#so i’m mostly messing about

[mintyimperiatrix]

wait hear me out. so Belinda called Gallifrey ‘home’. she psycho analyses the Doctor while taking none of his bullshit. the Doctor called her Fred. she had a cute relationship with a small robot. she has the same face as a character from the previous season. three syllable name. wears primary colours. barely aged between 2007 and 2025. when she was talking about her parents she just gave harsh emotionless facts, much like Ruth Clayton and John Smith did.

tldr if Belinda is a fobwatched Romana i will become the most annoying person in the world

[theclownghoul]

Gratuitous

Opinion piece & analysis

I really hate how Jinx’s suicidality is portrayed in S2, largely in Act lll but we’ll talk about all of it.

In S1 we have about three moments (by my count) that show Jinx harming herself or trying to end her life. Hitting herself in episode 3, being careless with the staples in episode 7 and pulling the pin on the bridge also in episode 7. There is also a line she says to Vi “You’re the reason I’m still alive” in episode 9 which given other things she says in that moment could be interpreted as other ideations.

What makes these moments different from S2 episode 9? Well none of the three main writers were credited to those episodes other than the dialogue in S1 episode 9. Most of them are communicated through animation only. They also just feel different, they’re vulnerable, other things are the focus and her doing these things is just a reaction to those feelings. There was something to get from the scene besides a showcase of her pain.

Episode 9 of S2 is not that. It’s gratuitous, it’s a spectacle, it’s gory and somehow losing all its impact. There’s the music which is not what I’d call tasteful or subtle. It’s making an impression, wants to force a feeling or reaction. Make you sad or horrified and oh, I was horrified but not the way they wanted.

Even the way she digs her nails into her cuticles in S2 episode 8 isn’t really meant to show us anything about her. It’s meant to affect the audience.

In comparison I almost appreciate how people have read her pulling the pin in S1 episode 7 as trying to manipulate or take Ekko out too instead of being a completely clear cut attempt. Because it at least shows that there is enough going on with the character’s mindset that we can speculate on her motivations and how she’s reacting to all the emotions that came from fighting her old friend. If you look at her face it’s sadness and regret (S1 is also better at story through facial expressions since there was forethought). You’re free to have your own reaction, not the one that’s set out for you.

I have mixed feelings about her fight with Vi now and telling Vi that she’s okay to go out by her hand. It feels closer to the moments in S1 than later in episode 9. There’s more going on, we’re meant to consider multiple layers of both her and Vi’s feelings in the moment. It’s a non explicit parallel to the Bridge and does show a pattern of behaviour. It’s also not credited to any of the main writers.

The scene from the opening of episode 9 as a whole, is it romanticization? Heard differing opinions on this and I honestly don’t know where I stand. One one hand it shows how empty she feels and how everything has come crashing down despite trying and it communicates her emotions through the images and music. On the other the scene is meant to be visually appealing while also showing her detonating the bomb very explicitly, like you see her blood. I’m sorry but this is some 13 reasons shit. None of this is helped by the fact that Isha was killed purposely to get her in this state.

I had way more emotions about the actual story in the scene with Ekko in S1 and the scene with Vi in episode 3. Originally I liked this scene but I just can’t really remember why exactly, especially when compared to the earlier ones. The other scenes aren’t lacking in any way when it comes to showing her despair so I’m lead to believe it’s a stylistic choice in line with S2’s music video focus.

Then there’s Ekko… what did he do to deserve this? I’ve said before that if he had to he would save her but the reason he had to was because this scene sounded like a good idea. Saw someone say why is it his responsibility to save her and yeah why? He’s her romantic interest? Not from her perspective at this point and that’s a terrible reason anyway. Not only are we shown her blowing herself up in detail, being inflicted with it but he also has to see that, multiple times. Please don’t make me think too long about it… then we don’t see what actually changes her mind and actually see their bond. That also doesn’t give me a lot of faith is what they think is important to show.

Then she sacrifices herself at the end to “break the cycle” which no one is actually clear on what is meant by that and the same damn song is playing. It’s weird.

I’d like to compare it to the Poison sequence from Hazbin Hotel since that scene faced backlash for romanticizing abuse specifically in that scene. If I can describe what makes Poison not exploitative and what makes Wasteland so then I can safely say they are different and there is something deeply sinister about Jinx’s scene.

Poison benefits internally, inside the context of the story from being visually appealing and pretty. That tells part of the story in and of itself and eventually it cracks, mirroring how Angel feels in the scene and in his situation.

Wasteland benefits externally, it’s done for the audience as I’ve been saying. There is nothing about Jinx’s mindset or actions that we get a better insight into from the stylistic choices. We know “she loves a spectacle” but that’s the only internal explanation that I could make. Even if they wanted the cutting of her hair and the burning on the last drop but the framing could have easily been different.

Think about the staple scene for contrast, it has no interest in being something other than what it is, brutal and disorienting, just as she is feeling in that moment. Jinx would behave that way whether there were “eyes” on her or not. Poison is the same, Angel “performs” to keep his thoughts at bay regardless of an audience. Wasteland only exists in its current form to entertain.

The final “sacrifice” also falls into this, solely focusing on eliciting a reaction from the audience and making a spectacle of sadness. There is no resolution to Jinx’s earlier conversation with Ekko, we don’t see her reflect, we don’t see a change. We have no reason to believe she’s in any way in a better place. Her decision to give her life for Vi’s isn’t particularly fleshed out and this as a conclusion to her arc is bizarre at best and offensive at worst, suggesting she had to remove herself from her loved ones lives, something she simultaneously feared and was tempted by.

I probably shouldn’t feel the need to make such a caveat but I am aware that the could be a matter of preference when it comes to how scenes like this are portrayed but the way this scene was done continues to strike me as odd. I can’t help but think it maybe intentionally or unintentionally is playing into the “sacrifice” message where, it may be a sad thing but Jinx had to die. And that’s a horrible thing to say.

[motelhoneyy]

“jfk cheated this, jfk cheated that.” bro i’m telling you rn that jack looks like a goddamn saint compared to some members of his family

[yuji-enjoyer]

Attempting a comic format for the next itafushi tattoo au post, this time actually featuring itafushi for once

[krashlite]

The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy

(Decent into madness under the cut)

So it’s been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them

Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. It’s rare that they cross paths but typically they’ll stay nearby whenever they do.

3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desert’s first plan happened at BigB’s castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably would’ve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grian’s backup plan if Scar did die. “Your job isn’t to steal cookies, it’s to do murder” if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?

They didn’t cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didn’t fully stand against the desert, he didn’t stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because he’s scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally

The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to “do something!!” And saying he can’t watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him “don’t go out without a fight.” DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.

Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that he’s gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow

I’m also fascinated by B’s decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desert’s side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this

Anyways

-

LL they didn’t really interact much- which does come into play during DL

-

In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But there’s a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grian’s soulmate wasn’t going to save him and BigB was.

BigB, on the other hand, though Grian’s disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G would’ve taken the lead on things B feels he’s weakest at, considering they have past experience

Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isn’t a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB

I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesn’t know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I can’t help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that it’s not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him

Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.

Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing she’d died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep

BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, he’s a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.

Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didn’t agree with Ren’s decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didn’t feel heard in the relationship- something that’s later discussed in couple’s counseling

Putting a pin in that!

On Grian’s side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. He’s taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasn’t even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesn’t think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harm’s way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!

Grian feels less like Scar’s partner and more like Scar’s mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure he’s out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.

Scar’s behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didn’t want the pandas in the house? Fine, he’ll hop in some powdered snow. Grian’s upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just won’t eat for a bit. Scar knows it’s not as serious as Grian’s making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.

All this does is push Grian away, so it’s absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesn’t see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldn’t be expected to constantly clean up after Scar

No G wasn’t perfect but goddamn

BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.

They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so

But anyways

BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.

Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows he’s being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grian’s involvement in his and Ren’s 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.

Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Ren’s inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when that’s not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other

Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grian’s lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.

So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations

-

Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Ren’s course correction matches what Scar needs and Scar’s course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone who’s safe and BigB needs someone to guide him

It’s a really funny coincidence but anyways

-

Ultimately it was Grian’s impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesn’t help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys

Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!

I’m not normal about this season whatsoever

-

In LimL they really don’t properly interact until the very end but we’ll get to that.

BigB’s POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grian’s sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the “oh this one’ll kill me and dump my body off a bridge” kinda way. He’s a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy

On the other side of things, Grian’s POV reinforces that BigB is “safe.” The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesn’t take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server

So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB can’t save him, he can’t even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigB’s too nice for is own good

And once again!! It’s Grian’s impulsiveness that gets them killed

I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasn’t worth the cost. He hesitated because he didn’t want to lose BigB but wasn’t quick to save him like Pearl was.

And honestly it’s no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didn’t outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Ren’s decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that won’t bode well for her if it’s just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense

I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldn’t do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I can’t help but think this pushed BigB away

Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways

-

SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigB’s silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so we’re putting a pin in that until later

[demigod-shenanigans]

Dear tumblr for you page, what have I done in the last several months that even slightly suggests I’d like to have Leo hate on my dash???

Also very confused about the person who was like “one of the reasons I hate valgrace is that Jason would not like Leo” (because they think Leo as a character sucks). Like whether or not you think they work romantically, that is canonically his best friend?? Jason spends so much time waffling about how great Leo is??

What books are you guys reading??

[titsthedamnseason]

just formed a mega good plan in my head!!

[j-esbian]

thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up

[designernishiki]

it’s just sorta hitting me that we know like almost nothing about what the fuck majima was doing in 5 when he was supposed to be dead??? like???? he was in on katsuya/mirei’s plan and caught onto what was going on really early and whatnot but. what the hell was he DOING for all that time. he just shows up at kurosawa’s at some point with zero explanation how or under what pretext or anything. how did he fake his death in the first place? how did he get it announced on the radio and put in the news despite there being no body or anything to prove that he died?? I have so many questions about his side of the story it’s insane how much was brushed off bdhffdjdjdjsjdnd

[padfootastic]

hey, so i've seen you lean into the cold arrogant black heir version of sirius lately, and i agree to an extent, because he was pretty intimidating and arrogant and didn't really care much about the public other than his people, but that doesn't really mean that he's this stoic, serious guy either right? he's pretty funny, definitely a troublemaker, and way too charming to stay in trouble for long. but at the same time, people know he's dangerous and should not be messed with because under all the charm, there absolutely was an element of 'fuck with me and i'll kill you'. and i know this sounds super contradictory but that's the whole point about sirius' character. he's a walking talking contradiction. he's so beautifully complex that turning him into this heir version is contradicting his entire character. what do you think? i would love to see you elaborate on this.

also, what do you think his humour is like? i've always thought of it as super sarcastic and dry. he def has a dark sense of humour, and he's so so sharp witted. anyway sorry if my ask was too long, i can talk for hours and hours about sirius.

no!!! anon no ask is too long when it’s about sirius. i can do the same (i have, in fact, done the same) it’s so valid.

i don’t think it’s such a contradiction at all, actually! i personally see sirius as this: a guy with a lot of masks, partially bc it’s been trained into him & partially bc he’s had to be. and i think he defaults to this cold, arrogant one because it’s the one he’s had longest—but around the right people, it fully melts away. the marauders and lily, yes but especially james and harry. that’s why i keep mentioning the outsider pov of it, people getting shocked when they see the difference in his behaviour. it’s why i wrote the patronus fic lolol.

i actually think that he had a lot…issues with the ‘heir’ version of himself (and yes, that’s a fanon concept i’ve absorbed entirely bc i love) because of what it represents and he tries hard to break away from it at all times. he probably went through an entire phase of teenage rebellion where he was doing everything against his family’s teachings bc it felt good. but, i love it when people can’t run away from their nature as much as they want to, so i always end up giving him some traits that basically make him hate himself looking into the mirror lmao

as for his humor, oh for sure!! this one’s definitely canon—he has a dry, sarcastic humor. (funnily, this is where i see a lot of similarities b/w him and harry for some reason) i think it can tend towards self deprecating sometimes. he’s also—hm. u can see his class in his words, and i think that might be true of his humor as well tho idk how to explain that better lol i think he’s the kind of person who’s so good at passive aggressiveness that you’ll never realise he insulted u to ur face (we have a phrase for it here—kaat ke haath mein dedi; i think sirius would be ace at that). and going off that, i do think his humor was also based on…belittling? other people. or rather, at the expense of other people in that way popular kids do sometimes. like him w the rat in swm, i think. casually cruel. a little mean.

[whoblewboobear]

It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)

But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.

And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.

Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay

[star--anon]

How do you tell when you talk about traditionally romantic things in a platonic context way too much?

Are there any ways to tell that I talk too much about platonic relationships?

Because I just got kicked out of a server for “fetishizing friendships and aromantics” and I’m wondering if maybe that could be a sign?

[pumpking64]

.

[floral-hex]

It’s hard to make music when you have no instruments or software or skills or talent and also you don’t actually know how to play anything or make music and you’re dumb as hell

[destinedtobeloved]

I love charecters that are honestly a mess so I don’t feel so horrible about not going to sleep until 4 am every night or dressing like I’m homeless or eating like shit or talking funny

[dahldahlbills]

nano day 20-25

20- 1952

21- 771

22- 643

23&24- 0 (don’t look at meeee I didn’t have time lol)

25- 2233

Total word count: 32149, 25885 towards main wip (!!!)

I didn’t realize how many days had gone by without updating lol but it’s fine bc it’s not like anyone’s really keeping track

anyway it’s v apparent I’m not hitting the 50k BUT IT’S OKAY! I’ve made peace with it. It was p dumb of me to start the month going “I just wanna write as much as I can” bc obv I was setting myself up for disappointment. So if I’m able to reach just 30k on my main wip, I’ll be happy.

Also patting myself on the back for reaching +25k, I think the 30k will be v feasible with the remaining 5 days. That’s <1k a day!

Also finished the 12th scene! We’re over a third of the way through the project :D (which admittedly is around where I hit my typical story middle slump, but I’m hoping I can remain consistent after November)