#so of course its gonna be written about
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for now, death in fiction is a Sore Spot for me
far worse if the dead or dying person is a mother
do you have any idea how common death is in fiction??
#i get these twinges in my chest. like at least#and of course its common. because its this incredibly common but tragic thing that every living being has to deal with#so of course its gonna be written about#and be in a bagillion of our stories#also mentions of or stories about cancer? aw fuck no#gonna be a while before i can rewatch LOST i can tell ya that#1. my mum fucking adored LOST. she used to dream about the island. she'd make herself do it to relax herself#and 2. cancer is a Thing in lost like. three times#rose's story would just fill me with resentment#im not kidding. recently i had this bad day where star trek (of all things!) made me feel angry and resentful#because cancer is curable in trek. and i just like. hated the world i live in. it was fucked up
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Stampede aka another episode of luffy turning haters into dick riders just with his kind and big heart
#i might understand all the robin law fanfare... its been 26 minutes of stampede......#frobin reigns supreme imo still.....#VICEADMIRAL MOMONGA TOCAME LA PORONGA??? HELLO#THE LOG POSE TO LAUGH TALE???? and hancock arrived ❤️❤️#usopp saving luffh omg.....#blonde buggy..... why are we doing this to out beautiful women...#fujitora is on his own frequency... here you go a meteorite.. whatever happens to all of you and our troops happens goodbye#mihawk intervened bc zoro couldn't do it omg.... nami keep watch he is going to end it all tonight jesus#also persona following mihaw for a second movie ajdjaks.... i love them together honestly#brosalino is the kuma guy's uncle????? nepotism......#calling this guy the heir of the demon.... taking blame off ace akdjsksn.... you know whats funny in movies garp is very like thoughtful and#comprehensive of others peoples issues and then you get to how he raised luffy and like.... wouldn't that have been good there....#and with ace too lmao.... i mean he didnt have abandonment issues but just wait and see to a 10yo asking if he is worthy of living idk...#i get the meaning of it and what he meant but we all know ace didnt get that at the time until luffy got there#usopp.... see how when oda writes the movies it feels different.... first steong world with namo and now stampede with usopp...#the relationship moments really hit.. i was gonna comment about zoro and the cursed sword but that was just focusing on him#well this one wasnt written by oda but supervised i will take it....#hina taking the kids aldjakskal...... smoker and hina best straight ship behind frobin imo..... baby 5 x sai number 3 spot#sabo....... actually thank you bc smoker thinks he can take anybody#hancock and buggy AJSJAKAKLQQ omg usopp dont cry....... luffy will KILL that guy for making usopp feel like that lmao YEAAAH!!!!!#law smoker sabo the luffy lover squad..... each in their own way lmao#hancock its been so long how are you <3 omg law what are you doing here <3 my brother sabo hello.#crocodile made the plan of course.... luffy lover member too#usopps bullets omg....#sanji and zoro against lucci omg..... YEAAAHHHH#wait a second straw hat crew costume by uniqlo design team??? THE DRIP!!!#luffy seeing ace beside luffy with the fire goodbye.... he is EVERYWHERE#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.
He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!
Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.
I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.
#mha#my hero academia#endevour#mha dabi#mha endeavor#im sure im gonna get some flack for this because for some reason lots of people think that he should be redeemed but no???#im sorry guys i like villain redemption arcs as much as the next person and i understand being confused over#why so many people forgive other villains vs endeavor#but theres something about being in a place of power and influence and using that to harm and neglect your family and having EVERYONE#EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD PRETTY MUCH JUST LOOK AWAY AND SAY OH ITS NOT MY FAMILY THATS HIS BUISNESS#BETTER NOT GET INVOLVED IT'LL SORT ITSELF OUT#that just doesnt sit right with me whatsoever#ive liked plenty of villains who do horrible things but i can still see their good side because they have their henchman or their own family#or that one person who they care for and will protect because thats their heart#im saying that even though endeavor FEELS BAD he really just didnt have a heart or care for anyone but himself until hmm#oh! after he became the number one hero#and after he got a scar that humbled him#theres a reddit post where the op talks about how people soften him and are willing to forgive him but i think thats coming from people who#very very thankfully no shade did jot have to deal with anyone like that irl in any way#OR people who are less into stories and allegories again no shade and take characters at a more surface level#its just another read on the character which of course is obviously fine but please please understand why people will never forgive him#mha spoilers#its like especially hard to not hate him when you find out that dabi had his mothers power all along#meaning he WAS that perfect child that endeavor had been looking for but he cast him aside too soon to even let that power bloom early on#god i hate Endeavor so much#love the way hes written story and character wise like he IS really well written#but fuck him all the same lol
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How do I say, without coming across as a jaded miserable little bitch who likes raining on everybody's parade, that the PJO Disney plus adaption is nostalgia bait, in the same way that their live action remakes are
#it'll probably be good#it sounds like its gonna be a pretty faithful adaption#im not denying that#but#20-30 something year old you ARE being pandered to by the Walt Disney Corporation#its fine to be excited for it. just so long as we are all aware of whats happening#also we gotta stop acting like mr riordan is some underdog in this situation#hes written one of the most successful teen lit series of all time#and in disney's current quirky girl phase of grasping hold of anything that already has a following#of COURSE they snatched this shit up#''Percy Jackson. A Disneyplus original.''#do you have any idea just how much theyre salivating to have their name attached to this series?#(tbf the books were owned by disney too. but a streaming service makes their link to the franchise all the more evident)#anyway. maybe i sometimes get a little bitter when i think about all the original projects in production that were abruptly cancelled#usually because of the current fear to take risks and put something new into the world#and then i remember adaptions like are going ahead#there is no risk associated the pjo series. the first few books are relatively squeaky clean for a teenage audience#this is a comfortable direction for them to go in#''but but but theres gay people in it'' hush. disney is not afraid of captilizing on the gay experience#also im pretty sure the gay people dont show up until like. 8 books in#thats 8 seasons#can you imagine#''guys we need to keep giving this show our support so we can eventually get solanjello (or whatever its called)''#ooooh theyre quite evil. very interesting#even tho like. dont worry you'll get your gay people eventually. you'll get all your book adaptions. you'll get all those seasons.#this franchise is disneys new pet#you can smell it#the hype. the cast announcements. the promotion#LIN MANUEL MIRANDA???#theyre going to squeeze every last drop of engagement they can get out of it
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life is great when you're not a HUGE bitch that is mad with life and love and whimsy and you can simply enjoy different love stories without comparing them
#just. incredible really#im the biggest kanthony girlie#love them to death#LOVE enemies to lovers trope#my favorite forever#top 1 type of read tbh#not much a friends to lovers reader tbh#HOWEVER#!!#polin#is just. so beautiful.#so so so incredibly written#bc ITS BEEN THEM. SINCE SEASON ONE.#it doesnt feel rushed bc its been happening since the very first season.#we been seeing since the very first episode#and thats how it should be#and its so beautiful and magical#precisely bc its not like a thunderbolt from the sky#kanthony was also a slow burn. just a different type. and shorter. but just as incredible.#theres literally#no. fucking. reason.#for the amount of bitchy comments about polin.#its friends to lover. OF COURSE its not gonna be the fucking same as last season.#its a different trope plot and characters all together#and isnt that the whole fucking point of this goddamn series?#showcasing different ways of loving?#anyways. just saw waaay too many comments on instagram hating a season that aint even done yet lol stop comparing to last season#touch some grass ffs. honestly. and its some of these comments are about fran and john too like? are you insane? fr?#if friends to lovers isnt your cup of tea thats fine but theres no fucking reason to be commenting mean ass things about polin or the ACTORS#like fuck off honestly lol
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im so tired of literally everything being a reboot or a remake or revival or sequel or whatever nowadays. i dont always hate that sort of thing i can name some adaptations and reboots and stuff that i like but so many of these things arent even GOOD adaptations and the companies making them either wont make anything else or wont bother to promote any of their original shows or movies and to top it all off so many original and unique things get cancelled while the endless pool of disney live action remakes and shitty adaptations continues to grow. i cannot do this anymore velma was the final straw it looks so bad
#the fact that the owl house got a shortened final season while velma is allowed to exist makes me want to explode people with my mind#velma just looks really bad in general tbh regardless of whether or not its connected to scooby doo#but part of what makes it so bad is that it clearly wasnt written with the scooby doo characters in mind#they just put them there because theyre popular and people will watch the show for them#or maybe that wasnt their intention. but from the clips ive seen it certainly feels like it was#also people are gonna kill me for this one but. i feel similarly about wednesday.#it feels like they just wrote a show completely separate from the addams family and slapped wednesday addams onto it so ppl would watch it#and like i understand and am ok with the fact that reboots and adaptations will sometimes have different takes on the characters#im Literally a sonic fan. who likes the games and the comics and the movies and the shows. of course i know that.#but. idk. something about the shows i just mentioned#doesnt feel like a reimagining of an existing thing or an adaptation that changes a few things#it feels like something that wasnt even written with those characters in mind they were just put in there for money reasons#also the comment about original things getting cancelled isnt about insidej ob or whatver its called idk anything about that show#just felt the need to clarify since. a lot of people are mad about that rn and i thought people might asssume i was talking about that
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meihua "snitched on myself so hard as i said 'i could never have feelings for you' to a man i just stabbed because by no means did he believe you did love him back and also not even five minutes later you turned around and changed your mind about this decision and i don't think it's necessarily occurred to either of us how hard i just outed myself' shisan
#i could never be in love with you btw im gonna follow you through the forest and find you to protect you and build a campfire next to you#and ask you to take your clothes off so i can bandage your wounds when its the both of us alone next to a campfire#I know she was saying that more to herself than him#and it was supposed to be her drilling that into her own head in the end#but also like#damn you could've said that after you walked away or after he died#lucky she's in love with a dumbass who never comprehended that bit#you may think “but bonnie it was his chest that was injured of course he neded to take his clothes off he wears 3 layers of clothes”#THEY'RE STILL MADLY IN LOVE#THEY'RE STILL AWKWARD AND GAY ABOUT IT NOBODY FIGHT ME ON THIS#THIS WOMAN BLUSHED TOUCHING HIS ARM AND YOU WANT ME TO THINK THAT SCENE HAD ZERO TENSION#HE ALSO BLUSHED WHEN SHE LIGHTLY TOUCHED HIS FUCKING ARM BTW#YOU WANT ME TO THINK THESE TWO TOUCH STARVED MADLY IN LOVE DUMBFUCKS DIDNT NEARLY EXPLODE#I'D KILL SOMEBODY TO SEE THAT SCENE#I'D DO ANYTHING ON THIS EARTH TO WITNESS THAT. WHY'D IT HAVE TO NOT BE SHOWN IN THE EPISODE#i would sleep with the director if it meant getting this scene#i would#guys i ahve such brainrot abotu this#and brainrot about this alot#i praise this show a lot for its lack of fan service and how well these two are written#and therefore this is such a perfect raw kinda tense moment I NEED IT I PHYSICALLY NEED IT#it's not fanservice but i am a afan and i am being serviced#ok im gonna shut up#scissor seven#wu liuqi#thirteen#seven
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You know, I've never been a fanfic person, and so far I've pretty much only read short one shots, I think I've read only one fic with many chapters and a bigger plot? But a few days ago I read a few Road 96 fics I bookmarked in the last few weeks, and turns out!! Two of them are unfinished. One lacks only the final chapter, and that one wasn't as interesting to me so I don't feel bad for not being able to finish it, but the other I got super invested in before I noticed it has only three chapters out of who knows how many. I understand now the hell of finding the perfect fic and having to wait for more. Ough
#and of course all of those were jarod related because obviously they would be#the shorter unfinished one was good and if it ever gets finished i will still read it#but it was mostly about a kink i dont have so like#it was good because it was well written and had some neat moments but overall im just not the target audience#but the other one. man#its definitely gonna be p long#like the three chapters barely started the plot but hooked me so bad#fortunately the last update was like a few weeks ago iirc so it doesnt seem to be abandoned#but like man the writing style was so fucking good#and based on the tags its gonna be like. mostly right up my alley#im not saying any titles tho#on one hand i wish i could recommend them but on the other. i am not saying what did i read#what happens on ao3 stays on ao3 you know what I mean#oh but i also read a sfw one that was p short and really good#the author sent me it here in dms#i can recommend that one with no hesitation#blood stained her hands#by luxedeluxe#but yeah im in hell now because i really want to continue reading the long one but. ougf#oh and btw the one long fic i mentioned that ive read in the past was flowerfell#like the undertale au where everyone is like red and evil and frisk grows flowers on them when they die#i dont know if there are multiple fics from that au but it was years ago so it was the og i think#really good#and i think the first fic ive ever read lmao#bee buzz
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#beyond everything else that h///y p////r game looks boring as hell#like yall are really hemming and hawing over not playing the antisemtic game written by a transphobe#and it looks generic as hell#the only appeal is 'you get to explore h*g//w*rts' which#i got that back in like 2007 with a couple tie ins#including a lego one which let you build the magic wizardy stuff and watch as they did magic wizardy stuff#this of course was back before jowling kowling was an out and out transphobe and also i was in middle school#but yeah that new game sure looks okay#like yep gonna plop down $70 whole dollars (which is fucked in its own right but thats a games industry thing)#to play this okay looking game that directly supports transphobia in the uk and is antisemtic besides#i am staking my moral worth on this#and do not talk to me about alternatives like piracy or buying second hand- i do not care#i honestly truly do not care if you are paid to play the game#its your time#just again outside of the ~controversy~ it looks so generic#and do not come into my inbox to explain to me- a nonbinary person who has a lot of family memory tied in this franchise- why you feel like#it should be okay for you to play it#trust me- this franchise is a source of pain for me in more ways than one#do not look to me for absolution#honestly i may filter the tags for it b/c im sick of hearing about it even being decried by allies#most of whom seem more invested in dunking on h///r p////r fans than actually helping trans people#heavily censored tag rant b/c lord knows i dont have the patience to deal with this hornets nest
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god i am not doing well
#its hard for me to even type this shit out because it scares me to acknowledge it#ive written a lot and deleted it over and over because it makes it too real#but to be honest i cant imagine a future for myself#its not like i WANT to die im too scared for that but im also too scared to do any real living so whats the point#im not gonna do anything. of course im not gonna do anything#i just wish i could give shit about myself in a way other than just terror at the thought of dying#i know im capable of it ive had great times andmade great progress in the last few years. i know i have#i cant remember it exacly now but i know ive felt better#but ive lost a lot of progress i feel like#and i knowwww i know its not linear like that its not REALLY like im 14 again but it feels like it#my meds havent fully kicked in yet. once they do it will get easier#it has to
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Alright I bit on their source. The source?
Google Niel Gaiman Israel
So I did that. The first thing I got is a Twitter post of his that says:
"@tetmetran123 I think Israel has the right to exist. I think Palestine needs to be a country, or Palestinians need full Israeli Citizenship."
I do not agree with this as a whole but all I see him saying is that there is an important need for an Ethnic Jewish homeland based on the horrors Jewish people have experienced since forever. Which is correct.
He is also saying what they're doing to Palestine is WRONG by the pure virtue of saying it should be a country. He's proposing ideas for how Palestinians can be protected in the conflict. I do not think he is correct in his proposal, but that doesn't make him a Zionist.
He didn't say "Yay go Israel! Bad Palestine!" He said, "There is a need for a cultural and ethnic Jewish homeland, but what is happening to Palestine is not how we get there." I've heard some people claim the UN won't get involved because Palestine isn't a "recognized country". I don't know how true that is but I've seen some people talking about it.
Overall I don't think he's a Zionist. Zionists are saying full pelt that Palestinians must be purged from the land making an ethnic cleansing at best and a genocide at worst. His rhetoric is not lining up with the zionists defense of Israel.
Neil Gaiman is a Zionist, btw.
#my opinion at least#of course you have to read into a tweet a bit and infer intention and meaning#also since theyre experiencing it for the love of god don't harass the OP#it really isnt worth it for 1#it solves nothing for 2#neil gaiman isnt gonna care about you defending him for 3#and for 4 its just shitty to do. even if they are wrong its just not cool to jump dowm throats and send hate mail#especially with the anon being turned off slowing it down#this is a complex as fuck issue for a LOT of reasons.#not as much so since Isreal started just ethnic cleansing Palestine#but it is still a complex issue that isnt gonna get summed up in a tweet#it just isnt youre always gonna be reading into the intent of the tweet#because it could have an entire course and a half on it#entire doctoral theses have been written about it for both sides#a 2015 tweet from Niel isnt the ultimate end all opinion of his stance on zionism#jesus christ
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Something that pops up in my notes from time to time is folks thinking I'm being excessively kind in my criticisms of Dungeons & Dragons, and I'm going to spin this off into a separate thread to address that without putting anyone on the spot.
First, if your own critique of Dungeons & Dragons is rooted in the idea that it's the Worst Game Ever, that speaks more to the limits of your experience than it does to anything else. Dungeons & Dragons in any of its iterations is far from the worst the tabletop roleplaying hobby has to offer – like, you have no fucking idea!
Second, I tend to be even-handed in my discussion of D&D's rules because, fundamentally, the rules are not the problem – or, at least, not the principal cause of the problem.
In many ways, the indie RPG sphere has never escaped the spectre of Ron Edwards, sternly pronouncing that the mechanical process of playing traditional RPGs causes actual, physical brain damage, and that this brain damage is responsible for the bad behaviour we often observe at the table. We don't say it that way anymore, but on some level a lot of us indie RPG designers still kind of believe it.
This is understandable. As game designers, we're naturally inclined to think of problems at the table as game design problems. When we see a problematic culture of play, our impulse is to frame it as something which emerges from the text of the game, and which can therefore be mitigated by repairing the text of the game.
Confronted with the obvious toxicity of certain facets of D&D's culture of play, we go combing through its text, looking for something – some formalism, some structure, some piece of rules technology – which we can point to and say: "this is it; this is where the brain-worms live."
The trouble is, this is not in fact where the brain-worms live. Certainly, the text of a game, particularly a very popular one, can have some influence on the game's surrounding culture of play, but that text is in turn a reflection of the culture of play in which it was written. The Player's Handbook isn't an SCP object, spewing infectious infohazards everywhere when you crack open the cover – hell, I'd go so far as to say that many of the problems of D&D's culture of play operate in spite of the game's text, not because of it!
Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't see any contradiction between being the sort of pretentious knob who writes one-page indie RPGs about gay catgirls talking about their feelings (which I am), and speaking favourably about this or that piece of rules tech from whatever flavour of Dungeons & Dragons is in favour this week (which I do), because I recognise that you can't game-design your way out of a problem you didn't game-design your way into.
The fact that one of the biggest problems facing the tabletop roleplaying hobby is something that can't be repaired by fucking around with dice-rolling procedures is a bitter pill to swallow for a lot of indie game designers, and I won't say I wasn't resistant to it myself, but it's something that's both useful and necessary to accept.
(None of this means that the text of Dungeons & Dragons in any of its incarnations is beyond criticism on other grounds, of course, and I've never been shy about highlighting those criticisms where they're warranted. The only way you're gonna arrive at the conclusion that I'm some sort of D&D apologist is if you're starting from the presumption that The Real Problem Is The Rules.)
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truth is I was expecting aot 4 to be... questionable if only because at some point I stopped seeing aot yuri from the people I followed. there used to be colossal potential so the only explanation was that something had gone very wrong
#i know i know there was hanji x pieck lately#but the possibilities really were endless. its kind of insane actually the amount of women who could fuck each other in this story#im not gonna lie a huge reason why id watched season 1 back when it came out was the character design of its female characters#that is it was completely neutral. imagine my surprise when i found out there were many and they acted normally and also interacted somewha#so of course i and many others donned our yuri goggles. god the amount of mikasannie bdsm............#aot also has an entire ARC dedicated to yumikuri which turned out to be a formative ship for me and so is permanently#i used to think about them to the notes of demons by imagine dragons. yeah i was 15.#point is yumikuri suffered the fate of any wlw ship from the 90s/early 00s - and in that is kinda still iconic#while most of the other characters are like. badly written war criminals#im sure the fandom also took a turn#attack on titan
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looking at the last reblog and sighing
#mit speaks#honestly its kind of funny seeing in on tumblr usa-centric sites out of everything#but yup the situation in the world sucks. not news for anybody in the slightest and certainly not news for me#especially considering the state of everythibg else in the country and how it was my whole life#but still. my friend who moved away from here to spain sent me screenshots of some condensed articles#of whats going on with the words What the fuck its so fucked up#while i was looking at this hapoening and people ringing the bells and trying their damndest to protest at least with written forms#it feels like its a logical effect to the everything going on since i didnt actually have any hope anythings gonna get better#but it still stings#its why i am very deeply in the closet irl and am pretty scared to ever come out. especially to my parents#i felt extremely bad and nervous when my friend told me her moms aware of me being kind of trans and that she told her sister too#thats how bad anxiety gets#amd its not like this country is anything close to.. caring about these issues#about 98% of people speaking the language i met online in my very limited social online window were pretty on the whole t-rf ride#so of course theyre gonna celebrate the laws. its not like the amount of people who care and do show themselves is very big compared to#everyone else. its kind of sad#its moreso of a vent guys im alright#love and peace ✌️
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Pity Party.
Synopsis - Carmy just wants to see you treated the way he thinks you deserve. He decides to take matters into his own hands.
Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Roommate Reader
Word Count - 3k
Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol mention. carmys filthy mouth.
Age Rating - 18+
Author's Note - hello hello hello!! i am back!! i had a wonderful vacation soaking up the sun, and i am feeling refreshed and ready to go. i have had so many ideas over the past few weeks, so i'm excited to get some of them written asap!! this was a fic that came to me randomly, as i was thinking about roommate!carmen and how much of a menace he'd be if you ever talked about other guys. this was written as a part of my carmen roommates collection. it doesn't follow on from Finders, Keepers or Sweet Dreams, but it does exist in the same universe - so you can decide if this takes place before or after!! as always, feel free to send me any ideas or thoughts or burning desires you have. so much love <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Series Masterlist. Masterlist. Inbox.
"You're back early."
Carmy had swung the door open, expecting to come home to an empty apartment. Instead, he's met with the sight of you, sitting on the couch, undoing the straps of your shoes.
"Fuckin' disaster," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.
He breathes out a chuckle at the stormy look on your face. Carmy thinks you're cutest when you're angry. He aches to smooth the crease between your brows with his thumb.
"That bad?" he asks, taking a seat next you and kicking off his sneakers.
"You wouldn't even believe."
He rises and makes his way to the kitchen, filling the tea kettle and placing it on the stove top. Grabbing two mugs, he casts a glance over his shoulder at you, frowning at your body language. You look defeated.
Carmy steeps two cups of tea, placing one of them carefully into your waiting hands. He resumes his seat on the sofa, pressing his thigh against yours and turning to face you.
"You wanna talk about it?"
You think for a moment before replying.
"You're gonna laugh at me."
His face instantly crumples, confusion written all over it.
"I'll never laugh at you. I'll laugh with you, sure. But never at you."
He nudges your shoulder with his, urging you to go on.
"Okay, fine. The actual date was pretty good. He took me to that Italian place downtown-"
"Dolce Vita? Did you get the truffle pasta I told you about?" Carmy interrupts you before you can continue.
"Yes, oh my God. It was incredible. Do you think you can recreate it sometime?"
"Fuck yeah. They're pretty secretive with their recipes, but I think I can figure it out. You can help me if you want - I'm gonna need a sous chef."
He pulls a reluctant laugh from you, the sound echoing off the ceramic of your mugs. You both know that being the sous chef involves you sitting on the counter drinking wine while Carmy does all the work.
"Of course. I'll always be your sous chef."
"I'll hold you to that."
You smile at him gently, a little taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.
"Anyway. The dinner went great. He seemed super interested in me, asked me questions, told me about his job, his hobbies, his dog. He was hot, and good to talk to. I thought I'd hit the jackpot."
"And then?"
"And then we went back to his apartment. And it all went to shit."
He chuckles, blue eyes glinting in the moonlight.
"Tell me more."
"You really want to hear about all of this?"
It's not like you and Carmy aren't close. You absolutely are. It's just that there's always been this unspoken connection between the two of you. A bubbling, fiery attraction that you both shut down repeatedly, screwing the lid on tight whenever it rears its head. So, you tend to avoid talking to Carmy about dating. You're scared you'll accidentally blurt out the truth - you compare every single date to him.
"Of course I do."
His answer is so genuine it makes you ache. You continue, hesitantly.
"Well... things got a little... heavy. He wasn't a bad kisser, I guess... he just wasn't... a good one? He kept biting my lip super hard and it kinda hurt. Then he pulled my clothes off like a high schooler, and he's on top of me, and I'm waiting for him to sort of... do... anything? And then he's finished. Like, completely done. And then he has the nerve to ask me if I finished."
Carmy's mouth has fallen open, shock etched across his face. After a long, heavy pause, he speaks.
"What the fuck?"
You look at him for moment, before bursting into contagious laughter. He joins you, both of you with your heads thrown back, giggles reverberating around the lowlit room.
"I mean, seriously," he pants, still laughing. "What the fuck?"
"I didn't even answer him. I just put my clothes on, grabbed my bag and left without saying a word."
Every time you try to stifle your laughter, a giggle escapes. The situation wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, it's hilarious.
All of a sudden, you both go silent. You're deep in thought, reflecting on the seemingly never ending stream of bad dates that you've endured. Carmy is watching you intently, ocean blue eyes glued to your face.
"Fuck," you breathe. "This is kinda pathetic."
Carmy inhales deeply, and turns his body so it's facing yours on the couch.
"The way I see it," he begins, "you have two options."
You quirk a brow in confusion and stay quiet, waiting for him to explain.
"You can sit here feeling sorry for yourself, or, you can let me fuck you the way you deserve."
Your mouth falls open in shock at the exact same moment your brain seems to shut down. You can't think. You can't process his words. All you can focus on is the way he's staring at you. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. A shiver runs down your spine, and you have to remind yourself to breathe.
"Wh-... what?" you choke out.
"You heard me, honey. You can wallow in your little pity party, or you can let me show you what it's like to be with someone who can actually make you come. Your choice."
His voice has dropped an octave lower than usual, the tone warm and honeyed. He's still staring at you, blue gaze unrelenting.
"Is this gonna fuck everything up between us?" you whisper hesitantly.
Carmy reaches out and places a gentle hand on your cheek, thumb stroking careful circles into your skin.
"I don't think anything can fuck up what we have," he murmurs. "You're the only thing in my life that makes sense."
His confession seems to sober you up, the honesty in his words snapping you back to your senses.
"Okay."
He almost does a double take at the sureness in your voice.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Put your money where your mouth is, Carmen."
"There she is," he chuckles. "You scared me when you went quiet for a second there."
"Well, if what you say is true, you're not gonna be able to shut me up for the night."
He laughs darkly, and slides closer to you slightly.
"Oh, honey. You're gonna wish you hadn't said that."
He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, tracing the journey of your neck with his fingertips. He rests his hand lightly at the base of your throat, the heavy weight of it making you pant.
"If there's any point where you don't like something, or you want me to slow down, just say so. Okay?"
You nod your head, entranced by the sudden dominance he's displaying. You've never seen this side of him before. You can't believe he's been hiding it this whole time.
"Words, pretty. Need to hear you say it."
"Yes. I understand. I'll tell you, I promise."
He doesn't say anything in reply, just smirks. He lets you sit in the silence for a moment too long, the anticipation slowly killing you.
"Please, Carmen," you breathe. "Please."
"Fuck," he groans, shuffling closer to you. "You sound so pretty when you beg."
Carmy leans in and kisses your cheek gently, testing the waters. He presses a kiss to your other cheek, and pulls back to watch for your reaction. When he's happy, he tilts forward and leaves a careful kiss on your chin, then your forehead, then both of your closed eyes, before kissing you on the side of your mouth. His closeness makes you whine, desperate for him to give you what you want.
Finally, he connects his lips to yours, starting off slow and tender. When you tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and try to pull him even closer, his resolve snaps. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You clamber over him and climb into his lap, straddling his hips and pressing yourself into his body.
Carmy can't decide where to put his hands. He's grabbing at your waist, running his fingers up your back, pulling you into him by your ass. You're both groaning into each others mouths, enraptured by the other person and the all consuming way they kiss.
"Can I take this off?" he asks lowly, pulling at the hem of your dress.
Instead of answering, you pull it over your head, throwing it onto the floor in front of you.
"Fuck," he murmurs. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
His hands are roaming all of your exposed skin, as if he can't get enough. He's terrified he won't ever get to see you like this again, so he's not going to waste a second.
You grind your hips down into his, eliciting a groan from the both of you. His hands tighten their grip on your waist, as he leans up to press open mouthed kisses to your jaw. Your fingers fly to the hem of his t shirt, pulling it off swiftly. You manage to shove his jeans down and off, before attempting to pull off his underwear. Carmy stops you in your tracks.
"Nuh uh," he tuts. "This is about you. Not me."
He pulls you off his lap gently and shuffles so his back is resting against the couch cushions. He spreads his legs wide, and gestures for you to sit between them. When you don't move, he looks at you carefully.
"Give me a color, pretty girl."
You take a deep breath, and smile at him softly.
"Green, Carmen. Promise."
You manoeuvre sideways, so you can place yourself with your back to his chest. He wraps his arms around you for a moment and holds you tightly, as if he's scared you'll disappear any second. You relax into his embrace, all the tension leaving your body. You have nothing to worry about. It's just you and Carmen, in the place you call home.
You drop your head back into Carmy's shoulder, and allow yourself to get lost in the feeling of his hands on your skin. He's begun tracing patterns down your arms, your sides, your stomach, until he reaches your underwear. He plays with the band, dipping his finger underneath in a feather light touch. Goose bumps rise across your body and you shiver, practically vibrating with need.
"Carmen," you whisper. "Don't tease."
"But that's half the fun," he murmurs into your ear, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
You can picture it perfectly, too. The way his eyes crinkle, the way his mouth curves, the way he bites his lip to stifle it. The image in your mind makes you melt into him further. You want to be as close to him as you physically can be. You'd completely disappear into him if you could.
He brings you back to reality by cupping you over your underwear, groaning when he feels the saturated material.
"Oh, pretty girl. Is this all for me? Fuck."
Suddenly, his game of teasing has lost all its fun. Carmy twists his fingers into your underwear and pulls them off in one swift movement, throwing them in the general direction of your dress on the floor. He places a hand on each of your thighs and spreads them apart, hooking them over his legs.
Carmy starts off slow, careful. He caresses over your skin, gentle and almost apprehensive. When he gets to your core, he swipes a finger through, testing the waters. When you buck your hips into his hand, he knows you're both on the same page.
"Just relax, okay? Gonna make you feel good."
His deep, smooth, whiskey like voice is doing nothing to help the heat bubbling in your stomach. You only whine in response, wiggling your hips to urge him to keep going.
Carmy throws one arm around your stomach, keeping you plastered to his body. You can feel him hot and hard against your back, and you so desperately want to feel him that your mouth is watering. You grind back into him, and he reads your mind.
"Not yet," he whispers. "This is about you, remember? Need to show you what you've been missing."
With that, he circles your clit with two fingers, slowly but surely. He revels in the noises you elicit. They're making him dizzy, disorientated. He never thought he'd be the one to pull a sound like that from you. He's quite convinced he's dreaming.
"Let me hear you. Don't hold back on me, okay?"
You nod your head frantically, willing to give him whatever he asks if you get what you want.
Carmy slips a finger into you slowly, moaning under his breath at your warmth. When he thinks you're ready, he adds a second finger, and sets a steady rhythm, trying to figure out what you like.
After he's set his pace, he starts to curl his fingers on the up stroke, grinning to himself when he finds the spot.
"Yeah? Right there? That's it, isn't it?"
You're nodding and shaking and pawing at his forearms, trying to tether yourself to reality in any way you can. You think you might be floating, on cloud 9, in some sort of euphoric trance. You can't believe no one's ever made you feel like this before. You're convinced no one ever will again.
Carmy quickens his pace and basks in the glory of your moans. He thinks this might be the most beautiful you've ever looked, spread out completely for him. Every inch of your skin is touching his, and it makes his heart skip a beat for a second.
He presses a kiss into your hair and keeps his mouth there, murmuring honeyed praises into your ear.
"Doin' so good for me."
"You got it, honey, that's it."
"Atta girl. Keep going. Almost there."
"You look so fuckin' pretty like this. Fuck. Gonna be thinking about this forever."
"I'll ruin you, baby. Nothing's ever gonna compare to this, to what we have."
All you can do is moan in response, his filthy words pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You're almost there, but something is stopping you. You whine in frustration, tears welling in your eyes. Carmy feels the tension suddenly grasp your muscles, and leans down to mutter to you softly.
"What is it, sweet girl? What do you need? Just tell me. Anything, and I'll give it to you."
You're not sure how much you trust your voice right now, so you decide to show him instead. You take the hand that he's using to hold you to him and move it up your body until it's resting against your throat. You tighten your fingers around his, and moan in response to the pressure.
"Oh, baby," he coos. "Filthy fuckin' girl. Here I thought you were so innocent, and this whole time you wanted to be choked like a whore?"
The way he degrades you so lovingly makes you mewl. You'd never ever trust anyone else to speak to you this way in such an intimate moment - but with Carmen, there's no hesitation. You know he's just telling you what you need to hear in the heat of the moment. And you love him for it.
"Fuck, Carmen," you manage to choke out. "Keep going. Don't stop, please."
"I'll do anything you want if you keep saying my name like that," he whispers.
"Carmen," you moan in response. "Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy."
You're chanting his name like a prayer. He's rutting into your back, hips grinding and circling in time with his fingers that are maintaining their steady rhythm. His fingers tighten around your throat as he crooks his digits just right, and the result is a devastating moan from you that Carmy wishes to have on repeat for the rest of his life.
"So close," you whisper hoarsely. "Harder."
Carmy uses his thumb to circle your clit with one hand, other hand pulling you by your neck back into him tightly. He grinds his hips dirtily into you, and the feeling of him so silky and warm against you is what sends you over the edge. The corners of your vision go white as you arch into him, head thrown backwards into his chest. The sounds you're making are so melodic, so borderline angelic that Carmy almost cries. Heaven, he thinks. This is salvation.
Carmy finishes with you, climaxing onto the soft skin of your back. You both relax simultaneously, chests heaving and panting. He removes his fingers gently and wraps both arms around you, pulling you into him tightly despite the mess. He reaches to brush the hair out of your face, and the gesture is so tender it makes your lip quiver.
"Thank you," you whisper after what feels like hours of comfortable silence.
"Sorry I called you a whore," he murmurs back.
You let out a surprised laugh, vibrating with amusement in his arms.
"I know you didn't mean it."
"I mean I did give you the best orgasm of your life, so... call it even?"
"You're forgiven," you chuckle. "Completely forgiven."
You trace gentle patterns over his forearms with your fingertips, following the black ink of his tattoos. He sighs in contentment and places a kiss into your hair, relaxing further into the couch.
You sit together like that for a while, neither of you too concerned with the time. It's not often you see Carmy so relaxed, so serene. You're enjoying it for as long as you can.
"We should clean up," he says quietly, eventually. "Sorry about the mess."
"It's okay. Worth it," you tease, pinching his thigh. He pinches your side in retaliation, which makes you jump.
"Come on, trouble."
He stands from the couch, never letting go of the grip he has on you. You have no choice but to stand with him, yelping as he half carries you through the apartment towards the shower.
The sounds of both of your laughter bounce off of the abandoned mugs of tea still sat on the coffee table, melodic and joyous. The moonlight seeps through the windows, illuminating the beginning of something special in the living room of your shared apartment.
#carmen berzatto smut#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto x reader smut#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto imagine#carmy berzatto#carmy x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto smut#roommate!carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto imagine#carmy berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto x reader smut#the bear x reader#roommate!carmen berzatto x reader#the bear fanfic#jeremy allen white#the bear smut#the bear imagine#roommate!carmy berzatto#roommate!carmen berzatto smut#roommate carmen berzatto#the bear fanfiction#the bear
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Don’t Prove I’m Right - [Part 4]
♥ prev
♥ series masterlist | main masterlist
♥ pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
♥ series synopsis: you didn't think twice about the dj you hooked up with until you found out you were pregnant. turns out the man wasn't just some dj but a famous formula 1 driver.
♥ chapter synopsis: after his reckless decisions, lando attempts to make it up to you. it took some convincing from oscar but you eventually gave in and had a conversation with him.
♥ smau + written - fc: girls on pinterest - none of the pictures are mine
♥ warnings: swearing !!!
♥ a/n: its been MONTHS since the last chapter I am so sorry lovelies!
liked by logansargeant, lilyzneimer, lilymhe, and 120,538 more
yourusername ever since @/logansargeant and @/oscarpiastri got camila these plushies she’s been obsessed with them
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yourbestfriend please don’t tell me the deer is being replaced 😔
yourusername camila would never
lilyzneimer shes just too cute to not spoil
user1 haven’t seen lando in any of her posts recently 😕
user3 they did JUST get back to Monaco so I wouldn't be worried
user6 they're not dating either so I don't see why he would be
user4 we need a godfather reveal
logansargeant it’s me
oscarpiastri its me
carlossainz55 … it’s probably not me 😕
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It had been a couple of days since your last conversation with Lando and a knock on your door drew your attention away from your phone.
A giant box was sitting on the doorstep alone with no sender information. You hesitantly brought it into the living room and grabbed a pocket knife to cut through the clear strip of tape. The box quickly burst open from the pressure of the deeply packed objects—about a dozen jellycats and an apology note placed on top.
It was clear to you that this package was from Lando, and it was a very sweet gesture. He’d clearly seen the post you made the previous day and was trying his best to make up for his mistakes. You sighed and folded the note up, setting it on your couch. You pulled out a soft pink bunny from the box causing Camila to squeal and hold her arms open.
You still hadn’t checked your texts from Lando, but Oscar was right. You couldn’t ignore him forever. Lily offered to take you out for the night in order to clear your head. You were extremely grateful for Lily’s support and generosity ever since you met her. She had truly become one of your best friends throughout this experience.
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liked by lilymhe, carmenmundt,, and 102,843 more 102,473 more
yourusername girls night
tagged; @/lilyzneimer
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lilyzneimer <3
user1 we love a self care queen
user2 she’s so pretty
alexandrasaintmleux we should all hang out together <3
francisca.cgomes i second that
yourusername i’m so there
user7 i love that the wags include her 🥹
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You sat next to Lily with a glass of white wine in your hand, conflicted. Of course you were. Like Oscar said, you had to confront him at some point, but it was going to take a lot for you to trust Lando again. You pulled your phone out of your purse.
You got the response pretty much immediately.
You sighed and turned to Lily, "I'm gonna go talk to Lando."
"Good luck," she said with a smile, and took another sip of her drink.
You picked Camila up off the couch and bundled her up in a small yellow blanket.
-
You were at his apartment in about twenty minutes. You knocked hesitantly, tapping your nails on the case of your phone and jangling your keys in attempt to reduce your anxiety. Lando opened the door in silence, letting you into the room. He sat back down on his couch and you followed, cradling your daughter in your arms and choosing to stand up as you spoke.
“Listen Y/n, I know what I did was-“
"I'm not going to take your child away from you,” you stated, cutting him off. “You said you want to be in her life, but you have to keep that promise."
He nodded and ran his hands across his face. You wanted to get straight to the point with no excuses. You had heard all of his apologies already.
"Lily talked to Kmag and found her a babysitter, so we're good on that end. But, you still have to earn back my trust to be alone with her and if anything like this happens again I won't be nice."
He looked back up at you, “It won’t ever happen again, I swear. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
”I agree.”
There was some awkward silence as you gently sat on the arm rest of the couch.
You looked down at your daughter, “She may not fully get it yet, but you’re her dad and she loves you,” you locked eyes with Lando again. “You chose to raise her with me, so you need to take responsibility.”
He nodded, “I understand.”
"Good," you responded, standing back up and stepping towards the front door. You paused without turning your head back towards him, "Good luck in Imola.”
With that you were gone.
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end notes: this was short, I am aware! there was originally supposed to be more to this chapter but I decided to turn it into its own whole part lol :) I've already started working on it so stay tuned!
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