#so i guess we'll just have to live with it

[tou-dai]

There are people who keep doing fucked up things

Like rape, abuse, being a nazi etc

If you want them to live among people "like normal", I totally respect that

I think everyone should be safe, healthy, and free

I don't remember what quote it was tho. Something like, "your freedom ends where mine begins"?

I've had 8 concussions so you'll have to excuse me (one of them being from my abusive ex wife, a relationship in which i was .. damn. Only a victim of a crime/series of crimes)

Anyway

Point is i think people saying "separate these people from us in a humane a way as possible" is very reasonable

Considering some of these people do not want to be reformed

I think anyone who is compassionate and considerate of the consequences -- one way or another -- would much rather these people (no matter their demographic) be treated kindly

To be given what they need

But also: do not allow them to hurt others!!!

This is harm reduction!

I think the issue people have

Why they clutch their pearls

Is because we've all done fucked up things

Perhaps for extended periods, knowing, being in our emotions or whatever

Maybe just being ignorant and/or unwell

So we don't want to be exiled or put in jail!

And no one should have their safety, health, and freedom fucked with!!!

But now what?? It's 2025 and you have some of the worst human beings to have existed to be at the helm

Why?

Not only that: but there are people who support and relate to them, no matter what evil shit they do!!

Yall

We need to have a truly real conversation about our acceptance of intolerance and fucked up behavior in various forms

And where we draw the line

Because humanity is going to keep having this happen until we do

Edit bc I think this needs to be said, too:

There are people who want to abuse and people who want to be abused

Just like that old song (which i love ngl)

And i think everyone has a place or inherent worth

It's just our world is not designed to bring the best out of people or nurture them well

But people are also disingenuous about stuff -- they lie to themselves and others about things

Like how good or bad they are. Whether there is such a thing. Where the bar is. When it's appropriate to talk about it etc

Like many many people would say Elon/Trump need to just die

But there are many others who support them and fascism

Exactly what do you propose we do with such people?

With their votes?

How can we help them?

There are disabled minorities, like myself, who are seen as degenerates or useless

But we have many talents and ideas which are amazing

We are not afforded the opportunity to be who and what we are

Yet these assholes are at the helm

What to make of this?

We are fighting.

Who is fighting and how hard? Doesn't that depend on circumstances and constitution?

If you gave me 1 million dollars, I'd keep 100k and give the rest away.

How many could say that?

But people would judge those like me, who have destroyed themselves, body mind and soul

Just to survive

Or to be seen as human

..

I guess we'll have to see how this goes

venmo: @torchport

cashapp: $onepeaceman

"so youre saying we should just allow rapists and abusers to remain in society?" where else would they go ⁉️😭🙏 so confused can you show me this place outside of society

[weirdlosersworld]

Whenever I'm alone

Or if I'm feeling grey

There's one place I can go

To brighten up my day

It makes me want to sing

That's how the show should end

But wouldn't it be good if I

Could sing it with a friend?

Whoa, whoa, what?

Phil, I think you should ask before you put me on the spot like this!

Okay, fine, whatever, I'll join in too

I might go outside

And feel more alive

Without Twitter

Where would I be?

I guess I'd be fit

And stop posting shiiii-

Rubbish!

But Tumblr's a part of me!

So many websites

So little time

Plus one or two

You should avoid

Just don't stop watching YouTube

Or we'll be unemployed!

The internet is here!

The internet is great!

When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate?

It might be antisocial

But these days that is fine

'Cause life is so much better when you spend it all online!

A place where you can be yourself

No matter if you're geeky!

Find friends that share your hobbies

Even if they're freaky!

Where any question in your head

Is answered in an instant!

Who cares if you procrastinate

Your one shot at existence!

The internet is here!

The internet is great!

When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate?

Without the internet

We never would have met!

We'd never be here on a stage

Doing things we might regret!

Dance break!

Who cares if you're a loser

And everybody knows it!

Or if you spend your life drawing whiskers on your noses!

Even if your chances of getting tanned are slim

Or if you live vicariously through the life of a Sim!

Sheltay zomo!

The internet is here!

The internet is great!

When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate?

It might be antisocial

But these days that is fine!

'Cause life is so much better!

Life is so much better!

Life is so much better

When you

Spend

It

All

Online!

Yabee yabbeeeeeeeee

[brostateexam]

I guess I wasn't ready to have this talk.

The vet called me back and we basically had The Conversation about Miriam. If you're not a pet owner, there are basically only two of these, and they boil down to:

Would you rather she be comfortable or live a long time?

Is it time to say goodbye?

We haven't reached the second conversation yet, but we are at the first one. I didn't think it would be so soon. We are celebrating her 13th birthday this weekend. But she has a bad heart and bad teeth and bad kidneys.

I'm going to proceed with getting her dental work done, even though the sedation will make her bad kidneys worse, because her teeth are really in a bad way and she's in danger of abscesses. So she won't live as long because of the decreased functionality of her kidneys, but she'll have better quality of life because her teeth won't hurt and it will lower her risk of acute dental infections, and she won't be in as much dental pain.

The vet says that if I can get her to eat kidney friendly dry food, it will help a lot, so we'll try that. She's fussy but apparently most cats like the kidney friendly food because it's quite tasty, so I'll try it and hopefully she'll enjoy it.

I just wasn't ready. She's an indoor cat and she shouldn't be where she is, but ... I suppose averages are averages for a reason. Not all kitties can get gold medals for health. Still love her so much that it makes me feel crazy.

[nexoncrowfeather]

I shall now post stuff >:3

hello. i'm nex's girl friend. my name is Leia. I go by uzi. my mom doesn't let me post stuff on Tumblr. but nex does! my mom doesn't know he has Tumblr, so she'll never know!!! heh. take that, mom. I wanna use Tumblr as an online public dairy, so i'll be sharing some info with you guys!! but mostly not private info. first, i'll start by talking Abt nex. nex is 19 years old, & he's a femboy, he's REALLY hot. he has brown hair and green eyes. he's neptunic, neptunic is a sexuality where you are attracted to women, non-binary people, or anyone who doesn't identify as a man. I'm like actually obsessing over him!!!! >_< he's really nice to me, and he's sooo FREAKING smart it's like not even funny!!! when he lived with his shithead of a step dad, his dad would search him for any blades, money, knives, and really anything he wasn't supposed to have (so basically he wasn't supposed to have anything), but guess what? nex would wear yoga shorts with pockets under his actual pants! he'd hide razor blades, money, and really anything flat in there! then, I let him borrow one of my non padded bras, and he'd hide candy in there! he always wears baggy gothic clothing, so his dad never noticed! and he still doesn't know that nex did that, even today! nex never had good parents, his dad was very strict and didn't support him. when nex first said he was neptunic, his dad slapped him and grounded him for six months!!! nex always was really good at hiding his depression, but then his mom got him a therapist, and he finally had someone to vent to. his therapist is a really good person, she actually cared abt him, and she never told his parents about the bad stuff that he did. but then, one day, when I was at school, I noticed him sitting all alone at one of the lunch tables, I didn't know him yet, but I really did feel bad for him, so I sat next to him. I offered him some of my lunch, but he refused to eat. he had a cut under his left eye, I asked him how he got that, and he just said it was his cat. we talked some more, and I found out that he was in 5th grade, so he was older than me. I was in 2nd grade at the time. over time, me and nex became close friends, but, when I first met him, I immediately started liking him!!! it wasn't until he was in sixth grade that he confessed his love for me, and we started dating! I know, I know, he's like way older than me, but deep inside, he's still ten years old. nex is very protective over me, and when I came over to his house for the night and told him that I was getting bullied at school, he said he'd deal with it. and guess what he did the next day? he walked me to school, went out into the recess area with me, and beat the holy shit out of the boys that bullied me. luckily no one saw him, so he didn't get in trouble. now he goes to elevate academy, and I go to river city, but that doesn't stop him from seeing me!! in the middle of the night, he'll go grab his moms tablet and face time me. and whenever me and my fam come over to his house, we're locked in his bedroom for the entire night. nex goes by n, and his full name is Nexon crowfeather. it's pronounced nex-in. yes, he just had to change his last name to his favorite character's name, crowfeather. you know, from warrior cats? he likes crowfeather a lot. when I move out, i'm changing my name to uzi. then, when we get married, my name'll be uzi crowfeather! and when we have a daughter, we'll name her ghost. then her middle name will be nori, and then her last name'll be crowfeather. nex's FULL name is nexon hesper crowfeather. at first, nex was gay, but when he met me, he realized that he wasn't attracted to men anymore at all. nex is also a therian. his therio types are silver fox, cross fox, and Turkish van cat. his father doesn't support therians, so he hates nex. but I love him to pieces, and that's all that matters.

[fuzziekins]

Disney Say Aro

Charlotte and Anna are hopeless romantics. They love meeting up for a good rom-com and catching up on their romantic lives. But every once in a while, Anna gets the feeling that Lottie is just a little too into it. She goes on and on about these amazing dates she's been on yet they never actually lead to the romantic relationship of her dreams. Anna's considered saying something, but instead opts not to pry and let Lottie come to whatever conclusion on her own eventually. In the meantime, she just enjoys seeing her friend light up talking about her dreams.

This pairing came a little out of left field. I had Princess and the Frog on in the background while trying (and failing) to draw a different pairing but, naturally, kept glancing at the TV. It's so obvious that Charlotte is a romantic at heart. From the time she's been little she's talked about finding her dream prince and getting married. But here's the thing - in real life, that's the kind of thing that's expected, what we're supposed to want. That's the amatonormativity talking. What happens if, even when you think you find the person of your dreams it doesn't fall into place? When the idea of it happening is more appealing than the reality? That's where the term cupioromantic comes in; the desire for a romantic relationship but not (or rarely, hardly, sporadically, etc) feeling romantic attraction. It felt like such an interesting dynamic to play with when it came to Charlotte. It's also a reminder that there's no wrong way to be aromantic. You can enjoy the idea of romance or a romantic novel or movie but not want it for yourself. And that's just as valid as never feeling or wanting anything to do with romance.

From what i could find online, there were a few cupioromantic flags. Most are alternatives to the general cupio flag which would represent both cupiosexual and cupioromantic. I opted to go with the most used flag, but you can use whichever design you gravitate more towards. I almost used the pink from the cupio flag for Lottie because putting her in pink or even red felt so obvious. But i wanted the romantic identity to stand out on its own rather than be tied to the sexual one; because while cupio is both an asexual and aromantic identity, not everyone who is aro identifies as ace. So as strange as it felt to color Lottie in green, it not only made sense to solidify that, yes, this is specifically about an aro identity, but it's also a nod to the bond that she shares with Tiana. Because we all know that Charlotte has always come through for her friend and would choose her over romance any day.

There's also little pan-colored hearts on Anna's shirt at my friend's suggestion because i just couldn't resist throwing in my personal headcannon as Anna being pansexual. 😆

Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week to my fellow aro-specs! 💚 This may not be much, but i hope that every little drawing is enough to help you feel seen, accepted, and validated. With so little representation out there, sometimes we just have to make it ourselves. And if that means continuing to make Disney gay, then i guess we'll just have to keep that going. Hope you enjoyed!

More Queer Disney: x, x, x, x, x, x

[shiftingwithrae]

How to naturalize shifting 😭 I was blinded by shifttok n now I'm dying from it

Unfortunately I'm not sure how to answer that question myself. 😭 I guess like just realizing that it is a real reality one where you are already at is just like a good way to sort of naturalize it. You know treat it like the place we live in now it's real here and it is there to. I hope this answered your question i feel like I might have did it wrong so if I did plz tell me and we'll figure it out! 😭

[raavenb2619]

Koisenu Futari Episode 8 spoilers under the cut

The way the title card comes up and frames the shot, literally separating Sakuko and Takahashi.

"In other words, rather than doing a risky and fun job, he chose a life with a boring job where he can spend his days with you. That's how important living with you is to him." Kazu, that's sweet, but you're wrong : )

That was a really nice scene, Sakuko with her mom

XD wait I just realized, the conflict here could be fixed by "communicate or break up" XD

That's a nice montage of a scene from every episode. Celeste Summit vibes. (Or technically Core I guess)

Gods, I've never seen an aroace confession before, and that was so very Takahashi, they didn't compromise his character for any of it

"What you're saying is that we both will live separately." "Right." "Living separately means we'll become alone again. And our relation of 'Family (subject to change)' will vanish you know?" "It doesn't have to." Yes!!!!!!!!

Gods, the framing in this scene is Takahashi up and to the left, and Sakuko down and to the right, which is an inverse of the framing of the poster/title card, because she's helping him to grow for a change!

Gods the music in this scene is so good, and I have so much to say aaaaaaaaaa the swell under Sakuko is perfect

"Also, if I ever get tired of living here, we can think about it again together. You also try working in the Vegetable Kingdom. If it doesn't work out, you can quit. It's okay to not decide everything. We can put everything– ourselves, our family, as subject to change. When we put something in words, we get bounded by it. Just like us not wanting to get bound by the 'normal' defined by those around. The things we hold important and our ways of thinking keep changing continuously. So we can think about the best in that particular moment. If that time, our best is completely different, and things don't work out even after talking...then we don't need to force ourselves to remain as a family."

I needed to quote that without commentary because it's perfect. It's so perfect. It's. Fluidity and flexibility in how you view yourself and terms and the future, it's feelings first and labels later, it's people grow and change and we might grow apart, and if that happens we'll try to talk about it and make things work, but if we can't that's okay, we don't need to force ourselves to remain as a family.

I need to put that quote on my wall and watch this scene once a month

She's learned and grown and she's helping him to learn and grow, too. And it's not just generic growth, it's growth that's influenced by an aroace lens. It's perfect. It's perfect

"Thank you, Kazu-kun. For always trying to understand me. Thank you." "I am the kind of guy who grows up everyday. Isn't my absorbing power so awesome?" XDDDDDDD I literally laughed out loud, then rewound to type up that exchange, and the moment he said that line I laughed out loud again. Oh, you're a gem, Kazu.

hi you should definitely post your thoughts on each episode of Koisenu Futari (if you want to). cause there’s some character arcs and seeing how opinions of characters change is really fun!

-Interested aros in your area

You know what, I think I will. I didn't have anything to do for ASAW this year, but all of a sudden I do :)

Koisenu Futari Episode 1 spoilers under the cut

Sakuko eating food so she didn't have to talk about love, and then eating too much is just so so funny to me. Peak character design right there.

I can already tell that "Our castle" is a motif that will make me cry because I've glanced through @arotechno's posts about Koisenu Futari.

Sakuko finding Takahashi's blog is incredibly funny to me personally because I am an aroace blogger. (I mean it's also...I've been running this blog for a long time, huh. I haven't answered advice asks in a while, but like. My blog is a resource that I know has helped people figure out that they're aspec. And that's. Huh. There's something weird or surreal about that to me right now, I guess.)

Sakuko asking to be Takahashi's family when she just met him shows me that like, yeah this show really really does know what it's talking about. Because...yeah. (TV show: *is about being aroace*. Me, an aroace: *is shocked that this is so relatable*)

I also just, can't get over the fact that like. This is a real TV show. This is a real professionally made TV show, with actors and extras and lighting and cameras and soundtrack and mixing and cinematography and blocking and. Like, I've seen Bojack Horseman and stuff but like. This is a TV show about aromanticism and asexuality. And a lot of real actual people, real actual real life adults with jobs and stuff who got paid by working on this, worked on this. And the aspec stuff isn't just an incidental side character whose asexuality overshadows their aromanticism and whose identity is rarely relevant. This is a TV show specifically about being aroace. That's literally what it's about.

Has anyone done motivic analysis of the music? I wonder if there's anything interesting. I notice the piano at the very start of Ep 1 came back later in Ep 1. Obligatory https://raavenb2619.wordpress.com/2021/04/28/how-frozen-and-frozen-iis-music-codes-elsa-as-aroace/

[critical-reading-of-harry-potter]

patches liveblogs the sorcerer's stone

chapter 1

mr dursley sees a bunch of people in the street in cloaks and his first thought isn't that there's a con happening. oh how the times have changed since 1997 (i assume. i wasn't there)

there's a post going around somewhere about how owls would be terrible messenger animals, actually

alright ill give rowling this, the prose is pretty engaging

"[Mr. Dursley] hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imaging things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination" (5 [see 1]) got a genuine laugh out of me

lots of emphasis on how the dursleys are Normal, Which Means Boring (basically the entire first sequence with the dursleys), and therefore anything they think is Weird is (implicitly) Good

dumbledore being introduced with "nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive" (8) where "everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome" (9) sets him up immediately as someone we should like and trust. this is pretty obvious but also neatly done

when dumbledore uses the deluminator to make the street so dark that none of the muggles can see anything-- it's a lovely poetic image, but isn't there like light pollution? and stars?

fine i guess it could be cloudy

ok genuinely, why are wizards so afraid of muggles finding out about them? (in-universe -- i get The Masquerade is a whole thing and is kinda built into the story so i wont question it too much)

like i get 500 years ago or whatever with the witch trials

but like these days nobody would (be able to) persecute them and also i dont think most people would care that much?

so is it just tradition? or is there something im missing

ive always been so on board with dumbledore's insistence on using voldemort's name. name the thing you're afraid of so you can face your fear

mcgonagall describing dumbledore as "noble" because he refuses to go to the dark side use the dark arts (11) like?? girl that's just what being Good is, you choose. every. day. to do good instead of evil. that's all that sets those things apart.

hmmmm actually. this may be relevant to how rowling conceptualizes good and evil as inherent qualities...

wow dumbledore getting a LOT of use out of lemon drops as a tactic for evasion

hagrid's described as "almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide" (14) -- but (iirc) never as fat. interesting considering the constant emphasis on dudley and vernon dursley's fatness

dumbledore has a scar over his left knee that's a perfect map of the london underground (15)?? this is so funny why does he say this, it literally never comes up again im,,,

hagrid vs dumbledore vs mcgonagall's reactions to leaving harry at privet drive (15-16) sets up their relationships with him nicely: dumbledore and mcgonagall more reserved but still a bit misty-eyed, hagrid openly crying and pronouncing his care for harry

i read hagrid's behavior here as straight-up caring for harry and not trying to hide itwhere mcgonagall and dumbledore are trying to maintain a facade of distance. but that's not how the scene is framed

even this early on, hagrid's being set up as rough, uneducated, wild (literally; see p. 14; also see his directly transcribed accent, where most other characters speak in proper english), in contrast with mcgonagall's strict proper tough love and dumbledore's eccentric whimsy as a cover for deeper care

here, hagrid's overt emotionality comes off as another effect of his wildness, whereas mcgonagall and dumbledore's stiff upper lips appear proper/educated in comparison

this is perhaps indicative of rowling's (potentially subconscious) take on emotionality/masculinity and class divides. (will have to think more about that one)

chapter 2

[1] my copy of this book is the american paperback, ISBN 0-590-35342-X

[egophiliac]

I'm very new to joseimukes, what happens when they reach the conclusion of the main plot? Do they keep the game going with a main story - part 2 and events to wring out every cents out of the audience or do they close down the servers and that's the end of it?? I'm scared for my twst obsession's future

honestly, this is the first game of this kind that I've played that looks like it's actually going to reach the end of the story without getting cancelled midway through, so...I have no idea! :') my gut assumption is that there'll probably keep being events and reruns for a while, until it finally stops being profitable enough to justify itself and they end service. but I am also interested in the answer, if other people more familiar can give their experience!

[sicklyworm]

My head is too full of sickness induced brain fog to say anything smart rn so...

Some interesting quotes from the forth book extras (English translation pages 216-217):

"At the beginning, it was purely to vent, and he wrote whatever and however he wanted. Though the stories were unbearably shitty, and even struggled to get monetized, he did manage to get good reviews from a niche crowd."

"The more he wrote, the more of a shut-in he became, and the more of a shut-in he became, the more he wrote. As a classic worthless otaku, the people with whom he had the best relationships and got along with most were all on the internet, oceans and seas apart. He basically didn’t have any friends like Mobei-Jun, and it would likely be very hard to find any again in the future.

Wait.

Mobei-Jun? A friend?

Since when had he started seeing Mobei-Jun as a “friend”?!"

Points of interest:

He started canonically started out as a emotional outlit for his struggles in life but then capitalism came knocking on historic and his creative outlet turned into what I would consider worse then a nine to five.

As he has no work-life balance whatsoever in ether life.

His life style became objectively less healthy as he became a shut in inorder to write enough PIDW to pay for his living expenses. It seems on some level he very much dislikes being a shut-in considering his worthless otaku comment but, yk, gotta do what you gotta do.

He, canonically, had close online friends. Wich is not only really endearing and relatable to a lot of readers but also amazing fanfiction material.

Discord AU on my dashboard due yesterday. Please and thank you.

Also his panicking about even thinking about MBJ as a.... Friend. Is silly and goofy and I love him.

So, conclusion,

I'm very sleepy

and very ill

and I very much need to put SQH I a blender with a bunch of rocks.

[thelaurenshippen]

the way that silver said "I will stand here with you an hour, a day, a year" to flint and "I will wait a day, a month, a year, forever" to madi....I'm sick to my stomach. who is doing unhinged devotion like this man

[the-tenth-arcanum]

I haaate it that it's getting so hard to tell when art is ai generated. I've seen a painting three times on my dash now and my first thought was "this is nice" and my second thought was "is this ai" because it had a slightly odd vibe. and I googled the "artist's" name and ended up on the original instagram post and sure enough the op wrote "this is ai generated! :)" when someone asked about the artist. what's the point then. what's the fucking point.

[poetfilm]

sometimes you might find yourself at alice's apartment and when you walk in there's just a cat sitting on the couch and she doesn't address it at all until you point it out. then she's like "oh that's henry miller. don't worry about him" and henry miller the cat just stares at you when you sit down.

sometimes he's not on the couch but he's sitting on the fire escape and watching tv through the window. henry miller is not a very affectionate cat aside from allowing occasional head scratches and mostly is just there for the tv until he gets bored and decides to leave again. i wouldn't call him alice's cat because he doesn't really live there but shows up sometimes and she'll feed him. they're sort of friends but would never call each other that because henry miller doesn't speak human languages and alice is usually like "well he's a cat so i'm not sure". but they are probably friends

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek

[defiledtomb]

( ͡❛ ‿‿ ͡❛)

[eskawrites]

#21 for the angsty prompt, if you feel like it <3

21. "This isn't what it looks like."

Nancy has picked up many skills in all her years fighting the supernatural forces beneath Hawkins. How to shoot a gun. How to set a bear trap. How to bandage a wound, sort of. Well enough, anyway.

How to pack a bag quickly. How to sneak out of the house without being seen. How to disappear.

Her clothes are easy enough to throw into a suitcase, though she lingers for far too long debating whether she wants to throw Robin's sweater in there, too (she does). She leaves all her things in the bathroom, figuring she can just buy more wherever she ends up.

She doesn't touch the photos, knowing she doesn't deserve them, but she ends up just standing and looking at them for a while, getting lost in her own raging thoughts as she wonders yet again what the hell she's doing. Why the hell she hasn't done it yet.

She lingers too long. She hears Robin's car pull up, the sound of her tires on the driveway familiar in a way Nancy hadn't even realized until now. The car door shuts, and Nancy stares helplessly at the mess she's made of their bedroom. She hears the jingle of Robin's keys, then the turn of the lock. Her vision is blurred by the time Robin's greeting carries through the house. Then,

"Oh, you're in here. I--Nance? What's wrong?"

Nancy turns around in time to see Robin notice the suitcase open on the bed, Nancy's entire wardrobe piled inside it.

"What's going on?"

"This isn't what it looks like," she tries, but she was never a good liar, really. Clever, determined, analytical, but a terrible liar. Especially in front of Robin.

"Then what is it?" Robin says, giving her the benefit of the doubt anyway. An understanding Nancy can't stand. A chance she doesn't deserve.

And all Nancy can do is stare at her.

"Nancy?" Robin asks, her voice pitching high and nervous. "What's going on?"

"I can't," Nancy breathes.

"Can't what?"

"I just--I don't--I'm sorry, Robin."

Robin is crying now, too, reading the silences between Nancy's choked words, seeing her so vividly and so thoroughly. Nancy hates it. She wishes, suddenly, for Robin to be like Jonathan. Like Steve. More friend than lover, more stranger than friend, in the end. Someone easy to let go of. Someone who will let her go.

But Robin isn't like that. She's always been more. She's always known exactly why Nancy says the things she says, does the things she does.

"I--" Robin falters. Takes a ragged breath. Tries again. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Nancy rushes to say. "Nothing at all, you didn't--you know you didn't, Robs, you know it's always been me."

Robin shakes her head. "Then don't do this. Don't go."

"I don't know how to stay," she says, and she hears Robin sob.

"Try," Robin begs. "Please. For me. For us. Please, just try."

"You deserve so much more," whispers Nancy

"You don't have to always run."

"But what if I do?"

"You don't."

"Robin--" She can't do this. She turns sharply away from her, unable to look at her anymore, to face what she's doing to her. She grabs the suitcase instead and pulls it toward herself. Her hand goes to the zipper and tugs hard. It catches, and she grits her teeth and shoves the sleeve of whatever's in the way back inside.

Robin's sweater. It's soft to the touch, recognizable immediately. Nancy's fingers curl around it without permission. Behind her, she hears Robin's shaky breath.

"You don't have to do this," she says.

"I already have." Nancy turns to face her. Her hand won't let go of the sweater, so she pulls it with her, bundles it in her arms and holds it to her chest. "Robs. If I stay, you will spend the rest of our lives terrified that I'll try to leave again."

"Nance--"

"I can't do that to you. I can't--you--I'm sorry."

"So don't go."

"I'm so sorry."

"Nancy, please."

Nancy shakes her head. Screw the suitcase. She can buy clothes, too, when she's gone. She just needs to go.

She starts to walk out of the room, but Robin catches her by the arms as she passes her.

"Robin--"

"Just tell me why." Robin searches her face desperately. "Why? You have unresolved trauma? I know, I do too. The nightmares? The flashbacks? Your terrible sleep schedule and your unhealthy coping techniques? I have them all, too."

"You deserve--"

"Bullshit. Don't tell me I deserve better, I want you."

"I want you to have more."

"Not possible." Robin lets go of her for just long enough to step into her space, to reach up and cup her cheeks, brushing the tears gently, frantically, away. "I know your grief, Nancy. I know your pain, and your fear, and I know your need to run. Just please, please, don't run from me."

"I'll hurt you. I have hurt you."

"And you'll do it again, and I'll hurt you, because that's what people do. But we'll heal each other, too. Love each other, too. You just have to give us a chance."

Nancy closes her eyes and hugs the sweater closer. "Let me go, Robin."

"No." It comes out as a whimper.

"Please. Just let me go."

Robin's hands tremble against her, but she does as Nancy asks. She always does what Nancy asks, and Nancy loves her for it even as she absolutely loathes the slow, painful way Robin releases her now. She loves her, and that's the most terrifying thing she's ever faced. Nancy steps back, widening the distance between them.

She pulls the sweater on. It's long on hair, bulky enough to be instantly warm. The sleeves go past her fingers, and she bunches them in her hands and holds on for dear life.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, opening her eyes again even as she backs away further. Robin watches her, eyes wide, broken heart on her sleeve. Nancy forces herself to turn around and keep walking.

She can hear Robin following her, but she doesn't argue again. Not as Nancy pulls on her sneakers, or grabs her purse, or pulls her keys down from the hook by the door. She just trails silently after her, watching Nancy rip herself out of the life they've started to build together.

But as Nancy opens the door and forces herself down the front steps to her car, her own thoughts start screaming at her again, voicing all the protests she's certain Robin is biting back now.

Nancy stops. She stares at the car, then down at the keys in her hand. An escape. A retreat. A new beginning, as if starting over has ever made her any less broken.

She turns back around. Robin is standing just outside the door, socked feet on the cold concrete, tears on her cheeks as she watches Nancy go.

"I don't know how to stay," Nancy says, and maybe it's supposed to be an apology, but it feels more like a plea.

"I'll figure it out with you," says Robin, always hearing everything she never says. "You know I will. You just have to trust me."

"It's not you I don't trust."

"I trust you, Nance," Robin breathes. "I trust you with my life. I trust you with my heart."

"I wish you wouldn't."

"That's not your choice to make."

She swallows. "But this is."

Robin closes her eyes. "This is."

Nancy drops her purse. She runs back up the steps. Robin opens her eyes in time for Nancy to slam into her.

"I'm sorry," she cries even as she wraps her arms around her.

"I know. It's okay."

"I'm going to hurt you."

"And I'll forgive you, just as long as you love me, too."

"I do. I don't know how not to."

"Then that's all we need," Robin whispers. Her hand tangles in Nancy's hair, and Nancy clings to her like a lifeline. "I promise that's all we need."