#Takaaki starving himself just for Taka to eat more :(

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The Ishimarus *sighs and hides face in pillow*

Oughhhh

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What are your Takaai headcanons? :D

Sorry if these get angsty, I love angst too much

Well. My main one is that he's transmasc. (Prob, mostly projecting.) His wife was also trans and they were a cute t4t couple (and childhood best friends.)

Takaaki starved himself just so Taka could eat more. It became a really bad habit and it took a huge toll on his health, but he'd do it for his boy. His boy deserved to have more to eat over him. (He'll just survive off of coffee, cigarettes and whatever small thing he can maybe force down his throat. He honestly struggles to take care of himself after a while.)

Takaaki has the same twisted humor as Taka. (It's where Taka gets it from most DEFINITELY.)

Takaaki wears gray contacts to cover his red eyes because they remind him of Toranosuke.

He's secretly codependent on Taka because without Taka he can't really have much reason to live. (*looks over at canon*) He doesn't mean to be, but he really can't find any other reasons to want to be around anymore. Especially after all the bullshit he's gone through. You get a little fucked up in the head when your dad has been nothing but the reason you feel worthless in life and your entire life has gone down the shitter. (That man can't be sane.)

HE'S SUCH A FUCKING SLUT

And uhhh. That's all I got rn. I definitely have more but my memory is bad. :3

I have other headcanons probably floating around on my blog if you wanna know more.

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Takaaki and Taka angst

Based on a conversation I'm having with @artz16. But more angsty because I hate myself.

《~~~~~》 Takaaki stared down at Taka who was just sitting at the table he was seated in. He sat across from him. "Taka, Kid. Can you please eat?" Takaaki requested of his son. Kiyotaka just looked up at his father, the same expression of horror still on his face. He didn't respond.

"Taka…" Takaaki repeated, he slightly pushed one of the many plates on the table to his son. "Eat. Come on, you haven't eaten in a while, you need something!" Takaaki told him. Kiyotaka looked at the plate of food. His expression got worse, as if he was afraid of it.

What the HELL did they do to him?!

He heard about what happened to that Mondo boy…could…that have been the reason?

Takaaki sighed and sat next to his son. "Taka, open." Takaaki grabbed a spoon and scouped up the food on the plate and moved it to Kiyotaka's mouth. "Open your mouth. Now." Takaaki demanded of his son. But Kiyotaka defied him.

Takaaki's brows furrowed.

"Taka, open!" He remembered when he used to do this. Back when Kiyotaka was just a little boy. His mother was at work while he took care of Kiyotaka. They'd switch around their days of work and taking care of their son everyday. And today was his day. "Taka." Takaaki repeated, grinning at his son. The little boy watched the spoon in his father's hand move around. "Open up, please!" Takaaki requested again.

The two just stared in silence. Kiyotaka started giggling when the spoon hit his lips as he didn't open them. Takaaki started to laugh as well, "Taka, please. The train needs to go to the station." Takaaki said through his laughter. Kiyotaka finally opened his mouth and ate his food. "Yay!"

Those memories were far now.

"Kiyotaka. Please." Takaaki repeated as he tried to get Kiyotaka to open his mouth. He was getting frustrated. But he also felt absolutely pained, tears threatened to fall down from his eyes. But he held them in. "Taka…please. Please, just do this for me! That's all I ask…Taka!" Takaaki pleaded.

Kiyotaka remained silent.

"Please, Taka…"

Silence.

"Taka."

Silence.

Takaaki tried to force his son's mouth open but Kiyotaka just screamed and squirmed. He was acting like a child! "Kiyotaka, this is for your health! Open your goddamn mouth, now!" Takaaki yelled.

Kiyotaka just continued to try and move away and grab onto Takaaki's hand to remove it from his mouth. "Please, Son! What would Mondo think?! Please! For him. He wouldn't want you to starve, wouldn't he?" Takaaki asked his son. Maybe…maybe that would work.

Kiyotaka blankly stared at him.

Mondo Owada, his best friend. He had killed a poor boy and gotten himself killed as punishment. Kiyotaka had been distraught. He stopped eating and sleeping altogether. He met Alter Ego, an AI created by the boy Mondo killed. It cave him motivation, a will to live again as it made him believe full well that Mondo lived in him. That they were together, a part of one another.

Creating Kiyondo Ishida.

But soon enough, Kiyotaka had just given up on Kiyondo after some talking to. And here they were. Back to him being Kiyotaka. All the motivation he had was completely taken from him and he refused to eat and sleep again. The memories of Mondo were far too great.

And…

Maybe using Mondo as a form of motivation could help him again! To help him feel better!

Takaaki could only hope.

"Please? For Mondo?" Takaaki requested with a sad smile. Kiyotaka continued to blankly stare at his father. Then, slowly, he opened his mouth a bit. It was a start! Takaaki put the spoon in his mouth and Kiyotaka ate the spoonful of food. "There we go! See?" Takaaki pat his son's raven hair that had a remaining white streak of Kiyondo.

Kiyotaka didn't respond.

Takaaki sighed softly and continued to feed his son.

It pained him greatly to see his son this way. It hurt. It hurt so much. He wanted to cry at this. His poor boy. The only person that mattered to him was just reduced to nothing but a body full of great "Despair." Believing that his friend had been put into his meals for some cruel and sick torment.

"Taka, you're going to be okay. I promise. Nobody is going to try and do anything awful. Okay? Just keep living for everyone." Takaaki said with a slight smile. Kiyotaka didn't respond, just merely looked slightly up at him. Then back down to whatever he had been looking at as he continued to be fed by his father.

Takaaki just silently watch his son eat. Every single second was torture for him. They just couldn't catch a break. Just…they needed one fucking break.

A break.

Kiyotaka finished eating all the plates of food. "Alright. Now that you're done, let's get you back to your room. Okay? Let me get your wheelchair…" Takaaki got up and grabbed the chair and helped Taka in it. It wasn't fair. His boy was so weak he could barely walk himself. His body was too empty and had lack of sleep. Takaaki took Kiyotaka to his room, gripping tightly at the handles. He bit his lip hard, trying to keep his tears in. They priced the corners of his eyes, but he didn't let them fall.

"You're going to need to nap. I'm going to help you, along with the nurses. Okay?" Takaaki told his son. His son slightly nodded. He really wanted to cry. "I…I love you, Taka. I love you so much. I'm so proud of you and your success through life. And I'm proud to be your father. And I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, Taka." Takaaki heard his voice break, but he did not cry.

He wasn't going to show vulnerability. Not right now. His son didn't need to see that.

《~~~~》

Takaaki does end up crying, but he's by himself when he does because he can't let anyone see his grief. He just misses his son and his son being okay.