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#so im always having a headache
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happy halloween! hope everyone watched a scary movie that'll keep you up tonight but was nonetheless enjoyable! i sure did!
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coolnonsenseworld · 1 year
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I wanted to say that outside of semantics and divisions - I am simply happy to find communities that welcome with kindness - that welcome you by a good heart and not the ability to conform. I am happy for the opportunity to be surrounded by people who care. It's a funny world we live in - making the same mistakes over and over, multiplying the same suffering by billions. I don't think I hope for an utopia anymore, I don't think such a thing exists - but you can't call me hopeless either. And that's what matters.
As a side note - this piece is set in DanceAU, which might be better known to Patrons so far, but still it was the best and most fitting option for this occasion..... also there are 12 DanceAU pieces incoming, because I might be making another calendar so. get familiar with these mutts
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robinfollies · 10 months
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me and the guy i pulled by accidentally implying i like jazz music
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moeblob · 6 months
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Ohiwe (lady) and Ohime (man) aka the fire deity after they get punished.
Originally just "Oh", the fire deity had a bit too much fun with punishing humans and so in a means to stop them, the elder gods split them into two. So now they have to be together in order to have their "full" power but as before the split, they get restless and like to wander. So while one stays in their city, the other gets to go out and travel and see the world and check on the other deities.
Also, as a whole/singular being Oh would use they/them. After the split however, it's definitely not the same and so Ohiwe likes using female pronouns and Ohime uses male pronouns. That way when discussed as one, it's back to they. That feels best for them.
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.
#bpd#like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular#and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache#my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T#but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person#or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me#like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down#and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and#saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that#or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment#like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel#but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no#what i *want*. bc what i desire is love#but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions#idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry ����#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support#and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me#there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay#and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else#i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this#i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone#and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other
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mamawasatesttube · 8 months
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what if i say fuck it and post the first chapter of the Kon Agonies fic today. i have the power
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puppyeared · 8 months
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i am playing professor layton and the curious village on my ds. very fun!!!
I don't know if i'm very far in because most of the time spent in that game was me being confused and bad at puzzles. it's fun though.
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!!! im glad to hear youre enjoying it!! its one of my fav titles and honestly such an underrated series, id love it if more ppl gave it a try!
the puzzles can be difficult but very rewarding!! i used to dread them as a kid but now i find them nice and challenging. the math ones are still hard, but if u speak to Flick at the cafe he'll give you chess puzzles which i think were my favorite ^_^
#its nice because its story driven but gives u enough room to do the puzzles on your own to make progress.. and the rewards like#the gizmos painting pieces and furniture for the minigames are also a nice bonus because it gives u a little extra incentive to solve as#many puzzles as possible!! ngl i didnt know how the hotel room minigame worked but i had fun completing the painting and robot dog#plus the variety and the fact that u dont know which puzzles youre gonna get makes it interesting. and theres no harm if u cant finish or#end up missing some because you can find them in the riddle shack or just do a different one instead and its fine. very cool#i have dyscalculia so the math ones have always been hard for me and id need my brothers help so we'd work on it together#or i'd just search up the answer as a last resort............#actually im gonna save u the trouble. if u get the camera case puzzle the answer is 95. ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW BUT ITS 95#it took me like 2 hours with my brother just to figure that out and i dont want anyone to get a headache from that one ITS FRUSTRATING#ive only played curious village and pandoras box bc its the only ones i had as a kid. replaying pandoras box rn actually!!!#i have cracked versions of unwound future and azran legacy which come after CV and PB BUT my version of unwound future is broken#it freezes on the opening cutscene every time i try to play it which SUCKS bc i really wanna play the games in order. maybe ill emulate it#professor layton#ask#answered#yapping#doodles
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aerodaltonimperial · 2 months
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I'm really not used to people paying attention to me, I just sort of lost most of my wrestle fandom friends in the past year or so, and I guess I just want to say hi? Thanks for being here? I've gotten more followers in the past week than I've gotten in several months. 💚
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chilope · 1 month
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absolutely insane how many of my random spontaneous symptoms are attributable to migraines
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deathfavor · 3 months
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Like the previous years, this is going under the read more or its the only thing that would be on anyone's dash ( and really, what else could you want to read?? ) but these two are eternally precious and deserve all the spotlight
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@yeonban​​ said: One more year has passed, perhaps the hardest in Hi no Moto's history and certainly one neither of them had quite expected to survive, yet the rays of a new dawn shine on them and against all odds signal a second birthday they can spend together. Whereas only one year ago Soma had obliviously commemorated Seiroku's birthday while completely unaware of his true identity, he is now consciously celebrating the day regardless of the bloody trail it has left on the bushi world at large. Although his existence may have heralded doom and tragedy for the majority of the bushi; for Soma, and for the Date as well, Seiroku has been nothing short of a blessing.
A low hum leaves Soma at the thought, little consideration spared for his unfortunate childhood friends, and crimson eyes glance down at the sleeping figure in his arms when it begins to stir awake, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he leans down to kiss the top of Seiroku's head in greeting. ❛ Good morning, ❜ Rather than give him space though, the red soul adjusts his position to gently press his forehead against Seiroku's, taking advantage of his sleepiness to burn this memory into his brain with each of its minuscule details. But even so, no matter how many times he's already had the opportunity to admire his beloved's beauty and no matter how perfect his memory might be; the sight in front of him always finds a way to portray Seiroku as even more beautiful than he can remember; a quite a commendable feat indeed when the one in front of him isn't even trying in this half-awake state.
❛ Slept well? ❜ The words are whispered softly enough to not irritate Seiroku's ears first thing in the morning, and Soma waits patiently, fondly staring at the yellow soul throughout his waking process before giving him a proper kiss. ❛ Any plans for today? ❜ Unlike last year, there is nothing urgent or monumental to attend to this time around, as had been the band-wide birthday cheer back then. Or at least, so should Seiroku be led to think. ❛ If not, do you want to come with me? There's something I haven't had the chance to show you yet. ❜ A carefully picked set of words, ones that don't imply a birthday gift, even though the surprises in question were very much prepared with this exact day in mind.
Once they leave the warmth of the futon and start preparing for the day ahead, Soma begins to linger near Seiroku, waiting for him to reach for his clothes and realize that atop his usual garments lies a brand new outfit, made out of Hi no Moto's finest materials and bearing a striking resemblance to the belt Soma had gifted him long ago. The outfit and its patterns are also in white and black, as the belt had been and as the yellow soul's wardrobe typically tends to be, but with tasteful bits of real gold sewn in here and there as well, meant to prove Seiroku's newfound prestige as a soon-to-be member of royalty. To harmonize with the gold, dozens of different accessories made of pure gold lay above the outfit too, from hairpins, to necklaces, bracelets, anklets and even face veils, for the other to choose from at his heart's content.
❛ Happy birthday, Seiroku. May you continue to have happiness for a long time, ❜ Soma states when he notices his love has laid eyes on the (first) gifts, the smile from before once again finding its way on his face as the general decides to re-enact what he'd done the year prior by stepping closer and reaching for Seiroku's hand in order to kiss it, reverence shown in how he carefully kisses each knuckle before settling on the back of his hand. If seen from any other person's perspective, it might well appear as though Seiroku is the royal between the two of them, and Soma the one vying for his affection. ❛ I love you. ❜ And it would seem the truth isn't too far off if the rare words he spews, alongside the admiring glint in Soma's eyes when he looks up, are of any indication.
Once they are both ready to leave, Soma unexpectedly offers his hand out for Seiroku to hold, much unlike in their previous year together and despite the potential to be perceived by other members of the band, and begins to calmly steer them towards the castle's main hall. There isn't anything out of the ordinary in his subsequent actions, except for when he brings the both of them to a halt next to the series of immense portraits made in his family's likeness and depicting every noteworthy member of the Date (be they past captains or otherwise considered valuable additions to the band thanks to their accomplishments), with the current captain having been the most recent addition... until not long ago. Right next to Soma's portrait now lies a recently painted portrait of Seiroku in the very clothes he was gifted earlier, the portrait's gold frame subtly tied to Soma's own. ❛ Not bad, right? ❜ Soma utters, looking up towards the painting as though Seiroku's presence on that wall is a given. ❛ I'd say the royal painter got everything right this time around. ❜
But it isn't long before Soma decides to continue their walk after only giving Seiroku enough time to take the portrait in, and proceeds to bring them to a part of the castle which had generally hosted industrial buildings... only for there to no longer be any in sight in that corner of the band. Instead, as perhaps one of Soma's most daring endeavors yet, lies a large, man-made swimming pond implemented specifically for Seiroku's leisure. It had been a test of both Soma's patience and the Date's technology, but at last they have managed to create something similar to a smaller artificial lake within the flying castle's grounds, thus sparing Seiroku from either having to postpone his visits to bodies of water, or being forced to leave the castle each time he wished to be near one. ❛ What do you think? I figured it'd be easier for you to relax if we didn't have to be floating around bodies of water for you to be able to take a swim. No fish to pester you here either, unless you want to add some. ❜
Soma glances up towards the sky after a while, and after the novelty wears off he gently pulls Seiroku in the direction of the plateau where their yearly bushi festival takes place; with their presence signaling the start of a fireworks show taking to the sky, alongside the bustle of the band members' loud birthday wishes for Seiroku. Soma squeezes Seiroku's hand then, and it isn't long until the rest of the members let the birthday man in on the secret they all already know. Namely, Seiroku's birthday is no longer to be considered simply a birthday anymore, but it has been officially decreed as a festival for the Date to celebrate for the rest of their history as a band, which becomes evident in the amount of people gathering for the festivities instead of working; and in the stalls scattered throughout the area. And unlike during the last year cheer, the Date members have positioned themselves evenly on two sides of the road, with a path left in between them for Soma and Seiroku to tread on, which blatantly leads up to the entrance of a building mainly used for ceremonies, where those willing have placed their own gifts for Seiroku. Though they may vary from silk clothes, to medical equipment, to homemade meals and so forth thanks to the difference in everyone's respective assets, what is clear is that everyone who has contributed to the pile, has done so from the heart.
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Slowly sleep uncurls its grasp on the slumbering doctor, though it's never a particularly quick process. Certainly not when Soma is still with him and the body heat has him yearning to melt into it and never move again. ( Well, till he inevitable got restless. ) He gives a half-awake hum in response. " Good morning. " He replies, voice soft and a bit slurred with the part of sleep that still clings on. He smiles at the kiss though, and a soft little laugh, sweet and delicate as a small stream leaves him when he feels Soma's forehead against his. He presses back just a fraction, just to show that he is paying attention, that he's aware and the gesture is reciprocated in kind.
He's safe, and he's loved, so he can indulge in this peace he's craved at the root of his soul for so long. Soma seems entranced and Seiroku lifts his hand, fingers gently brushing over his jawline. " You're so handsome. " He murmurs, and he's said it before but he'll never stop saying it. He's always entranced by the other. It makes his chest tighten to think he once thought he'd never get this ever again. Once he would have accepted a sword through his chest and called it love even then. What more can you give to someone than your dying moments, to greet death not with defeat or hatred but a bleeding heart full of love and wishing them nothing but the best? You are my ending, even in violence. But he gets this and it is so much BETTER than what he had once expected.
" I always sleep well when you're here. " Seiroku nuzzles against Soma, tucking his lithe frame against the much broader one to indulge in just a few seconds longer. He grins into their kiss, blue eyes bright and alert to signal he's truly awake. " Mmm...Nothing in particular. " Seiroku answers with a small shrug. Maybe something with the medical team later, enjoy the day off the team had insisted he'd take. Chima had seemed particularly insistent. It might not be anything as big as last year, but Seiroku didn't need that. Never asked or demanded anything. The fact Soma was lazing about with him some was a gift in of itself. Curiosity grows in his chest at Soma's words, intrigued and invested in whatever it might be. " Sure. I'd love to. " He agrees easily, and decides that is enough motivation to encourage him to get up and playfully tug Soma up with him. Mostly only achieved when the red soul goes along with it.
His hair is always the first thing he fixes, brushing out glossy locks and pulling it back into his signature ponytail. It's only then he reaches to go for his usual outfit and STOPS when he sees that there's something new there. Many new things, actually. His fingers linger over the fabric, eyes drifting over the accessories with a smile. The style similarities certainly aren't missed by him and he knows better than to think it was an accident. If it hadn't been for the timeline, he might have otherwise believed it to be an especially long plan. He doesn't really need all this, but he's learned gift-giving seems to be a major love language and he's not inclined to comment otherwise when such care and effort has been made for him.
" You spoil me. " Affection lays heavy in his voice as he smiles and turns to Soma, a gentle shade of pink painting his fair features. " Thank you for this. " He says, voice a soft musical note. He instantly recognizes what Soma is doing, the memory unfurling warm and sweet in his mind as he watches Soma do it again with the same look of awed wonderment. This is his. This isn't a dream. This is his. His eyes widen a fraction at the words; he knows they are true in the depths of his heart even without them being spoken aloud. But it is a joy to hear them every time, rich and sweet. He bows his head with an almost shy giggle as he stands up, up, up onto his tippy toes to properly kiss Soma again. " I love you too. Every piece of my soul. "
It takes a moment to part and get dressed - his hesitation lingering on all the accessories he has to choose from. One of the golden face veils is a given, a bracelet, a hair piece- but his eyes linger on the necklaces for a long time. His scars still linger, when it had bene silver not gold that rested there. A collar of obedience and control, inflicting pain for the stubbornness of another. A reminder that he was a dog on a leash. The scars itch at the thought. There is no demand he wear this - there's far too many accessories for him to even wear all at once. But he wants to do this. Maybe no one else will understand the meaning or weight of it, but Seiroku will. He's not forced to stay, this is his choice. What is love if not a wild animal willingly trusting another? He picks up the lightest looking necklace and hesitates a second before he puts it on... And the itching stops. His scars are soothed under the cool metal and it isn't heavy like silver. He barely feels it and it feels like one more arrow in his side that he's pulled out. He looks at the mirror one more time to ensure he's satisfied before he turns to Soma.
The extended hand is a surprise - one he gladly takes and laces their fingers together. He doesn't know what's changed, he doesn't mind. He's content to follow after Soma as they walk together till they stop alongside the portraits. He remembers the awe the first time he'd seen it all, and he's spent countless hours studying, memorizing, learning. The history of the clan was as important as the future ; something to be valued and respected. He doesn't expect to see his own face. The days of Seiroku having been someone important in the world had died the day the oni and demon metal had arrived. From the very top into the pit of despair. He stares at his portrait in open shock, every paint stroke perfect and flawless. He looks....beautiful. Of course Seiroku knows he's attractive, but that's different. This is beautiful in the way nature is, in something that is felt. And to think he's on the wall with everyone else that's so important. He wants to ask is this how you see me? but swallows instead. " Not bad? I think the painter deserves a little more credit. " He manages to find his voice with a smile. " It's gorgeous. " He should have known outfits and accessories would never be all from Soma. It's still overwhelming how much he is gifted, and everything no matter how small or big always earns the most genuine thanks - never taken for granted nor greed ever present.
He allows himself to be led again, wondering just what Soma has planned. It's not a part of the castle he recognizes as much. Familiar - but one he's only been to here and there. But the buildings are all gone. Seiroku gasps, the veil doing nothing to his his open-mouthed shock at the glittering light of the pool. " How- You- " Seiroku's rarely caught without a coherent remark, but every though and question stumbles over themselves into nothing particularly coherent. It doesn't matter. His happiness is OBVIOUS, when his bright blue eyes rival the very sun or the most perfect blue diamond. He squeezes Soma's hand with a breathless laugh of admiration and shock. He can't fathom how long this must have taken. He feels like a child again, giddy with joy. " What do I think? " He gives an incredulous noise. " That it's beautiful. And that I am going to be a lot easier to convince to relax and take proper breaks. " He adds with a genuine laugh - he's gotten BETTER but there's still times where he's stubborn. " That is true, it is much easier now. I can't believe you managed this - " He pauses only a fraction of a second before " - actually, i can believe it. " Because it's Soma. He hasn't stopped smiling and his cheeks hurt but it's perfect. No one else is around - so Seiroku tugs Soma down a bit closer to his level and gently lifts the face veil to press another kiss to Soma's lips. " Thank you. We're definitely coming here later. Or tomorrow. " It's a statement he intends to be cemented as fact. He smiles and affectionately bumps their noses together before turning back to soak in the awe of the water a little longer. The joy is still flowing in his veins but it settles, no longer a frantic rapid of emotion but a gentle current weaving through his chest.
Intrigue grows when he sees them heading for the plateau, and then he has his answer. The fireworks catch his eyes for the first few before he lowers his eyes again to greet the birthday congratulations that he answers with a smile. His throat feels tight with emotion and he can feel the tears at the corners of his eyes. Happiness lingers in the air so intense that he can practically taste it like a delicious sugary confection. Everyone had known. Everyone had remembered. There's so many stalls and so many people - and that's what he cares about most. It's not the gifts ( though he treasures them all ) , it's not the fireworks, it's not about it being his day. It's about having so many people around celebrating and enjoying each other's company. THAT'S what is most precious to Seiroku. His free hand lifts to delicately wipe away at the tears in his eyes ( and he spots the medical team with knowing grins on their faces that has him swallow back a laugh. ) " I didn't expect happy tears to be a yearly tradition too. " He whispers to Soma with a trembling laugh - but his voice is rich and warm and happy. It touches his heart to see the heartfelt gifts everyone has given him ; not because of what the gifts ARE so much as what they REPRESENT. Love, acceptance, a place where he finally, finally, belongs. He turns to everyone with a shout of thanks and a beaming smile, his chest so warm and full when everyone cheers that he'd almost fear it would explode. He turns his head just slightly as everything really picks up to try to hide the few more tears that escape, but his smile had never once faltered or faded. No, this is simply perfect.
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arthyritis · 5 days
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The thought of giving myself a haircut on the days I have no energy is a constant torture I endure 😔
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msburgundy · 4 months
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today i got about 4 good hours before my eyes dried out horribly, which is almost twice as much as i got yesterday. i will continue blinding myself with coconut oil
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i really do think the majority of my problems would be solved if i was a dragon
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dockaspbrak · 2 months
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Prayer circle!!!!!!! Im abt to go write w someone i hope i fucking can write smth
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darcyolsson · 1 year
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sometimes I forget that I operate on significantly different energy levels than most ppl my age but I'm on holiday with my friends rn and these people they do SO MANY THINGS. and get this they do them EVERY DAY. madness. people live like this?
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