#so ill do it all
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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did it mean anything to you
#transformers one#transformers#megatron#bumblebee#b 127#d 16#transformers fanart#maccadam#not ship art!#i wish there was more screen time for when they were all on the surface together#they were all so cute#gauuhhh i want more dee and bee interactions#but now its impossible because there isnt a dee to be with bee anymore#ill do it myself...
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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yknow i dont go here but sometimes i gotta go: seriously respect clowns. they have the worst pop culture representation in the world and also the best most thorough honor code. they're just here to be silly little guys who bring joy and are very conscientious about doing so responsibly. let them to their merriment in peace you dont hafta take potshots. i dont go here but like maybe i should, you all seem super chill
#my posts#im mad bc i saw a clown knight adoptable which fascinated me as a concept and then someone bought him and made him evil :(#thats so. boring. its SO BORING IM SORRY THERES A COOL CONCEPT IN THERE BUT THATS THE BORING WAY#maybe ill make my OWN oath of clowning paladin someday#...wait that's actually GOTTA be a dnd subclass somebody's made at some point#anyway also the occasional YouTuber taking potshots and being mean like you dont need to do that theyre just minding their own business :(#we should all strive to be sillier and weirder and more kind forever
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#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point#the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous#like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but#i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it#its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you#god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt#fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs#im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go#ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way.#anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen
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#tim drake#red robin#robin#dcu#dc comics#timsteph#timber#timcassie#curse you dc for making two regular fixtures in Tim’s life be named cassie and cassandra both shortened to cass#do any of the rest of these mf have tags#prolly not#this is so much responsibility#redlynx#timdar#timtam#HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT NOT ALREADY A SHIP TAG#NOT ONLY WERE THEY IN A SITUATIONSHIP FOR MOOOOOST OF RED ROBIN#LOOK AT IT#TIMTAM!!#SO GOOD!!!#anyways every time another hot person kisses tim drake and he’s like ‘wtf’ and then ‘hmmmm this is not a good idea prolly’ take a shot#like dick grayson is Known for being flirty or whatever (a perception discussed in Detail elsewhere) but tim is (still) SEVENTEEN#and has been in SEVERAL serious relationships and also a few situationships and also had several ill-advised kisses#anyway the reason that timkon (and to a lesser extent jaytim) will always be my faves#is cuz tim can be All Of Himself#and he couldn’t be in p much any of his earlier relationships really#also kon (and Jason when he is Less Murdery) are caretakers and tim Needs That Shit#and he also needs someone to pour all of his Immense Loving Heart into loving and kon and Jason both Need That#they can be So Normal about each other#anyways ty for coming to my tim drake romance ted talk
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aHhh okay so the discussions of Titan!Megatron on @callsign-relic's blog have fully. FULLY taken over my brain and ive been drawing stuff for it for like the last few days nonstop
the tl;dr of this is AU is pretty much "what if Megatron got turned into a titan/cityformer as a form of penance/imprisonment and now roams the empty wasteland of Cybertron forever" plus "IDW Megatron has really fucked up internals so... what if that, but as a City?"
and of course since he's a Titan, that also means he has a cityspeaker... or three. One per sub-AU thing. Theres 3 options. 3 flavours of AU.
i have so much art to make. but in the meantime, for more info! check out the #titan au tag on Relic's blog :]!! (also uhh potential ns//fw warning for the link shfjbdkd)
Hi. My battery is running out once again so design and art notes get chucked here instead of an image.
The cuffs and collar are hardwired into Megatron, so I made the lights the same colour as his biolights!
I imagine that on the tops of his shoulders there are solar panels, even if you can't see them here lol.
I really wanted to keep the swirly bits on Megatron's chest from IDW
Other art notes:
The second picture with the seekers is (loosely) inspired by a discussion about whether or not Megatron gets visitors or not. I thought about who would visit him and well... I think this is as close as Starscream realistically gets to visiting him.
Extra detail about that piece is that Thundercracker and Skywarp are keeping watch from above! Also drawing Megatron took me like 8 hours because I was struggling with his legs really badly kshffkbfkdsbdk,, the background went much faster, funnily enough.
Optimus specifically isn't wearing his Autobot badge any more.
This isn't relevant in this series of images, but Ultra Magnus's eye markings are only on the Magnus armour. His other two forms do not have them :] (... until he begins to discard the armour, that is.)
Megatron is roughly 3200m/2 miles tall. Technically he could have clouds around his knees, but I thought this looked a little bit cooler lol.
Also, height chart! Him big. I didn't even attempt to put a human for scale because that'd be. near impossible with this scale.
#velwy.png#my art#titan au#maccaddam#megatron#transformers#transformers au#minimus ambus#ultra magnus#rodimus#optimus prime#this has involved so much fucking googling.#also learning how to draw Literally All these characters#anyway. i have more Really Clear images in my head so more stuff coming later#i have a short one page comic but uh. i dont know where to put it here so ill add it to a buncha doodles i have planned#in another post 👍#later.#im doing a spectacularly bad job of being on anon. fbfkbgkenfkdnfk#i keep oscillating between 'i should just write this' and 'i gotta draw this' so. im doing both essentially.#if i ever finish the fic/s ill post it but until then this au continues to haunt my every waking moment
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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the sudden thought of bakugou katsuki sending an audio to his s/o while at the gym, where he speaks IN BETWEEN GASPS AND GRUNTS AND EVEN GROWLS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HE'S LIFTING WHILE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR DINNER AND SUGGESTING MEALS OR PLEACES TO GO IF YOU WANT AND THEN HE SAYS, "Ugh... whatever you... mmh... want, baby, it's yours..." AND HE EXHALES FUCKING SEXILY AS THE SOUND OF THE WEIGHT DROPPING IS HEARD.
— I'M DYING HELP.
#DON'T @ ME#I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM#I EVEN HATE WHEN MEN DO ALL THOSE SOUNDS AT THE GYM#BUT THEN...#BAKUGOU KATSUKI#AND THE THOUGHT WAS: FUCK YEAH HE WOULD DEF SOUND SO FREAKING SEXYYYYYY#okay ill stop now goodnight#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#mha bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#mha smut#bnha smut#mha imagines#mha headcanons#mha scenarios#bnha scenarios#bnha imagines#mha bakugo katsuki
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If you're stressing out about a part of the writing process for fanfic to the point where it's not fun anymore, just don't do that part
Post that fanfic with 1000 grammar and spelling errors. Make your characters OOC and give it a Mary Sue. It is a hobby you're sharing not a literature assignment you have to turn in by midnight
#sara shush#sorry to all the people who ask me if ill ever uber correct all the errors in my fics but i dont care enough for it#i like the fun parts of writing#like getting the story across and exploring the characters and ideas and relationships#idc if its not perfect its a fanfic#like dont get me wrong i wanna bookbind again one day so ill get around to it eventually#but if you stop having fun doing the writing then what are you writing for
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cillian murphy accepting the award with his wife's lipstick all over his face and asking the crowd if he's got lipstick on his nose and continuing even when they said yes. this is making me feel. things
#cillian murphy#that was so. romance of him#like what do you MEAN he accepted a golden globe with his wifes lipstick all over his face#golden globes#WHO DOES THAT. THATS SO OLD SCHOOL LOVERBOY CODED WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN IT HAPPENED ON TELEVISION LIVE#i am ill
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Etho's behavior in session 5 was frankly unhinged. he killed Bdubs' horse IN FRONT OF HIM and managed to get away scot-free in the chaos of the situation. AND THEN he stole the chicken farm hopper while HALF THE TEAM was in their base without them noticing, tried to trade it BACK to them, and finally returned it after GAINING THEIR ALLIANCE? what even. good for him.
#no one else is doing it like him. except for maybe 3rd life Impulse. and we all know how that worked out for him#speaking of. Impulse expressing fear that His trident which he gave to Etho would be used to stab him in the back???#I wonder why he would worry about that. haha.#I'm so ill#Etho is so thoroughly unreadable it is frankly anyone's guess if he intends to betray his new alliance#my money is on no outright betrayal but he basically continues to live with BET until everyone goes red and he wants more friends#wild life spoilers#wild life smp#ethoslab#trafficblr#life series
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#my art#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#harrykim#kimharry#or whatever they're called#let this man have happiness or so help me#im a firm believer in harry getting a slow post-recovery glow up alright. it's the least i can do for the guy.#man i was listening to so many banger songs while making this#im still getting back in the flow of painting so most of my stuff is kinda messy still#but i suspect ill find a middle ground between this and my last piece style-wise#gearing up to drawing kim in all his glory too now that ive finished two different side profiles of him. only a matter of time now#also fun little fact. i drew over half of this (~4 ? hours) using just my finger on the trackpad of my laptop lol#sometimes it helps me to just put shapes and colors down. when ive got a pen i get too nitpicky about being perfect/using fancy techniques#sometimes all you need is. finger 🫶#OH!! i forgot to mention someone spotted it in the tags—yes this is based on that one leyendecker piece!!
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Ive seen posts about how disabled people should be able to have hobbies and how we should be able to do things that we like if we enjoy it and if it doesnt hurt us, and yeah I totally agree, but like unpopular opinion ig, let disabled people do things they enjoy even if it hurts them.
I, as a chronically ill person, have things I enjoy doing that arent that good for my pain levels. For example, I enjoy going on walks, just for like an hour or so around my town and in the forest. I will most likely have a flare up the day after/for a couple days after and my legs will be aching most of the way through walking but I love it, not the pain but the walking and seeing places (specifically the woods, i love the woods so much omdddd). Another example is video games, which may sound like an odd thing to flare from for some, but with fast paced video games on console or pc, my fingers get very stiff and achey from moving around so much so quickly, and it tires me to have to even use my eyes sometimes but I really like playing them.
Obviously there are way more examples that I've missed but the point still gets across. Let disabled people have hobbies, even ones that may mess up their pain levels, or make them extremely fatigued etc.
#physical disability#chronic illness#chronic pain#disabled#cpunk#cripplepunk#cane user#chronic fatigue#spoonie#fibromyalgia#let disabled people have hobbies omd#I get told to not go on walks all the time and I understand why but I really love it and im willing to be in pain to do so
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Dunmeshi request, Chilchuck and Marcille interacting? 🥺 Or standing next to each other that works too. Could be hugging, or sharing a meal/food, or…
Got a bit out of hand with the prompt XD I ended up doing a scene inspired by this fic! Based on that time Marcille Izutsumi and Chilchuck were sharing a bed in chapter 47. It felt very memorable so I tried to recreate it but I kind of went offscript because I was basing it on my recollection of the fic lmao
^Obsessed with this guy and how he lets Izutsumi use him like a hot water bottle bc it's comfier.
I think he'd hardly ever act this soft + tolerant of physical affection unless it's situations like this: When the others are too sleepy to remember it LOL
#dungeon meshi#ダンジョン飯#chilchuck tims#chilchuck#marcille donato#fullertom#izutsumi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#also i ended up drawing his dottirs whenever possible#idk if i like the values for the colors all that much but it's been around too long#so i really just want to post it LOL#uncaptioned#<- ill do this later when im not sleepy asf. or if you want to caption for me ill credit you and add it in alt#january 2024#my art#sorry i havent stopped drawing chilchuck sorry for being a chuckhead.#except not sorry. you will see more of him
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2023 darkstalker floating in space doing nothing grinning evily and scary. png 1 and 2
#theres things i dont like in here but i also dont feel like retouching them so close ur eyes and pretend i did#no memory of drawing those btw. whenever i draw this guy i do in in a daze and hes on my canvas all finished up#my wof lore is that whiteout os my fav character evar so far but#instead of drawing her my brains forcing me to draw her annoying evil brother i hate#lim serious when i say i dont like him. but hes soooo fun to draw i cant say no to worlds evilest 17 year old teenager dragon. frown#i think i made those around the time i got the book which i still didnt get to read btw. sorry. this year was craszy#ill get to it. promise#darkstalker#wof#wings of fire#art tag#eyestrain
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