#so now idk what to do with this print. at least it was only $5.

[405blazeitt]

sometimes i feel like no one would buy my art, it's not good enough for that... then i remember the stuff i've seen at shows or that folks have purchased from art fairs and i'm like..... maybe i'm alright actually

[portalhan]

⠀ꔫ˚　༝　◌ ⌒⌒ three strikes !

↳ jeongin swears on his life that he's seen something odd between you and felix... exactly three times, in fact, but he needs more concrete proof...

PAIRING: felix lee x gn!reader

FORMAT: one shot

GENRE: college au, friends to lovers, fluff, jeongin third wheeling...

WARNINGS: brief mentions of food and being sick (just the flu bug nothing huge)

WORD COUNT: 2.8k

FAE'S NOTES: this is just a little bit half-assed... idk if i have much faith in this and i believe i can do better than this but i'm gonna post it anyway for you guys! please let me know if you have any feedback, my writing muscles have basically atrophied and i need to find my rhythm again TT

jeongin doesn't usually second-guess his closest friends like this, but something has changed. he knows you and felix well enough to know at least that.

you have always been hard to read. you're an independent, reliable sort of person, not outwardly emotional nor needlessly arrogant either—you tend to show your love for your friends through small, quiet gestures. felix, on the other hand, is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve—almost to a fault. always baking extra brownies to gift people, always going the extra mile, always looking on the bright side, even in the darkest of situations. he is as fragile as he is affectionate.

yes, affectionate. that's the word he's been looking for to describe the changes in your friendship with felix. you've been more affectionate. jeongin has always chalked it up to felix's own proclivities rubbing off on you given the sheer amount of time you spend together, but now... he's not so sure it's that simple. there have been three strikes jeongin has kept score of so far.

STRIKE #1

jeongin remembers it was a tuesday, because that's the only day of the week where all three of you shared classes. you would always sit in a row near the back of the class. he has made it a point to memorise both yours and felix's timetables this semester—as do the both of you with him—so he knows you don't usually have prior arrangements before coming to campus. you've always had a tradition of meeting in the lobby before walking to class together as a result.

so, when his phone pings with a message from you saying 'sorry innie, we're gonna be a bit late! pls go to class first, just save us seats', he is immediately struck with confusion. what did you mean, "we"? felix, uncharacteristically, hasn't said a word and it's already 5 minutes shy from when class starts. he always arrives at least 10 minutes before. how strange, jeongin thinks to himself as he trudges up the stairs to class, incredibly unfamiliar with the circumstance of having to do so on his own for the first time. he just brushes the nagging suspicion off, telling himself it was probably because of some public transport situation that's delayed you both—not something entirely uncommon.

it's about 15 minutes into the class before he sees you. the second he spots felix and you stumbling through the doors, profusely apologising to the professor for your tardiness, though, is when the same sensation of suspicion comes back. as you and felix shuffle to make their way to the seats jeongin saved for you, he can't help but notice your attire. you're wearing an oversized black shirt with some graphic of an anime printed on. jeongin's eyes squint as he stares at it, assuming it must have been a new purchase of yours. but he swears he's seen it before.

when you and felix take your seats and the professors picks up where she left off, felix turns to jeongin and apologises for being late. "we're really sorry jeongin, we owe you one," he quips, before he fishes his laptop out of his bag. the younger boy just shrugs it off as no big deal. plus, he had something else on his mind to worry about than harp on the two of you being late to class.

the dots quickly connect a few moments later in jeongin's head. felix has a shirt just like the one you're wearing. he swears he's seen him wearing it before, just last week when the three of you had gone out for dinner. it's been a shirt of his for years now, so worn down by so many uses that it has bleach stains on the sleeves, despite how much care felix puts into his clothing.

jeongin leans back in his chair and slowly, subtly pushes it back. he steals a glance at your side profile, thankfully without either you or felix noticing. there they were: bleach stains on the sleeves. upon further inspection, the shirt you were wearing looks way too worn out to be a new shirt—he concludes it must be felix's. but why would you wear felix's dank shirt to begin with? it would be weird to ask if that's his shirt you were wearing, so he decides to keep his silence for now.

STRIKE #2

this time, it was jeongin's turn to be late. the three of you had planned a picnic to celebrate the end of the gruelling semester—an idea felix suggested. he wanted it to be a potluck, so the each of you planned to bring something of your own making along.

jeongin wanted to go all out with his: he wanted to bake cupcakes, something felix had recently taught him how to. he wanted to show you his latest endeavours, baked fresh, but he didn't expect it to go sideways so last minute. he ended up showing up almost half an hour late, hair sticking to his forehead from all the sweat and cupcake frosting smeared all over the tupperware he placed them in out of haste.

when he finally spots the two of you amid the grass field at the park, he notices something... odd. he stops in his tracks to catch his breath and squints his eyes to get a better look. if he didn't know any better, he'd have thought you two were... holding hands? the sun was glaring directly in his face, obscuring his vision, so jeongin couldn't be 100% sure. but what he does know is that your figures were so close to each other they were practically shoulder-to-shoulder. this isn't exactly beyond felix, who is notorious for his habits of physical affection. but it is most certainly out of character for you, as someone who prefers to keep most people at an arm's length.

jeongin shrugs it off. he guesses felix nor he would be considered "most people". perhaps it was a trick of the light. he also doesn't have good enough reason to find it entirely strange—perhaps felix had gotten through to you in that regard. he had bigger things to worry about: your dinner getting cold.

STRIKE #3

the legitimacy of the third time is still up for debate, jeongin surmises. this time it wasn't your behaviour around each other, instead more so about how felix in particular reacted.

this happened over summer break. he remembers the sun being more unrelenting than ever—40 degrees celsius to be exact, he saw on the news—so you three had just decided to hang out in your bedroom, where the air conditioning is the coolest and crispiest (according to you). jeongin vividly recalls you lying on your stomach atop your bed, while the two boys were sprawled on the floor. that is, the carpet that laid over the spot where they would usually sprawl on the floor.

it was one of those 'parallel play' days, as you liked to call them. not necessarily doing things together, but doing separate things in the presence of each other, you said one time. felix was busy on his switch playing some pokemon game, you were scrolling on your phone and jeongin was just seconds away from drifting off to sleep on felix's lap.

it's been silent for, what, almost two hours now? but you end up breaking it first. "woah," you suddenly exclaimed, brows furrowing as you read something on your screen. "do you guys remember seungmin? from calculus?"

jeongin does not move an inch aside from nodding his head, and felix just lets out a little "yeah?" though his eyes were never once peeled from the console screen.

"i think he just asked me out," you tell them, bewildered.

this, of course, elicits reactions of surprise from jeongin and felix. the former lifts himself and sits up to ask details, while the other just turns the switch off—did he even save his progress on the game?—and sits there in silence as he silently watches you and jeongin discuss your classmate's... proposition. jeongin makes a playful jab at how you could have given him the wrong idea by flirting with him, which you immediately shut down. "i've never done anything suggestive to him, i swear!" you exclaimed in full defense.

seungmin has only ever made conversation with you once or twice in class, jeongin recalls. you also never really put in the effort to get to know your other classmates if jeongin and felix were in the same classes. jeongin makes a passing comment about how seungmin could pass as your type (if you squint hard enough), but it falls on deaf ears when you and felix meet each other's gazes.

"you're gonna tell him no, right?" felix suddenly chimes in after moments of prolonged silence, raspy voice cracking just a little. jeongin snaps his head to turn and look at his friend, head tilted and brow lifted. you give felix a look jeongin cannot quite describe, and chuckle with a soft smile as you nod. "of course i'm gonna say no," you assure him. he lets out a very heavy sigh of relief, but none of this goes unnoticed by jeongin.

this is very weird, jeongin remembers thinking. you have always been receptive to potential love interests, even if they weren't necessarily people you'd normally be into. so why are you so sure now that you'd reject seungmin without even giving him a chance?

on that note, what's it to felix who asks you out? why does he have a say? plus, he could've sworn he detected some semblance of... jealousy in his question. but he supposes that could be normal considering all three of you are so used to spending time with each other. jeongin does admit to himself that he'd feel lonely if you were to be whisked away by some stranger out of nowhere. it wouldn't be the same.

jeongin has theories, maybe even concepts of a theory, but no concrete enough proof for confrontation—so far. it looks like he has to wait till he does before he can address the massive elephant in the room.

FINAL STRIKE

it finally happens when he decides to stop by your apartment with take-out. you had told your friends about falling sick the night before—alas, you have caught the flu bug. they were just textbook symptoms like a low-grade fever, sore throat and a runny nose, nothing to worry about in particular, you told them. but jeongin just so happens to pass by your neighbourhood on his usual route home from work, so he decides to drop in with some chicken soup for you as a small surprise. you had already been texting the group chat the entire day about how exhausted you were to make yourself a half-decent dinner, so jeongin thought this would be a nice way to take care of his friend.

he knocks on your door multiple times to no response. maybe you're sleeping? he looks around the potted plants sitting outside your door and lifts the snake plant up, grabbing the rusted spare key tucked away from prying eyes just underneath. he quickly and quietly unlocks the front door and lets himself in. i'll just go in, check on y/n and put this soup on the table, he tells himself as he enters. maybe text you to let you know he got you dinner.

that is, until a warm aroma of what he believes to be fresh bolognese wafts to where he is at the front door. he hears the distant clanging of pots and pans coming from the kitchen, and—strangest of all—he hears... conversation? he can definitely hear you talking and even giggling, but he can't quite make out who the other person was. he's about 99% sure there was someone else in here, but could it be just a phone call? he sneaks down the hallway to the kitchen, the noises getting clearer as he inches closer. when he sticks his head out from a blind corner to peek into the kitchen, he sees it: felix plating a fresh bowl of spaghetti while you're sitting on the dining table engaged in idle chatter. a lump catches in his throat—what is felix doing here? and most importantly, why didn't he know of this? he felt momentarily betrayed.

jeongin just stands there in silence, unsure of how to confront you, while you and felix continue chatting. it's only when felix sets down two plates of pasta and goes in to plant a peck on your cheek does jeongin yelp in shock, which frightens all three of you.

felix squints his eyes, which widen in utter disbelief when he recognises the familiar facade lurking by the corridor. "jeong...in?" he asks, voice trembling a little from disbelief. when he says jeongin's name, you shoot him a similar look, but this one is more panicked and afraid. jeongin awkwardly steps out within view, but he puts a hand up to cover his mouth to prevent himself from screaming. he raises the other arm to point an accusatory finger at the both of you. you swear you just heard felix gulp next to you.

"i..." jeongin sputters. "i knew it! i knew something was going on between you two idiots!"

the verbalisation of his revelation is what completely opens the floodgates, causing the entire place to erupt in complete and utter chaos. jeongin paces back and forth with the chicken soup still dangling from his fingers as he rants about how he's caught you doing "weird stuff" a couple of times but couldn't have known, about how he's been feeling a little left out recently, how you have been looking at felix funny sometimes. meanwhile, felix just begins to talk over him with near-equal (if not more) amounts of sheer panic and distress, reaching out to him to get him to calm down while explaining that this wasn't how they had intended for him to find out.

you, crippled by the shock from jeongin's unexpected appearance, just sit there, unable to do much of anything what with your flu, just silently watching felix and jeongin form a panic attack circle jerk in your own house.

"enough!" jeongin raises his voice, which immediately shuts felix up. jeong has never raised his voice. you shoot felix a nervous look.

"i thought we were best friends," jeongin utters, the slightest hint of melancholy lacing his voice. he looks offended. you've never seen him look this offended, not even when he was accused of academic misconduct that one time. "i'm happy for you, ecstatic even! i swear i am, but really? why would you keep this for me for so long?"

you decide you should talk to him—felix is very clearly out of his depth when it comes to handling intense situations like this and he's only making jeongin feel worse with all the jabbering. you stand up from your seat on the table and walk over to him, taking your hands in his.

"i'm sorry, jeongin. we... we weren't entirely sure of how we were gonna do this," you tell him, almost in a whisper.

felix scratches the back of his neck, avoiding any and all eye contact with either of you. "we wanted to keep it quiet," he admits. "at first, at least."

you nod in agreement, and turn back to look at jeongin. "you were going to be the first person we would break the news to. not even our own parents, i swear," you divulge, while you spot felix in the corner of your eye making a silent crossed hearts gesture to double down on his sincerity. jeongin's once-tense features start to ease up a bit, but not entirely. "you are our best friend. we never want you to feel like this. we're sorry," you assure him, before pulling him into a bear hug. you feel felix join from behind you to make it a group hug.

"i don't care what you guys have going on, but don't keep any more secrets from me. got it?" your friend huffs after you all pull back, feigning some sort of authority. felix chuckles at how ridiculous he sounds—being the youngest of the three, the tone just sounds alien when it comes from him. "we would never," felix tells him, reaching out to give jeongin a firm pat on the back. "i think y/n might like you more than me anyway, they're always going, 'we should call jeongin! we should send him a photo! we should—"

your palm slaps against the lower half of your boyfriend's face in protest. "we might be dating but you're on thin ice," you glare at him, before he raises both hands to surrender.

jeongin jovially chimes in to break the tension: "can i just say, i've always felt like you'd get along. aren't you glad i introduced you to each other? you wouldn't be a thing if it weren't for me, ya know." felix and you just huff in response—he can have this.

[skyfallscotland]

I don’t know if this is weird, but I don’t have many friends and I am weird, admittedly so…yolo, but this is just a diary post really of all the things on my mind right now.

• The response on ink & mistletoe was really lovely and I’m especially grateful for it while I’m still having a rough time.

• I really wanted to write more this week because I wanted to finish off ink & mistletoe and Truth & Talon before Onyx Storm comes out, but I have a migraine again and I’ve just been so exhausted it’s not happening, which sucks.

• I did start a new book though—my first of 2025—Just For the Summer by Abby Jimenez. One of my resolutions for the new year is to read more actual books, so I’m off to a start at least. One thing that wigged me out though, it’s first person past-tense? What the fuck is that, why are we doing that? My brain does not like.

• Speaking of Onyx Storm, should I start posting my theories now as I write them, or just save it for one big post a few days before?

• I’m still incredibly bothered by not only the continuing trend of oh surprise another special edition with content not available to you! But also mostly the response from other people to it, mostly Americans, because no one else is saying “no one’s making you buy them all” or “having choices is a good thing” because uhh *checks notes* we don’t? We just pay twice the amount of money you do for made-in-a-sweatshop, falling apart crap with less features.

• Also, just as an aside so you all are ready, I’m fairly certain there’s a special edition of Iron Flame coming…probably with bonus content. Someone asked if she was going to do one because it just had plain edges and she replied with a winking face. I’m going to say in Feb/March, and with dragon edges to match OS & the original FW print run. Call me Cassandra, idk.

• My (undiagnosed, I guess) OCD is getting worse, so if anyone has any tips or tricks for that throw them my way because seeing a psychiatrist in this town is not only the price of a small car, but almost impossible. Everyone’s books are closed, because we’re all a fucking mess apparently idk. They did say they had someone who might find me and my eclectic collection of mental illnesses “interesting” though, so I at least get to send my referral through 🙃

• Lastly, I am once again calling for people to stop drowning. If you come to Australia, please understand how rips work. If you’re not a strong swimmer, don’t swim anywhere there aren’t lifeguards. You are not as safe as you think you are, I promise you. Almost every day there’s been another drowning death that’s been entirely preventable and it’s infuriating, half the time there are kids involved. Don’t put your kids at risk for fuck’s sake. View the below if you’re curious (or coming here). I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t spot them from front on, most people can’t unless they grew up on the beach, but again, if you can’t that’s why you shouldn’t swim anywhere help can’t get to you. 31 people drowned in four weeks is madness when there are over 600 patrolled beaches in this country. And people worry about the wildlife, good lord.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

oooohhhh, so we're doing another one of these, eh? let's have some fun!

(the following is my live reaction:)

ah yes, the new TADC episode, which was fantastic btw

HELL YEAH

I honestly didn't expect that bc I was like, "what kinda trip would it be for them to take a bike? camping maybe???" (I still don't get the "trip" part about it tbh)

sooooooo teasing and banter are part of your (platonic/romantic) love language?..... [*writes it down*]

3, we all know Mario is basically invincible right? betting 4 dollars on him winning this race

ooooohh, a prize 👀 though based on past episodes, 4 doesn't have the greatest ideas for prizes, judging by the Crew's reaction at least (I would still want your autograph, 4)

LET'S-A FUCKIN GOOOOOOOO

honestly mood

"imaging yourself as a jet plane will not help you zis time, jet" (gotta add the riders fandub in here man)

That wasn't even Mario's fault, that was a bigass rock

PFFFT ASHD;LAF four tf are you doing dude, can i join you

[*looks at moon*] don't say it don't say it don't I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT—

If Mario's flexible enough to reach the moon and the sun and the Great Beyond, you can too 👍

oh my god, i get it /ref

WHY IS THAT ROCK STILL THERE?

whelp Kev, looks like you aren't voicing Boopkins this episode

I miss your pink reading glasses 3 (wait did you somehow lose them on that island?)

also you do need glasses, my guy? i think you would cute in them btw

so um... who's gonna tell him?

(actually now I thought about it, the drawing that 4 had was on his PC and it got thrown away. 4 please tell me you saved that file somewhere else, was the printed-out version in 3's notebook actually canon? can it be?)

apparently fanartists, we need to make for fanart of 3, let's get to it!!!

loved the way James delivered that line "ouchie" (timestamp 5:29)

OH HEY slenderman, it's been a while, hello!

Kev, is that you? I can hear a bit of Shroomy in that voice

🤔 huh

Tari and Luigi are so sweet, I love them 💙

"I don't have eyes so I can't see you!" 🧍 not gonna question it

Mario, what were you so afraid of? it's slendy, your bro (looks like they didn't put that lore in smh, it's fine tho)

slenderman being here kinda fits tho bc we first saw 4's locket in the "Lost in the Woods" episode to come back in the "Plane Trip" and now slenderman comes back in another "Mario's Trip" ep

if only those cowards would show us what pic is inside that locket this time (I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT IT'S A DIFFERENT PIC, 4, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE)

anyway, he's just a little guy (i'm still waiting 4)

Tari, sweetie, this is 3 we're talking about here, ofc he would cheat

[*italian gibberish argument*] ah yes, just another normal sibling moment

MARIO LOCK IN, BRO

SONIC?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? :D

alright, now we gotta do it: 📢🎶I'm hanging on to the other side, I won't give up to the end of me—🎶 [*gets run over by a bike*] OH C'MON

LET'S GOOOOOO WOAH DUDE ANIMATION

WE'RE GONNA TOKYO DRIFT IN HERE BOYS

nothing person-el, kid /ref, and the rock came back full circle

AKIRA SLIDE BABYYYYY

kinda half-expected slenderman to accidentally win the race but CONGRATS MARIO 🎉

it was really gonna be sweet but yeah, that's our Mario

I'm sure the mar3 shippers are enjoying their crumbs

AWWW 4 HONEY I WOULD ENJOY YOUR GIFT

i would protect him at all costs (no don't look at what I did for the episode concepts shhhh)

and i oop

well um congrats to Abbie/Abit (@/jYMylD9Rm84xxCX) for your art featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

This was a silly little episode and I have indeed enjoyed it. Not as emotional as the last one but I had fun nevertheless. Though, it didn't feel like a "Mario's Trip" episode, compared to the other ones. Maybe that's just me idk.

The animation and references, peak. As for the plot itself, it felt very on-brand for SMG4. Strangely, the chaotic energy in this one was toned down which is new. Like I said, it was still fun, had plenty of laughs. There isn't much to say about this but yeah, good to have a silly goofy time overall!!!

and yes, I will gladly take that bell, 4 [*ding ding*] :)

[goldenpinof]

curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

[why-the-heck-not]

Top 5 technologies that, unfortunately, have fallen out of use

okay this was interesting, had to rly think. Also idk if my definition of "technology" is right, but anything resembling will go. ALSO damn I rambled a lot, sorry abt that, apparently I like thinking about old tech

CDs. I miss owning albums, it was so nice to like actually have the physical copy of something u love. I think that's what missing now and is why I sometimes get actually annoyed abt loving a band/song (rn it's The Vantages (a band) & I'm actually mad about it) bc the "listening to it is not enough, I need to inject it to my bloodstream"-mood, which in actuality is that I'd love a physical copy to make it feel like a concrete thing. It's like the next best thing to going to a concert, and I can't keep buying merch I'll never wear outside my house to compensate. Also made u like decide on what album u want to listen to & the songs are always gonna be in the same order the artist decided them to be in, no mixing songs from the same or diff artists, you had to make A Choice. (actually my dad has my fave bands CDs (old-ish band & he an og fan) and it's kinda comforting to me that if (/when?) some Spotify apocalypse eventually happens, I'll have a way to listen to them anyways). Also been thinking for years about buying either a CD- or a vinyl player, or something like that bc I want to have physical copies of my faves (but haven't decided on what yet (probs vinyl tho. for the vibes.) and also the money aspect of it is not great)

Nokias. I just talked with my sister how we've both been thinking abt just buying an old Nokia keypad non-smart phone and just using that instead of like the current phones (but alas, not rly possible, like I can't get into my gym without a smart phone and that's just one thing, u kinda need a smartphone or life becomes unnecessarily complicated). But the durability, the worm game, the ''oh no in a hurry and need the letter s, oh shit I went overboard and went right back to p''). Also Finland represent lol

tamagotchi type things. like a "gaming console" (it's not but idk what those are called) that has the one game with abt 3 pixels and no color. Also I had one like that had a monkey that collected dropping bananas and that was the whole game, the only function that thing had (I have a suspicion I got it from McDonalds??? idk why I keep thinking that) (Googled and yes it was from McDonalds, called Aiai banana catch)

those big computers that were for the whole household. We didn't have one growing up (bc my parents had computers at their work and so we didn't need one) but the thrill of going to like a friend who lived near and they used their 1h of computer time to like play some horse game; unparalleled. Or like the games at Miniclip ?? or later on CLUB PENGUIN !!!!! (still to this day the best game that has or ever will exist) (tho I think at around club penguin-era my sister got a laptop so I used that until I got my own)

Those calculators that prints on paper what u've calculated right after, idk what they're called. Never used one & obv never had one bc was a kid, and actually not fully sure if ppl still do use them (but guessing at least that they're not as popular anymore) but damn. The pure aesthetics and vibes. Like the movie scenes of a character calculating using that while looking at bills to indicate that the said character has some finance problems? phenomenal, cinematography etc.

[rbvcdeluxe]

it’s 1 am and i haven’t gotten good sleep in like the last week and just attended some events today and also some other days i’ve been too busy lately and like yk i’m rewatching black friday for the third time today as always and idk if this is just the tiredness speaking but i’m looking at this not-so-great-quality screenshot i literally just took right now and all i’m thinking is “oh my god oh my god oh my god he looks so fucking great holy shit look at that lightning look at that pose this is amazing oh my god” and honestly i don’t know why this is all i’m thinking about. i paused my rewatch for at least 10 minutes just staring at this specific shot. what is happening. what is my brain doing. this shot is just amazing i don’t have much to say about it like jesus fucking christ please look at that lightning look like holy shitttt and also the clothes looks so fucking like joey is going so hard with this how does he manage to go this hard how does he manage to be this fucking amazing holy shit i literally need everyone to see this shot right now please i need everyone to appreciate how good this looks because i am literally dying as i’m writing this. i can’t sleep. why is this shot so powerful i could literally die just by looking at this like this is so good looking this pic is so visually pleasing this should be put in a museum and have everyone stare at it for 5 hours it should have its own museum where the only piece in the building is this everything else is absolutely empty its literally just a room with a printed image of this

i don’t think i’m ok right now

[naumin]

november updates

ok so i know november ended yesterday, i did think about titling this post december updates but i know december will be a whole different beast for me... just let me have this... it's been a really long time since i sat down and talked about all my recent projects and goings on!!!! so in case you missed what i've been up to, read on... :)

the free Laios/Marcille fanthology I organised is OUT!!! no tall towers to climb (https://naumin.itch.io/laimar) came out November 10th, and erm only 5 days later than scheduled... it's a big boy at 112 pages with contributions from 14 fans !! I had so much fun organising this and was really touched by the love and care ppl put into their works... fans are so powerful... it's free to download and read digitally or even print and bind your own copy (I am really excited to see your printed and bound copies if you have made them please dont hesitate to @ me...) I love books.. i love making books...

I don't have plans to organise a Volume II however I did start writing a post of my process to maybe help and encourage anyone else who'd like to start a project like this one. It got really lengthy though and I wasn't sure if it was helpful to anyone lol so when I have a minute I really gotta go and edit that thing down

also nobody asked me but the title is based on a poem by 12thc warrior poet Xin Qiji. i guess the tower reminded me of their dungeon misadventures hehe.

also did i mention it's FREE! !!!!!!!

7 months of subscribestar I've officially been making new posts on substar every single week since May ! It's been really fun tbh and I don't have plans of slowing down yet :) I really appreciate everyone who's visited and it makes a huge difference even just subscribing for 1 month or 2, just having that little extra to help out on months where I can't take as many commissions or I'm sick or away from home etc! You may have noticed I've added a tip jar tier ($2.5) for those who can't manage the $6 sketchbook tier... on principle I wanna make it lower but after fees it'd be zilch and I am kind of like if you have $2... maybe hold onto that. lol. maybe use that somewhere else. you can always make 1-time donations through substar or ko-fi (yeah, I have one...) my next projects...

Ballet Yuri Year One, the compilation book of one year of works on Ilze & Evangeline, whos 1st birthday was in September and I haven't had time to look at the files since October but I will look at them again soon-- last spot I left it, it was at least 30 pages... I think it will definitely be double that and could possibly be triple that (omg).

NERD SEX VOLUME III my annual NSFW sketchbook which traditionally comes out around January/February! I'm delusional that this one will be the simplest to put together and so it might be the next thing you see from me. It will be available for all subscribers as soon as it's ready. I also gotta remember to upload Nerd Sex I & II at the same time. for those who dont wanna subscribe, you can get 50% off Nerd Sex I & II in the meantime now :) also i forsee about 300% more lesbians in Nerd Sex III. It's the year of the dyke.

A collaborative NSFW anthology coming next year. This one has a longer production period to give everyone time to work and give me time to get organised lol. Hopefully you'll hear more about this one in the new year! It's for the boys and the ppl who love boys <3

the issues oh my god I've been having technical issues with my ipad the last month. I keep getting random lines and marks while drawing in procreate ! A lot of people said it could be my sweater or hand or case touching the screen while I draw but I don't think that is it, plus it's only started recently. It's not my pen and it's not my settings. it apparently COULD be a technical issue with my ipad model which would suck cuz I got this refurbished (from Apple still) so do i have like..... warranty? will they repair it for me :S? idk. I'll have to look into it though sooner or later cuz it's driving me bananas and slowing my output! AGH! I pray she heals on her own overnight. amen.

commissions I am NOT taking any new commissions in December (unless you are a $10 subscriber) but I am still doing the KISS YCH which also has a very cute wintery version up for this month only lol. same price! check it out if you wanna see your pookies under the mistletoe <3 would make a great present to you or someone u know...

alright that's all. thanks for reading my updates post. did anyone read this whole post besides me? thanks for being there for a while whilst i talked to myself before you presumably left and did something more fun and enriching. i love you.

[beplerblurbs]

Hello could I request 5. “Let’s go home” “I’m already home” with Kamden if that’s possible?

overnight n.kd

pairing: officeworker!kamden x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: some swearing!

wc: idk yet!

a/n: hii sorry for the inactiveness ive been busy working pls understand <3 requests r slowly being done

“and i expect it done, on my desk, by 9 in the morning.” your daunting boss leers over you and your co-worker.

you made a mistake with a research report that would displace 2 weeks of worth down the drain… and now you needed to redo the whole thing, in less than 24 hours.

your upset boss sits back down in their luxurious leather seat, oozing with cockiness. “you can leave now.”

both of you left the room, closing the door softly. you hear a heavy sigh of frustration in your right ear. “are you okay y/n?” you pout to him.

pouting to a co-worker would be unprofessional but this was kamden. your long-term boyfriend.

you guys started dating shortly after you joined the company, but being a very professional space, you both felt like keeping it a secret would be best.

“i guess,” you look around to see if anyone was around, seeing no one you fix his glasses and caress his cheek, “how about you? you put in so much work into this.”

he gives you a small smile, “yeah, but what can i do right? we can do this babe, don’t worry, we have each other right?” kamden plays with your fingers.

you peer over his shoulder and see a co-worked, you quickly raise ur eyebrows as a signal to switch personas and act like you’re talking about work, walking off to your desks in separate areas of the office.

you both put in extra effort into replacing the improper research report with all the adjustments but it’s taking time. eventually its 10pm, only just over halfway done, but with no sign of stopping.

your co-workers gave you their condolences about the mishap. one of them, taerae, was nice enough to drop off some extra gimbap before heading home.

you’re both stuffing your faces with it while working away at your screens.

by 3 am you had finished your portion of the work, waiting for your boyfriend to finish up his own.

he turns for a second, even with sleepy dark eyes, illuminated by his computer screen, he was still as attractive and endearing as ever. “you can go home first y/n, i dont want to keep you up.” he turns back to his work.

you could see he looked uncomfortable being up for so long, he also gave you his sweater because you felt cold, but you could also see the goosebumps on his arm as he typed away.

you hum in response, you sneak away to the office kitchen where you make a hot tea for him, and sneak into taerae’s locker to find a blanket, he also gets cold easily, and has it in his lap when the boss isn’t around.

taerae would kill you tomorrow for taking his things, but you’re boyfriend was more important.

when kamden sees a sudden steamy drink in front of him, along with a soft blanket around his shoulders, being laid on properly by a pair of familiar loving hands, he leans his cheek on one of the hands.

“i love you y/n you know?” he takes a sip of the tea and gets back to work. he felt so loved and appreciated especially in this time when your boss had be such as asshole, at least you were doing it together. he couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime

“i love you too, i’ll stay here ‘till you’re done,” you smile at him, taking a seat in the desk chair next to him. you make sure he doesn’t make mistakes as he’s super fatigued

…

“DONE! lets get this shit printed and out on their desk,” you with half asleep eyes jump up when kamden yells.

you see the clock says around 5 am. he drags you to the printer so you guys can put it into a folder and hand it in. silly enough he still has the blanket on his shoulders.

kamden lays the final down nicely on your boss’ desk and close the door behind him. the report is now in the past.

“y/n, thank you again, you’ve worked so hard,” kamden quickly engulfs you in a tight hug with the blanket, and doesn’t seem to be letting go soon.

“you too, i don’t know how you stay focused for so long… let’s go home now,” kamden shakes his head.

you tilt your head, super confused.

kamden wraps you in his arms with the blanket. “i’m already home,” he smiles before giving you a warm kiss.

you giggle, “you’re cheeky babe… but please i’m tired im calling in sick, our boss sucks ass”

kamden huffs in agreement keeping you by the shoulder as you guys leave the office. taerae can get back his stuff later.

[crazycatgirl420]

First Lines

I'm not sure if this is the first line of the whole fic or the first line of the part I'm currently working on so...since I don't actually know the rules I'll just do whichever feels right for it Kay? Cool.

1) Ellie sat on a stool on the stage, a simple black dress shimmering under the light. She was supposed to sing some sad love song tonight but all she could think about was the death of Robin the Second. Looking at the crowd of Gotham Citizens she wondered if they even knew yet.

This one is still a draft but it's teenage singer Danielle in an dp×DC universe. The song that inspired the first chapter was actually a cover of the Beatles song Blackbird.

2) Sam wasn't related to her by blood, but Grandma Ida had always loved her for who she was. Sam would never truly worry about money, though she had spent most of her savings on her car and the apartment, because Grandma wouldn't let Sam go hungry or cold. A thousand dollars would be sent to Sam's bank account evey month, and had been since she was a baby.

The next chapter of Gotham's Black Rose is a bit of a struggle for me right now, it takes place after they've moved to Gotham, about them settling in and finding their footing in a new city, and Sam does some reflection on her relationship with her adopted Grandma.

3) "Father, Grandfather, Uncles," Danny greeted as he walked into the dinning room and sat down. The adults all looked at him, but Danny just smiled.

"Who let a kid in here?" - "Uncles?" - "Father?" - "Who are you?"

They all spoke at once but Danny waited for them to quiet down before he spoke up.

"Daniel Bertinelli, or Constantine if you check magical lineage, or Wayne if you ask for my mother's biological father's last name."

"I've got a kid?" The blond Constantine dropped his cigarette.

"...Helena Bertinelli is my daughter?" Bruce Wayne stared at the table as if the wood would make any of this easier.

The next part of The Fine Print where 'everyone' finds out they've had children they didn't know about.

4) Gotham was not a good city to be homeless in, Danny learned. It was cold at night, and rained at least once a week, and he never knew here he was going to sleep.

My Project R fic is not doing too well, I'm not sure why or what to do with it.

5) When Paulina imagined her Graduation from High School, she never would've pictured this for herself. She was Eighteen, turning Nineteen this summer. She thought she'd be dating Dash or Star, that she'd be taking photos and going out to dinner with either of them or maybe the cheer team would meet up.

Of course she never would've predicted Phantom. Couldn't have imagined Fenton. And you can't predict an unexpected baby. That's what makes them unexpected.

But here she was. Kneeling on the grass of the football field, blue Graduation gown the only thing protecting her JJ House designer dress from stains, and her heels starting to sink into the dirt.

"Grad-u-lates Pauli," Ellie said, carefully, with a toothy smile and her happy bright blue eyes. Her little arms went up, hands grabbing at the air. "Uppies?"

It's a Paulina/Danny raise baby Danielle in Gotham fic idk if it's going to go anywhere but I find it cute to think about.

6) Soul dreams were a safe place, at least they were usually. A neutral place where souls met to bring each other into their lives. How the soul dream took shape depended on who was asleep first, and was still asleep when the other joined them.

I hit a self doubt wall with my first soulmate fic, I wanted to analyze Jazz's sense of responsibility towards Danny and her tendency to treating him as a child even while acknowledging he's a teenager. I also wanted to analyze Dick's relationships with his own siblings once I picked him as Jazz's soulmate for this fic. I'm not sure if I should go back to my notes and try again or if I should give up on it entirely for a different soulmate fic.

7) I'm not sure if cleaning the Fenton house was a good idea anymore. Jasmine Fenton sat on the couch in front of me, her hands clasped together and a strange look on her face.

My self instert fic has hit a wall so hard I decided I am going to change it completely. I tried I struggled and I had no idea what I was doing. Here's the last I had for it as it is now though.

Okay! So there's my 7 current WIPs sorta. I haven't had the heart to actually remove anything from my list of projects even though I'm done trying to write for some of them. I did my best though! And I'm proud of what I learn every time I try something new.

I think I'm supposed to tag other people to play too so I guess I'll tag @faeriekit @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 @evandarya @spooky-fm @p0ssym1lker

Okay I'm not brave enough to tag more people in a silly game, maybe next time. I'd like to thank @weirdfishy for tagging me, sorry it took me so long to make play too! This was fun once I stopped over thinking it.

[allhandsondeck1]

ATTENTION ALL NON KPOP LISTENERS THAT HAVE A KPOP STAN IN YOUR LIFE!!!!! (This is a ramble)

Do you have a friend, partner, sibling, etc. that loves kpop? Is their birthday soon? Do you want to give them a bouquet, but don't know what flower to give them? I HAVE THE PERFECT THING FOR YOU! A BIAS BOUQUET!!!

Okay so along with my sister's birthday being.. literally rn (it's 1 am for me at the time of posting this), it's also right before valentines day! She's my best friend, and my sister, and she deserves a bouquet. She is obsessed with kpop. Like, can hear the first few seconds of a song and name the group, song, album, and who is singing at each moment(she scares me). She has like, a million favorite groups, so I had made a list and broooo.. I didn't even use half of the list, and the list was at least 20 or more members.. AND IT WASNT EVEN ALL OF THEM

So you can tell what my motive for this was, yeah? It's actually hella easy! I didn't take progress shots, because I got school later and didn't have the time to stop and take pictures, but here's what you need!

An editing or art app

Paper/Cardstock

lamination sheets

Wooden skewers

A foam cone

Tape

Tissue paper

Pipe cleaners (optional)

Sticky notes (optional)

Soo to start I went to pinterest and downloaded a few photos of my sister's favorite idols. You don't have to do all of them, you can do one group or just a bunch of photos of their favorite person! Whatever you want. I used the app IBISPAINTX to put them all together in different sizes, so it was easier to print and cut out and they can vary in sizes. Use whatever app or website you think works!

I basically just put them in collages like this.

I emailed them to myself and then printed them out on cardstock paper, just so they were stiffer and would last longer, but if you don't want to/don't have that, regular printer paper will work!

Jm using a digital version, just to show it(also in courtesy of the girl bc its my sister's favorite and I forgot to print her out 😭) but after they are printed, cut your idols out, just the perimeter around it!

Then, this is also optional, but I used lamination sheets over the pictures! Try and fit as many of your idols on the sheets just to save, but be careful, because you want to make sure when you cut them out, they have a small gap on the lamination, just so the lamination doesn't peel off. The lamination will just make the pictures last longer, so your person can keep them after! *the gray represents the lamination!*

Now, I bought a foam cone fromWalmart, but yoh can probably grt it at micheals or any craft store! Mine was a little small, I don't have exact dimensions cause I just guessed, but I think eying it and guessing too will do just fine! I also got some skewers, which can be found anywhere, I just found them in a drawer lol. Next thing is tape!

Youre going to take your idols and your skewers, just tape the back onto the skewer before you stick it into the foam. Now, this part is optional too, but I used some purple pipe cleaners to wrap around the skewers! I just measured the part that was stuck into the foam, then I taped the idol on after I pulled it out,and then I wrapped the pipe cleaners above the line and to the bottom of the picture, and stuck it back in

Another optional thing is to make paper hearts! I found a tutorial on YouTube to make inflatable ones! I used the skewers to poke through the top and then layer purple and pink ones. I made seven so it could start on one color and end in the same color! I made three of these pattern heart things, but you can make as many as you want! (This works well if it's for a romantic partner or for valentines day!)

Finally I just used purple and pink tissue paper to hide the cone, and taped it together to keep it in place! Here's the final product in horrible lighting

I can only name like, 5 people on this bouquet, and then the girl on my demonstration but idk how to spell her name lol

Anyways! There's a good, decently cheap present for your local kpop lover!

[rainbowgod666]

On it

Things that change between canon and what i cooked

Shinji and Gendo unironically are the only ones being like "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO FEEL PAIN WHEN USING THE EVA"

Kawoshin is canon

The compilation of times asuka gets humbled (read: decked in the face) would be ¼ of the shows runtime. Maybe a third. And 5 minutes of those would be shinji snapping

Speaking of our little white boy: he is the one actively making the EVA eat in that one scene (thenagain when iw atched the original i went "aww hes a widdle hungy boy :3"). Yeah when i gave him the "knight" upgrade it went... exactly as you would believe

The scene where theyre all naked has a gag where rei is like "nice cock bro" to shinji

Rei does every drug under the sun and also the only thing she got from shinjis mom is... the lineaments. Yeah the cloning process was so cracked the best way i can describe it is "NERV engineers accidentally gave a sister to one of the 4000 humans that survived the supervolcano eruption, whoops!"

She also is the first one to kiss shinji. Right before the Ramiel mission

Of course they both enjoyed it

Every time shinji runs away its shown less as "cowardice" and more as "look i will try my best but thats literally the gasterblaster gabriel ultrakill would use misato-san. Get a fucking grip girl". In at least one scene his running away is just him getting on a hill and screaming SO HARD everyone in neo Tokyo 3 hears him

Oh yeah btw he and steven quartz diamond cutiepie universe share one thing: (Max0r voice) step 1, bottle the emotions, step 2 uh (funny pause) m o l o t o v c o c k t a i l

Kaworu dies (he respawns right before the end of the series) and uuuh... you know that joke that goes "gay pride is over its time for GAY WRATH"?

Yeah.

That.

...

Unironically, by the end of this "Evangelion 4.0", shinji has one of the highest non-passive kill counts ever.

And he doesnt remember SHIT.

He did all that for kaworu (which, spoilers for evangelion, hes the last angel technically) which then causes 5th impact

Oh yeah btw this is a "reversal of cause and effect" where 3rd and 4th impact KINDA happened but uhhh yeag.

Also every other evangelion official series is canon

Aaaaaaaand one of the angels is just. An author stand in. Gonna call that mf Kamiel lmao

Oh and btw all pilots are over 18. Soooooooooooo

Did i mention mari is there? Yeah shes there and shes the light of the party :3

So, to recap

Shinji is now a power bottom with anger issues, asuka suffers karma every step of the way (and she doesnt learn at all lol), rei does le troche quelle besandi because she finds out shes immortal and they can quick-print her Lancer RPG style, kaworu is gay and everyone wuvs him (LOOK HIS HAIR IS HELLA FLUFFY AND HES A SWEETHEART OK?), gendo is just fucking done with everything because "look i get hes the 3rd children but hes mah son ffs at least make the EVA not THAT connected to his brain ffs when he cannibalized the angel im 90% sure the reports said "sexual excitement" like come on man let him have his legally required days off", misato has... a few braincells loose, and idk about everyone else. Everyone is just. Abridged

[mizkit]

new blog post: now that i can fill a bobbin...

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/now-that-i-can-fill-a-bobbin/

now that i can fill a bobbin...

..I have far less excuse to not sew. I mean, yes, time and all that, but honestly, it’s not that I don’t have time, it’s that I spend A GREAT DEAL of my not-working time fucking about on the internet to no good purpose. And as I keep mumbling about, I do have ambitions to be doing stuff that will cause me to NOT fuck about on the internet (and i’m getting better about it! I genuinely am!), but a thing I learned doing four days of all-consuming sewing is that having a SPECIFIC, not nebulous/ideal, project in the evening is actually a really good way to keep me offline for a lot of hours.

To that end, I did pick up the hat I’m knitting and start on that again, although you must understand by “hat I’m knitting” I mean “I’ve done like six rows,” so let’s not get too excited. But still, I HAD done like four rows and now I’ve done six. So that’s something. :)

But anyway, instead of spending a million hours on social media despairing, I’ve been looking at patterns as if I have in fact unlocked a whole new version of myself who sews and will wear clothes that are not t-shirts & jeans. One of my friends rather sensibly suggested that perhaps instead of going straight for the 1940s Matrix dieselpunk vibe that my greedy little heart lusts after, perhaps I should make a vest which I might actually wear WITH jeans & ease my way toward the punk rockabilly future-retro heartbreaker thing, or at least, new clothes.

I do have a couple of dress/top/tunic things that I’ve worn to pieces and would like to replace, but they were apparently in fashion TEN YEARS AGO, not a vague 3-5 years ago like I thought, and there’s nothing like them available now in the stores now. I’ve found patterns for ones similar enough to work, and if I sewed those it wouldn’t be expecting myself to completely change who I am. But of course my natural tendency is to do things the hardest way possible, because the dress/tops are for knit fabrics which I’ve only done the tiniest bit of sewing on and which are Tricky.

But anyway, so I found that pattern, and then decided okay I’d go for it, except it turned out it was 70% off now so then I had to look at OTHER patterns to see what was irresistibly 70% off. The catch is that most of these are actual printed patterns that they’d send to me, which actually I prefer to pdfs that I have to glue together, but it does mean adding the cost of shipping & customs on to them. OTOH they’re light & VERY CHEAP.

I ended up with five patterns for under fifty dollars including shipping and customs charges (which, given that they often run $15+, is a Real Bargain). Two of the patterns are PDFs, so instant gratification. One’s just for a t-shirt; one’s for a skirt which, if I’m competent enough, I might end up making two of: one of the leftover green fabric from Indy’s costume, as a test run, and In Due Time, one from the Glasgow Worldcon tartan, which I (hopefully) got enough of to make up to 3 pieces.

So far the only waistcoat/vest pattern I’ve found that I really like is a DIY/make your own pattern by following these instructions one which is…man, I don’t think I’m that skilled, but…idk, I’ve got a ton of old sheets that I can cut up for practice, maybe I’ll try that. And again in a sort of ideal world, I’d do a green one & a tartan, eventually.

And there was a pattern that was also on sale that I’ve had bookmarked for a while, as a color block dress I want to make with my Glasgow Worldcon tartan. But anything to do with the tartan is very strongly Not First On My List Of Things To Do, because that’s frickin’ EXPENSIVE fabric and I need to get a looooooot more confident before I start cutting it up. (I will, in fact, almost certainly do a less expensive trial run to get familiar with the pattern even if I DO get more confident with sewing, because it’s a really cute dress that would make a perfect Everyday Cosplay Rogue outfit. Because I wear dresses so often.)

But yeah no those are down the road projects. For the moment, however, if I manage to make a t-shirt and a vest or skirt that’ll be quite an accomplishment, so I’ll consider those two things as, like, proof of concept or something, but also, importantly, as Specific Projects to work on instead of this vague idea that I should -waves hands- do something or other, probably.

[bluebunnysart]

Rain (Mikuteto sequel to Song fic) fanart: https://x.com/Slyvasta/status/1816039089239646720

look look look look look look!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

You don't even have to read said fic to look at the fanart, it's pretty spoiler-free!! I freaking love this.... I can't believe lightning struck twice and someone made me fanart of the sequel (like 5 days after posting too omg), I was staring at it some more last night and now I have it printed out and at my desk.... It's propping up my sanity fr fr, I love it so freaking much.

I love how "creature" Teto gets with each rendition of her: this artist gave her a horn, a visible fang, ears with a sharp point at the ends, and her wings are so based.... So far everyone has been consistent with the triangle tail too which is one of my favorite parts of her ofc so I love it 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤♥♥♥❤❤♥❤💖💖💓💓💓💓

So far I encounter fanart whenever I'm feeling bummed about something Negidrill-related?? It's so sweet and makes me so happy though, because seeing it just makes everything so worth it... This time they seemingly nuked my account for posting too much I think and it's still not back 😭 but I hope I get access to it again soon so I can RT all the beautiful Mktt art and post some more...

ANYWAY heavy fangirling and heavy fanfic spoilers below (I recommend reading the fanfics on AO3 before reading what I say below, unless you don't mind spoilers but I feel like "Rain" especially is best read blind lol)-- this has opened the gates to me yapping people's ears off about the setting bc at least one person likes it and even drew something for it, so nice 😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I'm really glad I separated the fics the way I did, into 6k+ readable parts, because while it's technically a 12-13k word oneshot now, a two-parter written the way it is is good.... I do want to keep writing and making more, actually, but the next part is the hardest lmao and I want at least like 90k more words of slowburn so...?!? It'd have to turn into a multichapter something and idk how to approach that at ALL lol; I'll talk more about what I have in mind at the end of this. xD

If Song is a "Miku fanfic" because it's all about Miku and her motivations and why she does the things she does, then I would say Rain is a "Teto fanfic", even though Miku still shares a lot of the POV in it. This is obviously because we learn a bit more about Teto, even if it's not a major ton: you learn where she lives (in a cave 10+ minutes away); Miku is curious about Teto's home and is willing to walk there, but Teto goes "no" because she's only known Miku for about a day and isn't gonna invite a stranger to her place immediately even if it's Miku; and you learn about how Teto reacts to Miku's antics in general. This setting is also partially "Hello Planet" inspired ofc so Miku is really devoted to her mission of protecting/finding/singing songs since that's what she was made to do, so while Miku will try to protect herself, she really easily switches the priority order of things in her own mind and has no trouble putting herself second or third. That ticks Teto off ofc because Miku does the equivalent of jump off a mountain/hill/cliff, but Miku quickly learns that Teto doesn't like that so she won't be doing things as extreme as that anytime soon. Miku's "self-preservation" skills are basically subpar (since she doesn't fully grasp that sacrificing yourself for a small object isn't a reasonable thing to do even if it's really important to you lol) but they're improving thanks to Teto lmao. Likewise, Teto was also doing the bare minimum to survive, so she also has a little more motivation to continue to try so she can continue hanging out with Miku.

Regarding the type of animal/chimera Teto actually is, this artist said "bat wings" and they're not wrong hehe but it's specifically unspecified in both fics, so they could be bat wings, not-bat wings, creature wings, anything! I specifically leave it up for interpretation because interpretation is cool and Teto is also secretive (to me AND Miku), but if you want the author's two cents/guess, I'm thinking she's like a bat-dragon-creature hybrid. (That's right! ALL of them!! www)

In the first fic, Miku asks Teto if she can breathe fire and compares Teto to a dragon, but Teto says she won't spill her guts to Miku, aka tell her all about herself, especially when there's nothing in it for her. I dunno if anyone likes to randomly Google words sometimes like me (especially when writing), but one of the definitions for chimera says "(in Greek mythology) a fire-breathing female monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail." "Official" Teto doesn't even have a tail that isn't the belt under her skirt I think but since UTAU is up to interpretation, you could absolutely take parts of this definition and depict her as such.

I was thinking that in a desolate/ruined world like the one Teto lives in, it'd be pretty hard to survive without some tricks up her sleeve, so she probably can breathe fire, which she likely uses for light (the candle in her home), cooking her food, boiling water to disinfect it, etc. etc. There's no telling how good she is at it (maybe she's REALLY good at it or she has effort pulling it off), but I just have to say that I freaking LOVE Teto in this setting lol. I freaking love dragons too btw so I think it'd be so so soo cool if she was actually part dragon. Teto thinks dragons are cool too which is why she's pleased when Miku compares her to one, but anyway, keep in mind that even though I'm the author, a lot of what I say isn't actually set in stone or official/canon. That's why I called my fanart earlier "fanart of my fanfic" instead of "official art", because it's just another interpretation and I LOVE seeing other people's interpretations, like how this artist gave Teto a single horn. 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Teto really is full creature.... I wonder why she only has one.... Is it possible she might've had two before but she lost it or it was broken....? Teto with one intact horn and a half-broken horn, ooogh.....

I'm gonna take another couple minutes to gush about this Rain fanart again because I freaking love seeing how other people interpret (my) stuff and I'm really really into the kinds of scenes that were depicted. xD

I think the way they drew Teto in the top left is so cool.... Her wings are ALSO another highlight of her and I love them and I love how the artist drew them.... Sharp and cool.... I also like that the author depicted this scene in general-- it's not the first thing my mind thinks of when I think of making fanart of the fic, but it's so good. Which reminds me...

The reason Teto doesn't let Miku come over to her place immediately is because even though Teto gets attached to Miku quickly in the first fic, that doesn't mean she's willing to let her in immediately. In fact, in my first attempt at writing this sequel, she ends up falling asleep WHILE Miku is there because Teto has been awake for a whole day and hasn't slept so she basically pulled an all-nighter listening to songs with Miku-- she was gonna get sleepy/tired eventually. Anyway, since Teto fell asleep in front of her and being asleep is basically when you're at your most vulnerable, when Teto woke up, she (the character) was REALLY freaking difficult about it, lol. It was like you ran out of trust coins with her and she resisted my every attempt to make her and Miku's friendship/relationship progress in any way. 😭 It was like "(dark/emo voice) I've shown you a moment of weakness, I can't let that happen ever again (*stands in the shadows dramatically*)" and I was like "omg Teto FINE I understand, I started the fic off wrong, I'll rewrite it 😭😭😭😭".

It's not like she lashes out at Miku or anything, she just straight up berates herself for falling asleep in the garbage dump (which, why would she do that anyway, she hates that place, even if Miku and the music make it a little more comfy), so she just got really distant/cold/short with Miku. Any attempt Miku made to get closer to her in any way would be swiftly shot down (without explanation too I think 'cuz she shouldn't have to explain her own boundaries and she doesn't like talking that much about herself), and it was way too awkward for me to continue without going "what kind of Mikuteto fic is this lmao" so I started over.

The spirit of that interaction isn't gone, ofc-- they're still the same characters. But I rewrote it to have Teto basically stay up even longer than she already was and I made sure that Miku was understanding and wasn't too pushy in any way. In other words, Teto probably still would've been resistant to Miku getting close to her anyway (since that's her character/personality), but Miku didn't push it, and Teto didn't accidentally reveal her vulnerable side before she was ready to (falling asleep in front of Miku). You might think Teto's overreacting a little bit but in the wild, falling asleep in front of the "enemy" is like a surefire way to get killed I think (in your sleep lol), so yeah, Teto trusts Miku, but only tentatively. Teto's trust issues are both valid and higher than usual because of all the things she saw/lived through (heck, humans are literally extinct and that's because they couldn't trust their world leaders or those around them or something, idk, lol). I love Teto because she's actually nice and she's doing her best but she's really been beaten down by the world which is why she's harsher/more high tension than Miku is.

We also have to remember that even if she's like a creature and some bats apparently eat rats, Teto is also humanoid and she DOESN'T like rats AT ALL. xD I don't remember if I mentioned this anywhere so I'll put it here, but Teto only eats because she has to, to live. xD She fukken hates rats but they're probably somewhat reliable to catch (we can talk about the actual state of the world and what lives in it later, after I myself flesh it out more lol), so she's basically forcing herself to eat them just so she won't die of starvation or be too weak to fly or anything. Since she's part-creature, I was thinking she only eats like once a week maybe, and that's enough for her to skate by on the bare minimum, but that also explains why she doesn't notice Miku immediately. The garbage dump is huge and she only visits when she's forced to since she hates the sight, smell, and everything of it.

Besides her lack of trust so far, the other reason Teto doesn't invite Miku to her place is 'cuz she literally doesn't expect the rain to magically appear so suddenly. I think the world probably goes entire weeks without rain, kind of like a desert, so Teto thought that that would continue and doesn't see the point of bringing Miku along when Teto can just bring things herself and NOT carry Miku instead. The nature of the world is, again, extreme weather, which I think includes "fast and drastic changes in weather" too. So, while Teto could've expected it, she doesn't anticipate it, so her reaction is probably literally like "what the hell is this timing" and a lot of cursing in her head as she's flying back to the garbage dump in the pouring rain. xD

When I write, I don't have everything planned out; instead, the characters/ideas come to me as I write and lead me along. So the reason I had things play out like that is 'cuz a voice in my head told me "their relationship will only progress with adversity lol" and there was a thunderstorm on the day I got the idea, including the sound of thunder, so I was like, "Oh!! Great idea!!!! Put them in a thunderstorm and watch what happens!!!" (Watch Teto panic lol.)

I got sidetracked from gushing about the fanart again but I also wanted to add that I like that Teto has a visible fang (in the bottom left) because I totally agree!! Girl definitely has sharp teeth/fangs... In fact, when I draw her ('cuz I hope to draw her more), I'll definitely be giving her a fang. I love those. 🥰🥰🥰

The Teto infodumping is not done (unfortunately? lol) and I hope that this is all implied/picked up from the fanfic instead of me just failing to convey that (I try to give as much info as needed but also I like it when people come to their own conclusions/fill the gaps in on their own, like why Teto acts the way she does and what she's been through [there's not THAT much substance tbh and if you dismiss her as a tsundere, that's also a totally acceptable read 'cuz she is one]), but yeah-- these are all MY feelings about her while I was writing her and as I continue to think about her.

Continuing, the thing I liked the most about "Rain" (my second fanfic) was the action parts lol. In the first fic, they mostly just talk and chill, which is cute and all, but I also like it when things happen/there's action, so I was delighted to give Miku the opportunity to just go for it. xD

The first part should be self-explanatory: Miku is a robot who has her eyes closed in the rain on top of a bunch of trash and is curled into a ball so it shouldn't be too surprising that Teto freaks tf out because Teto's under the impression she had a good/chance/one-of-a-kind encounter with Miku a day earlier and then she ruined it/Miku just fukken died so... After everything Teto's lost, Teto is not happy. Tbh thinking about it, she probably could've reacted more strongly too, but she's mostly still in shock/not accepting it so her first instinct is to just call out to Miku and pray. Teto's not good at expressing her emotions/herself anyway, so I think it's a good choice that I switched to Miku's POV for that bit, but this moment obviously sticks with her and you can see that in the very last scene of the fic (which I'll talk about in a second).

The second part (my favorite part really) is when Miku dives after the Walkman after it flies out of her hands and starts bouncing down the trash pile. Miku reacts immediately and catches it, but she starts to imitate the fan animation of Rolling Girl as she herself starts falling down the trash pile instead. Teto reacts like a second or two later, diving after her. I wanted to prepare a quick MS Paint visual to explain why Teto does not agree with Miku's life choices. xD

Anyway this is why Teto freaks tf out. xD It probably wouldn't have killed Miku since she'd hit stuff on the way down (how sturdy Miku is, we have yet to know) but Teto really did not enjoy seeing this and she was serious about it probably having the capability to give her a heart attack. I hope I conveyed that in the fic well-- a better artist or writer would probably be able to convey the sheer cinematic movie imagery of this scene in the thunderstorm/horrible weather. xD I'm just happy it's out there and Miku really proved that she's not all talk-- she WILL do what she says she will, so ultimately, she can be trusted. xD Thankfully Teto saves her before she can fall very far because Teto is a cool creature and I've always fawned over the creature in a creature x (non-)human pairing more than the human. (Miku is great though; they BOTH carry the story equally, I think, and they gotta, since it's THEIR story. xD)

Okay, some more words and then I'm done gushing. xD

The very last scene is also one of my favorites for obvious reasons, even though it's a tad bit embarrassing to read it back to myself. xD I was thinking that after the stress of the entire day and not sleeping, Teto finally falls asleep, and this time, she won't resist as much because she's learned more about Miku's devotion/dedication, which is kinda on par with a suicide bomber. 😅 Teto is now less worried about Miku suddenly betraying her/hurting her and more worried about Miku literally getting herself killed and hurting her that way, so I guess there's been a significant shift in mindset, lol. After only about two days, lmao; Teto's trust issues didn't go away or anything, but now she's probably really confused about how to deal with Miku so she's trying to learn. xD 😂😂 I think the best way to describe Miku is "willing to DIE for song" lmaoooooooooooooooo sorry wwwwww

Like, the steep drop is a steep drop, yeah, but I wonder if the reader picked up that if the Walkman had fallen into the ocean or something, Miku would've jumped after it too? That would really upset Teto too, hahahaha; I'm sorry, I won't do that wwwwwww. Teto will literally throw the Walkman into a pit of lava. I'm actually laughing just thinking about how different their reactions would be. xD

Okay, back to the end scene. xD Well, a little before that: I have Teto hug a pillow on her bed because I mainly wanted to show the part where she curls her tail around it. It is kinda like a body pillow, I will admit, and I was actually lowkey inspired by this very same artist's other picture (Mikuteto is so based, I love this image so much xD) but it's mainly the tail thing. xD Teto wraps her tail around the stuff she hugs and she's cute and not as edgy as her design implies (she's very cool though, I love her 💞) and yeah. The idea is to stir the imagination for later because I want her to hug Miku like that eventually too, with the tail around her and everything. But we're really far from such a scene and idk how to lead to it quite yet so it's for future Mikutetos. ( uwu )

The very last scene is a moment of vulnerability for Teto because 1. she's had a near heart attack twice and 2. she hasn't slept for approximately 20 hours I think? Which may not seem like a lot but bear in mind that she lives on the bare minimum, flew quite a lot in both fics, and she even carried Miku, so she's fukken tired. xD Singing and listening to music/singing finally calms her enough to knock her out, but then she remembers Miku diving off the side of the mountain and she wakes up in a panic. She hasn't had enough sleep though, which Miku correctly points out, so she's sleep-deprived and worried and nervous, so she's a lot more vulnerable than all her other appearances. I wonder if I could've conveyed this better by giving her like a wholeass monologue or nightmare or something, but I like to present things a lot and let people infer, so I won't be modifying my fic very much, just gushing about it by myself and thinking about everything I included in it. xD

ANYWAY, Teto isn't in her normal state for various reasons and that was how I figured out how to progress Mikuteto by a bit lol-- by making her kinda needy but of course she would rather die than say that out loud, so she acts very normally throughout her conversation with Miku. Actually, now that I think about it, we can probably apply this same format/logic to her first encounter with Miku in the rain. xD I find this Teto very very endearing, personally: she won't let you know what she's thinking about or feeling, so the outside and the inside are a very very different picture. I'm not romanticizing coldness or anything, of course-- rather, I'm most interested in finding out how Miku allows Teto to relax and be more honest and less guarded with her emotions as time passes, 'cuz Miku is a safe person to express herself to. 🥰🥰🥰

I think I finished fangirling about the setting (I'm not kidding when I say this fanart made me release the floodworks; I was always thinking all of this but I didn't want to shove it in people's faces because I didn't know how into it they are, LOOL. This is the perfect excuse for me to go wild and maybe I should do that in the first place, but I like letting people interpret, so I didn't want to get in the way of that by influencing them too hard. xD). There's not much else for me to spell out I think without insulting the reader's intelligence by this point, so I think that's all I can say about "Rain". I literally didn't think I'd get fanart and it makes me so happy for real; it's hard for me to gauge how much someone liked something unless they tell me and I was already immensely happy after the first kudos, so this is way more than I expected. I'm really really happy about it. 😭♥🙏 The Mktt fandom is small I think so we all lowkey know each other? But the people in it can be so kind; I'm really grateful to it. <3 I infodumped a whole lot more than I did for Song/the first fanart, but trust me, I still love the first fanart with all of my heart: I printed it as a poster and it's taped to my wall, lmfao. I treasure all fanart... You're too kind.... 😭

The very last thing I'll say is I think I'll give a tiny diagram of Teto's cave (so far) in case people want to visualize how I saw it in my head (you're absolutely welcome to make something better c:), and then I'll talk briefly about what I have in mind for future stuff (quick answer: I still need things to marinate in my mind but I'm absolutely willing to throw stuff at the wall and tackle it repeatedly and see what sticks c:).

(Subject to change if I come up with anything better!) Miku actually does sit farther away from Teto after Teto is asleep in her bed which helps explain why the chimera internally complains about it lol. Miku probably moved to avoid disturbing Teto lmao.

Okay, last thoughts! Writing a third one will be hard as hell because after establishing each chara's quirks and bond and whatnot, all that's left is the slowburn part of the romance. And yeah, it WILL be slow, because like I said in my author's notes before, Teto is stubborn and Miku is inexperienced. What would follow is various slice of life tidbits as they try to navigate the desolate world and learn new things, and I feel like it would be stronger if they DID encounter another creature, which helps Teto decide that "yeah, Miku is literally better than anyone else" lol. Teto IS smart and love is kinda the last thing on her mind, I'd say, but even if she did think she was feeling it, she'll immediately question if it's due to being so isolated for so long with barely any company and that's a really valid question imo. In other words, "do I think it's love because she's the only person I know and I'm lonely or would I still feel the same way if things were different, even if I don't think they will be?"

I feel like their whole relationship and the fic would be much stronger if those questions were answered, so while I could and wanted to make it Mikuteto only forever (since I think they'd always choose each other-- I'm biased), I still want them to explore their full potential idk. All I know is Teto WILL overthink it and that's just part of her charm, imo. xD Plus the nature of a tsundere is to deny, deny, deny until a thunderstorm almost takes her (Miku) away and damages her grievously, lmao.

I guess if anyone's curious about what I have in mind so far and actually read this far, what I do know for a fact is directly after this fic, Teto probably follows Miku around like some kinda guard dog/eagle, and since they're looking for more songs, Miku doesn't mind and enjoys the company as they search. Miku likes singing the songs she finds, which includes various love songs, and she wants to become more human-like, which helps her feel closer to her creators. (Plz tell me people picked up on the various references to how Miku is a voice synthesizer and how that influences her relationship with producers, or "humans", plsplspls.)

What I have in mind so far is Miku showing off her "sleep" function to Teto (basically just entering low power mode so she can "sleep" like Teto does) [Teto: "i dont want to see you look dead, why do you keep doing things that make you look dead 😭😭😭"], and Miku singing love songs while trying to understand what she's singing about. Teto is obviously Miku's guide to "human-ness" (even as a creachure lol), so Miku does ask her about love, but naturally Teto answers very awkwardly since she's not sure if she's a good consultant for this subject.

There's probably no question that Miku's going to be the one mainly leading the development instead of Teto as Miku learns more, so I think I just need Miku to learn a looot. xD They can probably achieve this by finding books or movies or something that weren't damaged by the harsh weather. Any buildings left? Hmm....

I've been yapping for about 2 hours now I think but I'm really happy to do so... This is fukken why Twitter suspended me I bet btw, because I don't shut up about the things I'm passionate about, but I didn't even tweet that much so 💢💢💢💢💢😠😠😠😡. Shouldn't spam be like 50-100 tweets a day or something?? I only get spammy very infrequently and then it's like a fraction of that I think, but either I'm underestimating myself or the functionality of the site after a certain someone took over. I hope it's restored and idk how long it'll take thanks to the site sucking, but at least there's a Teto waiting for me in like two weeks so whatever happens, I'll begrudgingly accept. xD

Fanart makes me extremely happy and sure, I want to mainly do things for myself, but seeing someone else like or care about something I made seriously fills me with joy. xD I do feel validated enough to write something as long as this (pls dont mark me as spam, DAMN), but yeah! Mktt fandom is small right now but I hope it grows-- that way I'm not the only one here trying to make as much stuff as possible for them because I love them. xD Then I also know you like my stuff because you genuinely like it and not 'cuz it's your only option/you're starved for content. xD

Thanks to anyone who read all of this and I'm really delighted about the love my random fics/AU got. It really was unplanned for real but Miku and Teto are so good and I've been thoroughly enjoying portraying them in my fic, if that doesn't show from how much I've written just now. xD

I'm not a "content creator", just a really passionate fan, so I want to make Mikuteto stuff whether I get 0 fanart or 0 kudos or what. (My heart will sink a little if I get 0 kudos but it's mainly because I don't want to be the only Mktt-liker and I hope at least ONE person likes it, I try very hard on my stuff lol), but yeah... Enough yapping now. I'm still passionate about these two but I'm trying not to turn my blog into a text-only thing: I'm gonna draw/make more for sure, but fanfic-wise, it will take time.

Negidrill fukken rocks, so damn it,,, damn,,, give me my fukken Negidrill account back 😭. Punished for loving too much, smh. I could talk about why they mean so much to me, but the most obvious reason is they're awesome, so I'll keep loving them. I hope people make more, and I'll keep going too.... I'm just gonna check the word count of this real quick.

4936 words. Yeah, see? This is basically a follow-up to my fic, lmfao.

That's it from me now for real. I need to do lots of stuff. 😭

[icharchivist]

God, if I can't relate to the "If I don't do this thing right now I'll explode, sleep who?" though

Congrats on the rare find! Did you end up making that collage though?

MOOD RIGHT???

like it happens often to me too, i often stay awake because i can't drop something, or like when a video games really captivate me i wake up early to play it (which, knowing me, is rare, i love to sleep a lot). And when i'm really excited about it i really can have a sleep full of unrest an weird sleep and everything.

But that One Time i had Fever dreams about the items i found and didn't buy bc i was like, nah, idk if i'm enough into the character to buy it, and then i spent the whole night frantic dreaming about it, woke up 5 times, each time going "i need to grab it right now what have i done ignoring it", getting out of bed, reaching out for my clothes, and it's only while doing so that i was suddenly awake enough to realize what i was doing and that it still was the middle of the night. And it happened 5 times in the same night.

I ended up waking up one hour before the store opened, tried to keep myself cooled down as i was waiting for it to open, and legit came back at the opening hours to grab it because screw this bullshit.

(and then turns out i absolutely loved what i bought, so much so something related to it is my wallpaper on my phone for the past few months now)

I've had unrest because i couldn't do something, tonight was one of them and it made me go with this insane plan -- but that one time it really was a whole other level it still haunts me.

ANYWAY thank you very much for the congratz and message!

i haven't made the collage yet, though, i need to print the pages for now before moving on and i need to answers a few things in my inbox first. and lovingly hold my new find for a bit.

I'll definitely get down to make my collage hoping my printer can survive it. Somehow it became the least urgent thing on my list rn. wild huh?

Thanks for the message and congratz anon <33

[aquarianlights]

Did you ever do the DNA test on Echo?

No, as I don't have enough for an Embark. 😭 I have been DYING to do it. So badly. Moreso now than I ever have been... Since all these health problems arose and his 10th birthday is on the 17th, it makes me scared I will never get the $ to get an embark before he dies & I don't think it's possible to test after death. All I would have is his ashes, paw print stamp and some fur anyways. Kinda hoping to get a canine tooth of his or maybe both, but idk if I'm gonna genuinely do that yet. All I know FOR SURE is want some tail fur, feet fur and ear fur, a paw print stamp and his ashes. I'd LIKE a canine tooth & a nose print stamp, but it's okay if that doesn't happen.

I want to send the embark in without a picture and without telling them any breeds so there's no chance for bias at all.

Embark is the most accurate out of everything out there, but like with every other DNA kit it only goes back 3 generations. So if he does BY SOME MIRACLE come back 100% pomeranian, I'd be SHOCKED coz that means the mix was further back than three gens and probably WAY further back considering the phenotypes of his littermates and the dam and sire.

I am betting there is Mittelspitz mixed in, but that would be so odd unless his line is an import. Coz it is EXTREMELY difficult to get a Mittelspitz in the US. There are only a couple breeders in the whole country and the Mittelspitz community in America is VERY tight knit. Mittelspitz usually come to America via imports as they are not typically seen in the US naturally or by breeding. The breeding that is happening is only preservation breeding because the community is that small. There's no bybs in Mittelspitz that I know of in America and I have heard breeders outside the US are very selective of what Americans they will sell their dogs to. So it'd be SUPER odd for him to have Mittelspitz mixed in but it's the only thing that makes sense to me. He is the size. His coat texture, colouring and markings are more Mittelspitz than pom. His conformation is much more Mittelspitz. But his temperament and biddability is Pomeranian to a t.

I only know so much about Mittelspitz coz I want to get into them SO badly coz after having Echo, who is 20 lbs at a healthy pet weight, I just don't want to get a pom-sized dog. They're so tiny. And I LOVE that. At least, I DID. But after experiencing a spitz that is 20 lbs, give or take, I have found my perfect size. And finding out what he is mixed with could help me figure out what purebred to look into next. I normally wouldn't stray out of spitzes unless it was a papillion, but if he is mixed with something non-spitz, that would make me pause and look at that breed for a few years to see what they're like to see if I should add them to the list.

Most of all, I am just sad that he is turning 10 and I haven't been able to do it yet. :/ Ik a lot of furmoms always say stuff like, "I don't care what he is! I love him so it doesn't matter! He is loved so that's what is best!" as if they are personally offended, implying that people who DNA test their supposed purebreds don't love them, but I just don't understand that POV coz it's quite the opposite for me.

Knowing what breeds he is will help me with understanding him better regarding his body language and verbal signals, it will help me with his training and will help me develop a deeper bond with him.

Just because my dog is byb/not well bred and I want to find out what is in him doesn't change how I feel about him or how much I love him. It never would. If it did, it would only make me love him more as I would be able to understand him on a much deeper level. So I just don't understand why furmoms get *so* offended when DNA tests get brought up.

Anyways uh...

I know that was a yes or no question. Sorry... if you have me as a friend on fb or knew me in my early tumblr days, then you know how verbose and tangent-orientdd I am lol. 🤦🏼 Someone could say "hi" and I'd write 5 paragraphs lmao.

Ik you didn't come here to hear me ramble on about my dogs phenotype and his pedigree and so on and so forth so uh...

TL;DR: No. 😅