#so socializing and having friends by me is really cool
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neostellarjpg · 16 hours ago
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inner mono-dialogue
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the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude
but youre cool already
like in the way that actually matters
youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it
youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it
youre similar to jade and john in that way
i really envied that about them
but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from
it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever
fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world
what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward
fuck that noise
i like your way better
Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.
:33 < thank you :))
:33 < but you know
:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding
:33 < its like
:33 < a shield!
Dave scrunches up with discomfort.
X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!
:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes
:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one
:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey
:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!
:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome
X33 < im a hunter after all!
:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality
:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself
:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!
:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave
:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly
:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person
Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.
:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there
:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical
:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying
:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away
:33 < which unfortunately
:(( < i never really knew how to do
Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.
Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.
But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?
You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.
And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.
You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.
You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.
You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.
And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.
A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.
It feels like a hug.
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kingdomaddiction · 3 days ago
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I've been thinking in a Cumplane friendship idea.--
You see, everyone seems to believe SQQ and SQH can't stand each other. Quite the opposite, really. When it's only the two of them they don't feel the need to keep up the pretence. It's so easy to relax, to put the mask aside.
They aren't peak lords nor cultivators. They're just two dudes in their mid tweenties trying to survive in this forsaken world.
SY knows he might not be the kindest nor the most loving of friends, (he spent so many years alone in a cold, hospital room, he's not good at socializing) but he does care for Airplane. A lot. He will never say it out loud because it's embarrasing but that stupid author is his best friend.
So, that's why when the news of Qinghua's disappearance finally reach him (two weeks, it took two full weeks before someone decided to tell him--- )they absolutely destroys him.
He seems calm at fisrt. Not truly procesing the news. LBG makes a few comments about something Mobei told him (you fucking knew and didn't tell me, how dare you, husband?! )
Gone, SQH? No, that's dumb. He couldn't be gone. He's a peak lord, he has responsabilities, a bunch of little ones to teach. He even takes care of the north. And most importantly why would he leave Mobei? It makes no sense, not fucking sense.
SQH wouldn't leave like that. He... he wouldn't leave SY behind.
He can feel sob building up in his throat. That... stupid, idiot--HACK AUTHOR!
His crying fit is so strong and sudden that sends LBG and his whole demon staff into a panic.
"Shizun?!" He says looking for visible injuries-
"Don't touch me!" He screams and LBG looks at him with hurt.
"Husband? Have... have this disciple done something wrong?"
SQQ just turns and walks to his chambers ordering LBG not to follow him. His husband is left feeling distressed and cries for very different reasons.
Later that night they talk. SQQ feeling tired and sad finally calls for his husband to comfort him. He explains to him why he is angry at him and LBG apologizes.
"This one thought you hated Shang-shibo and that Shizun wouldn't care about his dissapereance." He says in a small, careful voice. "Mobei jun came to the palace days ago to beg for help in his search... "
"You turned him away... " SY says, sounding very tired.
"Yes. But this husband will make it right, Shizun. I will find your friend for you, promise."
SY sighs and hugs his husband, hiding his face in his chest.
..
Idk 'm all over the place but the idea is that the system is glitching and took SQH and is kind of keeping him hostage? Like, in between worlds. Not the mordern universe, not PIDW.
I imagine LBG having a very hard time accepting his shizun worries and loves others and not just him (??? why??? I'm more than enough you need NO ONE else shizun). He's too possesive and would like very much just to lock his shizun away, but that would break him and he never wants to see him cry like that ever again. Even if that means he has to share his attention.
MBJ is very broken in this one fiding himself lost without SQH. they had just finally stablished their relationship so he's between angry and scared. Also his trust and loyalty to LBG has taken a blown since he refused to help him find his lover. Didn't he help LBG when everyone turned his back on him as he clinged to his dead shizun's body?
While they work together (before they can even figure out where sqh is) LBG slowly realizes he might have fucked up a bit and ??? misses Mobei ??? are they friends???!!
SY tries his fucking best to keep it together. Really, he loves Binghe but that man can be so dense.
They find where SQH is being kept. The place is like a limbo. Cold, and vast where no time passes. In order to get him back LBG, MBJ and SQQ work together to reforge Xin Mo and travel there. There's a cool fighting montage, tears, hugs and everyone is happy at the end
Yeah that's all i got so far. I'll be going back to work now--
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astrow1zar6 · 22 hours ago
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Sun + Moon Hot takes- part 3
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Sag sun Aries moon: this combo seems loud asf lol. No seriously though you definitely are one of the loudest people in the room normally. This gives big class clown energy. This gives those kids in class that always did the most to make everyone laugh and sometimes it’d work well but other times it can be obnoxious. Also if not balanced with any earth placements I can see these people being extremely impulsive and immature you tend to jump into things fast and get burned along the lines. But because of your impulsive nature you have a lot of fun stories to tell others and also tend to have a lot more fun than most in general because of how spontaneous you are. This is a combo that is always doing something wild. Usually big extroverts that love meeting new people and seeing new places. Doesn’t like to be in one place too long. Lives life in the fast lane. They usually live life in a very rockstar kinda way (drugs, sex, rock and roll) vibe. Which is something I admire a lot on how they make life look so fun. Usually go by the motto “I’d rather die young than live a long boring life”.
Libra Sun Virgo moon: giving princess energy. I can imagine these people to be very feminine (even the men). These are probably the most well kept people when it comes to hygiene. They usually always look put together and are normally really pretty people. This puts a more introverted twist to the regular social lite Libra sun energy. Usually big perfectionists and can get anxiety when they don’t look their best or are giving the best impressions on others. These people’s anxiety can be CRIPPLING. Your anxiety is your Achilles heel. You tend to worry about anything & everything. Your anxiousness can make you come off as almost “too perfect “ to others. You may come off as the type of person that people get shocked that you fart kinda thing lol. Although you prefer to come off this way it’s okay to be imperfect sometimes. You should learn to find more humor in flaws instead of taking them like it’s the end of the world. People will still like you even if you aren’t perfect 🫶🏽
Aquarius sun Leo moon: this combo is so cool to me. The people I’ve met with this combo are one of the funniest people ever. I’m usually not a fan of Leo moons but with an Aquarius sun I feel it balances the melodramatic attitude of Leo making them more cool like. They are really creative and usually can make a lot of $$ with anything social media related (highly recommended to get into YouTube, tik tok, podcasts) these people are so entertaining so normally they can get a big following. However many can have a difficult time forming relationships because they are very demanding and distant at times. Probably the most authentic person you’ve ever met. Their authenticity and rebellious streak is usually their golden ticket into getting such big followings and being so popular. These people are the definition of “idgaf” it’s so admirable.
Leo sun Capricorn moon: probably one of the most serious Leo combinations. I notice this combo is more anxious to shine than normal Leo suns. These people can surprisingly get embarrassed pretty easily. DO NOT clown these people or pick on them jokingly they will really crash out lmao. They hate when their character is diminished in any type of way. This gives big CEO energy, these people were the bosses of their family and friend groups. When they are immature this energy can cause a lot of issues in their relationships because of how bossy they can be. They can get carried away with controlling what people do and how they act which can be overwhelming for others. Allow others to be themselves you don’t have to control everything I know you like things to be a certain way but the world doesn’t go when you go. These people usually make really good managers and bosses. Are able to control any organization or business they have flawlessly with little effort.
Gemini sun Leo moon: I apologize in advance to anyone with this combo but this gives ANNOYING😭 I can tell these were those bad ass kids growing up with the silver caps in their mouths (iykyk 🤣). Theres a very child like energy to this combo that can either come off as very sweet and refreshing or these people are little devils lmao. This gives Micheal Scott energy from the office. I can see these people being so fun in non serious activities such as partying and drinking and karaoke night but things like working with them can be like babysitting. This is probably the employee that pisses you off all the time but is lit asf to bring out to do fun stuff. I can imagine these people to be really good humored as well, could’ve also been a class clown or hung around a popular crowd. Usually is pretty loud about their opinions and can have a very dramatic flair with the way they talk. Usually are very animated which can be very entertaining to those around them. This people can make great entertainers and talk show hosts. Are AMAZING story tellers even if you can tell if some of what they say is exaggerated it’s still so interesting to hear.
Pisces sun Sag moon: this is a very interesting combo, both Jupiter ruled but with such opposite energies. This gives a light heartedness to the normally deep spiritual neptunian. These people also have a crazy good intuition. This can make some pretty intelligent people (Albert Einstein has this combo) their mind tends to be very theoretical, spiritual and philosophical. However with all this mutable energy it can be hard for them to organize their thoughts properly you have a tendency to drift from reality when things get too much. Definitely a big picture person over details, too much details can stress you out a lot. If you learn how to implement all your fresh ideas you can earn a lot of $$ in your lifetime ! I’ve also seen it can be very difficult for these people to process their emotions. Neptune has a tendency of blurring emotions along with the sags tendency to avoid them it can cause them to act irrationally at times. When their feelings aren’t in check they can completely fuck themselves over with little consciousness of them doing it. When under pressure they can be really impulsive and naive. Can have a very out of the box sense of humor as well.
Taurus sun Scorpio Moon: talk about stubborn. No seriously it’ll take the hands of god himself to make these people move or change ways. They don’t budge until they want to (which usually takes awhile or never happens) they usually take a really long time to trust someone but once they do you’re theirs for life. They can be really possessive of the people they love and can struggle with jealousy if their person is close to others (even family at times if they are really insecure). They tend to come off as very chill and laid back but they’re usually hiding a strong intensity behind that down to earth personality. They have a tendency of suffocating those around them because of their fear of abandonment. I see people with this combo have a big thing with abandonment. They tend to fall for people that feel like home and allow them to be comfortable being themselves (cuz they struggle with this normally). Overall though very loyal and sensual people they will go to the moon and back for you if they love you.
Pisces sun Aquarius moon: these people are the real life ETs of the zodiac sun moon combos. Really though they vibe at such a different wavelength than the rest of the world. One word use to describe these people are “Woke”. Its was estimated that Jesus Christ actually had this sun/moon combination. (Surprise for all the people that thought Jesus was born in December). They have this deep inner desire usually to help humanity in some way, usually by using spiritual means. These people can excel in pursuits like reiki healing, crystal work, yoga/meditation instructor, music therapist, priest ect. Works good with healing the subconscious of others. Growing up however they could’ve been outcasted a lot for being “weird” or “off putting”. This rejection allowed them to grow such a strong wisdom when it comes to human nature. When they grow to be confident in their unique natures they are really able to heal themselves and those around them.
Pisces sun Pisces moon: one word DELUSIONAL😭 these people are never really in the now they are elsewhere in their minds floating off you can just see it in their face lol. This isn’t the most ambitious of combos and can usually sabotage a lot of good career opportunities by procrastinating and escaping their responsibilities. If not balanced with any earth placements you should learn techniques on grounding! If not you can neglect a lot of your responsibilities. Breath work practice and meditation usually help these people (anything spiritual really). Because of their imaginative tendencies they can be amazing artists and musicians (they especially love music). Big romantics at heart and is main goal in life is to find their soulmate, can sabotage their goals for love a lot. Usually ends up attracting toxic people sadly but this is usually a muse for their art.
i apologize for taking so long to make a part three. I did not forget your requests 🫶🏽♥️
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maxdibert · 1 day ago
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i saw that you used to read dramione fics and cool with hermione/krum
do you think that as a romantic ship ron is not a match with hermione? or any thoughts on ron weasley in general?
For me, the dynamic is everything in a ship. I have very specific preferences when it comes to the kind of dynamic that hooks me between two characters or the types of personalities I like. Enemies to Lovers has always been something I really enjoy, mainly because I’m a sucker for drama. I mean, I love the hard stuff: different worlds, countries at war, opposing political/social positions. The characters don’t necessarily need to be enemies, but there has to be some element that puts them on opposite sides and creates drama.
I also really love power couples—characters who are both A+ in the same field, complement each other to become even more brilliant, and have this push-and-pull dynamic with unresolved sexual tension.
In general, I’m very into the idea of two characters who have lived a lot, come from vastly different backgrounds, have been through a lot of crap, and then suddenly meet, and bam! It’s almost like a coincidence because they wouldn’t normally have crossed paths, but they do, and something unexpected comes out of it. That’s the kind of feeling I just don’t get from childhood friends to lovers. It’s something that bores me so much. I know it’s a trope many people enjoy, and I understand why, but to me, it feels super bland. Even more so if one of the characters doesn’t seem to deserve the other, like Ron, who, to me, acts like a jerk to Hermione several times. Plus, his family feels like some kind of cult.
Honestly, I think Hermione should’ve married someone in her 30s—maybe a politician or someone highly intellectual who could challenge her mentally. I picture her as a modern 21st-century woman, not just another Weasley baby-maker. I really can’t stand the Weasleys in general; they seem super toxic and have this traditional family dynamic that repels me. I firmly believe Hermione and Ron would have ended up divorcing before their 40s, once their two kids were at Hogwarts and they were left alone at home without them.
But to answer your question more directly: No, I think Ron is a boring match for Hermione. There’s no tension, just silly and childish arguments. There’s no passion, no je ne sais quoi. At least Viktor/Hermione is cute. I like it for that reason. Krum is this international star but super introverted, chased by all the girls, and suddenly he notices the one who doesn’t care about him and asks her out before anyone else. I think it’s adorable. A wholesome teenage romance that makes you smile. But honestly, since the fourth book, Ron has grossed me out in general. I see zero chemistry between him and Hermione. I imagine them having super mediocre sex, honestly, lol.
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teoft · 1 day ago
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It's like Tumblr has become almost a diary for me, thanks to no character limit and a read more button. This atmosphere of acceptance and understanding helps a lot too.
I'll get back to posting actual art, juggling with Twitter and Bluesky along with commissions is taking up a lot of my time.
Anyway, thoughts about art community and being social
For the longest time I've had this feeling of being an outsider in this vague community of artists that see as colleagues of sorts. Like I meet all the "criteria" of being in the group, and yet don't really feel like I'm part of it. Well, it seems I am right in some way, and the reason is that they interact with each other, while I sit here drawing alone.
Unfortunately I've always been prone to isolate myself from others. I grew up feeling like I should be ashamed of loving to draw, since it was always fanart monsters, creatures and cool guys instead of "proper art" like animals and portraits. Before social media, I only drew for myself and never showed anything to anybody. I hid my art from my family, from the world, so that I wouldn't be judged. I think it is one of the biggest reasons why I have trouble interacting with people in the context of art (tbh I'm shit at being social anyway but that's a whole another problem).
Even when I had a scanner and means to post my art online, I never did, due to the whole "if you put something online it'll be there forever" mindset. My first actual account anywhere online must've been Facebook in 2010ish, where I only had a few friends. It was the perfect place for me to finally post anything online, and so I did: I used to post pretty much everything I drew on there. Slowly gaining courage, I eventually made my original Tumblr account, then Deviantart, Twitter, etc.
Still, all I did was throw my art out there in hopes of somebody liking it. I didn't really know how to interact with the people who commented on my posts, so instead I mostly just... made more art. I did have some friend groups here and there, but either they ended up falling apart or my social battery drained in such a way that I slowly drifted away. I had gotten used to just being by myself and relying only on myself in the online art world.
During my design studies, I started putting more thought and work on promoting myself, so that it could be one career path for me to take. My mindset was that I'll work hard and become "big", even if it meant that one post gained me just one follower. In 2020 I ended up going viral with a meme and suddenly getting tens of thousands of followers. It was great and a welcome boost of morale, but unfortunately 2020 was otherwise one of the worst years in my life.
Throughout the years people have come and gone, so the only constant for me has been myself, and my drive to develop my skills. Thus it's been too easy for me to just isolate myself. In a way it has been my strength with regards to art, but sometimes I wish I knew how to make lasting connections. I think/know I might be autistic to some degree, which adds to the difficulty of being social. Though, to be honest, I don't know if I'd gotten this far without my autistic hyperfixations.
I guess the thing I need to do now to fix this problem of loneliness and isolation is to just... slowly try and be more social. To reply to comments and talk to people. All of which is easier said than done. Still, just gotta take that first step and then keep going.
Despite lacking the kind of community I yearn for, it seems I've made a name for myself, enough so that people seem to take pride in knowing me. Or at least that's the impression I've gotten a few times. But still, I am happy that I've had a positive effect on people. After all, my two main motivators in art are that I like doing it, and I like when people enjoy my art.
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normal-enderman · 11 hours ago
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My interpretations of people in the Life Series, as someone who is a very casual viewer and has no emotional investment in the series and barely knows any of the fandom knowledge below surface level.
Jimmy - stupid. so stupid. he barely has two braincells to rub together. but unfortunately for me i find it adorable. hes also blonde and young and pretty and im a basic idiot who likes young pretty twinks. he also has a really pretty smile. but hes so stupid. he sucks at minecraft. he dies all the time. his editing is also mid.
Joel - my second favourite after Jimmy. did I mention Jimmy's my favourite? no I didn't. im not basic. shut up. Joel is really cool. he's very funny and i love the overly-aggressive persona he puts on, he's one of the people who gets the most into roleplaying (it's basically his default for whenever he's on camera, he has a very defined cc persona that he never breaks out of), so it's easy to get immersed watching him. his editing is also seamless and brilliant. and he has good music taste. just a cool guy. i like the green streak in his mc skin.
Lizzie - usually when people call women quirky, they're being cringe incels who want a manic pixie dream girl. but i swear i mean it in the most sincere, old-fashioned use of the word way when i say Lizzie is quirky and i fucking love it. her aesthetic is cutesy pink kawaii, but the more you watch her the more you realise there's something delightfully strange about her. she's also incredibly fucking funny. the way she delivers lines just cracks me up. the way she speaks and phrases things and approaches the situations she finds herself in in general is awesome. despite her cutesy aesthetic, she's surprisingly tough as well. her editing is also a seamless, immersive delight.
Scott - master manipulator who gets violently mischaracterised by the entire fandom. he's definitely one of the smartest members of the Life Series SMP, he's always planning everything out, he always has a backup plan, he always seems to be three steps ahead. And again, a master of maximising his income of social capital. He's an expert at utilising his connections with the people around him, and always seems to be able to use his relationships to manouvre himself into an advantageous position. i don't understand why people make soft flower husbands art because Scott just seemed like he was taking advantage of Jimmy to me. in fact I dont understand why yall make scott soft in general, he's one of the most ruthless players from what I've seen. bit weird to mischaracterise "the gay one" as the soft guy, no? also why do you draw him as thin when he is chubby. why is his intro so fucking loud.
Bdubs - i have never watched this guy's POV because his editing is bad but he's always appearing in the corner of other player's POVs being adorable. he's like a little bug. he's always yelling and it's so incredibly unthreatening. why is his face all beat up like that what happened to the little guy.
Etho - he's friends with Bdubs and he's Canadian and he lives in the woods and fights moose and he's good at redstone and also some sort of cryptid. i have heard this. i have, however, not watched this because i have ADHD and the way he edits (or rather doesnt edit) his videos is so boring that i cannot watch them for longer than five minutes. which annoyed me because i really like his chill badass vibe and would like to see more of him, but alas. get better at editing etho. i also love the fan designs people make for him very much, especially when they make him into some sort of wolf or beast. makes sense since he's hunting all those moose.
Grian - HOT TAKE HERE. I'm not the biggest fan of Grian. His POVs are not very interesting. I guess people like him so much because he has a mad killer instinct and watching him hunt people down and get kills is fun. And this is true! I also like watching this! However, before it gets to the killing spree part, he's very self-contained and doesn't take much interest in what the people around him are doing (unless he is managing / leading them), which is boring for me because i'm interested in people's interactions with each other. Grian is actually far more interesting from other people's POVs, because from there you can see how his self-contained nature, tendancy to lead and thirst for blood and chaos affect everything around him, something which he himself seems to not notice because he is too focused on only dealing with the stuff that's immediately relevant to him.
Scar - what a charming man. oh my god. holy shit. sir. sir. what the fuck. he's also so funny. and has a little bit of the nature of a wet cat surrounding him. why does he love roleplaying being some form of scam artist so much that he choses to do it literally every single season. its like he cant stop himself. he has a scam artist disease. he also likes Starwars also one time he mentioned that he can't stand on twitter and everyone yelled his name. actually he does stuff that makes people yell his name in shock/exasperation a lot and its like a greek chorus. i also love the way he speaks in his voiceovers, his voice is very smooth.
Pearl - she has wolves apparently. this is a thing that i have heard about that has happened at some point. yes.
Cleo - they speak in a mocking tone and it makes me feel like i am being bullied in secondary school so i do not like them.
Impulse - this person does, in fact, exist, and may have done things at some point.
Geminitay - people draw her with antlers and that is cool
BigB - i have never seen this guy a single time in anyone's POV but apparently he is there! he keeps to the shadows.
Ren - there is a larper in this SMP. which is not a bad thing at all! I love hardcore minecraft roleplay! i am a Dream SMP fan, incidentally. which is related to nothing. The way he roleplays so intensely and in such a distinct style is a bit of a weird clash with the almost zero roleplay from everyone else, though. You have to all be into the roleplay and outputting the same amount of commitment to the bit, or it doesn't work and i just get secondhand embarassment watching. But I appreciate it nonetheless!
Other people who i've forgotten because i dont care about them - they sure do exist and are doing cool things yep
Thank you for reading my useless list, from a "fan" who isn't really invested enough to be a proper fan. I love minecraft men kissing. peace.
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divtanver · 2 days ago
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Your AU inspired me to write a short story based on it. Here it is:
Seventeens laps
Prologue
Arrival at the funnel
It was not easy to return to Green Hill. For many years, this place, so accustomed to his former essence, existed only in worn-out memories, good and not. Friends, places and the smells of fresh-growing grass, like drawings on an abandoned beach, were systematically washed away with each new tide of monotonously passing days, leaving behind only faintly legible patterns of images once familiar to him. At some point, he himself began to believe in the illusory nature of the few fragments of the past remaining in his now relatively healthy mind, until an invitation came to his new address a few days ago. Tired eyes with green irises immediately recognized the familiar handwriting, in those old days, the immensely energetic and enthusiastic blue blur, instead of reading constant love cards, preferred wind-like freedom, unencumbered by relationships and misadventures. But a lot has changed since then, he is no longer a world-saving hero, but a recluse hardly leaving his new place of residence. So far from his native lands, the best times of which are now far behind the new era. Despite Eggman's death, the long-awaited peace never came. On the contrary, scavengers of all sorts and qualities gathered from all over Mobius, each of whom wanted to bite off a piece from the cooling corpse of a hitherto great empire. For a while, they were held back by Metal Sonic, which, with the remnants of Badnik's army, tried to preserve the legacy of its creator, desperately fighting for every crumb of his greatness only to eventually inherit the same fate of the ghost of bygone times. However, he was not the only one, a wave of changes swept through all the inhabitants of Green Hill, somehow affecting the once examples of selfless struggle for freedom that have now turned into legends living in the stories told by local parents for their starving children. And a blue hedgehog named Sonic became one of them, but he was in no hurry to declare his existence in the flesh. Wearing a warm red jacket over a white T-shirt, dark brown tight trousers and a grayed scarf around his neck, he walked along the somewhat snowy street of the night settlement, ignoring the white particles settling on his head. If anyone were nearby, he would still cover himself, but not for their peace of mind. Fortunately for him, there were no such people here, which made the slightly frosty and pleasant-to-breathe air somewhat lift his habitually not very good mood.
After the incident, the self-contained prickly preferred loneliness to openness, despite all the efforts of doctors aimed at his socialization. However, no one else seems to have tried, for the overwhelming majority it seemed much easier to erase an annoying stain than to redraw an established picture. Sonic himself was not even sure if the intentions of the psychiatric staff were really as altruistic as they wanted to seem, and were not motivated by the simplest need to discharge another patient as soon as possible. Probably few people thought about the success of such an idea, if the closest and most supportive Mobian disowned the blue hedgehog, then what could be expected from the rest of the world? Surprisingly, those who knew the fallen savior the least, such as the armadillo Mighty and the flying squirrel Ray, turned out to be the most responsive. All those long years of living together with his old, but still barely familiar friends, they provided him with shelter and food, and in return he helped them in every way he could, constantly feeling like a burden on the shoulders of their much more cohesive and self-sufficient duo. Until some time. Since his cohabitation, their behavior has undergone some changes, becoming more distinct every day. They increasingly avoided eye contact with Sonic, as if they were afraid to look into his eyes. He understood them, sometimes being afraid of his own reflection, terrible from lack of sleep. They gradually stopped communicating with him, occasionally exchanging only general phrases. He was not offended because he himself was not a fan of long conversations. They eventually started avoiding him, and he didn't blame them, remembering well why. But then it started. More and more often, he noticed minor disputes arising between Mighty and Ray. First of all, the blue hedgehog perceived this as a standard part of any relationship, who doesn't have them? Especially next to him. However, they soon escalated into conflicts that arose almost from scratch and only with the last burst of hands did not reach a fight. It began to seem to him that his own presence exasperated the two comrades and tore apart the seemingly indestructible friendship, in phrases unpleasant from the volume, he increasingly thought of his own name. Worried about the duo who sheltered him, the blue hedgehog decided to leave, the only question is where? His ignorance ended on a paper that unexpectedly came to him so familiar, the contents of which were quite... desirable. However, this did not surprise him because the hedgehog who sent him, named Amy Rose, always showed some attraction to him and despite the long-severed ties, he was still glad to meet her. Having collected the minimum necessary from his few savings, he left a no longer hospitable place. Now his life is heading south - towards Green Hill, along a sparsely populated train and snow cover.
Remembering the past that brought him here, Sonic almost missed the peach-colored house he was looking for, fenced in with a beautiful, as if real planting of small, evenly trimmed shrubs with red roses growing densely on top, the ubiquitous snow precipitation accumulated anywhere but on them. His appearance was clearly expected. The view, so beautiful for his gray-accustomed eyes, made a contradictory impression on him - based on the not-the-best view of a number of houses he had passed and the news papers he had read, the blue hedgehog expected to see the general desolation and withering. The girl with the hammer, whom he remembered, would hardly have allowed herself such a luxury when others around lived in poverty. However, at the moment, with his meaningless thoughts, he was only wasting someone else's time, which he had already taken away quite a lot once. Slowly getting through, Sonic stopped at the front door to release excitement and indecision from his lungs, after which he knocked on the door three times.
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
Soft footsteps sounded on the other side...
This is for the people who have gotten interested in the exe au, but…..
I’m giving up on the exe au help😭😭😭🙏 because like idk how to make it interesting and end well:(
So ima just move on to a different project if that’s okay? (I will still make Art about it this is just my very first time actually making a comic even if it was short and unfinished.)
For the new people here welcome and here’s here’s art too lol
And the link of what I’m talking about
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kengi-bengi · 3 months ago
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Ayo got high, helped throw a birthday party, and left to play bingo with friends. Bingo was boring as hell and I was like "dam wish i was home chillin, or at the quiet birthday party."
Then after bingo I found out that the 'quiet birthday party ' was not quite. And got cops called. I was still high. I would have kissed bingo on the mouth.
Night ended with a hour and a half rant (shorter then my usual ones, but oddly more structured for being high). And now I will go eepy. Idk why I'm posting this. Honestly I think more for myself.
Its a rant. That it baby. Only art ive done is set up some animated icon assets for sale (not done to sell yet lol) and draw a bunch of classwork doodle's of my sona lolololol. Art might be lacking, but I'm finally touching grass, pun intended.
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Take edibles responsibly. I am of legal age and I stayed hydrated and with trustworthy friends the entire time. It might be a fun time, but your not indestructible. Be safe yall, honestly lay on the floor and rant, its really nice.
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bonetrousledbones · 11 days ago
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Can you tell us your the reasons for why you like Papyrus? (I’m sure you’ve did this before xd, but I always enjoyed rambles about Papyrus. Hope you’re well!)
oh it is 100% his whole loneliness thing. growing up i was a chronic friend group hopper all the way from kindergarten to 8th grade and then by high school that didn't work anymore so i just kinda didn't have any genuine friends for basically that entire 4 years. so hyperfixating so hard on a character who's basically completely centered around that struggle helped me feel a bit less hopeless about it. the funny thing is i think pre-undertale papyrus actually had more friends than i did back then but like its the little things
that's why this fic that i'm gonna plug again hit me so hard tbh. shit sucks when you're trying so so hard to be friendly and engage in other people and then you get to a point where you have to realize they're not at all interested in returning the favor, even if they're not overtly rude about it or anything, they just don't care to get to know you any deeper than surface level convenience and it gets real hard to not let yourself get angsty about it lmao
i do think that while sometimes i wish i hadn't been given such free internet access as a kid i'm still really lucky that i was able to be exposed to undertale when i was. it's such a unapologetically hopeful game that i'm sure it absolutely impacted the way that i think about things today in terms of optimism and the ability to turn bad situations around, and papyrus plays a huuuge part of that entire message. if it weren't for him, i'm honestly not sure if i would've had the drive to keep trying to connect with other people even when it didn't work for so long.
so tl;dr thank you funny little skeleton man for constantly reminding me that making friends is still possible even when your demeanor is frankly weird as fuck. sometimes you just gotta keep truckin until you find your people even if it takes a while
#trousled rambles#emphasis on rambles#ew this is sappy as hell who put this on my blog dont read this ewwwwwwwww#btw now that i'm in college i finally ended up with a group of friends who actually make me feel like they want me around regularly#so it really is possible i promise :> yeah i woulda liked if it happened sooner but i've never had this many friends before in my lifeee#that being said do u know how annoying it was to hear those fuckers thought i was cool in high school but were too scared to talk to me#i was wearing the same 3 black hoodies every day and used to have a keychain with enough charms that could probably be a weapon if needed#i was a LOSER just TALK TO MEEEE#i'm not gonna act like i was nearly as outgoing as papyrus bc i kept to myself a lot especially in my senior year#and that's because papyrus did not cure 12 years of social anxiety/isolation. but at least he helped me be less emo about it yknow#for a while i actually thought The Loneliness didnt effect me as bad as it did him but tbh i was just repressing that shit lmao#man when the 10 year undertale anniversary comes around we're all gonna be destroyed huh. it will definitely kill me#anyway thank u toby fox for showing 11y/o me that things could work out if i just didnt give up. also make papyus the knight pls ok byeee#oh edit one more thing i havent quiiite psychoanalyzed myself or her enough for me to be certain of this yet but#im pretty sure this is also why i am very drawn to susie in deltarune. lonely skeleton but a blunt teenage girl instead like okayyyy
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shikai-the-storyteller · 2 years ago
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AWH... I'm skipping through Roier's QSMP Day 1 VOD because I'm looking for a specific thing, and I just noticed that when Jaiden stands in front of the group to do her introduction and her mic isn't working, Mariana laughs (not in a mean way, I laughed too) and Roier immediately smacks him and tells him off for laughing.
[Timestamp ~36m 50s, volume warning for Quackity's awful mic]
It's such a little thing, but I think it's really sweet in retrospect, especially considering how Roier and Jaiden have become such good friends in recent weeks :')
#i talk#qsmp talk#legitimately though I frickin adore Roier and Jaiden's friendship IT'S SO SWEET THEY'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS...#Jaiden was so nervous the first few days of QSMP and she talked about how she was too anxious to talk to people she didn't know#So this Egg event really helped her (and a lot of other people too)#It gave everyone a chance to make friends / bonds with people they might not have interacted with as much otherwise#it's just really sweet#I've got a special place in my heart for Jaiden I like her a lot#I used to watch her animations a bunch because my little cousin loves her#then I just kinda stopped because I don't watch Youtube creators much and my memory is awful#But QSMP made me start watching her again#and I found out all the stuff she's had to go through and I watched her videos where she talks about more serious stuff / her personal life#and like not to sound parasocial or whatever but my ''protective parental instinct'' went nuts after hearing all that#she's been through the wringer but it seems like she's doing a lot better#she's really funny and cool#but social anxiety is still a nightmare#I'm really glad she got Roier as her Egg partner -- he's so friendly and nice I think it really helped her relax a lot#and she's actually learning more Spanish despite saying she had 0 Spanish knowledge whatsoever when joining the server!!!#Idk man I'm just really proud of everything everyone's been doing on the server#and I'm really proud of Quackity for bringing people together like this. It's amazing#I love him so much and I'm so grateful this server exists.#First and Best Multilingual server baby!!!#Anyways I forgot how bad Quackity's mic sucked from literally everyone else's perspectives on Day 1 LMFAO#Roier specifically says ''Don't laugh!'' and ''Give [her] a pass!'' (for the mute issue)#alright I added a clip I can't not put a clip for this
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necrotic-nephilim · 4 months ago
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thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!
rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.
favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple
last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms
currently reading:
Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.
Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good
i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).
currently watching:
The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot
i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it
i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying
idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.
currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn
coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea
hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.
current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.
i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.
i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss
@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!
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spaghett-onaplate · 6 months ago
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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anaalnathrakhs · 6 months ago
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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catboy-a-day · 2 months ago
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Catboys 244, 245, 246
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kindaasrikal · 18 days ago
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I’m so terrified of people that sometimes i stare at their socials and think ‘i should talk to them’ and then just don’t and then realise I’m a lost cause and i go back to drawing depressingly
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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