#so socializing and having friends by me is really cool
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deathlygristly · 3 days ago
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The spousal person and I chose each other when we were 18. We're 44 and 43 now (I'm seven months older than him which I'm sure scandalizes antis, like I could roll over on my own while he was still a fetus so clearly I am preying on him) and we are still very happily monogamous.
Here's the thing though.
We're both autistic, neither of us grew up religious (well, the spousal person went to Catholic school K-8 but he never believed in it), we both lost a parent before we met (my father died when a month after I turned 7 and his mother died when he was 17, a few months before we met) and on our first date when we were 18 we both agreed that we did not want children and that we cared more about being happy than about outward markers of success and status.
Now 25 years later we don't have kids but we do have a lot of cats, and I often tell him that my dream is for him and the kitties to be happy and he says his is for me and the kitties to be happy. :)
We got married when we were 21, in a drive-thru chapel in Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge. No rings, no fancy outfits, no guests, nothing like that. Just paperwork and then driving around to the window for the officiant to say the official words, lol. I didn't change my last name.
I've been learning more about autism lately and listening to the Autistic Culture podcast and things, and maybe it's the autism, I don't know. Neither of us really understand conformity or social pressure. Neither of us are real good at socializing long term with other people. We like our routines and our rituals. We're comfortable with each other and very much not comfortable around strangers. Dealing with other people is A Lot for us.
The main thing though is that it was all completely our own choice, from the moment I emailed him and asked if he wanted to hang out without our other friends to now, when I am sitting here with a cat in my lap and he's in the kitchen making a dinner that we both talked about and chose, and then we'll eat it while watching two kdrama episodes that we talked about and chose.
Also I get really confused about things I see on here about marriage and relationships with dudes, because I don't recognize any of what the haters are saying. The spousal person does all the housework except vacuuming. I don't do all the emotional stuff. We take care of each other and support each other. He's really cool and fun and I love him more than the universe and when we're watching a kdrama and something funny happens and he laughs and I look back at him and I hear his laugh and I see his face....it's the most beautiful perfect experience in existence and I want to be near him for always.
But if you didn't choose it, if you felt pressured into it by society or religion or family, if you don't even like the person you're building your life with, if you don't support each other and you don't talk and you don't feel free to be yourself and you're just performing to please some weird external Other....yeah, I can see that being awful.
If what you really want is monogamy and lifelong commitment, you absolutely cannot force it on an unwilling pseudopartner. Domination is not commitment. Abuse is not commitment. Performing to please an external other is not commitment.
To me commitment isn't hard at all. It's the easiest thing in the world. It's just hanging out forever with my most best friend who is also the coolest cutest human to ever exist in all possible realities.
But based on what I've learned about other people since I got internet access...it's not going to be easy if you can't accept yourself for who you are and if you care more about conformity and social status than your own happiness and if you haven't taken responsibility for your own emotions and you aren't willing to work on healing your own trauma.
And if you do work on healing your own trauma and take responsibility for your emotions and get comfortable with who you are and with respecting other people as their own unique self and you find that what you want is polyamory or being single or whatever, go for it! That can be commitment too, to a steady set of multiple partners or to yourself and your own integrity.
I don't know. I think the point is that domination and abuse and forcing others never works and never results in long term happiness, no matter the number of people involved. You gotta respect the autonomous selves of others if you want mature committed relationships, of whatever kind.
Gotta stop here because he says dinner is ready. :)
everybody talks about men in trad marriages having affairs with their secretaries but it’s worth noting a lot of women back then had side pieces too. you can force a woman to submit to you legally but you can never force her to love you or maintain fidelity against her will. you can get rid of no fault divorce and get rid of abortion but you can’t get rid of fun.
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fclsebnnyodair · 2 days ago
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. ۫ ꣑ৎ . loser stiles and his out-of-his-league pretty girlfriend.
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pairing: stiles stilinski x fem!reader.
summary: when stiles finally asks you to be his girlfriend and you say yes, he can’t believe it —and he’s not the only one. you two come in very different fonts. but, you’re so quick to prove him and his self-deprecation that you like him, fully and shamelessly.
warnings: used of y/n… im sorry. a little fluff? reader being a menace and the end of stiles life (in a good way).
a/n: i tried my best to be funny and make it a little longer. a mother needs to feed her kids. based on this req <3
stiles stilinski had spent a solid seven-teen years being a complete and utter dork. a nerd. a disaster in human form. the kind of guy who could tell you, unprompted, that the fear of long words is called hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia but somehow still couldn’t spell “necessary” on the first try.
he was the guy who tripped over air, made obscure pop culture references no one asked for, and had a deeply unhealthy relationship with sarcasm.
so, naturally, when you—actual goddess, the prettiest face in beacon hills, social butterfly extraordinaire—agreed to date him, stiles was convinced he was being pranked.
“she said yes,” he had told scott the night it happened, voice shaking, hands gripping his best friend’s shoulders like he was trying to transfer the shock through sheer physical contact. “she said yes. to me. like, willingly. no coercion. no hostage situation. just… yes.”
scott, ever the supportive best friend, blinked at him. “huh.”
“what do you mean huh?”
“I just—” he rubbed the back of his neck, looking way too amused. “I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but… dude, that’s y/n.”
exactly.
you weren’t just popular. you are the cool kind of popular. the kind that made people want to be around you instead of just tolerating your presence because of high school hierarchy rules.
you had this effortless confidence, this ability to make everyone feel like they belonged—even stiles, who had spent most of his life on the outskirts of social normalcy.
you are the type of person who could go from hanging out with the lacrosse team and his girlfriends to sitting with the theater kids in the same day, and everyone would be happy to have you there. people gravitated towards you.
meanwhile, stiles had spent most of freshman year trying to convince people that his name was, in fact, not short for “stilton” like the cheese.
It didn’t make sense. and yet, somehow, here they were.
dating you was like winning the lottery, except instead of money, stiles got the incomprehensible love and affection of a literal angel.
which was great.
except for the fact that he had no idea how to be cool enough to keep up with you.
“you’re overthinking it,” you told him one day as you sat in your car, legs propped up on the dashboard.
“I always overthink it,” stiles replied. “It’s literally my defining trait.”
you laughed, and god, that laugh. It was the kind of sound that made people pause, made them turn their heads just to see what could possibly be so funny.
“okay, fine,” you said. “then tell me. what’s running through that giant brain of yours right now?”
stiles exhaled dramatically. “alright, let’s start with the obvious. I am a disaster. you are not a disaster. explain.”
you tilted your head, amused. “you really don’t see it, do you?”
“see what?”
you smirked, leaning in a little closer. “you’re kind of amazing, stiles.”
he blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
“you make me laugh,” you continued, like you hadn’t just dropped a bomb on his entire worldview. “like, really laugh. you make things interesting. and you care so much about the people around you. I like that.”
stiles stared at you, brain officially malfunctioning. “uh. are you… are you sure you’re not under some kind of supernatural influence?”
you rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully. “just shut up?”
and just like that, he realized something insane. you actually liked him.
not just in a “haha, he’s fun to have around” way. not in a “pity date” way. not even in a “this is a temporary thing before I move on to someone more worthy” way.
you liked him. dorkiness, sarcasm, ADHD-riddled brain and all.
maybe he wasn’t as out of your league as he thought.
still, he spent the next few weeks in a state of perpetual disbelief.
he kept waiting for the moment where you would realize you had made a grave mistake and move on to someone who, well… had the ability to walk in a straight line without tripping over absolutely nothing.
but you didn’t.
In fact, you made it very clear that you were, for some ungodly reason, into him.
like, full-on, public displays of affection into him.
which was insane.
because now, not only did stiles have to deal with his own confusion, but also the confusion of literally everyone else at beacon hills high.
It started with a completely normal lunch. stiles, scott, lydia, and you were all sitting together, as usual, while he rattled off some extremely important information about why the original ‘star wars’ trilogy was superior to the prequels.
“you just have to accept that Jar Jar Binks was a crime against cinema,” stiles was saying, mid-rant, when he felt a hand casually slip into his.
he froze.
the table went silent.
you, completely unbothered, just kept eating your fries, fingers lazily intertwined with his.
scott immediately stopped chewing. lydia raised an eyebrow. somewhere behind them, he was pretty sure he heard jackson choke on his drink.
stiles, being the mature and composed individual that he was, blurted out, “are you—did you—was that on purpose?”
you gave him a deadpan look. “no, stiles, my hand just accidentally fell into yours.”
scott made a choked sound that was very unhelpful.
“I just—” stiles floundered. “you’re—you want to hold my hand? In front of people?”
you smirked. “what, do you want me to sign a permission slip first?”
lydia rolled her eyes. “stiles, stop acting like you just won the lottery.”
“but I did,” he said, eyes still wide. “this is like if someone found bigfoot, but instead of running away, bigfoot started dating them.”
you snorted and leaned closer, whispering, “you’re an idiot.”
and then—just to completely obliterate stiles’s ability to function—you kissed his cheek.
the cafeteria erupted.
all right, maybe “erupted” was an exaggeration. but scott definitely lost all ability to contain himself, because he burst into uncontrollable laughter, clapping stiles on the back so hard he nearly faceplanted into his lunch tray.
jackson muttered something about how the world was officially broken.
and lydia? lydia just sipped her drink and said, “honestly, this might be the funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
stiles, meanwhile, was still sitting there, trying to process the fact that you had just kissed him in front of the entire student body.
“okay,” he breathed. “alright. cool. totally fine.”
you squeezed his hand. “you’re so lucky I can keep up with you.”
“I strongly agree.”
scott shook his head, grinning. “dude. just take the win.”
yeah.
maybe he should.
now stiles had zero business being on the lacrosse team. he was only there because coach finstock occasionally needed a warm body to throw onto the field, and also because scott insisted that he “needed to be included in the team dynamic.”
that was stupid, because stiles was about as useful on the field as a drunk giraffe.
still, here he was, suited up, trying his best to not die.
you were sitting in the stands, chatting with some of the other girls on the cheer squad, but every so often, he caught you watching him.
why on earth would you be looking at him when there were actual athletes running around?
at some point, coach finstock (in a moment of pure insanity) decided to sub stiles in.
naturally, it went horribly.
he got knocked over in under a minute.
hard.
like, wind knocked out of him, stars in his vision hard.
by the time he sat up, still gasping for breath, he vaguely registered that someone was calling his name.
then, suddenly, you were there, pushing past some of the other students on the sidelines, crouching next to him.
“oh my god, are you okay?” you asked, eyes scanning him for any visible injuries.
“you,” stiles wheezed. “just—taking a quick—dirt nap.”
you sighed, shaking your head. “you really shouldn’t be allowed to play this sport.”
“tell that to coach crazy over there,” he muttered.
you rolled your eyes, then—without warning—cupped his face and kissed him.
right there.
on the field.
In front of everyone.
stiles was pretty sure his soul left his body.
by the time you pulled away, he was definitely malfunctioning.
“god,” he managed.
you smirked, brushing some dirt off his jersey. “maybe if I keep doing that, you’ll actually start scoring points.”
scott, who had jogged over at some point, burst out laughing, —again.
“please don’t encourage him,” he told you.
you just shrugged, standing up. “what can I say? I like an underdog.”
stiles, still staring into the middle distance, finally processed what had just happened.
then, very calmly, he said:
“I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m definitely not complaining.”
stiles finally gets it. he gets you. 
It took three months of dating before stiles finally stopped expecting you to give up on him.
because the truth was, you could.
but for some ridiculous, unexplainable reason—
you didn’t want to.
and maybe, just maybe, that was the best part of all.
stiles stilinski had exactly one defense mechanism when faced with overwhelming emotional stimuli:
panic.
pure, unfiltered, high-octane panic.
and you?
you loved it.
you lived for it.
In fact, stiles was about 80% sure that her actual favorite hobby—above reading, music, and being generally awesome—was finding new and creative ways to make him short-circuit.
your weapon of choice?
kissing him.
at random.
without warning.
In the most inconvenient and socially inappropriate moments possible.
stiles was already having a rough day.
coach had made him run extra laps for “being a distraction” (which was not fair, because technically speaking, it was danny who had laughed first).
so there he was, post-practice, dripping in sweat, hair a mess, brain still recovering from almost getting hit in the face with a lacrosse ball, when you materialized out of nowhere.
“hey, loser,” you greeted, leaning against the locker next to his.
stiles jumped about a foot in the air. “jesus—you can’t just sneak up on a guy like that!”
you, completely ignoring him, hummed thoughtfully. “you look cute when you’re sweaty.”
stiles immediately turned red. “I—what—who?”
and before his brain could fully reboot, you leaned in and kissed him.
right there.
In the locker room.
With scott and half the team still standing right there.
stiles froze.
his brain immediately short-circuited.
somewhere in the background, he could hear the distinct sounds of his teammates reacting.
jackson made a disgusted noise.
“seriously? right here?”
danny, ever the neutral observer, just snorted. “I mean, props to her, I do love watching stilinski suffer.”
scott, instead of helping, just shook his head fondly. “dude. just accept it.”
you, for your part, just smirked against stiles’s lips, completely unbothered, and pulled away with a satisfied little hum.
stiles, meanwhile, was still frozen in place.
mouth slightly open.
face burning red.
brain? completely fried.
“did I break you?” you teased, poking his cheek.
stiles let out a strangled sound.
jackson groaned. “oh god, get a room.”
you turned to him, smirking. “jealous?”
jackson scoffed. “not even remotely.”
you shrugged, looping your arm through stiles’s. “good. because I’m not sharing.”
and then you walked off, dragging stiles with you—leaving the entire locker room howling in laughter.
stiles had one sacred rule in life:
the library is a safe space.
the library was for quiet and learning and pretending to do your homework while actually texting scott about supernatural nonsense.
the library was not for being publicly humiliated by your ridiculously hot girlfriend.
unfortunately, you did not respect the sanctity of anything.
stiles was sitting at his usual spot—textbook open, pen in hand, pretending to study—when you slid into the chair next to him.
“hey,” you greeted, voice suspiciously sweet.
stiles narrowed his eyes. “you’re up to something.”
you smiled, all innocent. “me? never.”
he squinted harder. “what do you want?”
you tilted your head. “can’t I just want to spend time with my adorable boyfriend?”
stiles immediately turned red. “I—you—stop that.”
“stop what?”
“being cute,” he hissed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.
you grinned. “make me.”
before stiles could formulate a response, you very casually leaned forward and kissed him.
and not just a quick kiss.
oh, no.
this was a calculated attack.
a slow, lingering kiss, tongue and all—just long enough to completely fry his brain, but not long enough for him to actually do anything about it.
by the time you pulled away, stiles was bright red, gripping the edge of the table like his life depended on it.
“why?” he gasped out.
you shrugged. “felt like it.”
stiles gaped. “we are in library.”
you smiled sweetly. “uh-huh.”
“In a library.”
“yup.”
“where people can see us.”
she leaned in, lips brushing his ear. “I know.”
stiles let out an undignified squeak.
and that was the exact moment lydia martin—who had apparently been sitting three tables away—very loudly shut her book and said, “I’m going home. this is disgusting.”
you just laughed.
stiles, meanwhile, buried his face in his hands.
now, there were rules when it came to dating in front of parents.
rule #1: no PDA.
rule #2: seriously, no PDA.
rule #3: do not test sheriff stilinski’s patience.
you had no regard for any of these rules.
stiles had just walked you to the door, ready to say a very normal, appropriate, and respectful goodbye, when you suddenly grabbed his hoodie, pulled him way too close, and kissed him stupid.
right there.
In his driveway.
where his father could definitely see.
and as if that wasn’t bad enough—
the front door creaked open.
sheriff stilinski cleared his throat.
you pulled away completely unbothered, turned to the sheriff, and grinned.
“good afternoon, mr. stilinski.”
stiles, meanwhile, had stopped breathing.
the sheriff raised an eyebrow. “you trying to kill my son?”
you smirked. “not today.”
and then she smiled—like a menace—patted stiles on the chest, and walked off, leaving him to deal with the aftermath.
the sheriff stared at him.
stiles stared back.
after a long, painful silence, his dad just shook his head and muttered, “unbelievable.”
then, he walked inside—chuckling to himself.
stiles, still standing frozen on the porch, groaned.
you were going to be the death of him.
and, honestly?
he wouldn’t have it any other way.
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vortexbloom · 2 days ago
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Phainon & Mydei as your Older Brothers (Headcanons)
Pairing (Platonic): Older Brother Phainon/Mydei & Female/Gender Neutral Reader
Fandom: HSR (Honkai Star Rail)
Warnings: None
☆ ────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆── ☆ ────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆── ☆
Masterlist - Honkai Star Rail
Masterlist - Genshin Impact
Moodboards - Genshin Impact
Boycott List
Valentines Special 2025
☆ ────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆── ☆ ────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆── ☆
English isn’t my first/native language, so there might be misspellings etc.
I do NOT own any Characters !
Have fun reading this :D
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Overprotective But Chill
Phainon isn’t the type to micromanage, but he always keeps an eye on you. If someone messes with you, he won’t hesitate to take care of the it.
Encourages Independence
He believes you should be able to handle things on your own, so he won’t baby you. But when you really need help, he steps in without hesitation.
Teases You Mercilessly
Loves to poke fun at you, calling you nicknames that you hate. But if anyone else tries, they get a side eye from him.
The "Cool" Brother
He’s the type that your friends would secretly admire, but he plays it off like it’s no big deal.
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Doting & Overprotective
Unlike Phainon, Mydei is very vocal about his protectiveness. He’d absolutely interrogate any potential suitors or friends if he suspects they’re a bad influence.
Encourages Your Interests
If you have a hobby, he’ll be the first to support you. Whether it’s art, music, or combat training, he’s there cheering you on.
"Because I Said So" Energy
He can be strict when he needs to be. If you stay up too late or get reckless, he’ll scold you while secretly being proud of your determination.
The Type to Carry You on His Back
If you‘re tired, sick, or just feeling down, Mydei wouldn’t hesitate to carry you around or tuck you into bed.
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Tag Team Protection
Anyone who messes with you would regret it. Phainon would handle the social mind games, while Mydei would just outright scare them away.
Sibling Banter
Phainon teases you, Mydei tells him to stop, and you just roll your eyes at both of them.
Competitive About Your Attention
If you ask one of them for help, the other gets offended. Mydei would be like: "Why didn’t you ask me first?," and Phainon would answer that with: "She clearly has good taste."
Opposite Reactions to You Dating
Mydei would be overly protective, grilling your partner for hours. Phainon, on the other hand, would casually intimidate your partner by saying something like, "I hope you’re not easily frightened."
They just love their lil sibling so much (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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Have a good day/night/evening/morning/afternoon ☼꥟☽
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utilitycaster · 2 days ago
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The reason those C3 fans shit the bricks over the Charity stream was because they viewed the charity stream as a win for them and bells hells. Not like you know, an actual good thing to help people in need. Because when it was announced they were in the qrts and on twt yelling that the cast closing to play as Bells Hells was cause they loved them above all. That BH were "winning" because MN didn't get one shots while airing. No1 expected anyone BUT BH to be played so they were fighting air tbh.
[Cont. So when Laudna got yeeted and Beau joined it, it's like they suddenly hit with the fact that the cast like all the times. All character sheets were available and BH was being played by default of the one shot happening during c3. But they hung their entire world view on BH being extra special that they broke. Saw them also being PISSED at Ashley and Liam for getting MN members to the top before everyone else and especially the gate was "showing up BH".]
Here is what gets me, as a person who does not follow sports in any form: The Mighty Nein are a juggernaut of popularity within the fandom. I think this is for the most part deserved and I also think a lot of fans of C1 who never vibed with any later campaigns are simply not active in fandom any more since it's been 7 years, and Critical Role had more recognition with Campaign 2, so like, numbers within active social media fandom are not a perfect indicator of quality, itself a subjective measure.
HOWEVER. If you want your team to win, the most efficient way to do that is to start rooting for the winning team. I get that this is considered treasonous to genuine fans of sports. But like, if your biggest priority is Number Is Bigger then there is an obvious solution and it's called jumping on the bandwagon. Otherwise, perhaps you should consider a different metric, such as "did I have fun at this game? Were the snacks good? Were there some cool plays?" (from this you can see my priorities re: live sports namely are my friends here and did I get some nachos and a beer but you get my point). Honestly, this is how I and a lot of other people have been approaching Bells Hells week to week for some time now: were there some cool scenes? Did the character they liked most at the time say something funny? Did NPCs do anything? Were the fight mechanics interesting?
I have a post that I am saving for next week about specific elements of C3 that goes into more depth but I feel like Campaign 3's fandom in particular fell to a certain attitude that feels very specific to a younger (to me, an ancient crone, so like, mid-20s) crowd, of obsessing over numbers: how many fics. how many notes. how much screentime. can you believe that Episode 100 didn't even have Bells Hells in it????? And it's like. who the fuck cares. Is it good? Is it satisfying? Because right now we're watching you guys all admit it hasn't been and 120 episodes in you were waiting for the campaign to REALLY begin.
I don't think the cast dislikes Bells Hells! I think they all like all of their characters, and frankly when the cast gets asked directly a lot of them go with a "you never forget your first" and give their VM character anyway so like, the vitriol at the Mighty Nein really is a petty popularity contest in the end. But Bells Hells are the party that the cast happened to be playing during the Moon Plot Campaign and the party that the cast happened to be playing at the time of the livestream. None of the three main parties are uniquely special. They are special to their individual fans.
I made the Elon Musk comparison for C3 fans earlier this week and I don't want to go too hard since like, he is truly horrible, and I do think that a lot of C3 fans, while currently shitty self-absorbed people, are also quite young and it is my hope that a sharp but ultimately harmless disappointment like this campaign might shock them into fixing their hearts, but the final lines of this post came to mind while writing up a lot of my responses: "And in fact I would argue that seeking to put yourself above other people is inherently going to leave you empty, because egotistical as you may be, you've adopted a values system where your sense of self worth intrinsically depends on other people. Congratulations, you played yourself."
If your day can be ruined because your blorbo wasn't present for 100% of a live stream for charity and the cast likes all of their characters? You should work on that! I'm not saying it's easy or fun but it really is a thing you should work on because right now, the worst thing that's going to happen to you is people laughing at your misfortune on social media. But if you keep up this behavior, you're going to be bitter and miserable forever, and it will be your own fault because you're getting mad that something that was never about you continues to not be about you. Learn to accept that you had a good time (if you had a good time, anyway) and it's over and that's okay.
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jaxofspades6 · 2 days ago
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oooooo heck yeah oki!!
3 ships I like:
obviously have to put Viktor and Jayce in here. Also I forgot their names but the two women in Raya and the last dragon, one of which is Raya lol, I forgot the other one's name but yeaaaaa OH YEAH ALSO I WATCHED TWILIGHT FOR THE GOOFS THE OTHER DAY AND NGL TOTALLY SHIP MC AND THE COOL SISTER I THINK HER NAME WAS ALICE OR SOMETHING
specialk mentions, zuko and katara, *oh my gods Glory and the assasi guy from wings of fire too that was so good actually* Torwin and Asha from the Last Namsara <3 sweetest shit ever, LEWIS AND FERN FROM NOT SO SILENT SDFJHSDJFGSJFGBSJDFHB I WILL GO FERAL FOR THEM, also Simon and The Guy (those who know, know, those who don't, I'm not gonna spoil it) from Simon vs the homosapien agenda,,,, SO GOOD
First ship:
honestly I don't really know, I guess the first ship which I was actually hella into had to be Cimorene and the guy who I forgot the name of from the Enchanted Forest chronicles.
Last song heard:
Teardrops by Bring Me The Horizen
Fav childhood book:
this is friggin harddddddddd, wings of fire was hella good, so was warrior cats, I also loved the white ninja trilogy as a kid, and the Land of Stories series but I friggin adored the Enchanted forest chronicles. I'm probably going to have to go with the Enchanted Forest Chronicles honestly
currently reading:
somewhere beyond the sea by TJ Klune, the beauty that remains by Ashly woodfolk, Raising steam by terry Pratchett, and Dragon Haven by Robin Hobb
Currently watching:
Not anything super seriously, mostly just social stuff, like rewatching Race To The Edge with a friend, rewatching Dungeon meshi with another friend, and also, (mildly against my will) jujutsu kaisen
currently consuming:
the nightmares of human kind, also a cool lil game called Hob <3
currently craving:
a fun lil game called Hob (but it's late and I need sleep)
9 10 Fandom Folks to Get to Know Better
Thanks so much for the tag @schofielded !!
3 Ships I Like
Okay so I’m currently writing for Anderperry so they have to be at the top of the list, Reddie is my beloved which I fear will follow me throughout my life so they’re next, and hmm idk what to put for my third one since I like to read for a lot of ships and have barely written for others. I think I’ll go with a surprise pick and say Boreo! Tragic gays for the win
First Ship Ever
Omg I actually cannot say it was too embarrassing. The first one I’m willing to say is Larry which is also embarrassing and I regret it but I fear the fanfic was so good sorry.
Last Song I Heard
Drums of Death by FKA Twigs. I am addicted, something about the beat is just so good.
Favorite Childhood Book
This is kind of hard for me because I mainly had author phases as a kid rather than just one book that I adored. Looking back, though, I would probably say The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo was my favorite. Her descriptions were so good that it made me want to eat paper like the mice.
Currently Reading
Four Minutes by Nataliya Deleva! It’s a queer Bulgarian novel I’m reading for my around the world goal and I’m really enjoying it so far!
Currently Watching
Just finished watching Swing Girls (2004) so I’m counting it since I’m between TV shows right now. Anyway the movie was so cute and feel-good, I definitely recommend!!
Currently Consuming
I had fried chicken for dinner if that’s what this is referring to. Anyway it was good!
Currently Craving
A strawberry limeade with added coconut and cream from Sonic 💔 I don’t have my car rn so I am stranded sadly
No pressure tags: @neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies @vinesandvellichor @good--merits-accumulated @lc-27 @axe-76 @dreadedwhim @poetrusic1959 @yawping-poets-society @scriptscraps @neilperryismine + open to anyone who wants to join!!
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kengi-bengi · 5 months ago
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Ayo got high, helped throw a birthday party, and left to play bingo with friends. Bingo was boring as hell and I was like "dam wish i was home chillin, or at the quiet birthday party."
Then after bingo I found out that the 'quiet birthday party ' was not quite. And got cops called. I was still high. I would have kissed bingo on the mouth.
Night ended with a hour and a half rant (shorter then my usual ones, but oddly more structured for being high). And now I will go eepy. Idk why I'm posting this. Honestly I think more for myself.
Its a rant. That it baby. Only art ive done is set up some animated icon assets for sale (not done to sell yet lol) and draw a bunch of classwork doodle's of my sona lolololol. Art might be lacking, but I'm finally touching grass, pun intended.
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Take edibles responsibly. I am of legal age and I stayed hydrated and with trustworthy friends the entire time. It might be a fun time, but your not indestructible. Be safe yall, honestly lay on the floor and rant, its really nice.
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lovestory · 22 days ago
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hi friends, if anyone happens to be reading this, i'm just letting you know that my blog has been intentionally wiped - something i've been contemplating doing for awhile now. to be blunt, i have been overwhelmingly suicidal for a good 6 months, so considering i log off feeling worse than when i logged on more often than not, i've decided to remove myself from social media for a long while. i need to figure out how to survive the sudden downturn in my health while doing postgrad and working full time (i collapsed out of nowhere and haven't been able to walk since before christmas, i am covered head to toe in hives 24/7 which are extremely painful and won't respond to any treatment - that’s just the tip of the iceberg, but I can’t just stop working and take care of myself like i need to) sending love ❤️
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moeblob · 10 days ago
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Silent Protagonist.
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shikai-the-storyteller · 2 years ago
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AWH... I'm skipping through Roier's QSMP Day 1 VOD because I'm looking for a specific thing, and I just noticed that when Jaiden stands in front of the group to do her introduction and her mic isn't working, Mariana laughs (not in a mean way, I laughed too) and Roier immediately smacks him and tells him off for laughing.
[Timestamp ~36m 50s, volume warning for Quackity's awful mic]
It's such a little thing, but I think it's really sweet in retrospect, especially considering how Roier and Jaiden have become such good friends in recent weeks :')
#i talk#qsmp talk#legitimately though I frickin adore Roier and Jaiden's friendship IT'S SO SWEET THEY'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS...#Jaiden was so nervous the first few days of QSMP and she talked about how she was too anxious to talk to people she didn't know#So this Egg event really helped her (and a lot of other people too)#It gave everyone a chance to make friends / bonds with people they might not have interacted with as much otherwise#it's just really sweet#I've got a special place in my heart for Jaiden I like her a lot#I used to watch her animations a bunch because my little cousin loves her#then I just kinda stopped because I don't watch Youtube creators much and my memory is awful#But QSMP made me start watching her again#and I found out all the stuff she's had to go through and I watched her videos where she talks about more serious stuff / her personal life#and like not to sound parasocial or whatever but my ''protective parental instinct'' went nuts after hearing all that#she's been through the wringer but it seems like she's doing a lot better#she's really funny and cool#but social anxiety is still a nightmare#I'm really glad she got Roier as her Egg partner -- he's so friendly and nice I think it really helped her relax a lot#and she's actually learning more Spanish despite saying she had 0 Spanish knowledge whatsoever when joining the server!!!#Idk man I'm just really proud of everything everyone's been doing on the server#and I'm really proud of Quackity for bringing people together like this. It's amazing#I love him so much and I'm so grateful this server exists.#First and Best Multilingual server baby!!!#Anyways I forgot how bad Quackity's mic sucked from literally everyone else's perspectives on Day 1 LMFAO#Roier specifically says ''Don't laugh!'' and ''Give [her] a pass!'' (for the mute issue)#alright I added a clip I can't not put a clip for this
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necrotic-nephilim · 6 months ago
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thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!
rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.
favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple
last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms
currently reading:
Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.
Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good
i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).
currently watching:
The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot
i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it
i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying
idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.
currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn
coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea
hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.
current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.
i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.
i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss
@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!
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spaghett-onaplate · 8 months ago
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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anaalnathrakhs · 9 months ago
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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catboy-a-day · 4 months ago
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Catboys 244, 245, 246
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kindaasrikal · 3 months ago
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I’m so terrified of people that sometimes i stare at their socials and think ‘i should talk to them’ and then just don’t and then realise I’m a lost cause and i go back to drawing depressingly
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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goldkirk · 1 year ago
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My five happy things for the day
• paper that has a good feeling texture
• things not feeling like an emergency EVERY second of the day, only part of the time
• the fact that these cheapo stamp ink pads from Walmart a few years ago somehow still have a bit of functioning ink not dried out?
• I’m able to track and retain conversations for longer periods of time again, I’m finally finally finally feeling some progress
• putting on a warm hoodie or coat when feeling chilled
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