#i’ll leave things off here
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me and the guy i pulled by accidentally implying i like jazz music
#kicking off my tumblr posting with a silly little comic i made!#billie bust up#bbu arthur#bbu aristotle#arthurstotle#robin’s art#robin’s follies#<- for my sillies. hows that for a good tag hehe#im such a sucker for arthurstotle#they’re so cute to me SORRY AGH#this is intended to take place pretty early in their relationship#this comic also kinda just. wrote itself. i drew the arthur ‘ya like jazz’ and it went from there!#dialogue might be a bit awkward because of that sorry haha#i dont think im that good a writer… but i try!!#i have fun and thats what matters#also good thing about posting this here#i got to correct a few of the mistakes in prev postings#like adding stotles eyelashes ( ik they dont have those in canon but i always draw him with those so. looks weird without em)#this gave me a headache after drawing it btw. their power is too strong!!!#anyhoo!#tags are fun i like rambling in them#i’ll leave things off here#buhbye!!! thanks for reading my thing hehe 💖#2023 art#comicfollies
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I look for you all along the cracks in the wall..in between the lines…. Along the horizon as the sun sinks into the night, Venus following suit. I look for you in every pair of lips that meet mine, in tangles of limbs, forgotten jackets, uncomfortable chairs. They neither fit, nor do I want them too.
A man drives me in his sporty car tonight, a million miles a minute… He glances at me a ghost of a smile on his lips. He doesn’t mind that I talk about the stars, insects and all things this and that…He has already carved a me shaped spot into his unknowing heart. He will be like the others enamored of me while I stare out the window looking for slivers of you against the endless night.
#romantic academia#dark academia#poem#love isn't real#next time we meet it won't be as painful#quotes#in stars and time#is this it#romance#sometimes the timings off#quotes from a book I’ll never write#things that keep me up at night#late night thoughts#nothing lasts forever#texts from last night#excerpt from a book i'll never write#if youre reading this#leave me here
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#PHEWWWW HI GANG#im writing this via tumblr web so bear with me but i hope everyone’s 2025 has started off well so far !!!!!! a lot has happened on my end#(the good and the bad but we are thugging it out!)#i’ve received very wholesome messages from my lovely moots which i’ve taken a sneak peek of and will be replying to when i get the time !!#anywho! i don’t know when i’ll be back on here bc my creative juices have been DRAINED so yeah :C i didn’t wanna leave completely so i#archived my acc for a bit while i sort things out :3 — my reason for doing so is mixed really. more on losing motivation and just basically#stuff to worry about irl BUUUUT i missed you all so much and me being here and making a post means its kinda getting better on my end so ya#prob not relevant but i’ll enable my asks again if anyone wants to leave anything so that i can come back to it again when i log on sjdnksj#also also i’ve been watching ‘the apothecary diaries’ s2 and its so amazing !! i also started ‘a sign of affection’ and let me tell you how#much i was kicking and rolling around my bed KSNDKSJ#gaming-wise i recently pulled for c0 arlecchino but lost her weapon to clorinde’s weapon 😭🙏🏼 but shes amazing and i love her gameplay sm!#AND AND OMG LADS.??. WELCOME BACK CALEBBBBBB OMGGG i havent done the main story yet but i’m excited !! i know ppl have mixed feelings over#him and his actions but hes so up my alley so ik im gonna be eating it up hehe. i did manage to pull for his standard 5 star which is#exciting too !!! anyway i want to try and get back into writing again because my mind has been brewing yet another heavy chrollo angst 😽#(i love putting my husband through grief)#or maybe i’ll start w finishing off a couple of loose ends from the fics i never finished 😭 (i’m so sorry)#welp that’s all from me !! i love u all <3
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🌧️
#I’ll leave for a bit#just a bit. hopefully#I’ve been making myself so upset about so many things lately#that it resulted in an anxiety attack earlier today which I hadn't had in so long#I can't really distance myself from any of the stressors except for tumblr right now so this post is mostly me telling myself to stay off#at least until jk's bday or something#the self-pressuring and sense of failure has become too much#it's not a balance anymore rn it's just one more thing that's making me feel incompetent and desperate#I should put the little energy I have into my two jobs and the thesis#I could really need a small achievement with writing the coming days. to lift my spirits again#I hope a little break will help with that#and I’m sorry that I've been so miserable on here lately....it's not an easy time rn
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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god the way ghost's voice drops when he tells soap, "you'll need to improvise to survive"
before that, everything he says is steady but when he acknowledges that soap'll have to do something outside his skill set, something he intimately knows to be difficult, his voice wavers
and soap does the same thing
when he's calling out for ghost on the radio, he's tentative, testing the frequency, then he's desperate; "ghost, this is 7-1, do you copy?”
then when ghost answers, he smooths out his voice; he hides the pain, the fear
they both try to hide things from the other to reassure them that they're alright, that they'll both get out alive
#how many times have i watched the alone mission and im still finding new things#he does the same when he says ‘welcome to guerrilla warfare’#its sombre and serious in a way he doesnt act for the rest of the mission#he keeps soap going#poking at him and making jokes#giving him tips and asking about his progress#he never lets him stop and take a second to think bc he knows the moment he does is the moment itll all hit him and he’ll get overwhelmed#by the betrayal by the pain the fear the deaths all of it will hit him and if that happens soap wont make it#he needs him to be a soldier through and through and he knows this is one of the worst kinds of battlefields you could end up on#and the only times he slips is when he acknowledges that fact#it happens again when he says ‘tryin to get you here alive and in one piece’#his jovial dark humour facade drops for just a moment when he has to face the potential reality of losing soap#and then he tries to pick it back up again with ‘one of us has to survive to tell the tale’#completely discounting himself as a survivor to try and rally soap#and soap who lets himself be poked and prodded towards the church needs to hide his own doubts#maybe he needs ghost to believe he’ll make it so he’ll believe it#‘what are my odds?’ ‘dont make me bet against you’ ‘think i’ll make it that long?’ ‘probably not’#hes all but begging him to tell him he’ll get through it#and if ghost knows just how bad off he is maybe he’ll change his mind#maybe he’ll think he won’t make it to the church. maybe he’ll leave him alone for good#‘you injured?’ ‘im good’ ‘lets find out how good you are’#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#soapghost#ghostsoap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#we’re a team. ghost team
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almost every time I read about percy from another characters point of view I get pissed off so I’m just. not going to do that anymore
#stop blaming that kid for not visiting the underworld in the MIDDLE OF A WAR????#hate it here what the fuck oh yeah lemme just. pop down into the abode of a dude who tries#to kill me several times. to visit another dude who tried to kill me. and I’ll just pray he doesn’t regain his memories in the middle of the#conversation. fuck off!!!!!#pjo#did the same shit with the calypso thing#leave him ALONE
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wallpaper is insane like u find a product w an ugly print ? wallpaper it. just multiple uncoordinated things put together ? wallpaper it. ugly door ? wallpaper it. ugly wall ? landlord won’t let me wallpaper it
#stream#tumblrs aging demographic etc but this was actually abt diys#the years of getting very stoned & watching the sorry girls & not even remembering what the original video was have prepared me to diy#everything#like ALSKALSKALSKLAKSLAKAA i love pullin shit out the trash like u don’t want it ? i do ‼️#i can REPURPOSE IT#i think it’s so funny#like the way i was raised was to recycle or whatever but my father also raised us to save everything bc what if u need the parts u know dads#so i just do. one of my core memories from ‘a child’ i was probably in like 8th grade at this point was when the hubcap of my fathers car#fell off his old as dirt hunk of junk older than me automobile & he was too cheap to pay like 25$ for a new 1 so he took my brother & i to#this like drainage ditch expecting US to go poke around in there & get it & i said absolutely fuckin not#bc this same man would tell us - bc we had to buy our own toys so like we u know saved whenever we got money from bday or christmas or u#know manual labour in exchange for money bc ok yea at least he taught us to demand what ur worth w that but it was like 5c ea pinecone 1c ea#stick or like ‘help me repair the roof’ ‘pressure wash the fence’ i was like 9 ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAAKS - he’d take us to the toy store &#we’d bring our money but instead we’d go to the hardware store & do all the errands & force us to do everything w him then he’d just say#‘yea it’s too late for that sorry’ like it was just. captive audience. this man is the reason i don’t go anywhere unless i know i can leave#on my own or when i want somehow bc girl …. I DONT TRUST ANYBODY HES A LIAR & A SCAMMER LIKE#but that’s just family heritage it’s genetic we’re a long line of liars & scammers but the buck ends here bc i’m not having bio children#or any children#lord knows i’ll be dead long before the chance could arise#i shouldn’t say things like that but ALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLA WE KNEW WE’D DIE YOUNG#this started w wallpaper#i’m so high#also very very bored#i’ve to do dishes & i absolutely 100% do not want to i hate dishes so fucking much i hate doing them i hate being around them i hate seeing
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#they’ve officially turned off the program we use to allocate money to the tribes#this is the bad place#‘it’s temporary! dw it’s definitely temporary!’#=___=#also that ‘buyout’ for gov employees isn’t out of dt’s playbook it’s out of muskrats#he made a similar offer to twitter employees to leave after he took over#and those people did not get paid#and while sure a private company VS gov agencies isn’t the same. I just.#The weekly meeting with all the regional engineers across the country is here in a bit so I guess I’ll see what they have to say but#things are. Not Looking Good right now y’all
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im so sorry you got nasty asks ppl can be so vile. i love seeing you on my dash and you always have the best posts and put great stuff on my dash. ive never watched naruto but i dont mind seeing that either <3 ily i hope youre doing ok outside of ppl being terrible
They had me like this, anon...
#they tried to call me a terf and I’ll never forgive that 😵💫#all because I pointed out some antiblackness-#I don’t expect much from wp and nbs here especially lgbt white folks since they’ve been the main ones running black bloggers off for years#especially black trans and cis black women for even uttering the word#they forget that at the end of the day they are still white and can hurt us#it was just#uncomfortable for me :(#but I’m not used to being harassed so I was like 🤷🏾♀️!#I had to delete sm messages 🗿#tumblr is not a welcoming place for black bloggers so#it’s never rly been but I won’t leave until this site completely implodes (it’s getting there)#one thing about lgbt whites they’re gonna call a black blogger a transphobe for ever criticizing them ever even if they’re trans 😵💫#I hate how common this is on here it’s disgusting#all I do is post about anime and complain I don’t be bothering no one 😭#anon you’re so kind I rly appreciate this message 😵💫❤️!#thanks for caring lmfaoo#also#I FEEL LIKE……. you’ll probably go crazy if you watched Naruto sorry…….#please don’t watch or read it ever… I’m begging- but the perks of reading and watching Naruto is that you get to meet Naruto and sasuke 😭!!!#guys of all time!!!!!!!#I’ve been trying my best to be normal about it since I’m an adult but I… sorry I’m so sorry anon I’m embarrassing#it’s kind of hard to dislike something that you’ve been into since you were in middle school 😭……#I’ll love Naruto forever even if it sucks lol#anonymous#tkf replies
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#thanks everyone for all the kind messages#like seriously thank you#I guess it was one of those things where I was having a really shitty week and then I came on tumblr and just the one thing set me off#and affected me way more than it usually would have#this past week was good for me though#I had three interviews and two of them were for jobs I really really want#and one of them is my dream job so hopefully I get it!#but even if I don’t… I genuinely think the interview went really good like all three of them! so I’m happy for that like#it gave me more practice#anyways with five days away I guess I made my point lmfaooooo#I was angry and upset but tbh anon hate is nothing new and it’ll keep happening sooooo#I was genuinely touched by all the sweet messages!#and also laughed at the ones which were just begging me not to leave poyt unfinished 😂😂😂 like I love the honesty there#but I laughed in a touched way bc I understand that even those asks came from a good place like the intention was good#ANYWAYS yes I was very very upset but this week went good for me so I’m in a much better place#I guess I’m going through a very rocky time irl so it’s making me more sensitive to small things that didn’t affect me before#like anon hate I mean usually I honestly find it entertaining and funny 😶😶😶#but yeah that one thing got to me but whatever!!! we move#anyways how r y’all!#I’m free this weekend so I’ll be active on here as usual hehe
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starting the year ✨wrong✨
#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa)#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao#first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice#and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads.#rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried#that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning#b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language#so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part esp s o bs#and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off..#well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨#(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese)#(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig)#a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week#b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge)#and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig#so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa#idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh#i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o .#ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :(#speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)…#is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him???????#our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory)#felt cute; thought about retiring early idk
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One of my brothers is moving away to college today + I have to skip therapy, so it’s a lot of… a lot. a lot.
#he was just a baby! he was just a little kid I carried around and took care of!#no nope. not gonna get into it right now. I WILL cry. it’s not even 6am and I do not need that right now#and I don’t really know if therapy today would really help#if I got into it I’d just start crying in front of this nice dude for an hour#though yeah… might be nice to.. I dunno… just talk about it.#I am always simultaneously ‘therapy is good’ and ‘what’s the point in talking about it?’#so maybe I do need that person that’s like ‘this is your time. just fucking talk.’#but also right now it’s like… talking about it won’t take me back to when my brother was little and far off from leaving#blegh…#whatever. anyway. it’s gonna be a sad day. I’m gonna cry A LOT. I’m gonna be alone in this apartment and just sooooobbbbbbing#and then keep this inside for another week before I can go to therapy and talk about this bc god forbid I talk to a family member about it#ok now it’s 6am. I think he’s leaving in about 4 hours. it’s cool. it’ll be cool. 😎 I’ll just miss my bro so dang much#but maybe I’ll walk down to the dollar store and stock up on snacks and I’ll get blasted and fatter and try to stay positive#uggghhh#I’m too emotional#time just keeps moving for us all. to my dismay.#’time is the fire in which we burn’#you can ignore this#I don’t think I’ll ever have kids. I’ll never have kids. and being there. with him. with my brothers. that was the closest I’ll ever get.#and it’s over… so… 🤷🏻♂️… it’s just done… they’re grown. and I’m still here. I don’t know what else to say…#but that’s life. they’re doing their thing. I’m happy for them and I want them to be happy too. I’m just a big crybaby#IAN!… stop typing!#just making myself sad at this point#it’s fine. it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m cool. everything’s… cool 😎#this isn’t important#text
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hey pegs i'm so sorry about all the shit going on atm, idk what to say but hope ur okay + it all gets less fucked up v v soon for u
THANK U ♥️♥️♥️
i finally got to talk to the OT and the RSW today (ON MY FOURTH DAY HERE ?????? smfh) and they let me have clothes >:) and some markers and sudokus and stuff. still have the security guard following me 24/7 & can’t leave the ward or have shoelaces but whatever. i feel so much more human now that i’m allowed to wear pants
#i appreciate u thank u sm ♥️♥️♥️ seriously#they’re letting me do this weird loophole thing where i’m technically a voluntary patient and can have privileges#except the resident doctor told me in no uncertain terms if i try to leave they’ll form my ass again#they’re just doing it cause it’s easter weekend and all staff except nurses are off from tomorrow until tuesday#so this way ill be a little less miserable. like a shitty consolation offering for the next four days#but i’ll take it#and my friend is coming to visit tomorrow and bring me a new book and maybe some snacks#asks#dorimares#pegasus speaks#also tmi but i haven’t shit since sunday#and i have a lil ... yeast situation going on#i hate it here bro <3#you’re so sweet for checking in though it means a lot to me :’-) 💕
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First, I like your font too, especially the colours. 💗
Second, are you into other fandoms?
First, Ty :3
Secondly, so. Many.
Fnaf and tf2 are the first things that come to mind, especially fnaf:Security breach since the new dlc come out recently (by the time I’ve posted this I have probably already drawn art of Eclipse, I love my boys). I tend to fixate on characters and I’ve always loved the tf2 comic so Medic has been on my mind with Engineer also making his way in there. Oh !! And Deltarune :3 love deltarune, especially Spamton. I love seeing AUs about it too, people are so creative. I really love HLVR:Ai too, just recently I got the Frenrey Pink-to-Blue fan Zine! In that series I heavily fixated on Benrey, my sona is actually heavily inspired after my own design of him!
Other offhanded fandoms I’m in are Call of Duty, Spooky Month, the ARG and Analog horror community, homestuck, Steven universe, and probably a bunch of stuff that I’m missing. I love a lot of things !
Ever since I got into tsp (over a year ago) Ive mostly been paying attention to that and not much else so I haven’t given my other fandoms much attention. However I still do love them dearly
But anyway ! TLDR: Tspud has taken over my life, I can’t focus on much else, it’s a problem but we’re still living laughing and loving
Despite that, I like video games (like fnaf, tf2, and portal) and webseries (like HLVR:AI, Spooky Month, and ARG/ analog horror stuff)
And I love to ramble
#Suzuki-notsonormal#apologies for the word vomit that I just dropped on you haha I don’t get to talk ab myself often so I tend to go a bit overboard#like I need to say all these things in a short amount of time bc people won’t listen for long !! go go go !!#lmao that’s probably why I’m always going off in my tags#bc I can say can what I didn’t have time to in the post#I can expand on thangs#ESPECIALLY if it’s about my boys (Stanley and Narrator)#i loveeee talking about my boys#this ain’t ab them#what is this about?#FANDOMS yes yes#I’ll leave it here before the tags get longer than the actual post again haha#apologies !!#.txt
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So I’m just not allowed to have single happy moment huh? Not even for a fucking second?
#i believe that yeah mom maybe no one is perfect but I believe that you are pushing your luck - paraphrasing tfb here but ugh#parents will literally say you can tell them anything and then shame you for not being perfect#like fuck you#its not even that bad of a mistake#I accidentally left my car keys at the theater but I’m getting them tomorrow#it’s just that I’ll have to be dropped off and picked up at school by my dad#which he’s done for fucking years so it’s not like an inconvenience#you’re just an asshole who likes it when people feel bad#I’m already stressed because of fucking everything and this happens and I figure it out and handle it#but you can’t leave it alone you have to shame me#when I was younger and forgot my phone in the airport bathroom because I had been distracted by my period starting#you yelled at me in the middle of the fucking airport in front of everyone and made me cry even more#and then you apologized because you knew i was already feeling awful about it without you yelling at me#why did you bother apologizing when you do the same exact thing every fucking time I mess up#I hope you go to hell
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