on the sheet like this, you’ll have nothing to do.” you announce while starting to read what you have to do.

“Who said I didn’t want to work with you?”

“I don’t want to work with you.” you specify. “Now, do something else and let me work.”

“On the contrary, I’m sure I can be useful.” he contradicts, putting his hand on your knee.

“Take your hand off.” you say through gritting teeth.

“What?”

“Your hand. I don’t like you and if I’m not mistaken, you’re with someone.”

“It didn’t stop you with Harrington.” he says before leaning in. “You can meet me behind school later.”

“No.”

“You don’t have to play hard-to-get because we’re in class.”

“I’m not playing hard-to-get, I just don’t like you.” you repeat, trying to stay calm.

“That's what you say now.”

By some luck, Tucker takes his hand off and lets you work. You’re surprised to see him give up so easily. You know it’s hiding something else, from now on, you have to avoid him.

You finish the work sheet the same second the bell rings at the end of the class. You pack your stuff quickly and give the sheet to your teacher before leaving the room. Tucker doesn’t follow, allowing you to sigh in relief.

Walking by your locker, you discover the insult is gone. It’s one of the positive things with the janitor, he always erases the insults right away. Though, no matter how many times he erases them, he’s never reported it to the principal, leaving you on your own with the high schooler venom.

The moment you leave school, you walk to your car when you get stopped in your tracks. In front of you, there are four girls, Jessica - Tucker’s girlfriend - included. You try to not show anything, mentally preparing yourself for what she’s going to tell you.

“What makes you think you can hit on Tucker, my boyfriend?” she asks drily, “Being his chemistry partner and telling him to meet you behind school? That’s where you were going, weren’t you? He’s not coming. Unlike Steve, he won’t let the slut of Hawkins destroy our relationship.” Jessica affirms, you’re about to answer when she beats you to it. “Don’t even try to deny it, Tucker told me and Sarah heard you!”

“Well, she can’t hear correctly then and your boyfriend is lying. Tucker is the one who hit on me and I stopped him. He put his hand on my knee and told me to meet him behind school.” you retort, annoyed.

“You think I’m gonna believe you over my boyfriend and my best friend?”

“I know you’re not going to believe me. It’s so much easier to believe your boyfriend who tells you what you want to hear rather than the girl who shows you the true colour of your boyfriend. Don’t be too disappointed the day you’ll discover he’s cheated on you, if he hasn’t done it already.” you state with a fake smile.

“Take that back.”

“Why ? Everyone knows he’s a cheater.”

“He’s different with me.” Jessica insists and you shake your head.

“That's what he wants you to believe but the truth is, he’s sleeping around while keeping you under his hat.”

The sound of the slap resonates in the school parking lot. You look at Jessica with eyes wide open whilst you’re touching your cheek. For you, that’s your last straw, you answer to her attack by pulling at her hair. Jessica’s scream alerts the adults around while her friends try to separate you two. You keep giving her a piece of your mind when two arms wrap themselves around your body and gets you away from Jessica. Being separated doesn’t stop both of you from insulting one another and trying to go for the throat again until Mister Jenkins arrives.

“That’s enough! What is going on here?”

“She attacked me!” Jessica lies, pointing at you.

“What? You’re the one who slapped me first.”

“She’s lying, we saw her, sir!” a friend of Jessica adds.

“They’re lying, Jessica did hit her first.”

Looking behind you, you discover the one who is holding you back and who is defending you is none other than Eddie Munson. You didn’t even see he was around and you certainly didn’t expect him to defend you.

“Are you seriously going to believe what Munson is saying?” Jessica questions, faking tears. “He’s always against us! He’d say anything to get us in trouble. I’m the victim here-”

“You’re talking nonsense, you-” you cut her off before Jenkins gets your attention back.

“Enough! I have enough. Go to the principal, now!”

And that’s how you end up in Mister Higgins’ office for the first time. You can’t believe the situation got this bad. The worst part isn’t listening to the disapproving speech of the headmaster, it’s actually witnessing your mom’s disappointment beside you as he speaks.

While the principal is explaining to your mom and Jessica’s mom what happened, you look at your feet, holding back tears of anger. Once he’s done talking, Higgins catches your and Jessica’s attention.

“Do you have anything to add?”

“I didn’t attack her first.” you insist.

“Everybody saw you!” Jessica retorts.

“You’re the one who accused me of stealing your boyfriend. I did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, just like you didn’t break Nancy and Steve’s relationship.”

“Sir,” you start, trying to keep a calm voice, “I’ve been receiving insults for more than a month now from everyone including Jessica. She called me a slut then she slapped me when I told her her boyfriend was cheating on her. Eddie Munson saw it, he told Mister Jenkins.”

“Munson,  the one leading a cult? What a reliable source!” Jessica’s mother states, rolling her eyes.

“Madam, please.” Mr. Higgins reprimands. “One witness against Jessica’s three friends doesn’t bring a lot to the table.”

“So you’re not even going to do something about the harassment I’ve been receiving?”

“Y/N.” your mom says drily.

“I’ve never heard anything about people being mean to you. However, your grades haven’t been going down for some reason.”

“If you cared a bit more about your student, maybe you’d know why.”

“Y/N, enough!” your mom orders you before turning to Mister Higgins. “I apologise. I guess Y/N will be punished?”

“Indeed, we can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour. Technically, this kind of situation can lead to expulsion though considering Y/N has always been a good student - until now -, we’ll just say she’s going through a bad phase. Y/N will have a month of detention and you will be doing an assignment on bullying.”

Before you can protest, your mom glares at you. You stay silent while your mom apologies once again for your behaviour. Your mom’s grip on your arm forces you to stand up and to leave the office. She doesn’t say anything until you arrive at your car where she orders you to get home right away.

Once you’re home, your mom informs you you’re not allowed to drive your car therefore, you have to take the bus to go to school before informing you to stay in your room until your father arrives.

The second you close the door, you finally let your tears of anger stream down your face. You’re frustrated by the whole situation and you have never felt this alone before. You lay down on your bed rolled up in a ball, searching for some comfort. As you search for that much-needed comfort, your mind takes you back to a time in your life when you had it without needing to make any effort.

At one point, you had this comfort with you. When everything was still going great, it wasn’t rare for Steve to come to your place and put on a smile on your face.

You had been a couple for three months and no one knew about your relationship. You preferred to not say anything, wanting to protect what you had. Thanks to your relationship, you both felt less alone, you finally felt like someone cared about you, that was why you felt so good with him. Therefore, you would see each other when your parents weren’t home. As you didn’t want to stay alone for another night, you had invited Steve to come. Knowing he was in the same situation, Steve had rang at your door thirty minutes later.

Laying on your bed, you were enjoying each other’s presence after your first intimate moment you had just shared. Steve had his arms wrapped around your hips, pressing your back against his torso.

“You know,” Steve started, whispering in your ear, “maybe you’re too late to be my first love, but you’ll always be my favourite. I like what we have.”

“Me too. I like you, Steve, a lot.” you told him, turning around to look at him.

“I like you a lot, too.” he replied, tenderly kissing you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the harsh voice of your father ordering you to come downstairs. You fastly wipe the tears away from your cheeks and prepare yourself for what your parents are about to tell you. While you’re walking down the stairs, your father makes a sign to go to the kitchen. You sit whilst your parents stay on their feet on the other side of the table, a severe expression on their faces.

“Is it true what your mother told me? You’re getting into fights now?” your dad says, angry.

“I was only defending myself, Jessica attacked me first.”

“Why would she attack you? I know her dad, she’s a nice girl.”

“She called me a slut and she accused me of stealing her boyfriend when I didn’t do anything.”

“Why does she say you did then?” your mom questions, annoyed.

“Because she’s against me like everyone else in this school!”

“Lower your tone, young lady.” your father orders.

“It’s about what she said about Steve and Nancy, isn’t it?” your mother wants to know with accusing eyes.

“Yes, they accuse me of breaking their relationship when it’s not the truth.”

“Because you never did anything with Steve, didn’t you?”

“How do-” you start, shocked to discover she knows.

“It’s a small town and you really thought the neighbours wouldn’t see you sneaking in a boy in our own house?”

“You sneaked in a boy?” your father angers.

“And according to Miss Johnson, it went on for several months,” your mom specifies, “aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

At this sentence, the tiny bit of hope you still had about your parents disappears. You can’t believe your own mother is against you. You’re getting used to the reputation people gave you but hearing your own mother implying you’re less than good because of your relationship is the final blow. You can’t understand how liking a boy could destroy everything.

“Steve and I got together after he broke up with Nancy, I almost wasn’t talking to him when he was still dating her. Steve was my boyfriend and we did nothing wrong!” you defend yourself, feeling the tears coming.

“Of course and you did nothing wrong when you attacked this poor Jessica.”

“Poor Jessica? She insulted me and hit me. I did nothing. Why don’t you want to believe me? I’m your own daughter and yet, you’d rather believe Jessica than me.”

“The facts are here!” Your father yells. “Besides, we should have reacted a long time ago, have you seen your grades? Do you really think you’re going to pass your year like this?”

“My grades are getting worse because I’m going through a living hell at school.”

“Stop playing the victim! We have enough of your behaviour. You have to do better and quickly. Go to your room right now! And don’t forget to apologise to Jessica.”

Tired of screaming in the void, you don’t answer your mother’s order and run to your room. Mad, you slam the door behind you. Normally, you’d be scared to hear more reproaches however at this moment, it’s the least of your concerns.

You throw yourself on your bed and you hold back a scream of frustration. You can’t understand why your own parents don’t have your back. They didn’t even try to listen to you, they only blame you some more. You know it’s stupid yet a part of you was hoping they would understand. You were wrong, no one is on your side; you didn’t think it possible, yet, you feel even more alone.

If you thought you already were the public enemy, the second you get back to school the following day, you realise it’s worse. Everyone is staring at you, you’re called even more names just like the whisperings got worse. You’re being even more discreet than usual - if it’s possible - wanting to keep to yourself.

In hindsight, you tell yourself you wouldn’t recommend dating boys with exes, it’s not worth all the pain and all the bullying that comes with it, in particular if the boy in question ignores you.

When you go to your last class of the day, you wish you could say you’re finally about to breathe but you still have detention. You have to stay at school a few more hours.

Sitting at your usual seat in your history class, you put your notebook on your desk. Your eyes land on the last page you wrote until they fall on the inscription carved on the desk: “the slut of Hawkins = Y/N.” It’s not the first time you see those words, it’s actually on this very table you discovered your life was about to change before you could do something about it. Despite the time, those words still feel like a knife in your chest. You distinctly remember the moment where everything fell apart.

You were behind the school building with Steve. You had been together for four months but contrary to the first three, it wasn’t going on so well between you two. You didn’t get along anymore. No matter your effort to hold him close, it was always ending in an argument. The main reason for it was that you were more invested in this relationship than Steve. You had noticed this the moment you had tried to get closer to him at school.

“I’m not asking for a lot, Steve! I’m not asking to make out with you in front of everyone, I just want to, at least, be able to talk with you without you ignoring me. I’m your girlfriend and yet, it looks like you don’t know me.”  you pleaded, mad and desperate.

“You said you wanted to keep our relationship for us.” Steve retorted, avoiding your eyes.

“That was before it became more serious between us. I like you and I want to say you’re my boyfriend.”

“I know but you know that with Nancy-”

“What are you bringing her into this? She moved on, unlike you! She’s with Jonathan, I don’t think she cares if you’re dating again. Why are you searching for an excuse? I thought you liked me, too.”

“It’s true.”

“Really? It doesn’t look like it!” you said, outraged. “I feel like I’m alone in this relationship. Everytime I take a step towards you, you push me away. I’m getting tired of it. I don’t even know why I even try to save our relationship when it’s clear you don’t care.” you finished, going inside the building.

“Y/N, wait-” he tried to hold you back.

“No, we’re done, Steve!”

That day, you ended your relationship with Steve, signing at the same time the end of your peaceful life in high school. While you were arguing, someone had heard you and had twisted the whole story. Before you could react, the rumours had started to fly a few days later at school that you had ruined the relationship with Nancy and Steve by seducing him. There was nothing you could do to correct the rumours. Just because you liked a boy, you got judged as a homewrecker and you had to accept your sentence.

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

Just Live - Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : You always feel like you have to work harder to be recognised as your own person, instead of just Natasha's sibling.

Warnings : Trace!sibling reader, reader is one year younger, use of they/them pronouns, set during the movie with some canon deviant elements, angst, mention of plane crash, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2k

French version

Request : made by anonymous, here's the link to the request. To whoever requested it, I hope you'll like what I wrote and again, sorry for taking so long to write it 🫶🏻

You’re with Payback, Fanboy, and your sister Natasha when you’re arriving in the Hard Deck so you can find the other pilots you’re going to work with for a new mission. You almost have no information about it, you just know you’ve all been called back to TopGun.

The second you step foot in the bar, you hear Hangman's arrogant voice near the pool table where he’s with his friend and fellow pilot Coyote. As if he felt you coming, Jake looks up towards you and catches Javy’s attention.

“What do we have here? If it ain’t Phoenix! And here I thought we were special, Coyote.” he exclaims with a cocky smile. “Turns out the invite went to anyone. Oh, there’s even Phoenix Number Two,” Jake adds, seeing you, “So, you’ve finally reached your sister’s level?”

At the mention of the nickname ‘Phoenix Number Two’ - which is, obviously, not your callsign -, you can’t help but be annoyed. Hangman always knows how to get under your skin. You’re about to reply when Natasha beats you to it. 

“Fellas, this here’s Bagman.”

“Hangman.” the concerned person corrects.

“Whatever. You’re looking at the only naval aviator on active duty with a confirmed air-to-air kill.”

“Stop!” 

“Mind you,” you start, looking him up and down, “the other guy was in a museum piece from the Korean War.”

“Cold War.” Coyote rectifies.

“Different wars, same century.” Payback specifies.

“Not this one.” Fanboy adds.

“Who are your friends ?” Javy asks.

You decide to not participate in the conversation any longer and go to ask for a beer. The assignment hasn’t started yet and you’re already sick of it. Sure, for once, you didn’t get more than one comment comparing you and your sister but it’s still a sore subject.

You’re only a year younger than Natasha and yet, those twelve months are enough for the entire world to use your big sister as a comparison. Even before getting in the Navy, you received a lot of remarks explaining how you should be more like Natasha; and this happened only when people were noticing what you were doing. In general, when you were a kid, your achievements were whisked away.

By choosing to be a naval aviator, you thought you’d finally detached yourself from Natasha as you’d be doing a job that is out of the ordinary. At that time, your sister was already in the army, she just didn’t know what she wanted to be in particular. A year before you officially became a pilot, Phoenix proudly announced that she wanted to be one, too. Your parents were immediately proud of her; they didn’t show as much joy when you had told them - as for you, you were irritated. Being a pilot was your dream, it was supposed to be the thing that differenciate you from Natasha, it was supposed to help you show who you truly are and now, it’s just one more thing that you share with your sister.

Your callsign, Griffin, is also another common point with Natasha. People from your year racked their brains to find another mythological creature so you could have a link with your sister. They meant well, you know it, but the fact is that even in the Academy without your sister, you lived in her shadow, in spite of yourself. With years, it drew you and Phoenix apart. You still get along and you’d do anything for her, though you can’t help but be bitter. You know it’s ridiculous, you’re mad at yourself for being this resentful towards her; after all, it’s not her fault, Natasha has always made sure people would see you for who you are, though it doesn’t change the way you feel. With time, you’ve learned to be discreet about this pain that is eating you from the inside. However, from time to time, like tonight, the pain and the anger that comes with it find a way to the surface. So, during the evening, you stay on your own, your beer in hand, conversing with people just enough so they remember you’re here but not enough to be the main topic. 

The mission you’ve been assigned to is the most dangerous one you’ve ever had. You all agree to say it’s almost impossible to complete it. Even Hangman is not cocky enough to pretend he’s confident about it. You’ve always given yourself fully for your work, however this time, you work twice as hard. It’s not only about your own survival but also for the other ones, including your sister. You might train every single day, it still doesn’t seem enough. In training,  no one has succeeded to complete this mission, except Rooster if we forget the fact he arrived at the target too late. Besides Bradley, you’re the one who did best before ‘colliding’ in the mountain just when you were about to hit the spot where the uranium would be. You could have succeeded if you hadn’t been distracted by Natasha and Bob’s plane behind you.

“Why are you dead?” Maverick questions, tensed.

“I didn’t communicate correctly and I didn’t notice they needed help.” you reply with a neutral tone.

“Exactly so, stop playing solo and learn to pay attention to your wingmen. Besides that, you had good technique. Phoenix, as for you, you know how to communicate but you have to be a bit more careful when you fly.”

Reluctantly, you accept Maverick’s critic. He’s not wrong, communication has never been your strong suit. You’re a very lonely person and though sometimes, this might be a strength, when you’re a naval aviator, it is not. You have to do better, you have to do like Natasha. It is not easy for you to admit it but you can’t deny Maverick is correct so you take it upon yourself to learn from his critics so you can be a better pilot, hoping you’ll be able to make it if you’re chosen for the assignment. 

Once the day of the mission has come, anxiety is at its climax while you’re getting ready to fly. Maverick is the team leader and you’re his wingman, Rooster is with Payback and finally Phoenix is with Bob. You do not feel at ease at the thought of your sister flying with you; you are scared something might happen to her. You try not to think of the worst case scenario and instead focus on what you have to do. If you want to keep your squad safe, you have to stay focused on your mission, not on your fear of losing Natasha.

In the air, you all do everything perfectly, completing the two miracles necessary for this mission. Now, enemy missiles are coming from everywhere and you do everything to avoid them. The flares you used to avoid them fly left and right while you keep each other updated on every new threat. There is no end, every time a missile is destroyed, four new ones seem to appear in the sky.

Adrenaline is running through your veins while black smokes surround all of you. In spite of yourself, you look in Natasha’s direction in case she might need help. Though, a missile going right to Bradley and Payback’s plane catches your attention and you fly in their direction to help them, except your plane gets hit in the process and you can’t do anything but fall down as Natasha screams in fear in your ears. 

The second you come back to yourself, you find yourself laying on the snowy ground. Thanks to your third unplanned miracle, you’re not hurt or your adrenaline is still high enough so you can’t feel the pain in your body. You barely avoid an enemy aircraft coming your way thanks to Maverick’s intervention who came to your rescue while crashing his own plane. Together, you find a plane for two before leaving enemy territory and going home.

After a landing more or less wonky, people present on the carrier cheer for you and Maverick as they know you’re safe and sound. You just have time to catch your breath before someone grabs you from behind and makes you walk to a room. Once the door is closed, you find Natasha in front of you and she hugs you, sighing in relief before taking a step back and looking at you with a severe expression. 

“What got into you? It was reckless to pull a stunt like that!”

“Reckless? I saved Rooster and Payback’s life.” you retort, outraged she’s mad.

“And you could have lost yours in the process.”

“I didn’t. I knew what I was doing.”

“No, you didn’t. You were ready to sacrifice yourself and for what? To prove something? To prove you’re a damn good pilot?” Natasha asks, knowing you too well. “Breaking new, you already are! That’s why you were chosen for this mission.”

“This has nothing to do with that.”

“Really?” Natasha questions rhetorically. “Y/N, I don’t know what you need to realise you’ve got nothing to prove.”

“Easy for you to say.” you reply, avoiding her gaze for a second.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Everyone has always seen your talents. I have always had to fight to have a bit of recognition. No matter what I do, I’m only Natasha’s little sibling or ‘Phoenix Number Two’, I’m never just me. So, yeah, maybe I came to Rooster and Payback’s rescue to show I’m strong but what do you want me to say? Years of being invisible mess with your head.” you defend yourself, tearing up.

“That doesn’t mean you should sacrifice yourself at any given occasion. There are other ways to show your talent as a naval aviator. How would you think we’d react if you were to die after acting like you did? Sure, maybe people would recognize your achievements but we would be devastated, I would be devastated.” Natasha exclaims, her voice breaking. “And now you must think I’m insensitive because I’m making this situation about me and maybe I am, but if that’s what it takes for you to understand how dangerous and stupid what you did was then so be it.”

“I’m just tired of working harder just to not be seen.”

“Y/N, it’s not the case anymore.” she affirms, taking a step forward. “We’re not kids anymore. If people didn’t see you, you wouldn’t have been called back to TopGun and you wouldn’t have been Maverick’s wingman and yet, you were. It’s probably easier said than done, however you have to realise the child version of you who was never taken seriously has grown up and showed they had guts. I’m not saying people will stop comparing us but they don’t see you as an extension of me anymore, they see the real you now.”

“You’re probably right.” you end up saying, wiping a single tear on your cheek. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You better not do that ever again or this time, I’d be faster than Maverick and find you so I could kick your ass.”

You lightly chuckle before taking your sister in your arms again. Slowly, you feel the adrenaline leaving your body as you integrate the words you’ve exchanged with Natasha. She’s right, you have to realise things aren’t like they used to. Maybe one day you’ll finally be able to do it. Maybe you’ll finally let go of this idea you have to fight to be seen for you and you only, maybe one day, you’ll finally be able to just live.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[marie-swriting]

What If - Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : After having an accident, Jake wants to live in the moment even more and take your relationship a step forward, but do you ?

Warnings : Bradshaw!Reader (Reader is Bradley's younger sister by two years), mention of plane accident, mention of deaths (parents and best friend), fear of losing loved ones, proposal, angst, sad ending, implied struggling with mental health, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

You run in the hospital hallways, searching for room 322. Your anxiety increases with every step you take. Your destination seems unreachable. Your eyes are filled with tears but you hold them back. However, the second you walk through the door 322, they run free on your cheeks. Seeing Jake’s body laying down on the bed, hurt, doesn’t help to reduce your stress. Hearing you walking in the room, Jake gives you a big smile as if he didn’t almost die the day before. You get closer to him, examining him a bit more while wiping your cheeks. His left arm is in a sling, his head is bandaged and he has several cuts on his face.

“So, I heard you like bad boys,” Jake starts with a cocky smile, “is this good enough for you?”

“Jake, this is not the time to make jokes. You could have died!” you retort, sitting on the chair next to his bed.

“And I didn’t. I’m here and alive.”

“And hurt.”

“The fact is I’m alive. Thanks to your brother.” he specifies, showing Bradley with his chin.

“At least, we now know who is the best pilot.” your brother jokes.

“In your dreams, Rooster, I just wanted to test your ability to react quickly.”

“You’ll do your pissing contest later, tell me how you’re feeling.” you ask, still panicked.

“I’m fine. I almost don’t feel anything thanks to the meds. Y/N, I am fine, really.” Jake promises you, taking your hand with his right one.

“I’m gonna leave you alone.” Bradley informs you by pressing your shoulder. “Get some rest, Hangman.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Jake says once you’re alone.

“Trust me, it’s not just worrying. I really thought… For a moment, I was sure…” you stutter, a tear rolling down your cheek again.

“I know, I’m sorry. Come here.” he invites you, moving in the best way so you can lie down.

“No, I might hurt you.”

“I don’t care.”

Reluctantly, you get closer to the bed. You think of the best way you could get in bed without hurting him. Jake rolls his eyes before dragging you towards him with his abled arm. You find yourself next to him and you put your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his natural scent and the hospital.

“Don’t ever do that again. I can’t lose you.” you mutter.

“You won’t lose me. I promise.” Jake affirms, forcing you to look at him. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Jake.”

You give a small smile then you press your lips against Jake’s. Your kiss isn’t as passionate as it could be, yet it shares all the love you feel.

Once the night comes, you refuse to leave Jake. You literally beg the nurses to let you stay the night. At first, they insist on you leaving, nonetheless when you explain how scared you were to lose your boyfriend and how you can only stay in San Francisco for two days due to your job, they accept. Therefore, you’re currently on the chair in the corner of the room with a thin blanket. Jake wanted you to stay with him on the bed but you said you wouldn’t, you are afraid you might hurt him while sleeping. Your unimportant argument lasted thirty minutes but you stood your ground until the end.

Tired because of his medicines, Jake fell asleep in a few minutes. As for you, you stay awake, watching his chest rise and fall at the rhythm of his breaths. You don’t dare to look away, fearing that by doing so, he might stop respiring. 

Notwithstanding, with the hours passing by and with all the emotion you felt, Morpheus comes to embrace you in his arms. At first, your sleep is relaxing though as soon as you start dreaming, your breathing quickens. You see Jake lying on the ground unconscious, you hear your own heart-rending scream when Bradley tells you about an accident, you smell the rain while the coffin sinks in the ground, you touch the tears on your fingers whilst you’re wiping your cheeks and finally, you feel your own heart that seems like it stopped beating in your chest. 

You wake up jumping at that last sensation. You calm down your breathing while you stare at Jake, wanting to make sure he’s still alive in his hospital bed. You can’t see his chest moving, you panic then you stand up from the chair and run to him. Jake lightly opens the mouth before closing it several times and then changing position in the bed. Seeing him moving makes you sigh in relief. 

Jake is okay. Jake is alive. Jake is not dead. Jake will not die.

No matter how many times you repeat those sentences like a mantra, your anxiety still doesn’t leave your body. Tears threaten to really stream down your face so you discreetly leave the room. Thankfully, the corridor is empty, allowing you to cry your eyes out. You hold back sobs as much as you can. If you sobbed, you would wake Jake up for sure.

You need a moment to calm down your tears. Seeing Jake hurt because of his work in the Navy overwhelmed you so much for several reasons. The first one being because you love Jake and you don’t want to lose him. The second one is because of the buried memories. Your dad died when you were still a baby and Bradley was only two. You don’t have memories of him but you know how much his death affected your mom. The loss of your father isn’t the only one haunting you. You also lost your best friend Lucy. You had been friends with her since you were four years old. You were inseparable until she enlisted in the army and died at twenty. 

Receiving Bradley’s call about Jake gave you a glimpse of what your mother and Lucy’s mom went through, a trial you always hoped you’d never face.

Once you're sure you won’t fall apart, you go back in the room. By some miracle, Jake didn’t hear you leaving or entering, probably because of the medicine - normally, he’s a light sleeper. You walk back to the chair and stay awake the whole night, you don’t want to sit through another tragic scenario made by your brain.

The next day, you stay with Jake until the evening. You don’t want to leave him behind in the hospital, however, you have work so you don’t have a choice. Bradley promises you he’ll stay with Jake until his family comes during the week-end and he’ll keep you updated on Jake’s health. You only trust Bradley for this, you know Jake might not tell you everything to not worry you.

When you’re back home, you find your apartment dull. What is supposed to make you feel better can’t comfort you whilst in your mind, you get more lost in your deepest fears. The fact you’re in the process of moving out doesn’t help. 

Jake and you are supposed to get a small house together. You should have the keys in two weeks, his deployment was supposed to be over by then. A few days ago, you were still looking forward to leaving your apartment and living with the man you love and now, you don’t know anymore.

Your relationship has always been exceptional, not only because he’s a good man but also considering that, before him, you wouldn’t allow yourself to date an army man. You always knew your mother as a half empty shell so you always wanted to protect yourself from the same deadly fate and the loss of Lucy didn’t help either. You’re already worried about losing your brother and Maverick, whom you consider as your uncle, you don’t want to risk losing your partner, too. Therefore, you had always refused to fall in love with a man like this. Before, you could do it until Jake appeared in your life; just like his personality, his entrance in your life was loud. You tried to resist it but your heart didn’t give you a choice so, for the first time, you broke your own rule. Your relationship with Jake is the most beautiful one you’ve ever had and you have no regrets about it. You used to have no regrets about it. His accident was a good reminder of how dangerous his job is. 

Until you came home, you tried to shut down your fears and your doubts though, now, in your half-empty apartment, you can’t ignore it anymore. That night, you can’t sleep, your mind too busy to torture you.

Unfortunately for you, your mind doesn't give you one second of peace. The following days, you doubt your whole relationship with Jake, imagining the worst case scenarios in which he’d die during several milestones : your first house together, your wedding, pregnancies, anniversaries. The list never seems to end. You can’t be optimistic about it. You’re completely lost in your worries to the point where you end up living like a robot. You’re making yourself sick while anticipating the worst.

Your downward spiral is interrupted a week later by a knock on your door one morning. At first, you ignore the noise, comfortably staying in your discontent. However, when the person insists, you leave your bed and open them, not without sighing, annoyed. You’re about to tell the person to leave but the presence of Jake stops you. He wasn’t supposed to come back to San Diego right now and yet, here he is, in front of you, a big smile on his face and his left arm still in the sling and his wounds on his face starting to fade.

“Jake? What are you doing here? You still need to rest!”

“I know, I wanted to see you though and I couldn’t wait so I took the night train at the last minute. Can I come in?” Jake asks and  you let him in, still surprised.

“Why didn’t you call me? I could have come during the weekend.”

“I wanted to surprise you. You’re okay ? You look under the weather.” he observes, stroking your cheek.

“I should ask you this, you’re the one who almost died not even a week ago.” you answer, taking his hand in yours.

“I’m better, Y/N. Even Bradley told you so. The recovery is gonna be long but I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I love when you go all mother hen. It’s cute.” he says, kissing your cheek and you let go of a laugh.

“You’re an idiot. Let’s go to the living room.” you invite him, starting to walk. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No. I just want to talk to you.” Jake informs you.

“About what?”

You frown when he prevents you from sitting on your couch. He slowly strokes your hand before taking a deep breath.

“Look, you know I always try to enjoy the present and with this accident, it really made me realise how precious what we currently have is. I don’t want to waste any seconds, I want to enjoy every moment with you. There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a moment now but I would keep telling myself it might be too early so I always pushed it back then I talked about it with my mom and she convinced me to jump in with both feet.”

“Jake, what do you mean?” you question, stress twisting your stomach.

“Y/N,” Jake resumes, looking deeply in your eyes, “since the second I saw you, I knew you were the woman made for me. I knew you were worth the fight, even if, at first, you wouldn’t pay attention to me. You’re the most intelligent, funny, compassionate and beautiful woman I know. We will have our own house soon and I can’t wait to reach this milestone with you but I’d love for us to reach another one.” he confesses, putting one knee down and your eyes are wide open.

“Jake.”

“Y/N, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Wh-what ?” you stutter and Jake nervously laughs.

“Will you marry me?”

“Are you serious?” you question, dropping his hand.

“Huh, yes, I even have the ring.” he specifies, taking out the ring from his pocket, “Though I gotta admit, I think of saying it’s just a joke right now, you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m just surprised. I don’t know what to say.” you defend yourself.

Your eyes are set on Jake’s ring. You’ve seen it before. He’d shown it to you the day you first met his parents a year ago. It’s his great-grand-mother’s ring. It’s simple but you find it beautiful.

“It’s easy, say yes or no.” Jake replies with an anxious smile.

“Jake, we’ve only been together for two years.” you argue and Jake stands up.

“We don’t have to get married next year. We can be engaged for several years. We can wait before calling each other husband and wife, but I have to admit I’d love to, at least, call you my fiancée.”

“Jake, I can’t.” you end up saying.

“What, do you have a first husband in your attic or something?” Jake laughs and you see the panic in his eyes.

“No, I can’t marry you.”

Your sentence sounds like a fatal blow in Jake’s ears. He stays silent, staring at you without understanding what’s going on. He gets a grip on himself when his phone rings in his pocket. Jake knows it’s his mom. She knew he was going to propose today and she is impatient to call you her daughter-in-law. However, it looks like it won’t be the case. Jake opens his mouth several times before managing to utter something:

“What? Why?”

“I… I can’t.”

“But I love you, we love each other. You love me, right?” he asks, doubtful.

“Of course I love you, Jake, more than I ever loved before.” you promise him, making him frown.

“What’s the problem then?”

“I don’t want to marry you.”

If your first refusal already seemed awful to him, the sentence you just said is the final blow. The fact that you don’t want to marry him breaks his heart. He’s lost. It was supposed to be a joyful moment and yet, the ground is falling apart under him.

“What? Did something happen? Did I do something? I… I thought everything was fine between us.”

“It is.”

“Y/N, you have to stop being vague, I don’t understand anything.” he retorts with a strong tone. “What’s going on?”

“You should leave.”

“No, We have to talk about it. You can’t tell me you love me then tell me you don’t want to marry me. Talk to me, Y/N, you have to talk to me. Give me a reason, at least.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” you answer, avoiding his eyes.

“If you explained to me, maybe I’d understand. Are… Are you breaking up with me? Is that why you haven’t been calling me lately?” he questions, desperately searching for an explanation for your behaviour.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot and I think it’s best if we stop right now. I’m sorry, Jake, but I can’t keep being with you. You’ll find someone with whom you’ll share your life with and who will want to marry you.”

“I want it to be you.” he says with a weak tone, tearing up.

“Jake, please.”

“Very well then.” Jake accepts, hurt in his eyes.

Jake turns around and at the rhythm of his steps, your heart breaks whilst you’re looking at him walking to the door. You begged him to leave and yet, you only want to scream at him to come back to you and to hold you in his arms while you apologise. Yet, you stay silent. Jake doesn’t look back when he closes the door.

Once you’re alone, you fall down on your couch. In your head, you convince yourself it’s the best decision. After all, you should feel relieved, now, you don’t have to worry about losing Jake because of his job anymore. Nevertheless, your mind is not calm. You don’t know which way to turn but for different reasons. You wish it was different, it was easier, he had another job, you weren’t afraid. You spend the night crying while removing every trace of Jake in your apartment and unpack some boxes. You have to move on right now before you lose yourself a bit more.

You haven’t talked to Jake for three weeks. He tried to contact you but you ignored every one of his calls. He first wanted to fix your relationship before understanding it was too late, though he wants explanations, explanations you keep for yourself. You don’t want to tell him, you know it’s ridiculous. Why end a relationship given a potential “what if” when everything is fine? However, you also know if you had moved ahead with Jake, you would have ended up sabotaging your relationship. Technically, it’s what you did though at least, you didn’t have to call lawyers to leave his life.

Bradley tried to call you, too, and just like for Jake, you ignored him. Jake probably told him about your break up and Bradley, always being the honourable man, wants to fix the situation. Except the situation can’t be fixed. You don’t want to fix the situation.

When you come back from work that day, you’re surprised to discover your brother at your doorstep. Without thinking, you run in his arms. Sure, you’ve been ignoring him lately but you missed him. The last time you saw each other, you were too focused on Jake to pay attention to him. He holds you in his arms and strokes your back. As soon as you break your embrace, you let Bradley in. You go to your kitchen while talking about banality. Whilst walking, Bradley pays attention to your apartment and notices there isn’t a picture of Jake anymore. Once you’re sitting at the table, you stay silent, waiting for who will be the first to talk about the subject.

“We should talk about the elephant in the room, don’t you think?” Bradley says after a few minutes.

“There’s nothing to say.” you retort, tensed.

“Y/N, you threw away a two years relationship for no reason.”

“I have my reasons.”

“Which are? Jake is probably curious to know them.”

“If you came here to make things better, you’re wasting your time, Brad’.”

“You can’t act like that and expect to not justify yourself. You were happy with Jake, you love him and you broke up without giving a warning. I have to admit when he told me you refused his proposal, I was shocked. I thought you were gonna say yes without hesitating.”

“You knew?”

“He asked me before coming here. I confess, I laugh at him, I didn’t expect him to ask for your hand or give me a heads-up, like he said.” Bradley informs with a smile, thinking back to the memory. “Everything was good between you two, wasn’t it? So why?”

“It’s better like this. He’ll have a wife who knows how to stay and I won’t suffer.”

“Wait, is all of this because of the parents and Lucy?” he questions, understanding the reason. “You’re still with this stupid no-dating-army-guy rule? I thought we were over with it! Y/N, you can’t ruin your life just because you’re scared.”

“I don’t want to end up like mom! You can’t blame me! We were kids but you can’t deny there was a before and an after with mom. She wasn’t laughing like she used to, she wasn’t smiling like she used to. She was the shadow of her former self. I don’t want to go through this if Jake were to die.” you confess.

“It’s because of his accident, isn’t it?”

“It reminded me he could die at any given moment with his work.”

“Just like he could die off-duty. He can have an accident, have a heart attack, choke while eating. You don’t know what will happen in the future. You can’t condemn yourself ‘cause you’re too afraid he might die while flying. It’s ridiculous.” Bradley affirms, resolutely.

“I’m already afraid of losing you and Mav’ and I already lost Lucy and we lost dad, I don’t want Jake to join this list. Can’t you really blame me? I’d rather protect myself by not being afraid everytime my boyfriend goes to work.”

“Let’s imagine the worst were to happen, don’t you think it’d be better to think you spent every second with him? You’d rather live with regrets? You’d rather break your own heart?”

“At least, I know why I’m hurting.”

“Y/N, you have to think about it again.” he sighs. “You have to get out of your head that the worst will happen. You can’t prevent yourself from being happy because of what could happen. You deserve a beautiful life and to be with Jake. I never saw you this happy before and it kills me to see you throw it away because you’re scaring yourself.”

“The problem is I can’t help it,” you start with trembling lips. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it when we first got together then it got better. However, since his accident, it’s been worse. Since your call, I keep imagining what could have happened and what could happen and I’m tired of it, Bradley. I’ll never get rid of it and I hate it but that’s how it is. Believe me, if I could change, I’d do it right now, but I can’t.”

Bradley hugs you as soon as he sees you crying. He holds you against him until your tears stop a few hours later. His heart aches seeing you hurting this much. He knows you’ve always been more affected by your father’s death. Being the youngest, the emptiness you feel about your dad has always been stronger. It got worse with Lucy’s death. That day, Bradley really saw you get broken. He hated every second of this moment of your life. He hates seeing suffering like you currently are. Several times, Bradley tried to help you, he advised you to go see a professional but you’ve always refused. Until now, he had hoped your fears would ease with time, yet, your relationship with Jake just proved him it got worse and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s completely distraught whilst he keeps holding you against him, hoping to give you some kind of comfort. 

Two months have passed since your break up. You take it day by day to heal your broken heart. Bradley tries to stay with you as much as he can while Jake isn’t surrounded by anyone. He prefers to wear a mask and pretend your negative answer isn’t hurting him. Nevertheless, the second he’s home alone, his mask falls and he allows himself to feel all his pain. Jake, who has always done it, manages to fool everyone with his fake cocky smile. Almost everyone. Coyote sees right through him.

That night is no exception. Sitting at the counter in the Hard Deck, Jake is drinking his third alcoholic drink. Jake has isolated himself from the rest of the Dagger Squad, saying he’s tired and wanted to be alone. Though, Javy doesn’t let him be in the doldrums. He sits on the stool next to Jake and orders a beer from Penny. Coyote gives him some minutes of peace before speaking.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Coyote doesn’t even need to specify for Jake to understand. Your relationship has been a taboo subject for two months.

“Not really.” Jake says, taking a sip.

“You should.” he replies while Penny hands him his beer. “Do you at least know why she made this decision?”

Jake didn’t tell anyone the reason for your fallout. He feels humiliated enough by your harsh refusal to his proposal, he wants to bury the end of your relationship and never talk about it again. Though Javy is right, Jake knows he has to open up.

“Rooster talked to her. Turns out she doesn’t want to marry me because she’s scared I might die on-duty.”

“Did your accident scare her that much?” Javy questions, taken aback.

“It was the final straw but she’s always been scared apparently. I mean, I suspected it, you know, seeing what we do for a living, it makes sense. She also lost her dad and her best friend in similar circumstances. The problem is I didn’t know those deaths affected her that much. Anyway, there is nothing else to say.”

Coyote doesn't say anything for a moment, taking in the information and the way might have felt when he learned them.

“Well, she would have made such a lovely bride. What a shame she’s fucked in the head.” he says, ignoring what else to say.

“She suffered and she doesn’t want to go through this pain again, we can’t blame her. I’m not saying she should stay lost in her fear, it’s not healthy though, I get why she does.” Jake states before taking a deep breath and finishing his drink in one go. “I just wish she would trust our love more than her fears.”

Once he comes home, Jake sits down on his couch, sighing loudly. He runs a hand on his face, emotionally drained. As soon as his hand lands on his thigh, his eyes find a picture hung beside his TV that he didn’t have the strength to remove. It’s a photo he took at the beginning of your relationship, more precisely the day you told each other ‘I love you’ for the first time.

You had spent the day at the beach during summer. The sun was setting down whilst you were laughing at a stupid sentence Jake had said. He had stopped laughing before you, admiring you while you tried to calm your laughter. Then, Jake had looked deeply in your eyes and he had said those three words so simple and yet, so powerful. You had replied the following second with a big smile on your face. Before leaving the beach, Jake had asked to immortalise this moment. Thinking back on it, it was cliché and cheesy but Jake didn’t care. For you, he would have done the most cliché gestures if it could make you break a smile.

Jake keeps staring at the picture, your relationship running in his head. Without noticing it, he tears up before the tears stream down his face. It’s the third time he cries since your break up. The first time, it was the night of the proposal after he went home and the second time, when Bradley explained to him the reason behind your ‘no’.

Jake has never been good with his emotions. Between his education and his work in the army, he’s never learned to put words on his pain and to accept being vulnerable. With you, he had succeeded to understand himself better and to open up. It was still complicated despite two years together but he had improved. Now, he is back to square one. He’s back to his shell, running away from his emotions. Though, it doesn’t mean his mind isn’t haunted by 'what if's. What if he never had this accident? What if he had seen right through your fears sooner? What if he had managed to reassure you? What if he had managed to convince you to get the help you need? What if everything was different?

As for you, the questions are similar. Every night, you torture your own mind before crying yourself to sleep whilst looking at the spot where there once was the picture of your first ‘I love you’ before you ripped it off from your bedroom wall just like you ripped off both of your hearts from your chest.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist