#so it doesn't need to eat and can't talk
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Nightcat likes to do a lot of murder :D
#It comes from arena mode#so it doesn't need to eat and can't talk#and only knows violence :D#my art#art#slugcat#slugcat rainworld#rainworld slugcat#rain world#rw#rw nightcat#tw blood#blood#rw vulture#rw cyan lizard#rw lizard
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Mithrun being a mostly autonomous disabled person with caretakers is incredibly important to me, building up routine habits in order to "fully function" while also still requiring help is so real tbh
#I too have a caregiver even though I'm considered somewhat functional#I think people under estimate the amount of help people with certain disabilities need even if they're not fully visible#mithrun being capable of walking talking and being a leader while still having people around him who will remind him to eat or sleep#keeping him safe when breaking down#help him get dressed in the morning when he can't be bothered to remember how to do it himself#that is incredibly real to me#anyway I hope this post doesn't get destroyed#dmd tag#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#mithrun#these are thoughts I shared with my bestie so shout out to sky for that
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I've been painting my walls for the past 6? hours ? and i think the smell has been burned in my brain 😷
#NOT having a great time tbh but at least i am DONE#there's one more that needs to be painted but it's very small and only like half of it anyways#Big Wall is done and looks pretty ✌️ my arms are hurted#also i forgot to eat lmao i'm lowkey starving#mushroom pasta and anime time save me. save me mushroom pasta and anime time#silly afterthought but it's actually kinda nice to share these random stuff cus i feel like i actually did something#hacking my dopamine system or whatever#also i miss Vessel 🥺. which really has absolutely nothing to do with anything but that's just how i feel rn#thinking about the character.... free and fun and very cool 👍#i bet that Long Mf doesn't need the extra paint roll stick thingy. he can just. reach the wall. bastard. 🥺#anyways. my nails have been looking super gross for days and i can't paint them because they'll just get ruined anyways#so my hands are just. raw. plain. boring. not cool bro#darya talks to herself
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what i need is a link to admin at the mercury and admin at the wnba. set me up a special account so i can see all the old videos from the old website. and get me a computer with all 19000+ minutes of dt games and a strong video editor. really i'd like all the old footage too.
#it's devastating bc i'm trying to find the full presser from the 2007 finals when dt says is a smack in the face not the same as a punch#but also what i want to do is clip every single dt assist and almost assist into what has to be like a 5 hour video#and then of course all the baskets#but i did the math and if you're watching film for 8 hours a day it would take like 161 days to watch all her wnba games#like i said yesterday i was watching a handful of games and her passes ..really we don't talk about the act of passing the ball enough#i would like to watch other old games too like the comets 97-2000#now my hope is that it doesn't happen this year but when it does happen [and i have a list]#mat should pay her like 1.5 million/year to consult for the org . which might mean doing nothing but show up at occasional games#and i know she doesn't want to coach or gm but i think she would be so good at roster creation recruitment and draft day decisions#like i said i have a list but i'm not going to put it out until it needs to be put out#i want to watch every game that cheryl miller coached#but that you can't watch candace parker's rookie season#or anything from LJ#or any comets games#or postseason prior to 2015#it's so disrespectful to not have them available#you could sell box sets of seasons by team and charge like 20 bucks per each and i'd eat them up#or full seasons of games#it is so concerning from the archival side that so much footage only lives publicly on these old youtube accounts from 12 15 17 years ago#and the best we can do is hope nothing gets deleted
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The Ishimarus *sighs and hides face in pillow*
Oughhhh
#sam's talky talks#Takaaki starving himself just for Taka to eat more :(#Then Taka ends up starving too because he doesn't feel worth it to eat any food his father gives him#Takaaki just feels like a shitty dad for keeping Taka in the dump that they call a home and being an Ishimaru#Why couldn't Taka not be an Ishimaru? Why was he born his son? He didn't deserve this life and be dirt like the rest of their family#Kiyotaka feels the need to pressure himself just so that he can reach his goals. Pushing himself to the brink of collapsing#They both push themselves to the brink of collapsing#But Takaaki is a hypocrite and tries to get Kiyotaka to give himself a break when Takaaki can't even do that himself#He's not allowed to take breaks. Even when he gets a once in a blue moon break from work he's still not taking a break#I just. I feel like they have parallels in how they are. Then again Takaaki is said to have the same personality as Taka SOOOOO#danganronpa#kiyotaka ishimaru#takaaki ishimaru
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sorry to disappoint the people who are concerned about my alcohol consumption but unfortunately I might need to have a bottle of glühwein and some ice cream for dinner today and if anyone gets on my case about it I'll mcfreaking lose it
#due to the circumstances#sorry i keep posting about this but i can't talk to anyone about it irl so#less than two hours until we need to leave for the vet#my sweet baby boy. i wish i could give him a lil treat for his last meal but he doesn't eat#rayrambles
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🧟♀️ <- me rn
#vent in tags#sort of?#i'm sick + my period is coming soon + it's tech week#also every time this specific friend talks abt food it makes me feels so uncomfortable#she'll talk abt the amt of sugar/calories in smth someone else is having#she doesn't mean it meanly yk but she's js bragging abt her knowledge#but it makes me feel like shit#even if i'm not eating it#because i feel like compared to her i eat way too much#(i have 3 well rounded meals a day 😭 and sweet treats obvi)#but it's like i'm alr insecure rn cz i'm bloated#& i haven't been exercising enough so i feel a little guilty abt thatttt#idk i js wish i could have the perfect weight distribution but i know my eating habits are ok bc i need to be healthy#but sometimes i js make myself feel sick#and every time she's like “only had one meal yesterday ✌️” i feel so ugly#idk if she's bragging or js being awkward#but i can't stand it
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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feeling it a little tonight
#:<#itd be so nice pleaseee#houghhhhhhhguhg theyre sosilly theyre such sily guys#like no we dont't need more animals in our house. so they say. but i WANT more#but also (and this is very dumb ik) if they actually get a cat then when i live on campus it'll like.#grow close to everybody without me :((#i don't want this cat to exclude me from the family grouppuhhhh#it's not gonna happen until one of our dogs in particular carks it which is too too scary to think about#you can't make me so like. yeah. but i wanna cat sooooo BADDDD#we dont have to wait we could just. train izzy not to eat them (<- aware that that is very dubious at best)#guhhhhhhhhh moping moping sulk sulk sulk#my family's talked a little about getting a maine coon if it doesn't set off my mom's allergies bc she also wants a cat#but i'd have to wait for probably a year after my elderly dogs die (mourning period) AND THATS TOO LONGGG#that's too long if it starts TOMORROW and i don't exactly want my dogs to die any time soon y'know#hrnghhhhguyhhhhhghh but i wanna cat so baddddd#it's all rascal's fault that little goober. waufhhh i miss him#thyre so silly theyre so sillyyyy. bawling howling throwing just the lamest saddest tantrum rn (<- looks like this :| atm)#like my dogs dying would actually destroy me im not joking at all but it would be easier if there was a cat there#i get the mourning period tradition but it makes everything feel so much emptier#i feel like it exaggerates the worst parts of the grieving process. but thats just me ig
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I can see how the regional phenomena in totk is basically totk's version of a modern 4 horsemen of the apocalypse: pollution (the sludge), addiction (marbled rock roast), climate change (the extreme blizzard; admittedly this one is a bit of a stretch), and pestilence/infectious disease (the giant mosquito boss and the undead gibdo). Which, hey, references to real life issues, great, but what I didn't like so much was how you can just solve puzzles and fight bosses--basically have a handful of big name heroes running around doing tasks--and the water will magically clear up, the addicts will magically become normal people again, the extreme storms will magically dissipate, and the pestilence will magically disappear. Real life does not work that way. I know, I know, it's a game why you taking it so seriously blah blah, but I'm just saying, we have to remember that for any of these problems to be solved, it takes a lot of effort and cooperation from a lot of people to accomplish, and that's definitely an understatement.
#totk spoilers#:P#i haven't played many other zelda games so i can't say#but botw and totk are basically the Great Man Theory#aka 'we only need a few big heroes to save the day and nobody else's input is worth much'#maybe I'm too nitpicky or maybe I'm too old to suspend my disbelief entirely#something about that just doesn't quite sit right with me :P#doesn't mean the game is bad but just my thoughts#and let me add that genshin is also kind of a Great Man Theory sort of game on the surface#but in genshin the story itself actually does challenge that idea in many different places#whereas in botw and totk nothing about that logic is even questioned#you are expected to just accept that 'oh the hero defeated the bad guys and now the problems magically went away'#and since we are talking about real life issues this approach is honestly incredibly lazy#basically the same as 'if everyone can drive less (aka be a hero!) then we can reduce emissions and save the environment!'#while completely ignoring how driving is basically essential to life in the greatest country on earth (tm)#bc of urban planning lack of effective public transportation systems and lobbyists#it's a systemic problem and it's not going to be solved by being heroes or eating the rich#in conclusion: if you want to put real life issues in your game please don't be lazy with it#and if you want the traditional hero vs big bad thing then please stay away from real life issues#this is part of the reason why botw is better than totk
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT
#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background..#literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start#to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me#when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and#then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such#and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more#negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed#out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail....#also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don'#want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working#there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had#tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard#rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r#doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's#why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME#ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda#long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to#your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if#you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve#that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint.#anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴#ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :(((((((((((#r.txt
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Wait so does Oct know that Jed has autism or no?
i guess he doesn't, but neither does jed. i don't think jed's diagnosed or has done much research into autism, he just knows he has certain needs and triggers and a different worldview to a lot of people. he's got a good solid support network and a job that works well for his lifestyle and mental health and he's pretty happy with where he's at with that kind of thing. he does have moments where he goes non verbal but again, he's used to this and so are his friends and he knows how to cope with it and it's not a big deal to him. octavius isn't really written to be autistic (though its kind of impossible for me to write someone who isn't because i am autistic myself) but he does have his own fair share of experience with anxiety and feeling overwhelmed in social situations so he really doesn't see jed as particularly different to himself. of course he does come to recognise and understand and accommodate for jed's specific needs, but i think he relates to him so much that he wouldn't really notice something like that
#once they get together and are well established octavius just rolls with whatever jed wants or needs#he's like yeah no jed doesn't like this texture we're not doing that. we're not going here jed said the Vibe Is Off#jed is like i can't talk today can we just sit in bed and eat pasta. octavius is like your wish is my command good sir#there are so many older men especially who are autistic and undiagnosed and just kind of like. chilling if that makes sense#jed in this fic is a very specific kind of autistic rep that ive always wanted and have never seen before but im bad at explaining it#i definitely want to explore it more in the fic if i get the chance. feel free to ask anything else about autistic jed <3#down then left
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Idk maybe it's fine to accept Sada and Turo are just really shitty parents who neglected and abandoned Arven instead of pulling the shortest straws in an attempt to make them seem like they were just sad workaholics who got too caught up in their work like a bad hallmark movie
#like honestly seeing the straws pulled on my dashboard is like...really?#'oh they had two pictures of him!!' they had a picture of him as a toddler and the other was of his dog#by a cabinet full of their trophies and a messy eating area btw not by their bed#'oh well ai said-' ai literally felt so bad for that kid that they felt like they had to make him feel loved by them#and even arven knew it was bullshit and told them to stop#'oh well-' he's referred to as ''the boy'' in their PERSONAL journals that right there shows they don't love him#arven having basic necessities doesn't mean they loved him it's that they knew how to make sure he didn't starve to death#he literally learned how to cook BECAUSE they weren't there so they even failed on that part#you can't say you love your child just because you give them food and clothes and a place to sleep that's REQUIRED of a parent#like wow they have ONE WHOLE PICTURE of arven when he was like 6 they must love him so much /s#literally arven is so traumatized by how he was neglected and abandoned why are excuses being made for his adult parents#i think it really reflects how some people who turned to pokemon as an escape see their own relationship with their parents#because yeah i def know what that's like to be given basic care and not the emotional parts of parenting#and it means people have to confront some shit that's pretty heavy#listen you having basic things like a place to sleep clothes and food doesn't mean you were loved#if your parents were constantly absent/only saw you when they wanted something/always talked about work/were never there for you/etc-#then that's something you gotta talk to your therapist about#treating your kid like a pet store fish isn't love and arven was treated like a pet store fish#people gotta realize that if you feel the need to make excuses for his parents what excuses you're making for your own or other parents#because damn realizing that stuff hits like a brick#this is a rant because arven's issues hit really hard with me playing through the game#and it's big bruh moment seeing people trying to take copium for sada and turo#they're shitty parents end of story#like it's not rocket science tbh but damn therapy is a thing some people need for how far you're reaching for some love between them all#there wasn't and there's not. the two pictures aren't 'evidence' of love#just like damn#rosebud posting 💐#pokemon#pokemon sv spoilers
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Mmmmmm it's very tricky trying to communicate with my neighbour. We visit each other occasionally but she:
Does not speak English or French or Irish - the languages I can make myself understood in.
Does not speak any language I can find decent resources on learning
Speaks only Sorani Kurdish, a language which Google translate does not have a, u know, robo speaky voice for. A language no online translator seems to give pronunciation guides for.
Cannot READ Sorani Kurdish nor English. I thought translate & reading would be our solution but this is not so.
There are no great sorani resources available online. Nothing with a pronuniciation guide or audio that I can find.
If u have any ideas pls let me know cause I am ALL OUT.
#Considering bringing a puzzle next time but like. I don't want to just leave her with a puzzle either?#She keeps leaving us delicious food into our house and she doesn't eat anything we bring her because health? ?? Reasons#Hard to know why exactly! Language barrier! Does she have allergies? Is she not sure what's in it and therefore not wanna try?#Regardless! I can't even talk in food. Also I feel like I have obtained a new grandmother and wanna be able to at least say things like#I will be away for a few weeks or do you need any shopping from town or can I change that smoke alarm battery or. Good morning.#We do a bit of pointing at things and saying the words. I know tea coffee and sugar now.#Frustrachas#Me Fein#She will sometimes phone a child or grandchild to translate. One time she brought her granddaughter round and that was helpful#But she doesn't have family who live in town so it's very aaaaaaaaaaaarghh#Sorani#Sorani Kurdish#Just in case. I guess.
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...
#just turning over the idea of executive functioning issues in my head part by part. impulse control. im extremely tightly controlled. im the#best at control. the only times im impulsive is when someone asks me something and my brain doesn't work well in the moment so i tend to b#like fuck it: says something that might fuck me over later bc im like whatever itll prob b fine lol. but mostly not an issue. emotional#control. i dont lash out at ppl except myself i guess. ill sometimes have freak out meltdowns bc i get so frustrated with myself plus mood#weirdness. so not great. flexible thinking. im pretty rigid. if plans randomly change theres like a 1 in 3 chance ill freak out and start#crying and it takes me a long time to adjust to the idea that i have to chsnge something. and things tend to have to b a certain way#not for any reason in particular. thats just how it has to b. i have to eat the same foods. operate at the same times. do thr same things.#thats just how it is. and i find it difficult in social situations to adapt to the flow of convention bc its like but we're talking abt thi#now but something just interrupted and we aren't going abck to that thing. i dont make it other ppls problem but its uncomfortable for me.#working memory. my memory is pretty fucked. self monitoring. im good at that. too good. im pathologically self reflective. planning &#prioritizing. i can plan but i cant prioritize for shit. i will spiral for hours doing nothing bc i can't decide what comes 1st.#task initation. im good at torturing myself into getting things done but i anxiously avoid a lot of things but once i start its like: im in#this mode now. no i cant fucking stop i need this to b done. i need to sit here and finish it otherwise i wont come back to it. i cant do#moderation its all or nothing. all school and nothing outside of that. cant send mail. cant clean sink. i see it and kno i need to do it an#then i just walk away from the disaster area. organization. is ok. it looks a disaster but i only exist in like 3 places so i dont lose#things often but i dont remember where i put things once i put them down i have to deduce where i would have put it. does that paint the#picture of executive functioning issues or rigid and restrictive compulsive behavior paired with self destructive impulses leading to#absolute mental exhaustion which is y things arent getting done? could b either or both. idk my ability to do things 95% of the way and wal#away leaving a mess that ill never come back to strikes me more as the former but what do i#still its worth considering bc i do have an amazing to control myself in a way that's completely out of my control. maybr my start/stop#switch is just fucked idk. slow down and reorient says my counselor u never stop to rest. shes right but also im a grad student stopping#would mean death u gotta keep swimming and doing more than u should. thats how it is#but im so tired and i only get more and more tired. so somethings gotta give eventually#unrelated#i forgot focus. my focus is good sometimes and sometimes my brain is moving too fast and i cant focus at all. its static#but focus is not a thing i cna control
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