#like bro that sounds a heck of a lot like my entire fucking life bro

[chilope]

absolutely insane how many of my random spontaneous symptoms are attributable to migraines

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC EPILOGUE

One last...One last review...before...*gasp for air*...it all fall into the pit of daily pass...*dramatically fall into the ground*

ALL THOSE CHAPTERS. Those were some damn rollercoasters. And yet with everything we've been through, we're finally here...

Let's get right into it

JACK FINALLY REUNITING WITH LEELATHAE!! Relationship goal fr <3 This whole Leelathae portrait stuff is actually making me curious about some things. For instance like, does Leelathe still sleep? I mean, she's pretty much a spirit now, right? Does she still do daily human acitivities, or does she roam around the castle all day?

It's awesome to see what the pastel siblings are doing now! :D

First of all, Lorena definitely deserve that A+++++. No questions asked. Hopefully this can make up for her whole grade, considering she said she has never gotten an A in her entire life XD

I love how Maria is becoming really ambitious towards her dream!

And Gwen bonding with her mom's side of the family <3 That is simply so sweet. It looks like Jamie love those food XD I wonder what are the recipes for those dishes.

Also pretty curious what those little beads are! I assume they are berries?

Jamie and Leopold creating lots of paintings so Leelathae can venture around!! Since Leelathae can also visit dreams, do you think she visits each of her children's dream every night?

Old guard name reveal HECK YEAH!! I've been waiting for that. So happy he got all those recognitions and promotion!!

And Becket getting demoted lmaoo

Is it rude for me to say that with what Beckett did before the invasion (ignore Frederick), and how he immediately decided to confess to Maria without any consideration for the room, he kindaa had it coming? xd I get that he was excited but don't just do that man.

Just wanted to say I absolutely love Lorena's outfit in this panel! Between all of the pastel siblings, her fashion style has always been my favorite. VOTE QUEEN LORENA WOOOOO!!!!

Everyone's getting their appreciations like they deserve!! I'm happy for everyone.

FREDERICK FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION, THE APPRECIATION, AND THE PROUDNESS HE DESERVE!! I'M SO PROUD OF HIM EVERYONE LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THE BOY.

The Cursed Princess Club!! Everyone may have a hard time accepting them at first but they always have their family and friends' back <3 Love how Tori is just "CLAP YOU HEATHENS" Lmao XD

Also the fact that Whitney is just standing there so awkwardly :') he looks like the standing emoji.

Welp, out of the town and to the prison we go~

Leland not getting any visitors in the prison is honestly a really good punishment; a painful one too. How we see in the last chapters about how he realized that Jack actually love him and he has a breakdown, Isolde's speech to him about what else could he possible want, realizing that this whole time he has had everything. And now he's rotting in jail losing everything he once had. All because of envy and hatred. Just because he wasn't satisfied until he could see the man he once love the most suffer. Emotionally, that's really fucking painful.

Out of the prison we go~

So, Pizza exist in the CPC universe? XD That's not supposed to be surprising but I was taken aback for some reason. I guess CPC is set after the 18th century, then!

I can imagine it already. With Suzie moving to the Pastel Kingdom, Lorena will definitely hang out with her almost everyday. Them sparring and eating at a cafe in their free time <3 Sometimes Lance would join too :] They would share notes!!

FINALLY THEY STOLE THE PORTRAIT BACK!! I wonder where they will hang it up? Maybe at the Cpc? Or at the Pastel Palace?

Jack declaring the cpc's forest as a protected place is so damn awesome like, he cares about his daughter's friends!! ALSO THE SPIDER TALKING ABOUT NEWEST MEMBER?? I wonder who...

This panel is everything for me.

BENEDICT IS SO DAMN DEVOTED WHAT??? BRO He tricked the sea cucumber to curse him so he can find his lover!!! (This sounds so confusing out of context lmao) TRUE RELATIONSHIP GOAL.

BLAQUELYN LOOKS SO PRETTY???? I LOVE HER FASHION STYLE SO MUCH!! She rocks that outfit fr!! But Greyden 💀 Deep down I'm still wondering how very little of his hair could make a whole damn coat..

GUYS. GUYS IT'S HAPPENING. EVERYBODY STAY CALM

NELL AND JOLIE WEDDING LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO

Holy shit. First of all another point about the outfits cause I loveee observing everyone's outfit!! Their wedding dress is absolutely!! Pretty!!! The details Lambcat put is amazing. I can see that Jolie's wearing high heels, so can we assume she and Nell has the same height? Absolutely adore how Jolie's dress has ruffles look while Nell's more silky!!

The wedding's decoration is totally magical too!! It looks so majestic and angelic.

Celso and Aurelia is a couple I would never expect but honestly? I'm not complaining. Imagine their date is them sitting at a cafe right at the window seats, watching people outside while roasting each one of them <3 Dream date fr

I do hope it's true love though because if not, R.I.P Celso XD

Holy shit.. EVERYONE PLEASE, ALLOW ME TO MAKE YET ANOTHER FASHION REVIEW. BECAUSE GOODNESS GRACIOUS THIS DRESS IS MAKING ME SWOON. OKAY DAMN YOU GO MARIA YOU GO. First of all the blue fabric looks so metallic, I love that!! The light blue glittery ruffles with little pearls on its edges are also gorgeous. I love the lace necklace complimenting the dress and especially, I fricking love the blue transculent fabric on her arms!!! She looks so graceful.

She got noticed by her idol!!! That is so dang amazing. How she looks in the album cover is also just, woah.

Blaine buddy you cannot just do that. You cannot just. No. Please I'm begging you, reunite with your family. You can go on ahead with your self discovery journey, of course! But at least visit them once or twice :') Your mom is real worried about you, man...

I hope there's going to be a spin off or something about Blaine's journey...

NEW CPC HEADQUARTER??? HECK YEAH!!

Monika opening her jewelry store and achieving her dream!! So proud of her :D and Gwen opening her own bakery!!

Unfortunately I've run out of picture space...

Gwen can finally see her own reflection I am so proud of her :') She love herself!!

Goodness...Leelathae's letter... I need a moment to sob.

I fricking love the message this webtoon gives, man. It's just so damn wholesome and important. Beauty is on the inside. It's a simple message but damn it really is important to understand that message!!

Gwen is wearing braids Y'ALL 😭😭 SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL

Okay, I'm wondering about something here! In the panel where the pastel family are having breakfast together, we can see Leelathae eating pancakes in her portrait too! Does this mean she can eat? Can food be transported to portraits? Or did Leopold paint a pancake or smth XD

THE LAST. FUCKING PANEL.

Gwen and Frederick holding hands in front of the CPC building while being surrounded by sunflowers which once scare Frederick but now he looks so happy and in peace. I'm so glad everyone each got their deserved ending :')

Well, I suppose this is the last review, then. That's kind of sad, to be honest. But I've loved writing each of my reviews, and I want to say thank you to people who have interracted with them. I always love hearing y'all's thought and theories!! Maybe one day I'll find a new webtoon series which I can write these reviews on!! But for now, this shall be the last cpc review I write!

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[nodameshield]

how are we doing? have the tears dried yet? I know mine haven’t :: 

let’s start light : research fellows count ! (also, lady, only ten years old? - I resent that).

Goh understands this?? he’s got a silly proud smile and it’s following Ash’s butchered storytelling??? love 

research fellows count ! 

perfectly attainable dream 

sure, go for it.  (look at both of their supportive lil smiles, we love best friends) 

we all know the scene that’s coming ahead, but I thought this was a beautiful demonstration of growth already on Goh’s side.

Listen before the sad part begins let us appreciate for a moment how Ash and Goh were smiling at EACH OTHER after the interview was over. cuties. 

behold : the last frame we have of baby Sobble. I’m going to miss you, bean. thank you for everything<3 (he was so proud of his good deed as well!! my very heart) 

just how fast the night changes, indeed.

Drizzle went through shock and pain at record speed and swiftly landed on anger - only to fall into ✨depression✨ just as quickly.

and then we just stayed there.

someone 

is 

(oh hey Cinderace ! good to see ya)

having  

a rough morning

 (I’m sorry, this scene was just fucking funny - the drama)

Cinderace’s proud big bro moment was just too sweet to leave out - let us not forget, he’s been a big bro since he was Raboot (and even as a temperamental Raboot, he was always gentle to Sobble). And now his baby bro has evolved as well. precious ! 

Goh handled this situation very maturely from the beginning. And here’s when the build up starts. He’s saying ‘hey, let me help you how I think you need to be helped” and he genuinely doesn’t mean any harm! naturally, his reaction is to help his Pokémon, in the way that has worked in the past.

but then he starts to understand maybe that’s not the best approach this time around.

and he’s ready to respect those new boundaries (of course, there’s no blame on Cinderace, either. Much like Goh, he - and everyone, really - was just trying to help in the way he thought was the best).

shoutout to the animation on this bit because Pikachu’s ears darting down was a delightful detail. Chloe’s expression and Grookey’s simmering down drove the point home as well.

ah, you coy little thing. Did you forget how your trainer almost left you behind because of how rebellious you were??? Because you made him feel as though you’d be better off without him?? (Cinderace has selective memory, you can’t change my mind, don’t be miss-leaded by the cuteness)

this build up was wonderful - we begin to hear all these reasons why, yeah? maybe he just wants to be alone.

maybe he’s still very afraid and careful of his surroundings, and his evolution made it worse? (he’d been popping up in random places in previous episodes, hiding, which was also great foreshadowing for this episode !) 

maybe he’s cocooning himself until he’s ready to evolve again? (which, considering his disappointment and how badly he wanted to be Inteleon already, is a very plausible reason)

but Prof. Cerise gets it right when he says ‘we can’t really know for sure’ (which ties greatly with Goh’s upcoming scene) - is it your Drizzle’s quirk? are they all like this? who cares? Isn’t wonderful how he’s a living creature? how he’s got nuances and a personality? shouldn’t that be enough of a reason to look after him, and try to help him right now?

my child, still thinking he’s got to do everything on his own.

and these two are just like ????? Goh ??? watchu talking about ???

can you imagine how MUCH this moment means to him?? he was ready to keep going alone (it’s what he knows) and even when Ash and Chloe prove him, time and time again, that he’s not alone, there’s still something in Goh coded to believe others won’t care as much/won’t be there when he needs them. and that’s why he insists: I’ve got this. I can do it alone.

and, sure, but you don’t have to. that’s the beauty of friendship.

you tell him, Chloe. (actually, without Chloe calling him out, he might have taken longer to figure out where Drizzle was. so...) // but also, it gives us a glimpse into the fact that, while Goh might have felt very lonely, Chloe has been observing and caring for him - in her way - for a long minute as well.

my very point above. 

HEY, LISTEN: he doesn’t know, either. he’s a child, words are hard, and you rotate along the four moods of childhood (happy, upset, scared, hungry (?)) and don’t ponder much on anything else because you are a child, there’s no emotional intelligence to speak of, no need for it, you’re being shaped by your environment and all the stimuli of the world being a new place. things like loneliness, confusion, anxiety... we can’t put those into words - hell, they’re fucking abstract and confusing even when we are adults.

and Goh’s stimuli and environment was, given what we know of his family life, a rather lonely one. Did his parents have a lot of spare time to take him to the park? I don’t think so. Was he good at going out there and asking other kids to play? ... probably not. 

Chloe doesn’t strike me as an extrovert, either, so even if she wanted to get close to Goh or invite him to hang out, perhaps she was too shy as well. Heck, perhaps Goh’s reaction would’ve been like the one above, he simply didn’t know. Maybe he didn’t want to ! and that’s perfectly fine as well.

am I forgiving the anipoke team for making Goh cry? no, never. but this was beautifully executed so I can grow to live with it.

“why are you depressed?” “you have nothing to be sad about!” “look at all the wonderful things you have!” “just be happy again!” - sound familiar? yeah, this was incredibly well done.

as adults, perhaps we see this and think ‘shit, how cool that they’re prodding on these topics, it’s important’ and it is !!! so important !! but if it’s this impactful as young-adults/grown-ups, imagine how impactful it must be as a child to see this and feel perceived. I’m honestly so proud of this moment, this whole episode. I’m grateful they took the time to look into this maturely. and even if children don’t do a full-fledged analysis on it, if they relate (like I know so many of us did) they won’t forget it. and that’s beautiful.

darling I’m blanking on your TW handle I’m so sorry - but someone in a tweet SO RIGHTFULLY pointed out that these are the words Goh would have needed to hear when he was younger. saying them to Drizzle it’s a full circle moment for him, he’s hearing them as well, and it’s helping both of them grow.

He’s not forcing himself as Drizzle’s trainer. Goh bears no entitlement here. He’s saying ‘Hey, if you’re comfortable, if you want to share , I’ll be here’ / as a kid, people did care for him, they kept wanting to know what was going on, but Goh couldn’t put that in words and people pestering him only made it worse, but if someone had said ‘hey, when you’re ready...’ then,,,,yeah,,,,maybe it would’ve been different. 

he’s offering that safety now to his Pokémon, something he didn’t have, but he grew to understand is what he (and now Drizzle) needed. If that doesn’t have you breaking down in a teary mess then you are stronger than I’ll ever be, because my glasses were cloudy by this point.

why, why, why. because you needed to hear all that as well, baby! so did a number of us. thank you.

I’ll say that, however it was that you connected with this moment, that’s yours to cherish. 

Personally, I too had a lonely childhood marked by parents who overworked, and I too spent a lot of time alone in kindergarten and through elementary school because it was hard to make friends (turns out i’m an extrovert, ha, talk about breaking out of your shell...) so, obviously there were easy common grounds for me in this episode.

but I LOVED to read the reactions and realize so many people still connected with it, one way or the other. So many of us felt seen and understood and acknowledged in emotions that are so hard to put into words !! 

so, again, if you identified with Goh or Drizzle or any of the topics in this episode, that’s very beautiful, and I hope the underlying message that you’re not alone gets through.

With Sobble, and now with Drizzle as well, Goh is very adamant to remind us that, however we are, that’s fine. there’s something that makes us special, regardless of other people’s opinions, or their ideas of how we *should be* // that’s the message I’m taking with me, at least.

 and i can’t wait to see how this story line evolves !! I have no doubts that, when the moment comes, Inteleon will be a wonderful addition to the team, but Drizzle is here now, and he’s plenty wonderful already x

Bonus: 

ha ha, yes. I watched this episode three times. And all three times I was a mess.

side note but a very important one: the animation, the voice acting, the dialog, the scenery of the starry night - the entire scene was so beautifully executed. so  carefully crafted. ugh, amazing. just perfect. so happy.

[we-rate-tmnt]

I request: Leonardo. Please and thank you 🙏.

Idk if everyone loves Leo or if my header and avatar just remind everyone about this amazing blue boy. (This one’s super silly btw. I’m just sillier as time goes on. Character development I guess?) 

The iconic leador Leonardo (1987)

Bro idk why but I loved this Leo. I have a tiny memory, especially with this version but I clearly remember that I thought he was the funniest and the coolest. I mean, he had swords, what was I supposed to do as a 7-year-old. NOT like him??? Anyway, while Raph was the best at insult comedy, I think Leo had the best puns and punchlines. I really like how nonchalant this Leo is compared to his iterations, going along with really silly ideas and having fun along the way. But because of this, his leadership is a little forced at times, he seems like such a chill and fun dude that when he gets serious, I have to squint and ask ‘are you Leo? Or were you just putting on act a moment ago?’ Or my perception is entirely warped over time. Either way, good turtle boy, could have used some work tho. 5.7/10

Here comes grumpy lad wooo this is all read very monotone btw Fearless Leader (2003)

What. What the fuck happened. I was actually so confused when Leo turned really angry and serious and almost manic. I thought that episode when he popped into Casey’s window and was like ‘Hey bitch lets go beat the shit out of some lowlifes’ I was WOAH THERE BUDDY BACK UP BACK UP BACK TF UP. It was so sudden to me and when it was finally explained, it made some sense??? Like yeah, character development is great an’ all but this ain’t it chief. I can’t imagine what it was like having to wait for these episodes to release one at a time. Bc I watched every episode back to back on Youtube and I was genuinely bamboozled. But when you have an experience like that where guilt is weighing down on you from a situation you couldn’t control, it would’ve been HELLA HELPFUL to have at least a flashback, like a line saying ‘I was so useless!’ at BARE MINIMUM. Like right after Shredder is booted off to Planet Zula, Donnie would notice that Leo didn’t seem all that happy and would ask why and Leo would get upset and yell at Donnie saying that ‘You wouldn’t understand’, ‘You don’t know how I felt, how I feel because of that’, etc. Like you don’t even have to say he felt guilty or helpless, just give us something to grab onto. We’re merely six-year-olds who thought they could climb the YMCA rock wall in easy mode but instead the script riders harnessed us up on the hard one and wouldn’t let us come down until we rang the little bell at the top. I think that is the only problem I had with his Leo. The sudden change of calm and decisive to angry and irrational was so jarring that it felt unnatural without that crucial context. If you want a surprise reveal, at least hint at the reveal (like just about every Disney movie with their ‘twist’ villains) not wait until the very last moment. I think this might be my least favorite Leo and I think the season where he stood out the most and seemed the strongest was Fast Forward (Which was GOOD FIGHT ME), especially in scenes with Dark Leo, his clone. He sees so much of himself in Dark Leo but he also sees something he had once grasped (AKA the poorly written character arc, I CANNOT stress how bad I thought it was). Although, I honestly think he’s a really good character and he’s a pretty neat guy. However, this score is entirely held up by Fast Forward and his connection with Usagi, sword bros to the end of time. 3/10 (2 for FF and 1 for Usagi)

And now a Leo that makes me genuinely feel UWU Leo (2012)

I cannot stress how much I like this guy! Like his design is so appealing, his dedication, his obsession with Space Heroes, like I FUCKING LOVE IT. And everyone knows, that shit with Karai, at first when they didn’t realize they were related, I can let slide but kajsdflksadf what even like why did the writers feel the need to add in more ‘love interest’ implications like yuck yuck yuck. The only two interactions with Leo and Karai that I really like are when Leo defeats her using the healing hands technique and when Leo has a goth/emo/punk/idk I’m new here phase and they team up and EXPLOSIONS. He was introduced to us as being incredibly naive and his idea of leadership is from some old cartoon that’s basically star trek but ethically questionable. After his fights in season 1, to the finale with the technodrome, you can see his growth. He’s able to formulate plans and make life or death decisions. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. When Leo got hurt, I felt like the oof sound effect mixed with some tears I normally shed at some Shojo manga bs. While the episodes following were super weird, it was a nice way to help Leo recover, not only physically but spiritually (Although I don’t remember the spirit arc at all except the epic Raph vs Fishface fight, so we’re skipping that). When Master Splinter really died, you could tell there was a huge impact on Leo, but he had to remain stoic and lead the family now. A lot of heartbreaking moments in this series came from Leo and I’m glad they took at least some thought into developing him. Tiny head Leo will haunt my nightmares, but the giggly fanboy will warm my heart constantly. 6/10

I only have one word for this Leo (Heroes in a Half Shell: Blast to the Past)

This is a super crazy bad idea accent on the super crazy bad part have I mentioned it’s also a really terrible idea/10

Okay, spoiler alert, didn’t really think this Leo was that grand Leo (2014/2016)

Painfully average. He didn’t stand out that much, Raph was part of the focus and had that touching scene at the end, Donnie was ICONIC and Mikey (with his weird-ass eyes) was super lively and funny! Leo? Uh, I don’t remember a single line he said. Because he never really grabbed my attention, I don’t have too much to say on this version. The Raph and Leo fight felt forced and the whole ‘keep this stuff that could turn us human a secret’ was pretty pointless and was added just to cause drama, I don’t even remember what that Splinter and Leo conversation was about. Design-wise, really neat! You can see some more traditional Japanese clothing/style mixed with modern (I’d feel a lot better about this assumption if some could tell exactly what the heck he’s wearing, but I get traditional Japan warrior vibes from it) in his look which was super neat! Other than that, if you like him, please tell me why because I don’t get. He was just kinda eh. 5/10

AHHH MY BOY YASSS WHOOO!! Neon Leon (2018)

Okay, I loved Ben Schwarts already from Parks and Rec but like him being Sonic AND Leo, like DUDE. He’s super funny by himself but teamed up with this shows writing and animation, it makes it hilarious. I literally love this Leo so much, maybe because we’re alike but honestly, he’s amazing. I love his design with the red and yellow crescents accenting his skin and livening up his color pallet. He has a very healthy and natural dynamic with his brothers, he’s the first to know what’s wrong and tries his best to make up for his actions. This is really prominent in the most recent episodes, along with the episode portal jacked. In both, Leo is separated from his brothers. Portal Jacked is in a more literal sense, while Air Turtle handles in more of an emotional sense. While both are brief, Leo sees his error and tries his best to make it up to them. I love his dynamic so much and it’s so nice to see something like this compared to the unnecessary drama and tension between the brothers in the previous series. It’s refreshing and this is something a younger audience needs to see; instead of fighting, it’s better to work together and improve yourself along the way. Improvement is a big theme for Leo here. He’s a goofball, makes jokes at every opportunity and isn’t quite skilled at fighting or using his weapon. But he grows over time, he learns to manage his power and he’s working on mastering it. He’s trying to put aside his narcissism more and focuses on his family. I think the approach they took with him rising to leader rather than slapping it on his forehead was the goddamn best decision they could make. He’s making plans, finding loopholes, helping out and getting out of his comfort zone. I cannot stress how well this show has handled Leo, along with the other characters. I can’t wait to see more episodes about his growth and I am awarding him with one of the greatest honors I could give... 10/10

Storytime: I drew a super cute 2012 Leo, you should look at him. Shameless self-promo, but you should follow me on my main blog bc I’m nice and I draw pretty pictures. Also. I have a little 2012 Leo Happy Meal toy??? I think??? guarding my window and he’s been there for YEARS. I need to bring him in and refresh his paint job.

Wow! I didn’t expect this many requests for Leo, so the blog will be momentarily spammed with the requests, but it shouldn’t be too much! Up next should be the last turtle (Mikey) and then we can get to some REALLY great requests I’m eager to answer. As usual, please comment and reblog! I’d love to hear your opinion!

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Possessed Part 2 Chapter Four: Discussion

Back in the lab, the boxes were placed haphazardly all over the floor. E. Gadd was already sorting through them while Polterpup chewed on a bone in the corner and Gooigi seemed to just be sort of standing around, watching. They looked up and lifted a hand in a small wave as Luigi, King Boo, and Mario entered. King Boo even let Luigi return with his own wave. It was nice to see Gooigi again, though Luigi felt a bit bad about having not thought of them much the past however long King Boo had been possessing him for.

“Did you tell him?” E. Gadd asked, looking up from his work to swivel around in his chair to face them. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he had to mean.

“Yes,” Luigi said. He would’ve still preferred not to but there was no way they could’ve kept it a secret for long no matter what.

“Good. I already explained to Gooigi so you don’t have to worry them.” That was one worry off Luigi’s plate at least. Whatever Gooigi felt about the situation was impossible to guess but that was how it was always was with them.

“You can fix it, right?” Mario asked, walking around the boxes to stand by E. Gadd at his desk.

“I don’t know yet but I’m going to try. I have to adjust the KBE blueprints some and might need to send you four out for more parts to build it. So it’s still days if not weeks away from being done. And I don’t even know if that time frame’s going to be an issue or not. How fast does it take for two souls to become one? At what point does separating them become impossible? There’s so much we don’t know.”

Neither King Boo or Luigi had thought to consider that before. What if they’d already reached the point of no return? If not how far away were they from it? It could potentially take weeks for E. Gadd to finish the KBE, that was a scary amount of time when under an unknown time limit.

“You two,” E. Gadd said, pointing at King Boo and Luigi, “You haven’t said anything about it but you must’ve noticed symptoms of what’s happening with your souls by now. About how long ago did they start? If we can pinpoint about when the process began, we might be able to calculate approximately how fast it’s occurring.”

Both of them thought back to when they’d first started becoming more aware of the other’s thoughts and emotions. They both came up blank though; their memories from before their trip to the Boo Kingdom were foggy and indistinct. Neither of them were even sure how long King Boo had been possessing Luigi for.

Which is your fault. If King Boo hadn’t been running around injecting Luigi’s body with every chemical he could find they would know more. Also, he would’ve gotten bored of the game sooner, possibly resulting in them not being in the mess in the first place. Or heck, if he just hadn’t possessed Luigi in the first place, things would be better for both of them.

‘How was I supposed to know this could happen? If anything, it’s your fault for making defeating you any other way so difficult.’

In the interest of keeping what little peace they could have Luigi wasn’t going to reply to that. “Longer than two weeks ago,” he said out loud instead.

“Much longer?” E. Gadd asked. “Or about two weeks?”

“Uh… I…” Luigi began before King Boo cut him off. “We’re not entirely sure because most of our time was spent experimenting with every inebriating substance we could get out hands on. As a result, we were barely aware of much of anything a lot of the time, let alone our thoughts getting closer, and we certainly can’t remember any of it well. So we can’t say when it started, only that it was longer than two weeks, probably by a fair bit. Before we found out about it was fun though, drugs, alcohol, and the ability to sleep are the only good things the living have.”

Why’d you have to tell them that? Luigi had had no control for any of it but he still felt ashamed and would’ve preferred no one ever knew of it. … Which was exactly why King Boo had told them.

Mario glared but as he opened his mouth to speak, King Boo cut him off.

“Before you get all mad at me about that, let me share just one more thing and ask a very important question related to it.” With an evil smile, he pushed back against Luigi’s attempt to make him shut up because mentioning that wasn’t necessary. Luigi didn’t want to think about it ever again. … Too bad, King Boo wanted to know why it had happened and there was a chance it might be useful information to E. Gadd. “On the day we discovered our predicament, I tried multiple ways to fix it myself. I only came here as a last resort after all. But the way that definitely should’ve worked but didn’t for some inexplicable reason was death. I tried to kill the meat suit but it wouldn’t die.”

“You did what?” Now Mario was really mad as he took a menacing few steps closer.

With an evil chuckle, King Boo pulled down the collar of suit, better revealing the mostly healed wound on Luigi’s neck. “I slashed his throat,” he said as he ran the thumb of his other hand over it, sending a shudder down Luigi’s spine. “Deep too. He couldn’t breath and he bled what seemed to be most of if not all his blood out. I even stopped his heart. And yet, he wouldn’t die.”

“You bastard!” Mario grabbed King Boo by the shirt and shoved his back roughly against the wall. He reared a fist back for a punch but seemed to catch himself just in time to punch the wall next to Luigi’s head instead of Luigi himself. “How dare you?”

With in inward chuckle, King Boo surrendered control to Luigi. Mario pushing him against the wall was suddenly the main thing keeping him up right as he shook from just the memory of that incident. It made him nauseous but he could almost recall what it felt like to lie there, bleeding out but not dying, not even passing out.

Mario jerked back with a stricken look. “I’m sorry Luigi, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine,” Luigi interrupted. “I uh… just don’t want to think about… that.” He wanted to say more but…

Having had his fun messing with Mario, King Boo took control back; steeling against the trembling and even pushing down the growing panic and forcing away the memory of it which Luigi wholeheartedly welcomed and assisted in. He then put a hand on Mario’s shoulder to push him to the side a bit to stroll past him. “Why did that happen?” he asked he strode over to stand in front of E. Gadd. “Why can’t the meatsuit die?”

E. Gadd looked shocked but quickly recovered, shaking it off before replying. “Hmmm… well I can’t say for sure without more data but my hypothesis would be that it has something to do with your souls merging. One of your souls is dead while the other is not, together you’d be something that’s sort of in-between, right? Meaning you’re neither fully alive nor fully dead and thus you can’t die. Oh uh… you may have actually discovered the secret to immortality, congrats! Hmm… I wish I could run all sorts of tests and experiments on you but… I can’t. My lab’s in shambles and there are lines I won’t cross even for science, letting a friend’s soul merge with someone so vile is one of them. I need the prioritize finished the KBE above all else.”

Luigi could’ve hugged him for that and with all he’s been through lately, he probably would’ve if King Boo wasn’t there to restrain him. … That hug with Mario had been more than enough for the day, King Boo refused to tolerate any more. So Luigi had to settle for a shaky, “Thank you,” instead.

E. Gadd grunted an acknowledgement as he spun his chair back to face his desk. “Speaking of that, I have work I need to get back to. Revealing your… stunt reminded me just how urgent his is.”

Unhappy but satisfied with that answer, King Boo turned back around to grin at Mario who was back to looking mad. “As soon as you’re out of my bro’s body, I’m gonna make you pay for everything you did to him,” he said, making it sound like a promise.

With an evil chuckle, King Boo raised an eyebrow. “Really? And how do you plan to do that? We’ve fought before, remember? Three times now. I won easily every single time. If it wasn’t for your bro here, you’d still be wall art.”

“I don’t care. You’re going to pay.”

Luigi wished he could take comfort in that but… he just couldn’t. Mario didn’t stand a chance against King Boo; three times were certainly enough to prove that. Maybe if he had a Poltergust he would but even then, he didn’t know how to use it, did he? It didn’t match his style of combat at all.

‘If he tries anything, he’s doomed.’ … So hopefully he wouldn’t. If he did, Luigi would have to try to convince him not to. But that was thankfully something he didn’t have to worry about right now, getting free of King Boo came first.

 -

Over the next however long, they sort of just hung out at the lab. E. Gadd worked, only occasionally calling Gooigi over to help with something. He called King Boo and Luigi over once for one more scan just for the sake of it and to see if anything had changed; it hadn’t. Other than that, none of them had anything more they could do right now but seemingly nowhere else to go.

It was Mario who eventually pointed out how late it was. Neither Luigi nor King Boo had noticed beyond taking note of Gooigi falling asleep in the corner but it was nearing midnight. King Boo’s magic and seemingly the whole half dead, half alive thing reduced their need for sleep – and other life sustaining things like food and water – making it easy to lose track of how late it was.

“Rest is for those without coffee,” E. Gadd protested upon the suggested he should rest and continue tomorrow.

Mario frowned at him. “While I agree, this is very important and needs to be done as soon as possible, it’s probably better if you rest.”

“I agree,” King Boo said. “If you fuck this up because of sleep deprivation or any other reason, I’ll make you death a slow one.” As much as he’d like it if E. Gadd could work on it 24/7, even he knew that the living needed sleep or they didn’t function properly. He’d rather it take a little longer to ensure E. Gadd did it right then rush it and probably result in something in it not working right and thus the whole thing failing.

E. Gadd groaned and complained in a way that was almost funny before finally spinning around and hopping off his chair. “Fine whatever. Let’s all get some rest. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Mario said as E. Gadd walked off. He then turned to look at King Boo and Luigi, still leaning against a wall to the side. “You want to come back to the castle with me? It’s a shorter drive back here than to your old place. And we can car pool.”

“You… really want me coming back with you?” Luigi asked because anywhere he went, King Boo went too and no one in their right mind would invite King Boo over to their house.

‘Wow, rude! I’m perfectly good company.’ … That was so blatantly untrue it wasn’t even worth a response. … ‘When I want to be I am.’

“Of course I do, your my bro. Even if you got an uh… unwelcome passenger right now, you’re still welcome over.”

“Let’s go then,” King Boo said as he stood up. He was bored and sleep sounded nice right about now anyway even if they didn’t feel much need for it yet.

 -

Mario didn’t live in the castle itself – though he did have a room there that he stayed in sometimes – but a house very near it. Luigi had lived with him there until a few years ago when he’d decided to try to be a little more independent. Which actually was part of what had led into the original haunted mansion trap so maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

Regardless, the place was almost exactly how Luigi remembered, the red couch in front of the outdated TV, the kitchen doorway to the right, and the hall leading to the bedrooms, except messier. Mario had never cared much about tidiness the way Luigi did. … King Boo preferred tidiness too. … Finally, something they had in common so at least when their souls merged, whatever kind of person they’d become would still be neat and tidy.

‘No need to be so pessimistic.’ It dampened King Boo’s confidence that this would turn out fine.

Can you blame me for being pessimistic when you’ve been making my life a living hell for however long we’ve been like this? Honestly, as bad as the idea of their souls merging into one was, it would probably be better than continuing to exist with King Boo in control of his body. So I think I’m allowed to be as pessimistic and negative and whatever else I want however much I want.

‘You should really stand up for yourself more. It’s more exciting than your whimpering and cowering is.’ Though part of why it was exciting was that the whimpering and cowering had gotten old after being exposed to it for so long.

Fuck you too. Even if he wasn’t physically tired, he was mentally and he just wanted this nightmare to be over with already. He’d reached the end of his rope a long time ago. That earned a chuckle from King Boo, before he could properly reply though…

“You okay?” Mario asked, stepping in front of them.

“No,” they said out loud together because it was impossible for them to be okay in these circumstances.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Unless you’ve been hiding a way to get me out of this meat suit, then no, you can’t help,” King Boo replied.

Mario glared at him. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

“It’s fine Mario,” Luigi cut in before King Boo could reply with a snarky taunt. “I’ll be fine… hopefully. I trust the professor, if anyone can fix it, it’s him.” What if he couldn’t though? What if it was too late already? Or too late by the time he finished the KBE?

“Yeah, you’ll be free of King Boo soon, I’m sure, just got to hang on a bit longer.” Mario gave him an encouraging smile. Luigi had always been a little jealous of his confidence. “Let’s go to be now, huh? It’s been a long day.”

Ignoring him, King Boo strode past him towards the bedroom. For the sake of getting along… ‘Which room is yours?’ He was tempted to head for Mario’s room to mess stuff up but it would accomplish nothing.

The one on the right. Luigi wouldn’t have let him mess with anything anyway.

“Uh… goodnight then Luigi,” Mario called after them as King Boo started down the hall. “Sweet dreams.”

“’Night Mario,” Luigi returned before King Boo could close the door.

[bodyswapmischief]

Thankful for my Brother

There the textwas sent. I thought to myself. Well there is nothing I could do know.

A hour passed, and I thought I was in the clear. Maybe my brother didn't care after all. But it was to good to be true. My phone started ringing.

"What the fuck, bro! You can't just text and say your not coming to Thanksgiving!" He yelled

"Well I thought it wouldn't be a big deal." I responded.

"Of course it's a big deal! Is something wrong? I could tell you've been pulling away lately." His voice changed from anger to concern.

"No, I'm good. It just now that I'm in New York and your all the way in California, it's hard keep in touch." My voice fails to hide my depression.

"Come on dude. That maybe part of it but, I know more is going on. I know when your lying. For christ sakes, I had to act like brother, mother and father to you. You know we can be honest with each other. We are all each other gots."

He was right about that. I was 12 when my parents died. And, he was 18. He was already to graduate high school and begin his college life. But that all stopped.

Being only children, my parents had no family left. So, everything they had was left to us. And, it was a pretty good amount of money. However since we were both under 20 most of the money would be locked under a trust fund. Then their was the case of my custody. I remember the exact phrasing, as the lawyer read the will.

"And, if we should die before Alex turns 18. We ask that our oldest son Jason becomes his legal guardian. But, it must be his choice to want to go through with this." My heart stopped. What was going to happen. But, before I could think about anything he started talking.

"Of course I'm going to keep my brother. He's not going anywhere." He stated strongly but with tears running down his face. He put is arms around me and pushed me close to him. "We are all we got, now."

I was happy. I was glad he liked me enough to keep him. After all the annoying things I did and the fights we had, he cared about me. But, at the same time I wanted to tell him no, don't do it. But, I couldn't. I didn't want to lose him. Maybe I was being selfish. But even at that young age, I knew how much he was giving up.

Instead of going to college he got a job. We, also, moved in to a small apartment after selling most of our parents things, because we could no longer afford living in our old house. Part of the will was he had to take financial responsibility class. So, that help.

And, he was able to help me. He helped me get through puberty, he taught me how to shave, he taught me how to talk to girls, he helped me with my homework, he made sure I always ate, and so many other things a brother, mom and dad would do.

By the time I was 18, I wanted to get a job to start helping my brother. But, he pushed me to go to college. He wanted my life to be all it could be. In a loving way, he wanted my life to make up for his. Luckily, we now had the money from the trust fund so, my college was paid for. I spent four years at a local university, majoring computer engineering.

My brother also got a break. At this point, most off his friends were finished with college. And, some of them were starting there own businesses. So, one of his good friends, offered him a better job. During this time he even met the love of his life. Over the course of a few years, they started having kids. And, I started feeling like a burden on their life. My brother's wife, came from a big family. And, they would always come around. They quickly accepted my brother, as their new son. And ,yes, they were kind to me. But, I felt like a third wheel. So, after college I knew I had to leave. It took a few years longer than I wanted, but I got a good job offer from a tech company in New York.

Being away from him, I realize why I left. I was jealous of the happiness my brother had. I wanted the love he had. I guess the death of my parents have affected me more than I thought. Unlike, my brother, I had relationships and commitment issues. Over my college life, I was becoming a bit of a play boy. And, it didn't help that I was Bi because it meant I had more options to mess around with. Now that I'm in New York with a good paying job, most of night end with going to clubs with my friends I've made, get drunk, and find a one night stand.

"Come on say something." My brother voice cut through my thoughts.

"Oh sorry ... it's just I don't want to be a burden. I don't want you tell feel like you need to have me there just because I'm your brother. I mean you got a new family now, you don't need me around anymore." I say.

"See, I new something was wrong. You sound depressed as fuck. Don’t do anything stupid. I’m going to take the next flight to go see you?”

“No, don’t. I’m not suicidal. Plus, your going miss thanksgiving with your family.”

“Fuck it, they’ll understand. I mean the holidays are a rough time for us. Especially since it’s around the time mom and dad died. And, this is the first time your all alone for it. It’s natural to be sad, heck I’m still sad, even though I got my wife and kids. Are you sure you don’t want me to fly over? I think it would help you feel better.”

“No, you don’t have to take care of me. I’‘m 26 for fuck sakes! I appreciate everything you had too sacrifice for me. and, I still love you. But, you don’t gotta fucking babysit me anymore. With this time apart, I just got  to find out some things for myself.” I said aggressively.

“Okay ... okay,  I understand ... I understand.” my brother says, trying to calm me down..

Tears in my eyes and I feel guilty. “Sorry ...sorry ...sorry. I don’t know where that came from. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Just recently I’ve been discovering how broken I am. I’ve actually started seeing a therapist gain. Turns out I have a lot of guilt from forcing you  to take care of me and ruining your life. And at the same time, I’m jealous of you, your life, and your ability to love.”

“Hey! You didn’t force me to do shit!. What kind of person would I have been if I sent you away. I did it cause I wanted too do it.” He responded with a stern loving tone. “And you didn’t ruin my life. I got a good job now. I got  a  wife. I got kids. I’m happy. You shouldn’t feel guilty about anything.” He said with amusement. “But, I’m not going to lie. I was jealous of you. I mean you got to live the life, I wanted. But, I understand ... there are just somethings you got to do, for yourself.” 

“Thanks for understanding. I’ll probably just hangout with some other friends, who won’t go back home for the holidays. But, I’ll definitely be there for Christmas. And, I’ll find a way to make it back up to you, for not coming to Thanksgiving.” I reply.

“Actually ... I was never going to use  it. But, after hearing how you feel, I think I know how you can make it up to  me.” He  says.

“How?” I asked.

“Let’s swap lives.” 

“What”

“Let’s  swap lives. I’ll be  in your body and you be in mine.”

“Yeah  ... I heard you the  first time ... are you okay?”

“oh ... yeah ... I know it sounds crazy but, my friends company has been working on a device to swap bodies. It’s in beta so ... so far the swap is permanent. And, we just said we always have been jealous of each other. So, now we can be each other”

“But, what about your life. I don’t know about your family dynamic. no, offense but I’m not sexually attractive to your wife. I wouldn’t make a good father. You don’t know anything about my job. If you could swap our bodies we would just mess up each other lives. And  wouldn’t you miss your wife and kids.”

“Yes I love them. But, if we swap none of that would matter. I could set it up so we have all the information we need to get through our new lives. My love for my wife and kids would  be transferred to you. All our skills will be swapped. So, you will be a good father and husband. It won’t be like I’m leaving them, because now I’m leaving them  in your hands.”

I was so confused. Did my brother snap. Is he crazy. But, experiencing my brothers happiness would be my dream come true. “Okay,  but how does it ...” And, Suddenly the phone  hanged up.  My vision became blurry. The world around me spun. And, then my vision went black.  I woke up filling heavy. I was no longer  om my couch. My suit was gone. Instead, I was in a truck. I was wearing a very dad type outfit, with a baseball cap on my head. A phone was in my hand so,  I unlocked it using my finger print. I turned on the camera. My brother’s breaded face was looking back at me. I could feel his bigger muscular body underneath the layer of  clothes he had  on.

I got a text from my phone. Thank you little bro ... or should I say big brow now lol. Hope you enjoy your new life. See you  at  Christmas. New memories flood my mind. Happy, sad, angry, scared memories . My body start seizing up. Finally, it stopped, In mere seconds, I experienced my brother’s entire life. But, I still knew I used to be my little brother. It’s an odd feeling.  But, I look at my front door. And  happiness fills my mind for the first time in a long time. I can’t wait to see my beautiful wife and kids.

A few day pass, and I hope my little  brother is enjoying his new  life. I’m sitting at the table enjoying all the food and my family. My kids are are being silly. My father-in-law is watching football. My wife’s sisters and brothers all around the table talking. my mother-in-law making sure people eat more. Being surrounded by all this love is all  I ever wanted.

Then, I get a  text. My brother sent me a picture. I see him on the far right. He actually looks happy.  his text reads, “Damn bro. It rules not being tied down. Last night, I had my first threesome with some girls. Now, I’m going have my first gay threesome, with these hot ass guys, tonight. Thanks for the swap and I hope you found everything you were looking for in your new life. I sure have. See you at Christmas, will catch up.” 

I’m glad he is happy. I’m just thankful we both are truly happy.

[stormears]

Anybody Looking to Puke Tonight

By reading some wacko internet drama that my grandfather initiated. 

I might delete this post because it’s pretty sad, weird, gross and more than a little creepy but I guess I want a few tumblr peeps to...share this nonsense with.

My grandpa is 90. My mother lives with him...because she currently can’t afford to have her own place. Hoping that will change next year. But for now, she lives with him and has to do a lot of caretaking tasks for him. Like clean/change his sheets, buy him the occasional Depends diapers, buy his groceries because he’s too weak to walk into a store, he also is nearly deaf. He can kinda-sorta hold a conversation and has a little funny wit at times, but he talks and processes things rather slowly and he knows it. 

HE ALSO IS REALLY INTO ONLINE DATING 

My grandpa loves to write poetry and has shared his poems with lots of other grandmas on old people dating sites. Typing in all caps about his old jobs and his grandkids and such. And giving his phone number to those ladies! Sometimes he talks to them and picks up the phone. Sometimes he picks up the phone and immediately hangs up. He seems to have a new lady friend every couple weeks. Or just forgets which ones he’s already talked to. 

Recently my mom saw my grandpa watching TV and holding the phone to his ear, while someone on the other end rattled on and on and on, and grandpa just looked at the TV and said flat nothing for 4 or 5 straight minutes and that person on the other line did not stop talking once. With my grandpa’s slow brain, he was probably attuned to the TV and barely hearing or understanding anything that person was saying, but he was also just, letting them blab on and on and on! My mom got weirded out and suspicious. She...PICKED UP THE PHONE TO LISTEN IN! (a second landline phone)

Creepiness incoming

And it sounded like an adult woman waxing on about “I’m so happy we can talk and you make time for me and it’s great that we’re in love and it’s great how much you love me and i’m so happy to chat with you” and my mom, hearing this, interrupted the phone call, butted in to YELL AT THAT WOMAN! 

Saying stuff like “That is my FATHER you’re talking to, do you realize he is NINETY and who the hell are you, this is so inappropriate” 

And she gets to um, chatting with the person and they claim they are age THIRTY-NINE, and named Tasha, claims she’s a woman but my mom said “I wasn’t sure if it was a woman or a gay man” and she just asked Tasha their gender and Tasha laughed at her and said “well what do YOU think” and wouldn’t answer the damn question! She just said over and over again that my grandpa and her were “in love” and that’s that! Claimed she and my grandpa have been talking for a year now. 

My mom went off on Tasha for being so psycho as to be dragging along a 90-year-old man when she is 39, saying she is either a lying bitch trying to get money from my grandpa or is so pathetic she can’t get anyone her own age to pay attention to her, even on the internet, that she has to sink so low as to begging barely-mentally-competent old men for attention!!

Tasha ignored all this and said “You can call the FBI but you can’t stop our love.”

Goddamn you Tasha! You fucking FREAK! You either ARE that pathetic or you are preying on my grandfather! 

I forget if there was anymore to the convo after that but my mom said she blocked Tasha’s number on my grandpa’s landline phone. And grandpa is soon going to stay with my aunt for the winter, and she DOESN’T have a landline (but grandpa does have a cell phone, which he never uses, but god, he could start if he wants to talk to Tasha enough) 

My mom then confronted my grandpa about this, asking why in the HELL he would carry on a relationship with someone the age of his oldest grandchildren, don’t you realize she’s psycho or using you, dad, why are you talking to someone that age, your granddaughter’s age, would you fuck your granddaughter, Dad? And she slapped the table and made him look at her and yelled “WOULD YOU FUCK YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER, DAD?” And like he often does when confronted with a question he doesn’t want to answer, grandpa hung his head like a dog being scolded and just waited for the conversation to move on. 

The only response my mom got out of him about all this is “It works for me.” Well he also said he’s been talking to “that woman” for 3 years. If Tasha said 1 year and grandpa said 3, it’s probably just 1 year in truth and grandpa just can’t remember properly.  

Mom asked if I would log on to grandpa’s laptop to try and find any messages in his usual dating websites between him and Tasha. And I was very much willing to do it, because Tasha does sound insane, and my grandpa very well could have given her his address (but he was ON the computer the entire 4 hours I was over there and we didn’t want him to know we were doing that) He’s not smart enough to order anything online so we really doubt this is just some crazy phone sex call, but he sure could just type his address or send her a letter and has done so for his various “girlfriends” before. Tasha might know where he lives. 

My mom told her older sis (the aunt that grandpa will spend the winter with) about this and aunt was just confused why my mom even butted into the convo at all, why she picked up the phone and started talking to Tasha. Imo, “leave grandpa alone so he can live his life with independence and dignity” goes out the window once grandpa shows he is not competent enough to avoid internet crazies, but auntie doesn’t think so. 

My mom told her younger bro (nearby jobless uncle on disability who probably cheated the system to get it, tbh, is a harmless nice guy but lazy af and rather spineless imo) and she actually had him on the line to listen to the Tasha convo...by having him on speaker on her cell phone I think, in proximity to grandpa’s landline phone. And uncle actually got riled up and yelled at Tasha too, which I sure did not expect! He told her to stay the heck away from his father, and he supported my mom blocking Tasha’s number. But auntie and mom got into a bit of a fight about it because auntie would never have gotten involved in this. Well, auntie. You can have fun with grandpa’s “independence” once he’s at your house and you have the job of picking him up when he constantly falls on the floor, making dinners for him because he can’t figure out the microwave anymore or be trusted with the oven, doing his laundry for him and wiping his occasional accidental shitstain. Love ya, auntie but ughh grow a brain. 

Thanks for reading, if you did. 

My grandpa has had his “online dating” life for a long time, it’s one of his very few hobbies nowadays besides reading large-print books and watching PBS programming. But it’s never extended to...a weirdo like this. A person who I didn’t mentally write off straightaway. Tasha freaks me out a bit. 

Now there’s tension between my grandpa and mom now because he’s angry that she butted into his business and she’s angry and sad and kinda disgusted at knowing these poor judgement calls and probable sexual desires of her own really old father. They live in a tiny house and he kind of needs her to survive, so they can’t ever really get away from each other, but it just sucks for her now. She can’t afford her own house, her job sucks, she has no hobbies or friends besides hanging out with me way too fucking much, feels she has no future or financial security, no one in the family wants to speak to her because she’s, well, kind of a raging overbearing bitch, and now her dad is pissed off at her too. Sucks to be her. It really does.  

[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 036 [Hero Law]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,840

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“There are ten million souls who are feeling like you. And ten million more who are finding the truth. Then it feels like you’re right where you belong, when ten million voices are one.” Shaman’s Harvest, “Ten Million Voices”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

“Mwah~! I healed you enough that you should be able to walk, but be careful,” Gran told Izuku softly, who was breathing heavily and looked exhausted.

“Thank you very much, ma’am.” His green eyes fell on his scarred right hand.

“That’s what you get for overusing your quirk in a short time frame.” She scolded him. “Consider your crooked right hand as a warning from now on. And just so you know, I will not heal injuries like these anymore.” She sent a stern look to Toshi. “You must find a new way for him to use his power. There has to be an option that’s not so self-destructive.”

I glanced at Toshi before clearing my throat. “Come on, Zuku.” I helped him off the bed, keeping my arm across his back as he limped out of the room. Toshi followed, walking on his other side.

“A new way of using your quirk…” Toshi mused.

“Hey, All Might.”

“Huh?”

“Remember when you told me why you came to U.A. in the first place? To find a worthy successor to inherit One for All…”

“Yeah.”

Izuku stopped walking, his back to us. “I put everything I had into the sports festival… but still, there were other competitors who fought for the victory harder than I did. So… maybe…” He sounds so sad, so broken. My heart squeezed painfully as I pulled him closer to me.

“You’re thinking it might be better for someone else to be my successor. Yes?”

“…yes.”

“You speak the truth. This place is full of incredible potential heroes. One for All is a crystallization of power, it bolsters quirks. For example, if young Todoroki were to inherit it, the strength added to his own quirk would probably make him an unbeatable superhero.”

I glared at the blonde. That may be true but damn, don’t kick ’em when he’s down, bro. And I thought I was bad at fucking comforting people, jeez.

“Then…”

“But you know, I was quirkless, too, as a kid.”

His eyes widened and he turned around to face him. “Quirkless? Seriously?”

Toshi smiled. “Back then, it wasn’t as rare of a thing, but it was still out of the ordinary. Even though I didn’t have a power of my own, I had someone who believed in my potential. My master gave me One for All and raised me to become a hero.”

“You never told me that!”

“It’s not my fault you never asked,” he shrugged. “Which is honestly surprising!”

I scoffed, sending him a grin. “That’s such a childish response.”

“I just can’t believe the number one hero was quirkless…”

“It’s true. When we first met, I saw a little bit of the old me in you, but kid, you’ve gone beyond my expectations time and time again. One day, you’re gonna do incredible things with One for All. That’s something I truly believe.”

Tears filled his eyes, voice strangled as he tried to hold them back. “I’ll do my best…”

I chuckled, pulling him into my arms, careful of the wounds he had. “I trust Toshi a hundred percent. He believed in you enough to choose you to inherit his power, Zuku, that’s not a decision he would take lightly. Of course, it ain’t gonna be easy, it never is. You’re gonna face a lot of setbacks with that over-powered quirk within you, but you gotta remember that you’re not fighting alone. We’ve got your back and we both believe in you, so have some faith in yourself, kid.”

He nodded and I felt my neck grow wet. I chuckled, running my hand through his hair.

Toshi smiled at me, nodding his head in thanks. “Anyway, the sports festival isn’t over yet. Get out there, you don’t want to miss the end.”

“Right,” Zuku pulled away, wiping at his eyes. “Your next match is up soon, right, Jen?”

“Yeah, about that…” I sweatdropped, scratching my cheek. “I was disqualified from going forward.” They both stared at me for a moment, processing the information, before their eyes grew wide.

“D-Disqualified?!”

“What did you do, young Jen?!”

“That brat Monoma from 1-B was talkin’ shit about our class. I warned him to shut up but he kept running his mouth so I shut it for him. I guess he ran and told on me and I was forced to forfeit my next match.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t remove you entirely!” Toshi sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his head. “I can’t believe you did that…”

“Really?” I raised a brow and he sweatdropped.

“You’re right, I can definitely believe it…”

I chuckled, glancing at Zuku. “Katsuki’s gonna be so~ pissed when he finds out.”

Zuku gave me a nervous smile. “Definitely…”

“Anyway, let’s get back. The others are probably dying of worry over you, kiddo.” I ruffled his hair and he nodded, heading down the hall.

“Jen.”

I paused, glancing back at Toshi with a raised brow.

“Did they say that it was Monoma that turned you in?”

“No?”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

When we finally made it back to the arena, the match between Kiri and Bakugo was underway. We stopped by the railing at the top of one of the seating areas, not wanting to miss the match.

“Kirishima and Kacchan,” Zuku mused. “So that would mean Ashido and Tokoyami finished their match already…”

I patted his head. “You can always watch the video when you get home.”

“I know,” he pouted. “But it’s not the same as seeing it live.”

“Bakugo is having a heck of a time dodging Kirishima’s fierce attacks!”

“Woah, Kacchan’s on the defensive? I guess Kirishima’s quirk seems simple on the surface, but it’s still effective.”

“Midoriya!” Iida came up from the hallway behind us, his smile dropping a bit when he saw me. “Winchester.”

I grunted, turning back to the match. I leaned over, resting my arms on the railing.

He cleared his throat. “I take it that your surgery must have gone well. I’m glad!”

“Yeah, thank you. Is Ingenium excited that you made it so far? He must be so proud of his little brother.”

“Hm, I’m not sure. I tried calling him earlier, but he was working.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, it’s for the best. To be quite frank, I’m worried that he might be disappointed that I lost.” He glanced at me again, which I ignored.

“Waha! Bakugo is countering again! But what’s this?! It seems to be working this time!”

Waha? Is Mic channeling his inner Waluigi? I hummed, propping my cheek against my palm. “Looks like Kiri’s finally running out of stamina,”

“The finishing blow!” Bakugo yelled. “Die!!”

I sighed deeply, hanging my head. That dumbass. The audience is already on the fence about how villainous he may be, he shouldn’t be making it worse.

“Kirishima has been knocked out! Bakugo is the winner!” Midnight announced.

“With that vicious knockout, Bakugo advances to the fourth round! Ladies and gentlemen, our final four! Wait, what? There are only three students on the screen!”

Midnight raised her voice. “Due to a… technicality, Jen Winchester will not be participating in round four! Todoroki automatically advances!”

“A technicality?! Who could have predicted this upset, folks?!”

“I did,” Aizawa grunted, making me sweatdrop. “Idiot.”

Thanks for the comforting words, Dadzawa. Means a lot, bro.

Iida’s brow furrowed. “A technicality?”

I sent him a blank look. “I punched a kid from class B.”

He straightened his back, an annoyed look on his face. “Why would you do something like that? You and Bakugo are always acting so selfishly! How do you think that makes class A look?!”

“Hah?” I stood up straight. He only had about half-an-inch on me height-wise. “News flash, elite, I don’t live my life around other people. I don’t base my choices on your sensitive ass feelings. You don’t like how I act? Tough shit. No skin off my bones, bro.”

“You’re so rude and disrespectful! How did you even get into this school? From what I’ve seen, you have zero drive to even be a hero!” His fists clenched. “All of us are working so hard to become heroes, even Bakugo, though I don’t approve of his actions, but you clearly don’t care. You’re taking up a valuable spot that someone else could be using! Not only that but during the USJ incident, that villain knew your name. No one hardly knows anything about you!”

“I-Iida, Jen, please calm down.” Zuku looked between the two of us, swallowing nervously.

I grinned, taking a step closer. “And just who the fuck are you to decide that, hmm? We’re on the same fucking level here. You’re not above me or anyone else for that matter. Why I’m here is my business, not yours. How I act is my fucking business, not yours. And my motivations? You guessed it, my business, not yours. So get fucked, prep, and get the fuck out my face before you end up like Monoma.”

“Guys, please…”

I hummed, glancing at him. “Zuku, go sit with the rest of the class. I need some space.”

“O-Okay…”

I sent Iida one last grin before walking away, my shoulder bumping his as I did so. God, that fucker gets on my last fucking nerve. He always knows just what buttons to press to get me riled up. I shoulda punched his ass harder when I had the fucking chance. With a sigh, I headed for the side door, passing the guard that had been posted there to prevent people from getting inside. The door opened up to a small grassy area.

I leaned back against the tree, sliding down until my ass hit the ground, my head lent back to stare at the azure sky through the gaps in the leaves. A small part of me couldn’t help but wonder if Iida is right to some degree. Do I deserve to be here? Am I ruining the chance for some other kid that dreams of being a hero? Being a hero doesn’t interest me at all. I wonder, if the class knew that, would they change their view of me? Their opinion is already pretty fucked when it comes to me. It’s not like I came here of my own free will, ya know. I was forced to come to this school, but…

I don’t regret coming here. Even if these kids hate me, I’ve developed a soft spot for them. More than anything, I just want them to be happy and safe. I guess… in a way… my dream is to see them achieve their dreams. When I first came here, I never planned on caring for any of them, but now that I do, I don’t want them to end up like Gramps.

I held my hand out, watching the flames dance across my palm. I molded and shaped them until they formed a red robin, tilting its head curiously. Iida’s right, I don’t want to be a hero, but I still have something that drives me. I’ll use this power within me to protect class A and make life easier for Toshi and Aizawa.

My stomach started to growl angrily and I huffed, pulling myself to my feet. I walked around the outside of the stadium until I came to the front where the food stalls were. Most of the customers were inside watching the matches, so the entrance was nearly deserted. I headed straight for the taco stand, but Ojin was gone and a little sign had been taped to the front that simply read ‘closed :)’. My head fell down onto the wood. Goddamn it, I guess I’m not getting my third helping of tacos today. What a cruel fucking world this is.

My stomach growled again. Yeah, I fucking heard you the first fucking time, take a pill. My eyes scanned the other food stalls. Most of them were empty, the owners having packed up and returned home since the festival would soon end, or inside the building watching the last of the matches. I spotted the Woodsman patrolling nearby and headed toward him. “Oi.”

He turned around. “Oh, hello! Shimatsu-san asked me to tell you thanks if I saw you again.”

“Thanks? For what?”

He pointed to my head. Oh right, I forgot about the headband. I had put it back on after the cavalry battle ended. “After the first half of the festival, his stand got a lot of attention from customers because of your advertisement. He sold out of product fairly quick.”

I grinned. “Ho~ Looks like I did somethin’ useful today. By the way, I wanted to thank you for finding Riku’s brother.”

He nodded and it felt as if he were smiling, but I couldn’t be sure with the mask covering his mouth. “Of course, that’s part of a hero’s job. I caught some of your match against Iida. You’re pretty strong, but you lack resolve.”

I groaned, throwing my head back. “Yeah, I fucking know.”

He patted my shoulder. “It was obvious to me that you were holding back quite a bit. I’m not sure if it’s because you lack something driving you forward, or if there’s an underlying issue that prevented you from using your strength at its full potential but don’t lose heart. Tell me, why do you desire to be a hero?”

“I don’t,” I responded blankly. His eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t have to say it, I know it’s weird as fuck and I don’t belong at U.A., but it don’t matter. I’ll become stronger and I’ll protect my family. I don’t need the title of hero to do that, right?”

He shook his head. “If you didn’t belong here, you wouldn’t be here. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re still young. And you’re not wrong, you don’t have to have the title of hero to protect the people you love, but it can complicate things.”

“How so?” I raised a brow and he seemed confused for a moment.

“You don’t know about hero laws?”

Uhh… I scratched my cheek, closing my eyes as I wracked my brain. Hero laws… didn’t Toshi teach a class about that? Or was it Cementoss…

“She’s totally not gonna make it as a pro if she can’t even remember the hero laws,” came an annoying female voice, popping a ball of Takoyaki into her mouth.

“Mt. Lady, I’m trying to cheer her up!” He scolded.

“Hmph, no point in lying to her, Kamui.”

“I wasn’t lying!”

“Listen kid,” she pointed the empty toothpick at my face. “It doesn’t matter why you want to be a hero, all that matters is that you have some sort of reason! You may not like the title of hero, but if you want to use that quirk of yours, you don’t have a choice.”

I scowled. “Okay fine, let’s say I was absent for that class. Gimme a TL;DR for the laws.”

“TL;DR?” She tilted her head, her finger on her chin. “What in the world is that?”

I clicked my tongue. “I knew you were old.”

“What did you just say you brat?! I’ll have you know I’m only twenty-two!”

“Sure you are.”

“Why you -”

Kamui sighed, resting his hand over his face. “Basically, quirks can not be used by any non-licensed hero, unless used for self-defense purposes, but this is quite a blurred line and most times, you can get into trouble even if it is self-defense. Because of this, it’s impossible to protect people without becoming a hero unless you choose to break the law and become a vigilante, which I highly encourage you not do.”

“A vigilante, huh?” I hummed, holding my chin. “So like Batman.”

“Batman? Who is that?” Mt. Lady questioned. “And do not call me old again!”

Kamui panicked, waving his hands frantically. “Forget I said anything! Vigilante’s are as bad as villains!” He sighed deeply. “Tell me, Winchester, what is it you want right now?”

“A taco.”

“Not to eat! What do you want out of being here at U.A.?”

“To get stronger.”

“For what purpose?”

“To protect the people I love.”

He nodded, grabbing both of my shoulders. “Then that is your drive for becoming a hero. You may not like the title or everything that comes along with the job, but it’s the best way to ensure the safety of those you hold dear.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You’ll be a great hero one day, Winchester.”

“Not a vigilante?”

“No!”

“Fine~” I grinned. “Thanks for the advice, bro.”

“Yeah, she’s not cute at all.” Mt. Lady commented. “You’ll get so much farther if you flaunt what you got, girl.”

The two of us just looked at her blankly as she approached a Yakitori stand and started to flirt with the owner to get free food.

“Winchester?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t be a hero like her, please.”

“Not a fucking chance in hell.”

“And Winchester?”

“Yup.”

“Is there really a vigilante named Batman?”

“Fictional character.”

Kamui let out a sigh of relief.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

▸ Forward

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 2: The Racism of the Conductor’s Baton (Part 4)

BRIGHT: Even having lived in this all his life, Dave nearly gives himself a serious injury launching stuff out of his sylladex. This is a bit more nerve-wracking than John launching PDAs and towels out of the window.

TIER: I'm personally amazed that he hasn't lost any bits to improper handling of fireworks. That shit can really fuck someone that doesn't know what they're doing up, especially a small kid is at risk of losing some fingers.

CHEL: Particularly when he disposes of them in the garbage disposal - that in itself would probably be okay if one soaked the fireworks in the sink but the blades could possibly cause a spark with the metal filings in the firework… I don’t know if that’s possible but the fact that he chooses to dispose of fireworks that way implies to me that he doesn’t know how to safely handle them. I wouldn’t risk it that way myself.

TIER: Realistically the Strider home is just a huge accident waiting to happen, between all the dangerous stuff just out in the open and strewn about in precarious spots and the fetish puppets piled all over.

CHEL: Speaking of which, Dave notices “HELLO DAVE” written in sloppy bright red inside a jigsaw-piece outline on the crawlspace hatch. Dave knows it’s a mind game but opens the hatch anyway, spilling out a huge pile of Smuppets which completely envelops him. It is from here he sent his previously-seen rant to Rose. Which of course we now have to read again…

GET ON WITH IT!: 8

Now, I must mention here that, in most works, the random jumping around in time would be a count of its own for me. I hate it when that happens, it’s unnecessarily confusing. However, there is an ongoing theme of time, time-travelling, and changing timelines in Homestuck, so it at least serves to introduce us to that.

A note pinned to the hatch with a batarang reads thusly, in mismatched fonts/colours, reading eerily as if two people were writing:

bro. roof. now. bring cal. where doing it man where MAKING THIS HAPEN

At least Bro encourages Dave’s writing project, as that latter part is a SBaHJ reference.

I think we all wanted to see Dave take out some frustration on those things.

Back to John, after making a little fort with the cruxite dowels and bedsheets, he uses the Totem Lathe to make the “totems” of various item codes. As I mentioned above, I feel like this is an unnecessary step in the creation process. Why not just have a way to enter the code directly into the Alchemiter? Anyway, Rose uses the previously-useless “Shale” stash to create some more captchalogue cards, increasing John’s inventory size, and recreate the pogo ride and hammer lost to the punched cards. A randomly-entered code produces a rocket pack with a violin, cinderblock, and flower pot halfway merged inside it, leaving it unusable for its intended purpose but heavy enough to kill imps.

John looks through a copy of “Harry Anderson: Wise Guy” by Mike Caveney, encountering the hole-in-the-ace, or “A-Hole”, card trick. Silly name given here aside, it’s a real trick and the way shown is really how you do it. It gives John an idea, and he overlaps two punched cards and uses them both together, creating this.

FAILURE ARTIST: John is smarter than people give him credit for.

CHEL: Yeah, on further examination I don’t think my assumption that he didn’t know who Obama was was being very fair to him. He’s certainly easily distracted, but I don’t think any of the various cast members can truly be described as stupid.

The Pogo Hammer works fine in that it allows him to kill an imp with a single blow, but it sends him and the pogo ride the imp was on flying in the process. Fortunately, Rose is able to move his bed quickly enough to catch him. Unfortunately, those larger monsters are still slowly approaching… Exactly how fucking slowly do these things move? It’s not like the distance they have to cover is huge in proportion to their bodies.

John asks Rose why she can’t just lift the bed up to the gate with him on it, but the game doesn’t allow for that - Rose guesses it’s considered cheating. Against Rose’s advice, John decides to nap, lulled by the hypnotic spirograph of the gate, while Rose experiments with the alchemy system. Deciding to sleep while still surrounded by imps adds to our count again:

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 3

If he has time to nap, he ought to have time to emotionally react, too.

We see Rose in the mausoleum again, the fire getting closer and closer in the window, sparks of firelight flickering around her. Concerned that Dave isn’t helping her, she checks the SBurb server CD for a code to send to John so he can be her server player instead, but it has no code. Outside, the generator overheats and blows, and Rose’s laptop finally shuts down.

Another animation shows what is presumably, and is later confirmed to be, John’s dreams. From a spirograph in a clear blue sky emerge clouds, which take on the forms of John’s dad’s face and various items such as the green ghost, a birthday cake, and a harlequin, the largest and final cloud coalescing into the silhouette of a long-haired girl about John’s age who is obviously not Rose; this, we can guess, is probably GG. This fades into quick flashes of spirographs and pumpkins, and John wakes, surprised, to find GG is messaging him.

TIER: GG once more hints at knowing more about what's happening (like the fact that John's dead nanna is around to give him advice), but is apparently waiting for a specific time to say what exactly. Curiouser and curiouser.

BRIGHT: She also tells John that he needs to wake up. This sounds like a setup for an “It was all just a dream!” twist, but what she actually means is a lot weirder. It takes quite a while to get to that point, however!

TIER: Then there's a Fucking Huge Imp that's decided to impersonate King Kong and it is terrifying, who let this happen. We've got what looks like a boss battle brewing babes!

And then we cut back to Dave, who ascends to the roof with the demon puppet from somewhere worse than hell as instructed in a pretty dope looking and sounding flash. And with another sneak at his elusive as shit bro, we...

Get psyched, and then there's a new kid brought to our attention. Someone that looks quite a bit like the silhouette that showed up in John's little nap

And THEN

We get A Double Psycheout Combo as we go back to the Wayward Vagabond, who is not here for this Retrieve Arms running gag. What he is however is hungry, seeing as he scarfs down a rotten pumpkin between one frame and the next. He also doesn't have the ability to captchalogue stuff, so that's a thing he's got going for him.

Another thing to note is that he has some kind of barcode that brings back “unpleasant memories” he'd rather not think about. After getting some more cans (cans for days my dudes) he promptly declares himself the mayor of Can Town, there presumably being not much else to do while inside the room he's in. Dude seems fond of democracy, and quite obviously has issues with kings.

The guy seems to have an amusing (to me at least) thing about eating green things, nothing is safe. Not even uranium. And though the two green sticks have been munched, the rest of the chalk is used for its intended purpose. He doodles up a town layout, a chess board (with an assist from some motor oil), and then covers the walls in strange planets. A golden planet with a moon, four peculiar planets without anything orbiting them, and pretty separate from the rest a purple mirror to the golden planet. Damn dude this entire wall smells like foreshadowing.

We get a look at the strange screen thingy again, John's window still the only one showing anything, and WV is not familiar enough with whatever this contraption is to turn on the dead screens.

He the manages to accidentally bust out some kind of soda stash and it's like Christmas has come early in the bunker. It's like watching a kid get into the super sugary drinks.

CHEL: Specifically, it’s a reference to this, except it works: "The Simpsons- Homer's first day at work at Home!/" (Watch on YouTube)

TIER:

With that out of the way, we're back to the weird machine, which can show more than John apparently! The other screens are garbled though, especially screen three brings up so many questions. Like seriously what in the fresh hell is that, that right there is worthy of a round of “people not in the fandom explain what's happening”.

There's a countdown visible as well, spanning all four screens, and it gets more or less locked into that. WV then proceeds to shoot the shit for nearly four hecking hours, leaving 13 minutes to go on the countdown.

[supergenial]

Cindered Shadows was pretty decent

I recently finished the Cindered Shadows DLC and decided to once again write about my impressions, don't worry though, this one isn't as long as the previous ones. Spoilers: I think this is as good as fire emblem is gonna get for a while.

1) No Agarthans, thank GOD

A story as old as fire emblem: There's an interesting human villain with down to earth motivations or obsessions, but in the large scale of the story they're overshadowed by a supernatural being who wants to destroy the world for no reason other than "they're just evil". This is Edelgard and the Agarthans, Arvis and Manfroy/Loptous, Rudolph and Duma, Ashnard and Ashera, Walhart and Grima... you get it. This shit sucks to put it bluntly. Having these stereotypically evil bad guys who are clearly evil is one of the main things that brings down the plot of any fire emblem game. I'm of the belief that they should kick out these supernatural villains and just leave us against the human villains, the one's with actual ideals and beliefs other than "hurr durr, destroy the world".

And then there’s our villain for this DLC. Now yes, it feels like they recycled a certain professor from the Harry Potter series, but I like that he is "The" bad guy for the DLC, he's not being controlled by anyone. He's obsessed with Byleth's mom and in-game this makes a lot of sense. If Byleth, who is incapable of communication, can drive people crazy for them just by existing then just imagine a Byleth who can actually talk. Her "waifu" charms must be off the charts, so I can't blame this guy for being obsessed. More importantly he's not being controlled by the Agarthans, he's not being played by anyone. He's a man who's lived a righteous life, he took care of a lot of people who all love him but ultimately decided to use them for his own gain and his own obsessions. As far as FE villains go... He's good, honestly, great job Intelligent Systems, I expected a lot less.

2) Reduced avatar wanking

Shots fucking fired

Sure, Byleth's mom is a main focus of the plot, and Byleth is the one who sets the plot in motion, but rarely does it feel like the game is going "gee Player, you're so great, you're our god, we all love you and want to marry you". Byleth still plays a large role sure (unfortunately) but it still feels like this is the story of Yuri and his gang with Byleth being their strategist which is, idk, way better than the idea behind the main game? The one where Byleth turns into a literal god, gets every achievement of the army attributed to them only, has every other conversation remind us how glorious Byleth is, etc.

In fact the dlc goes as far as having Hapi constantly belittle Byleth and even make fun of their communication skills by calling him Chatterbox (good job to the localizers, she doesn’t say this in the japanese audio). Get that teacher’s ass girl, destroy them. (Obviously I would hate this behavior if it was directed to someone else, but in this case I'm willing to make a concession).

3) Yuri's backstory

Ashe: I admire and love this man who is my only parental figure but Rhea said he's kind of bad so I killed him Yuri: Church ordered me to kill a bunch of thieves and delinquents and I refused

You have no idea who much I love the fact that Yuri is someone who protested his orders and got kicked out of the church for refusing to kill civillians. This instantly sends him very high in my rankings. Playing through the first half of the game all I wanted was to stop and say "No, Lady Rhea, fuck you. I don't think it's very cash money for the most powerful military force in the continent to eradicate a lightly armed militia of farmers (with popular support in their locality!)" this is what true imperialism is all about! But there is sadly no option for that.

Just by telling us that Yuri is someone who was punished for saying "No, these orders are inhumane, I refuse to carry them out" that is enough for me, the game is saying "yes, we know, have your compensation price". In the end Yuri is extremely loyal to Rhea which is unfortunate but hey, at least they lampshaded one of the most glaring issues I have with the main game, so that's at least something.

4) "You've obtained all information. Proceed with the story, NOW"

Rather than wasting time forever thinking up which activity I should carry out, abyss is simply a place where you talk to the abyssal denizens to get some plot information or speculation, and boom, you're done. No running around forever, no quests, no doors that take ages to load. You can perfectly skip the abyss parts and at most you'll miss out on Edelgard's conversation with Dimiri (which is fucking hilarious) and a few rusted weapons that can be forged but that's it. Upon talking to every resident of the abyss the game will actually say you’ve acquired all information and will prompt you to go into combat rather than assume you want to dilly dally for a while.

I actually rather like this and would not be opposed to it being the philosophy behind future in-between segments between chapters. I can understand IntSys wanting to load in a ton of features like a sauna and fishing to rack up excitement for the game, I know I was excited for fishing, but when these activities have rewards tied to them, replaying becomes kind of a chore, "aw geez, I have to fish 69 fish to reach professor rank A+ AGAIN" (I actually had to when trying to get the piss screen from clearing maddening). Getting only some conversations and a bit of context for the story, that's... pretty good honestly, I liked this better than the monastery and better than My Castle. Throw in some skits with multiple characters at once and I’m gold

(seriously how come there’s no scenes with the three of the bros, Dimitri, Sylvain and Felix all hanging out together, the fact that a third character never shows up in support conversations is fucking bad)

5) Sometimes less is more

I've extensively complained about three houses already but bear with me. Yet another thing that infuriates me about the game is the extensive amount of work it required. I truly do think that if they had released only the blue lions route and left everything else in the plot as mysterious and unexplained loose ends left entirely up to speculation, that'd be a great game on it's own. Instead I have to see all the hard work that went into making the other routes only so that, in the end, they just had me going "well it was ok I guess". Every scene in the game requires work, many hours of coding, writing, voice acting, sound editing, making sure the models don't look too messed up, bug testing, etc. The amount of work that went into three houses was brutal regardless of what you think of the final product, yet a lot of people didn't even bother playing through all of that. So yes, I honestly wanted less, give me a more concise game rather than spreading too wide and ending up thin.

Cindered Shadows on the other hand is concise to a fault to make up for that. The story is pretty straightforward and leaves no loose ends to itself, there's no anime cutscenes, no supports (within abyss, you can support them all in the main game). There's even that very awkward sacrifice scene where some characters are having their life and blood drained from them yet the visual representation we see is just them standing around like normal, with Yuri even doing that hand pose he does all the time instead of squirming in pain or something. It's very awkward looking, objectively not good, but it gets the point across and doesn't make me go "wow you put in all this effort for nothing" because the whole thing is also fairly short (5 to 10 hours in hard mode).

I know, it sounds like I'm shitting on the dlc, but the point is I'd much rather get something short that leaves me satisfied than something like the main game that makes me go "this could've been so hecking gooood if they changed X" for the rest of my life.

6) The gameplay

Chapter 4 is my favorite mission in the whole game

They made Hard Mode good. I previously said maddening was the one difficulty where this game made sense, but this one achieves perfection with just hard mode. This is because the team actually knows what you have. In the main game there's all sorts of variables to account for due to the large amount of player expression that is possible, you can reclass anyone into anything and throughout many lucky or unlucky level ups, maps can be entirely different based on that rng and choices. Here though, your characters already have solid bases starting at lvl 20, and you can't reclass too much so the devs know exactly what you're working with and can plan accordingly. Beating the maps feels incredibly satisfying not just because the objectives have more variety now, but also because you feel like you found the right way to use the tools you were given. This is why the first few chapters of any fire emblem game often feel so good, because the devs know exactly what you have.

Not that I think player expression is bad! It's very satisfying to warp skip chapters and to use broken units like battalion vantage+wrath Dimitri as these things make you feel like you've truly subjugated the game, but it takes some time for those things to really take off. There's a time to reap and a time to sow, and the sowing time can get pretty dull sometimes but that's what makes the payoff feel worth it. Still, for a short experience like cindered shadows is, this style just fits perfectly, plus chapter 4 has quickly become one of my favorite chapters in the whole game, along with chapter 6.

7) In The End

Idk folks, I just like it. If you just want more adventures with the three lords, this is it.

If you’re looking for any excuses to avoid this I'd say the better ones are: maps are reused from the main game (they work much better here though), it's 10 hours at most so it's price-to-cash ratio isn't very good with the expansion pass being $30, and also the Abysskeeper feels a bit TOO winkwink nudgenudge to me, especially since Gatekeeper was popular enough to make it into Super Smash Brothers. Like yeah bro, we get it, we all love Gatekeeper, you didn't have to do this.

I also like that they finally gave Dimitri a semi-problematic quote where he says he kinda likes the idea of poor people living underground out of sight, I think it’s a very rich-white-boy flaw to have and not entirely awful given his life experience up to that point. And yes I do think he has no flaws and is entirely unproblematic in the main game, “feral” as he may look it doesn’t seem like he goes around killing civilians or doing anything other than busting up imperial troops which is kind of justified since they started the invasion, on top that he’s the strongest unit in the game and the most chill and honest ruler once he calms down, so little dent in his record that’s irrelevant in the large picture is indeed welcome.

Overall though, after being so massively disappointed by the Fates DLC, so much I didn't even bother with the ones for Echoes, I certainly like what I'm seeing here and that's a good sign, bravo Intsys.

[heros-amoung-us]

Night Club AU

Part 5: End of the Night

“Jesus girl, why did you drink so much?”

A section of hair stuck to your face as you tried pulling Ochaco’s blackout drunk body up from the employee’s room couch. You huffed out a frustrated breath as your arms went shaky and weak, letting Uraraka’s dead weight sink back down into the old piece of furniture. She peacefully snored into a plush velvet red pillow. You glared down at her.

She really gets off easy by blacking out huh?

You shook the shakiness out of your arms and dipped them back down, gliding them under Ochako’s armpits. You grunted as you tried lifting her weight once again, pulling her upper body slightly off the couch.

Doesn’t have to deal with crazy League Club members…

Your bare feet froze against the cool hardwood floor in the employee’s room. You sucked in a breath as you unsuccessfully attempted to drag her body off the couch. The cut on your arm sending shots of aching pain into your fingertips.

Doesn’t have to help close the club…

A sad sign left your lips as your muscles gave up and you let your friend/co-worker fall back down into the soft couch.

And now…how the hell am I going to get you in a cab?

Bringing your hand to your head, you ran your fingers softly through your hair. Staring down at Uraraka, your gaze softened.

You and Uraraka were the last employees in the building. After the club had closed for the night, you changed into your comfortable clothes; an oversized blue quarter zip sweater and an old pair of black leggings. The sweater hung off your body like a pillow case, ending just past your bum. The sleeves were slightly too long and hung past your hands, but you liked it that way.

Mina and Toru left shortly after the whole “incident” with the dancer that had gotten injured. The rest of the dancers decided they didn’t feel safe sticking around tonight, so they left early too. Iida trusted you in locking the club once everyone had left, as he had to run to the police department to fill out papers regarding the assault and go see a doctor about his most-definite broken nose. Tsuyu, Momo, and Izuku offered to help you take Uraraka home, but you reassured them you would be fine on your own (which you now painfully regretted). You two have been working together for years, and you both came up with a system of taking care of each other when you got a little (or a lot) too drunk. You would bring her back to your apartment and let her crash on your bed, while you took the couch. And vise-versa for you at her’s. The mornings usually consisted of greasy brunch takeout, Advil’s, and lots of laughs about the night before.

Alright. Just gotta get you off this couch, into a cab, and up to my apartment, then we’re home free girl. Then it’s laying down on a comfy bed…or couch for me…and French fries and waffles in the morning!

Determination ran through your veins as you grabbed onto Ochako’s shoulders and pulled her upper body into an upright position. You quickly dug your arms under her armpits and began trying to pull her up with all your strength.

Suddenly, the door to the employee’s room busted open. You squeaked and jumped in surprise, thinking this entire time that you were the only person in the building. Your eyes immediately darted to the door and your surprised expression turned into that of confusion. Your brain blanked as you tried to stutter out a sentence.

“B-Bakugou? What are you still doing here? The club closed half an hour ago.”

The tree of a man stood in the doorway with his hands resting in his pockets. “You think I don’t know that?! We’ve been waiting for your weak ass this whole goddamn time! Hurry the fuck up! What are you even doing?! You can’t lift this broad up or something?! She looks like she weighs 50 pounds!”

Your cheeks and ears heated up intensely as he stared at you. “N-NO! I’ve got everything under control, thank you very much! You guys just leave, don’t keep waiting for me! I’ve gotta get a cab anyways!” You grunted as you readjusted your grip on Ochako.

The blond rolled his eyes, his expression narrowing and his features scowling. He began stomping in your direction. Your heart pounded in your chest; the oh-so-familiar attraction your body felt for him sending a soft shock through your thighs.

“A-ah! Seriously you’re not supposed to be back here! I’m locking up tonight, so you and your friends should just leave! No need to wait for me!” you stated rather unconvincingly, voice wavering as you felt a droplet of lust plummet into your stomach and cause a rippling effect of sensations through your body. His intoxicating ruby eyes never left yours. You were so focused on his muscles and handsome features you barely noticed him lift Ochako out of your grasp and throw her over his broad shoulder.

You snapped out of your thoughts at how easy Bakugou had lifted her. Like she weighed nothing, yet here you were for 30 minutes still trying to get her upper body off the couch.

“H-hey!” You protested, reaching your arms up to grab your friend.

Bakugou turned around and began walking towards the employee door once again. Ochako’s arms hung over his shoulder and down his large muscular back.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!” You yelled, quickly following behind him.

Bakugou turned around suddenly, making you bump into his solid chest. Your cheeks heated up once again as you felt just how ripped he was. It was like bumping into a brick wall. His stared burned into the top of your head. A hot shiver ran down your body.

You quickly stepped away and apologized softly.

The corners of Bakugou’s lips turned up into a small smirk as he stared down at your red cheeks and listened to your soft flustered voice. He turned around, facing the door once again.

“I’m driving you home,” Your heart rate picked up in your chest. “So, get your shit and let’s go.”

What the hell is with this dude? AND WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ME?! Hormones, please calm yourselves down already!

“W-what? That’s a really kind offer but I can’t accept it.” You protested. Bakugou looked down at you over his shoulder, not expecting that answer.

“And why the hell not?” He asked, confused and slightly irritated.

You took a deep breath in, feeling gravity slowly begin to pull on your tired body.

“You expect me to just accept a ride home with a man I only met a few hours ago? I’m sorry but that is out of the question!” You stated, putting your foot down. “I appreciate what you and your friends did tonight, helping us out with those two attackers, even if you didn’t need to step in or anything. But I can take care of myself and my friend. Your offer is appreciated but not needed.”

Your stubbornness surprised and intrigued the tall blond. He turned his body back around to face you.

“Is that so?”

You nodded, your eyebrows knitted together in determination.

You knew this man had some sort of spell over you, but you certainly weren’t going to let him know that. And you didn’t want that spell to make you obey everything he said. Him and his friends were certainly handsome, heck, they looked like reincarnations of gods, but you were around handsome men al lot with work, you weren’t about to let these boys run your life. You already felt some-what guilty (and grateful of course) that they ended up in the middle of dangerous club affairs, even if they voluntarily put themselves in it. They were doing so much for you and you had just met them a few hours ago. How is it that they cared so much?

Katsuki clenched his teeth, causing his jawline to flex. Your breath hitched in your throat as you stared at his gorgeous face. His sturdy and tall body towering in front of you. Heat from your cheeks washed down your face and spread into your chest. The blond took a step closer to you, his cologne washing over your senses and pulling you deeper into a trance. He had that sexy man smell; the one that smells like a California king bed in a pine wood cabin. You felt the inside of your thighs tingle as you took another breath of it in.

He dipped his head down to yours. Your faces only a few inches apart. You watched his ruby eyes stare at your lips, then drift up to your eyes. The heat in your chest dripped down into your stomach.

“I don’t really think you have much of an option right now, angel face. Seeing as you could barely lift your friend here off that couch.” His minty, warm breath graced over the tops of your cheeks.

You swallowed as his words crashed into you. He was right. You had been getting no where before this. You felt your body leaning towards his, an instinctual need to be closer. You wanted to press yourself up against his chest and really feel his muscles. Oh, how easy it would be to just touch him. You were already so close. You could feel the heat from his body radiating off him and warming your chest.

“Now don’t be stubborn and grab your shit. Or else I’m leaving your ass here and taking your friend with me.” His deep voice echoed against your face. You looked at his lips. Only a breath away from touching yours.

Blinking, you felt your eyelids weigh half as much as they did before. Your fatigue pulling you out of your lusty trance. “Fine.” You tiredly answered, turning around and walking towards your locker. “But only this one time.”

Reaching into your locker, you grabbed your dufflebag and the key to the locks on the club’s doors.

Katsuki pushed the employee’s room door open and began walking out, you idly followed behind him, readjusting your bag strap over your shoulder. A subtle nervousness settled into your bones as you walked behind the tall male. Not entirely sure why you were suddenly feeling this way, you supressed it by trying to focus on the interior of the club. It was dark and quiet. Chairs laid upside-down on top of tables. The bar was closed, and the liquor was locked up. You recalled all the doors in the building you had already locked, the front being the only one left. Your steps echoed throughout the large building.

“Bro, what are you doing?” The sound of Kaminari’s voice pulled you from your thoughts and to the entrance doors of the club.

The dirty blond was slightly dishevelled, with only the two bottom buttons of his shirt done up, his sweaty muscular chest left exposed.

“You’re riding with the ice princess and the three dumbasses.” Katsuki demanded, walking past his friend and out the front door.

Kaminari looked over at you with a concerned expression, then back at Bakugou. You shrugged as you walked up to him, closing the club door behind you.

“Is your friend alright?” He asked you, shoving his hands inside his pockets and leaning onto the exterior of the building. “Wait a second…isn’t she the girl-“

You stuck the key inside the door’s lock. “That was feeding you and Tetsu shots on the dance floor and drunkenly feeling both your bare chests? Yes, yes she is.” You answered for him.

Kaminari’s face bursted into a flaming hot mess as the foggy memory began to resurface in his mind. The fact that you had to see him like that…was not ideal for him.

“Right,” He embarrassingly said, “Well is she going to be alright? Should I be worried Bakugou is putting her in his car like a sack of potatoes? Are you going with her?” He asked, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, she’ll be alright. Just got a little too drunk is all.” You turned the key. “And he basically demanded that he drive us to my flat. Didn’t really give me much of a choice, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

Kaminari nodded, looking over at Bakugou carefully place Ochako’s body in the small back seat of his sports car. Shoto stood beside him.

“You know there isn’t enough room in my car for Kaminari, Kirishima, Testu, AND Sero, right?” Shoto sassed Katsuki, placing both his hands on his hips.

The boy slammed the car door shut and looked over at the heterochrome man.  

“What are you planning, Bakugou?” Shoto narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“None of your fucking business. Just throw one of them in the trunk and deal with it.” His voice was threatening. “OI! [Y/N], ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT?!” He angrily yelled looking past Todoroki and over to you.

You felt the door’s lock slip into place and immediately pulled out the key. Jiggling the door handle a couple times to make sure it was locked.

Turning to Kaminari you gave him a sweet smile. “Thanks for all your help tonight, by the way!”

Kaminari gulped as he looked down at your soft face. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system or a hormonal spike, but he suddenly felt knotting in his stomach. “A-ah, yeah no problem! Glad you aren’t leaving with any serious injuries! Are you working tomorrow night?”

“Yep! It’s our monthly theme night tomorrow night. One of the most popular nights we have! Will I see you there?”

“Ah YES!” Kaminari coughed, “I mean…we might stop by…” he said, running a hand through his hair, trying to play off his outburst.

You giggled, “Alright well I’ll see you tomorrow night, and I’ll definitely see Tetsu, Sero, and Kirishima now that they’re working for us! Have a good night!” You gave him a small wave and made your way over to Katsuki’s car.

When your gaze finally fell on his car, your eye couldn’t help but twitch.

Of course, he has a sexy black sports car…

Katsuki was already in the driver’s seat. The back-tail lights flashed on and the car’s engine roared like a wild beast. You made eye contact with Todoroki as you made your way to the passenger side of the car. His face was stern, and you wondered to yourself if he ever really made any other expressions.

“Goodnight Todoroki!” You sweetly said, lifting your hand slightly to wave goodbye.

“[Y/n],” His voice was calm as he took a step closer to you, his left arm extended in the air slightly, as if he wanted to grab onto your arm but didn’t quite make it. “Do you feel safe getting a ride with Katsuki?”

You raised your eyebrow at his question. “Should I not feel safe?”

Todoroki’s gaze left your eyes briefly and drifted behind you to the car. Something about his actions made you feel slightly uneasy.

“No,” His eyes fell back on you, “I just wanted to make sure you felt alright.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay! You gotta be tough to work in this business,” You half-heartedly joked, Todoroki’s expression remained as solid as ever. “I’ve dealt with a lot of arrogant and pushy men before. So if he tries anything I can take care of myself!” You breathed out an airy laugh.

Todoroki paused before saying anything.

“You shouldn’t have.” His voice was so gentle it caught you off guard. He stuck his hands into his pant pockets. “Goodnight miss [L/n].” He said as he retreated to his own black sports car.

Your gaze lingered on his retreating form. You weren’t quite sure what you made of Todoroki. He was mysterious.

Katsuki revved the engine of his car impatiently, as if to say ‘get the fuck in the car already’. You turned around and extended your hand to the car’s door handle. The door lifted over the roof of the car. Quickly, you pulled your dufflebag into your lap and got into the car’s black leather seat. You practically fell into the seat, the car sat so low to the ground. Your door began to automatically close, but you were too focused on staring at the inside of Katsuki’s car. Everything was black leather, with bright orange details running along the sound system and steering wheel. It looked and smelled more expensive than everything you owned combined.

“Buckle yourself in.” He demanded.

Your hand lifted behind you to reach for the seat belt as you stared at Bakugou. The florescent blue glow of the cities lights casted shadows across his face and body. He sat straight in his seat, making him appear to be as tall and solid as a brick wall. His features were turned in a scowl, but a handsome one. Blond unruly hair hung over his forehead. You thought for a second that his face must have been shaped by the god’s.

You buckled yourself in. Katsuki wasted no time in revving his engine one last time before speeding out of the curbed parking spot and onto the road. His left hand gripped the steering wheel in a fist, an equally large and expensive watch on his wrist. His right hand rested on his lap. The car was surprisingly quiet when driven.

“What’s your address?” He asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

“17 Meridian. It’s one of those brick townhouse apartments.” You answered, Katsuki simply nodded.

Turning your attention away from the handsome blond man, you stared out the tinted window at the dimly lit streets. Not a soul was out. Wealthy bachelors retreated into their condos with an equally wealthy woman. Married men and woman drunkenly stumbled into one of many apartment rooms to fool around with their mistresses. Some went back to a hotel bar to drink the night into oblivion. Quiet settled over the city like a blanket over a child. The air was cool, and a barley visible fog began to accumulate around the tips of the corporate buildings. Mercury street lights sent a soft glow to the streets. The city was asleep. It was peaceful.

You listened to the quiet. Enjoying it while it lasted. A subtle ring in your ears being the only noise you could hear.

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[luminisvii]

Am I losing my shit about fanfiction again? You BET! It’s time for Tell to lose her goddamn mind about some truly awful fanfic! It’s my blog, I get to do what I want! And that’s to talk about how people are more blessed than they believe since they didn’t read this!

Today I’m going to talk about Super Smash Sisters: Damsel to Hero. Given the title uses a word like Damsel in it and it’s rated M, this is going to be GREAT

content warning for well what do you think a horny man on the internet would write ie: cheating, incest, terrible depictions of women being horny, violence (I don’t explain any of this in detail so you’re welcome. but it is mentioned) I’m not linking this thing because you guys don’t deserve this.

It took me forever to finish the entire fic, and I actually wrote most of this before finishing. You may say “Wait a second Tell, you need to fully read the work in order to discuss it!” No I do NOT. Trust me, this doesn’t need to be finished to understand. I needed moral support for this, I couldn’t have possibly read this by myself. I feel really sorry for my poor friends that have to deal with this horse shit with me because it’s kind of got a bit of je ne sai completely godawful. I’m semi tough and can stomach some senseless nonsense pretty nicely, but the real heroes here are my friends for toughing out the rampant sex and terrible female character writing all mixed with Call of Duty plot and characters. You thought this was about Smash Bros? WRONG! 

I know exactly jack about the author, Yamagata, other than they are probably some poor horny straight guy in high school or maybe a genius troll. We just don’t know. Either way they were pretty dedicated. The fic itself is 91,621 words and 45 chapters, and apparently on hiatus but we all know hiatus is just another word for dead. It’s better off that way. All good awful fics end on a cliffhanger.

The premise, as the title implies, is that all the men of Smash are kidnapped by nazis or some shit after a failed drug raid and it’s up to all the women to save them of which there are Zelda, Peach, and Samus because this was written in the Brawl era. You might think “Wait, isn’t that not a lot of female characters?” right you are! The author decides to bring in tons of female characters from all sorts of video games and anime. A personal favorite is a major character in this fic is Bright Noah from Gundam, notably not a woman. I love him! I’m disappointed he hasn’t slapped anyone yet! What’s the point of importing Bright Noah into a fanfic if he isn’t going to deliver a Bright Slap? Sorry folks, there’s gonna be me getting distracted about Gundam once in a while.

I can’t remember exactly what happens because the chapters really blur together quickly. They’re almost always first half violence in COD land and second half really bad lesbian sex scenes. See, the title is a misnomer. The women don’t actually do a lot of hero work. It’s still handled by men. Ones who aren’t even from Smash Bros. Bright Noah and another guy called Hargrove who I’m not familiar with are constantly telling the women what to do and while the women sometimes go on missions to fight Nazis or whatever, half the time we’re following some random male characters. A good friend had no idea one of them was Tuxedo Mask because they used his dub name and we spent like ten chapters with this idiot before realizing it was him. They just spend their time fighting different various enemies from real life as opposed to smash. So the guys fight and then the women all fuck because when your boyfriend is missing you have to immediately bang the nearest female out of grief. It’s not cheating if it’s gay! Even worse is there’s a lot of incest because apparently that’s how women act, too. Also for some reason when the women DO fight it plays exactly like the men’s side but with Bright Noah just telling them what to do. Also for some reason Peach just fucking kills people and I’m not really sure how to deal with that. Like, yeah, I guess.

Let’s try to do a plot recap but that’s going to be difficult because I’m not sure what the plot is. Okay, in theory, I do. But we’re just circling around and doing the same thing so many times that I’m plain lost. 

In theory, the plot is as mentioned before. The men of Smash get kidnapped and turned to trophies by Nazis. I’m noting that besides Nazis the men are all brutally murdered in order to turn them into trophies. Then it turns out that Samus, Peach, and Zelda are safe because they were at the Smash Mansion cleaning and having sex as princesses and bounty hunters are known to do. Then they find out from Bright that the men have been kidnapped so they have to form a task force against them. So there’s a long ass paragraph of characters, many of which do not have speaking lines until much later anyway, but they’re all female characters from other games or anime. I’m really into Fire Emblem and there’s a bunch of those so time to cry. Bright has to tell these women to stop being so damn emotional and be ready to start murdering. 

Also in the first chapter, we have the reveal of the villain, some Tabuu knock-off named Emerald. She too recruits a ton of villainous characters who all introduce themselves AFTER THEY’VE BEEN RATTLED OFF IN PARAGRAPH FORM. You didn’t get it the first time? They’re all going to painstakingly state their name and identity. Admittedly it’s kind of funny to have Cell in a room with Liquid Snake and Ashnard. Also who invited Valtome? They didn’t even invite Zelgius. Maybe our favorite Begnion General figured out that a certain thirsty ass senator was gonna be there and stayed in bed today. Okay, fewer tangents, I promise. 

With the establishing of all the villains and heroes, everything instantly turns to shit. Half the time we’re not even following a group who’s connected to the main characters and when we are with the main characters they are either having terrible sex or shooting nazis. This sounds like it’d be funnier than it is but it’s really Grade A Depressing. I can’t tell what’s going on or why and since I have exactly no knowledge of Call of Duty I’m afraid I don’t know anything about our actual protagonists either. Every chapter starts with some pretentious usually WWII related quote and involves some guys dying and then some ladies bonking. It’s the same format every time and after a while I feel like this is some advanced torture method. 

Among the bad sex is for some reason moms are banging their elementary school age daughters because their husbands are out. Women are so horny they’d rather fuck their children than wait long enough for their husbands. It’s so messed up. My eyes naturally glaze over on the sex scenes because they’re kind of clinically written and something about cute pussies or whatever. I feel bad for Bright Noah, he has to break up these badly written orgies to talk more about the nonexistent plot. Bright Noah needs a raise. All in all the sex is something that maybe a 13 year old boy might find hot if he hasn’t managed to read all the other way better smut fics out there. If 13 year old boys even do things like that. 

Since there’s no way for me to coherently walk through the plot since each scene hardly seems to amount to anything besides either violence or a roll in the hay, I’ll just have to start briefly talking about the few notable things that happen, probably out of order. Who the fuck even knows what chapters these happened in? I sure don’t! 

First off, a lot of the women conscripted into the task force have supernatural powers but they’re just given guns. I also think the author has something for Krystal or whatever since we focus on her a lot for no good reason. The women are also often infiltrating secret bases to nazis or other bad guys that I’m not as well versed in because admittedly I’m not that interested in the history of warfare, modern or old. I just assume this is a COD thing. But in order to infiltrate the bases, they just wave papers at literally every guy they come across and that does it somehow. I started going ballistic and every time they mentioned papers I would start screeching again. They get stopped by some dude and he’s always like “Where are your papers?” and they ALWAYS have the papers and then they go past but the author FEELS THE NEED TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP. It’s like The Black Fucking Mountains again. Something I’ve learned about myself is that I do poorly with overly repetitive writing, so I wonder why I’m reading world’s most repetitive piece ever penned for fun. I can’t recall anything that happens in any chapters.

Somewhere in the mix they actually save Ike, Marth, and Roy. Somehow the most in character thing in the entire fic happens with them when it’s offhandedly mentioned that they sometimes dogpile into the same bed as a joke. What was more shocking to me is that suddenly Ike is a total nuclear bomb genius out of nowhere. Sure, he’s from a medieval fantasy setting, he knows what nukes are. We finally get some more plot. Apparently Emerald is trying to develop some insanely powerful nuke in order to destroy the trophies of the remaining captured heroes. See, she’s holding them ransom so she can get… money? Power? Fame?

Trying to do this from memory is so hard. I did My Inner Life practically all from memory, only going in there for the copy and pasted quotes! What the heck? This fic just slides off my brain. I don’t know if finishing it is even worth it since it’s not like I’m reading any of the sex scenes in detail (I mean why would I, a woman with decent taste, want to read about usagi feeling up chibi usa) and I sure as hell can’t understand the Call of Duty parts so in conclusion this fic really wasn’t targeted at me. 

But whatever. So now the main crew has to slaughter their way to bomb storage or development or something. Some of the COD guys died and I didn’t notice, some of the villains died (tragically Valtome was K.I.A.) and all in all too much sex was happening. Seriously, Mist has sex on her brother’s bed, that’s kind of nasty. I don’t know why I’m so hung up on all of that. It’s like the piss drinking thing, it’s a minor offense in a long line of “HOLY FUCKING SHIT” but here’s where I get derailed. 

How many times can I say that this fic is terrible? Because it is. I don’t understand who a lot of these characters are and why they’re here or what they’re doing. I managed to read to the end and all that I learned was Shadow the Hedgehog apparently cheated on Rouge with some guy called Makarov who is another major villain. What, so when Rouge cheats on him with another woman it’s fine, but when he cheats on her with a man he gets killed for it? I smell double standard! Don’t worry, I’m a feminist, I support equal rights of everyone getting punished for their perpetual horniness. Still, there’s this shocking turn of events where the men are somehow the ones who aren’t constantly obsessed with sex and the women are going around topless and banging each other constantly while homosexuality in men is seen as evil and wrong. For some reason I think the person who wrote this might be a man. He feels the need to remind us, 40 chapters in, that there will be No Yaoi scenes but plenty of Yuri. No shit dude, like, fuck! I didn’t know! 

Towards the end, Washington DC gets overrun by Colombians and the team has to kill them. There’s some drawn out attack sequence where everything is described in monotonous detail with military terms I don’t understand. I have a general revulsion to military weeaboos as they are sometimes called, so this stuff turns my stomach. It also features Kenichi, the main character of the animated Metropolis adaptation, which I DID see a long time ago! This little boy is killing people! It’s fine! Also it mentions Frau Bow from Gundam and discusses that she’s training to fight in a mobile suit to help support, but Peach and Samus are the ones who actually use the mobile suits. Peach kills people in the RX-78-2. I’m not sure how to feel about that. Another aside is King Boo is in the mix and he dies. How do ghosts die? Asking for a friend. 

There’s also some weird aside of the COD guys doing an arrest in Disneyland. Gaz, Soap, and Price all go there guns akimbo and chase down some dudes and some people die. I don’t think Disney would like that. This also comes out of nowhere, Gaz was playing fucking Go with this dude called Katsuie and it was practically a smash cut transition of “well I arrested a guy in Disneyland once wanna HEAR about it?” and it was. Something. I don’t understand why we did this.

We end with Krystal and Fox discussing that she’s breaking up with him because while he was held hostage, she got engaged to a woman and is unceremoniously dumping him. The scene was honestly kind of funny for the fact that she was having a lesbian three way in his fucking bathroom and then was like “Yeah we’re not dating anymore. I’m engaged. Later idiot!” while naked. Shortly after it’s decided that they need to bomb some German base, I think. So Bright Noah tells the crew to suit up and get ready, and so Krystal and her Lesbians fly off to go fight. Krystal ends up in a one on one with a dude called Scales who I’m unfamiliar with since I don’t know Star Fox lore but I’m sure it’s super important to Krystal. The duel ends so badly that Fox needs to jump in and he and Scales end up plummeting to their death out a window and also getting blown up by grenades. Fox just fucking died for the girlfriend that cheated on him the second he wasn’t home. Honey, you deserve more than this, and Krystal deserves to be treated better by the narrative as well. He gives his blessing as he’s dying, though, so it’s fine. 

The whole thing ends shortly after that. It was never completed, not that I think it could be, since I read all 91k words and I still don’t understand who is who, what’s going on, or why things are happening. Even if I did know all the characters featured I don’t think it’d help. I know about 50% of them and it’s not helpful at all. I completely forgot that Emerald is a thing. She’s the main villain! She’s hardly in it! The guy should have cut the shit and just written 

Tell’s recommendation? Don’t read this unless you’re really, truly a masochist. It’s not funny enough most of the time to justify the insanity. It’s sexist and racist. Chapters monotonously drone on with the same things happening almost every time. The bad sex isn’t even funny. Save yourself the trouble and if you really must know, check out the first few chapters only and then call it. The author has other works that I haven’t read but I’m not sure that I will based on the quality of this work, and they also published something as recently as 2017 meaning they could probably rise from the hiatus grave and kick my ass for trash talking them. 

One Sentence Review: Bright Noah doesn’t slap anyone. 

[strigital]

I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR V if thats ok

you… you really do?

‘cause if that’s true then hell yes! (tbh i’d yell about my ocs from a top of a mountain if only anyone would listen)

heck, where do i even start? anyways, long ass post ahead!

BACKSTORY!

To makelong ass story somewhat short: Jax was raised by her big bro - Alek - and, for aslong as she could remember, she believed her brother’s explanation of theirlonely existence, which was that their parents were, simply put, a couple ofjerks not suited for a family life. By his words their dad was a borderline psychoborgtoo busy ripping implants out of people, while the mom was a dirtgirl tooaddicted to braindance to care for her kids. And when the young lad justcouldn’t take it anymore, he snatched his little sister out of bed and ran withher into the night so they could both start a new life. Jaxine never doubtedthe story, even if the way they lived always seemed kinda fishy - like they werein hiding - not to mention it was somewhat suspicious that her bro wouldconstantly “go to work” armed to the teeth.

Welp, turnsout that all of this was a lie (what a twist!). In truth, Jaxie’s dad was onehelluva Netrunner who got his bread by getting people into parts of the Netthat they had no legal access to and occasionally stealing a few files fromcorpos here and there to sell them to fixers for some extra eddies. And iftheir dad was all about that software, their mom was the hardware maestro whocould build a computer out of scrap metal like it was Legos. They were quite apower couple and managed to attract more than  a few followers and basically started theirown tiny little gang whose main job was to ruin all the fun for the corps inthe virtual world. And, of course, something had to go wrong eventually. So itdid. They stole info about a shipment of expensive Arasaka tech and sold it toa fixer. But before they could get their hands on that juicy high tech, somerat snitched on them. One of their guys turned up to be a corpo whistleblower whose sole purpose was to sniff out the infamous Netrunner who was stealing theirdata. A whole ass witch hunt began and the dad knew he fucked up big time. Sobig, in fact, he knew for damn sure Arasaka was coming for him and his family.So he put his little daughter into his son’s arms along with some valuable datashards regarding his work, made him promise he’ll keep his sis safe and senthim on his merry way, whilst running with the wife in the opposite direction.

And itworked! Surprisingly. Alek did such an amazing job at concealing theirfootsteps they managed to live pretty happily and untouched by the corpos formany years. The brother became a solo and an edgerunner pretty early and tookon an alias of the ‘Vulture’ - ‘V’ for short. He was so damn good at his job theynever knew poverty. Buuut as they say ‘the faster you run away from yourpast…’ Jax was almost 18 when Arasaka found them. He gunned them all downlike dogs, even though he knew there was no way he’d survive. In the aftermathof the bloodbath, leaning against the wall of their wrecked living room,bleeding and dying, he promised her he was going to be fine, gave her thosemysterious shards, told her to grab his gun and bike and go to Night City, makea simple delivery to his old friend. Jax felt it was a goodbye and that those mercswere no damn drug dealers who came to collect an old debt. But she listened tohim anyway and rode to Night City.

There, this‘friend’ person who turned out to be the last surviving associate of her parents,told her the truth. The entire story and not a single lie. That day she made ither life goal to harass Arasaka at every turn, make their lives miserable, DDoSthe fuck out of their Net, mess up their systems real good! She adopted herbrother’s alias (though this time it most likely stood for ‘Vendetta’ howeversaucy that might sound) and began to follow in her parents’ footsteps, learningall she could about hacking and tech. Eventually, V got good enough at it soshe could jam tracking devices and disable surveillance programming in order toremain ‘inivisible’ to those who’d find her pranks unfunny. Though, apparently,someone’s been looking for her recently… Wonder what’s that all about, huh?

TL;DR!

JaxineBryce is a trash goblin and a bi disaster, who’s a not-so-bad Netrunner and asomewhat-acceptable Techie. She came to NC after her brother’s death to be apain in the Arasaka Corp.’s ass for personal reasons as well as for shits andgiggles.

She’s ofmixed race, though she mostly takes after her Asian mom. Her hazel eyesare long gone and replaced by some cute orange-glowing optics, and herbluish-black hair is always a hot mess that she just can’t be bothered to take careof it (if she could she’d wear a ‘Bad Hair Day’ beanie hat all day every day).Doesn’t really have that much skin wiring and such, prefers to conceal most of her cyberwareand look as natural as possible due to her fear of slipping into cyberpsychosis.

She alwaysloved to blast Johnny Silverhand on full volume in her room, but ever sinceArasaka kinda sorta ruined her life, she really started to like this guy, evengot herself a glowing tattoo of Samurais (not to mention the Samurai jacket,which was a birthday gift from the brother!).

She can’tdo shit in combat (besides firing a gun and only because her bro took her outshooting once), but boy can she fuck up your cyberware if you get too close.For these reasons she desperately relies on Jackie to be the ‘wall’ between herand the enemy, but at the same time she always makes T-Bug’s work a tad biteasier.

Other thanthat, she absolutely loves NiCola, dreams of owning at least a couple of cats, believes coffee and ramen to be the crowning achievments of humanity, is an AI rights supporter and a speed junkie to the bone despite not being the best driver in the book. Can’treally drive cars that well, but boy does she love bikes! And adding her ownlittle touches to her vehicles. Like, that one time she spray-painted Jackie’snew car neon pink and now he won’t leave her alone with his car unsupervised…

Jaxine issomewhat introverted and really clings onto people that she knows. T-Bug alwaysappeared to her like a caring big sister, while doctor Victor became a newfather figure in her life after her brother’s demise. V’s also got the biggestof crushes on Jackie, though she’d rather die in a fire than tell him, mostlybecause she really doesn’t want to ruin their amazing friendship (besides, shewon’t survive a day in NC without Jackie’s help). And even though she jokesaround a lot, she has a tendency to fall in and out of depression. Jackie’s happy attitudealways helped her deal with those kind of anxious feelings and going out forthe night on the town with her best amigo will always be her preferred way todo therapy. Despite all that, Jaxine’s genuinely a ‘good guy’, but definitely nota ‘knight in shining armor’. Sure, she’ll help you out if she happens upon youwhile on a job, but don’t expect her to go on a righteous quest to save theworld. Her only goal in life is avenging her family, letting go of the past andfinding a place to truly call home and nothing else. As soon as there’s nothingof importance holding her in Night City, she’ll hop on her bike and be gonebefore sunrise.

[wellhalesbells]

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny.  finally.  i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see?  and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic.  (one ship?  sure, that’s spideypool.  one character?  sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson.  but one comic?!)  there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement.  instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah?  (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.)  in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell.  in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is.  and, yeah, it was good.  a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants.  if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm.  THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.  what an awesomely weird and epic story.  the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep.  it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best.  and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread.  also, no’s gay?  and i just DID NOT see that coming.  it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all.  lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker.  hate capitalism?  think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters?  [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley.  i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it.  a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you.  [wide, creepy smile]  the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far.  lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz.  this?  was a COOL idea.  the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat.  it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you.  the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’  some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia.  like i said, neat as all get out.  lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character.  standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton.  a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas.  a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe.  it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it.  lgbt+ main characters. 

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt.  a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol.  you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost.  HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren.  SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!!  okay, first off, the art in this?  pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had.  second, this book is so fucking fun.  it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’  infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering.  UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY.  OKAYYYY???   lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie.  one of my favorite ever series right here.  it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them.  lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes.  you know how people rave about gail simone?  there’s a reason people rave about gail simone.  honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs.  i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy.  (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did.  scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things.  so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada).  classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title.  he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies.  sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is!  lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness.  watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period.  they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard.  a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone.  just some remarkably cool shit in this.  the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes.  standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero.  kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers.  kelly thompson is not one of them.  kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson.  honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal.  doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness.  this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor.  a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip.  people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth??? 

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona.  hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel?  you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing.  lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda.  psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens.  what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule.  i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life.  also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren.  break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right?  so emma gives hers away.  problem solved, no?  standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura.  i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything.  did not.  standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky.  having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja.  honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward.  saladin revived this character one hundred million percent.  there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released.  it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples.  this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good.  like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade.  the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things?  unparalleled.  lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander.  a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out.  very neat, very cold, very readable.  standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen.  this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god.  lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had!  but you know how people rave about jeff lemire?  there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang.  the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships.  it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay?  why do i even have to sell you here, man?  lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey.  this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on.  there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother.   lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera.  this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up?  the rest of the series is knocking him back down.  super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows.  hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman.  this series is so funny and smart and warm.  these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them.  lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen.  this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact.  lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator).  this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh.   lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad.  i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat.  stat means now!   lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward.  so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies).  lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors).  i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find.  it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones.  this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done!  standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman.  a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love.  the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic.   lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares.  JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky.  i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss?  it just might be.  did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign?  maybe.  maybe i did that.  who’s to say?   lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz.  life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship.  lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan.  is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot?  .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot.  [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone.  a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters.  can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan.  i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing.  i mean, maybe i did.  maybe.   lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young.  ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel.  just two boys falling in lurve.  lgbt+ main characters.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 027: The Ol’ Run and Float

Previously on BnHA: Deku won the obstacle course and made All Might proud while pissing everyone else off. Midnight announced that the second event would be a cavalry battle. The kids were told to team up in groups of 2 to 4, and that each team’s captain would wear a headband with a point value based on how that team’s members placed in the obstacle course. Deku found out he was worth ten million fucking points.

Today on BnHA: Midnight explains the rules of the cavalry battle. U.A.’s first years set out to assemble their teams. Bakugou doesn’t fucking know who any of these people are. Iida wants in on this rivalry thing too. Deku gets off to a shaky start, but actually manages to assemble probably the best team out here, thanks in large part to its abundance of girl power, but also because my bird bro Tokoyami decides to get in on this as well.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 51 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

new volume cover!! lots of kids this time! twelve of ‘em!

we’ve even got that steampunk girl. SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE

this is the calmest that Bakugou’s face has been on a cover yet, I think. he’s even letting Kaminari lean all over him. he still doesn’t know how to smile, but at least he’s looking at the camera, unlike Todoroki up there in the corner

and we’ve got Ochako up there in the top left! KICK SOME ASS OCHAKO

Deku looks pretty happy and doesn’t appear to be fearing for his life, so we can confidently assume that this picture wasn’t taken during the sports fest! ahahaha

“the boy born with everything” hmm that sounds like Todoroki to me. could be Bakugou too I suppose, but right now I’m leaning more toward the kid who hasn’t had much development yet and whose mystery dad seems like he might be introduced shortly

I freaking love that... [checks the handy dandy character guide] Hagakure is on the inner cover cheerleading with these two

(ETA: I can’t believe such a cute fucking page was so ruined for me with context.)

okay I skipped past the characters cuz I already know who they are, and definitely skipped past that chapter index. here we go

seems pretty fucked up to me. do they have twists like this every year? if yes, then why do the kids who’ve watched it religiously since childhood (i.e. Deku) not anticipate that and maybe just shoot for top 5 rather than #1?

well Deku, you’re just going to have to continue to be just that damn good, I guess. you’re screwed otherwise

even Ochako omg

he’s still thinking to himself that it was just dumb luck that he came in first. by my reckoning it was actually ridiculously quick and adaptive thinking, more than a little cleverness, no small amount of physical strength and endurance, and a reckless disregard for his own safety bordering on the insane! but sure, call it luck

wonder where all of that GARRRRR energy has gone now. it’s like he was running at 300% for that entire event, and now all of a sudden he’s run out of batteries

okay here we go, some detailed rules

that’s going to be a lot of zeroes for Deku’s team

glad they designed the headbands to fasten with velcro so that these kids don’t go snapping each other’s necks

and apparently once someone grabs your headband, they’ve got to put it on and wear it themselves, so as long as time’s not up, you still have a chance to get it back

so then Deku won’t necessarily be the main target the entire time. ooh, this changes things. I like this game now

that little shithead Mineta might be a problem if his team utilizes his stupid grapes

and Tsuyu could potentially just use her tongue and be snatching up headbands left and right

apparently they’re allowed to use quirks, but not allowed to maliciously attack teams “with the intent of making them fall.” well what are the rules then. is that basically just a “don’t kill each other” rule and aside from that everything still goes? this opens the gates for some inconsistent refereeing. but I suppose these games are just an exhibition match to show off anyway, so as long as everyone gets to do that, it doesn’t matter as much who actually wins or loses

unless your name is Bakugou Katsuki and you went up on stage in front of a hundred thousand people and were all “it’s me I’m the winner”

or if you’re Todoroki “dad is watching and I just made Deku my rival fifteen minutes ago, so I don’t want to lose to him” Shouto

or Midoriya “dad is watching and I promised him I’d tell the world I AM HERE” Izuku

then you’re probably more invested in winning

so should be interesting

(ETA: actually, getting into the round of 16 really did make a difference in terms of who got drafted afterwards.)

time to start forming teams!

Deku already seems to know who he wants!

Tsuyu or Ochako, Deku. either is good. both are even better

Iida’s also fast! and loyal! (ETA: HAHAHAHA) but the second that fucker gets distracted, his weird hand gestures will get you dropped on the floor right quick

Bakugou and Todoroki would NEVER!! so let’s not even bother with that

Sero is another one like Tsuyu that would probably be really good at snatching bands

anyways, enough with the hypotheticals, let’s scroll down and see who this thoughtful young man actually decides on

heyyy. booooooo we’re cutting to the security staff

they don’t seem to be doing a very good job

wow. these guys are kind of the worst

“drag others down.” what a cynical fucking take

now they’re talking about how the cavalry battle teaches cooperation. well no shit, just like literally any team exercise ever

these are the most demotivational superheroes I’ve ever seen. the complete fucking opposite of All Might. no wonder he was so desperate to find someone with the right attitude to be his successor

WOW CHECK OUT MISTER POPULAR OVER HERE

OH NOW Y’ALL LIKE HIM, HUH. I WAS HERE FIRST

he seems to have someone else in mind maybe?

wow

“WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE”

wow Bakugou. wow. I may not know all of their names yet, but at least I know... two of their quirks

-- and actually I do know their names! Sato, Hagakure, and Mina! wow! guys! I did it!!!

meanwhile All Might’s up in the stands with his own hot fresh takes on Bakugou, which mainly consist of “he may be a jerk but he sure is talented and that sure does make him popular.” yep. are you proud. he’s still our son, All Might

Todoroki already picked a team while Bakugou was standing there trying to figure out what everyone else’s quirks even are and what exactly is this mysterious “teamwork” thing anyway

luckily he has a good friend who mysteriously loves him for some reason!

even though Bakugou doesn’t even remember his name sobbbbb

to be fair, I sure took a long hecking time remembering it myself

Kirishima is pointing out that he’s the best fit since his quirk allows him to take whatever explosions Bakugou dishes out

wow they really are compatible. this seriously could take over as my main ship, were it not for the fact that Deku has so plainly been in love with Katsuki since he was three years old

but even so! like, I’ll just nab this little KiriBaku tugboat, maybe, and let it puff along next to my main ride

incidentally, Bakugou doesn’t even know what Kiri’s quirk is

and Kiri DOESN’T EVEN SEEM TO MIND ANY OF IT

“Bakugou who should you ride?” “idk someone with a death wish cuz I sure fucking will blow them up you can be sure of that” “no!! me!!!”

that’s the pure kind of unconditional Yamamoto-esque love that can withstand whatever pain and hardship life decides to dole out. good shit

so who’s he gonna pick as his final teammate then

guess who doesn’t care who Mineta picks. me

Shouji if you agree to team up with Mineta you will be cancelled by association until the end of this challenge. it’s not your fault, it’s just the way things are

DEKU WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE. YOU SEEMED LIKE YOU HAD A PLAN. THAT’LL FUCKING SHOW ME TO ASSUME YOU WOULD EVER TAKE THE INITIATIVE IN LITERALLY ANY KIND OF SOCIAL SITUATION

so then. you’re either stuck with the most desperate peeps, or your loyalest most dedicated besties

eh, I fail to see how punching something really hard one time and then having your body fall apart would inspire faith, though. please note that your fellow classmates, who have seen your quirk, are still avoiding you

oh! I see a “Deku” speech bubble though! only one non-Kacchan person here who calls him that! :D

LOOK AT YOU LUCKING OUT OVER HERE DEKU

this was seriously one of his best prospects to begin with. her quirk would help a lot when it comes to avoiding people, and with him having the highest point value to start with, they don’t really need to go after other people’s points

so if he’s teaming up with her, then Iida is definitely the best choice for a third teammate. they work well together, and I guarantee no one else has offered to team up with him yet lol. just gotta watch out for those hand gestures like I said

but before we get to that let’s just appreciate Deku’s meme face

is this face a meme. if not, my question is how could it not be

yesss. it’s all coming together now. THE OL’ RUN AND FLOAT

now they’re in the huddle and Deku’s explaining the ol’ run and float plan

but interestingly, he doesn’t intend to be the rider? he wants someone physically strong? well there are a few options then, but honestly there isn’t anyone else here who’s actually stronger than you bud

WOW now Iida’s suddenly deciding to be a spoilsport?!

YOU CAN REFUSE MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS YOU TREASONOUS CAD. A POX ON YOU IIDA!!!

apparently he’s decided to make Deku his rival too. EVERYONE, RIVALS. HE HAS ENOUGH RIVALS!!!

“ever since the entrance exam... I’ve been losing to you” well then sure as hell don’t expect it to stop now

he’s teaming up with Todoroki. wow. wow, Iida. you wanna be cancelled too because this is how you get cancelled

I’m not actually mad in all seriousness though, I just gotta protect my sweet Green Tsuna here who apparently has no Gokuderas to fall back on except for Ochako, that beautiful, rule-breaking moth

does the math actually work out so that there’s gotta be at least one person left for him to team up with?

dammit who’s it gonna be

OOOOHH

IT’S THE SMART STEAMPUNK GIRL FROM THE SUPPORT COURSE. I LIKE THIS! SHE’S A WILD CARD. GET IN HERE SUPPORT COURSE GIRL

HATSUME MEI YOU BEAUTIFUL TALENTED BRILLIANT POWERFUL MUSK OX

she says she wants to team up with him so she can be in the spotlight. see, this is what all these kids are forgetting. it’s not really about the points, it’s how well you show off what you’ve got

and she apparently wants to show off “her babies.” her inventions, I’m guessing

PLEASE JOIN US AND BE OUR WINRY ROCKBELL. BE OUR USOPP, MEI

SHE HAS JETPACKS. DEKU!!! DO IT

aww. Ochako don’t be jealous. he needs you, you’re the MVP even if no one else here knows it yet

okay so they’ve got three again. but Deku still seems to think they need one more person

“our formation’s just lacking some power...”

off he goes

who else are you gonna sweet talk into this group Deku

I should probably make a guess so that I can either brag afterwards, or laugh about how wrong I was

he keeps saying power. but most of the obvious 1-A powerhouses are already taken. Sato seems pretty tough, though, and there’s also that rock guy who is like the only guy left in the class who hasn’t done shit. and I think Tsuyu might still be available and she’s a dark horse IMO. my money’s either on her or Rocky Road

okay, this Viktor-looking guy has been making faces and mugging the camera this entire time, and now it looks like he’s actually gonna get a bit of focus here

and he’s acting like class B hung back on purpose. sure, okay. do your thing then; just don’t expect me to learn twenty more names when I only just got done with this first group after 27 fucking chapters

we’d better see who Deku picked before this ends or it’s a waste of a cliffhanger

oh good there’s one last two-page spread

Deku ended up as the rider after all huh

OH

I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM! NOW I FEEL DUMB. HE’S FUCKING PERFECT, AND HE ACTUALLY AGREED TO JOIN THEM! TOKOYAMI, FROM THIS POINT ON YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AS “NEW IIDA”

THE SHADOW THING IS GONNA BE SO OP OMG. LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO

BONUS:

“steampunk-related things” they didn’t even pretend

I’m glad Horikoshi made so many interesting female characters and went against his initial instinct to make several of them guys. class A only has six girls out of 20 people total, so it’s not quite balanced, but it’s better than there being like. four girls. and they’ve all got heaps of skill and talent, and varied and interesting personalities

so the support course peeps are basically the Tony Starks of BnHA

I am so down with this. go on and befriend Deku and make him all sorts of cool shit later on and further enrich the series with your general presence, Mei

[jaggedwolf]

For the meme - please do the voyeurism fic?

Gladly! Ficlet is here.

Violet didn’t mean to lose track of the time. She’d curled up in the engine room with queue of research papers to go through, and suddenly it was hours later, her eyes burning from staring at a screen. Seemed her idea that no one was likely to disturb her in the hottest room on the ship had panned out.

Is anyone on this ship not a secret workaholic? I will say that now that I’m out of school, that is the one truly unrelatable thing about all of them. 

A thump echoed from outside the room.

Violet willed herself not to panic. All sorts of noises were perfectly normal to hear in the normal operation of a spaceship. She took a tentative step towards the door.

Remember that time I suggested the Rumor is to either Iris as the Millenium Falcon is to the Normandy SR2? I would like to propose another comparison noise-wise: NYC underground trains versus fancy modern trains in Singapore/Tokyo/etc. Bet that frankenship makes a lot of weird noises, and here Violet is definitely quoting something Sana told her.

Another thump, and then a gasp. Sana’s voice.

Wonder what was causing those thumps ;). I spent too long wondering whether a person could recognize someone from simply a gasp, and then gave up and decided Violet is such a detail-hoarder that this would be fine. 

Violet relaxed. Sana had probably tripped in the hallway. The Rumor’s floors were remarkably uneven in height - Violet had spent what felt like her first month here staring at the floor whenever she so much as left a room. One would think Sana, out of all them, would be least prone to clumsiness here, but given that Violet’s watch said it was way too weird a time for any of them to be up, Violet didn’t think she could begrudge her too much.

I miss the frankenship so much. That’s all. 

She walked up to the door, about to slide it open when Sana’s voice stopped her.

“Really? Only five more feet to my actual room,” Sana dryly remarked.

The idea of being caught making out in a public area of her own ship is Not Sana’s kink, thank you. Will be practical even as very distracting things are happening. 

Then another small gasp, and more noises and - oh. Those were definitely kissing noises and also moaning noises, the thin door between Violet and Sana filtering out almost no sound, except who the heck was Sana kissing.

What a good question, Violet, it’s not at all like a simple process of elimination would help you here. Sana’s back is definitely against the engine room door, by the way, so Violet is hearing...a lot. Months after writing this, I’m wondering why on earth I chose “heck”.

Violet was definitely on Sana’s side since she’d like to go to bed and they were right outside her only exit and also she could feel her face starting to flush red from the embarrassment of this entire situation.

You can take away my “Violet is an obvious blusher and she hates it” headcanon away from my dead hands. And yeah, the closest I could get Violet to this fic prompt was being trapped and forced to listen because 1. It’s funny 2. thirst is difficult to write well.

The noises stopped. 

“Technically, isn’t the entire ship kind of your room?” asked Arkady.

It is important to note that Arkady distracted Sana very thoroughly before delivering her snarky retort, which is a very good strategy. Also, I think the edge between Arkady’s paranoia and Arkady’s “well, what the fuck does it matter, take the risk” is a fun one to be on. (I hope it’s pretty clear this is not the first time these two have had this conversation, haha)

Huh. 

Violet’s first thought was that she doubted she’d ever get what an out-of-breath, thoroughly-kissed Arkady sounded like out of her mind, because wow. 

Violet lives as she was ready to die on the Iris, quietly horny. 

Her second thought was nothing more than stupid, unwarranted disappointment, a spiral her brain would’ve gladly jumped into if Sana and Arkady hadn’t decided to keep talking. Almost as if they were completely unaware Violet was hearing all of this.

“Sure, Kady,” Sana replied, the words so fond and soft that Violet felt a pang of guilt at hearing them.

Eavesdropping on emotional intimacy might be even more of a dagger to one’s heart than eavesdropping on physical intimacy, you know? I think, Violet correctly suspects that while Sana might easily say those two words in that exact same tone to Arkady in front of the rest of the crew, Arkady’s response is unlikely to fit that criteria. 

Violet backed away from the door as far as she could. No more audible noises or voices, now, though whether that meant they’d left or she was simply far enough away was unclear. It was fine. She’d stare at her research articles for another half hour and check if the coast was clear then.

So Violet makes sure she doesn’t hear it. 

Her eyes stared at the screen, processing nothing. God, of course, it made so much sense, the two of them together. Even more sense that they were hiding it - Arkady’s paranoia would make sure of that.

History and loyalty intertwined :D. Are they hiding it? Is it a defined relationship or is the physical stuff just another dimension to their relationship? I don’t know - I can easily see Arkady convinced that somehow, sleeping with Sana is very separate from her very intense “yeah dying in her place is the best thing I could do” feelings about her, and that Sana feels no great need for more clarity given the chaos of their lives. It’s working for them. And...

Violet shut down the continued feelings of disappointment. She’d thought that-that maybe her interest was reciprocated, that their dumb exchanges had meant something. Silly old Violet, always reading too much into things.

...it means I could keep this ficlet firmly in a world where all of Arkady and Violet’s interactions have exactly as they’ve been in canon. (Everyone else’s, too! Like. Do you think Sana wouldn’t tease Arkady about her obvious thing for Violet just bc she’s sleeping with Arkady? Nah, bro.)

I guess, personally, I don’t find romantic jealousy particularly interesting, especially the spiteful kind. More power to those who do but I find the sadness “Oh. What else would I have expected” much more appealing. Wallowing > lashing out/blaming other people. 

Somehow, she smiled. It was weirdly comforting to know that Arkady and Sana had found each in the chaos of their lives.

Violet tells Arkady that being on the Rumor is the safest she’s felt in a long while. From everything else she says, I have to assume it’s also the least lonely she’s felt in a long while. There was no chance of Violet being too morose about a crushed crush or being the fifth wheel - her life on this ship is already more than she ever thought she’d get. 

And hey, Violet can appreciate the nice story that established Arkady/Sana would make. 

Even if hearing them wasn’t the ideal way to find out.

Violet ignored the images her mind helpfully supplied at the thought, her cheeks still burning.

This is very much a pre-OT3 fic, because I’m a weenie who usually hates unrequited pining. Nope, none of that here, this definitely turns into being so on-purpose happy for your crush that you end up having a thing for their partner too.