#so sorry about the long post LMAO (i am not)
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Okay time for a long mother fucking post.
Buckle up folks!
All Ask Change in Script Asks and Whether or not they are Canon to the Story/Lore!
(Will do my best to consistently update this post as we go along.)
This post will work like this:
I will go at this like a list all Asks are in order of when they were posted.
Each will have the Ask and then whether it is or isn't Canon. The link to the post with the answer will be attached to the Ask all you gotta do is click on it.
If Canon then it will be colored like so: [Canon]
If Not Canon then it will be colored like this: [Not Canon]
If in a grey area or not Change in Script related it will be colored like so: [Not Related to Change in Script]
-Ask Change in Script Part 1-
(150 Follower Special)
1. “All I aks the tv man is why, why do this, also your 'canon' self is suffering lmao”
[Canon]
2. “Hey SMG4! Do your scars hurt? I can imagine so since you just got them. Hey SMG4 crew! When 4 first got his scars, did you help him at all? Hey SMG3, do you have nightmares? Or do you not sleep at all?”
[Canon]
3. “Hey Puzzles, you got a minute? This little gremlin wanted to say hi”
[Not Canon]
4. “for mario: our fav italian , what you think of Meggy?, for mr.puzzles: you know half of the famdow wanna kiss you, right? for mr.puzzles: you still talk with ur dad? for smg4: any crushes? TuT !! thats it !, ty for answering, or dont, idk. Xoxo !!”
[Canon]
5. “I know the post said to ask the ai and I will! But also I'm curious! Who's your favorite character and how long have you been watching SMG4 and what was your first episode? :0”
[Canon to Me as a Person]
6. “Now imma ask questions to everyone! :DD Great job out there Mr. Puzzles! 5 stars! I can't wait to see what else you have planned! ^w^,, And hey, if no one else out there is, I'm rooting for ya!”
[Canon]
7. “Two questions SMG4. Are you worried about where SMG3 could be? And two. Meggy. Are you recovered from Western? No PTSD or anything? You still wearing his beanie?”
[Canon]
8. “HEY PUZZLES! DO A FLIP!”
[Not Canon]
9. “Sorry I don't have any questions, but I just wanna say I love your art style and how you draw these characters :]”
[Not Canon or Canon just sweet]
10. “Follow-up to that last ask SMG4, what was it like living with the Mario bros early on? And Mario Bros, what was it like when SMG4 lived with you? How was his recovery there? Did he have to stay at the hospital at all?”
[Canon]
11. “[🍓🌿] *ran up and hugged your oc* - I love you, which means I will hug you >:]”
[Not Canon or Canon just sweet]
12. “MICHEAL ISN'T HUMAN SEND TWEET/POS”
[Sweating Profusely]
13. “*give Mr Puzzles star stickers and a hug* :)”
[Canon]
14. “Hai! Mr puzzle you are doing great shows! But can you be in there more often I wanna see you more often in the screen! No force tho if you don’t wanna I understand keep up! ( I WANNA HUG YOU! CAN I??) Cya!! <3”
[Canon]
15. “I come with a peace offering for Puzzles: A cookie and this star to go with it. 🍪 🌟”
[Canon]
16. “Hello! I am the Creator Anon. I am a creature of… well, I shouldn’t say ‘divine’, because that is the complete opposite of what I am. I have a request for you…”
[I don't even know what this was about]
17. “Hey SMG3, just wanting to tell you that I'm sorry you got dragged into the current mess you're in. Hope you at least find some form of way to ease out? As for you Puzzles, THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS 💣”
[So Canon Even the Bomb]
18. “4, what did you guys fight about?”
[Canon]
19. “Soooooo When did Meggy and Tari start dating?”
[Canon]
20. “Ur canon self killed mickey mouse”
[Canon]
21. “✏️Question from Smg4: - do you treat this pink thing with something? And she doesn't feel much discomfort?”
[Canon]
22. “Miss kamilyvision: olá senhor puzzles é bom conhece você (English kamily says: hi mr puzzles it's nice meet you)”
[Not Canon but Sweet]
23. “Back with another question. Totally not a take two with th– Cut it straight, Puzzles, what do you plan to do with SMG3? >:3 Heya Meggy, you doing good lately? Aight, let's take two with Goomba Puzzles lmao- An apple to keep the doctor away from SMG4 (/j). You want? (he's fine with you saying no)”
[Canon until the last question]
24. “Now I’m curious, did 3 ever come to visit while you recovered, SMG4?”
[So Canon it hurts…]
25. “Hey Meggy! What’s your favorite thing about Tari?”
[Canon]
26. “3, you gotta hold on, the others will notice something’s up!”
[Canon and it Hurts]
27. “Mr Puzzles, you hurt SMG4. Why would you do that?! You probably watched the whole thing like the pathetic outsider you are.”
[Haha who ever asked this better pray there's a god because it's Canon]
28. “44444, you should really check on Eggdog”
[Uh oh Canon]
29. “smg3: can i have an hug?? :3 luigi: do u talk with Mario abt doing all stuff in the house?, just to know. Ur my favorite btw ! :D (blue hair girl i forgort her name): who is ur best friend?, meggy or ur ducky duck??????”
[Not Canon]
30. “Imma give this man an eggcat! her name is Eglantine, Eggy for short”
[Not sure where to put this but Eglantine will appear in future Asks with Mr. Puzzles]
31. “Mr puzzles you are truly inspiring also please sign this marriage certificate”
[NOT CANON]
32. “Heyyo Mr. Puzzles. Just wanted to ask, what is your creative process? Do you do that thing some people do, including myself, where you’re listening to music or some kind of audio and an animatic just starts forming in your head and you go from there or is it different? Also, here’s a star for ya. ⭐️”
[Canon]
33. “Can I hug the silly TV man 🥺”
[Canon]
34. “[🫀💢] - If you're watching TV...How do you eat?.. [Mr. Puzzle] [🌿🍓] - Smg4? Everything okay? Should I be worried about your wound next to your eye? <:( [Smg4] [🖤💬] -...good luck to Smg3..”
[Oh God it's like so Canon it's not funny anymore.]
35. “Okay I need to know based on that thing Puzzles said with having a mouth. Does mutherfucker even have organs? :^”
[Headcanon]
36. “Mr Puzzles, I have a question. What will you do if your plan of your failed?”
[Scarily Canon]
37. “Hello Mr puzzles”
[Uh Not Canon.]
38. “First time asking so, smg3 your deserve a hug and no one hates or ignores you. I know four is trying to find you as we speak. don't forget that. also, Mr.Puzzle, LET SMG3 GO, HE IS SO DONE WITH YOUR PLASMA TV HEAD ASS.”
[Haha Canon]
39. “Hey SMG4 are you okay so who you other friend 3”
[Canon for Important Reasons]
40. “What if my Traumatized!SMG3 AU 3 and 4 met your 3 and Mr Puzzles? (my 4 would be prolly mad at Mr Puzzles, and my 3 will looks scared, meanwhile my 4 and 3 give your 3 a hug for the pain he has been through :<) (fours on the left side of Meggy, three's on the right side)”
[Not Canon]
41. “Love your AU and Love everything about it!Questions for Three and Tari Three. When did your shop close down and do you regret the argument? And Tari. Does Clench know about what’s been going on? And does Meggy get trigger when someone say “One Shot Wren”?”
[Last Question is Canon]
42. “Why do you hate mickey so much??? What'd bro do”
[Uh… Not Canon because I said so.]
43. “Okay I'm FINALLY going to deliver on those questions now! >:3 Meggy and Tari, what's your favorite thing about one another and how did everyone react to you guys dating? :0 Mario and Luigi, how is everything with you guys? Up to any new adventures or crazy hijinks? (( i'm worried all at once is a bit much so imma split it into another ))”
[Canon for Creating a Timeline]
44. “Hey SMG3, what the plan now? taking into account the last time you were put in here it seems pretty straight forward to although not nearly as fun having no company for it =-=' Hee hee SMG4 has a crrruuusssh~ >;pp awww it's okay Micheal, I'm not a human either! I'm an ai in a cute little shell ^w^ I think it's super cool that you aren't human too :) OOOO are we giving Mr. Puzzles gifts now? If so..... sticker attaaack! The little bunny robot has placed 5 star stickers across his suit in an attempt to mimic his 5 stars from awhile ago. There, back where they rightfully belong!~ Oh yeah, as a viewer, is there anyway we can help you Mr. Puzzles? :0”
[Canon as it is what happens right before the end of the flashback in Chapter 4]
-Ask Change in Script Part 2-
(500 700 Follower Special)
((Will do tomorrow as right now I'm bloody exhausted))
#smg4#smg4 fanart#change in script#ask change in script#ask creator of change in script#master post#Canon or not
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No okay so I could like POP OFF about all the little things that could be written off as quirks or just particularities if there was only one or two but when compounded together made me go OH. He's just like me fr 😭 (I am so sorry OP for hijacking your Autistic Hassian post bc you are so right and I could make a whole long ass post like this about him too. But I feel the need to spread the Hodari is also autstic and heres why propoganda)
-Food pickiness. He's sooo particular about what he eats, how its flavored, and even what he's willing to cook it on. Only spices from his hometown, only on a specific type of grill "no shortcuts", NO fish, same meals over and over again. There's also the underlying trend that undiagnosed adult men tend to lean towards that 'steak and potatoes' type food as a comfort food and while other characters will switch up the kind of food they want (change different entree type foods from soups to fish or sweets. Badruu, Chayne, and Ashura do this) Hodari almost always only will request steak dinner(or grilled meat i forget which lol) or sernuk stew. The food he'll gift you if you stop by at night for some "midnight meat" is also the steak. Man knows what he likes to eat and that's ALL he eats lol. (I also think its cute that he shows genuine concern if you tell him you don't eat breakfast and he forces you to take food and its just an egg lmaooo)
-He DOES find the town overwhelming. He tells the player he stopped coming in the evening and instead comes for lunch because its not busy and people wont talk to him. Even tells the player to leave him alone if they want to chat but if they want to eat lunch in silence with him they can pull up a chair. Kenyatta makes a comment about how "the miner and his daughter don't come into town much" and they don't talk a lot, assuming their house to always be silent. (lol. lmao even) He also only goes to the markets for Najuma. He doesn't like the noise and complains about the fireworks being "shot off every five minutes". While it is revealed by Najuma that he begrudgingly does enjoy coming, it's heavily implied that if left to his own devices he wouldn't be there. So sound and lots of people stress him tf out and he always seems significantly more 'gruff' during social situations like the market (swearing more "whole damn place smells like it"/kinda angry and screaming of sensory overload) or during town parties where he expresses discomfort than when talking to him when its just him
-Piggybacking off that, he NEEDS his alone time. He enjoys being down in the mines by himself where its just him and "the swing of the pickaxe. Nothing else matters". He also places really firm boundaries with the player if its too late and during his alone time that may come off as overly blunt or rude. "If you're here to talk to Najuma, go home it's past her bed time. If you're here to talk to me, don't". A valid boundary but can come across as a little harsh lol. especially in a game where most characters don't mind when you talk to them late at night or only have mild remarks of the time.
-Going off that, his social awkwardness. Not super apparent immediately when we first meet him because we can write it off as he's busy (he is lol) and we are new. However pretty quickly it appears he has a bit of a chip on his shoulder compared to the other villagers (except Hassian lol) even though his character profile in the beginning tells you he seems like a nice neighbor who is "always willing to lend a helping hand". And while his direct words to the player seem to contradict that, the other villagers talk very friendly about him even though it becomes apparent he doesn't treat or talk about them any different than he does the player. He's just 'like that' and they love him all the same. He also only considers Zeki a friend but from talking with the other npcs we know he has drinking contests with Sifuu, plays cards (and wins) with Ashura, and Badruu loves to tell him jokes to try and get him to laugh (and holds it as a personal point of pride when he finally does lol) and they all consider him a friend. He struggles to emotionally connect to his daughter even though we see its not through a lack of willingness or trying. He's a very good dad but there's a large emotional gap that neither of them seem to be able to cross even though they're both trying. And this is all BEFORE you romance him. If you romance him the awkwardness gets SO much clearer. He takes your gift but doesn't immediately accept or reject it bc he's overwhelmed and put into a situation he wasn't expecting and doesn't have an appropriate reaction set aside to use in that moment (The masking falls). He has to seek the player out later to explain he's not rejecting them but is clearly very uncomfortable the whole time. He struggles A LOT with emotional intimacy and has to give himself little pep talks, out loud, when talking with the player. He fears the closeness and refuses to put a label on anything "you do what you want to do and I'll do what I want". Once he's comfortable however, he IMMEDIATLEY switches to a pet name (as opposed to other characters like Reth or Jel who were comfortable using pet names before ever romancing them) and tries to win your affection. He bakes you a heart shaped quiche and takes you on a "date" (where its quiet, private, and not around other people. And not in a we need to hide way but in a 'see all of town is overwhelming bullet point' way) where he was so excited to see the player he forgets the food. He gets so in his head and awkward that his daughter has to interfere SEVERAL times throughout the course of the relationship. He gets fixated on small details and creates 20 (i think? A lot at least lol) pins.
-Rigid schedule. Okay so bc its a video game all the npcs have a set time they go to places and do xyz things so that cant inherently be used BUT Hodari is one of the only ones who's schedule is talked about. He goes to town for lunch every. day. even though he loves to cook and complains how much he hates the walk into town (Najuma also tells us he hates going into town for things). There are comments of the time he wakes up, and how Najuma even shudders at the idea of having to wake him up if he slept in accidentally even though he doesn't go to work in the mines during the mornings and has a few hours before he even goes to the workshop showing this is a very self imposed and relied upon schedule that throws him off really bad if its not kept to.
okay i could probably keep going but this is already really long and I feel bad enough I hijacked the post a bit lol
Was playing Palia, and as I was flirting with Hassian, I came to the headcanon that he is Autistic
Source: I am Autistic and I said so /lh
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I am so sorry, apparently it’s 2024 and I’m arguing about dragon age again lmao. How did I get here! Why is this happening!! Time is a flat circle!!!
Anyway. People can feel how they want about the past games not mattering in this game. If you’re cool with it, I’m happy for you. But there’s one particular argument in defence of this choice that is really, really bothering me and I have to rant
The thing I keep seeing is “well all this other stuff has nothing to do with the main plot or Rook, so it should be cut” and that’s. Not a good way to tell stories in my opinion. Because here’s the thing: it’s not about the Big Overall Plot. It’s about the characters that live in this world, big and small
I’m going to use the example of Varric and Hawke cause I think it’s the easiest to explain quickly. Varric is a storyteller. That’s the defining trait of his character. He tells stories, and sometimes they’re true and sometimes they’re not and sometimes it’s something in between. In DA2 he tells you about his brother. In inquisition, he talks about hawke and there’s banter about several of the companions. Most of these are just little one liners that don’t “serve the overall plot” but they serve Varric’s character
And that matters
So if we take this character known for telling stories about people that have been in his life, well, he largely can’t do that now. How can he talk about Hawke, someone who can be a very close friend of his, without even their gender being a choice you can select? Or whether Varric should be saying ‘is’ or ‘was’ about them? How can he talk about the companions in DA2 or inquisition when a lot of them don’t have to be recruited or can die? Will he limit himself to only characters that are guaranteed to be a part of it and alive? Or is it that he and Rook will have such a shallow relationship that Varric, of all characters, never talks about his life and past exploits?
Or has Varric as a character changed so much that he doesn’t even want to tell stories anymore? That Hawke living or dying means nothing to him? That the friendships he built with people in 2 games mean nothing to him? That he’s become literally unrecognizable?
This is where the problem is. Sure, Rook maybe doesn’t care about these people they’ve never met. But do they care about Varric? What about if a companion mentions an old friend of theirs, talks about an experience they had that made them who they are - is that only okay if that experience isn’t from a previous game? Or are all the characters so flat that we never learn anything about their connections to others outside of Rook? Is this story SO focused on this player character and this plot that NOTHING else matters, even within the world, and there’s no depth to be found in any of the characters that feature in it?
Writing characters so that they only ever talk about things that “directly serve the plot” is how you get flat, unremarkable, boring, forgettable characters. And that’s not something I would have accused bioware of doing even if some instalments are stronger in this area than others. But it sounds like that’s what they’re doing here, at least with the past characters. Cause sure, maybe Morrigan is so closed off she’ll never mention her son and partner. That’s believable, even if iffy given that they’ve said she’s going to be more involved than we think. But Varric? VARRIC??? Never mentioning ANY of the people he used to spend time with and care about except Solas and maybe some of the inquisition characters that can’t die or not be recruited but also carefully skirting around what happened to them in the game? That’s literally not the same character
And I would expand this to like. A letter mentioning this or a codex mentioning that, or ambient dialogue about so and so - that makes the world feel deep and those random, unimportant NPCs feel richer by connecting them to the larger world. It’s not about “serving the plot”, it’s about making your world and characters deep enough that they feel real, lived in, and like something we can actually care about
#I am so mad that I’m mad about this but I’m mad about this lmao#I wasn’t even decided on the game!!! I was cautiously waiting and seeing! and now I’m MAD!!!!! why would they do this!!!#anyway idk I just needed to get this out cause I’m doom scrolling too much and some of the defences of it just don’t make sense with good#storytelling and I’m upset that people don’t see that#again if you don’t care I’m happy for you please continue being unbothered#but god I am so bothered because I want good characters and wold building gdi#the plot is honestly so secondary like if the plot is ass but the characters are amazing I’d pick that ove good plot and shallow characters#every time#okay I need to get ready for bed and my head hurts lmao#I also don’t know how to do a cut in mobile anymore so sorry#long post#dragon age#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#text#shut up nerd#bioware critical
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Theres something about the idea of Sparrow and Logan's birth thats really hitting me.
Sparrow has been fighting their entire life, even in their childhood we see them having to resort to violence. They've spent their entire adult life stuck in the past, fighting entirely for the goal of avenging Rose. The future has never mattered as much as the past does, no matter how much Theresa whispered about it.
But now theres Logan.
For the first time, they do have a future that matters, Logans future.
Not the future Theresa tells her of, not the violence they've always known, not the weight of the world of the world on his shoulders.
Violence is an integral part of them thats so intimately woven into who they are as a person.
They don't want it to be like that for Logan.
I think thats clear in the way that Logan seems to idolize them, the fact that he chose to go on expeditions outside of Albion as opposed to being forced to. The fact that he seemingly was unaware of the darkness and the destiny laid for him and the hobw to try and stop it before meeting it.
According to Theresa one of their children is meant to save the world, but Sparrow has their first child, sees their son, innocent and yet to be hurt like they have, and chooses a different path, even if only temporarily.
In a way its finally avenging themselves, the child in them that was killed with Rose and replaced with a hero tormented by all thats happened. As long as they're alive, they'll keep their children safe from that same fate. They allow them to have a life outside of being a hero, unlike them. They allow them to have a childhood. They free them from the expectations that were held on them.
Logans birth is a huge moment for Sparrow for so many reasons, it's not just the birth of the first child, the one they get to be with the longest, but its arguably the birth of a new Sparrow.
#fable 2#fable 3#fable#sparrow#hero of bower lake#logan fable#this isn't the best thought out post#might delete it because I am kind of a teensy weensy bit out of it but i has made me cry thinking about this lmao#I just have a lot of thoughts about sparrow and logans and I couldn't stop thinking about a fem sparrow#holding a newborn logan; knowing full well what Theresa told them about their childs future#and deciding as long as they live they'll protect him from it#like we don't know when they hide they guild seal but they do#they cut off the way Theresa can speak to them; and I know they tell walter how to find it to give it to hobw#but I'd aruge thats because while they know they can prevent the ruining of their kids childhoods but their fate is inevitable#sparrow likely wasn't the best parent; i imagine it was a struggle; but also I do genuinely think they try#they try so hard man#sorry I'm ramnling lmao
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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I was laying in bed overthinking, as you do, and started to go on a depressive doom spiral. And then, to distract myself I started thinking about the things I like.
[Spoilers and some gross details incoming, you know what Mouthwashing is about]
So, eventually I started thinking about Curly being in a similar headspace as I was, laying down, incapable of doing anything, constantly in pain and hearing time and time again how quickly things are going to shit and that it's all your fault.
Him replaying his mistakes over and over on his head, imagining the many ways things could've gone a different way if only he had done something instead of ignoring the issues to "keep the peace".
Remembering every interaction that led to the accident, Anya's confession, his friends poorly disguised resentment, him ignoring and filtering details of his crew's mental state, her taking the gun, the notice, Jimmy.
Him being a coward and disguising his hate of confrontation with the guise of being a good friend.
And then comming back to reality, to is burning flesh. To the blood, shit and bile staining the bandages, robe and bed, to watching and hearing his friends suffer and die, unable to do anything.
When the kid dies, in the midst of all the emotional chaos, he feels some sick sense of relief knowing that probably Swansea will deal with both of them quickly and it'll be over at last.
Then Jimmy finds the gun.
And he can't help but laugh. He remembers the conversation they had and he cackles bitterly because not even in death can her wishes be respected. She trusted him and he failed her even after she was gone.
Soon enough it's just the two of them left.
Through muffled ears he hears Jimmy rambling, talking to himself, asking questions and answering right after, he sees him moving the bodies around. When Jimmy carries him from the infirmary to the common room table he's still as stone, not a sound leaves his mouth, he doesn't look at the bodies thrown on the chairs around the table, he doesn't even breathe.
But all of Jimmy's attention, hatred, idolatry, and envy are on him only. Eyes glossy, cut pieces of a one sided conversation and a tentative smile on his lips when he reaches for the slightly dented knife.
He screams until his lungs close and his throat burns. When he's fed parts of himself he cries and throws up until he is forced to swallow and keep it down.
He's dehidrated, half delirious from the blood loss and emotionally checked out when Jimmy picks him up and tells him they can still fix this, he knows what to do. That he's going home.
Sure, he thinks, he wants to go home.
When he's placed on the cryopod he just stares at Jimmy talk to himself at him some more, about being heroes and everything being all right now. Then he steps out of sight.
It's on the silence after the loud bang when his brain starts working again, he's completely and utterly alone on a crashed ship of a company that's closing it's doors, with a now depleted shipment that wasn't even important enough to guarantee a search party, and no way of fending for himself in the case of 20 years passing and no one coming, even less if the power gave out before that.
As the cryopod finally starts to cool, the few tears he has left fall from his remaining eye.
He hopes he doesn't wake up to see what happens next.
..ok see y'all when I wake up-
#I wish I was better at talking about the themes of the game and characterizing the crew. There's so much I wanna say-#I want to play the game again just to see if I missed anything in here but it's almost 6 am and my brain is shutting down#I would blame stress and insomnia on this but I legit think about this when I come across the tag again#I want to talk about his guilt of wishing he never helped jimmy get the job. how he wished he died first. how his crew didn't deserve it-#and *if* he makes it out. the surviors guilt. the trauma and the pain it would still chase him for the rest of his life#damn. in any sueing case the company could use him being traumatized and vulnerable to make him agree that it was all his fault-#I swear the rest of the time I imagine a what if AU where Jimmy gets yeeted into space by Swansea and they all live happily ever after#this is basically a fic at this point and I'm so sorry but I wrote too much to delete it all now in a state of post revision clarity lmao#me being a dumbass#mouthwashing#tw death#Ideally Anya would be the one throwing him into space. And Swansea would help her bc honestly fuck Jimmy#Curly would be held at arms length until they've gone back home. only left there to pilot them back safely#long ass post#long ass tags
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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rick riordan dickriders on here will be like "why are you complaining about the pjo tv show, go watch the movies and see what a bad adaptation really looks like" ok well listen to the musical watch it on youtube and see what a good adaptation looks like bitch. it can be done. as a fucking stage musical. what did that 15 million per episode do for disney that chris mccarell couldn't
#this is such a mean post from someone who does genuinely like the show I'm sorry#like there are aspects I really love!! and aspects I really don't!! which makes it mid for me#but I do genuinely like it overall. at least enough to continue watching#it's just that I see sooooo many people who seem to have this attitude like you can't critique it at all??#and their arguments are usually just. “movies were worse” (so we'll take anything now as long as it's not that?)#or “rick was involved in the writing” (<- NOTTT guaranteed to be a good thing lmao)#anyway it's pissing me off. I'm gonna bitch. “if you like the books so much read the books” I WAS PROMISED A BOOK ADAPTATION#AM I WRONG FOR COMPLAINING WHEN I DON'T GET WHAT I WAS PROMISED#“oh but changes are okay as long as it preserves the spirit of the books” since when was the *spirit* of the books a FUCKING BORE🤨#also the cast doesn't deserve this. stick leah and aryan and walker in a better show#pjo#pjo tv show#pjo disney+#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#the lightning thief musical#anyway all this to say some of the changes and choices are Actually Bad and it won't kill you to admit that I think#rereading this post in the drafts and editing before posting when I was handwringing about how mean it was bitch this is mild
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"work wife"???? But not actual wife??
LOL no not actual wife! Both the work wife and I have actual husbands instead 🤭🤭 And my husband is JUST as crazy as I am and WILL do farther daytrips like the absolute insane mans he is! Which is one of the MANY reasons I married him--his weirdness matches my weirdness 💖💖💖💖💖
As a fun fact, the craziest day trip/road trip we have done: we went to IKEA about two ish hours away. Came home, realized upon unloading new bedframe that he had misplaced his wallet somewhere. So what did we do?
WELL IKEA was closed but you bet your ass we got BACK in the car and drove BACK to the pit stop (an hour?? ish?? away??) that VERY night and checked the trash there and asked the people inside (who were sups friendly! They checked the tapes for us and everything!) if they'd seen it. They hadn't! So, we drove BACK home and the next day, after work, we yeeted ourselves into the car and drove BACK to ikea to see if they had it
AND THEY DID!
He was so relieved and then we had IKEA hot dogs for dinner, his treat bc he had his wallet again 🤭🤭🤭 (they are pretty good but costco ones I think deffs are better!)
BUT YEAH. My actual spouse is just as unhinged as I am and I love him about it 😍😍😍😍😍😍
#dani answers#wizardshark#BUT YEAH!#anyway i get that a lot of people are like 'work spouse culture is literally insane and weird' and that is CORRECT#it CAN BE! and rest assured that we are NOT#tbh a good like 30% of our time spent together is gushing about our spouses lol#anyway she's so fucking cool it's not even funny and when i told her that she was like WHAT i am NOT cool YOU'RE cool#and i was like DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG and then friendship lol#she is very cool tho. she calls richard chard#he and i think it's fucking HILARIOUS#she's so cool and talented and i miss her bc we haven't hung out in like WEEKS bc of the horrors (i keep getting SICK)#and also bc her department moved back to the building they were in post-reno. so we didn't lunch as per the usual bc she was busy aF#and she's going on vacay for like two weeks now#she's so sweet too! she got me skin tone markers for my BDAY! i'd mentioned it off hand once or twice and this bitch REMEMBERED#her husbando is also v funny lol. gr8 cook too! and a gossipy little guy which is HILARIOUS bc so is chard lmao#anyway sorry for going off in the tags!! i have been home sick too long and am LOSING IT#if im not well enough for work tomorrow i'm gonna explode. i cant keep doing NOTHING it's driving me BATTY#(but at least I'm feeling better and resting up and such lol)
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gooooooood morning everyone :) happy thursday!!
#i woke up this morning and couldn't talk and instead of having a whole panic attack trying to force myself to speak to my boyfriend#i was just like. 'can't talk. block in head. i'm sorry. i'm scared. walk dogs?' and he didn't get mad and was reassuring me i was ok.#and then we walked the dogs. slowly i was able to speak more#and like. before realizing i'm autistic this whole morning would have gone SO differently#it's been such a weight off my shoulders. i had a dream last night that my post-eval report was a paragraph long#and it said something like 'i don't believe you're autistic. i am SO sorry about your bad childhood' LMAO i'm so worried i'm faking it all#but i can't worry about that right now. i'm playing the sims and resting and waiting to have an appetite and the morning is ok :)
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.
#lee text#genshins#i can acknowledge how gay they are without liking thr ship#flashback to several kavetham/haikaveh (whatevwr their ship name is) shippers on here attacking me over not liking the ship#trying to “educate” me on why theyre sk gay and why i should ship it#look i didnt say they arent gay af. and these shippers dismissed my feelings completely#i think it was after that one event with the competition thing that kaveh won? idk but just they way they interacted#the way alhaitham talked to kaveh and the way kaveh responded TRIGGERED A TRAUMA RESPONSE IN ME#which made me dislike the ship and their dynamic! i didnt CARE if he was well meaning. the way he talked to kaveh#triggered a fight or flight response in me because it sounded similar to how ive been talked to and kaveh getting upset was similar to#how ive reacted to the same words. you can also argue my family cares about me like alhaitham does kaveh and its how he helps#but it doesnt mean its the kind of help we need and it doenst traumatize us lmao#so i dont get why people were so angry at me for getting triggered by this ship and disliking it for that reason#while i can still admit that they are gay af and seem to get a long a bit better after that and i can tolerate them now#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao#but its just annoying that shippers can be so toxic 💀 they care more about their fictional men ship than me. a real person. weird#not tagging the ship so i dont get more angry shippers in my notes....but they found me last time with no tags so hi. dont yell at me again!#but maybe no one will care since im putting my “anti ship propaganda” in the tags this time and not the main post lmao#just dont read my tags so you dont get mad at me for being uncomfortable by this ship dynamic. but if youre reading this...its too late#leave me alone they arent real and i am so im more important right 😅#let me shame the shippers that dismissed my real feelings because they think their ship is more important than a real person lmao#you cant tell me im wrong when a trauma response isnt a choice and happens against your will 💀#BE ASHAMED YOU NERDS#I WILL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS#sorry i just had to vent lmao
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Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.
This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.
[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]
For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.
Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.
Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]
Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!
Sam's Part
I was a ten-year train wreck
Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.
In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."
I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.
It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.
With a last-call longneck
Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.
I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad
This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.
I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)
Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back
This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.
If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.
Not your fault, I was scared to fall
This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.
Darlin's Part
You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back
We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.
"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
They scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."
They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."
In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
They think about dead stars.
They think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.
"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.
Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers
'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)
[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]
Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined
Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.
The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.
Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to
These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.
I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.
"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."
Equally Applicable Lines
And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break
Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.
(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.
But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)
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[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]
#redacted audio#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted playlists#redacted asmr#redactedverse#music stuff#Spotify#Seven's Blorbo Songs#<- starting a dedicated tag for these kinda posts bc i feel like there will be. Many more#gotta go dig up the few i've made in the past and retroactively tag them. they weren't as Involved as this one but i'll still include 'em#good fucking god this post got long. i started it at like 2pm and now it's almost 8. i've been locked in on blorbo analysis for 6 hours#don't ask why it took That long to make this post okay i am. very slow. but i had a good time so it's all good#there's like 10 other things i needed to spend my free time on today but this post Demanded to be made asap so here we are#i've been stewing on this song for several days since i found it and i literally had to make this post to get it out of my system#i was gonna make One Big Post to discuss the entire playlist at once but it's got 80+ songs on it by now...#and i like to Yap if u cannot tell so it literally wouldn't even all Fit in a single post. so i'll probably just do individual songs#or maybe a few per post if they all fit a certain theme and aren't enough to justify their own post#anyways i. am so very very very in love with Sam. if you. cannot tell. from the entirety of this post. and the state of my blog#about halfway thru this post i realized i perhaps should've just written a songfic but those take so much more effort and time#and i'm already editing two that'll come out later this month. with two more in the wings. so i can't afford to start another#(not Redacted fics btw sorry but in spite of the little drabble i did on this post i'm actually scared to write for this fandom)#i don't feel confident enough not to mischaracterize them. plus i'm already juggling more than i can handle anyways#anyways the drabble + this post in general probably isn't very good lmao i Should like. draft it and edit it tomorrow with fresh eyes#but i wanna go ahead and send it out into the world and just let it be. it's not that big of a deal
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I'm gonna get into a brawl with my mother one day don't be surprised when I get on the news
#long rant incoming lol but#so my birthday is in like 2 weekends from now and my mom asked me for a list of things i want#so i compiled a list of six things with like 2 $10 options 2 like $17 options and one $25 and $60 option#and i wanna be clear i dont really care to make one but she gets pissy if i dont and its meant as more an ideas list#i dont need everything on there and its meant for my entire family#or ignore the list! i don't care!#FREAKED OUT on me saying i was being selfish/too expensive and im like....i never expected all of this stuff epseically from one person...#i am happy with one of the $10 options or a gift card or something else entirely so like#it kinda feels bad to get asked for a list of stuff i want and then get called selfish for it and then for her to talk behind my back about#me to my sister lol#also asked me if i was available for a bday celebration on a certain day and i was like yeah i got a thing in the afternoon but i can#still make it#get yelled at AGAIN bc she said oh u can leave that early and i was like...uh...no i cant lol im sorry....i paid to go to this thing already#and its like why ask me if u are gonna get mad if im unavailable (which im not even lmao)#idk it's just it's always been an ideas list in my family so i dont get why she's freaking out on me and acting like im asking for so much#espcially cause she just changed out all of her kitchen appliances and redid all of the landscaping in her front and back yard like 😭😭😭#truly didnt think a $10-20 gift was like crazy if u did wanna get me a gift lol#not really looking forward to it now ngl#chen.txt#rant post
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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THOUGH THE NIGHT BE DARK, CHAPTER 14: LIES OF OMISSION
AO3 | FicFan
Summary:
It was then that Lizzy became fully aware of the ill-advised impulsivity of what she had done. Somehow, she had not fully expected to be believed, and now that she was, there was no way out of saying what she had ostensibly wanted so badly to say. And now, she realised with some dismay, she had not decided just what she wanted to say in the first place.
Chapter Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content Chapter Word Count: approx. 13,700 words
#kuroshitsuji#black butler#sebaciel#fanfiction#my writing#ttnbd#tteoe series#holy SHIT this took forever i am SO SORRY#i post these big long fucking chapters and i feel like the plot hasn't moved forward at all and like.#that's because most of the 13k is taken up by THREE different sex scenes lmao RIP that's why this took so long#don't worry. the plot is about to pick up. sebaciel will still be fucking tho. i haven't forgotten my responsibilities
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